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KAcademy

After numerous delays, the academy is closely marching towards its finished form. Numerous deziens from around the city are to be catered to by our fine assortment of teachers and facilities here at DFederal University. But with cutting corners comes complications. Rumors of spatial irregularities come as an escaped convict of seeks to destroy the academy is his war against the leadership of our fine metropolis. Little does he know, he has invited something much more severe and disgusting to the grounds that even he may handle.

Intro[]

TBA

The Combatants[]


Name: Putin in the House

Heh

Bio: In far away place of United States of Russia, was born and lived a legend. A legend that echoes in the hearts and minds of all great citizens young and old, men and women, poor and slightly poor. His name was none other than Putin in the House, the Cорок Cедьмой-th president, former Hollywood star, KGB bear wrestler and murderous sex machine.

Putin in the House came from very humble beginnings. His father was a cowboy rancher/steppe shepherd and his mother, of unknown name, died while he was still in in her dreams. When his mother was dying, the great Putin in the House, hungry for powe... ermmmm helping other people... forced his way out of his mother's dreams and into the world through his sheer power and compassion. His father, a simple man, just looked at him eye widened and dumbfounded... before finally smiling and saying "BLYATIFUL!!!"

In just a span of 2 years of birthing years Putin in the House became a worlwide sensation. He was very famous in his high school and girls would go to him like hungry gulag prisoners hunting European turnips. He later graduated over 70 bachelor's degrees in Americussian colleges, joined the KGB becoming master spy, before finally becoming president all the while still banging like a boss. All the hopeful and free Amerucissians citizens look up him as he ascended the White House throne while saying to him, "BLYATIFUL!!!"

As President he went on to hunt for oil and bears for his native land. He conquered the evil fascist Antartican Empire in the South Pole, fought the LARGEST BEAR KNOWN TO MAN, became richest person in galaxy, married Amanda Seyfriend and Channing Tatum at same time, fought illegal aliens from outer space with galactic wall, promoted the liberal progressive groups like Anti-gun flower arrangement Club, and helped a certain do-not-name meme man into becoming a President of another inferior country.

And he did this as the world watched and said in admiration, "BLYATIFUL!!!"

Description: A very handsome man with Godlike macho physique that rivals even Hercules himself. His eyes have been desrcibed as a combination of the sparkle of a blood blue diamond that can heal the sick. He is perfect man in every way. (On a serious note, he's just a Russian man in the body of a young African-American young adult)

Badass Level: BLYATIFUL!!!

Age: IMMORTAL!!! He always lives in our hearts!

Weapons: Close: Sambo

  • Putin in the House is traiend in the great art of Russian Sambo and Seagal Aikido. He can absically take down a bear with only his fists.

Mid: KGB pistol

  • Makarov pistol with suppressor that has been covered with the blood of many patriotic Brown Bears who's spirit also reside in it. Whoever holds this gun becomes berserk, doubling strength and speed but making user crazy and rabid.

Long: Liberal-Approved Love Rifle

  • A semi-automatic rifle that fires Liberal tears at a range of over 800 yards. It is equipped with well-designed Americussian scope with 3x magnification, and a suppressor. Liberal tears are stored inside hollow bullets that pierces skin and explodes inside. Nobody knows the effects of it since no one ever survives to tell the tale, but it can be assumed that it functions similar to that of toxic corrosive acid.

Special: Abrams T-40 Tank

  • Like a boss, Putin in the House ride around in a classy tank that has a very large canon gun, very thick armor and very fast speed. Its canon is powerful enough to blow through the Great Wall of China, fast enough to outrun a Ducati, and badass enough to steal your wife and make you feel inferior.

Iconic: WHITE HOUSE

  • By using his HANDS OF GOD Putin in the House can lift the immortal and indestructable White House and slam it right at opponent's head for one badass explosive finale. Has 10 cooldown.

Armor: Bear skin and Jojo Muscle

  • Putin in the House is a big fan of Jojo Bizarre Adventure. Hence he worked so hard to capture Joseph Joestar's wonderful and flawless body. It is highly resistant (but not overall immune) to high-caliber rounds and other physical and energy attacks but weak against magical attacks. It can also be damaged by girly hugs, toxic insults from cancerous flame warriors, and cringey video submissions of tik tok users. Bear skin on the other hand just makes him look cool.

Abilities: PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES OF RUSSIA!!!

He has a very unique skill that when he smells, touches or even sees oil grants him temporary ability to fly into the air, spread radiation, walk on water and heal injuries and sicknesses. And that means every drop of oil there is, from a small spill of gasoline to even the oil in your face.

Weaknesses: Again, his armor can be damaged by girly hugs, toxic insults from cancerous flame warriors, and cringey video submissions of tik tok users.

Favorite Food: The blood of his enemies, Russian turnip and American apple pie.

Favorite Song: Baam Baam by Momoland (helps him get through this violent world)

Favorite Actress: Smokey Bear (cuz he's a bear)

Ningen

Name: Ningen

Background: Long ago in a distant land, I, Dargoo, the wiki-shifting master of Deadliest Fiction, unleashed an unspeakable hiatus. But a foolish shitposting user, weilding a cringey tournament, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore a hole open into the future, where my memes are law.

Jumping out of said hole was Ningen, what looks like a tadpole that grew two stronk legs and began a trek across the Antartic wasteland, spreading feelings of "What the hell am I looking at" wherever it went. It waddled about, unaware of its true purpose, to win a tournament against other cringey original characters through it's sheer power of uncomfort.

  • Description: Ripped off some barely-known Japanese cryptid. Instead of explaining what people actually thinks it looks like, I'm calling it a tadpol with the beak of a bird, the skin of a lamprey, the legs of famous actor Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and the combined intelligence of every anon that has ever posted on the entire wiki
  • Badass Level: -1 (Exists as a pure shitpost)
  • Age: Since I posted this comment
  • Sex: I'm not looking inbetween those legs, man
  • Favorite Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mSZn9UKXTk
  • Favorite Food: Dargoo's wiki activity on Deadliest Fiction (Note: The true reason why it's been reduced to a head and legs)
  • Weapons: Ningen brings the best of every ranged form of weapon ever conceived.
    • Close: L E G (Ningen uses its thicc legs to make a downwards thrusting attack)
    • Mid: Hidden Frog Tongue (What's behind that mouth? Nigen opens its jaws at a ninety-degree angle, shooting out a tongue several meters in length. It adheres to what it attacks, and leaves behind a sticky, but non-lethal residue)
    • Long: L E G MK II: U N L I M I T E D L E G W O R K S: Ningen manifests copies of its legs and fires them as projectiles at is opponent, moving at speeds comparable to bullets. However, this attack requires the creature to study its own legs, which takes a minute of self contemplation and realising the futility of life and the universe)
    • Special: P r o t t e c a n A t t a c (Ningen detaches its two legs, sending them flying towards an opponent. If the legs land, they cause whatever limb they strike to be swapped in the aproproate spot on Ningen's body. For example, the right leg landing a heatshot would cause the character's head to be repositioned to Ningen's right leg stump, while the person would now have a large, weird-ass leg on its head)
    • Iconic: Weakness to Cringe: Ningen is deadly allergic to actions that would cause a regular person to cringe in a five-meter radius around it. It will weaken and eventually pass out within several dozen seconds if the cring-worthy act persists.
    • Armor: Slime Mold (Ningen is covered in a layer of slime that coats its entire body, allowing it to adhere to surfaces such as ice without slipping. It can protect it from fire and ice-based attacks)
  • Abilities:
    • Ningen Traits: Can breathe in water, survive the freezing temperatures of the Antarctic, and has the ability to regenerate its legs if injured or torn off.
    • Speed Equalization: Forces a single opponent's speed, reflexes, and reaction timing to be lowered to Ningen's, which is about the same as a human. This includes ranged attacks such as bullets and arrows, which would move at the average running speed of a human being.
    • Hiatus: Opens up a portal, letting itself sleep in safety as long as it isn't being targeted by an enemy at the moment. Only lasts for minutes as feelings of self-responsibility and guilt fill it.

Name: Tiger Master Ken
Favorite song: Broken Dreams by Shaman's Harvest
Favorite food: Meat. Any type of meat.

Bio: The product of an experiment to turn a human into a hybrid, Ken took to it like a duck to water. He was already strong as it was and believes might means right. So he is always right, as he is the strongest there is. His new tiger DNA just made all this much easier. His training as a special ops soldier helps.

If he finds someone who he hates for even LOOKING at him funny, he's killing them. Soooo...best avoid the claws.

Description: He more or less looks like a tiger and human crossed. Tiger stripes on his arms, claws, his hair is like that of a tiger and his eyes became like that of a cats. So he can see better in the dark.

Short: His own hands, claws and wrestling moves.
Ken's best trait, given the years of training he put in to be a champion. Most of his signature moves were stolen from wrestlers like John Cena, The Undertaker, and Aleister Black, just to name a few. His hands are strong enough where bricks are shattered with ease and he broke necks on accident. His claws make gutting an enemy easier and easier, as they are sharp enough to render steel worthless.

Mid: Double Barrelled Shotgun
For when he doesn't feel like killing with his hands. He comes equipped with as many round types as there are, and all of them are 12 gauge. Dragon's Breath Slugs, Buckshot, whatever kills his targets.

Long:

Special: Grenades
A fuck ton of grenades he keeps in his pack. No one knows how he keeps all of them on his person.

Iconic: Tiger Cannon
Relying on the power of the Tiger spirit inside of him. More or less, it fires a spectral tiger at an opponent, which attacks and destroys the soul when it hits. But the tiger can be beaten if the opponent is strong enough, with only one tiger being allowed to be fired at a time.

Armor: None. His skin is already tough enough to tank everything that comes at him,

Abilities:

Super Strength
-As stated before, he's strong enough to easily break necks and other bones, as well as shatter bricks with ease. And his swings have enough where when he cuts metal, he sheers right through it.

Super Speed
-He's able to go at speeds faster than the eye can track.

Immense Durability
-No conventional weapon can kill him, short of just blasting him with half a dozen bombs or dropping a nuclear missile on him.

Wish, Should he win: He wants to be the strongest there is. No equals, he just wants to be the best.

El Alamein's Garbage Entry: The Greatest Cats on Earth

Well, I'll teach you! I'll teach you your last lesson that you'll ever have!
— Pookazander the Great


Pookazander the Great



Bio: Pookazander the Great was the most famous and admired of the three most legendary cat generals of antiquity, known collectively as the "Greatest Cats on Earth." He first achieved notoriety after his victory over the barbarian Stormilla the Hun in the Battle of the Catazon Jungle. Having engaged in a long campaign against Stormilla, Pookazander and his most trusted general, Bradley, braved the crocodile-infested waters of the Catazon River, though their army sustained significant casualties during the crossing.

On the other side of the river, Pookazander joined his skirmishers in scaling the tree trunks of the dense jungle, while Bradley led the main infantry force up on top of a rocky outcrop that overlooked the riverbanks. Pookazander successfully ambushed Stormilla's forces when they crossed the Catazon, but Stormilla rallies his men and the battle quickly devolves into an incredibly bloody slugfest in the jungle undergrowth. Pookazander and Bradley seek out Stormilla and his general, George, but they get bogged down in fighting with Stormilla's men. Once they manage to carve a path through the enemy forces and reach a clearing near the river, Stormilla surprises Pookazander and tackles him into the Catazon River. There, the two of them commence a sword duel where they fight not only one another, but a swarm of crocodiles that attacks them as well.

Stormilla becomes distracted when he notices that Bradley has killed George and hurled his head into the river. Stormilla attempts to drown Pookazander, who is weighed down by his armor, but Pookazander frees himself and emerges from beneath the water's surface in time to witness Stormilla get bitten in half by a crocodile. Dragging his foe's mangled corpse out of the river, Pookazander triumphantly announces the death of Stormilla, triggering a mass surrender of the enemy forces.

Years later, when Mark Rovahen calls for Pookazander to fight Cornelius Caesar and Queen Winnopatra in his "Greatest Cats on Earth" competition, Pookazander responds by launching a surprise attack on Cornelius' camp after Cornelius taunts him by promising to deploy a secret weapon. Pookazander's deployment was so sudden as to leave Cornelius utterly unprepared to respond, forcing him to surrender, and consequently allowing Pookazander to ransom Ian Ridgehammer, the long-lost son of Cornelius' fallen general Maxwell, for $2,300. Cornelius pays the ransom and Pookazander immediately swings his army back toward Winnopatra's camp. However, by now Pookazander has lost the element of surprise, and his soldiers are tired from the previous battle, so Winnopatra's forces hold their own. Trapped in a ring of fire with Winnopatra, Pookazander fights her, but when the two plunge into a lake to escape the flames, they are reconciled and decide to join forces against Cornelius.

Upon discovering that Cornelius and his new ally, Pumpkin, have kidnapped and ransomed Winnopatra's son Norman, Pookazander directs a rescue mission to recover his ally's son. Pookazander, Winnopatra, and just fifty troops are sufficient to overwhelm Cornelius' forces, who have Norman trapped in a massive wooden horse, the "secret weapon" to which Cornelius had earlier alluded. It is during this engagement that Pookazander single-handedly kills fifty enemy soldiers, before freeing Norman and taking three sticks of dynamite out of his socks, which he proceeds to use to blow up Cornelius' Trojan Horse.

