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Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?
— Vaas Montenegro

During Jason Brody and his friend’s trip in Bangkok, they hear about an island where you "can do anything" from Doug, the nightclub DJ that works as a spotter for Vaas. They then decided to do a blind skydive over Rook island. When they landed, they are soon captured by Vaas Montengro and his pirates. While Jason and his older brother Grant are tied up, Vaas tells how he is going to ransom them for large amounts of money from their parents. It is revealed later that even after receiving the ransom money, Vaas was going to sell them all anyway to make more money.

After Jason and Grant escape, and make plans to save everyone, Vaas shoots Grant in the neck, killing him. Vaas decides that instead of killing Jason, he lets him run. This would later be his undoing.

While on his campaign to save his friends, Jason learns that Vaas is keeping Liza Snow hostage personally, as a way to make Jason come to him. When Jason assaults a slave prison that is said to hold Liza, he is knocked out and captured by Vaas. When he wakes, he, Liza and Oliver are tied up in chairs in an old abandoned building, while Vaas is pouring and covering them in gasoline. He then sets fire to the building and leaves Jason and Liza to die, but he takes Oliver with him. They escape just as the building is engulfed in flames and collapses on itself.

Battle vs. Shaojie Zhang (by Sir William Of Chalitton)[]

Shaojie was sent by XCOM to the Rook Islands to investigate a rumor of alien remains and objects are sold there to a villain called Hoyt Volker.Shaojie disguised as one of the buyers.He saw alot of alien made objects including the XCOM grade researched objects.Including an alien drug used in one of the aliens called "Berserkers".

Vaas was the seller. Hoyt was the first to buy. He bought the drug. Shaojie is the 2nd. But he whispers to Vaas,"You're in trouble,run away."Vaas replies in hard voice,"Who do you think you are?You son of a b***h,old man!"Shaojie replies again with him preparing the SIG Sauer on the pocket,"XCOM personnel.And you just sold our equipments and alien objects illegally."Vaas,hearing that,kicks back Shaojie and aims his Desert Eagle to Shaojie.But Shaojie already gets his SIG ready and shoots at Vaas' leg. Vaas grunts in pain and shoots his Desert Eagle. The Eagle didn't hit Shaojie even at the hair. Shaojie goes into a forest and hides.Vaas whispers,"Where are you,little old man?" Shaojie replies,"Here" and shoots his XCOM Pistol to Vaas. Vaas quickly dodges the shots and pulls out his Kimber Warrior and shoots at Shaojie's leg.

Shaojie grunts in pain but prepares his X-9 Assault Rifle and shoots it at Vaas. Vaas managed to go out of Shaojie's line of sight. But he has a wound on the stomache."Bit**."He says with the AK 47 and Agram on the hand. He climbs a tree while Shaojie was searching for Vaas."Now,come out."Then Vaas ambushed Shaojie with the burst fires of the Agram an AK 47. Shaojie quickly runs away but now his back got hit. Shaojie tries to hold the pain and runs out of the forest.

Shaojie takes his equipment from his drop site and hides in cover to retaliate to Vaas. Vaas now got an RPG 7 and SPAS 12. Vaas spots Shaojie in the cover and fires his SPAS to Shaojie. The SPAS hits the cover and Shaojie aims his XCOM Shotgun at Vaas and shoots it. But Vaas already run away and backs off. Shaojie rushes to Vaas who's running away. But suddenly Vaas stops and aims his RPG-7."See you later sucker!"Vaas shoots his RPG and the explosion got Shaojie. Shaojie,now lying on the ground,sees Vaas in his face with the Machete on hand."Your head could be a good price."Shaojie replies,"No you don't."And Shaojie pulls out his Bowie and slices at Vaas' leg. Vaas now also falls to the ground. Shaojie manages to get up but again,Vaas makes Shaojie drop again with the Machete. Vaas gets up and ran away again.

