Isaac Washington vs Black Dynamite.png

Hold onto to your hats ladies and gentlemen because today we're taking it to the man with the funkiest battle this wiki has ever seen. We've got two of the coolest cats in the game facing off in a showdown brought to you straight from the hood where only the baddest motherfuckers can make it big; 

Black Dynamite: The smoothest and most badass vigilante, who is cleaning up the streets and taking it to the man.

vs

Isaac Washington: The foul mouthed detective, out the avenge the death of his father at the hands of Papa Caesar.

Who is deadliest

Black Dynamite

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DY-NO-MITE, DY-NO-MITE!
— Black Dynamite's Theme Tune.

Black Dynamite is the smoothest, baddest cat on the street. He’s also a former C.I.A. agent out to avenge his brother’s death. Whether he’s taking down drug dealers or sweet-talking foxy mommas, he’s the man on the streets out to stop The Man. In addition to being a former C.I.A. agent, Black Dynamite was also a veteran of the Vietnam War, as well as taking care of a Whorephanage, which consists of Whores and Orphans living under one roof. 

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Smith & Wesson Model 29 Range: 50 Metres Muzzle Velocity: 632 m/s Ammo: 6 Rounds

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M3-A1 Range: 90 Metres Ammo: 30 Rounds Weight: 7 lbs Rate of Fire: 450 RPM

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Colt AR-15A2 Weight: 8 lbs Rate of Fire: 700-950 RPM Range: 500 metres Ammo: 30 rounds Muzzle Velocity: 948 m/s

Cobray CM79LF Launcher.jpg
Cobray 37mm Grenade Launcher Range: 400 metres Rate of Fire: 6 RPM Explosive Round

Isaac Washington

Isaac Washington.jpg

I'm gonna rip your motherfucking balls off.
— Isaac Washington

Isaac Washington is the foul mouthed detective out to avenge the murder of his father at the hands of Papa Caesar. He is extremely rude, foul-mouthed, and trigger-happy, punching a government agent within seconds of meeting him, and loves the "f-bomb" expletive, using it practically for every other word. He often threatens people with ripping their balls/dick off, even if they have a lack of it. His pride is his (short-lived) car and in his music.

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Desert Eagle Range: 50 Metres Muzzle Velocity: 420 m/s Ammo: 6 Rounds

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Steyr TMP Range: 100 Metres Ammo: 30 rounds Weight: 3 lbs Rate of Fire: 850-900 RPM

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Heckler & Koch XM8 Weight: 7.5 lbs Rate of Fire: 750 RPM Range: 500 metres Ammo: 30 rounds Muzzle Velocity: 900 m/s

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SPAZ-12 Range: 40 Metres Ammo: 6 rounds Round: 12 Gauge

X Factors

Training: Dynamite=85/Washington=80

Black Dynamite has served in the US Army and in the CIA as well as having trained in Kung Fu, giving him a wide variety of training in different skill areas. Washington has only really received police training which is nowhere near as extensive or varied as what Dynamite brings to the table.

Organisational Ability: Dynamite=75/Washington=68

Neither of these guys are really known for their tactical awareness, most of the time they just sort of walk into a place and start shooting. However Dynamite has been shown to formulate a plan and organise his troops well as showcased during his war on drugs and attack on Kung Fu Island. Washington is much more impulsive and only really shows a level of planning when fighting Boss mutants, where he has to hit a particular area to do damage.

Experience: Dynamite=88/Washington=86

As previously mentioned Dynamite has served in the CIA and the US Army and has seen combat in Vietnam as well as his battles against the various thugs and gangsters in the Hood. Washington has also seen a fair bit of combat both against criminals and the various mutants he comes across in his search for revenge. What gives Black Dynamite the edge though is the fact that most of Washington's combat is against the Undead who don't have nearly the same ability as fully functioning humans.

Quality of Troops: Dynamite=72/Washington=80

Both of these guys will be joined by their respective comrades; For Black Dynamite his Crew and for Isaac Washington the Police Force. Dynamite's crew is made up mostly of his fellow pimps with a few members of the Black Panthers and who for the most part have very little training and almost no experience out of fighting against criminals in the hood. The police officers Washington brings have more experience and better training due to their line of work and are used to going up against the exact people Dynamite is bringing to the battle.

Voting System/Notes 

This will be a 5 on 5.

The Battle will take place in the neighbourhood where Black Dynamite and his Crew lives. Isaac Washington and his team of Officers have been sent to arrest Black Dynamite for his various crimes.

In order to be counted in full, votes must be at least 5 lines long or have been done in an edges format.

Anything less than 5 lines but which is competently argued and thought out will be counted as a half vote. I will inform anybody if their vote is considered a half vote and allow them to amend it to bring it up to a full point.

Irrelevant votes will not be counted at all.

I reserve the right to award a vote as half or discount it entirely for reason not mentioned here if I feel it is applicable.

