We're gonna take you back to the past... to be the best damn broccoli you could ever be! Bitch!
But seriously, for over four decades, video game culture has evolved from the stereotypical lonely arcade dweebs to the competitive e-gaming mega stars. The 21st century gave rise to the modern gamers, from the lets players, twitch streamers, game reviewers, gaming journalists, to even the retro gamers from eons past. Indeed, it's a good time to be a gamer, and the world has accepted the subculture far more so than back then. Of course, there will always be criticism to gaming culture and video games in general, from Jack Thompson to Anita Sarkeesian. Then there's the console wars, the Steam-Epic feud, and just plain toxicity in general. But meh. Haters gonna hate!
So right now, let's celebrate gaming culture by pitting two of the most famous gamers in history.
PewDiePie: Youtuber extraordinaire and smooth barrel hunter!
vs
AVGN: The angriest gamer you ever heard!
WHO IS DEADLIEST?!
PewDiePie[]
”That's one small stomp for man. One giant leap for PewDiePie!” - PewDiePie
Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg, better known online as PewDiePie, is a Swedish YouTuber (one who currently owns one of the most subscribed channel in the platform) and protagonist of the game PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist. The story began with PewDiePie vlogging at his home with his pugs when he noticed that his videos weren't getting any views. He later received a message from his arch-enemies, the Barrels, telling him that they had kidnapped his fans for a nefarious reason. PewDiePie then set out to confront the Barrel King and his Barrel Army, fighting them along the way as he tried to save his fans. He would later learn the reason why the Barrel King kidnapped his fans - it was to find the legendary Brofist of untold power. Throughout his journey, he would be assisted by fellow Youtubers like Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, and CinnamonToastKen. His girlfriend Marzia provided him support. In the end, he would fight the Barrel King (now a gigantic barrel with a crown and robe) in a final showdown to save his fans and gain the awesome Brofist.
Weapons and Abilities[]
PewDiePie's health bar takes the form of hearts. He initially begins with 7 hearts which can be upgraded to 16 hearts using 2900 coins (something that can only be done before the start of a level). Like an old video game character, PewDiePie can be damaged if he ever so as touches an enemy, or gets hit by their attacks. Every hit will take away a heart. Every damage stuns PewDiePie but also makes him intangible for a second. Once all hearts are gone, he is dead. PewDiePie is also pretty athletic. He and his pugs can jump high in the air and control their fall.
These are PewDiePie's weapons and abilities that is present in almost every level. They serve as PewDiePie's standard way of attack and defense.
- Stomp: The most common way to deal with enemies in the game. Like Mario, PewDiePie can kill enemies by jumping and landing on top of them.
- Edgar and Maya: PewDiePie's beloved pugs who are as strong as Pewdiepie, but will always die in one hit. They will always sacrifice themselves to protect PewDiePie from one lethal blow each. They will resurrect after every level.
Items or weapons that PewDiePie automatically consumes upon pick up. They can only be used once per pick up.
- Heart: PewDiePie can heal himself by picking up hearts. Upon pick up, one heart can replenish one heart he has lost. Other hearts can replenish as many as three hearts.
- Coin: Special currency scattered throughout the level that allows PewDiePie to unlock (or "buy") new special abilities. Each ability requires a specific amount of coins to unlock. Throughout his adventures, PewDiePie has come across gold and silver coins.
PewDiePie can unlock special abilities or power-ups by collecting a specific amount of coins for each. Once unlocked, he can then choose two of these special abilities before the start of every level. When one ability is used, it will have a cool down time which takes several seconds to regenerate, disallowing him from spamming that move. PewDiePie can only change or choose what abilities he could use before the beginning of a new level. So when the level starts, he's stuck with what he had chosen.
- Brofist: PewDiePie signature attack where he collects energy with his fists and punches the screen. Any enemy or projectile near his vicinity are destroyed instantly. However, while it can kill most normal grunts, it is less effective against some enemies (most notably, bosses). The original variant of this attack was used by PewDiePie during the battle with the Barrel King. It was able to kill that final boss with one hit. However, it acts like DBZ's Spirit Ball, requiring the presence or support of his fans to work. The Brofist needs 1500 coins to unlock.