Shaojie was reaching for his grenade and AT4.Vaas then miss-shots Shaojie with the Dragunov."Oh,I forgot the scope!"Vaas then aims his Dragunov to Shaojie's head.But then he says,"Spare mercy!"And pulls out his PK Machine Gun and began surpressing Shaojie. In his last effort. Shaojie says in mandarin,"Good bye!"And pulls his grenade and throws it at Vaas and shoots his AT4. Vaas looks in horror and finally screams. A huge explosion is then heard.

"Command center, this is Shaojie Zhang, requesting authorization to come home."

Winner: Shaojie Zhang

Expert's Opinoin[]

Shaojie was better trained than Vaas. Shaojie's weapons are also better than Vaas',making him the victor.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Tuco Salamanca (by SPARTAN 119)[]


Vaas looked over his list of rival psychopaths.

"I've already dealt with this Professor Genki... now... let see, there's that Governor fuck!", and then there's those two bitches from Japan, some Yuno Gasai, as if some lovesick teenage bitch could ever be as crazy as me! And then theres that other bitch, Tokisaki, killed over ten thousand people, apparently they call her "Nightmare". I'll show that little bitch a real fucking nightmare!", Vaas said furiously, "But first, this Salamanca, he thinks he can just go selling a better product than me, trying to take over the market from me?! When I find you, I'm going to fucking gut you!"

Main Fight[]

Tuco Salamanca: Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue

Vaas Montenegro: Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred

An unmarked car drove up to the entrance of Tuco Salamanca's base of operations, a two-story building in Albuquerque, where to of Tuco's thugs stood guard. The two windows on the side of the car opened. The barrel of an AK-103 was stuck out the window and fired, a short burst striking one of the guards in the chest multiple times, killing him Blue. Seconds later, Vaas burst out of the side of the car, Desert Eagle in hand, firing two shots, which killed Tuco's second guard Blue.

Tuco heard the commotion outside, and grabbed his M4 carbine off the wall, as two of his thugs grabbed their weapons, one armed with an M4 and one with a Smith and Wesson 686. Tuco and his two guards fired on Vaas and the rest of the pirates as they exited the car. Bullets riddled the body of the vehicle, one 5.56mm round form Tuco's rifle striking a pirate in the head, leaving him dead before he hit the ground Darkred.

A few seconds later, a tracer round impacted the gas tank of the Vaas' vehicle, causing it to explode, killing a pirate the was too close to the car. Darkred Vaas and his two surviving men ran to the door of the building and kicked it open.

A pirate armed with a Kimber Warrior pistol burst in first, as one of Tuco's thugs entered the top of the staircase. Vaas and the other pirates opened fire, cutting down the thug Blue, only for another of Tuco's guards to enter the staircase, firing a long burst from his M4 and cutting down both of Vaas' remaining guards. DarkredDarkred

Vaas, however, was completely unharmed, apart from being knocked backwards by the bodies of his two fallen henchmen. Vaas drew his Kimber Warrior and shot Tuco's guard three times, killing him Blue.

Vaas ascended The staircase and burst into Tuco's "office", only to feel the full weight of another person strike his body and push him against a wall. Tuco then thrust his Bowie knife at Vaas, striking his hand, as he yelled.

"You want to fuck with me, bitch. I'll fucking kill you!", Tuco yelled as he thrust the knife straight through Vaas' hand. Vaas, however, in his psychotic rage, didn't seem to notice. Tuco pulled the knife out and went back for another thursting attack.

Vaas sidestepped the thrust and slammed Tuco's face straight into the wall.

"Has anyone ever told you the definition of insanity?!", Vaas asked as he drew his machete.

"Doing the same shit over and over again, and expecting a different result!", Vaas yelled as he easily deflected a third thrust from Tuco's knife, and then slashed at his neck. The machete blade when straight through the drug lord's head, causing his severed head to land on the floor with a dull thud. Blue

Expert's Opinion[]

While Tuco had marginally better weapons, Vaas took the majority of the important X-factors, most notably combat experience, having fought for years against he Rakyat, and (presumably) rival criminal organizations. This gave Vaas the skills he needed to come out alive when facing a man every bit as insane as himself.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Joker (Nolanverse) (by Cfp3157 and WanderingSkull)[]

This warrior won a Battle of the Month Award
This warrior won a Modern Battle of the Year Award

Prologue: The Calm Before the Storm

The Rook Islands, to any outsider they’d look like a beautiful sight, its lush green jungles, exotic animals of varying colors and shades, the crystal clear waters that would drift towards its golden beaches. It was a truly paradise and jewel in the Pacific Ocean. Or at least it would be if without all of the dangers that wanted to maim or sell you into slavery. And Vaas Montenegro was one such of these men, The self-proclaimed King Of The Rook Islands.