However, it is at precisely this moment that Mark Rovahen appears to make his confession and Marge proposes to Norman, so Cornelius, Pumpkin, and Ian escape and Pookazander and Winnopatra are forced to meet them in battle at an abandoned power plant. Pookazander takes off on a heroic charge against Cornelius, where they engage in a fierce duel. Pookazander proves capable of holding off Cornelius long enough for Norman and Marge to appear and kill him. Pookazander reveals that he is somehow aware of Cornelius' magical powers and possession by the Devil, but this is immediately shelved when he heroically bestows the title of "the Greatest Cat on Earth" to Queen Winnopatra.

Physical Appearance

Pookah


Pookazander the Great is an orange Maine Coon cat. Like his fellow cat generals, he is a cat of human proportions. He stands on two legs, wears clothing, and speaks English. Additionally, while his paws are cat's paws, this does not impede his ability to grip weapons, write with pens, or do any other activity that would ordinarily require an opposable thumb. One should essentially picture Pookazander and his fellow cat generals as human-proportioned cats, who for all intents and purposes resemble cats but have all the biological advantages that human proportions would confer. Weapons=
*Close Range: Claws, teeth, longsword, torch. All of the cats in The Greatest Cats on Earth are capable of inflicting mortal injuries on their opponents by slashing with their claws and biting with their teeth. However, this is usually only done in moments of blind fury or passionate hand-to-hand combat. The primary weapon that the cats use is a typical longsword, between three and four feet in length, suited for use single-handedly or with a two-handed grip. It can be assumed to have a handguard to protect the user's wrist. Many of the soldiers in their armies carried torches as weapons, using them to set the fur of their enemies on fire mid-battle.
*Mid Range: Spear, net. The primary weapon of the cat infantry was the spear, usually around ten or eleven feet in length. There was also a modified lance version intended for use on horseback, around seven or eight feet in length. Some cats employed nets in battle as traps to ensnare victims, either to take them prisoner or else to incapacitate them before killing them.
*Long Range: Bows and arrows. The primary weapon of the cat skirmishers is a standard composite bow, with a reinforced string to prevent the cats' claws from slicing them in half. The arrows proved capable of piercing the armor of their opponents at a distance.
*Special Weapon: Dynamite. Pookazander the Great carries sticks of dynamite in his socks, which he took out to destroy Cornelius' Trojan Horse, and later employed during the final battle in the power plant, where he hurled explosives to blow up gas tanks and kill enemy soldiers.
*Armor: Steel helmet, chestplate, shoulder pads, greaves. Quilted gambeson underneath. Reinforced leather boots. Padded gauntlets.
*Abilities: Pookazander the Great is the most physically imposing of the three cat generals and probably the most skilled combatant with weapons. He defeated fifty enemy soldiers in personal combat during the rescue mission to save Norman. He is also ridiculously strong, capable of lifting an enemy cat, suited in full armor, completely above his head and throwing him off of a cliff (which he did at the Battle of the Catazon River). Pookazander the Great is vainglorious but tactically competent, and while he revels in the thrill of combat, he holds himself to standards of chivalry and courtesy, as evidenced by his concession of the title of "Greatest Cat on Earth" to Winnopatra. Pookazander is a skilled horse rider, duelist, swimmer (Pookazander even forded the Catazon River while fully suited in his armor) and has years of training and experience in battle with his weapons.

Hello, my name is Cornelius Caesar. I currently am at war with two other cat rulers, but do you know how it all started? Each one of us cats: Queen Winnopatra, Pookazander the Great, and I all defeated some of the most ferocious cat armies on Earth.
— Cornelius Caesar

Cornelius Caesar

You’ll be dead soon, so I’ll just say goodbye now.
— Cornelius Caesar
Cornelius Caesar

Bio=Cornelius Caesar was one of the three most legendary generals of antiquity, known collectively as the "Greatest Cats on Earth." He won his fame in his skillful victory over the armies of his longtime rival Tiger, at a decisive battle in the Weston Mountains. An arid, desolate wasteland, the Weston Mountains loomed as the only significant geographical feature over a desert littered with stones and dust. At the Battle of the Weston Mountains, Cornelius had drawn up his forces at the foot of the mountains, but his army was significantly outnumbered by Tiger's troops, who had occupied the high ground up at the top of the mountains. Tiger's archers rained missile fire from above on Cornelius' soldiers, inflicting casualties, before her infantry commenced a downhill advance on Cornelius' cats.

With the assistance of Maxwell Ridgehammer, his most trusted advisor and subordinate commander, Cornelius ripped off Mulan displayed tactical and operational flexibility, wheeling up his artillery to unleash an explosive barrage at the top of the mountain. The resulting bombardment triggered a massive rockslide that rained down on Tiger's army, annihilating it as Cornelius, Maxwell, and Maxwell's teenage son Ian were forced to take cover in a cave. Unfortunately, Tiger and her main general, Zippias, had managed to lead a party of several survivors to Cornelius' position. Tiger stabbed Maxwell in the chest, striking him dead in front of his son, while Cornelius dispatched Zippias and the few bodyguards who had accompanied Tiger into the cave. Tiger gained the upper hand over Cornelius in a duel, but before she could finish him off, Ian, overcome with a grief-induced fury over his father's death, murdered Tiger by digging his claws into her spine and biting her throat out. He then walked off into the desert, never to be seen again. Cornelius, however, had decisively won the battle.

Years later, Cornelius Caesar was nominated as one of the candidates for the "Greatest Cats on Earth," a competition initiated by a rich mogul named Mark Rovahen, who encouraged them to wage war on one another for a cash prize. Cornelius taunted his competitors, Winnopatra and Pookazander, by insisting he had the secret to victory with a secret weapon related to the Trojan War. This prompted Pookazander to launch an attack on Cornelius' camp, catching him by surprise. Fighting his way over to Cornelius, Pookazander forced him to concede the battle by ransoming Ian Ridgehammer (for the princely sum of $2,300), who had reappeared and had been taken hostage by Pookazander.

Cornelius pays the ransom, securing Ian's release, and Ian reveals that he had been working under the services of a French mercenary, an orange cat named Pumpkin. Ian arranges for Pumpkin's forces to join Cornelius' army. Pumpkin proves himself useful by kidnapping Winnopatra's son, Norman, while she was distracted in battle with Pookazander. This move ultimately backfires, however, as Winnopatra and Pookazander join forces against Cornelius and Pumpkin. Cornelius issues a ransom of 3,000 francs for Norman's safe release, and hides him in a massive wooden horse (the secret weapon to which Cornelius had earlier alluded).

Pookazander spearheads a rescue party and blows up Cornelius' wooden horse, rescuing Norman in the process. Cornelius is again forced to concede defeat, and the three cat generals end up sitting around chatting for a while before Mark Rovahen inexplicably appears and admits that the only reason he initiated the whole competition for the "Greatest Cats on Earth" was because he fervently admired the three cat generals and felt insecure that his claim to success was money rather than military prowess. To further complicate matters, a female cat named Marge proposes to Norman. In all the excitement, Cornelius, Ian, and Pumpkin simply walk out of the room and prepare their forces.

The final battle takes place in an abandoned power plant, where toxic fumes fill the air from puncutred gas tanks. Norman kills Pumpkin and Winnopatra kills Ian before they rush over to witness Cornelius fighting Pookazander. Norman distracts Cornelius by calling him "Corn-head," creating just enough of a window of opportunity for Marge to swing her sword into his midsection and kill him once and for all.

Upon Cornelius' death, his entire army simultaneously decomposes, their faces melting off and their bones distintegrating. Pookazander then reveals that Cornelius was an incredibly powerful sorcerer, who had magically bonded the lives of his men to his own life in order to coerce them into fanatical devotion. Pookazander also reveals that Cornelius gained these powers after being possessed by the Devil.

In a sequel that was doomed to go uncompleted, Cornelius was ultimately resurrected and made amends with Winnopatra and Pookazander, joining forces with them to fight back against the evil spirits that had corrupted him.

Physical Appearance
Cornelius

Cornelius Caesar is a gray longhair cat. Like his fellow cat generals, he is a cat of human proportions. He stands on two legs, wears clothing, and speaks English. Additionally, while his paws are cat's paws, this does not impede his ability to grip weapons, write with pens, or do any other activity that would ordinarily require an opposable thumb. One should essentially picture Cornelius and his fellow cat generals as human-proportioned cats, who for all intents and purposes resemble cats but have all the biological advantages that human proportions would confer.

Weapons

  • Close Range: Claws, teeth, longsword, torch. All of the cats in The Greatest Cats on Earth are capable of inflicting mortal injuries on their opponents by slashing with their claws and biting with their teeth. However, this is usually only done in moments of blind fury or passionate hand-to-hand combat. The primary weapon that the cats use is a typical longsword, between three and four feet in length, suited for use single-handedly or with a two-handed grip. It can be assumed to have a handguard to protect the user's wrist. Many of the soldiers in their armies carried torches as weapons, using them to set the fur of their enemies on fire mid-battle.
  • Mid Range: Spear, net. The primary weapon of the cat infantry was the spear, usually around ten or eleven feet in length. There was also a modified lance version intended for use on horseback, around seven or eight feet in length. Some cats employed nets in battle as traps to ensnare victims, either to take them prisoner or else to incapacitate them before killing them.
    *Long Range: Bows and arrows. The primary weapon of the cat skirmishers is a standard composite bow, with a reinforced string to prevent the cats' claws from slicing them in half. The arrows proved capable of piercing the armor of their opponents at a distance.
    *Special Weapon: Artillery. Cornelius Caesar personally employed a battery of cannons that fired explosive rockets at the Battle of the Weston Mountains. His favorite machine was a cannon named "Bessie the Blue," that fired the final shot that triggered the rockslide that would ultimately lead to his victory over Tiger, although he packed Bessie with so much ordinance that it destroyed Bessie after firing.
    *Armor: Steel helmet, chestplate, shoulder pads, greaves. Quilted gambeson underneath. Reinforced leather boots. Padded gauntlets.
    *Abilities: Cornelius Caesar is possessed by the Devil, and as a sorcerer proved capable of binding his soul to other beings, cursing them so that if he was killed they would die with him. As a general, he demonstrated a significant level of tactical competency, utilizing the terrain to his favor, although once he was possessed he tended to behave in irrational ways, finding himself frequently outsmarted by Winnopatra and Pookazander. Nonetheless, he demonstrated his ability to remain at least functionally competent as a leader of an army, and was able to enjoy local instances of success (such as when he kidnapped Winnopatra's son, Norman). Cornelius is a skilled horse rider, duelist, swimmer, and has years of training and experience in battle with his weapons.

Oh, did I break your wrists? I'm terribly sorry.
— Queen Winnopatra, moments before slicing open an enemy cat's wrists and leaving him to bleed to death.

Queen Winnopatra

Bio=Queen Winnopatra was one of the three most legendary cat generals of antiquity, and one of the "Greatest Cats on Earth." She rose to prominence through her brutal subjugation of her rival Sha Dae, a fellow warlord who had triggered hostilities when she invaded Winnopatra's kingdom, sacked her capital, and murdered her husband. Winnopatra bided her time, plotting for four years before. When she was ready, she personally led an infiltration force into the Sha Dae's castle in the midst of a feast, alongside her elderly general Jeffrey, who was to retire after that battle. Winnopatra's son, Norman, became separated from the group and was captured by Sha Dae's guards, who hauled him before the warlord. Upon realizing who Norman was, Sha Dae attempted to organize her forces, but Winnopatra emerged from hiding with her ambush party and set upon Sha Dae's nobles, massacring them where they sat.
However, Sha Dae's guards assembled and rallied against the invaders, while Sha Dae engaged in a duel with Norman, so consumed with bloodlust that she remained unfazed at an arrow that pierced her leg and severed an artery. Winnopatra finds herself tied up in a series of bizarre and brutal duels, including one where she voluntarily cedes her sword to a hostile guard before flipping over his head, snapping his wrists, and recovering her sword before stabbing him; and one where she forces an enemy guard's wrists backwards so that the back of his hand touches the top of his forearm, then slits his wrists open with her claws and leaves him to bleed out on the floor.

By the time Winnopatra has fought her way through the melee to Sha Dae, she finds her standing triumphantly over Norman, ready to strike him dead. Sha Dae stops to duel Winnopatra though, and Winnopatra gains the upper hand by repeatedly clanging her pommel on Sha Dae's helmet, stunning her. Winnopatra stabs Sha Dae in the chest, compelling her guards to surrender. It is in the aftermath of her victory that Winnopatra finds Jeffrey dead, killed in battle. Bent on revenge, Winnopatra burns Sha Dae's castle to the ground, and once safely outside, props up Jeffrey's body so that he can "witness" that his death was not in vain.

Years later, Winnopatra is chosen by Mark Rovahen as one of the three competitors for the "Greatest Cats on Earth" challenge. Winnopatra is the one to actually declare war on Cornelius and Pookazander, and largely stays out of the fighting, preferring to let Cornelius and Pookazander drain one another's resources and manpower. After Pookazander successfully ransoms Ian Ridgehammer and defeats Cornelius, he wheels his army around to invade Winnopatra's camp. Pookazander's army, exhausted from their earlier engagement, fail to take Winnopatra's forces by surprise, and Winnopatra lights a ring of fire around herself and Pookazander in an effort to kill her rival and rout his army. After a duel in which both cats run through the fire and jump into a lake, they inexplicably make amends when they decide "they got carried away." As they walk back towards Winnopatra's tent, their clashing armies embrace when they realize that their commanders are friends after all.

