So yeah. I've decided to take a break from making literary battles and go back to my favorite media: video games. And though Halloween is already over, I thought maybe it's not too late to make a scary horror-themed battle; between two of zombie gaming's wackiest characters, no less!
Julia Starling, the lollipop-eating zombie-killing sexy cheerleader! Versus... Stubbs the Zombie, the salesman-turned-zombie and rebel without a pulse!
It's a battle between a teenage zombie killer from the 80s and a literal zombie from the 60s! It's a battle between third-person heroes from eons ago remade for the modern audience. A battle between lollipop vs cigarette... the sexy versus the undead!
Who is... DEADLIEST?!
Juliet Starling[]
"Killing zombies gives me total wood" - Juliet Starling
Juliet Starling (ジュリエット・スターリング, Jurietto Sutāringu) is the main protagonist of Lollipop Chainsaw. A seemingly average teenage girl, Juliet is also a member of the cheer-leading squad, a loving daughter to her family, and has an obsession with lollipops and shopping. But what people don't know about Juliet and her family is that they are part of a long line of hunters, tasked with slaying zombies and all things supernatural.
One day, a surprised Juliet discovers her school has been infested with zombies. Taking out her trusty chainsaw, Juliet proceeds to slaughter the undead, all the while helping out various students along the way and protecting her boyfriend, Nick Carlyle. Juliet becomes the last line of defense against not only the zombie infestation, but also her disgruntled music-loving schoolmates and undead lords, the Swan and the Dark Purveyors.
Weapons, Powers, and Abilities[]
LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW Full Gameplay Walkthrough - No Commentary 【FULL GAME】4K UHD
Juliet Starling in action.
- Bedazzled Chainsaw: Juliet's signature powerful weapon. What made the chainsaw special is its capability to cut through nearly everything, glowing a bright orange color when used in combat. Its long length and large surface area allows it to cut through hordes of zombies like butter. Being well-trained with it, Juliet has no problem lugging it around, and can even perform several moves:
- Chainsaw Blaster: Juliet's chainsaw has the ability to turn into a gun, allowing her to shoot explosive projectiles at enemies. It could shoot about 8-rounds at a time before reloading.
- Chainsaw Dash: Juliet stabs her chainsaw to the ground and creates a speed boost that could propel her of.
- Chainsaw Drill: Juliet swings her chainsaw in two wide arcs, propelling herself forward and striking anyone in her path.
- Chainsaw Stab: Juliet thrusts her chainsaw in front of her, striking anyone ahead.
- Chainsaw Strike: Juliet will do full swings with her chainsaw before slamming it to the ground on her target.
- Armadillo Spin: Juliet performs two low strikes before flipping into the air; with her chainsaw sticking out in front and slicing anyone in her path.
- Brutal Cut: Juliet does a wide low swing with her chainsaw before doing a high vertical slash, followed by a large rising cut to finish enemies off.
- Jump Stab: Juliet leaps into the air before doing rapid chainsaw strikes.
- Loli-O-Copter: When Juliet does a chainsaw dash, she will jump and begin to spin around, creating a tornado of skirt and chainsaw teeth, striking anyone near.
- Lollipop Split: Juliet flips over her opponent before stabbing them in the back and slicing them in half.
- Lolipop Stab: Juliet jumps and dives down, chainsaw first, onto an opponent.
- Maelstrom Spin: Juliet does a series of low spins while moving forward, covering a wide area. This would be followed up with a chainsaw strike.
- Pom-Poms: Juliet's secondary weapon, and a trademark equipment of cheerleaders. Her pom-poms are made up of tough materials that allow it to damage foes without getting damaged themselves. Pom-poms are relatively quicker than the chainsaw, but deals less damage. That being said, some of its special attacks could be done in conjunction with her chainsaw, creating more mayhem. With her pom-poms, Juliet can perform several moves:
- Pom-Pom Bash: Juliet uses her pom-poms to stun and damage enemies. Although this attack is not as effective as her other chainsaw equivalent.
- Cheerleader Chain: Juliet can perform a quick series of powerful hits with her pom-poms. This ca hit several enemies at once and soften them up for the kill.
- Holy Chainsaw: After Juliet does a series of Pom-Pom Bashes, she will do a handstand and swing her chainsaw in two full circles, before finally flipping into the air and bringing down her chainsaw onto the opponent's head.