One such man was learning the true nature nature of his situation as he was being chased throughout the jungles. His rushed attempting to the avoid the dogs and pirates giving chase. And snapping his head once the occasional bit of gun fire slammed itself into a nearby tree.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" The man managed to gasp out with tired breathes signifying the fatigue that was overtaking him. As he continued to run, he managed to spot one of the few huts scattered alongside the beach and shouted, "Help! They're trying to kill me! For god's sake somebody fuckin' open the door!"

"Over here!" His eyes opened wide upon seeing one of the nearby huts open their doors, "C'mon! You want to live right?" The man didn't even respond as he ran with whatever was left with his might towards the door, "Thank you, sir. I owe you my life."

The figure appeared in the door way before a small light erupted from his hand launching the man backwards forcing him towards the sand, "I see you don't like letting people finishing their sentences, "if you want to live, then you shouldn't be so trusting of strangers". Hasn't your mother taught you anything?" The figure stood above him and smiled. "Welcome to the Rook Islands. My kingdom and I'm afraid that your trespassing."

The pirates who had been chasing the man previously lined up behind their leader and surrounded the heavily bleeding man, who began coughing up blood. "But now your my guest. I suppose I can offer you a few things. What will it be food, water, a ticket home?"

The man continued to struggle and attempted to crawl away only before a sharp kick landed to his side. The pirates all aimed their guns at the man once more as the dogs growled. "I see your mom clearly has taught you sorry ass nothing. Here I am, offering some hospitality and you go off drag blood over my fuckin' kingdom."

The man flipped himself over looking at the crazed man that stood before him, this was Vaas Montenegro, and clearly from the smile and deranged look in his eyes. He was not in a good mood, if there ever was such a thing for a man filled with such ill intent. "You're fuckin' crazy."

"And there we go with the third strike. With a filthy mouth on a man whose too busy to even listen to the nice men that were chasing him. You know what, I'm done being Mr. Nice Guy." Vaas whistled over the dogs, "You know what to do, boys."

Screams got through the air as the dogs launched themselves upon his corpse, desperately trying to fight back and throwing sand in the face of the beasts. Clenching his hand into a fist which was a few inches from punching the animal before his hand exploded.

Vaas smiled as the man examined his stump and saw the smoking gun in his hand, "Its good to be king."

"Wanna know how I got these scars?"

The gagged, bound, and helpless men shook nervously as the purple-clad madman pulled out a knife. Licking his lips, the man casually popped the switchblade with a threatening click. As he ran a hand through his unkept, tangled hair, he grabbed the chin of one of the hostage and peered into his eyes.

What the man saw in his captor's pupils was an enigma; soulless yet filled with a crazy glow, and pure chaos masked by a calm, steady gaze.

"My brother...was a very naughty boy. Slept around with just anybody. Naturally he makes a few enemies. One of these enemies happens to be the local mob boss. Boss sends in his goons while the two of us are just hanging out."

"I try to stop them, but they pin me to the wall. One of them pulls out a knife, and sticks the blade in my mouth. "Calm down," he says. "We're just gonna talk, that's all. All good things, all good things." I just look at him, and he starts laughing. "What's the matter, buddy? Cat got your tongue?" He asks, and he then starts to...well.."

The man starts to cackle with glee, gesturing to his own face. Cupping his prisoner's face in his palm, he quickly stabs the switchblade into his cheek. Carving a rat's smile into his victim, the Joker straightens up and looks proudly at his handiwork. He then looks at the silent second hostage, who's eyes are a mix of unimaginable terror and an acceptance of a horrible death.

"What's the matter, buddy..." He asks, a sincere frown on his face. "Cat got your tongue?"

