| “ | Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius anyday.
— Samuel Goldwyn
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Joseph Joestar[]
| “ | Your next line is...
— Joseph Joestar
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Joseph Joestar is the protagonist of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Battle Tendency. Raised by his Grandmother due to the seeming death of his parents, Joseph would grow up with a strong rebellious streak and would develop a natural skill for Hamon, a holdover from his Grandfather Jonathan. At the age of 18, Joseph would be involved in the Pillar men’s reawakening, being forced to study and grow his powers to both save his own life, but the lives of his friends, family and eventually the whole world.
Abilities[]
Hamon: An ancient breathing technique, designed to produce a type of powerful ripple like energy. Joseph was a natural talent with this art, and with some training became even more skilled with it. Hamon has lots of utility, weaponizing objects, healing, killing undead, etc… However, as a breathing art, a Hamon user is vulnerable to attacks to the respiratory system.
- Can make a man pass out by overloading him with Hamon.
- Turns bottles into improvised guns with enough force to break bone.
- Able to infuse his fingers and feet with Hamon, letting him walk on spikes and block stabs.
- Can use Hamon to walk on water.
- Infuses strands of hair with Hamon, making them hard enough to block bullets.
- Able to infuse a clacker with enough Hamon to where it got lodged in a stone pillar.
- Was able to make a Hamon filled clacker boomerang back to his hand.
- Shattered Kars’ steel slicing bone blade with a Hamon filled chops.
- A jolt of Joseph’s Hamon would have been enough to kill Suzie Q (fitting with the part 2 continuity).
Superhuman physicality: Joseph was immensely physically fit. He was very powerful, being strong enough to smash a stone slab with a chop and tough enough to survive a fall from orbit on the back of a meteorite. He was also fast and agile, being able to dodge the space ripper stingy eyes at point blank range and having the dexterity to kill flies by flicking shards of shattered glass while at a solid distance away.
Unarmed combat: Joseph was an adept hand to hand fighter. He used a fighting style similar to what I like to call ‘Hollywood Karate’, with Joseph often opting for powerful high kicks and chops. This talent allowed him to compete with far more dangerous opponents, allowing him to battle people like Kars and Wamuu.
Sleight of hand: Joseph is very skilled in the usage of Prestidigitation, also known as sleight of hand. While originally used as party tricks, Joseph has retooled these skills for combat, allowing him to do things like concealing weapons, planting weapons on enemies and laying traps in plain view of opponents without being seen.
Equipment[]
100% Wool rope: When he fought Esidisi, Joseph used a rope made entirely from wool, a material which very effectively conducts Hamon. Joseph has used this rope as an effective tool to entrap an opponent before.
American Clackers: A simple toy Joseph picked up in America, two metal balls connected by string. These clackers were quite useful as throwing weapons, but can be filled with Hamon and used in melee.
Edward Elric[]
| “ | Stand up and walk. Keep moving forward. You’ve got two good legs, so use them.
— Edward Elric
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Edward Elric was the main protagonist of the series Fullmetal Alchemist. Being born with a natural talent for Alchemy, Ed and his Brother Alphonse would attempt to use the art to revive their mother after her passing, leading to a catastrophic failure which ended with Al losing his physical body and Edward losing an arm and leg. The two would form here be trained in Alchemy and become dogs of the state in a search to repair the bodies, but would be dragged into a conspiracy of killers, monstrous homunculi, and more the true nature of alchemy itself.
Abilities[]
Alchemy: The remodeling of physical matter through transmutation. Edward is a talented alchemist, being able to use it to create a large variety of different physical objects, varying from weapons to buildings. While Edward doesn’t need a transmutation circle like most alchemists, he does still require the usage of both hands, along with needing to touch the material. Most importantly, Alchemy follows the laws of equivalent exchange, meaning you need the same amount of matter going into the transmutation to create the desired product.
- Can form pillars, walls and spikes made from stone for both attack and defense.
- Can form columns of stone which launch out towards an opponent at high speeds.
- Can create large pits within the ground.
- Can create a working cannon from the stones of a street.
- Can turn a segment of his automail arm into a short sword.
- Can create weapons like spears (and presumably a lot more) out of the stone of the floor.
- Can create an alchemical transmutation with no outcome, which completely demolishes the intended object/target.
- By transmuting the carbon fiber tubing in his automail, Ed can replicate the alchemical technique of greed and make his automail nearly unbreakable.
Superhuman physicality: Despite being very small for his age, Edward was superhumanly fast, tough and agile. His main ability comes from his speed, being able to dodge machine gun fire and effectively run up walls. He is also very strong and tough, being able to knock a grown man on his ass without his automail and perform a complex alchemical leg with an atomized lower leg.
Weapons training: Edward was a natural adept with weaponry, being proficient in the usage of melee weapons. He naturally gravitated towards short swords, using his very fast movement speed to outpace and keep up with far more experienced opponents, most impressively defeating the slasher brothers in a duel.
