Deadliest Fiction Wiki
Deadliest Fiction Wiki

Because what's more brolike than introducing new R34 targets?

You're welcome you horny motherfuckers

Hot for Teacher: Sara Valestein (Trails series)[]

The Empire hasn't yet turned out a man desperate enough to woo that alcoholic typhoon.
— Jusis Albarea
Jusis is only right because Laq isn't Erebonian

Sara Valestein, also known as the Purple Lightning, is a 27-year-old A-Rank Bracer. She lost her parents at a young age due to the effects of the North Ambrian Disaster, where a majority of the state of North Ambria was turned into salt. She was taken in by Colonel Valestein of the North Ambrian army, which was later reconstituted into a jaeger corps - essentially Zemuria's name for a unified mercenary corps - known as the Northern Jaegers.

Sara, idealizing her adoptive father, joined the Junior Jaeger Squad at the age of ten. Three years later, she was considered fit to join the main corps. She quickly earned the epithet "Purple Lightning" for her skill and abilities, and by the age of 18 was promoted to a company commander. At the age of 21, the Northern Jaegers were hired to fight a proxy war in Erebonia. Sara and her adoptive father were assigned to fight in the war, along with the soldiers they led. As they were attempting to ensure the safety of some civillians, the Nidhoggr jaeger corps attacked them. Sara was heavily wounded in the ensuing battle, and her adoptive father lost his life in her arms; his last words were asking her if she truly wanted to continue working as a jaeger.

She was nursed back to health in an Erebonian military hospital, though she snuck out and returned to North Ambria. While the corps mourned their leader, they were also relieved that the job was complete; with the mira earned, their families wouldn't go hungry in the winter. Sara ultimately decided that the life of a jaeger wasn't for her, and fled to Erebonia to join the Bracer Guild shortly after. She rapidly rose through the ranks, becoming the youngest Bracer to achieve A-rank at the age of 23.

A year later, after an attack on the Erebonian Bracer Guild by Ouroboros, the Erebonian government starts to pressure the Bracers and prevent their operations within the Empire. Prince Olivert Reise Arnor, having grown to appreciate the Bracers during his time in Liberl, recruits Sara to become an instructor at Thors Military Academy. She accepts, becoming the resident Combat Tactics instructor. She then takes in Fie Clausell as her ward, seeing a lot of her past self in the girl and wanting her to have a better life. She is then assigned the experimental Class VII, which would break the school's strict separation of social classes.

She teaches and supports them, using her experience as a Bracer to assign them tasks to force them to confront the various issues in the Empire. Despite her hard-drinking antics and general disinterest in paperwork, she earns the respect of her students through both her skill in combat and her curriculum. She continues acting as their instructor during the Erebonian Civil War, which was kicked off by a student in Class VII. She primarily operates as support, using her massive network of contacts to keep them informed, but also joins in combat should they be facing a major threat.

After the Civil War, a majority of Class VII are given special dispensation to graduate early. Sara retires from teaching, returning to her Bracer duties so as to continue to mentor Fie Clausell. She fulfills her duties as a Bracer, eventually reuniting with some members of Class VII in Erebonia's Lamare Province, which includes Rean Schwarzer, who has taken a post as an instructor with a new Class VII. The members of Old and New Class VII work together to investigate the jaegers active in the area, finding one of them to be the remnants of Sara's old comrades, the Northern Jaegers, who have been hired by the Ouroboros Society.

After foiling Ouroboros' plans, Sara realizes that the remnants of the Northern Jaegers were seeking a place to die, with their former home now annexed by Erebonia and most of their comrades folded into the Erebonian military. She yells at them to not be suicidal assholes, which gets through to the corps. She then assists the fully reunited Old and New Class VII in preventing a vampire dragon under the capital from reawakening, and after Rean is captured assists his students and her former students in searching for him. She is instrumental in stopping the Curse of Erebonia, known as the Great Twilight, from ending the world.

Those are... terrifying-looking weapons...
— Alisa Reinford
One of the few actually edgy things about her
Sara's preferred weapons are a sword in one hand and a pistol in the other. She uses the sword with quick, overpowering strikes and the gun to either lay down suppressive fire or strike distant targets with high accuracy.