"You sure this is the right place?" A gangster asks, a shotgun slung casually over his shoulder. His companion, the helmsman of the boat Joker Gang, nodded.

"Of course I'm sure. You really think I'd risk get somethin' wrong with our boss?" He barked, before triumphantly pointing at the islands up ahead. "Ya see? The Rook Islands, clear as frickin' day!"

The pair grew silent as their boss exited his own personal cabin. His normally scrappy green hair was combed back, and he'd disregarded his heavy purple trench coat, leaving just his green vest and shirt on.

"We're here boys!" The Joker yelled gleefully, swinging his sawed-off Remington over his shoulder. As the boat slowly pulled into the dock, the Joker Gang saw a band of ten or so pirates waiting for them. As his men readied themselves downstairs, the Joker jumped off the boat and onto the deck.

"Let's go make some friends..."

The soft rumble of the jeep as it continued bounced along the rough roads covered in dirt and rocks. Upon reaching the compound, Vaas honked the horn altering the men inside to his presence. Several men rushed over to see their commander and a blanket is the back of the jeep, blotches of blood staining the cotton sheet.

The men inside rushed over and opened the door to the compound allowing for the jeep to enter and closing them once more. Vaas jumped off the vehicle as it slowed and noticed the significantly empty fort before grabbing one of the men meant to greet him.

"Tico, where is everybody?"

"Mr. Vaas, they're off dealing with the rebels. They seem to be getting more restless due to the American boy."

"Ah, Jason. I need to deal with him soon enough, can't have some white boy who thinks he's some fuckin' warrior because a couple of tree fucking rebels are impressed by his shooting." Vaas patted the man on the back, "Thanks for news. But please, get back to doing your job."

Vaas was about to retire to his room as another shout altered him on one of the watch towers. Climbing above, the sniper continued to have his eyes trailed on something as he handed over his commander a pair of binoculars. Scanning the horizon for a few moments before noticing a group of armed men, faces covered in masks, but that wasn't the most striking feature of the group, rather the man leading them was what caught Vaas' eye.

"What do we have here?" Vaas smiled in a sort of insane glee as the group continued their treks through the jungle, slowly moving their way around heading to who knows where. "You seeing this? The crazy looking motherfucker with the suit?"

"I have my eye on him, Vaas. Looks like he could be danger, should I take the shot?"

Vaas began contemplating the course of action in his head as he continued to view the group before lowering the binoculars. The clown looks like he could be dangerous, but am I really going to back out a challenge from someone who comes onto my turf and acts like he owns the place. No, I can't stand for that shit. The motherfucker needs to die screaming.

"Take out one of his men."

The sniper nodded and looked out once more before a pause and he lifted his head up once more, "The group is gone."

"Gone, what the fuck do you mean gone? You were looking at them just a fucking minute ago and now they're gone?"

The sniper nodded slowly and braced himself to face the true extent of his commander's anger when it never came. Instead the man just calmly asked to once again as he was heading towards the ladder and shouting for his men to gear up as they were on the look out for some clown.

Just then, an explosion ripped through the compound and consumed one of the watch towers causing the entire compound to stop what they were doing and rush towards the tower. Several bodies were thrown about area, charred and black when a voice came thundering out from the outside of the compound.

"Honey- I'm home."

The Joker: Purple Blue x9

Vaas: Red Green x9

Vaas unholstered his handgun and fired wildly into the smoke of the charred compound. He roared as his pirates soon joined him, a couple unloading their AK-47's into thin air. As his gun clicked empty, Vaas ordered his men to halt and wait. As everyone reloaded, the Joker Gang immediately stormed the compound through the hole in the wall they'd left.

"Now, that's hardly anyway to greet guests, isn't it?" The Joker yelled, before gleefully firing away with his Glock. Despite missing most of Vaas' men as well, one of his own thugs aimed his M1 Garand rifle and placed two shots into the chest of a close-by pirate. Green He reloaded his clip, only to see a nearby pirate aim his Smith and Wesson at him. He could only swing the rifle in his direction before the pirate shot a quarter-sized hole in his head. Blue

"I want these motherfuckers dealt with! Now!" Vaas screamed, holstering his Kimber and picking up a nearby MP-33. "Guard the drugs, and the guns, and put them in the dirt!" He ordered, gesturing for his men to fall back and secure their goods. The Joker whined, grabbing a Type 69 from his nearest thug.

