Tonight on Deadliest Fiction, our latest effort to counter the rising homelessness crisis brings us to Japan for a cat and mouse game between unyielding pursuers of justice, no matter how twisted their definition of it may be. It's a showdown between Dale Cooper, the elite FBI agent investigating the murder of a high schooler that quickly found himself the champion in a war between cosmic forces, and Light Yagami, the arrogant teenager who used the magical Death Note in a bid to rid the world of crime and become "God of the New World"! It'll be a battle of wits, but only one can prevail and give us the answer to the ultimate question...
WHO...IS...DEADLIEST???
Intro[]
Dale Cooper[]
| “ | I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.
— Dale Cooper
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” |
Known for his eccentric behavior and his open-minded way of thinking, Dale Cooper is one of the most talented agents in FBI, recruited at a young age and brought under the mentorship of both Windom Earle and FBI Chief Gordon Cole. Cooper's natural curiosity made him a valuable asset to the agency as part of the "Blue Rose" task force, which looked into the paranormal and the extraterrestrial, though it became increasingly strained as several of it's agents, including Phillip Jeffries and Chester Desmond, seemingly vanished. Cooper and Earle's relationship would become strained when he fell in love with Windom's wife, Caroline, and the two engaged in a brief affair that ended when Windom discovered it, murdered Caroline and wounded Cooper, and was sent to a mental institution. Deeply shaken by the experience, Cooper vowed to never love again.
Later into his career, Cooper was dispatched to the town of Twin Peaks to investigate the murder of Laura Palmer, a popular, well-liked high schooler, and befriended the people of the Twin Peaks, becoming an honorary member of the Sheriff's Department and nearly engaging in an affair with heiress Audrey Horne, though his own trauma and sense of duty prevents him from acting on his feelings. During his investigations, Cooper is visited by a series of strange, otherworldly figures, who give him cryptic clues and hint towards a supernatural element to the Palmer case. Though he's distracted by uncovering a massive drug/prostitution ring that Laura was involved in and an attempt on his life, Cooper is able to deduce that Leland Palmer, Laura's own father, is her killer, having been possessed by the demon BOB and forced to act on his dark, repressed urges towards her. The demon's influence drives Leland to suicide, but Cooper is able to use Buddhist teachings to help him find some level of peace before dying.
With the initial case solved, Cooper attempts to leave Twin Peaks, but an active investigation into his methods impedes his exit leaves him working to solve several local cases, alongside learning about the Black Lodge and White Lodge and the various spirits within them. Things become more serious when Earle escapes from the mental hospital and declares war on Cooper, travelling to Twin Peaks and embarking on a killing spree, culminating in him kidnapping Annie Blackburn, Cooper's new girlfriend, and brings her to the Black Lodge. Following them, Cooper witnesses BOB killing Earle for meddling with forces beyond his control, then creates a doppelgänger of him that leaves the Lodge while forcing Cooper to stay behind. Trapped in the Black Lodge, Cooper can only watch as the Doppelgänger and BOB inhabit his body and sets out on a new reign of terror.
Trapped for 25 years, Cooper is finally able to escape the Black Lodge with the help of it's more benevolent entities, but a trick by the Doppelgänger and BOB forces him into the body of Dougie Jones, a bumbling salesman involved in a criminal conspiracy, with the experience leaving him borderline catatonic. Despite this, his own luck and the interference of the Lodge enables him to survive, paying off Dougie's debts, exposing the conspiracy, repairing his marriage, and earning the loyalty of the Mitchum Brothers, two affable mobsters who vow to help him by any means possible. Cooper is eventually able to remember his purpose, completing the transfer of his mind, and returns to Twin Peaks, where he witnesses the Doppelgänger's death in a shootout with the Sheriff's Department and helps Freddie Skyes destroy BOB once and for all.
Not content to rest until justice is done, Cooper meets with Jeffries, now distorted into a mechanical abomination, who sends him back in time to prevent Laura Palmer's murder, and finds himself in a new timeline, where he meets a woman resembling an older Laura but claims to have no idea that is, though taking her to the Palmer family home seemingly returns her memories to her, leaving the ultimate truth ambigious.