Heh. You're gonna need my tender mercies, too.
— Sara Valestein
I really hate Cold Steel's Quartz system

In order to utilize Orbal Arts, Sara must be in physical possession of a Combat Orbment. Each Orbment has slots for a quartz, a tiny crystal with an attunement to one or more of the seven elements: Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, Space, Time, and Mirage. Said quartz can offer various benefits, enable the casting of one or more Arts, or do both. Arts able to be cast will be highlighted in green to make telling them apart easier. Note that all Arts take a time to cast and can be interrupted. This time varies, but is generally longer for stronger spells. Arts also cost a resource known as EP. Cold Steel and Reverie use a grading system for relative power. It goes from D to S, with even more powerful attacks having either a plus or a scalar multiplier to the S.

Sara will have a maximum of 1420 EP, and will start with 100 CP. Potential for status effects applies separately; as an example, if Sara uses True Thundering Roar, there is a 60% chance to cause Seal from the

Thor, Lv 10: Sara's Master Quartz with the following functions:

  • Increases damage dealt to enemies inflicted with status effects by 60%.
  • Attacks and Crafts have a 24% chance to inflict Seal for two turns.
Seal: Prevents the affected target from performing non-magical attacks
  • Increases Break Damage by 50%
If enough Break Damage is dealt, the enemy is stunned with lower defenses, suffers a large turn delay, has their casting interrupted, and skips their next turn.

It further allows the casting of the following spells:

Breath
Restores a small amount of HP to allies in a medium area. Costs 30 EP.
Air Strike
Attacks one enemy with compressed air. Deals C+ Wind damage and has a 50% chance to inflict Blind for 4 turns. Costs 15 EP.
Blind
Greatly reduces the accuracy of non-spell attacks
Recuria
Cures all status ailments for allies in a very large area. Costs 42 EP.
Nemesis Arrow
Fires a blast of lightning in a medium line. Deals B Wind damage and has a 20% chance to inflict Seal for 2 turns. Costs 60 EP.
Seal
Prevents the affected target from performing non-magical attacks
Aerial Dust
Creates a tornado over a large area with sharp debris. Deals A+ Wind Damage and has a 100% chance to inflict Blind for 4 turns. Costs 120 EP.
Blind
Greatly reduces the accuracy of non-spell attacks
Holy Breath
Restores a medium amount of HP to allies in a large area. Costs 120 EP.
Ixion Volt
Calls down a rain of lightning strikes over a very large area. Deals SS Wind Damage and has an 80% chance to inflict Seal for 2 turns. Costs 240 EP
Seal
Prevents the affected target from performing non-magical attacks

Beowulf, Lv 10: Sara's Sub-Master Quartz with the following functions:

  • Arts restore an additional 10 CP per target hit.

It further allows the casting of the following spells:

Fire Bolt
Launches an orb of fire at one enemy. Deals C+ Fire Damage and has a 50% chance to inflict Burn for 3 turns. Costs 15 EP.
Burn
Deals heavy damage at the end of the afflicted's turn.
Forte
Raises physical attack of allies in a medium area by a small amount for 4 turns. Costs 12 EP.
Impasion
Restores 30 CP per turn for 4 turns. Costs 24 EP.
Venom Flame
Scorches enemies in a medium area with a gout of flame that releases toxic smoke. Deals C+ Fire Damage and has a 25% chance to inflict Poison for 7 turns and a 25% chance to inflict Burn for 3 turns. Costs 60 EP.
Poison
Deals light damage at the end of the afflicted's turn.
Burn
Deals heavy damage at the end of the afflicted's turn.
Flare Butterfly
Summons flaming butterflies that detonate, hitting a large area for A+ Fire Damage. Has a 50% chance to inflict Burn. Costs 108 EP.
Burn
Deals heavy damage at the end of the afflicted's turn.
La Forte
Raises physical attack of allies in a very large area by a medium amount for 4 turns. Costs 72 EP
Zeruel Cannon
Manifests a fiery orb above a foe, which launches beams downwards before hitting a small area with a larger fiery laser. Deals SS+ Fire Damage and has a 100% chance to inflict Burn. Costs 168 EP.

