Hello everyone! I’ve been lurking for a while now (about a year), and I always wanted to make a battle but never had the courage to, but I finally worked up the courage to make a blog post, this is my first ever battle so please tell me if I did anything wrong or if there’s a better way to do this. But anyway, that’s enough about me, let’s talk about the two groups of warriors who will be fighting here today!
The Orcs: The savage monsters who make up most of Mordor's army from Lord of The Rings vs The Bandits: The thieves and brutes who wander around Skyrim stealing and killing from Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
Both groups, although just being the generic enemies who the heroes kill left and right throughout their journey, are very dangerous in their own right and won’t hesitate to make your day worse, and end it by ending your life!
Who……Is…….DEADLIEST?!!?!?!
Orcs (Lord of The Rings)[]
Orcs, also called Goblins, were the primary soldiers of both Dark Lords' armies, and their most common servants. Invented by Morgoth during the Years of the Trees of the First Age, they served him and later his successor, Sauron, in their aims to dominate Middle-earth. They were originally elves who were captured and tortured, being turned into these hideous creatures of pure terror and evil. They stood at roughly 4 to 5 feet and mostly relied on numbers to defeat their enemy.
Weapons[]
Short Range: Orc Scimitar
- The Orc Scimitar is a crude weapon that bears a somewhat similar appearance to our world’s scimitar, however it’s made from not the best materials and has a crude shape, meaning it’s very likely this weapon doesn’t have the same quality or power as our world’s scimitar. However to make up for its weak power, the orcs will commonly add poison to the blade to enhance the weapon.
Mid Range: Orc Spear
- The Orc Spear, much like the Orc Scimitar is a very crude weapon, it seems to have a barbed tip and is likely poisoned as well.
Long Range: Orc Bow
- The Orc Bow seems to be a crudely made shortbow that the Orc’s use for long range combat, it is very likely they also poison the arrows.
Special: Orc Axe
- The Orc Axe is a crudely made two handed axe with a heavy axe head. This may also be poisoned like the rest of their weapons.
Armor: Mixed
- For this battle, the orcs will be using a mix of armor, since they wear a ton of different types of patchwork armor, and it varies a lot. Their armor varies from fur, leather, patchwork chainmail, and patchwork plate armor. They also use both simple wooden shields in both round and square shapes. It is to note that their armor and shields don't seem to be of the highest quality at all and basic weapons seem to do better against Chainmail, and Plate than how they should if the armor was of decent quality, it also makes sense considering that their weapons also aren't high quality.
Bandits (Skyrim)[]
Bandits roam Skryim’s lands living a life of plunder and are one of the most common enemy types in Skyrim. They are most typically found in camps around Skyrim, like in caves or in fortresses. While some are forced into the life of the bandits, others choose it for the thrill and money. They wield a wide variety of weapons, ranging from bows, one-handed and two-handed melee weapons, and, on rare occasions, spells. Their apparel varies from light to heavy armor, and always consists of a cuirass and boots, and may include gauntlets, a helmet, or a shield as well.
Weapons[]
Short Range: Iron Sword
- The Iron Sword seems to be of decent quality and decently well kept for a bandit's weapon all things considered, however it’s reputation seems to be pretty negative, with Hold Guards commenting on how weak and unreliable it is, however despite this it gets the job done.
Mid Range: Iron Warhammer
- Again like the Iron Sword it seems to be of decent quality and decently well kept, the Iron Warhammer is a two handed weapon, like all warhammers, and although it’s the weakest warhammer, it would still probably hurt a ton to be hit by it.
Long Range: Long Bow with Iron Arrows
- The Long Bow is the weakest, but the fastest bow to shoot with because of its light weight in Skyrim. It is quite basic in appearance and follows a straight bow design. The Bandits using it will also be using Iron Arrows.
Special: Iron Battleaxe
- The Iron Battleaxe is a two handed battleaxe. Its appearance closely resembles real-world French boarding axes.
Armor: Mixed
- For this battle most of them will have their basic Light Armor, like in the early game, however the bandit chief which will act as a sort of leader, will have the basic Heavy Armor, those being Fur Armor and Iron Armor respectfully, some of them will also have Hide Shields.
X Factors[]
Before you read these, since we don’t know a ton of specific details on either, I had to make guesses on somethings, due to a lack of knowledge.
Training:[]
- The Orcs have very likely at least had some basic military training. It is unknown the specifics of it, or if they even had any training at all, but considering they are an army, can operate in a battle somewhat fine, and seem to somewhat follow orders, they likely at least had basic training. However with all that said they still fight pretty wildly and have mostly strength in numbers.