It is here that they discover that Cornelius Caesar, and his new ally, Pumpkin, have kidnapped Norman and are ransoming him for 3,000 francs. Winnopatra, Pookazander, and fifty cats embark on a rescue mission, which culminates in Pookazander dynamiting Cornelius' Trojan horse while Winnopatra distracts Cornelius with a sword duel. As mentioned in Cornelius' bio, this skirmish is interrupted by Mark Rovahen's confession and Marge's proposal to Norman, which enables Cornelius and his forces to retreat and reform in an abandoned power plant.

In this final battle, Winnopatra largely oversees the tactical deployment of the forces while Pookazander goes on a death-or-glory charge to kill Cornelius. As such, she is mostly absent from the duels that end in the deaths of Pumpkin, Ian, and Cornelius. After the destruction of Cornelius' army, Pookazander graciously agrees to grant Winnopatra the title of "the Greatest Cat on Earth," thus leaving her the technical victor of Mark Rovahen's contest.
Physical Appearance=

Winnie


Queen Winnopatra is a black calico shorthair cat. Like her fellow cat generals, she is a cat of human proportions. She stands on two legs, wears clothing, and speaks English. Additionally, while her paws are cat's paws, this does not impede her ability to grip weapons, write with pens, or do any other activity that would ordinarily require an opposable thumb. One should essentially picture Winnopatra and her fellow cat generals as human-proportioned cats, who for all intents and purposes resemble cats but have all the biological advantages that human proportions would confer. Weapons=
*Close Range: Claws, teeth, longsword, torch. All of the cats in The Greatest Cats on Earth are capable of inflicting mortal injuries on their opponents by slashing with their claws and biting with their teeth. However, this is usually only done in moments of blind fury or passionate hand-to-hand combat. The primary weapon that the cats use is a typical longsword, between three and four feet in length, suited for use single-handedly or with a two-handed grip. It can be assumed to have a handguard to protect the user's wrist. Many of the soldiers in their armies carried torches as weapons, using them to set the fur of their enemies on fire mid-battle.
*Mid Range: Spear, net. The primary weapon of the cat infantry was the spear, usually around ten or eleven feet in length. There was also a modified lance version intended for use on horseback, around seven or eight feet in length. Some cats employed nets in battle as traps to ensnare victims, either to take them prisoner or else to incapacitate them before killing them.
*Long Range: Bows and arrows. The primary weapon of the cat skirmishers is a standard composite bow, with a reinforced string to prevent the cats' claws from slicing them in half. The arrows proved capable of piercing the armor of their opponents at a distance.
*Special Weapon: Shield. Queen Winnopatra's forces were unique in their employment of shields in addition to their armor. The shield was effectively a personal buckler, made of laminated wood and stretched hide with a steel boss for offensive capabilities.
*Armor: Steel helmet, chestplate, shoulder pads, greaves. Quilted gambeson underneath. Reinforced leather boots. Padded gauntlets.
*Abilities: Queen Winnopatra is easily the most competent administrator of the three cat generals, as she prefers to direct campaigns and plan strategies rather than spearhead a charge like Cornelius or Pookazander. However, Winnopatra also demonstrated incredible feats of acrobatics, such as performing a standing frontflip over an enemy soldier and landing in time to attack him from behind. She also seems to possess above-average strength, such as being able to force an opponent's wrists completely backwards with just her hands in a matter of seconds. She was able to kill enemies after voluntarily giving them all of her weapons. She is incredibly protective of her son, Norman, and is incredibly vengeful toward anyone who slights her personally. Winnopatra is a skilled horse rider, duelist, swimmer, and has years of training and experience in battle with her weapons.


Pookazander the Great

Well, I'll teach you! I'll teach you your last lesson that you'll ever have!
— Pookazander the Great

Pookazander the Great



Bio= Pookazander the Great was the most famous and admired of the three most legendary cat generals of antiquity, known collectively as the "Greatest Cats on Earth." He first achieved notoriety after his victory over the barbarian Stormilla the Hun in the Battle of the Catazon Jungle. Having engaged in a long campaign against Stormilla, Pookazander and his most trusted general, Bradley, braved the crocodile-infested waters of the Catazon River, though their army sustained significant casualties during the crossing.

On the other side of the river, Pookazander joined his skirmishers in scaling the tree trunks of the dense jungle, while Bradley led the main infantry force up on top of a rocky outcrop that overlooked the riverbanks. Pookazander successfully ambushed Stormilla's forces when they crossed the Catazon, but Stormilla rallies his men and the battle quickly devolves into an incredibly bloody slugfest in the jungle undergrowth. Pookazander and Bradley seek out Stormilla and his general, George, but they get bogged down in fighting with Stormilla's men. Once they manage to carve a path through the enemy forces and reach a clearing near the river, Stormilla surprises Pookazander and tackles him into the Catazon River. There, the two of them commence a sword duel where they fight not only one another, but a swarm of crocodiles that attacks them as well.

Stormilla becomes distracted when he notices that Bradley has killed George and hurled his head into the river. Stormilla attempts to drown Pookazander, who is weighed down by his armor, but Pookazander frees himself and emerges from beneath the water's surface in time to witness Stormilla get bitten in half by a crocodile. Dragging his foe's mangled corpse out of the river, Pookazander triumphantly announces the death of Stormilla, triggering a mass surrender of the enemy forces.

Years later, when Mark Rovahen calls for Pookazander to fight Cornelius Caesar and Queen Winnopatra in his "Greatest Cats on Earth" competition, Pookazander responds by launching a surprise attack on Cornelius' camp after Cornelius taunts him by promising to deploy a secret weapon. Pookazander's deployment was so sudden as to leave Cornelius utterly unprepared to respond, forcing him to surrender, and consequently allowing Pookazander to ransom Ian Ridgehammer, the long-lost son of Cornelius' fallen general Maxwell, for $2,300. Cornelius pays the ransom and Pookazander immediately swings his army back toward Winnopatra's camp. However, by now Pookazander has lost the element of surprise, and his soldiers are tired from the previous battle, so Winnopatra's forces hold their own. Trapped in a ring of fire with Winnopatra, Pookazander fights her, but when the two plunge into a lake to escape the flames, they are reconciled and decide to join forces against Cornelius.

Upon discovering that Cornelius and his new ally, Pumpkin, have kidnapped and ransomed Winnopatra's son Norman, Pookazander directs a rescue mission to recover his ally's son. Pookazander, Winnopatra, and just fifty troops are sufficient to overwhelm Cornelius' forces, who have Norman trapped in a massive wooden horse, the "secret weapon" to which Cornelius had earlier alluded. It is during this engagement that Pookazander single-handedly kills fifty enemy soldiers, before freeing Norman and taking three sticks of dynamite out of his socks, which he proceeds to use to blow up Cornelius' Trojan Horse.

However, it is at precisely this moment that Mark Rovahen appears to make his confession and Marge proposes to Norman, so Cornelius, Pumpkin, and Ian escape and Pookazander and Winnopatra are forced to meet them in battle at an abandoned power plant. Pookazander takes off on a heroic charge against Cornelius, where they engage in a fierce duel. Pookazander proves capable of holding off Cornelius long enough for Norman and Marge to appear and kill him. Pookazander reveals that he is somehow aware of Cornelius' magical powers and possession by the Devil, but this is immediately shelved when he heroically bestows the title of "the Greatest Cat on Earth" to Queen Winnopatra

Physical Appearance=Pookah Pookazander the Great is an orange Maine Coon cat. Like his fellow cat generals, he is a cat of human proportions. He stands on two legs, wears clothing, and speaks English. Additionally, while his paws are cat's paws, this does not impede his ability to grip weapons, write with pens, or do any other activity that would ordinarily require an opposable thumb. One should essentially picture Pookazander and his fellow cat generals as human-proportioned cats, who for all intents and purposes resemble cats but have all the biological advantages that human proportions would confer.

  • Close Range: Claws, teeth, longsword, torch. All of the cats in The Greatest Cats on Earth are capable of inflicting mortal injuries on their opponents by slashing with their claws and biting with their teeth. However, this is usually only done in moments of blind fury or passionate hand-to-hand combat. The primary weapon that the cats use is a typical longsword, between three and four feet in length, suited for use single-handedly or with a two-handed grip. It can be assumed to have a handguard to protect the user's wrist. Many of the soldiers in their armies carried torches as weapons, using them to set the fur of their enemies on fire mid-battle.
  • Mid Range: Spear, net. The primary weapon of the cat infantry was the spear, usually around ten or eleven feet in length. There was also a modified lance version intended for use on horseback, around seven or eight feet in length. Some cats employed nets in battle as traps to ensnare victims, either to take them prisoner or else to incapacitate them before killing them.
  • Long Range: Bows and arrows. The primary weapon of the cat skirmishers is a standard composite bow, with a reinforced string to prevent the cats' claws from slicing them in half. The arrows proved capable of piercing the armor of their opponents at a distance
  • Special Weapon: Dynamite. Pookazander the Great carries sticks of dynamite in his socks, which he took out to destroy Cornelius' Trojan Horse, and later employed during the final battle in the power plant, where he hurled explosives to blow up gas tanks and kill enemy soldiers.
  • Armor: Steel helmet, chestplate, shoulder pads, greaves. Quilted gambeson underneath. Reinforced leather boots. Padded gauntlets. Abilities: Pookazander the Great is the most physically imposing of the three cat generals and probably the most skilled combatant with weapons. He defeated fifty enemy soldiers in personal combat during the rescue mission to save Norman. He is also ridiculously strong, capable of lifting an enemy cat, suited in full armor, completely above his head and throwing him off of a cliff (which he did at the Battle of the Catazon River). Pookazander the Great is vainglorious but tactically competent, and while he revels in the thrill of combat, he holds himself to standards of chivalry and courtesy, as evidenced by his concession of the title of "Greatest Cat on Earth" to Winnopatra. Pookazander is a skilled horse rider, duelist, swimmer (Pookazander even forded the Catazon River while fully suited in his armor) and has years of training and experience in battle with his weapons.

Basic Info[]

Name: Xavier Daednsyde

Background: Xavier was a normale kid during his childhood. He had parent's who loved him, loads of friend's and was always doing well in exam's because of his 300 IQ. Howevr this all changed on one fateful november evening when tragedgy struck. Xavier was tucked up in bed when suddenly he heard crashing and banging downstair's, followed by the bloodcurling screams of his mother. Xavier crept downstair's and found the managed body parts of his parent's strewn across the room and a mystrious masked man in a cape bathed in there blod. The man noticed little Xavier but rather than killing him as well he fled into the night.

Forced to move in with his aunt and uncle who lived 2,000 miles away in different state Xavier slowly became an emtionaless husk of a human being to cope with the trauma. At school he was an outkast because he was just too smart for all the student's and many of the teacher's as well. Xavier spent most of his school days sitting at the back of the classroom, headphones in and drawing until one day he was approached by one of the teachers Mr. Killbrane, who had taken an intrest in his art. He invited him to join an afterschool art class and despite being reluctant at first he joined. Every day after classe's were finished he would go to the class draw and have conversations with Mr. Killbrane about highly intelligent subjects, stuff none of the other moron student's or his dimwitted teacher's could understand. Xavier slowly began to see the joy of life again in those moment's.

However this brief hope was not to last. Mr. Killbrane started off nice but soon he began to become abusive and angry with Xavier if his drawings were not to his liking, or his opinions different to his. He abused Xavier fiscally, metallily and sixually but his kind words about him and the fact he was the only person who seemed to understood Xavier kept drawing him back. One day Xavier went to the art class only to find a message from Mr. Killbrane saying he would be a few minutes late and to start drawing without him. Realising he'd lost his pencil he went searching for another one in Mr. Killbrane's art closet. What he found in the closet however turned his blood cold. Hung up on the far wall was a mask and a cape, the exact cape and mask etched into Xavier's mind as the item's worn by his parent's killer. It was at this moment that Mr Killbrane showed up and cornered him in the closet. He laughed manically and revealed that yes it was him who killed Xavier's parent's all those years ago and had been grooming Xavier for months, revealing in the fact his prized student had no idea he was chatting with the man who murdered his parent's.

Xavier flew into an uncontrollable rage at this, emotions he hadn't felt for years surging through his body and he attacked Mr. Killbrane, surprising the older man with ferocaty and stabbing him in the throat with a pencil. As he laid bleeding to death on the floor, Mr. Killbrane suddenly lept at Xavier and pinned him to the ground. He opened his mouth wide and a disgusting black goo started seeping out of his mouth and all over Xavier. It slowly began to sink into his skin and swirlled around inside him until it eventually reached his brain. The goo revealed itself to be sentient, it was in fact a creature from a time long since forgotten who had no fisical form and had to possess other people to continue it's depravity. It taunted Xavier about how it would now take over his body but Xavier was too much stronk for him to fully take over because of his supreme intelligence. It was at this moment that another teacher came into the room looking for Mr. Killbrane and upon seeing his bloody corpse and Xavier hunched over it she called the police.