Nohval Gem
Greatly increases the speed at which actions are taken
Esmelas Gem
Slightly increases the speed at which actions are taken, greatly increases the distance able to be moved in one turn, and increases the chance to evade attacks by 12%
Fenrir Gem
Massively increases base EP and the strength of magic attacks. Further allows the casting of Albion Wolf.
Albion Wolf
Summons a wolf, whose howl creates an orb of energy that strikes all foes. Deals SS+ Mirage Damage and removes all buffs from enemies. Costs 324 EP.
Rage
Increases the chance to hit a foe by 100%, increases the chance to evade an attack by 10%, and all counterattacks made after evading deal critical damage.
Impede 3
Attacks/Crafts have a 90% chance to cancel enemy actions being readied, and delays their next turn. Slightly increases physical strength.
Aeonian Emperor
Massively increases physical and magical strength, increases the speed at which actions are taken, and increases the chance to evade attacks by 10%. Allows the casting of Aeonian Emperor.
Aeonian Emperor
Summons a warrior to deal 5S damage and SS break damage to all enemies. Costs 660 EP. May only be used once per battle.
Deus Gem
Slightly increases base EP, greatly increases magical strength and defense, reduces EP cost of arts by 40% (already applied).

Time to try for once!
— Sara Valestein
Considering she fights an entire squad of Northern Jagers to a draw when saying this it's warranted

Crafts cost a resource known as CP, which is built by dealing and receiving damage to a maximum of 200, and unlike Arts have no cast time. Cold Steel and Reverie use a grading system for relative power. It goes from D to S, with even more powerful attacks having either a plus or a scalar multiplier to the S. If enough Break Damage is dealt, the enemy is stunned with lower defenses, suffers a large turn delay, has their casting interrupted, and skips their next turn.

True Thundering Roar
Sara fires her gun several times, and a barrage of bullets strikes a large area, followed by lightning bolts, dealing low physical damage. Has a high chance of reducing the speed of those it hits by a large amount for 4 turns, and a 60% chance of causing Seal for 2 turns. Costs 30 CP, deals C-level physical damage and D-level Break Damage.
Seal
Prevents the affected target from performing non-magical attacks
True Searing Flash
Leaps into the air, stabbing the ground and discharging electricity in a medium area. Sara then leaps back, firing a burning volley from her gun. Delays the target's next attack, and has a 30% chance to inflict Burn for 3 turns. Costs 60 CP, deals S-level physical damage and SS-level Break Damage.
Burn
Deals heavy damage at the end of the afflicted's turn.
Thunder Vortex
Sara slashes, creating a ring of purple lightning stuff, which shoots forwards and encircles a large area. It then collapses, pulling all enemies inside towards its center. Has a high chance to reduce enemy defense and speed by a medium amount for 4 turns. Costs 80 CP, deals A-level magical damage and C-level Break Damage.
True Lightning Charge
Sara charges herself with electricity. Greatly increases her speed and strength while granting her Insight for 4 turns. Appears to have some connection with the Jaeger technique War Cry. Costs 30 CP.
Insight
Increases evasion rate by 50%.
Northern Lightning 2
Sara leaps to a vantage point, charging herself with lightning. She jumps down, discharging the electricity, and strikes all enemies in range with her sword and gun. She then jumps away, charging back in and past her foes as lightning strikes them. Has a 100% chance to cause Seal for two turns. Costs all CP, deals 4S-level physical damage and D-level Break Damage.
Seal
Prevents the affected target from performing non-magical attacks

You got a problem with me spending the afternoon drinking? This is my room and this is my beer. I'm not seeing the problem!
— Sara Valestein
Some service for you, Laq
Experience: 90
Sara, despite being 27, has 14 years of combat experience. She has had experience fighting on numerous battlefields as part of the Northern Jaegers, a group known for taking a wide variety of contracts and for their comparatively high levels of skill, even amongst the high standards of other jaeger corps. She also has experience as a Bracer, which involves everything from investigating bandits to finding lost kittens to fighting otherworldly monstrosities. Even her time as a teacher was not idle, as she actively trained and fought her students.
Training: 90
While the specifics of her training are unknown, Sara can be inferred to have had extensive training. As part of the Junior Jager Squad of the Northern Jagers, and especially as the adoptive child of Colonel Valestein, she likely got the best training a child soldier could possibly have over her three years of service. After leaving the Jagers, she then joins the Bracer Guild, which has its own fairly comprehensive training program.
Sexiness (Courtesy of Laquearius): 85
Sara Valestein has a little something for everyone, even if you don't have an immediate liking for sexy teacher types like some of us do. Calling her bust "ample" would do her a major disservice. That low-cut minidress clings to her curvy form for dear life and combines with her stockings to show off some powerful zettai ryouiki for thigh-lovers. Her messy hairstyle suggests a welcoming and laid-back temperament without dampening a mature woman's natural confidence and self-assurance. She may actually only be twenty-seven, but in the anime world, you cease to exist if you're over thirty, so she counts as a milf anyway. Sara proves that the old adage remains true: "You are not immune to thirty-year-old alcoholic cougars."