"C'mon...just a little more play time..." He said, wildly shooting off the warhead and laughing as the recoil sent him back. The rocket veered far right, striking a nearby wall. The shrapnel and heat burned at the shoulder of a fleeing pirate, who crashed into the ground. He threw quickly turned over to spray away with his Agram, hitting a thug in the leg before dying. Green

"Aw, shit." The thug spatted as he went down to grip his leg and tried to return fire with his MAC-10 wildly to the horde of pirates catching the attention of Vaas. Who returned fire with his pistol hitting the man twice in his chest before going limp. Blue

"If you see any pussies like that, men! Put them out of their fucking misery, but leave the clown to me! No one messes with my shit and gets away with it! Not especially pussy ass white boys that think they're tough!" Vaas and his remaining men began fall back, heading deeper into the compound to defend their drug stash. The clowns being hot on their trail only getting interrupted by two men who stuck behind to delay the advance.

"Oh, looks like they left two of their friends behind to keep us busy. Well, let's not delay before we continue onto the main event." Joker gleefully launched himself towards the mayhem and flurry of rounds as his stuck behind and covered their boss. They understood the danger, but no one was brave or stupid enough to stop him as he left both a Remington and Glock and began firing wildly at both men.

"Is this motherfucker stupid?" One of the Pirates shouted to his companion before jumping out of his cover not waiting for a response. Firing in the direction of the man only to see that had vanished, "Where did he go?"

"Peek-a-boo!" As he jumped out of the small shed he hid behind and destroyed the pirates chest with a shotgun blast causing him to fly back. The other pirate turning his AK-103 in response to the Joker, only to be hit twice in the chest. He crumbled on the ground in pain, but tried dragging himself to the dropped rifle as he heard the man neared and the maniacally laughing booming against his ears. Green

"Now, now. Is that how you welcome your guests? By trying to end their fun before I've had my fill?" Joker's foot landed on the rifle before picking it up, "You see that just won't do." As the rest of the Joker's men came up behind him and aimed their weapons at the downed man. "You know what to do, boys."

A chorus of bullets emptied from their firearms before they continued onward. And onto the the huts and compound where Vaas and his remaining men went off to hide. Leaving the massacred bodies of the two pirates behind. Green

The Joker's victory was short-lived, as some of Vaas' other goons reemerged prepared to repel the attackers. One held an RPG-7, and sent the warhead towards the clowns. The blast veered off target at the last minute, missing the Joker but vaporizing the goon directly hit. Blue

"Get down, boss. We'll handle it!" A thug warned, gesturing for him to head off to a nearby shack. As the Joker and his bodyguard rushed inside for cover, they were met by two more pirates. Joker raised his Glock, emptying the magazine into a charging pirate. Green

His own thug quickly tried to swing the stock of his shotgun at his attacker, but missed. The pirate dodged underneath the attack, then thrust his KA-BAR deep into his stomach. As the clown struggled for breath, the pirate finished him off by thrusting it up into his chin. Blue

The Joker quickly drew his Extractor switchblade as the pirate prepared for another assault. As the battle raged on further outside the shack, the Joker smiled.

"This...this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt me."

"Bring it, clown." The Pirate thrusted the KA-bar forward which was sidestepped and a fist connecting with his fast causing the Pirate to stumble back and knocked away his glasses. 

"Now, now. There's no need to call people names." Joker dodged another slash as he returned one of his own leaving a small cut on the Pirate's cheeks, exposing the flesh below and a trail of blood to begin leaking out. The Pirate roared in fury as he finally landed a hit on the Joker's chest, tearing past his shirt and leaving the cut. 

And with a chuckle, Joker pushed the man away and delivered a kick to the man's groin, "See, that wasn't very nice of me. But you didn't exactly respect me either. But just for fun, I'm going to give you a free chance to kill me. Come on, it'll be fun."