- Edgar Fart: Edgar the Pub lets out a powerful stinking fart that is deadly to enemies. The cloud of smoke can cover a limited area and any enemies inside of that smoke will be damaged or killed. The smoke will eventually dissipitste. Edgar Fart needs 100 coins to unlock.
- Dr. Crab Healing: PewDiePie calls upon Dr. Crab who will heal him using his medical skills. Upon using this move, PewDiePie can replenish three lost hearts. And yes, the crab is an actual medical doctor. Dr. Crab Healing needs 50 coins to unlock.
- Stephano's Scimitars: Magical floating scimitars that surrounds PewDiePie and damages anyone that gets close to him. The swords belong to Stephano, a small statue from Amnesia: The Dark Descent who had fought in many wars using said swords. Stephano’s Scimitars only lasts temporarily and needs 1000 coins to unlock.
- Time Warp: An ability that allows PewDiePie to slow down time for a while. PewDiePie and his pugs can still move normally even when time has slowed down. This time-warping ability uses 500 coins to unlock.
- Power Duck: PewDiePie can use this ability to transform into a glowing invisible duck, allowing him to glide and be invulnerable for a few seconds. Being one of the most expensive, this power-up costs 1500 coins to unlock.
Gallery[]
AVGN[]
”Fuck tutorials! You want to hold my hand through a video game!? I’m the fuckin’ nerd!” - The Angry Video Game Nerd
The Angry Video Game Nerd (or AVGN or The Nerd for short) is a character played by James Rolf in a web show that pioneered independent online video reviews and the one who popularized profanity-laden reviews. In the Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures video game series, the Nerd starred as himself trapped in surrealistic scenarios reminiscent to old-school bad video games. The first game followed the story of the Nerd being sucked inside a bad video game (known as Game Land) and forced to fight 9 levels (+1 tutorial level) inspired by all the shitty games he had played over the years. He later learned that all of this was orchestrated by Fred Fucks, who wanted revenge on the Nerd for insulting him. The second game had a more different scenario. It was the world this time which was transformed into a bad video game, with only the Nerd seemingly being unaffected. There, he would go on a globe-trotting expedition to fight off video game characters and save the world.
Weapons and Abilities[]
The Nerd's life bar consists of three bottles with each bottle able to take two hits before being depleted. The Nerd can be damaged when he gets into contact with an enemy or gets hit by them. Every damage he takes, pushes him back and makes him intangible for a second. Once all bottles are gone, he is dead. Like a classic side-scrolling character in all his pixelated glory, the Nerd can jump high and control his fall.
These are the weapons that the Nerd automatically have in every level. They cannot be removed nor do they need to be replenished.
- NES Zapper: The Nerd's standard pistol that can fire balls of concentrated energy unto a foe. It has unlimited ammo, has a high rate of fire similar to a machine gun, and can fire at distances roughly two-third of the screen. The gun is also omnidirectional, allowing the Nerd to fire almost in all directions, either it be left or right, downwards or upwards, diagonally, or while jumping.
- Power Glove: The Nintendo Power Glove appears in the game though its use is limited. The Nerd mostly uses it to be able to fire his NES Zapper while climbing ladders. Whenever the Nerd is idle or not moving, he would flip the bird at the player using the glove.
These are items that the Nerd automatically uses after every pick up. They cannot be stored.
- Super Scope: Another light gun accessory in the form a bazooka. Upon pick up, the gun has the same range, unlimited ammo, and rate of fire as the Zapper but is more powerful, capable of killing normal grunts with two hits. Like the NES Zapper, it is also omnidirectional. Sadly, it will disappear once the Nerd takes damage.
- Rolling Rock: The Nerd can pick up a bottle of his favorite liquor that can replenish one lost bottle.
The Nerd can pick up power-ups that are scattered throughout the level. The Nerd can only store one power-up at a time, which disappears after usage. This means he has to constantly pick up power-ups to replenish those he has used. These power-ups cannot be collected, so once the Nerd picks up a new different power-up, it will replace the one he has in his slot. Power-ups also disappear once the AVGN finishes a level or dies.