Light Yagami[]
| “ | I am justice! I protect the innocent and those who fear evil. I'm the one that will become god of a new world that everyone desires!
— Light Yagami
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” |
Light Yagami was a genius teenager searching for a greater purpose to his boring life when he stumbled upon the Death Note, a book that kills anyone whose name is written into it. Initially frightened of it's power, Light eventually embraces it, using it to wage a war on crime across the world as the vigilante "Kira". "Kira" becomes a worldwide sensation, and a task force, headed by Light's father, is eventually brought together in Japan and joined by L, an eccentric genius detective. Light and L form a strange friendship, with Light trying to learn L's real name and kill him while L tries to find concrete element that Light is Kira. After Misa, Light's girlfriend and a Kira fanatic with a Death Note of her own, nearly gets them both caught, Light hatches an elaborate scheme where he wipes his own memory and gives up the Note, reverting to his old personality of a well-intentioned, friendly teenager.
With no memories of his old self or the Note, Light helps the investigation team catch a new Kira using the Note for his own ends, bringing suspicion off of himself until he re-acquires the Death Note, restoring his true self, and forces Misa's Shinigami, Rem, to kill L. With his only true foe gone, Light takes command of the investigation team and continues his killings, becoming a godlike figure within four years. Light's new spree is opposed by Near and Mello, two successors to L, the former of whom leads an American task force to investigate the Kira murders while the latter allies himself with organized crime. Mello dies at the hands of Light's ex-girlfriend turned Kira spokeswoman, but a slip-up by Light's most devout follower, Teru, leads Near's team right to him, and he is mortally wounded after being shot by a member of the Japanese team. Light manages to flee, but is ultimately killed by Ryuk, the Shinigami who gave him the Death Note, after he recognizes that the game is over for Light and writes his name in the Note.
Weapons, Equipment, and Abilities[]
Dale Cooper[]
| “ | This is a damn fine cup of coffee.
— Dale Cooper
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” |
Weapons:
- Glock 17: Cooper's primary sidearm as an FBI agent, the Glock 17 is a semi-automatic pistol with a range of around 50 meters, a 15-round magazine, and a muzzle velocity of 375 meters per second.
Abilities:
- Ace Detective: Cooper is one of the Bureau's finest investigators, owing primarily to both his attentive eye to detail and his willingness to entertain the absurd, including using mysticism and his own dreams to guide his actions. Using nothing but the local law enforcement's resources and the scant hints provided to him, he was able to crack the Laura Palmer case and trap Leland. Even when borderline brain-dead as Dougie Jones, Cooper could ID one of Jones's fellow agents as a liar, unraveling an elaborate corporate conspiracy while unable to do more than stammer a few choice words. Cooper's eccentric behavior often works to his benefit as an investigator, as it lures suspects into a false sense of security and enables him to pick up on smaller details that may slip the eye of more serious-minded people.
- Skilled Tactician/Planner: Cooper is also a talented organizer and leader, regularly taking point and leading several busts and stings over the course of his stay in Twin Peaks. During his time there, he successfully infiltrated the One Eyed Jack brothel/casino not once, but twice, luring one of it's patrons into a trap on his first stay, then rescuing Audrey Horne with the assistance of Sheriff Harry Truman and Deputy Hawk, alongside tricking Leland Palmer into thinking he'd gotten away with his killings and outwitting and killing Jean Renault, a renowned hitman. While trapped in the Black Lodge, Cooper was able to hatch a, ultimately successful, if hampered by complications, plan to defeat the Doppleganger and BOB and save Laura Palmer. Despite his wit, Cooper does have a weakness in the form of his nobility: if innocents are in danger, he will risk it all to save them, regardless of the consequences.