- Nick: Juliet's boyfriend, Nick, who was transformed into a disembodied head, to prevent him from becoming fully transformed into a zombie after getting bitten. Nick can assist Juliet in combat through several specialized moves:
- Nick Popper: Juliet can stun several enemies nearby by shooting Nick towards them. Provided by Rosalind, Juliet can follow up the attack with a chainsaw slash that will decapitate the remaining zombies.
- Nick Shoot: Juliet can kick Nick towards her enemies, and cause them to be groggy. This will give her the opportunity to kill said enemies. But this isn't always guaranteed to stun all surrounding zombies.
- Nick Toss: Through the Nick Roulette, Juliet can use Nick's head to make circling enemies groggy.
- Athletic Ability: As Cheerleader Captain of San Romero, Juliet is highly skilled in athletic ability, allowing her to perform leaps of unrealistic feats, acrobatic capabilities, with extended endurance, and sheer force. Even for a thin girl, she can take a hit and dish out some as well. Additionally, as a part time student of Sensei Morikawa, Juliet has been trained in karate, capable of fending off several enemies, nearly without any signs of difficulty or vulnerability. She also has several combat-related moves that don't utilize weapons, such as:
- Butt Attack: Juliet will turn and kick off the ground, hitting the enemy with her butt. This attack will temporarily stun enemies but it's not very accurate.
- Dropkick: Juliet will leap into the air and do a double kick; knocking her opponent away.
- Body Bash: Juliet will leap over something before slamming herself unto her opponent.
Stubbs the Zombie[]
"Brains! Brrrrraaaaaiiiinnnns... BRAINS!" - Stubbs the Zombie
Edward "Eddie" Stubblefield, also known as "Stubbs the Zombie", is a zombie and the protagonist of Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse. He was a former salesman from the 1930s Great Depression who was murdered and came back as a zombie in the 1960s. Stubbs is a tall, skinny man with black hair and blue eyes. Being a zombie, he has green skin and wears a torn-up brown suit along with a matching fedora. Some of his bones and organs are also sticking out of his body.
Stubbs is mostly driven by a desire for revenge and a hunger for brains. But despite his destructive ways, he views most humans as potential zombie friends and will work together with other zombies for his undead survival and goals. Throughout his adventures, he fought against policeman, the US Army, other crazed maniacs, evil scientists and industrialists, and many more, just to get revenge on the people who killed him, and hopefully get back the only woman he has ever loved.
Weapons, Powers, and Abilities[]
Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse - Full Game Gameplay Walkthrough (No Commentary)
Stubbs the Zombie in action.
- Zombie Physiology: Stubbs mainly fights using his arms, legs and jaws. He can claw, punch, kick, grapple and bite his foes. Complimenting these natural weapons was his superhuman strength. This zombie can gnaw through a person's skull or rip limbs and use them as bludgeoning tools.
- As an undead zombie, Stubbs is very hard-to-kill -- if he can even be killed at all. He was durable enough to resist bullets, melee attacks (including chainsaws), energy weapons, electricity, and survive explosions. He once tanked a blast that destroyed a building and sent him flying, and survived having a whole dam burst right in front of him.
- His regeneration and healing factor are so potent that he can automatically heal wounds, and quickly regrow lost tissues, limbs, and even his head with just a thought. The only real way to beat him is to overwhelm him with numbers, though this is not enough to kill him, only capturing him. Eating brains can also accelerate his healing.
- Infection: Every person Stubbs kills, specifically those he has killed physically, will turn into mindless zombies. In turn, every person these zombies kill also becomes zombies. These horde of zombies is not as smart as Stubbs, but they can be led and directed to attack Stubbs' enemies. These zombies are also hard to kill; capable of still attacking even without a head or legs. They attack mostly by biting, striking, and grappling, with a selected few capable of using melee weapons.
- Special Attacks: As a highly-evolved form of zombie, Stubbs had a unique set of attacks with various kinds of effects. In order to utilize these attacks, Stubbs need to consume brains. Eating brains allowed Stubbs to replenish his energy and unlock or use these special attacks:
- Lethal Farts: Stubbs could unleash a huge fart around an area, stunning and choking anyone near him, opening them for a finishing blow. This move was the quickest to cooldown/regenerate.
- Gut Grenades: Stubbs' organs were explosive in nature. He could reach into the hole in his side and pull out one of his guts and other organs. Throwing them like a grenade, the resulting explosion could launch and kill anyone within a limited radius. The organs also had a tendency to stick unto walls and enemies, and were really hard to remove. Stubbs could throw three organs in quick succession before needing to eat brains to regenerate ammo.
- In-game, a well-placed gut grenade on Chief Masters was strong enough to level up a whole police station.