Knowing he could not return to his aunt and uncle, he fled the town and started up life as a drifter, wandering aimelessly for several year's as the monster inside tortured him by bringing up repressed memorie's from his past to haunt him. However Xavier, owing to his 300IQ himself was also able to read the memorie's of the creature and found out that there were hundreds of other creature's just like the one currently possessing him. It was then he new his purpose, he had to destroy these creature's and stop the misry they caused once and for all. It was about this time that he realised he was able to harness the power of the monster and weaponise it against his evil brethrean. But the real question is not if Xavier can stop the monster's on the outside and save the world, it's if he can stop the monster within and save himself.

Appearance:

Normal

My Shitty OC








Alt Form

Shitty OC's Alt








Badass Level: 13

Age: 19

Sex: Xavier doesn't sully his purity with the sin of sex.

Favorite Song:

Santa Monica - Theory of a Deadman (Xavier)

Break Your Little Heart - All Time Low (Alt Form)

Favorite Food: Blood Pudding

Wish: To be able to feel again.

Weapons[]

Close: Lifedrinker, Dagger of Eternal Damnation. When finishing off a demon in close range, Xavier turns to a dagger infused with his dark magic. The blade is made from glass but despite this is still strong enough to stab through skin, flesh and bone and reach the heart. From there the black magic stored inside of the blade absorbs the soul of the person which Xavier then drags out of their body along with the blade, leaving behind a lifeless husk. Xavier then smashes the glass, releasing the soul trapped within, which without a physical form to inhabit simply evaporates into thin air. Xavier keeps at least a dozen spare blade's on him at all time which he slots back into the handle when the previous blade is destroyed. Naturally this weapon is not well suited for dueling with due to it's fragile nature but is able to penetrate all physical and magical defences due to the sheer amount of dark magic infused into each blade. This is the weapon of choice for Xavier when in his alt form, where he doesn't have to worry about parrying blows and can simply regenerate damage and focus solely on stabbing his opponent with the blade.

Mid: Sword of the Shadowz. Xavier creates a pure black katana out of shadows, which leak from his hand in order to form the shape of the sword. While it functions basically the same as a regular katana it has to be in contact with Xavier at all times, if he gets disarmed of the sword it immediately disappears into nothing. However Xavier can simply create another sword should he lose his current one.

Long: Massacre, Agents Of Horrors. For dealing with a foe at long ranges Xavier turns to his pair of trusty desert eagle's. Able to fire them without recoil due to his superhuman strength and with pinpoint accuracy due to his superhuman reflexes Xavier mainly uses them just as a standard pair of pistol's but he can also infuse the bullet's with essances of the monster inside him. Should these bullet's hit a person then the fragments of the monster burrow into their skin and attacks them from the inside, destroying their internal organ's and feasting on their flesh. The drawback to this is that the more of the monster's essance is infused with bullet's the weaker Xavier's own power's become hence why he doesn't always use it. Furthermore in order to regain the essence back Xavier has to fisically go and collect it from the persons body although he can do this at any time.

Special: A Mirror into the Soul. A small mirror infused with magic from the monster it acts as a mirror into a person's soul. When someone looks into the mirror it shows them all the darkness within their heart. Exposed to their inner darkness the effected person will be paralysed in place, with the length of the paralysis dependent on how much darkness there is inside of them. Touching the mirror causes their inner darkness to be absorbed into it, which can then be transfered to Xavier in order to boost his own dark power's. The drawback is that a person has to actually look at the mirror in order for the effect to take place, so simply covering their eyes is enough to prevent it from effecting them. Xavier only uses the mirror at super close ranges and likes to goad an opponent into attacking him and then wipping out the mirror before they can react to make it more effective.

Iconic: Tool of the Trade. The pencil that he used to kill Mr. Killbrane; the blood spilled on the pencil infused it with magic from the monster. Xavier uses the pencil to create shadow creature's which he can send to attack his opponents and while they are weak and easy to destroy he can create dozens of them at once to overwhelm his opponent or as a distraction to escape. He can also draw lines around a person to trap them in place or to create a protective barrier around himself. These barriers and shadow creatures are weak to holy weapon's and light based magic. It can also function as a melee weapon in a pinch but it's short range makes it strictly a last resort.

Armor: Xavier's coat and vest are bullet and stab proof to give him limited protection against firearm's and blade's.

Abilities: Being possessed by a monster from the dark ages Xavier is able to harness to give himself the following abilities;

Superhuman Physicality: Xavier has superhuman strength, speed, agility and reactions as well as a minor healing ability, enough to heal from cuts, stabs and broken bones in a matter of seconds. He is also immune to any dark magic such as necromancy.

Weapon Infusing: These powers are also what Xavier uses to infuse his weapons and equipment with the magic abilities they possesss.

Alternate Form: However Xavier also has the ability to fully embrace the monster within and change into his alternate form. In this form his physical abilitie's get boosted even more and his healing ability skyrockets, to the point where minor damage is healed instantly and he can regenerate from dismeberment and decapitation. In this form he can also directly absorb the soul's of his opponent's when using Blade from the Beyond rather than destroying them to further add to his power. The drawback of this is that this form can only be sustained for a maximum of 5 minutes as any longer and Xavier would be taken over fully by the monster, reduced to a soul living within the monster as opposed to the other way around. Furthermore this form is very weak against holy weapons and light based magic which disrupts his healing abilitiy.

Name: Boris the Very Equal

Background: One day Boris was in high school and he was being beat up by some upper-class rich kids like usual, when a potato slammed straight into one of the bullies knocking the filth onto the ground. What appeared before Boris could only be described as Godlike. It was Leon Trotsky, Boris's idol. Leon then put on an onslaught of kicks and punches and yelled "Permanent Revolution", and then a bunch of Soviets appeared and killed everyone there. Boris then slowly walks up to his hero. Leon smiles and says " Let's seize the means of production together Boris". Boris than bursts into tears and hugs his comrade.

They then left the scene, determined to take down every Capitalist scumbag who wants to hoard all the production and money that is around. The Europeans were mostly easy to kill, but Angela Merkel still had one spirit up their sleeves, Hitler himself. The filthy Fascist, relied on his "perfect soldiers" and sat back, waiting for the battle to be over. " But Boris, being the true comrade he is, charged straight into the mix, while Trotsky yelled " Seize the Means!", making all the weapons of the Nazis disappear. Then after the war against Europe was done, the two men went straight through Asia, Africa, and all the other minor nations with ease.

But what happened with America, is classified, and for reading this top secret document, you will be sent to Gulag

  • Initiate Lockdown, Filthy Capitalist has read classified Soviet Information*

Glory to the Soviet Union and goodbye.

Appearance: 5"9 150lbs, blue eyes, massive moustache, Soviet hat, always wears a disheveled coat with holes in it. baggy pants, hammer and sickle tatooed on his chest

Badass Level: 1917 (like the Revolution)

Age: 17

Sex: Soviet ( The only pronoun allowed is Comrade)

Favorite Song: The Anthem of the Soviet Union of course

Favorite Food: Nothing, Soviets don't need to eat, but Boris does worship Vodka, not being able to function without a bottle. If left without it for longer than 10 seconds, Boris goes into an utter rage.

Close: Duel-Wield Tokarevs- The ultimate definition of badass is a duel wielding Soviet with his Vodka and these Tokarevs has round that will instantly kill any Capitalists who is unfortunate enough to be in contact with a round of these pistols.

Mid:PPSH-41 with Unlimited ammunition- The PPSH-41 was already the coolest SMG to ever exist, why not let it use unlimited ammo? The industrial might of the Soviet Union can easily supply all the rounds that he could ever want.

Long: Mosin-Nagant with adjustable PU scope: Ah the greatest sniper rifle of WW2 comes back to grace our presence once again.

Special: RGD-33 with Uranium in it- As the USSR had a great about of nuclear weapons in it's time why the hell wouldn't Boris have some nuclear material on his person. As a result, it leaves field of radiation, and will kill all in it's path

Iconic: Hammer and Sickle combination- Less of a weapon and more of a shield, when Boris puts these symbols of freedom from profit and evil together, everyone in the immediate area is pushed back with great force

Armor: Nothing, what Soviet would rely on armor made from the suffering of the working class?

Abilities

-Soviet Strength/Durability: Boris is endowed with the power of all the working class, and is able to overpower others with ease. A single punch can kill if his convinction is high enough. For durability, Boris can withstand bullets, rockets,explosions, can easily survive the cold (as a true Soviet would) and has even survived a mini-nuke to the face.He isnt immune to magic though, being a notable weakness of his.

- Ability to Resurrect himself: Communism never dies, so why should Boris? Everytime his Physical form is destroyed, he can always be revived by his dead comrades. Keep in mind it does take about 30 seconds to do, so if the comrades are interrupted, it could be nullified for a while

-Leon Trotsky's Spirit/ Stand ( Think like Star Platinum or The World from JJBA): Leon has come back from the grave to support a true comrade suffering under capitalist regimes and has various abilities of his own. Like any other stand, Leon is able to deflect and

  • "Permanent Revolution": When Leon utters "Permanent Revolution", various soviet spirits appear around Boris and pull out various rifles, SMG's, pistols, Machetes, hammers and sickles etc. and charge straight at any enemy Boris has.
  • "Seize the Means" After saying this, all weapons and all utilities of Boris's enemy are forced from their hands and destroyed, into the void, never to be seen again


Name:Mecha-Hippoman! (It's really just Justin but the memes say otherwise.)

Background:After getting killed by an English mercenary in 1744 who took his pet's head to his most hated archenemy , King Frogeater XV, Justin the Leopard Hippo was just left to be buried by the snow as the Polar Tribe fell apart due to civil war and French invasion. Several centuries passed until some unexpected guests arrived in the nuclear wastes that used to be the Arctic. The Derp Guard were scouting for new territory but also were getting desperate to maintain their hold over New Zealand.

With the rise of the Troll Party, they had resorted to increasingly ridiculous methods including listening to some Chinese ghost with a last name that literally meant soldier who apparently died by either blowing himself and his enemies up with a super mine or taking an Ottoman axe to the face. An Bambang's spirit led them to what used to be Canada to find who he called one of the mightiest warriors of all time. The Guard managed to unearth Justin's body and what remained of Daisy's before returning home.

In New Zealand, the Empire's advanced technology easily brought back the Leopard Hippo but the real problem was getting him to help them defeat the Troll Party. It turned out that all they needed was to stich a leopard seal's head on the Arctic "Bunyip" Hippo they found and having Bambang resdurect it. After that the Troll Party was slaughtered within hours and the Emperor had a new super weapon to oppress his colonies with, an ironic perversion of Justin's original goals in life.

Appearance:Basically the same as usual, a big man wearing hippo padding and a leopard helm except this entire appearance is actually a mechanical exoskeleton. The skeleton underneath is supported by an endoskeleton made to resemble a Derp Guard power suit.

Badass Level:Number 9 Large

Age:Technically 45 but 48 if counting years after ressurection

Sex:Male

Favorite Song:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE

Favorite Food:Cheeseburger

Close:Nata-Iron Pole Combo

Justin wields this horrific merger of his iconic weapons from life with the same weapons he used against the Englishman...and yes, he took the end with a point despite it being the shorter half, courtesy of the world's worst knight.

Mid:Great Ice Axe

Basically the Great Knife but instead of being a huge knife, it's a 9 foot long ice axe that he can cleave a Troll Party tank in half with.

Long:Nest of 3-Barrels

You didn't think Bambang just contributed to finding and ressurecting the Leopard Hippo, did you? He gave him this blackpowder monstrosity, based on the fictional Nest of Bees and his San Yan Chong that fires a barrage of poisoned explosive arrows to make sure whoever gets hit is really, really dead.

Special:Inferno Cannon

A more portable version of the Inferno Musket that resembles a hand cannon, this fires a specific kind of napalm that burns as hot as a volcano. Unfortunately it is literally impossible to reload but at least it has a cool little dagger blade to stab enemies with afterwards.

Iconic:Skele-Daisy

Unfortunately for the Arctic Bunyip, she didn't get the same treatment as her owner and is just a skeleton encased in molten steel now. She does have her original soul however and an additional leopard seal soul. She also has a new head that enables her to crush a Derp Guard helmet and keeps her original arsenal as well but with one improvement, shr can finally unleash the bloodcurdling howl.

Armor:Mecha Hippoman Suit

Made out of the same titanium as the mighty Oceanic Warships, this suit provides almost unlimited protection being able to tank even the skyscraper destroying blows of the Oceanic Cannon. Unfortunately it's heavy and makes Justin move at the speed of an undead goalie along with needing to be charged every 6 hours.

Abilities-

Knowledge of all Earth languages:Despite being able to read The Art of War and The Book of Five Rings in life due to the Polar Tribe's teachings, Justin now has the ability to understand and speak all human and animal languages if they come from Earth thanks to the Derp Guard's enhancements.

Advanced Targeting Systems:What kind of cybernetic secret weapon wouldn't have targeting systems to almost never miss and hit vitals? A bad one abd the Leopard Hippo is not that.

An Bambang's Ghost:Technically he's outside help but he's not really able to do much except give Justin advice in combat and put Skele-Daisy back together when she inevitably gets blown apart fir the twelth time. He can also turn corporeal and frighten dumber opponents with his epic martial arts moves but that comes with certain risks, mainly taking a weapon to the face.