- Mystic Studies: Cooper has a noted fascination with mysticism and spiritualism, and he regularly devotes his time to learning more about the teachings of Zen Buddhism, using it's ideals to guide his general personality and his investigative skill, specifically the so-called "Tibetan Method", which uses the apparent connection of mind-body coordination operating hand in hand with the deepest level of intuition. To use an example he throws rocks at bottles after reading the names of suspects, noting which names lead to rocks hitting bottles.
- Expert Marksman: Cooper is a natural talent with a gun, putting four rounds through the eyes and two through the nostrils of a target as regular practice, and he's capable of quick-drawing on skilled shooters such as Jean Renault.
- Skilled Hand-to-Hand Fighter: Despite his thin frame and unassuming demeanor, Cooper is a talented fighter, to the point where he was able to catch and disarm a women trying to stab him without even looking at her. Even an older, out of practice Cooper was able to disarm a man pointing a gun at him from a sitting position, then bring him to the ground with a well-placed kick to the groin.
- Natural Luck: Cooper has an almost sense of supernatural luck, always finding himself at the right place at the right time and things just working out in his favor, like his natural talent as a gambler and the universe actively protecting him during his time as Dougie Jones, regularly foiling attempts on his life with him none the wiser.
- Red Room Assistance: An apparent chosen one, or at least a vital pawn in a greater cosmic scheme, Cooper is aided in his investigations by the inhabitants of the Black Lodge, supernatural beings that speak and act in strange, cryptic ways. Despite their apparent power, their actual assistance is limited, appearing to Cooper in visions and dreams and, during his time as Dougie Jones, guiding him to where he needs to go or showing what he needs to do. While there are countless beings in the Lodge, only three actively helped Cooper in his fight. They are:
| “ | Agent Cooper. Listen to the sounds.
— The Fireman
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” |
Also known as "the Giant" and "??????", the Fireman is the most apparently benevolent of the Lodge's various entities, creating the essence of Laura Palmer as a counter to the ultimate evil of BOB following the latter's "birth". In more modern times, the Fireman appeared to Cooper, giving him three hints of the future before taking his ring and informing him that it would be returned upon his predictions coming to pass. He would later appear to warn Cooper of the murder of Maddie Ferguson, but his hints do nothing beyond instill a sense of dread in him. When Cooper correctly deduces Leland Palmer as the killer, the Fireman returns his ring, later appearing one last time when Cooper is trapped in the Lodge.
Following Cooper's release, the Fireman appears to Freddie Sykes, advising him to buy the glove he'll use to destroy BOB, and Deputy Andy Brennan, who he warns not to trust the Cooper Doppleganger, then finally teleports the Doppleganger to the Sheriff's Station, directly leading to his death at the hands of Andy's wife Lucy.
Despite his status as one of the most powerful beings in the Lodge, the Fireman is seemingly trapped by goals and reasons entirely beyond human understanding, meaning he's unable to provide more than vague assistance and leave the actual work to others.
| “ | Do you know who I am? I am the Arm. And I sound like this...
— The Arm
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” |
A being who takes the form of a dwarf in a red suit, the Arm was born when MIKE severed his arm, with the sheer power and evil contained within it giving it human form. The Arm appears to Cooper in dreams, using imagery and strange riddles to provide him with clues, such as mentioning bird songs in reference to the bird in the cabin where Laura died, or talking about how Cooper's "favorite gum" would come back in style in reference to the favorite brand of chewing gum of Leland Palmer.
By the modern day, the Arm has evolved into a stationary, talking tree, which is somehow even more confusing in it's aid, simply explaining to Cooper that the Doppleganger must return to the Lodge if he is to be free before sending him away.
While the Arm never directly opposes Cooper, he's also the most morally ambiguous of the three beings, with the heavy implication that his intervention is due to a personal vendetta against BOB rather than any greater good.
| “ | I too have been touched by the devilish one. Tattoo on the left shoulder... Oh, but when I saw the face of God... I was changed. I took the entire arm off.