Goth IHOP: Paine (FFX-2)[]

People who want happy endings have to write their own.
— Paine
We all know who Beast is voting for...

Not much is known about Paine's childhood until she joined the Crusaders, an elite force created by the Yevon church. She was selected as the Sphere Recorder for Crimson Squad, an elite group made of candidates to lead the Crusaders. She and the other members - Nooj, Baralai, and Gippal - struck a strong friendship. After the Yevon priest overseeing the squad sent them into the Den of Woe as their final test, Paine recorded the being within, Shuyin, possessing the other members, forcing them to fight each other.

The four of them were now marked for execution, as the failure of the mission reflected badly on the priest. They escaped, deciding to go their separate ways. Shuyin, however, was still possessing Nooj, which forced him to shoot his friends in the back. Paine, reeling from the betrayal, wandered Spira until she joined up with the Gullwings.

There, she joins with Yuna and Rikku to form the main field team of sphere hunters, basically Spira's version of treasure hunters. She keeps her connections with Crimson Squad secret, even when then other three members have taken control of the major political factions. She and the rest of the Gullwings work to uncover Spira's secrets, including what happened to Crimson Squad in the Den of Woe.

They are successful in this, and eventually uncover Shuyin's plans to destroy Spira in revenge for his long-dead lover. They team up with Nooj and Gippal to fight him, as he had possessed Baralai. They succeed in separating the pair, and after another fight they are finally able to send his spirit to rest.

No holding back now. It's all or nothing.
— Paine

Can apparently be used to deepfake
Dresspheres are special technology invented by Shinra, a member of the Gullwings. When placed into a Garment Grid, they allow the users to change clothes and weapons nigh-instantly, even in the middle of battle. Paine is immune to attacks during her transformation sequence. She must be wearing a Dressphere to access the abilities it confers; she cannot use Excalibur as a Gunner, for example. Dresspheres also change stats, and HP and MP change proportionally when dresspheres change.

Yeah, couldn't find a higher res image

By equipping a Garment Grid, the user can change between dresspheres during battle. Paine will be using the Ice Queen grid, which allows for three different dresspheres to be equipped and switched between.

Grants the following:

Ice Eater
Absorbs Ice elemental damage as health
Blizzard
Allows casting Blizzard. Has cast time.
Gates
Passing through the following Gates while changing Dresspheres allows the following abilities
Yellow
Grants Icestrike.
Icestrike
Any physical damage done inflicts Ice elemental damage instead
Green & Red
Allows casting Blizzara. Has cast time.
All Three
Allows casting Blizzaga. Has cast time.

The most Goth of the spheres

The Warrior dressphere is a versatile physical attacker, who focuses on dealing damage with physical sword strikes. This is Paine's default dressphere, and will be what she starts equipped with. The Warrior dressphere has a maximum of 168 MP. It has high physical strength and defenses, and low magical strength and defenses. Weilds a single sword. The Warrior dressphere allows access to the following:

SOS Protect
Automatically casts Protect when HP is low.
Protect
Halves physical damage received for a short time.

All commands other than Attack have a few seconds of charge time before the attack executes.

Attack
A physical sword strike.
Sentinel
Reduces all incoming physical damage to near zero, greatly delaying the next action. Magic attacks deal full damage.
Assault
Casts Berserk, Haste, Shell, and Protect on the party.
Berserk
Increase damage dealt, but attack uncontrollably for a short time.
Haste
Speeds up actions by 5% for a short time.
Shell
Halves magic damage received for a short time.
Protect
Halves physical damage received for a short time.