Name: Arctotherium "Short Face" Angustidens

Age: Uknown

Sex: Female

Badass level: ⑨

Favorite song: Welcome to Japari Park! by PPP

Bio: Short Face hails from the universe of Kemono Friends (besto kawaii aniime evah desu) in which she was originlly progrmmed to be a biological weapon to be used by the Japanese government until the technology of infusing girls with animal DNA was used for entertainment purposes. As such, Short Face never saw action until she was born in a lab in the deepest undergroud of Japari Park. Ever since then, Short Face has been the best cerullean hunter in the world and has killed even the extradimensional demon god overlords of the Kemono Friends universe. After eradcating all and every bad guy from the universe, she married Kaban and lived happily ever after, because why the fuck would a Short Face Bear waifu not marry a GENDER AMBIGUOUS underaged human girl.

Description: Arctotherium is the best waifu. Her power is only rivalled by her beauty, which made every neko waifus int he series want to fuck her. Her hair is grizzly brown and is adorned with bear ears, a must have to be the best waifu. Her bust is the biggest in fiction and her mere sight is enough to make anybody collapse. She wears a bear fur coat because she's a bear friend.

Short: Claws and fangs. Being a bear friend, her claws and jaws are strong enough to kill gods and shatter diamonds. Because a short faced bear is much stronger than a grizzly bear, the claw swipes deliver an immense amount of force and pressure behind every swing. Decapitation is not uncommon when being smashed across the face with its sheer force. Mid: Bear paw mace. The same wielded by vitually all bears in the series. Strong enough to shatter obsidian and bust through reinforced steel doors with a few strikes. Long: Kamehameha. Arctotherium has defeated Goku, raped him and ate his flesh, which gave her the power to use all of his ki and god ki attacks. Sometimes she will be become randomly bored throughout the process and will stop the moment she sees a butterfly or red bean paste mochi, also the process of attacking with thsi noclear bomb of a weapon takes as long as it does in the show. She could’ve cast It faster, but she wanted to keep it authentic. Only capable of being cast after slowly repeating its name cause anime enjoys budget saving techniques. Special: High-prssure water gun. Used to play with her friends in bikini on the eback, this weapon can fire a high-pressure stream of water powerful enough to cut straight through obsidian. Additionally, when using this weapon, she magically equips an XTRA THICC swimsuit. Like real life water guns the range is horribly short and only contains enough water for several small burst streams Iconic: Roar. Being a bear friend, Arctotherium can roar loud and majesticalillyfully enough to make anybody fear, respect and venerate her. Anybody who hears it will be struck with awe, fear and longing. Bings with great willpower can resist it. Although, the roar won’t hinder combat ability of the target it may leave them stunned momentarily in combat to create lulls for her to take advantage of. The roar gives away her position to anyone in the nearby vicinity. Armor: Bear fur. Arctotherium, being a bear, has fur that weakens all and every form of attack. Real life bears have survived being hit by trucks thanks to their fur. Short Face, being a friend, has even tougher fur, even in places where he doesn't have fur. It is as durable as spider silk and can deflect rifles round as if they were nothing. However, like most animals, fire can hurt her, which is why she fell inlove with the fire wielding Kaban in the first place, as she was the only one who could hurt her. Against other weapons, it can provide a means of defense, but otherwise its durable fur armor that with enough blows can be broken past

Ability 1: Za Warudo. Arctotherium killed Dio because someone said Jojo is best anime, and that's not true. Kemono is bestterest than any anime in the entirre hole world. Now, she has Za Warudo, which can time stop for 2 seconds and MUDAMUDAMUDA. With ZA WARUDO, she suffers from heart issues that come to light after its usage as ZA WARUDO takes a tremendous amount of energy that can only be counterattacked by Wild Release.

Ability 2: Unpralleled beauty and cuteness. Short Face made all Friends in Japari Park attracted her. Beings of all genders and species, including nekos and furries, are unable to resist her charm. However, someone without a mind in the first place or equally in love with someone else is immune to these effects. Hijack: Fuck Kemono Friends. Havin' a hot day guys? Kazanshin arrives in an explosion. Here I am, hijacking into this pityful OC's abilities, just to tell you that if you plan on watching Kemono Friends, don't. Seriously, don't. The thing has ruined my life. Kancolle was already bad enough, this bullshit must not be taken seriously. Fuck, they even managed to collab with the zoo I part time worked at. All I wanted was to have a tate of spicy memes in Niconico but no, the place is infested with Kemono. Please, help me fight this threat once and for all. Join the Thot Slayer Brigade now and join us in the battle. I can't keep this hijack much longer, so I'll be leavin 'ya all now. I'll see you on the slaying field, eh? Until then, stay fired up, this is Kazanshin out.

Ability 3: Wild release. Her super form which gives her a 300% power increase lasting only 2 minutes afterwards she will nearly completely be depleted of energy and practically unable to move. Only the consumption of mochi will heal her. Za Warudo now has a time stop of six seconds, but each usage of this further complicates the duration of her Wild Release, bringing it down by a minute upon usage. Trying to use ZA WARUDO with your timer under a minute results in it going through, but suffering grave consequences afterwards.

Name:No longer goes by his previous name. All that is left is Owlman

Sex: Owl

Badass level: Justice

Favorite song: That Batman song that goes nanananannaanana Batman

BIO: The former entrant into the Hunger Games tourney who previously failed and was universally disgraced before the viewers, Aaron Porter was locked away in the bowels along the other failed OCs. Yet as the years passed and tensions rose between the citizens of DFederal and the leadership of the city, the Users. In a desperate attempt to gather more information regarding the mental state, tactics and abilities of the Users, rebel groups poured into the sewers and instigated a break out operation. The operation was less than successful with numerous warriors having been captured or executed during the fighting, but few OCs were able to escape, although fewer lived to tell the tale of their time underground.

Aaron Porter was among this group, although it came at the lost of losing his one ally from their time in the Hunger Games, but taking on his sword in his quest to reach justice and stability in the city. Meeting up with Resistance leaders and helping organize attacks on the police and military that seeked to oppress the citizens. There he continuously came to grips that his parents were dead and that reality was little more than the creation of some Australian who probably likes vegemite, further increasing the extremism of his methods before he was ultimately forced to leave the resistance and strike it out on his own. With vengeance in his heart, Aaron fully adopted the personality of Owl Man, his only true choice and out to forge a path of destruction throughout the city.

After months of fighting, training and nearly dying, the Owl Man is getting closer to his dream of true revolution against the system. Along his time in the city he has fought numerous factions such as SWAT, GSG-9, mobster groups, and high ranking warriors, albeit with mixed results. And the first major step comes in the shape of the new crown jewel of the city and his plot to destroy it.


  • Short Range: Butterfly Knife: Since his resurrection from the Warrior Sphere, The Owlman has gotten to work in upgrading his much out of date weapon selection to combat this new breed of villainy and injustice. The Butterfly Knife now has a super-heated blade similar to that of a lightsaber after freely stealing equipment from the armory along with option of extra concealability functions and the option to fire the knife blade only to be replaced by a new knife.
  • Mid: The Warrior’s Ninjato- A memento from his long-gone ally who died during their accidental release from the Warrior Sphere, Owlman carries on the sword as a tool of remembrance. The Ninjato has been recrafted with the finest Damascus Steel known to the universe and blessed with power of the Holy Catholic Church (no idea if it works against Demons, but the back-alley Priest swore it did). In its hilt, the Ninjato contains the fragment Clint Eastwood’s nail giving it the power to cut through solid steel.
  • Long Range: Shuriken- Come in many sizes, even some of those big ones from Naruto. He figured that the bigger ones would send out a better message to the enemy. Have been properly adjusted to also becoming fist shuriken, that he can punch people with.
  • Special: Taser Shotgun- Delivering justice and punishing evil doers with the usual weapon set was beginning to get stale, along with their screams for mercy starting to put a real hamper on things, Owl Man has crafted a new weapon. The Taser Shotgun is a shotgun that fires shells with enough stunning potential to down blue whale. Although, in order to tone down accusations of violence, it has several settings on stunning potential, one meant traditionally for more humanoids, one for larger targets, blue whale and lethal. Lethal capable of causing massive internal damage to the lungs or brain, but it was their fault for resisting if he had to use this.
  • Iconic: The Mallet of Ban- Inscribing ancient runes onto his mallet, Owl Man now has limited control over the elements, but still prefers to use the traditional method of standard bludgeoning tool in combat. The elements consist of lightning, fire and ice. If you’re wondering where a starving vigilante learned runes and ancient Celtic magic, those comic books had much information in them than what should be in there.
  • Armor: The Owl Man Suit- Previously destroyed after having been seen as too over powered for mortal eyes, Owl Man diligently took to the illegal black markets and brought vast quantities of spider silk before killing all those who sold him it. He then had it tailored into his iconic suit which protected his entire body, along with a long flowing cape that seems to continuingly dance in the breeze. The lens now can see like that of an actual owl, although leads to blurring on the edges.

Abilities:

  • Hardcore Parkour: A skilled free runner from his time in District 12 after his training and constant need to avoid Peacekeepers from his justified murdering and beating of civilians who committed grave littering crimes. He is able to scale buildings, evade capture and use the territory to his advantage. This traditionally comes more in hand when it comes to urban settings, but it has some usage in the woods.
  • Smarts: While not being traditionally educated, in fact, he likely has the real knowledge of a grade schooler, he nonetheless grew up in a district where cheating, stealing and doing what it takes to survive is the name of the game. Skilled at trapping, hunting, knowing wooded areas and sleight of hand, Owl Man has only continued to practice these methods to defeat criminals. That or those who he just thinks look like bad people, whichever comes first
  • Peak Human: Peak Human strength, agility and reflexes, IDK what this means, but it sounds cool.

Name: Donald Trumpman

  • Bio:Donald Trumpman is a badass. Due to the sheer high level of his badassness, no words can be applied to describe him in terms of being a badass. Little is known about his past. The only known thing is that he used to be a human and after mysteriously gaining the following listed powers and equipment, he went on travelling across the universe, challenging skilled fighters and magicians across the known space, emerging as the victor in all of his previous fights.
  • Description:Looks like Donald Trump.
  • Short:Gordon Ramsay's kitchen knife. Previously owned by the British demigod Gordon Ramsay. A normal looking kitchen knife that cuts through all sort of armors and bodies. Although incredibly powerful, this weapon's form is akin to an ordinary kitchen knife.
  • Mid:The Big Ass Blade. A big bladed weapon that is magical in nature. The blade, made of hardened uber-Battlefanium (A very powerful material), is blessed by the church of Wass, granting its additional damage to magical individuals. The blade of this weapon can transform to the blade of whatever bladed weapon Trumpman wants, ranging from Katana, Dao and other ancient swords to Chainsaw and Deathstroke's cutlass. However, this blade must have existed before and shouldn't be larger than Trumpman himself.
  • Long:"Wall". A non-lethal but incredibly useful weapon that comes in the form of a Dragunov sniper rifle. It has 10-round detachable box magazine (similar with real life Dragunov), while Trumpman carries 5 more rounds. When someone is shot by the rifle, he will experience no physical trauma, however, Trumpman will have the ability to block one of the victim's abilities with an outer-dimensional wall at his will.
  • Special:The One-shot Pistol. A pistol that takes the form of a normal M1911. As the name suggests, the pistol only has 1 round. However, the round is packed with the magical ability to automatically lock a target, bypass any physical/mythical/magical/etc defenses and plunge into the target's body, continuing to causing internal explosions until the target is dead. Trumpman regards this pistol as a final resort. When fired, the pistol will become the husk of a normal pistol, therefore can still function as a blunt weapon.
  • Iconic:Mushroom ray. Trumpman can emit Mushroom ray from his nails and launch it out of his armor via a super complicated device installed on the hands. Where ever the ray hits, corrosive, poisonous fungoid will immediately kick off growing. The total area covered by the fungoid will depend on the total length of the time the ray is concentrated on. When directly applied to organic material, even a tiny segment of the fungoid is deadly enough to cause dizziness and hallucination, even causing death if the victim isn't strong enough or is in weak condition. When applied to non-organic material,however, the effect depends on the total time of concentration and the total square infected with the fungoid (Example: A tiny segment won't do much, however when a large area is covered with the fungoid or a specific area is under the ray's attack for a long time, the effect will be quick and obvious). In addition, the mushroom ray is especially effective against non-magical material, while magic-related material can slow down the rotting procedure at different pace depending on the level of magic applied.
  • Armor:ABGIERHUISDAFO Armor and energy shield. Donald can create an huge energy ball in which he stands. The Ball can protect him from all kinds of attacks, however, it also blocks him from attacking others outside the ball. However the ball can move and is invisible for others, therefore he can still walk around and observe. When the ball isn't activated, he wears ABGIERHUISDAFO Armor to protect him. This armor, with outlook similar to Iron Man armor and developed by some of the greatest scientists and magicians across the universe, grants him with the ability to reverse incoming magical attacks into normal bullets (the number of which depends on the power of the attacks). With this procedure done, the armor acts like a hardened bullet-proof vest, withstanding massive damage. However, like all the strong armors, the vest has a limitation --- huge number of bullets will destroy it.
  • Abilities#1:Mind hacking. Using a computer installed inside the armor and linked to his senses through complicated stuff, Trumpman can read the minds of his opponents through "mind-hacking" automatically done by the computer (he must see the target in order to read his/her/its mind), regardless of their species or background. Like most similar abilties, this power also makes Trumpman's mind hard to infiltrate.
  • Abilities#2:Pissing off/threatening/upsetting people. Skilled in languages, Trumpman can speak every language in the multiverse well, when combined with his knowledge of the past of his opponents through reading their minds, he can come up with things that will piss off/ threat/upset/etc his opponents.
  • Abilities#3:"Make Trumpman great again !" (Regeneration). Regularly taking bath in the Pit of Wandering Skeleton (a magical pit located on the edgiest part of the universe), Trump maintains the power to regenerate from wounds. Conventional wounds, such as shotgun blasts,rifle blasts and any other wounds caused by weak non-magical weapons can be regenerated in seconds, while magical wounds take longer, depending on the power of the magic applied. Dismemberment regeneration and decapitation regeneration takes longer as well. However, he can't regenerate from severe physical damage and magical damage that may instantly destroy his brain, such as RPG blast,letc.