The Pirate hopped to his feet and launched at the man aiming for the heart, only to feel his hand blocked as Joker blocked the strike just short of his heart. Moving his switchblade, Joker thrusted the tool under the man's armpit, causing a scream and his knife to drop. Soon enough his screams were silenced as a hand covered his mouth and the knife was thrusted underneath his chin. The Joker looking into the man's eyes as the life drain from them. Green

The remaining clowns had continued to push towards the warehouse were Vaas and his remaining pirates had holed up, determined to make a stand and more importantly to defend their powerful grip on the islands. Loading up, the next RPG and lifting it over his shoulder, Vaas noticed two clowns hiding out in shed and beginning to steal weapons. 

His blood boiled as he saw those men with their greedy hands, arrogant laughs and cheap ass suits touched his stuff and tainted his kingdom, it just wouldn't do. "Adios, bozos." As the rocket soared through the air and ripped the shed apart launching bits of woods and shards of steel which in addition to leaving the horribly disfigured and blackened corpses of the clowns had enough force to launch one of the nearing goons into a cage that broke and impaled the man onto a spike. Leaving dangling for several moments before he went limp. Blue Blue Blue

"And that is what happens if you fuck with me, boys." Vaas smiled as he tossed aside the RPG-7 seeing no remaining warheads in the vicinity. Picking up the shotgun leaning on the building and pumping back the mechanism to ensure it was loaded. "Now then, why don't we show the door to the rest of our unwanted guests."

The two pirates nodded their heads and lifted a Agram and AK-103 respectively as they began to establish a small firing line towards the main entrance of the building. The air seemed to remain still for a moment as the wait began to end the invaders and protect what was rightfully theirs.

The Joker casually walked behind his men as they began the final assault, shotgun in hand. He heard a vicious roar as Vaas' fourth pirate, who'd been waiting to ambush the clowns, charged him with a machete. The Clown Prince of Crime swung his Remington in response, blasting apart his foe's kneecap. As the pirate fell, the Joker shoved the barrel of the shotgun into his face.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got business with your boss. Excuse me." He taunted, before pulling the trigger. Green

As he glanced over to the warehouse, he saw one of his men's face shatter as a pirate shot a flurry of rifle rounds into his head. Blue "I swear, if want anything done..." He muttered, walking over to a side entrance of the warehouse.

The last Joker thug joined with his boss, clutching a rifle. "Boss, how're we gonna-" The thug was interupted as Joker blasted the lock of the entrance. He pumped the mechanism again, before shoving his way in.

As the very surprised Vaas and his crew tried to reassess the surprise attack, the Joker blasted a hole in the chest of a pirate while his henchmen placed a round in the other's neck. Green Green

Vaas pumped the action of his own shotgun, and aimed his last round. Reacting quickly, the Joker grabbed his own thug to protect him. Vaas made a solid hit, filling the thug with lead. Blue

Left alone, the Joker upholstered his Glock and abandoned the human shield for cover, as Vaas drew his own Kimber.

"Guess it's just you and me now." He laughed, causing Vaas to explode.

"I'M A KILL YOU FOR KILLING MY MEN, CLOWN!" He yelled back, firing at the Joker's cover.

"I think you like to forget that all we wanted was the drugs and guns. You and your men just happened to be collateral damage." The Joker responded and fired his Glock in kind. Sparks bursting from the cover as Vaas ran to avoid the hail of gunfire.

Vaas continued to return fire from his Kimber as he ran once stopping once as the Joker's Glock ran dry and allowing him to hit the clown's shoulder. The round ripping straight through and out the back causing a momentary stumble from the Joker as he finished reload.

"You shouldn't be wearing those fancy fuckin' clothes if you want to get down in the jungle. You won't have to worry soon enough though, when I'm through with you, the last thing on your mind will be a shitty purple jacket." Vaas spat out as fired two more times before running empty.

As he begun reloading, the warlord stopped as he heard the clown chuckle, getting louder and louder as the moments passed. Vaas' blood had begun to boil, 'ARE YOU LAUGHING ME, YOU SON OF BITCH!? ME! VAAS MONTENEGRO THE FUCKIN' KING OF THIS ISLAND?! WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY?"