All commands have a few seconds of charge time before the attack executes.

Flametongue
Deals fire damage to one enemy. Costs 4 MP.
Ice Brand
Deals ice damage to one enemy. Costs 4 MP.
Liquid Steel
Deals water damage to one enemy. Costs 4 MP.
Demi Sword
Deals gravity damage to one enemy. Costs 6 MP.
Excalibur
Deals holy damage to one enemy. Costs 24 MP.
Power Break
Deals damage to one enemy and lowers its strength. Costs 4 MP.
Armor Break
Deals damage to one enemy and lowers its defense. Costs 4 MP.
Magic Break
Deals damage to one enemy and lowers its magic power. Costs 4 MP.
Mental Break
Deals damage to one enemy and lowers its magic defense. Costs 4 MP.
Delay Attack
Deals damage to one enemy and delays its next attack. Costs 10 MP.
Delay Buster
Deals damage to one enemy and greatly delays its next attack. Costs 16 MP.

I generally don't like this one on Paine but it's best for balance

The Gunner is a fast attacker, whose abilities activate instantly. It compensates for this by having all its abilities cost MP, alongside a low MP cap. It has fairly average stats across the board, with high physical strength being the only outlier. Because squeezing the trigger harder makes the bullets hit harder, I guess. The Gunner has a maximum MP of 123. Wields a single gun. This dressphere allows access to the following:

Darkproof
Cannot be inflicted with the Darkness status effect. Darkness acts identically to Blind, and so will protect from that.
Sleepproof
Cannot be inflicted with the Sleep status effect
Trigger Happy Lv. 2
Increases the allotted time for Trigger Happy to 2.2 Seconds.
Trigger Happy Lv. 3
Increases the allotted time for Trigger Happy to 2.6 Seconds.

Trigger Happy
Fires the gun as fast as the trigger can be pulled for a short time.

All commands have no charge time.

Potshot
Inflicts physical damage to target. Costs 8 MP.
Cheap Shot
Inflicts physical damage to target, ignoring defense. Costs 8 MP.
Enchanted Ammo
Inflicts non-elemental magical damage to target. Costs 8 MP.
Target MP
Inflicts damage to target's MP. Costs 8 MP.
Quarter Pounder
Has a very low chance to inflict 25% of the target's HP as damage. Costs 8 MP.
On the Level
Deals special damage based on the user's level. Costs 12 MP.
Burst Shot
Deals physical damage with a guaranteed critical. Costs 12 MP.
Table-turner
Deals physical damage proportional to the target's defense. Costs 8 MP.
Scattershot
Deals physical damage to the entire enemy party.
Scatterburst
Deals physical damage to the entire enemy party, guaranteeing a critical hit. Costs 36 MP.

covers less than her swimsuit

The Thief dressphere is, to no one's surprise, focused on stealing. It has high evasion, but is generally average on the rest of its stats. The Thief has a maximum of 170 MP, weilds a pair of daggers, and gives access to the following:

Item Hunter
Improves the odds of enemies dropping items.
First Strike
Act at the beginning of battle.
Initiative
Raises the party's chance of a preemptive strike.
Slowproof
Guards against Slow.
Stopproof
Guards against Stop.

Attack
Attack one enemy, hitting twice.
Steal
Steal items from one enemy.
Flee
Aid the party's escape from battle.

All commands have a few seconds of charge time.

Pilfer Gil
Steal gil from one enemy. Costs 2 MP.
Borrowed Time
Inflict Stop on one enemy. Costs 16 MP.
Pilfer HP
Steal HP from one enemy. Costs 10 MP.
Pilfer MP
Steal MP from one enemy. Costs 0 MP.
Sticky Fingers
Always steal items from one enemy. Costs 20 MP.
Master Thief
Steal rare items from one enemy. Costs 20 MP.
Soul Swipe
May inflict Berserk on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.
Berserk
The afflicted party uses their standard attack only, but does vastly increased damage. Wears off over time.
Steal Will
May cause one enemy to flee from battle. Costs 18 MP.