Name: Serenity Northwind Ba'athazar III

Age: Thousands of years old, but doesn't look a day over 18

Sex: Yes plz UwU ;3! Oh, uh...female.

Favorite Song: Hello Kitty Nightcore (The specific one is by Frisk_Wolf_Draw)

Favorite Food: Strawberry bubblegum!

Badass Level: Like, 69,420 lul

Bio: Serenity had always been a totally super cool mage! She grew up in medieval Japan as a part squid-girl part kitsune hybrid where she could turn into both a fox and a squid, and sometimes a hybrid of both! She was really popular around Japan, especially around the coast. She was recognized as the queen of the waters, powerful enough to woop Posiedon into submission without breaking a sweat. She was also super nice and a total seductor of the ladies (Becuase of those tentacles UwU ;3). She had been with just about every lady in the south side of Japan. The people of Japan always held festivals for her just because she was so great and awesome and amazing. The only one that didn't like her was the emperor, and he was really mean to her and he bullied her a lot. She eventually killed him and took his spot on the throne, and everyone applauded her while she was doing it!

She was able to rule over Japan for a bunch of years stating her own rules so that everyone was all free and happy. She was so great at being the ruler of Japan that it caught up to her, though, and posiedon, being a spoiled loser, decided to team up with his Olympian family to get revenge on her because they were all just super jealous of how cool she was. They were totally angry with her. At first they called an assassin after her, but every one that came her way either ended up dead or seduced by her. Even the God of death couldn't resist her charm. Finally they had called on drastic measures and opened a huge portal in the middle of her castle, and she got sucked into a parallel dimension.

Though, this dimension hopping wasn't going to be the end of her story. Using her cunning intellect she was able to make herself her own dimension hopping device, with the help of some lovers and friends she made in this new world. She then began to hop from world to world. Eventually she just totally forgot about going back to her own Japan kingdom because, like, she had to save like fifty worlds on a daily basis. It was tiring stuff, but thankfully she had aqcuired a lot of companions to help her with, uh...stress relief. (;3).

Description: Sort of a mix between an inkling and a kitsune. She has fox ears coming out of her head along with two tentacle pigtail things that go down to her middle back. Think like Hatsune Miku's hair. She's also got, like, flawless skin. She has a fox tail poking out of her butt, which is orange while her weird tentacle hair is silver and kinda shiny looking. Her eyes change colors naturally and go from blue to green to red to purple in that order, though sometimes her emotions end up changing the order. She also wears like super cute clothes like a tanktop and short shorts that show off a lot of skin. (So ecchi UwU)

Short: She has two claw glove thingies. Think about it like Freddy Krueger's finger knives and she kind of has those. Except these finger knives aren't made with nightmares or anything like that, but instead they're made from radiant metal and energy. They were created by a fallen angle that she helped rescue and she decided to help her out by making her a super cool weapon. These claws are made with Heaven Metal, which is a super cool metal which weight practically nothing and can cut lots of things.

Mid: She has a highly pressurized ink handcannon thingy that basically never runs out of ink. It just has an infinite supply of ammo and shoots ink at painfully pressurized levels, so much so that it could probably put a whole through ya if you're too close. It's got a loooot of knockback, though. She can also kinda use it to shoot herself up into the air but not really. (Kinda like a Splatoon gun)

Long: She's got an explosive spear that she can throw at her enemies. The spear homes in on the first enemy it sees and is kinda heat-seeking. Though she doesn't need that because she's a master with it in the first place. Duh! The spear crates a small explosion on contact with anything it touches which cna be compared to that of C4. The spear has to fly about ten feet before it can explode, but that doesn't mean it can't stab!

Special: A microphone which counts as an ultra amplifier. Basically if she even mutters into the thing, it sounds like she's yelling. Scream into it and anyone in a twenty foot radius will have ringing in their ears and might go deaf. The feedback from it would probably make your ears bleed. Hell if you're too close it might pull a Sindel from Mortal Kombat and kill you, but you have to be pretty close to do that. If you're not close enough it's basically useless as a weapon, merely a distraction.

Iconic: Her special Talisman of power, of course! This bad boy can send up a one time use shield that will block a would be fatal attack, but it can only be used once. After that it can be used as a normal shield but it won't block fatal attack nearly as well. it can also shoot beams out of it. Beams made of rainbows! It's also pretty hot but it wouldn't kill you unless it's continued exposure.

Armor: She actually has invisible armor at all times. It's tied to a Jade ring she has around her finger. It sets up an invisible shield barrier thing around her body that can take quite a bit of abuse before disappearing. Get the ring off her finger and it goes away completely, but it's not like she's going to let you do that!

Abilities:

Shapeshifting: Serenity has three forms of which she can turn into. Her Kitsune form turns her into a giant fox, where she's limited to her surprising mobility, razor sharp claws and teeth. She is super fast and super sneaky while in this form but can't do anything with weapons. Her squid form is also super quick, but it can fly! ...don't ask how. Unfortunately the only thing the squid can do is tackle and splurt out ink, but inking herself gets her all embarassed and she doesn't wanna.

Master Charmer: Serenity is super good at charming and flirting with others to convince them to do things for her. She's done it with peasants all of her life, and she didn't even have to use her tentacles as leaverage for most of those times! She has a silver tongue about her and is, like, totally charming. Though her charm is more effective on wamen and less on men because she is actually super gay

Water Magic Stuff: Going to keep this short and simple. Serenity can basically spawn a bunch of water whenever she needs to and can manipulate it just as easily. Though she can't exactly spam it and flood the whole arena, because that'd tire her out too much and she hates getting tired. The most that she'd spawn is an olympic sized pool or two.

Name: Marcus Rogers Clark

Background:

"Let's see son, I appeared in the forests of the great state of Pennsylvania one day in what you call 1760. I came strutting out wearing nothing but a three-corner and buckskins while carrying a hammer and a horn of gunpowder. Lucky enough for me, it seemed that some of these 'English' people were having problems with French and Indian people... I threw my lot in this with those English folks, and next thing you know, 3 years have passed and the English emerged Victorious~ Hey, I reckon that's great; so I use my heroism to put my hammer skills to good use crafting metal into useful things.

It was only then that they actually asked me for a name... so I came up with Tobias Wright. That's when the stuff got weird... these people started throwing hissy fits about something as miniscule as taxes. I wouldn't know, I've never had to pay any~ *bombastic laughter* So where was I... ah yes, so they started to slowly do this rebellion thing, and I'm very much an establishment type character, but something about these folks drew me to them and I wound up using my skills to help them out. Next thing you know, I wind up in some ragtag army led by this Virginia Planter who thought he could avoid being awesome by being honest and humble. I followed this dude across the frozen Delaware into Trenton and had some fun at Princeton too. Then Saratoga kinda ruined things for me after Arnold left. If he could betray everything who else would? So... I kinda sat by the wayside while I gathered myself, and the next thing you know; it's been four years and my presence is requested for the Yorktown Campaign, and being a man who acts when asked, I get up and start rallying those around me for this final butt-kicking the redcoats needed. I felt a thrill I'd never felt before when I charged up those embankments with a flashing bayonet... yeah, Yorktown didn't end the war, but it ended my piece in it.

So, you know 30 years go by and everything's looking up, but then the redcoats come back for round two! *pounds the table* Dangit I was busy aging and they were busy with Napoleon, but apparently that leaves us too much free time! I arrange my little unit and get myself a good spot as a Captain before setting off for some campaign into Canada. That was a disaster straight from the start, but then again who am I to complain about military disasters? That pretty much ruined everything for me again, so I drifted off into the backwoods somewhere where I lived for about 7 years before dying in 1820. Fun times right? Wrong! I went through my first changing, and changing my friend, Is painful! Not only for me but those around me.


So: new body, new personality... new name! What better than to be name and disturbingly good looking redhead than Able Matthews huh? I remember it all, so for twenty years I tought myself the tactics set down by the gods Jomini and Clausewitz themselves: logistics, mapping, all of it. When I finally found the courage to put this on display we'd broken out in war with Mexico over that thing we call Texas nowadays... and it was Glorious. I started out as a Lieutenant with absolutely no academy training before hand, made myself a Captain, and then made a fool out of myself in my first decent engagement... yeah, not proud of that. Got myself sidelined for that. However, have no fear. I taught myself again and again, so that when the War Between the States arrived, I was way more competant. 'Lemme at 'em.' I said, but no you make one mistake and people judge you forever. I could have totally won that debacle at Bull Run if I'd been allowed to use my men! Instead, they reward my patriotism and my hard work studying by giving me some unimportant Western Post... lame, am I right? Well, I was somewhere around Kentucky/Tennessee serving under some feller who became President in future (I voted for him... twice, I'll admit that). That's when he went on the offensive! Yes, a chance to show off all my learning and adaption to past mistakes! I got to have my fun plowing along the Cumberland River with that guy, just on going and going until some Confederate fellow surprised all of us with Shiloh. We won... somehow; and then it was mostly a time of shuffling, staring contests, and other things because nobody wanted to fight a full-on pitched battle. Then that October the Confederates attacked again, where myself and my boys played a heavy hand in repulsing that attack! *bombastic laughter* Hoooweee that was a better day. I generally try my best not to get wounded-in-action while in front of people because that would reveal some secrets that people don't need to know... but that happened anyway, and despite promising to secrecy someone went and blathered about it 'cause next thing you know I'm being repeatedly shipped back and forth between there and Washington being questioned and judged because I'm abnormal. I could have been out there doing things at Vicksburg or something but instead I was stuck in a bunch of superstition and bureaucracy. In the end, after so much paperwork, promises, Bible things... I learned that man from before had been transferred to overall command. So, if they wouldn't give me a battle command, I'd ask for at least ask for a place on that man's staff. They gave it to me, and made me a Brevet Major too. It wouldn't be a very high-ranking position, but I would be able to offer my input every once in a while. Yeah, it was a good life. I gave the suggestion of tunneling beneath beneath the lines with explosives during that debacle at the Crater. I have no doubts that I wouldn't handled it better than that Burnside fellow, but I wasn't there so I guess I can't really judge him. During the Campaigns in the Shenandoah Region I was wholeheartedly in favor of Scorched Earth. The sooner they gave up the sooner we could start fixing things. It isn't exactly humane but it's war for a reason... Anyway I found myself at Appomatox Courthouse when the war ended, if you look closely at some painted interpretations of it you may find me in them, I dunno. I didn't exactly stick out. *there's a pause as he sips from something and coughs* Yeah, I did mostly administrative duties after that. I had quite the following in Washington and the Military. After all, by all means I should have been the perfect combatant: possibly immortal, a decent shot, and occasionally intelligent. The only problem was that I was a secret... I was something they couldn't afford to lose. Heck, I was a national secret until at least the 1870s. It was then revealed there were others like me. I knew this of course, but why tell them? It was during this time where I used some political oomph to get myself a secondary combat position as a lowly garrison commander with a Colonelcy to my name. All fine and dandy until I underestimated the enemy I was ordered to route out. The Cav got surrounded and destroyed, but I managed to get most of my garrison away from it all while perishing in the process. Not exactly Medal of Honor material, but maybe a low-budget action flick or something.


So Yeah, new body, new personality, new name: Travis Williams. Classy right? Well, let me tell you... I don't know if it was something with the environment at the time, but Williams, aka me, was kind of a psychopath. My first act of psychopathy was to petition the government (who by now knew about that bodily process called changing) to get myself transferred over to the blue waters of the navy. Fun times, became a Navy Captain, got my own cruiser. Probably would have enjoyed it way too much if it turned out to be like those foreign cartoons where the ship turns into a living female. *bombastic laughter* Yeah, the ship was good, crew was decent at their jobs; I got to sail around and look cool, make an impression on the world that America was back in the game! We are no longer attacking each other and have moved on to gazing at the outside world! It was honestly kinda boring though, until the Spanish blew up that ship in Havana harbor... okay, I guess I can't say the Spanish did it. We don't actually know that, the newspapers just wanted a reason to start reporting on a war again and the McKinley administration bit. So, I was hitched up with Admiral Dewey in the Pacific and we all went and demolished the fleet in the Philippines. That war ended quickly, I guess because we were all tired, but I wound up hanging around the Philippines with absolutely no regrets about the war, then they rose up because we'd basically replaced Imperialism with Imperialism and they weren't too keen about that. A couple of land-aimed broadsides later and I think I fixed it, but I was relieved of that command afterwards for my actions. Needless to say, that didn't bode well with the amount of sanity I had when I was Travis, and it was roughly 1903 when that finally gave in... I learned later they'd actually been planning on offering me command of one of the new St. Louis class armored cruisers, but by the time I learned I was different and didn't care about the navy.


