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All dead men are citizens of Earth. Therefore as a dead man... I take pride in the words... I am a brain eater.
— Claus von Stiffenberg

The Zombies are one of the four factions engaged in the massive world war lead by Colonel Claus "Stiffy" von Stiffenberg. They were created when Commandant SixFour launched a bioweapon against the humans as a last-ditch effort to save himself and accidentally approved of the zombie creation part of the bioweapon. While zombies were originally passive to the other factions, they turned hostile when a human soldier shot at them in a panic.

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Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.

Battle vs. Blood Gulch Crew alongside Robots (Risk: Factions) (by Goddess of Despair)

Red team is at their base Sarge is helping Lopez repair a warthog and Donut, Grif, and Simmons are on top of the base talking. Washington, Tex, and Church are talking about project freelancer next to blue team's tank, while Tucker is attempting to teach Caboose pickup lines. Grif says to Simmons “Hey ever wonder why there here? Simmons says “I think we are here because…” Grif interrupts “No not why we are here why they are here.” Simmons looks were Grif is pointing and sees 4 zombies and 5 robots approaching. Simmons says to Grif “Oh no quick get Sarge.” Grif (being lazy) responds “I know me and Donut will fend them off you go get Sarge.” Simmons runs to Sarge as Donut fires at the zombies and headshots one. Blood gulch sqauds-10 Zombies-8 Robots-9

Donut continues to fire then says to Grif “Why aren’t you helping?” Grif says “I’m taking cover.” “You always take cover!” Grif says “Well I don’t want to die.” Sarge runs up the steps to the roof of red base and asks“Who is attacking us?” Donut says “Zombies and robots,” Sarge responds “Really? Simmons initiate plan kill zombies!” Simmons says “On it sir.” Then shoots Grif’s foot as Sarge finishes him with a headshot from the shotgun. Blood gulch squads-9 Zombies-8 Robots-9

Donut says “Sarge what do we do?” Lopez suggests in Spanish “Maybe we should kill them before they get into the base.” Sarge responds “Great idea Lopez and shoots Grif’s corpse and then shot at a robot that was climbing the stairs to red base’s roof.

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Sarge then says to his team “Men it’s time to kill these zombies and robots for the honor of Red team, now attack!” Red team defends their base while blue team encounters the zombies. Tucker is saying to Caboose “And that is why you always don’t say you’re a zombie next to a chick.” Caboose looked puzzled and said “What do zombies have to do with..” he was cut off when a zombie vomited on his back. Caboose said “My back feels funny.” And fell to the ground. Church saw this and screamed “CABOOSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” and sniped the zombie that barfed on him.

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Tucker said “Last girl I last time I talked to a chick she threw up out of something else, bow chika bow wow.” Church then said “Holy sh*t I hit something!” Washington serponds “You never called it, it doesn’t count. Then 5 robots approached Tex, Washington, and Church and fired at them. Church took cover behind the tank while Washington and Tex charged at the robots and killed 4 of them when one electrocuted Washington with his chest cannon.

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Church drew his smg and shot at 3 zombies that were flanking him, he killed one but the other two shoved him to the ground.

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The sound of Church in pain caused Caboose to stand ignoring the pain the zombie vomit gave him and he charged at the zombies, he tore out one zombies skull and used hit to beat hit and the zombie next to it to death.

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Tex ran out of ammo and charged at the last robot at blue base and went to punch it in the head but missed and the robots stabbed her gut with his arm cannon and electrocuted her to death.

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Tucker stabbed the robot in its back with his energy sword, then looked down at Tex’s corpse and said “Best part about dead chicks is they can’t say no.” Before he could finish he got hit with the butt of Church’s sniper. “Don’t say that ever say that about Tex.” Tucker said “Okay okay, bow chika bow wow.” At red base…

Simmons said to Sarge “Maybe we can work with the red robots to kill the blues and the zombies!” Sarge then said “Simmons you don’t realize all robots can’t be trusted.” Lopez then said “Im a robot you..” Lopez then got blown up by a grenade launcher. Blood gulch squads-7 Zombies-4 Robots-4

Donut thought he heard someone in the base and said “No my fashion magazines are in there!” He then entered the base to find two zombies in there with M16s. Donut charged at them a combat knife in one hand and Lopez’s wrench in the other. One zombie shot his M16, which didn’t get through Donut’s armor but the other vomited on Donut. Donuts last words were “This is so gross.” Then a zombie dropped a fire grenade on him. Blood Gulch squads-6 Zombies-4 Robots-4

Blue team flanked the zombies and robots at red base and Church tried to snipe on but missed. Church said “Stupid Sun was in my eyes.” Church then got hit by a robot's grenade launcher, which severely injured him. Blood gulch squads-6 Zombies-4 Robots-4

Tucker killed a nearby robot with his energy sword then threw it at a zombie. Simmons then got killed by a robot that flanked him.

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Sarge killed the robot with his shotgun, then went into red base to check on Donut. Upon seeing the 2 zombies in the base he aimed his shotgun and killed them both as they sprayed at him with their M16s. Blood gullch squads-5 zombies-2 robots-2

Tucker went to retrieve his energy sword but was knocked down by a zombie and before the zombie could finish Tucker off Caboose killed the zombie.

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Tucker stood up and said “Did Church die?” He looked over Caboose’s shoulder and saw all the robot team’s parts everywhere.

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Caboose said in a sad voice "Yes, he was my best." Caboose stopped talking. Tucker said to him "You okay?" A familar voice responded. "Tucker im fine and...inside Caboose...f*ck."

Expert's Opinion

The blood gulch squads won due to the weapon supperiority, better teamwork, and better armor. While the robots and zombies were good opponents the zombie's main weapon was the M16, which could never get through the blood gulch squad's armor.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.


The battle was disregarded because the Robots and Zombies never fought alongside each other.

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