Boy am I glad I'm not using Yuna

Full Throttle is Paine's special dressphere. It can only be accessed upon changing to all other dresspheres on the garment grid. Upon changing to this dressphere, Paine manifests a pair of wings, which take actions individually at her command. These wings can be killed individually, and as such have separate MP and HP bars. Since these are dependent on the number of spheres on a garment grid, I don't have hard numbers. It is not IC for Paine to rush spherechanges to access Full Throttle.

All commands have a few seconds of charge time.

Attack
Attack one enemy.
Fright
Damage and Confuse one enemy, plus delay its actions.
Confuse
Target attacks a random other character
Sword Dance
Damage all enemies.

All commands have a few seconds of charge time.

Aestus
Deal fire damage to one enemy.
Winterkill
Deal ice damage to one enemy.
Levin
Deal lightning damage one enemy.
Whelmen
Deal water damage to one enemy.
Wisenen
May reduce one enemy's HP by 3/4.
Fiers
Deal critical damage to one enemy. Costs 10 MP.
Deeth
May instantly defeat one enemy.
Assoil
Deal holy damage to one enemy.

All commands have a few seconds of charge time.

Stamina
Restore HP to one character.
Mettle
Restore MP to one character.
Reboot
Revive one KO'd character.

All commands have a few seconds of charge time.

Venom Wing
Inflict damage and Poison on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.
Blind Wing
Inflict damage and Darkness on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.
Mute Wing
Inflict damage and Silence on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.
Lazy Wing
Inflict damage and Sleep on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.
Rock Wing
Inflict damage and Petrification on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.
Violent Wing
Inflict damage and Berserk on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.
Still Wing
Inflict damage and Stop on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.
Crazy Wing
Inflict damage and Confusion on one enemy. Costs 12 MP.

All commands have a few seconds of charge time.

Stamina
Restore HP to one character.
Mettle
Restore MP to one character.
Reboot
Revive one KO'd character.

All commands have a few seconds of charge time.

Steel Feather
Raise the party's Strength.
Diamond Feather
Raise the party's Defense.
White Feather
Lower the Strength of all enemies.
Buckle Feather
Lower the Defense of all enemies.
Cloudy Feather
Lower the Magic of all enemies.
Pointed Feather
Lower the Magic Defense of all enemies.
Pumice Feather
Cast Haste on the party.
Ma'at's Feather
View detailed information about one enemy.

Ribbon
Guards against all status ailments.
Double HP
Doubles max HP.
Triple HP
Triples max HP.

I may not look it, but I am having a good time.
— Paine
And some service for Beast
Experience: 70
Paine has some combat experience. While she wasn't an active combatant in Crimson Squad, she was still a trained and experienced Crusader. During the events of Final Fantasy X-2, she fights a variety of fiends and humans. However, FFX-2 takes place over less than a year, and said fiends and humans tend to have similar styles and tactics, a few major outliers aside.
Training : 80
While the exact specifics of Crusader training were unknown, as well as Paine's level of combat training as a Sphere Recorder rather than a frontline fighter, she nevertheless went through the training for some of the most elite forces in Spira. Said training was enough to let her keep up with Yuna and Rikku, experienced combatants, with no issue.


Sexiness (Courtesy of Beast): 90
Even when ignoring her tight, skin-showing outfits, Paine fulfills several of the quintessential “goth gf” archetypes: from her paler skin to her snarky, more flippant attitude and tendency to favor darker shades in her fashion, incorporating the tried and true red and black with the occasional flashes of purple across her various styles. What puts further points in her favor is her more androgynous hair and clothing, inspired by rockabilly styles that would spin off into the punk and goth scenes of the 80s and 90s, and her deeper, more contralto-leaning voice, which combine to make her a dangerous combination: a goth tomboy, the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of types.