- Barrel of Rolling Rock: A metallic keg full of the Nerd's favorite liquor that, upon usage, would heal him back to full health instantly. Unlike the bottles of Rolling Rock, he can store them in the slot. Upon pick up, he can only carry one.
- Rocks: Reminiscent of the weapon used in the Friday the 13th game, the Nerd can also throw rocks at his enemies. They have puny range and limited damage but can be arced to hit targets atop ledges or enemies behind cover. They can also bounce on walls to continue hitting enemies. The Nerd can carry 10 of these rocks upon pick up.
- Game Graphic Glitch Gremlin: A power-up that allows the Nerd to summon the Glitch Gremlin who can temporarily make the environment glitch, immobilizing enemies, and warping reality into messed up pixels and bright weird colors. Upon pick up, the Nerd can use it twice. The Nerd can still move normally even if the environment have been warped.
- Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. Version 4.0 Beta: Arguably the most powerful power-up that the Nerd can use. Using it allows the Nerd to summon Super Mecha Death Christ, who will swoop in with his arsenal of godly weapons, automatically killing every enemy in the screen and dealing massive damage to bosses. Upon pick up, the Nerd can summon him once.
Gallery[]
X-Factors[]
It's no question that PewDiePie has the edge here both in terms of gameplay and in-game lore. He is fast enough to jump on top of moving vehicles and dodge lasers (though said lasers are slower video game lasers). He has superhuman endurance that allows him to survive the Arctic and the vacuum of space without any protective gear. And he's pretty strong too, capable of lifting his entire subscriber count equivalent to almost 40 million subs during the game's release.
The Nerd is also superhuman but his feats are few. He can jump high too, have the balance to ride and steer a floating surfboard, get his balls manhandled, move and jump faster than a rocket, and survive stuff that will kill a normal person (like drinking huge amounts of beer). But these are not that comparable to what PewDiePie can do. He's a nerd, what did you expect?
Both PewDiePie and AVGN faced numerous different enemies in their adventures. PewDiePie himself survived everything his game had to throw at him from exploding cows, werewolves, to meteors. However, most of his battles were against only one type of arch-enemy -- barrels. He fought against Generoll Barrel in a tank, Generoll Barrel in a flying tank, Generoll Barrel as a snow man, and the Barrel King. He did fight Falcon Lover but that's it. Most of these bosses were almost identical in terms of combat, mostly utilizing guns, spin moves, or throwing minions at PewDiePie. Not to mention that some levels had him relying upon the help of others.
AVGN had to face against horror-themed enemies, rainbow-themed enemies, sci-fi-themed enemies, porn-themed enemies, etc. Each of the nine levels he went through had one boss he needed to defeat by himself. And these bosses ranged from screwed up gigantic versions of the Berenstain Bears, Mister Hyde, Jason Voorhees, Santa Clause, the Giant Claw, Satan, and many more. Some of these bosses utilized long range attacks while others were up close and personal. They also had weaknesses and patterns that the Nerd exploited. As such, defeating these bosses required the Nerd to use tactics far more than PewDiePie.Scenario[]
It was not easy creating a scenario and ruleset that is fair for both characters. So far this is what I could think of.
The premise is simple -- both characters were playing a video game in their respective homes before they got isekai’ed into a virtual video game world. The game then ordered them to kill each other inside a series of levels. Only the winner would be allowed to escape said world.
However, this battle will not be your standard one-time face-to-face slugfest. To allow each character the chance to utilize all of their abilities, the scenario will consist of four-five levels. Each level has their separate rules and limitations. PewDiePie and AVGN are going to be dropped into separate corners of said level, and as such, the battle will not automatically begin in a fight. They will have to search for each other throughout these levels, all the while being given the opportunity to explore and gather consumables and power-ups. The levels will also serve as rounds, so whoever wins the most number of levels, wins.
The levels include:
- Fantasy Land: A colorful cartoon-ish level that serves as a 'tutorial level" inspired by Yoshi's Island 1 from Super Mario World. In this level, PewDiePie and AVGN has no knowledge of each other. This will be their first level and so each will only have their standard methods of combat. PewDiePie has not unlocked any special abilities yet, nor will there be any pickable power-ups for AVGN to use. However, this level will have consumables scattered all throughout that they can use. The level also consists of brown platforms, floating blocks, pit falls, and large pipes that would lead to underground bonus environments filled with the aforementioned consumables (most especially, coins). PewDiePie can earn as much as 2000 coins in this level.
