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You shall ride eternal. Shiny, and chrome!

The Warboys are Immortan Joe's loyal soldiers. War Boys are handpicked at a young age by the guardians of the elevator platform of The Citadel and are indoctrinated as zealots into Immortan Joe's cult, with Joe as their immortal leader. They are based on the Japanese Kamikaze pilots of World War II.

They are completely loyal, blindly following their leader, Immortan Joe, never questioning the morality of his actions. They view death in service to Immortan Joe as an honor and seek to die in combat, so they can be reborn in Valhalla as immortal.

The War Boys have very bad health issues, being stricken with diseases like cancer, mostly lymphoma. Due to their ailing bodies and the nature of their actions, a War Boy will not live for a lot of years. Their most notable physical feature is their white paint covering their entire body and black pigment or grease in surrounding their eyes.

Battle vs. Brutal Exterminators (by Snigel)[]

No battle was written.

WINNER: WAR BOYS

Expert's Opinion[]

TBW

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Reaver (by Kaiser of Metcalfer99)[]

Prologue



Space, on the edges of the Verse 


The vessel shuddered as another ramshackle boarding ship slammed into its hull, sending two men tumbling out of their seats. “That doses it, I’m activating the Mercury Drive” the other men looked at him incredulously “piss off your not” “well if I don’t we are going to get viciously railroaded by a group of randy rage monsters” “if you turn on the Mercury Drive we are going to be fused into the ships hull” “I would rather that significantly then what’s currently happening to Jeremy in Engineering” he swung around to turn on a monitor to show Jeremy currently getting skinned alive by a group of misshapen men and women “to be fair Jeremy is a tool and personally I think he deserves it” “sweet merciful tap dancing Christ on a Core World tin roof, why do you think anyone deserves that” “he took my last yogurt and lied straight to my face about it, Alliance Command won’t restock our yogurt reserves for another two months, two dam months” “ONE OF THEM IS CURRENTLY TURNING JEREMYS STOMACH INTO A MASK, you know what '操它', I’m doing it and you can’t stop me” he proceeded to flip a series of switches while a humming noise began to rise in volume until it was abruptly replaced by a blaring siren and an automatic feminine voice “CATASTROPHIC FAILURE IN MERCURY DRIVE, IMPLOSION IN 20 SECONDS” the lead man paused with a wincing look “他妈的” he turned to face the other man “well this is going to set back Faster Than Light Travel research by at least four decades” “piss off”. Everything was enveloped in a purple light and silence, before being quickly replaced by inhuman screaming as both men’s skin sloughed off their bones and their eyes dribbled out of their sockets as a hole in reality was torn. A nearby Reaver ship tried to turn away before being swallowed up by the gaping maw, sent through time and space to a new destination: Earth.




The Citadel, in former Australia 


Today was a busy day for Corpus Colossus, and tomorrow would be even busier. He would have to take monthly stock of food, water and man power on top of having to prepare a War Rig for run out to Gastown, but tonight he will be luckily enough to have some spare time to gaze at the stars. So far tonight he has seen two satellites and even a shooting star, but so far nothing was different. Well, nothing was different until an earth-shattering boom and a blindly bright purple light came from above, then followed by multiple burning hulks crashing to earth from 40 to 60 kilometres away. Blinking after the bright flash Corpus just stared out into the wasteland “Dads going to be interested in that”


———————————————————————————————————————



The Day after:



Along a winding road amongst a rocky outcropping sped a hodgepodge car and truck covered in spikes practically crawling with pale gaunt men. Standing on top of the truck was the ring master of this rusty cavalcade, a man named Tetanus, at the venerable age of 30 he commanded the men of this refuelling mission, much to his chagrin. While the other men had ridden out with Immortan Joe himself to go recover the new scrap that had fallen out of the sky, his men and himself have been sent out to go get more fuel from Gastown, it didn’t help his already sullen mood with the fact that they had to travel along this side road on account of a large piece of sky scrap landing on the main road. But hey at least he got to command a War Rig.



War Boys +++++++++++#



“Ain’t no Buzzards today” snapping out of his sullen thoughts Tetanus spun around to face the younger man “don’t say that ya wanker, ya jinks us ya will” although now that he is thinking about it the young boy was right, no Buzzards today. Now the day was still young so they still could harass but so far there’s been no sight of them. Turning back around Tetanus saw the same boy looking down ashamed “aw, now don’t feel like that mate, ya just have to be careful what you’ll say, otherwise ya could jinks us, I’m not mad at ya, just be careful” after this short talk the boy seemed to perk up. “Well at least ya made some one happy today Tetanus” although his small smile faded once the roar of two foreign engines were made clear.