Notes[]

  • For the purposes of this match:
    • MP and EP can be considered equivalent
    • As FFX's ATB is roughly analogous to Trails' turn system, a "turn" can be considered "the time it takes to prepare, use, and recover from an action." Examples that would be one turn:
      • Sara chooses to use Thundering Roar, striking, and then returning to rest
      • Choosing a spell, casting it, and then returning to rest
      • Paine changing dresspheres
      • Paine choosing Flametongue, readying it, striking, and then returning to rest
    • Trails' Turn Bonuses will not be in effect.
    • Sara will have one EP Charge IV to use, which will refill her EP entirely.
    • Sara will start with zero BP, so her Brave Order isn't a thing that's going to be mentioned

Canons[]

  • Sara Valestein will be from just after the end of Cold Steel 4
  • Paine will be from just before fighting Vegnagun in FFX-2

Voting[]

  • Please have at least couple paragraphs as to who you think will win and why
    • Edges will naturally make it this long and are easier to read
  • Evaluating the warriors used based on a different canon or different point in their timeline as given will invalidate a vote
  • I have the final say on whether or not a vote counts
    • Contact me via Discord if you think I made a mistake with vote counts
  • Only votes on this blog will count.
  • Rebuttals can reduce a vote by a half point or more.
    • Counter-arguments can restore the vote to full
  • Rebuttals will not be accepted less than 48 hours before the close of voting, save for the following:
    • Should a vote be made less than 48 hours before the close of voting, rebuttals will be accepted up to 48 hours after the close of voting, and the voter waives the right to defend their vote to restore it.
  • Votes made less than 24 hours before the close of voting (or close enough that I can gauge this to be their intent) will count for half at most.
  • ago)

Battle[]

Three women crouch behind a rock formation in a wide, open cavern. Yuna and Paine carefully check around it, making sure their pursuers aren’t in the area, while Rikku grumbles and looks out in front, checking for the same. Satisfied that their pursuers had yet to catch them, but still hearing approaching footsteps, the trio gather around, discussing what to do. Yuna holsters her gun and reaches into the pocket of her shorts, pulling out the one object able to fit inside. A sparkling, crimson-colored sphere.

“Whoever gave us our info needs to get hurt,” Paine says, “This isn’t like our usual Spheres, and the ‘long abandoned’ town had visitors.”

“Yeah. They didn’t need to get so mad when I knocked over that sword thing, though!” Riku grumbles.

“It was clearly some sort of memorial. They probably think we’re grave robbers,” Yuna says, looking at the sphere sadly.

“But remember the Sphere Hunters’ creed, Yuna,” Riku says.

“Yep. ‘Finders keepers,’ right?”

“HEY! TOMB RAIDERS!” a loud voice rings out, “WE KNOW YOU’RE THERE! COME OUT SO I CAN HIT YOU!”

“Yeah, good luck explaining that to them,” Paine says, “Yuna, take the sphere. Time for Plan S.”

“What was that again?” Riku asks.

“Split up and run like hell.”

Yuna rolls out, drawing her pistol and firing at the brown-haired woman with twintails as Riku dashes to the other side, throwing one of her circular daggers at the black-haired boy. Estelle spins her staff, blocking the bullets as Joshua parries the spinning blade, which returns to its owner. They look at the red-haired woman behind them, who nods. They split up, each chasing one of the fleeing pair.

“Oi, goth chick, I know you’re there,” Sara Valestein says, and Paine sighs. She hoists her sword, walking out to face the other woman. She flips the sword into a reverse grip and turns, her back facing her foe as she glares over her shoulder.

“And what of it?”

“Guess you’re not returning that gem peacefully.”

“I don’t even have it. Should have run after Rikku.”

“Eh, I can’t tell if you’re bluffing or not. So I’ll just kick your ass and help the kids if they need it.”

A burst of purple lightning explodes around Sara, who leaps in right after, planting her sword in the ground as Paine rolls out of the way, getting just out of range of a blast of lightning. She charges her blade with water and leaps in, missing her foe as Sara jumps back, freeing her blade and firing a volley from her gun. Paine grimaces as the air around her ignites, and she lets the water on her blade burst around her to prevent burns.

She wastes no time leaping after her opponent, wrapping her blade in fire this time. The strike misses again as Sara twists out of the way, taking a snap shot that grazes Paine’s arm. Sara spins and swings, her sword blocked by Paine’s. The black-clad woman twists, circling her sword around her foe’s and directly towards the teacher’s face. Sara leans back to dodge, but the tight space leaves her only one route to riposte. Paine leans out of the only path the pistol could take, the shot passing mere centimeters in front of her nose.