- Underground Hell: A horror-themed "final level" inspired by the Cistern from Amnesia: The Dark Descent. In this level, it can be assumed that PewDiePie has earned enough coins to unlock some of his special abilities (though remember that he can only use two per level). The level is also filled with numerous power-ups that AVGN can pick up and use. Though underground, this level is huge, complete with balconies, towers, ladders, sewers and hanging bridges -- all of which contain consumables for the characters. PewDiePie can earn as much as 2000 coins in this level.
- Kill City: A level that takes the form of a city inspired by GTA: Vice City, complete with highways, buildings, overpasses, fly-overs, and parked cars. Again, PewDiePie will be allowed to unlock and choose any two special abilities, while AVGN is free to store any power-up he can find. Consumables are also scattered everywhere for them to use. By this point, we can assume that both characters have ample knowledge of each other and their gameplay. PewDiePie can earn as much as 2000 coins in this level.
- Sector 69: A level inspired by Sector 6 from Metroid: Fusion, this sci-fi themed underground place boasts a high maze filled with tunnels, futuristic machineries, caverns, rocky ledges and many explorable hidden areas. Again, PewDiePie will be allowed to unlock and choose any two special abilities he wants, while AVGN is free to store any power-up he can find. Consumables are also scattered everywhere for them to use. PewDiePie can earn as much as 2000 coins in this level.
- Youtube HQ: In case you believe that the four previous levels will end up in a tie, there will be an optional "bonus level" that will hopefully decide the victor. It's now or never as these two legendary gamers fight inside a pixelated version of the Youtube Headquarters, consisting of four buildings with multiple floors each. These buildings all have lobbies or reception desks, offices, mess halls, parking lots, elevators and stairs. Consumables will again be present here. For the final time, PewDiePie will only be allowed to bring two special abilities he can use, while the AVGN can pick up any power-up he can find.
Please remember that, once again, these levels will not automatically begin with them fighting head-on. They will roam around each level, looking for each other, while also being given the chance to pick up power-ups and consumables they can find. Other things to note include:
- There will be no vehicles in this battle, so PewDiePie will not have his mini plane and UFO, while AVGN will not have his Silver Surfer surfboard and Bruce the Shark.
- This will also be just between the two characters, so there will be no outside help from supporting casts, nor will there be any hostile enemies or AIs that will attack them.
- The characters will only be limited to whatever weapon, power, and ability I have listed above. This is not nerfing since you can pretty much finish each of their games without unlocking or using everything (besides, of course, the standard weapons and abilities and the Legendary Bro Fist). And hell, listing everything will drive me crazy.
- The characters will not have any knowledge of the levels' layout even though they are inspired by games that they have played. Each level's map, its look and size, will be too different for them to recognize for their advantage.
Notes[]
- This will be PewDiePie as he appeared in PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist and the Nerd as he appeared in the Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures I (Easy Mode) from AVGN 1 & 2: Deluxe.
- I know that I am using gameplay mechanics here. But since both these games came from indie games that had little cutscenes or other sources of information, I have to rely on gameplay mechanics.
- It will be up to you to think what power-up each character will choose. Since the scenario takes four-five levels to finish, there is time for the characters to learn, plan, and decide how they will fight one another.
- Votes must have edges on weapons, abilities, and x-factors. They must also be based on the scenario. Short phrases as votes will not count.
Battle[]
The 21st century, specifically the late 2010s.
On the opposite sides of the world, two legendary gamers sat inside their homes, their eyes stuck unto the screen. One was a handsome bro from Sweden who laughed as he played the new Resident Evil game. The other was a different, more foul-tempered nerd from the United States of America. Both were busy creating content for their Youtube channels. Both focused on making their fans happy and proud. Both were no strangers to controversy and spite. Yet today, they would experience something unlike they had ever seen before.
Mysterious holes erupted in front of their screens, similar to the warp zone from the classic Captain N cartoon.
“The fuck is this?” the Swedish gamer, Pewdiepie, asked to his camera. “Know anything about this, bros?”