Unarmed combat: Ed was a skilled hand to hand fighter, being able to beat down bigger and stronger opponents through fast movements and intelligent usages of his automail limbs. This has helped him get out of many situations, letting him beat down enemies varying from trained soldiers to Chimera’s, and even allowed him to beat the fuck out of Father.
Equipment[]
Automail: Made to replace his lost limbs, Ed had an automail arm and leg. Being far tougher than regular flesh, Ed’s automail gave him superhuman striking and lifting strength in those limbs, allowing Ed to punch through a tree and throw around Chimeras. He could also transmute his automail arm into weapons, along with transmuting the carbon fiber tubing within it to make it indestructible.
X-factors[]
Fitness[]
Joseph and Edward were both exceptionally fit warriors, but there was a clear difference in skill. While Ed was strong for his size, being able to beat down much larger adults, Joseph could break stone tiles and survived riding a meteorite from the upper atmosphere down to sea level. While I’d argue that Edward was more agile and faster, Joseph still wasn’t far behind, and still had more refined dexterity.
Experience[]
Joseph may be one of the more seasoned JoJo’s, but he still at most had a few months of training and fighting under his belt. Edward, by contrast, was an experienced state alchemist, quite literally being a child soldier. And while the Ultimate Kars and the Pillar men were tough adversaries, Father and the Homunculi were still far from weak.
Intelligence/Tactics[]
Both Joseph and Edward are very smart fighters in their own ways, using the terrain and technical knowledge to their advantage. However, where Edward is a clever young man, he doesn’t play the same games of mental 3d chess in combat like Joseph does. Joseph is almost always several steps ahead of his opponent, being able to layer moves within moves and set enemies up for failure, all while hiding this under a screen of looking like a buffoon.
Brutality[]
Neither of these two are particularly brutal. While they’d both be willing to lay an ass whooping on someone, they’re both hesitant about actually killing people, meaning they’re unlikely to actually snap and use their most powerful abilities to straight up kill each other, and bystanders by extension.
Scenario[]
Joseph and Ed are both eating at a small cafe. The two manage to annoy each other and a fight breaks out. Neither are killers, so I doubt the fight will end in death.
Prologue[]
The small street corner cafe was serving its final meals as the sun set. There were few paying customers left, but enough to keep things interesting. Joseph and Caesar sat at a table, with Joseph drinking wine, while Caesar sipped coffee from a chipped cup. “How can you do that?” Joseph asked. “It's like 9 O’clock, how are you drinking that?' 'Caesar shrugged.
“I guess I’m just tougher than you JoJo.” He said before taking another sip. Joseph kicked back in his chair and pouted. “What's wrong JoJo? Does your ego hurt?” Caesar joked, causing Joseph to glare at him. “You better shut up Caesarino.”
“Or what?” Caesar asked, taking another sip of coffee. “I’ll beat you up again is what.” Caesar chuckled arrogantly. “You think you really could? Remember the last time we fought?” Joseph scoffed. “I remember that you almost swallowed a whole pigeon, if that's what you’re referring to, Caesarino!”
“Hey, can you two shut it.” A patron at another table shouted, causing Joseph to turn and face him. “Why don’t you mind your own business!” he went to shout, before seeing two of the strangest looking people he’d ever seen. Sitting there was a very short boy in a red jacket, beside a towering giant dressed in plate armor.
“Oh, no offense meant, big man.” Joseph said nervously, not wanting to fight the armored giant. “It was me speaking, dumbass.” The Ed said. “Oh, I’m very sorry little one.” Joseph said. “I guess all this talk of fighting might be a little much for small children.” Al shrunk back in fear, as the little man’s face went as red as his jacket. “Ed, please don’t.” Al went to say, but it was too late.
“Who’d you call a tiny, miniscule, baby shrimp of a dust mite!” Ed screamed, causing the other patrons to turn. “Woah!” Joseph said, putting up his hands. “I didn’t mean any offense by it, little guy.” However, this didn’t stop the oncoming rage rant’s momentum one bit. Ed hopped out of his chair and began to scream out a stream of expletives. However, Joseph only began to laugh.
“What's so funny?” Ed shouted. “Caesar!” Joseph cackled. “He’s even shorter standing up!” This was a mistake. Without any hesitation, Edward jumped into the air and kicked Joseph hard across the face. JoJo stumbled sideways, crashing through several tables before bumping against a wall.
Ed went in for more, but Alphonse held him back. ‘Let me go Al! This big idiot needs to learn some manners!” Caesar stood up and was ready to attack, but Joseph put up his hand. “If you mean those fighting words, kid, then it's a fight between just us.” Edward wriggled free from Al’s grasp before standing his ground. Joseph stood tall, looming over Ed, but remaining cognizant of his power.
The two glared at each other, scared bystanders pushing away into the corners, while Al and Caesar stood by, disappointed by the evening's events. The tension rose for a few moments, before both Joseph and Edward made their plays.
Battle[]
TBD