- The Bandits don’t seem to have any training, it is possible an ex member of the army could have become a bandit, however not even any voice lines imply this, it is of course possible but most bandits seem to be either people who couldn’t find a better job or people who are criminals for money.
Experience:[]
- The Orcs have likely to have fought at least with other Orcs before, with other Orcs killing other Orcs regularly for showing weakness, they also have fought regular people and soldiers in small attacks and seem to do pretty well against them, and fought in wars even if most of them died in them.
- The Bandits live a life of crime, they fight against pretty much anyone who comes by them and regularly terrorize people. Also with some bandit camps being in forts it’s possible they also fought against Stormcloaks or Imperials, however this is probably due to both sides being stretched thin with the civil war, or the fortresses were simply abandoned.
Brutality:[]
- The Orcs love to kill and torture anyone who isn’t them, hell sometimes they kill even what seems to be their friends because they were weak or possibly out of boredom. They’re the embodiment of evil and don’t hesitate to brutally kill any of their enemies.
- The Bandits will attack anyone on sight (although some will warn people first), and based on their voice lines they love to kill, some even killed their cousin’s cat. They seem to only care about money.
Courage:[]
- The Orcs are willing to retreat but normally don’t because of fear. There are a good number of Orcs who will stand their ground and die, but there’s even more who are cowardly and would run away.
- The Bandits seem just fine to charge at any enemy even when it’s seen as certain death, like against the Dragonborn. They will still attack them even if they are clearly better equipped, however this could be a game mechanic, but them being very courageous is also support by their voicelines, and most Bandits are Nords who believe that even if they die in battle they’ll go to Sovngarde so they don’t care about dying.
Tactics:[]
- The Orcs are far from tactical geniuses and most of their tactics relies on charging at the enemy until they die, however we also see the Orcs of the Misty Mountains also use basic guerilla warfare, and use stealth even if they weren’t very organized.
- The Bandits seem to only have basic tactics like charging, blocking attacks with shields, sometimes retreating to a more tactical position in the case of Archers.
Notes[]
While the bandits in Skyrim can use better armor and weapons, those appear when your character levels up, I chose to choose early game bandits because I figured it would be the most fair, if you guys disagree and think the Bandits absolutely get washed tell me, and I will update their weapons and armor.
This battle will be a 5v5, it will take place in the destroyed town of Helgen, where a small group of Orcs have made camp on one part of the town, meanwhile a small group of Bandits have also made camp in the destroyed town, expect on the other side of town. They will encounter each other in the middle of the town, the town has plenty of destroyed buildings and stuff to use for cover or to hide in.
For the Orcs, here are the gear they will carry
2 will have basic Orc Scimitars with Fur Armor and a wood shield (one being more circular while the other has a more square shield)
1 will have an Orc Bow with Leather Armor
1 will have an Orc Spear with Patchwork Chainmail Armor
1 will be their leader and have an Orc Axe with Patchwork Plate Armor
For the Bandits here is their gear
2 will have basic Iron Swords with Fur Armor and Hide Shields
1 will have a Long Bow with Iron Arrows and have Fur Armor
1 will have an Iron Warhammer with Fur Armor
1 will be the Bandit Captain and have an Iron Battle Axe with Iron Armor
Voting has ended
Standard Voting rules, a long paragraph with a decently detailed reasoning and edges are one vote, however a good rebuttal will drop that to half a vote, a short paragraph with weak reasoning and weak edges are half a vote, and bullshitting or just saying a name is not a vote, and will be ignored.
And please tell me if I did anything wrong, just be nice about it, remember this is my first battle
Battle[]
Orcs- 5
Bandits- 5
A tall, muscular orc sat on a piece of rubble. He wore iron armor and an iron-horned helmet with an iron battleaxe leaning against a damaged wall next to him. He had long black hair and a messy beard. His name was Mazosh, and he led a small bandit gang consisting of only five members. Despite their small size, they managed to do decently well. Though there were a couple of close calls with the guards in Whiterun, they were planning to leave and were currently camped in the destroyed town of Helgen. Apparently, a dragon had destroyed it, but as long as it didn't bother him, he couldn't care if it was Malacath himself who had caused the destruction. This was going to be his and his gang's new base.