Suddenly, the pull of the holes grew stronger. And before they knew it, the gravity took them off their seats and sucked them in.
“What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuu…” the American gamer, the Angry Video Game Nerd himself, yelled.
When both gamers opened their eyes, they were inside a big white room, inspired by the one from The Matrix. They laid facing each other awkwardly, their hands held together, which prompted them to quickly get back up on their feet.
“Oh man! No h*mo!” remarked Pewdiepie. “Ah shit. Maybe I shouldn’t said that. Now I’m getting banned from Youtube for good (or am I?)”
“Oh great, it’s you,” the Nerd said as he laid eyes on the gaming commentator.
“Holy shit, are you the Angry Video Game Nerd?!” Pewdiepie said excitedly. “Bro, I’m a big fan of yours since I was- ”
“Fuck this place, fuck my life, and fuck this store-brought middle-age Justin Beiber in the ass!” interrupted the Nerd.
“Woah, take it easy man. Fuck you too, Mr. Angry Lame Lazy Plagiarist!”
“Fuck you first, you fucking Nazi!”
Their little bitch fight was put into a halt the moment a lady appeared in the room, wearing an expensive suit that was crimson red in color. She walked towards the two with eyes serious and sinister.
“Oh man,” Pewdiepie grumbled. “Of course it’s you, Susan!
“Zip it, Swedish meatballs,” the CEO of Youtube said. “Both of you have been a pain in our asses for far too long. Although you both bring the dough, your toxicity, volatility, and complaints against this site, have proven too much for us. I think it’s time that you both be retired from our system... permanently!”
“Oh yeah? Well fuck you and your child-friendly site. Bring back the REAL Youtube!”
“Shut the hell up, Nerd! Brace your assholes, cause a new Adpocalypse has begun!”
And before Pewdiepie and the Nerd could respond, they were transported yet again to God knows where.
Round 1
Pewdiepie and the Nerd landed on opposite sides of a strange colorful land that had green hills, tunnels, blue skies and bright yellow sunlight. A voice then whispered inside their heads: “If you want to leave this place, kill each other!”
“Damn!” Pewdiepie said. “Gotta get me some coins to level up! Gotta get those power-ups.”
The Nerd, on the other hand, put on his power glove before drawing his zapper. “It’s time to chew ass and kick bubble gum… and I’m all out of AAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!”
For several minutes, both went around the place looking for each other. The Nerd carefully stalked every hill and bush, while Pewdiepie hanged about inside the tunnels together with his little pugs, collecting coins. “Let’s go you two!” Pewdiepie said to them. “Let’s show this loser why we are #1 in Youtube.”
“Only number #3 now, Pubes-du-pie!” The Nerd yelled out of nowhere.
“Oh yeah?! Well get ready to get smashed, BITCH LASAGNA!” screamed Pewdiepie.
“Bring it on, triceratops doo doo!” The Need replied before firing his zapper.
Pewdiepie jumped all around the battlefield, trying his best to dodge the Nerd’s attacks. Although he tried his best, the Nerd’s gun was too unrelenting. He just couldn’t get close. Soon Pewdiepie's two pugs got axed, and his hearts, which served as his health bar, began dwindling.
“Gotta think fast, bros! What should I do?” Pewdiepie panicked.
“Take the leap of faith and come forward!” The Nerd yelled.
“Good idea!” Pewdiepie said as he prepared his knees and jumped high into the air. As he fell back to earth, he aimed his boots at the Nerd, intending to squish him. But the Nerd rolled out of the way, grabbed a super scope consumable, and blasted Pewdiepie with even more poweful energy projectiles, vaporizing him.
“Hehe, idiot,” The Nerd remarked. “No… Cowa-fucking-piece-of-dog-shit!”
Winner: AVGN
Round 2
The next round opened as soon as the last round ended. Before jumping into the round, Pewdiepie decided to get some power-ups using the coins he had collected to even the odds against that gun-totting Nerd. That fucko wouldn’t be seeing what Pewdiepie had in store.
Both gamers were then inserted into the new battlefield. This time, they were in an underground cistern that was eerie and scary, totally giving survival horror vibes. Pewdiepie and the Nerd wasted no time getting consumables and power-ups they could use.