Battle 

Black Dynamite: Black2.PNGBlack2.PNGBlack2.PNGBlack2.PNGBlack2.PNG

Isaac Washington: Brown.pngBrown.pngBrown.pngBrown.pngBrown.png

It’s a quiet day in the hood; the coolest cats are chillin’ in their pads with their hottest baby mamas and the kids are playing in the street, enjoying the hot summer days. This serenity is quickly broken as a pair of cars drifts into the neighbourhood and the children watch with interest as a small group of people exit from the cars. However they soon scatter as they spot the cop badges worn around necks or attached to clothing and the men start taking weapons out of the boot of one of the cars. Supervising this mission is Detective Isaac Washington and his usual potty mouth is silent as he watches with scrutiny as weapons are loaded and handed out. He is already armed with his pistols holstered under his armpits and a shotgun slung over his shoulder but he waits patiently until every police officer is armed. “Is everybody fucking ready?” he asks and gets curt nods all-round. “Okay then. Today gentlemen we’re here to take down some motherfucker who calls himself Black Dynamite. Now I don’t need to tell you that this is some serious shit and you can see by the firepower that we’re rocking. I also don’t need to tell you that this ain’t no fucking tickle party and we have the authority to use lethal force to take down this son of a bitch and anyone who stands with him. This is some fucking CIA authorised shit we’re getting ourselves into and we ain’t playing by no motherfucking rules. Does everybody understand?” Once again he gets agreements all-round. He pumps his shotgun and strides over to Black Dynamite’s house, the other officers in tow.


“This is some tight malt liquor you’ve got here Bullhorn” Black Dynamite says taking a sip.

He is relaxing in his pad with Bullhorn, Cream Corn and a couple of black militants on the roasting Sunday afternoon.


“Only the best for my brothers in arms, don’t be afraid to drink up it won’t do you no harm,” Bullhorn responds and the other men take a long sip in agreement.


“It’s nice to take a little time away from all the crazy shenanigans in the hood and just get together with some of my closest homies and drink some of this fine ass malt liquor,” Black Dynamite continues. As he’s about to take another sip he spots movement outside his window and shouts a warning just as the door is kicked in a men with guns come bursting in and open fire on the small group. Black Dynamite, Bullhorn and Cream Corn dive behind cover while the two militants draw their revolvers and begin to fire back as the intruders take cover themselves. Black Dynamite catches a glimmer of police badges before checking around and sees the door to the kitchen is just a few feet away. He taps Bullhorn on the shoulder and points and the two dash over as the bullets fly over their heads. There’s a short lull as they reload and this gives Cream Corn the chance to follow them, leaving the two Militants to face the police officers by themselves and it’s not long before they are gunned down in a hail of bullets. Black2.PNGBlack2.PNG



“Who the hell are those cats Black Dynamite” Cream Corn asks as the trio head towards Black Dynamite’s armoury in the garden. “I don’t know Cream Corn, but they were all wearing police badges,”

“Police Badges? What sort of pigs carry automatic weaponry,”

“I don’t know brother but something tells me they ain’t here with an arrest warrant.” They reach a shed in at the far end of the garden and Black Dynamite busts down the door with a kick. Bullhorn and Cream Corn grab the first weapons they can find; Bullhorn grabbing AR-15 and Cream Corn selecting a sub machine gun. Black Dynamite scours further into the armour to find his trusty Smith and Wesson and grabs a Colt of his own. Slinging the gun strap over his shoulder he picks up the Grenade Launcher off of the wall and attaches it to his AR-15. The three men step out of the armoury just as Washington as his men finish searching the house. Black Dynamite looks down the sights and fires off a grenade. The policemen dive out of the way but one is caught in the blast and torn apart by the shrapnel Brown.png.


“Motherfucker” Washington shouts and the intensity of the fire increases. Black Dynamite and his crew are pinned down, with little cover on their end they are forced to hide behind trees and the bullets whistle dangerously close to their position and the cops are safely hidden inside of Black Dynamite’s house, with Washington outside and crouched behind a fence. Black Dynamite peeks out from behind his cover and spots one of the policemen reloading, his head just peeking out from underneath the windowsill. He waits for the man to finish and rise before leaping out and firing off several rounds from his AR-15 which drops the man neatly with several shots to the torso Brown.png. Black Dynamite drops and rolls behind the same tree that Cream Corn is behind and the two men exchange worried glances. “We’re not going to last much longer if we stay here,” Cream Corn says spraying his gun blindly.


“Damn straight. We need to get somewhere with a bit more cover or else we’re going to end up like some of that fancy ass Swiss cheese,” Black Dynamite says. “Where the hell is Bullhorn?”

“I’m hidden behind this flowery bush,” a voice from behind says “I’ve got barely any cover so we’d better rush.”