Sara throws her pistol upwards, distracting Paine long enough to be grabbed by the silver cross on her chest. Sara spins, throwing her foe back and spinning again before slashing her sword, leaping up to catch her pistol as she does. The slash turns into a purple ring of lightning, swiftly expanding outwards as Paine tries and fails to block the surge. It sucks her into its center, staggering her slightly. She recovers and looks up, seeing Sara standing on a high rock formation, slipping a rectangular device between her breasts.

Paine hears a rumbling overhead and looks up, seeing the ceiling of the cavern covered in dark clouds. She feels her hair stand and leaps back as lightning strikes where she had been standing. A series of quick steps and jumps allow her to dodge several more, finding herself grateful for the first time that Yuna and Rikku had taken her lightning dodging on the Thunder Plains. Banishing the image of their dead eyes and muttering of sharing pain from her mind, she throws her sword up and forward, watching as it redirects the strikes meant to hit her.

She leaps into the air, catching the glowing sword as a massive lightning strike resounds behind her, the pressure from it driving her forward. She levels her sword at her foe’s heart, only for her momentum to be halted and knocked into a backflip by a flurry of gunshots hitting the steel. She lands on her feet, glaring at the teacher standing on the high ground.

“That the best you got?” she taunts.

“Wanna see me do it again?” Sara asks, winking as another set of storm clouds gather above Paine’s head.

“Oh fuck this,” she mutters, triggering a Spherechange as the lightning rains down on her again, this time doing nothing but obscuring her as her outfit and sword disappear in a flash of light, before a new set of clothes and a gun materialize on her. As the final strike of the spell resounds once again, she grabs the gun and fires off a few shots at her foe. Sara leaps off the outcrop, firing back as Paine runs into the tunnel behind her.

The two exchange gunshots as the path splits, a chasm yawning between them. Their footsteps stop and start as the columns and stalagmites along the paths provide alternating cover and openings as they move, the slight changes in angle sometimes leading to unexpected shots. The two women duck and weave as the rocks turn glassy, the heat in the tunnel rising slightly. Their surroundings splinter and chip at missed shots, some reflecting the lava far below as they fall.

Paine leaps back instead of forward, opening a line of sight to fire off Quarter Pounder. The shot glows as it travels, hitting Sara in the arm. The teacher stumbles and rolls into cover, bleeding profusely. Paine notices a green glow as she runs forward, seeking a new vantage point. She finds one, aiming around where her foe should exit the rock formation between them.

Sara crouches, having healed the worst of her wounds with Holy Breath. The rocks here were somewhat reflective, so if she focused a little she could make out a heavily distorted vision of her quarry. She breathes out, holstering her gun and fishing out her ARCUS II. She concentrates on it, letting the power flow through the purple gem within.

Paine gasps in surprise as a massive armored figure appears in the chasm, delaying her trigger by a fraction of a second as Sara runs out and leaps on its shoulder as it forms a massive sword above its head. The goth gal rolls away as a blast of lightning arcs through the rock she was standing on, as Sara stows her orbment again and draws her gun. Several potshots cause Paine to scramble for cover as the sword swings down, with Sara leaping and running on its blade as it descends, surrounding herself in an aura of purple lightning once again.

She lands, only for a rumbling sound to spread from under her feet. The tremor reaches Paine, and the two women look at each other before scrambling to run. The armored figure disappears, the massive sword having cleaved through the now-cracking ledge as they sprint towards safer ground. Paine reaches safety first, jumping over the crumbled ground and landing on her stomach. She rolls over as Sara leaps and bounds off the wall, landing on top of her and driving her sword next to her foe’s neck.

Paine, for her part, gasps, feeling her heart pounding and not entirely sure why. It could have been from the exertion of battle, or from fear of the blade at her throat. Or it could be because the way Sara had fallen has brought her quite pretty face close enough for Paine to feel the other woman’s panting breath on her lips, and the heaving of the teacher’s ample bust on hers as she caught her breath. She tenses slightly as Sara’s hands pat her clothes, before pulling herself up.

“Looks like you really don’t have the jewel,” Sara frowns, as a mixture of relief, disappointment, and an inexplicable sense of inferiority flashes across Paine’s face. Sara takes out her orbment again, letting a stream of lightning flow from her hands and knock the other woman out. She then handcuffs her hands and legs, freeing her sword and slinging the Sphere Hunter over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes before moving further in, hoping to find a way out. And that her juniors had recovered the stolen jewel.