He looked at his crew, who were all Nords. Hofdic and Siborn were sparring with their training swords and shields. Hofdic had short blonde hair, while Siborn had long red hair with a scar running across his eye. They wore fur armor and usually carried two basic iron swords and hide shields they stole from the blacksmith in Whiterun. He then turned his gaze towards a shorter and slimmer Nord who was practicing his Longbow skills by hitting some targets. He had short hair and had a young-looking face. After he was satisfied with his progress, he sat down and brushed off some dust from his Fur Armor. His name was Asbner. He turned his gaze towards the last member of his gang, Bronelf. Bronelf was the tallest among the Nords and stood almost as tall as Mazosh. He was a massive man with long black hair and a bushy beard that had a few gray hairs mixed in. His muscular physique was barely contained by his Fur Armor, and he was currently training with his Iron Warhammer. Mazosh rose from his seat, grabbed his axe, and addressed the Nords. "Hey, guys! Let's pack up and move to the other part of town. I want to make sure that people know that we own this town and that we're not afraid to kill anyone who comes in. Do you understand?" The Nords responded with a resounding "Aye!"
An ugly creature with greasy patches of hair on his head, and sharp teeth sat down on the ground tearing into a piece of meat, next to him were 4 other orcs, out of them he was easily the tallest and most muscular, even then he would still be shorter than most humans. This was an orc named Krozi, he was currently busy devouring some meat from a wolf he and his gang had killed earlier. They were part of a larger force planning to invade a new land for their lord. However, they had made a couple of wrong turns in a forest and ended up in a destroyed city. He hungrily picked up a piece of meat from his plate armor and devoured it, for some of it fell on his armor.
He looked over at the other orcs who he led. Ulgur and Oggog had finished eating and were busy applying poisons to their scimitars. Ulgur couldn't help but eye Krozi's meat a little too intensely. Meanwhile, Locdot, an archer with long, greasy black hair, was eating his meal messily. Merba, the last orc in their small group, was adjusting his chainmail armor and scratching his leg while his spear lay beside him. Krozi finished his meal and spoke in a gravelly voice, "Come on, everyone! We don't have time to waste. Keep an eye out for any Man-Filth. If you don't, I'll chop your head off." Though arrogant, Krozi knew he had to be tough to keep his men in line. The other orcs got up and grabbed their weapons, ready to move on to the other side of the destroyed town.
Mazosh and his group were walking through the destroyed town. As they walked, Siborn got distracted and started poking at burnt bones on the ground. However, they didn't encounter any other bandits. Suddenly, Mazosh spotted a group of three creatures in the distance. He couldn't identify them, but he could see they were standing upright on two legs. He pulled out his battle axe and addressed his men. "Looks like some trouble, or as I like to call it, fun up ahead! Asbner! Climb up on that rubble and get a better look!" Asbner climbed up on a pile of rubble to get a better look and reported back, "Looks like...orcs if I had to guess, but they look way too small. Even I'm taller than most of em!" Asbner readied his bow and arrow. Mazosh then smiled, "Well men! Let's kill these pathetic excuses for Orcs and teach them a lesson!"
Krozi was scolding Locdot. Locdot had dared to bump into him while they were marching, Krozi was itching to pull out his axe and teach him a lesson when he saw it. A group of 5 warriors, all of them Man-Filth! Wait no…among them was a monster of muscle, he looked like an orc. Krozi thought he was tall but this orc put a whole new meaning to the word. But that wasn't what was bothering him. That orc, if you could even call him that after what he dared to do, was fighting with the Man-Filth! Krozi completely forgot about Locdot and pulled out his axe, overcome with anger. “We got a group of men coming at us fast! Looks like they have a traitor among them! Let's have some fun shall we!” The orcs laughed and cheered and pulled out their weapons ready to slaughter, as they charged as well.
Mazosh could now see the orcs as they began to get closer to each other. He knew Asbner said they were short, but man, were they short! But he had no time to think about that as Asbner pulled back an arrow and let it fly, hitting one of the orc’s shields, causing one of the orcs to return fire, hitting Hofdic in the knee as he screamed out in pain and started hopping while holding onto his knee. “Fuck! Fuck! I took an arrow to the knee! I took an arr- '' The sentence never finished as another arrow flew in his neck, killing him as he dropped to the ground dead (5-4). Asbner quickly returned fire, hitting one of the Orc Swordsman in the stomach as it roared in pain and weakly continued charging. They were getting closer and closer as any second now, the true fight would begin as the two force’s front lines were about to meet.