Black Dynamite turns his head and sees Bullhorn peering through the bush. “Alright. We’re going to wait until those pigs have finished shooting and then we’re going to make a dash for that fence over there.” Black Dynamite points to a fence a couple of metres away. “We gonna jump over that fence and head over to the alleyway right around the back. That should give us the chance to set up an ambush or at the least get to a place where we have some decent cover.” Cream Corn and Bullhorn nod in agreement and the trio wait patiently until Washington and the other cops guns go silent. “Now you crazy cats” he shouts and the three of them burst out from their respective covers. Bullhorn is the closest and vaults over the fence first, followed quickly by Black Dynamite. Cream Corn puts his hands on the fence and pulls himself up but before he can slip over to the other side he is struck by a shotgun pellet. He drops over the other side of the fence and Washington lowers his Shotgun, cursing. Black Dynamite and Bullhorn rush to Cream Corn’s side as he clutches his chest in agony.

“You have to go on without me” he gasps and passes his gun onto Bullhorn who looks solemnly as his Cream Corn breathes his last breath. Black2.PNG


“CREAM CORN” he shouts in anguish and Black Dynamite also dips his head in respect for his fallen comrade.


“This is a sad day for all the righteous brothers out there Bullhorn, but we have to respect his sacrifice and kill these jive ass turkeys.” Bullhorn nods his head in approval and the two leave Cream Corn’s body and head towards the alleyway.


A few minutes later, Isaac Washington and the two remaining cops jump over the fence, having checked vigorously to make sure nobody is waiting on the other side. One of them goes over to Cream Corn’s body and checks for a pulse, nodding to Washington as he doesn’t feel anything. They continue on and find themselves in an alleyway in between two short buildings with a dead end. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this place” Washington says and as he does he catches something out of the corner of his eye. He swivels round and empties his shotgun at the movement but sees that it is only a loose tile. “Fucking Tile” he shouts in anger and reaches for more ammo but finds his pocket empty. “Motherfuck” he shouts again and throws the shotgun on the ground in anger.

“I know you pigs killed Cream Corn” a voice calls out and the men all raise their weapons, but they can’t pinpoint the direction of it. “But now it’s time to face the wrath of Bullhorn!” Bullhorn jumps out from a doorway and sprays bullets from the M3-A1 at the cops. One of them pushes Washington out of the way and takes the full spray, his body juddering as more and more bullets are pumped into himBrown.png. Washington responds by drawing his Desert Eagles from their shoulder holsters and returns the favour by pumping Bullhorn full of cold hard lead. Black2.PNG



Black Dynamite watches from the roof as his closest friend is gunned down, having to physically hold himself back from letting out a cry of anger. He watches as the cop lower his pistols and gesture to the body and another cop checks the body for a pulse. “Where the fuck did that black son of a bitch go” says the shooter and the other cop walks towards him and shrugs. Sensing an opportunity, Black Dynamite sneaks to the edge of the roof and judges the distance before leaping from the roof. He waits until he is just above the two men before kicking his legs out either side of him in a splits motion with a cry of SUEY! The right leg knocks the handguns out of Washington’s hands and sends them skidding away under a nearby dumpster and the left hits the other cop square in the jaw and sends him stumbling. He lands gracefully and his eyes flicker between both opponents before deciding to go for the one who is armed. He leaves Washington to reach around under the dumpster for his guns and storms over to the cop who has recovered from the blow. “SUEY” he shouts again as he punches him across the jaw and takes out his nunchuck with the spare hand. He twirls it around threateningly and whacks the cop on the temple with it then swings it around and wraps it on his knuckles to make him drop his rifle. He then draws his Smith and Wesson and shoots the guy four times in the chest. Brown.png

He turns back to Washington just as several bullets fly past him and he steadies himself as the misses almost knock him off balance. Washington aiming is way off in his frustration and Black Dynamite has time to properly aim his own gun and shoots Washington’s hand. “Fuck” he shouts and drops his guns, using his spare hand to grasp onto his injured one. Black Dynamite strolls over to him and drops him with a kick to the stomach. He then stamps his foot down on his chest and points the Smith and Wesson right at his head.

“Now normally I don’t like to kill a brother, we have enough to worry about fighting against The Man without having to fight amongst each other. But I cannot forgive you for killing my main men Bullhorn and Cream Corn, no matter what. Now do you have any last words you jive motherfucker” Washington looks up at him with anger and says

“Fuck you, Motherfucker.” Black Dynamite shrugs and shoots him between the eyes with his last bullet Brown.png. Black Dynamite show his respect to Bullhorn before strutting out of the alleyway as “DY-NO-MITE, DY-NO-MITE!” plays behind him.

Winner: Black Dynamite 

Final Verdict

While Washington has the superior arsenal and better trained troops the voters agreed that Black Dynamite was the superior all around warrior due to his army and CIA training. While his teammates were pretty easy picking for Washington's police officers, Black Dynamite himself was a whole different picture and was a literal one man army that Isaac Washington just couldn't handle. 

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