The escort car in front was smashed into pieces of scrap as a blur of silver and black smoke ran ramshod through it, Tetanus kept his head on swivel as a second vehicle appeared trailing a cloud of black smoke, turning back to the boy he began to scream “YOU BRAIN DEAD COCK HEAD, THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF” turning to the rest of his men he began bellowing orders “GRAB YA WEAPONS YA BUNCH OF COCKLESS WANKERS AND PREPARE TO GO TO VALHALLA” this was followed by a stream of cheers and roars.


Reavers ===========$$


Finally, getting a good look at the two vehicles Tetanus did a double take upon realising that they were floating a couple of feet above the ground “bloody hell”. His shock was short lived as a Harpoon came rocketing out of both vehicles, tethering themselves to the truck. The War Boys began trying to rid themselves of the intruding vehicles by firing a combination of crossbow bolts and streams of fire from the truck mounted flamethrowers, seeing the weapons have no effect on the seemingly magical vehicles Tetanus yells at his men to grab the thunder sticks, “let’s see ya shrug these off ya bastards” the explosive javelins were never thrown on account of a barrage of buzz saws and spears been launched from the silver and red vehicles. Slamming himself down Tetanus narrowly avoids a buzz saw to the head but the screams of his comrades show him that not every one escaped unscathed.


++++++++#


Three War Boys have been stricken down by the barrage with two taking a total of eight spears to their midsections and the third was struck down by two buzz saws to the chest. Tetanus leapt to his feet “UP NOW YOU DAFT BASTARDS, THEY ARE BOARDING US”! And so they were with a gaggle of monstrous men and women covered in open wounds and clad in human leather now jumping off their Land Stalkers and onto the Rig. Responding to the boarders a quick War Boy jumped to the Flamethrower and proceeded to set two Reavers ablaze, sending them tumbling onto the sharp, rocky road below.


=========$$


The War Boy let out a cheerful holler before taking a series of tranq darts to his chest, looking down he began trying to pull the grotty darts out before collapsing off the back of the Rig and into the wheels of the truck.


++++++++#


The other War Boys rushed to fight the Reavers that have now clambered to the top, with one War Boy kicking a small female Reaver in the face sending her into the sharp rocks below, the War Boy proceeded to try the same trick on another Reaver only to have two Shurikens embed themselves in his face. Another War Boy rushed a Reaver before slamming his Machete into its ribs, although the Reaver responded in kind by hacking the mans neck with his Axe. Watching the man collapse while trying to stem the flow of blood the Reaver pulled out the embedded Machete and proceeded to hack the man with both weapons while roaring.


++++++#


========$$


Swinging around the deformed man prepared to launch himself at the others before sent on his back by a barrage of six darts hitting him in the chest, neck and face. The six men collectively reloaded their crossbows before sending another barrage that cast down a small adolescent Reaver onto the hard road below.


++++++#


======$$


“COME ON YA WORTHLESS SONS OF WHORES, WE NEED TO GET THE GAT IF WE ARE GOING TO GET RID OF THESE PISSANTS.” As one the Remaining War Boys charged with their old Machetes drawn as the Reavers charged them with reckless abandon as they swung their swords and axes. As they met a Reaver was cast down as an old blade cleft its face from its left temple to its lower right jaw. Another lurched off the truck as it’s throat was opened up wide, the Reavers responded in kind by disembowelling a War Boy with a sword followed up by another War Boy having their clavicle split in two by another sword.



++++#


====$$


Tetanus was dragged to the ground by a particularly large male Reaver who proceeded to chomp down on his left forearm, screaming in pain Tetanus reached a nearby Monkey Wrench and proceeded to slam the wrench into the left side of the mans head sending him off to the side. Getting up Tetanus glanced at his arm noticing a decent chunk missing from his arm “you cheeky dick head, that was my nice arm” rushing to the up stood Reaver Tetanus gave a back handed swing to Reavers face before grabbing the Wrench with both arms and slamming it into the Reavers crown splitting it like a watermelon at a Gallagher show.