— MIKE
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” |
MIKE was once BOB's ally and accomplice, happily participating in his crimes until he was struck with a crisis of conscience and subsequently turned to the side of good, severing his arm and devoting himself to stopping BOB. Until the arrival of Cooper, he was the most active foe to BOB, trying (and failing) to rescue Laura Palmer, but managing to prevent her from being possessed by him by giving her the Owl Cave ring. Interestingly, he's the only Black Lodge being to take a proper form in the real world, masquerading as shoe salesman Philip Gerard, who actively feared MIKE and took drugs to keep him away, though Cooper forced him to go clean of the drugs long enough for MIKE to appear and confirm that he was on the right track.
By the modern day, MIKE abandoned the Gerard persona but kept his form, staying entirely in the Lodge and becoming Cooper's clearest ally, recognizing the deception behind Dougie Jones and protecting Cooper from harm, doing things such as planting a dream in one of the Mitchum Brothers heads to convince him to befriend Dougie, while he recovered, then leading him to Phillip Jeffries so he could save Laura Palmer. He also lends the only form of true physical assistance, leading Cooper around the Red Room and creating a new Dougie Jones to ensure that he could return to his family.
Alongside visions and the ability to project himself to others, MIKE also had a vague danger sense, enabling him to warn Cooper when evil presences, such as BOB, were near, which helped Cooper realize that Benjamin Horne was not the killer of Laura Palmer when MIKE failed to sense anything near him.Light Yagami[]
| “ | I'll take a potato chip...AND EAT IT.
— Light Yagami
|
” |
Equipment:
- The Death Note: Light's signature tool, the Death Note was thrown to Earth by a bored Ryuk, hoping to see what chaos would ensue from a human finding it. The wielder of the book can kill any person, anywhere on Earth, simply by writing their name in it's pages. The Note cannot be destroyed, nor can it run out of pages. Despite it's immense power, there are clear rules to the Note that must be followed, or else it will not work. These rules include:
- The human whose name is written in this note shall die. This note will not take effect unless the writer has the subject's face in mind when writing his/her name. This is to prevent people who share the same name from being affected.
- The Death Note will not ever affect a person whose name has been misspelled four times. If a Death Note owner accidentally misspells a person's name four times, that person will be free from being killed by the Death Note. However, if the Death Note owner intentionally misspells the name four times, the owner will die.
- If the cause of death is written within 40 seconds of the subject's name, it will happen. If the cause of death isn't specified, the victim dies of a heart attack in 40 seconds. However, the rule can be delayed for twenty-three days, meaning you can write down "dies by heart attack in [xx] days."
- The conditions of death will not be realized unless they are physically possible for that human or could be reasonably assumed to be carried out by that human. Although it is possible to control a person's actions, if an impossible situation is written down the person will simply die of a heart attack.
- After an individual's name, time of death, and conditions of death are entered in the notebook, the time and conditions of death may be altered as many times as desired as long as they are changed within six minutes and 40 seconds from the time they are filled in. But, of course, this is only possible before the victim dies.
Skills and Abilities:
- Brilliant Tactician/Strategist: Light is a certified genius, staying one step ahead of everyone else and outwitting and killing two of the world's greatest detectives, L and Mello. This is due largely to both his absolute ruthlessness, willing to let anyone, including friends, family and lovers, die to further his goals and his obsessive nature, meaning he's often ready for any eventuality. On top of defeating L and Mello, Light was able to outwit numerous investigative teams and agencies, hatching elaborate schemes built around the personalities and decisions of others, even going as far as to wipe his own mind and trust for everything to occur exactly according to plan.
- Skilled Investigator: Light is a determined, thorough detective, regularly researching each and every one of his victims and using every resource at his disposal to wage his war on crime.
- Talented Manipulator: Giving off the energy of an intelligent, if mild-mannered, high schooler, Light regularly tricks and deceives others into his schemes. He ultimately used Rem's love for Misa to kill L, and tricked both Naomi Misora and Raye Penber into giving up their names by making them believe he was just a friendly teenager, and was able to come off as just another member of the investigation team for five years, under the nose of several extremely talented detectives.