Both eventually met and faced each other in the middle of the cistern. Pewdiepie was on top of a railing while The Nerd was below him after having come out of a tunnel. “You ready to get your ass handed to you, again?!” The Nerd yelled.
“You wish, bitch!” bantered Pewdiepie back. “Many had already tasted the good ol’ Swedish ham, but you ain’t gonna get a slice.”
The Nerd went for his gun and aimed. But before he could pull the trigger, Pewdiepie unleashed his new power-up. He clenched his fist and seemingly punched the air. A sudden surge of energy rippled throughout the cistern, making water hazy, concrete cracked, and the Nerd flying into their air and landing on his butt. A huge amount of his health bar was taken away.
“What the fuck was that?!” remarked the Nerd as he tried to steady his dizzy mind.
“It’s my brofist, bruh,” Pewdiepie said. “But I ain’t killing you with it. Vermin like you deserve to die by my boot!”
The gamer then jumped into the air and aimed his landing at the Nerd. As the groggy Nerd tried to get up, Pewdiepie landed on top of him, creating a splash of blood.
“Nothing personal, kid. But I had to go all out… just this once…”
Winner: Pewdiepie
Round 3
For the next round, Pewdiepie decided to buy more power-ups and increase his health with more coins he collected. The Nerd, on the other hand, was fuming that discount Dan Stevens managed to kill him. He underestimated this handsome little cringe lord, and so decided to be more cautious this time.
When the round began, the Nerd kept his distance as possible, while collecting power-ups and consumables. The place they were at was a modern city filled with cars, pedestrians, and nutjob gangsters shooting each other with guns. Pedestrians rolled by, giving the Nerd the bird, pissing him off.
The moment the two once again faced, Pewdiepie prepared his brofist to take this Nerd back to 2004. “Suck on this!” Pewdiepie yelled.
But before Pewdiepie could punch, the Nerd unleashed the power-up he found, the glitch gremlin, which flew into the battlefield bearing middle fingers of torture. Time stopped and Pewdiepie became immobile as the world glitched and lagged.
The Nerd hastily let out energy projectiles from his zapper. Both of Pewdiepie’s pugs were brutally killed before Pewdiepie’s health began to crumble.
“Holy shit!” Pewdiepie yelled the moment he got back to his senses. He jumped unto the back of a speeding sportscar as the Nerd continued to fire. The Nerd then gave chase.
Pewdiepie kept jumping on top of speeding cars. After gaining some distance, he used a new power-up, Dr. Crab, to heal himself. The crab managed to get him a few more hearts. Pewdiepie then jumped off the car, rolled unto the pedestrian lane, and took cover behind a parked SUV. He looked around anxiously to see where that Nerd was at while keeping his brofist ready like a loaded gun.
“That motherfucker going all Dio Brando against me,” Pewdiepie whispered. He then looked at the camera and smiled, saying, “Heh. I give that shameless use of a Jojo reference a (clap)(clap) 5!”
Unfortunately, the world again glitched, immobilizing Pewdiepie once again. There came the Nerd walking like he was frigging Arnold Schwarzenegger, holding a super scope in his arms. He fired at the car where Pewdiepie took cover, blowing it up, and sending Pewdiepie kissing the building wall in front of him.
The Nerd did not let out as he kept on firing his gun at the splattered Pewdiepie. “Uuuggghhh!!! Die asshole! Die!” The Nerd yelled.
Soon, Pewdiepie’s body disappeared, signalling another win for the Nerd.
Winner: AVGN
Round 4
The final mission was where it’s at. It was now or never. The new battlefield took place in an alien planet, greenish dark in color with the occasional red. It had underground mazes and overhead platforms. It had jellysquid-like AIs floating about.
Pewdiepie made sure to stock up on all his needed power-ups for this fight. This victory was for his beloved Youtube friends, his beautiful wife, and for all his bros worldwide. “Let’s do this!”
The moment Pewdiepie was finished, he jumped straight into the slimy maze. “Man,” Pewdiepie commented. “This place looks like someone broccoli barfed into an oversized box...”