- Zombie Possession: Stubbs could rip off his own arm and launch it. The hand had a mind of its own, capable of sneaking around and sticking to walls. It could generally be used to infiltrate buildings and sneak behind people. The arm also had the power to possess and control anyone it grabbed hold onto. When the possession ended, Stubbs could regrow a new arm and his victim would die.
- Do note that this move will not work if the target is wearing a helmet.
- Heads Rolling: Stubbs could rip off his own head and use it like a bowling ball, taking out several foes before exploding. Said head could be controlled and directed in order to reach the target Stubbs intended to blow up. After Stubbs was done, he would reach into his neck and his head would grow back. This move had a longer cooldown compared to others, but was generally considered the most powerful, capable of blowing up not only flesh but also machinery and force fields.
X-Factors[]
Physicality
Both characters had superhuman strength, but differed in other physical traits that were tied to their fighting styles. Juliet Starling preferred to battle her foes through her speed, agility, and acrobatics, honed through her time as an athletic cheerleader, karate expert, and professional monster slayer. She could dash towards enemies, easily flip away from danger, and maneuver herself even against a horde of zombies and gigantic bosses.
Stubbs the Zombie was the opposite. As a zombie, he lacked any speed or movement related feats. Although he could sprint and lunge unlike the stereotypical zombie of fiction, he was far from Juliet's league. That being said, Stubbs did have a durability advantage. His methods basically involved tanking whatever his opponents threw at him, and retaliated either by getting up close, using his zombie horde, or utilizing his long range attacks. In contrast to other zombies, Stubbs could also use stealth in the form of his zombie hand.
Intelligence
Juliet had been described by his family as a tactical genius, with a high GDA, and training from a lineage of zombie hunters. However, her intelligence didn't really showed much during combat. Throughout her adventures, she mostly preferred hacking and slashing her way using brute force, with little to no nuance and complexity in her strategy. Although some boss battles involved manipulation of patterns, these were simple and obvious. There were also instances where she needed her boyfriend, mentor, and other family members to suggest plans for her.
Stubbs didn't seem much of an intelligent character at first, being a zombie, after all. But surprisingly, he had shown the ability to adapt and create complex tactics, both before and during a fight. Like a general, he could lead his zombie horde to kill his enemies. He once also drove a vehicle called the "sod-o-mobile", a large weaponized garbage vehicle, to fight off the police. Further testament to his intellect was the time when he escaped a police precinct, by sneaking around the facility using his arm, taking control of a cop, killing off the remaining policemen one-by-one, then freeing himself.
Experience
Juliet and Stubbs had fought their fair share of weird but powerful enemies, besides of course, the standard zombie. Juliet was a professional when it came to killing the undead, slaughtering whole groups of them by herself. She also defeated more powerful specialized enemies that served as her game's bosses, such as Zed, Vikki, Mariska, Joey, Lewis and Killabily. These bosses could utilize different forms, and had a myriad of powers ranging from energy projectiles, rockets, levitation, size manipulation, creating multiple clones of themselves, and more. Some could even reach eldricht and kaiju proportions during combat.
Stubbs' enemies ranged from armed cops, armored SWAT, combat robots, the US Army, mad scientists, militia members, and even tanks and tank-like vehicles. He's also fought superpowered beings that served as his game's bosses, from Police Chief Masters, Cletus the chainsaw wielding maniac, Mr Skegness, to industrialist Andrew Monday. These bosses proved harder to kill and some had unique gadgets and gizmos like force fields and automatic ray guns. Stubbs' most dangerous foe was arguably Dr. Hermann Wye, a former Nazi scientist who fought using a jetpack, force field, tractor beam, and other energy weapons.
Notes[]
- Battle takes place in a highly-populated large city. Both combatants are dropped into separate areas.
- The story will be Juliet arriving in the city to investigate the arrival of a zombie who has caused a massive infection. That zombie will be Stubbs.
- Battle ends either in death, knockout, or incapacitation of any kind.
- Each characters will be fighting only with their basic weapons and abilities. Juliet will not have her consumables like her lollipop, nor will Stubbs have access to his vehicles like tanks and the sod-o-mobile.
Battle[]
TBW
Expert's Opinion[]
Votes end up being tied. While Juliet's speed, mobility, and better fighting capabilities as a zombie hunter, she still doesn't anything that can actually destroy or put down Stubbs for good. On the other hand, Stubbs doesn't have anything to be able to tag the speedy Juliet. In the end, it's a draw.