Krozi's face lit up with joy as he watched Locdot take down one of the enemy soldiers. However, his happiness was short-lived as another arrow flew through the air, hitting Ulgur in the stomach. Although he screamed in pain, he continued fighting. Krozi's grin grew even wider as he thought about how his men were stronger than the traitor's army. He was confident that they could defeat their enemies and even kill them all before the leftover meat got cold. But soon, the front lines of the two armies clashed. Thanks to Locdot, only one swordsman managed to get to his two soldiers. However, before Krozi's grin could widen any further, the enemy quickly cut open Ulgur's stomach, finishing the job the archer started, and killing him (4-4). Then he blocked an attack from Oggog with a shield and stabbed him in the leg as he screamed out in pain, then Merba came up from behind the Man-Filth and stabbed his spear through his chest, easily piercing his armor and killing him (4-3). However, the victory was short-lived when an arrow flew and hit Oggog in the neck and he fell to the ground dead (3-3).
Mazosh's army had reached the orcs. During the fight, Siborn managed to kill a wounded orc and injure another before an orc attacked him from behind and stabbed him in the chest with a spear. Asber then finished off the wounded orc. Meanwhile, Bronelf faced off against an orc spearman while an arrow hit him in the arm. Despite the injury, Bronelf swung his Warhammer at the spearman, who narrowly dodged the attack. After that, an Orc Bowman fired an arrow at Asber, who was running towards a wall, hitting him in the neck and killing him instantly (3-2). The bowman cheered in triumph, and Mazosh realized that he had to deal with the archer quickly, otherwise this battle would end up being over way too soon. While Bronelf continued fighting with the orc, he finally managed to hit the orc just barely in the shoulder, crushing it. Mazosh then charged at the orc spearman and split his head in half with his battleaxe (2-2).
Krozi was growing angrier by the second. Merba had fallen dead, his head split in two. Krozi knew he couldn't take on the two towering men. He realized he had to retreat, so he ran into one of the nearby buildings. His small size compared to the traitor and the Man-Filth allowed him to move faster and more nimbly. As he was sprinting past Locdot, he witnessed him shooting an arrow that struck the Man-Filth right in the heart, causing him to collapse dead (2-1). However, before he could even celebrate, an axe fell on Locdot's head, drenching Krozi in blood (1-1). He used the blood to his advantage and hid from the traitor while he formulated a plan.
Mazosh was extremely angry. His entire gang had been killed by these pathetic orcs. He only took his eyes off their leader for a second, and he had already disappeared. Mazosh couldn't believe it. What sort of coward was he? He didn't even manage to kill one of Mazosh's gang. Instead, he just stood there giving orders. Mazosh was enraged and screamed out, “I'll show you what a real Orc can do!” Suddenly, angry growls were heard from one of the buildings. A gravelly voice said, “You dare call yourself an Orc, traitor?!” A blur came out from behind Mazosh and slammed an axe into his iron armor, leaving only a dent and a small chip as the rusty axe broke. Mazosh turned from behind him and tried to cut him in half but the orc dodged and the battleaxe slammed into the ground getting stuck as the Orc Leader went to laugh before Mazosh ran at him and just punched him. Sending him flying back into a pool of blood next to the dead carcass of the Orc Spearman as he started walking towards him without a weapon. He was going to kill this pathetic short orc a lesson. He was going to kill him slowly with his own two hands.
Krozi flew back as he felt his jaw break and he spit out more than a couple of teeth, with more than a little bit of blood. He could barely think straight as the huge orc traitor came up to him and stomped hard on his leg, crushing it. He screamed out in pain as he looked wildly for a weapon. He wasn't going to die to this orc traitor! That's when he saw it. The broken half of the spear Merba had. He then thought of a plan as he smiled and chuckled to himself. The orc traitor looked down at him, his eyes full of pure unfiltered rage. “...What are you laughing at?!” Krozi then spat blood and a tooth into his face as the huge Orc covered his eyes with his hands trying to wipe it off Krozi quickly grabbed the half of the spear. He then quickly got up as fast as he could with a crushed leg, ignoring the pain, and kicked the huge orc in the crotch. Making him lean forward, revealing the exposed bottom half of his face, Krozi then shoved the half part of the spear up. He went through the bottom of his face, stabbing through the brain, killing the huge orc instantly as he fell dead. Krozi laughed and got up, wobbling over to the battleaxe stuck in the ground, and used the rest of his might to pull it out. It was massive in his hands as he grinned. He'd have to get used to the weight but other than that, it would make a fine replacement as he roared in victory (1-0).
Expert's Opinion[]
Although the orcs and bandits were around equal in weaponry and armor, the experts believed that the Orc's actual training would give them the edge over the Bandits who spent most of their lives robbing helpless people and have no actual training.