++++#


===$$


Hearing a gurgled scream Tetanus swung around to see a War Boy fall down with a chunk missing from his throat along with a 6 foot tall bloody mouthed Reaver now rushing towards him with its sword raised, not wanting to deal with this annoyance Tetanus swung the wrench in underhanded swing that planted itself firmly into the Reavers jaw, sending said Reaver tumbling down the side of the truck before abruptly stopping via a rusty spike going through its left arm. Tetanus turned around to see another War Boy take an axe to his skull and the boy that he yelled at before get chucked off the truck. Now both Reavers have turned their full attention to Tetanus.


++#


===$$


Tetanus ducked under a swing before slamming his wrench into the first Reavers ribs knocking it back, he then lurched to the side dodging an overhead strike from the other which Tetanus followed up with a jab to the Reavers chest. Tetanus was rolling and juking to avoid the repeated attempted blows but alas he couldn’t doge forever and took the flat of an axe to the ribs with the blow breaking a rib. He was laid flat by the blow and was quickly set upon by the two Reavers, Tetanus kicked and flailed but the Reavers continued to cut into him. One of the Reavers held his head down, and mouth open as it brought its sword to bear, but it would never make its mark as both Reavers were torn apart by a loud burst of gunfire. Looking up Tetanus saw the young War Boy standing with the RPD laughing maniacally, having grabbed onto a chain after being thrown off. Although that laughter quickly disappeared as the truck was rocked hard, looking over the edge Tetanus could see the two Land Stalkers now slamming themselves against the Rig.




++#


=$$


“Hand me the gun and chuck a Thunderstick at that one on the left, it’s about time we deal with these bastards” the young War Boy threw the RPD to Tetanus before grabbing a Thunderstick, then both men took their positions. The young War Boy hurled his Thunderstick at the main portion of the Land Reaver causing it to sharply veer off sharply past a rocky outcropping that severed the cable connecting it to the Rig. Tetanus had taken aim at the Land Stalker on the right-hand side of the truck before unleashing a torrent of lead into the vehicles cockpit, yelling in an inhuman fury Tetanus kept his finger on the trigger until an empty clicking noise emanated from the gun, although he would not need to put any more ammo into the strange vehicle as it lurched forwards while turning to its side right before veering into the path of the War Rig. The impact sending it spinning in a shower of shrapnel into a rock wall and concluding in a small explosion, “YEAH, take that you bastards” the young War Boy whooped and hollered before falling to his knees with a spear emanating from his chest.


++#


=$


Tetanus ducked as more spears flew by and the driver of the truck swerved more avoid any extra damage, peering over the edge Tetanus could see the other Land Stalker gaining ground on the truck, albeit a little bit more on fire courtesy of the Thunderstick. Crawling over to the wounded boy he could see the young man grab a Chrome spray paint canister and proceed to empty it into his mouth followed by grabbing two Thundersticks. “WITNESS ME” “WITNESSED” the young man had a smile on his face as his jumped off the back of the War Rig and onto the burning vehicle. The explosion sent the hovering vehicle nose first into the dead earth before flipping it five meters into the air before coming to its finial resting place with a sizeable explosion.


+#


=


Tetanus stood up as the wreck quickly disappeared behind them “witnessed”, turning around he began clambering to the main cab before hearing a roar behind him, he was floored by the 6 foot Reaver from before as it began to pummel his face. The Reaver did not have him pinned down for long as a hard bump was all Tetanus needed to use the Reavers weight against him and drive the beastly man into a series of rusty spikes, with one such spike going through his spine.


Standing up Tetanus spat on the now paralysed Reaver and then proceeded to pull him off the spikes, holding the still snapping man Tetanus dragged him the edge of the moving vehicle before holding him over the edge “get the fuck off my Rig you worthless mongrel” and then hurled him face first off the truck onto a series of sharp rocks, killing him instantly. Tetanus flopped onto his back and let out sigh “a shame no one heard that.”


———————————————————————————————————————


Epilogue


The War Rig finally came to a halt outside out side of Gastown’s main gates, a voice came down from a watchtower above “where’s ya men ya dick head” Tetanus held up a Reaver Sword and Axe “they died a good death, where’s ya men ya cock head” “Immortan Joe has called em out for a shit fight, apparently that sky scrap is crawling with spooky dick heads and they are attacking everyone” “I think I had run in with them, try and guess who killed my men” “fair enough mate, come on inside with ya driver, we got some Rotgut that I can give to ya mate” the gates opened up and the War Rig drove through.

Expert's Opinion[]

TBW

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

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