300 ORCS VS 3000 ZOMBIES[]
Who is Nastier?
Who is smellier?
Who is the most disturbed?
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
STATS:[]
| Weapons | Orcs (Smagas, a few Black Uruks of Mordor) | Zombies (Deadliest warrior/Romero version) |
|---|---|---|
| Short range | Orc Dagger (i.e. Morgul blades, other knives, all steel and poisoned) | Zombie bite (255 lbs of pressure per square inch, causes infections, death, and in humans at least, reanimation as a walking corpse) |
| Mid range | Orc Scimitar (also steel andpoisoned), war club, Spear (steel tip, poisoned) | Zombie hands (Zombies 3 times stronger than humans of same size, if fingers are chewed leaving bony tips, they can pass as claws) |
| Long range | Orc Bow and arrow (arrowheads poisoned) | Zombie Moan (gathers other zombies, psychological weapon) |
| Special | Abnormal strength (like non-human primate of same size), ferocity. With elven heritage, potential to live thousands of years, infinite lifespan until killed (getting some experience along the way), heightened sense of smell, terrible appearance. Uruk forms bigger, stronger, more formidable | abnormal strength (see above in mid range), immune to pain, fears only fire, Zombie virus (spread by bite, or possibly ingesting zombie flesh matter), Great numbers |
BATTLE[]
On the Pelennor fields of Gondor, during a gold colored, murky dawn, the Rock band Disturbed begins to play their song, "Down with the Sickness". As the lead singer begins sinning and the lead guitarist begins to pick up tempo, an army of 300 orcs, mostly Snagas with a few big Black Uruks of Mordor commanding, march out to face a horde of the undead, which outnumber them 10 to 1.
"Drown deep in my sea of loathing,
Broken your servant I kneel
(Will you give it to me?)
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me
(will you give it to me?)"
The Uruk high commander sneers, seeing the undead shamble towards them under the rising sun. They come in all ages, some ancient, some children, most of them adults or subadults. He growls at all the smaller Snagas, getting them to remain calm and disciplined. The Zombies moan.
"Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently is changes (oh no)
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me..."
The Uruk commanders order the Snagas to fire arrow volleys. The Snagas comply. Though they are poor shots, there is so many Zombies about that their arrows eventually find targets. However, all but a few Zombies go down. One of the Snagas notices that only head shots bring them down. He tells this to the High Uruk, who relays it to his orcs and orders a charge. The Orcs pull out their swords, clubs, daggers, or ready their spears. The Orcs howl and roar. They charge, and the Zombies go out to meet their meal.
They Clash!
"Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Open your hate, and let it flow into me!
Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
You Mother get up come on get down with the sickness!
You --- Get up come on get down with the Sickness!
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me!"
The Orcs slash with their scimitars, strike with their clubs, or even punch the skulls of the enemy, each blow a fatal wound to the Zombies. Some however are overcome and devoured, many dying from the diseases of the Zombie teeth before they can be fully eaten. The Uruks doo better, shrugging many zombies off with ease. The Snagas bite back at the undead, but immediatelyspit out the awful decay in their mouths, opening themselves up for a counterbite. One big Snaga grabs two of the undead and ramms their heads into each other, killing both by hi awesome power. One of the Uruks bodyslams a big zombie, lifts a boudler, and smashes the fallen Zombie's head by hurling it onto him. Roars from both sides fill the fields, the battle shaking the soils. The Uruk Commanders continue to press on with orders and scimitar sweeps.
"I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel
(Wil you give it to me?)
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
(Will you give it to me?)
By now half the undead are slain. However, 200 orcs have been overpowered and butchered. The Uruks slash with their whips to keep the Snagas in line, but it is almost impossible to keep them from retreating. Yet the Zombies solve this for them, surrounding the Orcs with their numbers and driving into the remaining monsters of Mordor. The Uruks order the Snagas into better formation to deal with the instinctual pincer movement, and the Snagas themselves undergo berserker fury as they fight for their very lives, if not their very souls.
"It seems your having some trouble
in dealing with these changes
Living with the changes (oh no)
The world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon in me!"
The Snagas fight well, but grow undisciplined. The Uruks try to make up for this by howling them on, but the Zombies continually chew their way towards the center orcs. The Snagas adrenaline is fever pitch, however, and the Zombies numbers are less than 800, and falling fast! Meanwhile, the Zombies have had trouble trying to get past the armor of the orcs, but eventually ther numbers give them the strength to tear it off and continue to eat. Many however have stopped fighting the orcs and devote themselves to eating the Orcish dead.
"Get Up! Come on get down with the sickness!
Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Get up come on get down with the sickess!
Open your hate and let it flow into me!
Get up and come on get down with the sickness!
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness!
You --- get up come on get down with the sickness!
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me!"
The last of the Orcs are finally seeing victory at hand. The last few zombies attacking them number but 19, while four Uruk and one Snaga remain of the orcs: enough to ensure victory. None of the Uruks have fallen, and though the remaining Snaga has his throat ripped out by a Zombie's bite, they slay the 19 and target the remaining zombies who feast on the dead Orcs. The last Zombie to die is a little girl, who snarls at the Uruks with amber/green eyes and a fury worthy of the Orc kind. The Chie Uruk smiles at the child, then slays her with a blow of his scimitar, chopping the head sideways in two.
Seeing no more Zombies, the Uruks gather in a circle and raise their swords into the air.
"For the glory of the Uruk-Hai, for the glory or Mordor, for the glory of Sauron!" the Uruks chant, though you cannot hear them due to the band Disturbed, which starts with the more chaotic, less desirable part of their song, a part that gets the Uruks attention.
The band continues the maddenign conclusion to their song, until the lead singer and head guitarist gawk and grow quiet. The other band members are about to ask them what was wrong when they notice it two. The band runs away, leaving their equipment, while the Uruks charge after them, their scimitars raised in the air, their voices like the bellows of demons of the ancient world...
WINNER: ORCS[]
After considerable debate, it was determined by a majority that the 10 to 1 odds were not enough for the dumb undead to defeat well armed, armored, and super strong orc troops of Mordor especially since they had some Big Uruks alongside them.