Joker popped out his cover holding his switchblade and lifted both his arms up, "You're just so serious. Its just funny to watch you scream and shout. You have all this power and no time for fun, now that...," a huge grin formed across the man's face through the chuckles, "its just sad."

Vaas screamed and charged the man and tackled him onto a mound of drugs, knocking over mixed bags of cocaine, LSD, marijuana. Bits of the powder launching all over the floor as Vaas pulled out his machete intent on massacring the man. Only to few inches away his head as the Joker moved away and cut Vaas' side leaving a trail of blood that melted in with the white powder.

Flipping over his knife, Joker went for a stab only to feel the air escape from his body as Vaas returned his attack with a elbow to the gut before jumping up and attempting to deliver a blow across his chest, only to miss in his haste. His eyes staring the Joker with utter hatred as he tightened his grip on the machete. 

Both men began to circle each other tempting the other to make a move before Vaas charged once more and the clown prince once again dodged the attack and ended up behind the man and slashing once more, leaving a cut on his back. Vaas' machete trapped itself onto a large crate, leaving the weapon stuck and the warlord open for a new flurry of cuts, each more deeper and painful than the other. 

Vaas screamed as he ripped the machete out of the crate and spun himself around to deliver a slash across the Joker's chest, leaving a deep gash that began dripping blood. The Joker managed to dodge the second slash with a mere twirl and jumped back, giving the two distance once more.

"You going to keep laughing, funny man?" Vaas asked as he launched into another attack forcing the Joker on the defensive. "Because its only going to be going worse from here, you fuck!" And with a downward chop in his rage, aiming for the clown's face, a a look of pure sick pleasure caused the warlord to break out in grin as the machete made contact with flesh.

Once more a laugh broke out. Vaas stared his face still breaking out in a smile as he examined his machete, not embedded within the clown's head, but rather deep into the man's arm, the only thing having stopped the weapon from going straight through was the bone. The sickening crack of the bone was audible as Vaas found himself face to face with the clown prince.

"Now there's a big boy smile." The Joker grin only widened as he got closer to Vaas' face. Resting one of his hands on his face, "You know what they say about happy people?" Vaas felt his blood boil once more as bloody gloved hand held his face as if he was some sort of child, "They tend to live longer and sorry to upset you, but I've been alot happier than you."

And with that, the Joker dropped his switchblade into his other hand and stabbed Vaas' in the chest. In that moment of pain, the Joker wasted no time as he used his weight and began to run towards the sheet metal wall. Within seconds the the slam ripped through the warehouse as the knife sunk deeper into the warlord's chest.

Vaas' struggled for a few moments before his movements weakened as the Joker pulled out the switchblade and raised it to his face, "Since you aren't going to be alive much longer, how about a bed time story? So how about, you want to know how I got these scars?"

"How about I tell you one?" Vaas started as he ripped the machete still stuck in the Joker's arm and allowed the weapon to go clean straight through Joker's chest. "Have you ever heard the definition of insanity?"

The machete ripped out of the man's chest only to go in once more, The Joker's grip on Vaas' loosened as started up once more, "Its doing the same thing over and over and expecting shit to change. "Now. That. Is. Crazy." The Joker had let go of the warlord before a boot connected with him launching his form across the floor. The clown still having a bit of fight in him began to slowly lift himself up as Vaas neared once more.

"The first time someone told me that I thought they were shittin' me, so boom." Vaas motioned towards his head his hand making the shape of pistol. "The thing is he was right. I began to see all these crazy motherfuckers try to always fight me, resist my hold on this kingdom and just like that man they died. It happened over and over again."

The Joker took a swing once more, only for it to be more slowed as Vaas' deflected it and punched the man. "You won't kill me, Mr. Joker. Because you keep doing the same over and over and over again. And that's where our story ends."

Vaas had made his way out of the warehouse clutching his wound as a group of Pirates had arrived on the scene. They saw their leader, bloodied and bodies scattered around the complex.

"Vaas, what happened here?" one of them dared to ask.