“You’re mom has an OVERSIZED BOX!” The Nerd yelled out of nowhere as he began firing. Again, Pewdiepie’s pugs took hits for him, giving him that split second to unleash his brofist.
The Nerd fell down to the ground as a third of his health was eaten by that attack. Thankfully, he had a keg of rolling rock to fully heal from that attack. The Nerd then fired his zapper again, this time hitting Pewdiepie in the shoulder. Grunting in pain, Pewdiepie jumped up unto a ledge to grab a heart to replenish his health. He then used another power-up that transformed him into a... duck.
Although confused, the Nerd continued firing. However, he soon found out that his weapon was doing nothing.
“Booga booga booga! Hahaha” yelled Pewdiepie.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkk!!!!” The Nerd screamed in retreat from the invincible duck.
“Don’t you dare run away from me, Nerd! I’m here to make you eat your own guts!”
Several stomps from Pewdiepie slowly diminished The Nerd’s health bar. The Nerd tried to crawl into a tunnel, but a duck stomp would greet him the moment he got out from the opposite end. He tried to jump towards a ledge, but a duck stomp made him crash back to the ground. The Nerd tried to fight the duck, but his attacks proved nothing, and he was only greeted with a duck stomp to the face.
“Dammit someone help!” The Nerd yelled as Pewdiepie came at him quacking.
“Oh Lord! Jesus! Help me!” The Nerd yelled. Suddenly, he came across a power-up, the mega death christ itself. “Thank God!” he said while picking it up. And if it couldn’t be much worse, Pewdiepie ran out of time and reverted back to his human form.
“Eat this motherfucker!” shouted the Nerd as he used the power-up to summon the unholy Mega Death Christ.
“FUCKERS!!!!” it yelled as it struck Pewdiepie with bullets, explosives, and lasers. But after spending all its arsenal, the power-up was not yet done. It decided to ram Pewdiepie’s corpse from below its deck and deface the whole ground with Pewdiepie’s face.
“Ooooh!” The Nerd, remarked, wincingly. He then looked at the camera with his signature drooping frown, before saying “That guy sucks!”
Last Round
“So yeah, this isn’t finished,” Susan proclaimed. Both Pewdiepie and the Nerd looked at her in shock, their teeth gritting.
“Don’t you know how much views you guys made?” she said. “The first round alone got 24 million views in just half a day! So we here at Youtube decided to prolong your suffering! You guys are gonna fight one last brutal round.”
“If I win,” Pewdiepie said. “Do I get to be #1 channel again?”
“Maybe...” she replied.
“If I win, are you guys finally going to learn about fair use?”
“Yeah… no.”
Susan allowed the two to fight inside the Youtube headquarters itself, after all the budget went empty from that recent round. They wer ejust too cheap to actually use their money for the final fight. Besdies, this was more entertaining. This time, the two were going to fight in a modern building — the place most familiar to them.
And guess what? All the Youtube family was there to witness the final bloodbath.
“Hello, it’s me killer KEEMSTAR, live streaming this fight, to YOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!”
“Mattpat here and we’re going to try and predict who’s going to win using SCIENCE!”
“Welcome to the AngryJoeShow and I’m giving this battle a BADASS SEAL OF APPROVAL!”
“Hi! I’m Mr.Beast! And today, we are going to give out 6 million laptops to 4.5 million orphanages and plant 85 million trees for every fanboy tears that will be shed today.”
“GIMME DE GIMME DE GIMME DE PUSI BOSS! FEED MY CHILDREN! FEED MY CHILDREN!”
The two were given time to prepare and roam around the halls. This was it. The last round. So they have to make it count... for their fans.
Finally, the epic finale began.
While Pewdiepie was walking in the main hall, filled with benches, chairs, on a wide tiled floor, the Nerd appeared from above, firing his zapper.
Pewdiepie anticipated this and used his power-up stephano’s scimitars to summon floating swords that surrounded him, blocking the zapper’s energy projectiles. The Swedish Gaming King followed up by using his time warp power-up to slow down time around him.
The moment the Nerd’s movement slowed, Pewdiepie quickly capitalized by jumping numerous times on the Nerd’s head.