- Peak Physicality: Light is an athletic, strong man, capable of sending L flying with one punch and withstanding a kick to the head. He's shown to be a talented athlete as well, beating L, the English junior tennis champion in a "friendly" game. Light's physicality is so impressive, he was able to survive being shot several times and escape, with the implication he ultimately would've recovered from the shooting had it not been for Ryuk.
- Ryuk: As he is the true owner of the Death Note, the shinigami Ryuk accompanies Light everywhere he goes. Motivated entirely by boredom, Ryuk assists Light in his mission, often informing him of things such as cameras or people following him and even going as far as to write fake rules in the Note to trick Light's enemies. As he is an otherworldly being, Ryuk can't be seen by anyone except Death Note holders and is completely invulnerable to any form of attack. Despite his apparent fondness for Light, Ryuk ultimately sees him as nothing more than a fun distraction, and kills him with zero hesitation when it's clear he has no plan of escape.
X-Factors[]
| Dale Cooper | X-Factors | Light Yagami |
| 90 | Experience | 70 |
| 85 | Training | 30 |
| 90 | Intelligence | 95 |
| 75 | Mental Health | 60 |
| 65 | Brutality | 100 |
Explanations[]
- Cooper benefits due to both his age and his role as a field agent of the FBI. While Light has tangled with dangerous, intelligent foes before, it was often more along the level of mind games, very rarely actually stepping into the field and directly confronting anyone. Cooper has a solid decade of experience as an agent, investigating murders, kidnappings, and robberies well before he even took the Palmer case, which brought him up against hitmen, criminals, and foes on a cosmic scale unlike anything he'd ever seen before, with him ultimately prevailing, even if his overall win was seemingly pyrrhic. While the likes of L are nothing to sneeze at, Cooper has dealt with greater foes in terms of both quantity and quality.
- Cooper has years of not just his agent training, but intricate study in things like mysticism and strategy, while Light was ultimately a gifted student who became involved with the case due to his connections.
- Both warriors are incredibly smart, clever, and attentive thinkers and strategists, but Light takes an edge due to his preferences for long-term schemes and manipulation. Cooper is a brilliant agent, but he's also shown to be gullible and at times short-sighted, running into a scenario at great risk to himself just to help others, regardless of whether that is the correct choice. Light takes care to ensure he is always in control of the situation, with his only weakness being his tremendous arrogance, which causes him to underestimate the intelligence of his opponents.
- Light takes special care to give off the appearance of a well-adjusted young man, but underneath the facade is a deeply unstable sociopath with a god complex. He's cruel, vain, and incredibly sadistic, and when finally cornered, he collapses into a full-on psychotic breakdown, destroying any chance he has of escaping the situation. By comparison, Cooper is, considering he's spent 25 years trapped in an eldritch dimension, remarkably well-adjusted, though he's sometimes short-tempered and more willing to take risks.
- Cooper is a fundamentally good person, and while he recognizes the inevitability of death and is willing to take a life when it comes down to it, he's often willing to avoid bloodshed and tries to ensure peaceful solutions. Light has no such hang-ups, and will kill anyone that stands in the way of his goals in often incredibly brutal fashions.
Scenario[]
Following the death of L and countless other agents, the FBI calls for the intervention of the Blue Rose task force into the Kira investigations, leading Gordon Cole to send Cooper, having returned to the FBI after his encounter with the alternate Laura, to Japan. Operating under an alias and masquerading as a private detective, Cooper joins the Investigation Team, leading him down a dangerous game with Light.
- Dale Cooper:
- Prove Light Yagami is Kira and arrest him.
- Light Yagami:
- Determine the true identity of Dale Cooper and kill him.
- Fail to capture the true Kira.
- Die
- Fail to stop Cooper's investigation.
- Die.
Notes[]
- Voting ends December 12th.
- The match, obviously, will be set in Japan, during the five year time skip of Death Note and after the events of Twin Peaks: The Return.
- While Cooper himself won't be able to see Ryuk, the Lodge inhabitants will be able to, meaning they could warn Cooper accordingly if they feel the need to.