Who did I change into there? Ohoho! You are looking at him son! This beautiful human in front of you... okay, I'm not so beautiful now, but I was back then. I was brown-haired and uh... thinner. I transferred back to Army Command, got myself made a Brigadier mostly by stressing my long time of service to this fair nation, and in the end I think they gave it to me just to get rid of me. Hey, I'll take it. They even gave me my own brigade just so I'd leave them alone, at least that's how I took it anyway. It was a grand time, and it was there that I met the woman who would be my wife. Her name was Constance and she was as stubborn as they come. I however, developed cold feet for the first time in my existence and didn't actually tell her how I felt until the Great War yanked me away on a chain. The government gave me a third chance at a combat posting underneath Pershing and the AEF, and my brigade and I played some heavy hand in breaking the Germans in the Meuse-Argonne, and honestly there isn't a different group of guys I'd rather have been with. That was where I'd meet the man who would be my best friend and best man at my wedding: Harold Archibald. I'd never gotten close to others like me, but I was drawn to Harold during our time together in France/Belgium/One of those places. I suppose it was how different we were: Harold was molded as a Classic Officer, rather cold and aloof, but he was more brilliant than I would ever be. It was fairly easy to convince him to come over to the States for my wedding, and he also became the Godfather to my daughter Allison. Later on in the 20s we had our second child, a boy name Thomas. I stayed "on call" with the Army, but I spent as much time as I could with my two kids.


The Second World War changed everything. After Pearl I was called back up with my rank reinstated and immediately sent to the UK, my daughter became a WAAC, my son joined the infantry, and my wife went to the workforce. We were all doing our part for the greater good of the war effort, but one by one everything was taken from me... Shortly after I arrived in the UK, Archie was killed in Africa (I never felt the same around his successor, the guy's way too outgoing and friendly) and my wife was killed in a nonwork-related incident in '42 shortly after. My daughter lost the plane she was transporting and disappeared alongside her crew. I never thought anything could blunt the way I look at the world, but that all did it. By the time Operation Torch rolled around in 1943 I'd become something nobody wanted to mess with, a dark shadow that permeated all my working. I'd become something cold and ruthless that frightened men on sight. I hadn't studied German Tactics in my grief, and my Great War logic cost me many good people in North Africa too just keep piling on how I felt. In the end, I was sidelined in Italy alongside some guy who I kinda shared a name with (confusing as all heck, mind you), and we just kinda plodded along pushing the Germans and Italians back. In the end, I asked for a position working with the Italian Royalists who'd decided to switch sides, a job for which I found myself better suited. Despite the misgivings everybody had about them, I used connections to get the group I was advising some up-to-date equipment and it is miraculous how much that changed their spirits. I'd become good friends with them by the time the war ended. I'd liked to have stayed, but sadly the home country called and I left them in good hands. I returned home to a son who was by now completely alien to me in both voice and action... so in the end we wound up parting ways, we were both unrecognizable to the other.

Back home, I developed a particular interest in the nuclear weapons that ended the war in the Pacific, and would often attend demonstrations and watch them. Of course, there was more reasoning behind it than just fascination. I wanted to know how much my body could take before it would go through the changing process. So uh... one day I decided to go and break some rules by placing myself within extremely lethal range of the weapon. For all normal purposes, judging by what had caused Able's death, it probably should have killed me. However, I suppose that maybe I'd gotten tougher, for when the bomb went off my skin turned rather crispy and I came down with what should have been fatal radiation poisoning according to the doctors I knew, but my body pulled some miracle again by either self-destructing on a cellular and then regenerating healthy cells or somehow correcting all the damaged data in my cells, I honestly don't know and don't want to either, that stuff was above my head and my paygrade, and still is. Of course, it took me about a month to fully recover from this, and boy did I feel it. My body took it's darn time saving me from that: I had about two straight weeks of almost constant vomiting and bowel issues, fevers, and having my head split open by what felt like an axe. Even after that period, which supposedly should have killed a normal person, I spent three weeks feeling absolutely miserable and getting reprimanded for my stupidity. I told them that if it would make them feel better, I'd resign my position. They took that offer, and in roughly 1947 or 1948 I became a civilian. However, the government just wasn't going to let me loose, they watched me a lot during that time, looking to see if I got others around me sick from being asymptomatic (luckily, I didn't).

Other than that, I didn't want any part of the Cold War or it's conflicts, and if I had my way I'd have stayed out of Korea to heal some more; but then they sacked MacArthur and replaced him with Ridgeway. Nothing against Ridgeway, of course, but my opinion of him wasn't as high as my regard for MacArthur. I wrote two letters that day: one to MacArthur with my condolences and one to President Truman asking him to get congress to reinstate me again. I'd recognized that by the call of the battlefield was doing it's hardest to remind me that it was my home and there was no running from it, and iterated that the nuclear incident wasn't my normal attitude or competence of action. I guess being some weird specimen won over their caution of putting a quote "idiot" back in the army. I got another promotion that day, getting my second star as I shipped out. I was okay with not having a unit command, I'd gotten used to it and sharpening my administrative skills in keeping our boys there supplied with what they needed when the normal quartermasters couldn't get things for them. That, and who would really want me in command of human lives when I'd gone and literally allowed myself to get nuked like I was Superman? I wound up working with the other General Clark again, and I wound down Korea with the same desk job as I'd started. I was going to ask for a rank reduction to get a more, err... fight-filled job, but it was requested of me to become an advisor/attaché type in West Germany. There I met prominent ex-German General and fellow non-human Arndt Hirsch. I'd known of Hirsch, of course, during his time goose-stepping for the Mustache Model, but this was the first time I'd seen him not being hindered by said mustache man. He and I worked together on a rather stalwart defensive plan for the Western Germans should the T-55s ever come smashing across the border. It was also there that I met Walther Schmidt, another from East Germany.


When Vietnam rolled around in the 60s, I was on my downhill run in my eyes, and I said I'd only do anything in the direct combat zone if there was absolutely no one else. As it turns out, I didn't have to set foot in Vietnam until 1970-ish, and even then I spent more time handcuffed to a desk than out in the field where I felt like I should have been, but in the end I found that I had a knack for working with people not of my nationality. Maybe I was a good example of what Capitalism creates? I had feelings, I felt loss. I wasn't any different from them. Or maybe I was an outlier and they were just all nice to me? When my building came under siege from some crazed remnants of Victor Charlie, it became the first time I'd ever fired a shot in anger at someone since World War I, and it pleased me to know I hadn't degraded much over the years. I was one of the earliest to leave Saigon afterwards, and it was then that I put forth my papers for retirement. I'd had a good run in this body, and I quite liked it and wanted to avoid as much wear-and-tear to it as possible until the next changing. They finally accepted my papers, but not before giving me my third star as I guess kind of a parting gift.

I retired to Pennsylvania, to the same woods I'd originally crawled out from, got myself a house, and settled in for what I supposed was the reminder of my time like this. The last time I donned a uniform was during some minor crisis in Central and South America, before putting it away for good hopefully... and that roughly brings us up to the Present I suppose...

Though, I will admit during my extensive service there was a few weird trips: That time I accidentally time traveled to the Battle of Grunwald and shot a bunch of Teutonic Knights (during my retirement).. Oh, and I can't forget that time the Aliens invaded at Roswell, New Mexico back in the late 40s, that nearly killed me and did kill a good few of those who were with me... Oh, and lastly it turns out there are alternate universes, because somewhere out there, I met a female version of me who has aged way better than I have... No, I'm serious, she's gorgeous."

---

Reporter: So, wait... what the heck? How is any of that last stuff possible? Why mention all that at the end?

Clark: If I told you that before my life story would you believe it?

Reporter: Err.. no.

Clark: So, after hearing the truth about my life, does it sound more plausible?

Reporter: Yes, Yes... I guess? *He coughed* Anyway, why are you telling the world now? Aren't you and the others like International Secrets?

Clark: I mean, I suppose I am, that we are; but I believe it's time that America knows I'm out here. I've done things for this country that make me proud, and some things that I should probably be ashamed of but not. The others may value their secrecy, but I sure don't.

Reporter: Of course, I give you my word that I make no references to a source other than military or government official.

Clark: *He laughs bombastically* Of course of course, my good man.


(Back to the Form)-----

Appearance: Mark is around Five Feet Seven Inches tall. His face is ruddy and cragged, and his eyes a blazing bright blue. This is complimented by his thinning grey hair and a salty-colored beard and mustache combo that frame his face in such a way to give him a wizened, authoritarian like air. His rather large gut hangs off his abdomen to give him a jolly physical appearance. He wears a ragged tan peaked officer's cap on his head that is cocked to the side, and a lit Cuban Cigar is constantly dangling from his mouth. He wears an olive colored collared shirt made of garbadine, and a brownish necktie. Over that he wears a dark brown sweatervest, giving him almost a grandpa-like look to him. He'll occasionally wear a olive overcoat if the weather dictates so. His pants are also Olive Drab. His shoes however, are shiny and black leather shoes.

Level of Awesomeness: 'MERICA! tier

Age: 236 Years (Actual), 64 (Physical)

Sex: Male

Favorite Song: The Army Goes Rolling Along/Goodnight Saigon (by Billy Joel)/Leningrad (by Billy Joel)

Favorite Food: That mystery "meat" they force you to eat when you do military service.


Close
Refreshed & Refurbished Model 1860 Light Cavalry Saber

A weapon almost as antiquated as Clark himself~ A relic of by gone times strengthened by both Arndt Hirsch (German Counterpart), Saysuma (Japanese Counterpart), and few others into a weapon that is both fashionable to occasionally wear, and strong enough to go steel-on-whatever with more advanced weapons... or for gouging the eyes of idiots who somehow got past his expert shooting skills.


Mid
Model 1921 Thompson

50-round drum, foregrip, .45 ACP; Give Al Capone that freako smile and make most accountants and other people wet themselves before briefly wondering who's this fat military man before they're blown away.

Long
M79 Blooper

A yes, the finest weapon to ever be put in the hands of a power hungry American. A 40mm Grenade Launcher capable of firing Explosive, Smoke, Buckshot, Flechette, and even Illumination Rounds for chasing the darkness and the creepy critters that inhabit it away.

Special
Brian Connors

Formerly known as Sir Harold Archibald. Brian Connors is the tall, stately "successor" to Archie's role as representative of the British Empire. Unlike his predecessor, Connors speaks with the Accent of the British Pacific and does his best to keep himself away from tumultuous frontline combat, preferring to exercise his planning and pseudo-foresight instead. However, his calm and positive nature has led those few mortals who know of his existence to crown him the wisest of those like him who inhabit the Earth. Those few who don't buy American Propaganda also consider him the most dangerous. This makes him the perfect counter-balance to the rather violence-oriented and bull-headed Clark. This contact, via earpiece/headseat/payphone/etc allows Connors to act as Clark's tiny voice of reason; which Clark himself appears to mostly lack.

Iconic
Duel Colt Single Action Armies

"Son make peace with yourself, before I force it." A relic of both Clark's past self, past victories, past defeats, and possibly past war crimes. Depends which history book you read...


Abilities
*Rather Rapid Regeneration: A genetic ability held by Clark's Race that allows rapid physical and mental recovery. This is the same guy who back in the 1940s put himself at the near fatal point of a Nuclear Explosion just to see how well he could handle and recover from the blast and trauma of being violently torn to pieces and mutated at the atomic level. Needless to say, he got extremely sick, and it took him about a month to fully reform... which I guess could be considered impressive? It's good enough that he can shrug off most minor wounds rather quickly, but the more serious wounds don't recover as quickly; and as his body get's worn down the longer it takes to fully heal itself.
*Deviant Deadeye: Clark is an absolute master with the handgun. However, occasionally he taunts his target with his superiority, using bullets to place his foes in rather embarrassing situations to get their dander up. Because if Mark knows one thing: It's that Angry people make stupid mistakes... mistakes that cost them their life.
*Out with a Bang!: When the body becomes so overwhelmed with either constant damage that the regeneration process basically short circuits, or should he simply grow tired of his current form; his body erupts with the force of a Davy Crockett Tactical Nuke. The only recorded use of it in actual combat came in 1941 in North Africa upon when Sir Harold Archibald cut his promising life "short" by detonating himself after receiving multiple wounds that overrode his regeneration. Because for his kind there is not permanent death; there is just temporary death and like a month or two of rebuilding.
**Generally, he goes to a special room built just for surviving and containing the blast. Also, there is no radiation, just the explosive power.

IsaacWinters
My world is fire and blood, a place without peace or mercy, and it's my fault. But maybe, just maybe, I can fix it. I just need to go back and try again.
— Isaac Darkstone


*Name: Isaac Winters
*Age: 17
*Sex: Male
*Favorite Song: "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails
*Favorite Food: MREs (Old)/Pizza (Young)
*Bio: Isaac Winters was once a teenager with simple telekinesis who tried to become the world's greatest hero. But his hubris got the better of him, and soon the world collapsed into anarchy due to his failure. Driven mad with rage and grief, Isaac traveled back in time to mentor his younger self, hoping to forge his powers for greatness. Under his older self's mentoring, Isaac intends to become the greatest hero the world has ever seen, and will stop at nothing to prevent the cataclysm he was warned of.