“F-f-f-fuuuuuuuckkkkk!” yelled the Nerd. Pewdiepie then jumped away as time went back to normal, complete with a smug on his face.
The Nerd retaliated by using a power-up he picked up earlier. He began hurling stones at Pewdiepie. While the latter easily dodged them while laughing his ass off, the stones somehow bounced off the walls and hit Pewdiepie. The enclosed space of the Youtube headquarters increased the lethality of those stones. Wherever Pewdiepie went, he would be hit randomly by the one of those stones.
“Stooooop!” Pewdiepie screamed.
“What?!” replied the Nerd.
“Why are we fighting?” Pewdiepie explained as tears flowed from his eyes and sad dramatic music played. “Why can’t we all just be friends? Go and sing Wonderwall together? Be fabulous together? You know? Be bros!”
The Nerd pondered a bit on Pewdiepie’s suggestion. Such a philosphical, humanistic statement, got the Nerd’s head wrapped up in an existential debate. What a deep question! What an amazing thought! What an amazing—
“Nah!” The Nerd said with a chuckle. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“If you wanna fight?” Pewdiepie bantered back. “Let’s fight and finish this like real Youtube stars! Let’s finish this with an epic rap battle!”
“Hell yeah!” answered the Nerd.
Pewdiepie… VERSUS… THHHHHEEEEE ANGRRRRYYYY VIDEOOOOGAAAAMMMEEE NEEEEEEERRRRRRRD! BEGIN!
Pewdiepie: Look bros! Mr. Irrelevant is here. I thought you started a rock band, oh wait, what a treat! Rex Viper is a failure, and so is your career. You call yourself the Bullshit Man? Ha! More like Mr. Has-Been! The only drama you won was with that loser, Nostalgia Critic. I fucking fought Disney, T-Series, and even goddamn Wall Street! You can’t touch me Nerd, I got that Youtube shine. You look like someone who recorded a cringy clip from 2009!
AVGN: Is that what you got? Fucking lame! Go and hear some tunes. You’re a Nazi, a dumbass n-word spitting buffoon! Don’t call me irrelevant, asshole, cause I’m a pioneer! Youtube made you famous, but in Rewind? Bye bye, you were freed! Don’t fuck with me because I’m a veteran, you fool! You got beaten by a corporate whom you thought was from Bangladesh… Oops! You got some dudes harassed cause you said something about Hitler? What a trainwreck of a gamer like shitty Lionmaker!
Pewdiepie: Fuck off, man! Don’t you even fucking compare! You’re nothing! Even your words are probably stolen to be “fair”! You burned and crashed like your former boss, Screwattack. Went down in flames like your silly Ghostbusters rant! I play Minecraft, Amnesia, and all the modern games. You fucking play old crap that 40-year-olds reminsce! I’m the king of Youtube, the greatest motherfucker there is! Be like RayWilliamJohnson and go retire, ya stupid twit!
AVGN: AAAAASSSSS! That is my only opinion of you! You stink, making me gag, like a hot manure. You’re a dipshit! Fuckwit! Assfaced fuck! I’d rather eat Boogie’s butt, than look at your ugly mug! Look at you! No talent! Can’t even record a decent video. I fucking made short movies while you were playing with Legos! You guest-starring in Conan was a dumpster fire! No quips, mute as fuck, looking like he’s about to cry! This battle is over, you lost, don’t you deny! My criticisms of you were hot, you just got crispy fried!!!!!
The sudden humiliation that coursed through Pewdiepie’s veins after the Nerd made him remember that Conan guest appearance, gut punched Pewdiepie so bad that the oil in his fat made him combust into a blazing infero.
Pewdiepie looked at himself which was now engulfed in flames. He was... in a lack of a better term... roasted. "This is it bros..." Pewdiepie said to the camera, before placing his fist in front of it. "One final brofist to all my fans!"
The battle was over and the Nerd yelled in victory, “FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCKK!!!”
Winner: The Angry Video Game Nerd
Expert's Opinion[]
The experts believe that AVGN won this battle due to having a ranged weapon and powers that are more practical. While PewDiePie's power-ups are powerful, they prove problematic since he has to use coins to unlock them, and he can only use two at a time. The Nerd can pick up and use any power-up he can find.