"Just had a couple of friends over." The warlord smiled as he continued to walk towards the group, "Say, do any of you know how to give stiches?"

Winner: Vaas Montenegro

Expert's Opinoin[]

While the Joker's insanely ingenius plans made him a dangerous mental foe, he found a match in the equally insane and brutal Vaas. Without one of his greatest strengths, Joker was easily put down by the superior hardware of Vaas and his pirates.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

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Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.

Battle vs. Professor Genki (by Geekboy27)[]

The setting is the Rook Islands, a place of war, crime, and all types of crazy other stuff. One of the people responsible for most of the crime on these islands is Vaas Montenegro. He runs most of the drug traficing, and slave traficing, he is truly a very dangerous foe. But, one day, something came to his island to challenge his authority.

Vaas sat down in the sand, next to him, was the head of Jason Brody. After Jasons fateful battle with Frank West, he was killed, Vaas found Jason's corpse and removed his head to show to Hoyt and take credit for Frank's kill. Suddenly, a VTOL broke through the sky, and began to land on the bloodied beaches. Vaas stood up to see who or WHAT the thing was. Genki hopped out of his VTOL, his doctors coat flaping in the wind. He looks at Vaas with the grin on his cat suit being the thing Vaas notices most out of Genki. "Who the hell are you?" Asks Vaas

Genki responds "I am the Mad Murder Cat! This island is the perfect place for my Super Ethical Reality Climax!"

"Listen uh "Murder Cat" this here, is my island, and if you want it you will have to learn how to suck dick, or leave. It's your choice"

Genki pays no attention and pulls out his Kruov and begins to open fire on Vaas. Vaas pulls out his AK-47 and returns fire. He hits Genki a few times, but Genki only appears to shrug off the bullets. Genki hits vaas several times in the gut, but Vaas does not fall. Genki realises he is out of ammo and ditches his Kurov for his TEK. Vaas decides to use his AGRAM 2000 and opens fire on Genki.

Genki is hit many times in his chest, but this is not enough to kill the cat, Genki fires back with his TEK which almost hits Vaas, but he retreats in the jungle and Genki follows.

Vaas stops for a second to taunt Genki. "So! A pussy has come to fuck with me! In my own house! COME OUT GENKI!"

Suddenly, several bullets rip through the trees hitting Vaas. He kneels on the ground. He chews a bullet out from his arm and spits it out. Vaas uses his RPG to clear the trees. The RPG is fired which blows several trees away. Genki fires his Annilator which makes a large crater. Vaas fires a shot which sends Genki flying into a tree. Genki loses his Annilator and uses his 45. Shepeard, while Vaas ditches the RPG and uses his Desert Eagle.

Genki has the upper hand as the Shepeard fires farther than the Desert Eagle. Several rounds hit Vaas. Genki gets close and decides to end Vaas, and he pulls out the Penentrator. Vaas pulls out his Machete and limps at Genki. Genki smacks Vaas in the face with the Penentrator, which only angers Vaas. Vaas retaliates with his Machete. He stabs Genki multiple times and slashes off an arm. Genki slumps over.

Genki wakes up on the beach, buried neckdeep. He sees a shadow which happens to be Vaas sitting behind him. "You know, you were tough" Vaas complimented

"Did better than any of this fucking rebels on these damn islands."

Vaas chuckles, but quickly changes mood and begins to tell Genki his plan"

"You won't be the first to fall to me. You know there are far worse than you."

Suddenly, a list of people and pictures of them fall infront of Genki.

"Lets see there is this Govenor puss who owns this little town called uh Woodbury. He doesn't seem like a challlenge at all."

He looks at the next one

"This Joker fuck. Some say he is the craziest mother fucker alive, some say he is worse than me."

"I can go on all day Genki! All crazy people on this list! And I will kill all of them! But why not start with you?"

Vaas pulls out his pistol, puts in the Genki's head and pulls the trigger."

Winner: Vaas

Expert's Opinion[]

Vaas won due to his superior weaponry and experience brought to the battlefield.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.


The match was declared invalid due to giving Genki weapons he had never used.