  • Weapons and Equipment:
    **Close-Range: A Future Blaster, a laser pistol that fires red-hot plasma beams.
    **Mid-Range: "Hellfire", a double-barreled shotgun that fires incendiary rounds.
    **Long-Range: "Mona", A fully-automatic laser assault rifle that the older Isaac named after the love of his life, who tragically perished near the start of the apocalypse.
    **Special: Time Grenades, special grenades that send anyone or anything caught in the blast radius back ten seconds. For this scenario, Isaac has six on him.
    **Iconic: The Soultaker Blade, a cursed katana that absorbs the souls of those killed with it and siphpns the lives they would have led to the user, giving them a healing factor in combat, meaning that everytime Isaac suffers a seemingly fatal wound, the blade sacrifices one of those souls to heal him.
    **Armor: Isaac has no armor, relying instead on his telekinesis to stop attacks, though he does wear a bullet-proof vest.
    *Abilities:
    **Telekinesis: Isaac has immensely powerful TK powers, and he's capable of lifting a car, deflecting bullets with a wave of his hand, and even making someone's head explode if he focuses hard enough.
    **Expert In CQC: Isaac has learned over three dozen martial arts, making him an immensely dangerous up-close combatant to tangle with.
    **Telepathic Link: While he's still not strong enough to harness his telepathy on others, Isaac has a psychic link with his older self, giving him crucial advice and tactical info that he might otherwise miss out on.

  • Name: xXsefiroFintheshadoUsXx
  • Favorite song: Darkness of my Mind by Trivium
  • Favorite food: Melon Ramune soda
  • Age: Don't ask a girl her age
  • Sex: Female
  • Badass Level: Incalculable
  • Bio: An alternate universe clone of Elizabeth Neko, she was a catgirl born to the same parents. Unfortunately, this version of her parents were incredibly abusive, regularly beating her and refusing to feed her. She eventually ran away from home, joining a criminal syndicate and discarding her old name, taking xXsefiroFintheshadoUsXx as her new name. She descened fully into evil, even taking slaves for lesbian orgies. Her wanton depravity, however, was never reflected in her demeanor; she continued to be upbeat, perky, and energetic at all times. Her insanity eventually changed the color of her hair and fur to black, giving her her current look. One of her jobs led to her killing both her parents, and her nearly orgasmic ecstasy at doing so activated their final project: a way to travel between universes. Addicted to the pleasure, she crossed countless universes, seeking out and killing her parents in every alternate timeline. Her most recent hop had her meet Elizabeth Neko, and the two rapidly fell for each other; even learning that they're technically the same person did not dampen their passion.
  • She also does not answer to any nicknames. You brought this on yourself, Skully.
  • Description: The character has the proportions of a female human child, and has cat ears and a tail in addition. Her eyes are shaped like a cat's, with one gold and one violet. The fur on her ears and tail, as well as her hair, is pitch black. Black like her souuuuuuuul
  • Short: Katana and Ninjatoe (Ninjato): A gift from a samuria (samurai) clan she assisted and the spoils of a ninja she defeated, these are her primary short-range weapons. Made from thousand-folded nipple (Nippon, aka Japanese) steeel (steel) and infused with the essense (essence) of darkness, the two swards (swords) are entirely black, and are sharp enough to slice a bullet into several pieces with a single stroke.
  • Mid: Swordstaff: A double-ended sword, about the length of a quarterstaff. The entire thing is double-bladed for maximum edge, and has three handles, one at each quarter.
    • Here's an ASCII illustration for maximum 14-year-old:
    • <==-==-==-==>
  • Long: Lightsaber Crossbow: An electromagnetic crossbow that shoots lightsaber blades. Has an emitter mechanism which only requires power, and "pinches" the blade with a magnetic field.
  • Special: Hallucinogenic Molotov: Made from flammable plant alcohol, when the liquid inside catches fire it releases odorless vapors that cause extremely vivid hallucinations involving all five senses. Great for parties.
  • Iconic: Dual Zweihanders: Two Dragonslayer-sized swords, which she duel welds(dual wields) in one hand each, becuz (because) she is really stronk (strong). The left-hand Zweihander shoots fire and the right-hand zweihander shoots lighting, because they're magic, shut up.
  • Armor: A maid outfit made from a vibranium-adamantium alloy cloth. Don't ask how it works.
  • Abilities:
    • Power Copying: Can copy the power of any enemy, and can only copy the powers of those she recognizes as her living enemies. She lies about this, telling people that she can copy anyone's power, because she views everyone as her enemy. It's nothing personnel.
    • Shadow Control: Able to control and absorb shadow, and can create solid shadows.
    • Corrupting Presence: Steeped in evil and edge, her soul is so corrupt it can distort the space around her. Air turns to poison, water to acid, good to evil, normies to Appel, and other such monstrous perversions. It does not work fast, but cannot be stopped. As she is already evil, she is immune to these corruptions, as well as other toxins.

  • Name: Elizabeth Neko
  • Favorite song: Lollipop
  • Favorite food: Strawberry Ramune soda
  • Bio: Elizabeth Neko, she the cutest catgirl. :3 Her parents were super nice and loved to support her cause she was cute and would bring light! She became a protector of the weak. She eventually became a pop idol with lots of fans, having even a harem of cute girls but always just hugging and kissing and holding hands cause she was pure! Eventually she was offered to become queen of the world but didn't want to cause she wanted to be a kitteh of the ppl \(^-^)/ Though some people didnt like her cause she was pure and good she always made friends with her with because they actually loved her. 1 day she came across xXsefiroFintheshadoUsXx and the two instantly fell in love sure she was her but she was the only right one 4 her!
  • Alisases: Cutest Neko~, Queen Lizzy, Kitty Lizy, Bethy
  • Description: She is a cute young girl but has cat ears and tail. Her eyes are also kitty like one is gold and the other sky blue. Her hair is white to show how pure she is!
  • Short: Ninjato and katana: A gift from a samurai clan and ninja clan after she made the two stop fighting and become best of friends. Made from over thousand-folded Nippon steel and infused with the essence of light the two swords are entirely white and are sharp enough to slice a bullet into several pieces with one slice.
  • Mid: Double bladed naginata: A double-ended naginata is twice as long as a normal naginate, but the blades are also twice as long.
  • Long: Light Pistol: A laser pistol powered by light which burns through anything.
  • Special: Healing Potion: A potion that heals everything and tastes like strawberries, can only be used once per fight.
  • Iconic: Magic Staff: A staff fueled by her pureness. She can blast superpowerful Kamehameha beams with it can also be used as a very strong club
  • Armor: A lolita dresst made from a vibranium-adamantium alloy cloth.
  • Abilities:
    • Power Copying: Can copy the power of anyone who wants to be friends with her, since everyone wants to be her friends she can use their power.
    • Light Control: Able to control and absorb light, and can create solid light constructs.
    • Purifying Presence: Steeped in goodness and purity, her soul is so pure it can purify the space around her. Poison to air, acid to water, evil to good, enemies into friends, and other such purifying changes. It does not work fast, but cannot be stopped.

The Arena[]

All warriors will be herded into the vast arena that is visually similar to that academy from K. I have posted the above images to give a clearer image as to how the arena will look for voting purposes. All warriors will be separated by an equal distance from each other and will be forced to look around for each other. Food, water, electricity and other luxuries of modern life are still running throughout the borderline small city as the warriors need time to rest and eat in between battles or for their own personal use to kill their targets. The goal is naturally to kill or disable any possible competition that one faces throughout the arena. And I do mean disable is a choice, you do not need to kill your target, you just need to weaken them to the point they can no physically continue battling. So, leaving them as a head and torso is a viable option presented to all warriors in the arena. As explained in chat and in the item listings below, weapons and various gear will be scattered throughout the academy for users to personally use against each other or for their own personal benefit, I make this clear, warriors do not know the properties of the magical/iconic weapons. Weapons that are more practical like Flamethrower are more straight forward in their approach but serve as basically buffed up super weapons. Meanwhile those that are less straight forward like Cfp’s Film Reel can have much more passive or powerful abilities but are completely unknown or seem like normal tools. Points of Interest

  • The Academy Grounds
  • The Outer Forest
  • The Lake
  • The Dormitories
  • The Main Hall
  • Admin’s Manor
  • Wiki Shopping Center
  • The Tunnels
  • The Stadium

Random Drops

  • Note: These weapons will be randomly scattered around the arena. They may have influence on the votes, but for the most part they’re going to be here for a story element or joke. Votes could take into account the abilities of these tools, in particular for warriors that have reliance of improvisation or seem adept at the weaponry available.

Legendary Weapons

  • Spartan’s MP5: The legendary weapon that has been carried into many battles throughout the times of Deadliest Fiction. This weapon is equipped with infinite ammo capacity and fires high explosive rounds. Outfitted with several anime characters on the side. Never stop writing, Spartan, you’re one of the most iconic parts of the community
  • Leo’s Murder Knife: After several failed attempts at retrieval of this tool, it took us just asking for it to be gained. The infamous murder knife is a staple in the arsenal of Leo, with the ability to grant the warrior who possesses this weapon to insta-kill anyone once being stabbed by it. The knife can seemingly return to the wielder whenever requested.
  • Pach’s Tequila: Abandoned on the steps of the old chat, our security guards managed to obtain this fine vintage and brought it forth to be used in the arena. Or for a nice party. Users who drink this will have the ability to see into the future, but lose the ability to count for the duration of its effects
  • Drayco’s Flamethrower: This weapon was wielded by the most sane and patriotic man to ever be on the wiki. Capable of burning with the force of an exploding star, this weapon fires American colored flames with a range of over 50 feet. Perfect for clearing out commie foxholes or your Fourth of July BBQ.
  • The Ban Hammer: DOM, WE GOTTA DROP THE HAMMER. The weapon that has slain countless anons and users before being retired after The Great Anon Purge of 2018 is being brought out once more. Contact with this weapon will instantly ban the user that is deemed evil by the tool with the ability to even stun those who are in the general direction of the tool.
  • EA’s Tank: It’s a tank, adorned with various Monty memorabilia. I don’t what else to say here, it’s a literal tank, the only weakness is that you need to avoid gardens. Oh and you need to know how to drive one
  • Cfp’s Film Reel: Obtaining this item will weaken the user, but as time passes you will steadily become stronger with passing time. Eventually passing your initial threshold of power and achieving one of the most powerful beings in the arena. Before you’re power is suddenly reduced to a weakened state of your initial threshold.
  • Wildman’s Camera: Using this camera on a target will directly expose any weaknesses in fighting style or possible exploits. But the information will come from an unknown point in time during their battle.
  • BULGARIAN BANDAGES: WRAP THESE AROUND YOUR FISTS TO GAIN THE POWERS OF BULGARIAN STRONK. FULLY CAPABLE OF RIPPING MEN IN HALF AND IMMUNITY TO MAGIC. HIS MANILESS REPELS MAGIC CAUSE MAGIC IS FOR NERDS AND WE ARE STRONK.

Normal Weapons Scattered around the arena as expected in conjuction with the legendary weapons are random normie weapons for everyone to use. These weapons have no real special properties, but they will be available to all combatants for their own personal use. Below I have given some examples of the weaponry that can be found, but the weapons are not limited to these.

  • AA-12
  • Glock 17
  • Rapier
  • Energy Swords
  • Lightsabers
  • Knives
  • Harpoon Guns
  • MP40
  • M4A1
  • AK-47
  • Various firearms
  • Improvised weapons
  • Explosives
  • Stuff you kill people with, don't make it more complicated than it needs to be

Voting Requirements & Notes[]

  • Detailed votes will be the recommended version of voting on this match as each combatant will be competiting against each other as expected. Try to figure out whether internally or in your vote, the weaknesses and strengths of the respective warriors in this scenario
  • Alliances are entirely allowed in this battle simulation, but don't go voting for warriors and specific pairings unless its more clear in their bios or the warriors themselves that will inevitably end up together. So you can someone like Elizabeth and Fine will join, but don't construct scenarios where Trumpman will meet Cornelius and they will join forces no matter what.
  • Weapons are scattered around the arena, but their is no guarantee that warriors will end up picking certain weapons. None of the warriors in this battle know about the legendary weapons and or their effects, for the most part they look like normal weapons, minus some small design changes that have been detailed.
  • Do rankings for your votes as it'll make it easier to tally up the scores of the warriors involved.
  • All warriors will start at a distance from each other and will not be starting within several feet of each other. This is give a fair shake at the warriors less accustom to face to face combat and perhaps some time devise a strategy or find their opponents.
  • The security systems are up and running in the facility along with the water and electricity departments of the buildings, these can be destroyed or used by the warriors provide they wish to do so.
  • Votes must be written as to what placement each warrior will be assumed to be during their stay at the academy. Also, figured I should mention this, but EA's Cat Ops are in a group by default to help compensate for their weaker abilities indiviually compared to the rest of the competition. That and I just wanted normal-ish cats rather than abominations.
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