Initially I was planning to do a mobs of Gotham vs. mobs of Black Lagoon, however, not only has two of the factions been pitted against each other in a previous battle, but also I realized that there simply weren't enough notable Black Lagoon mobsters to fit in all the categories. In this way, I decide to reduce both sides to only one faction, which will make it simple for me to write the fight, as well as make it easier for you to vote, lol.
Oswald Cobblepot, the fine-feathered king of Gotham's criminal underworld that even Batman (comics) and Joker (DC Comics) couldn't challenge his throne .Balalaika, the Soviet rage of Roanapur that even Revy and Mister Chang dare not to piss. In this battle between two deadly hotel runners, who is the deadliest ?
The Penguin (New 52)[]
| “ | What impresses me most about me is that, given evetrything I went through, everything I overcame... I didn't just get back up. I didn't merely find my feet...I found something else, something I was great at.
— Oswald on murder
|
” |
Oswald.C.Cobblepot, aka the Penguin, was one of the oldest and the most iconic enemy of Batman. Though born as a tender, weak and mild-mannered kid, His harsh childhood filled with domestic violence, mockery, and bully from classmates due to his ugly appearance caused him to slowly lose faith in mankind. One day, when his brothers destroyed his beloved bird house, murdering all the pigeons inside and tearing his handmade penguin robots into shreds, the Penguin decided to no longer bear their mistreatments. After making out complicated plans, the Penguin murdered all of his brothers and school bullies, making those deaths look like accidents. These murders led him to dig deeper and deeper into the criminal world, and eventually he climbed up to the top of Gotham's mafia food chain and became the most feared mobster in the city, with his mob remaining as the most stable and powerful criminal organization in Gotham City, unchallenged by both the authority and the other crime bosses such as Black Mask and Two-Face.
Penguin's criminal empire is so successful that all the other criminals, including the Joker (DC Comics), Riddler and pretty much every Batman villain turn to him to seek for shelter or resource.Even Batman himself sometimes tolerates him and allow the Penguin to run illegal business inside the Iceberg Casino ( Penguin's main base）in exchange for information/intelligence from Gotham underground.
However, unlike most of Batman's foes, the Penguin is 100% sane in spite of having an obligation to carry an umbrella wherever he goes and maintaining an obsession with ornithological features, which don't bother his everyday life and can't be regarded as mental illness.
- Being obsessed with umbrellas, Oswald arms himself and high-ranking members of his gang with various weaponized umbrellas.The functions of these umbrellas are diverse, ranging from swords and knife-shooters to shotguns, knock-out gas sprayers and flamethrowers. One feature applied to all umbrellas is that the umbrellas are made of special material that can act as shields.Although there's no specific data regarding the intensity of the shields, they have been shown to be strong enough to protect their users from shotgun blasts, assault rifles sprays, flames and even grenades. For the purpose of this battle Penguin will initially be armed with an Umbrella shotgun ( The blasts of this shotgun is powerful enough to to send Emperor Penguin, who is a metahuman, into a coma.) and an umbrella dagger launcher ( A spring dagger installed on the sharp end of his umbrella, which can be used either as a rifle bayonet or a throwing knife ).
- Joker Venom Knock-off: It was revealed in Death of the Family, as well as the Emperor Penguin Storyline, Penguin used to provide Joker with the ingredients that make up Joker's gas, and Penguin's organization is capable of producing gas of similar functions (Once inhaled will force people into uncontrollable laughter and dismember their faces into a large grin, before killing them. Wearing gas masks can prevent the infection.) but slightly different components.(And before you might ask, of course, Penguin's crew that are in charge of the gas will have access to gas masks.
- Highly-trained Penguins:Loads of highly-trained penguins, carrying cameras and various sensors, are normally distributed to areas around the Iceberg Lounge and can be deployed to other parts of Gotham,monitoring his turf in case of invasion and spying on other factions/individuals that Penguin deems as threats.Some of these penguins carry dynamites/grenades/remote-control bombs, acting like suicide bombers of some sort.
- Note: New 52 Penguin actually has access to a load of ridiculous things used by other Batman villains, however for the purpose of this battle stuff that are too hax are automatically removed, such as Man-Bat serum, mind-control gadgets, the magical clay that gave birth to new 52 Clayface, etc.
Balalaika[]
| “ | The justice you refer to smells pretty rotten to me. The stench of bloodbath, wouldn't you agree ?
— Balalaika to Rock
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” |
Balalaika (バラライカ, Bararaika) is the boss of Hotel Moscow. Her real name is Sofiya Pavlovna, but that name is not used in her presence. She was brought up by her grandfather, the high-ranking military head of the USSR. Balalaika's father has presumably either been condemned by the USSR or fled the country.
Before joining the mafia, Balalaika was a captain in the Soviet Army, Vozdushno-Desantnye Vojska'(translate from Russian: air assault troops) paratrooper and a veteran of the Soviet war in Afghanistan. A fine marksman and sniper, she received the nickname "Balalaika" (one of the Soviet army's slang terms for the Dragunov sniper-rifle).
Balalaika can be easily identified by the burn marks which scar most of the right side of her face, neck, breasts and leg which she sustained in Afghanistan, earning her the nickname "Fry-Face". She is usually shown smoking a cigar, in contrast with the other characters who smoke cigarettes. In view of her participation in the Soviet war in Afghanistan and the missed possibility to take part in the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, it is possible to define her age between 35 and 40 years old.
In April of 1986, while on an international illegal operation outside of Soviet territory, Balalaika and her unit saved a child who was in a refugee camp. The media recorded the event that led to the “Voluntary Discharge” of Balalaika and her unit; promptly deserting the Soviets forces.
Balalaika arrived in Roanupur in 1993, which lead to a large-scale conflict with the already-established Triads under Chang's leadership. Rather than destroy the city, a peace was brokered between the rival criminal organizations by Dutch.
Later, Balalaika settled her empire in the town, choosing Hotel Moscow as its headquarter, and continued to reign over the crime industry of the town. Her mafia and Chang's triad have always been regarded as two of the strongest criminal organizations in the town ever since.
- Balalaika is usually seen armed with a Stetchkin APS. For the purpose of this battle she will also be armed with her Dragunov sniper rifle, which she was seen using in flashbacks.
- Everything you'd expect from a battalion of USSR soldiers : As mentioned in her bio Balalaika and her crew are ex-Soviet troops, therefore they are armed with weapons of Soviet/Russian origin throughout the entire series, ranging from 100% Soviet stuff like AK-47, AK-74,AK-74U,VSS Vintorez, Dragunov, TT-33,Stechkin APS,to less Soviet but still AK family stuff like Norinco Type 56 and Norinco Type 63.Sometimes they are also seen armed with nine-Soviet weapons such as M8 smoke grenades, SIG-Sauer P226, and Ingram MAC-10 SMGs.
X-factors （Penguin - Balalaika）[]
- Experience: 90 - 80. While Balalaika had served in USSR army for a long time, even taking part in the Soviet-Afghanistan War, as well as leading her troops against Mister Chang (which she lost) and the Japanese Yakuza (which she won), Penguin had been fighting in gang wars since his teenage years,the set of people Penguin had faced and succeeded in outsmarting/defeating for several times(Batman (comics),Joker (DC Comics),Two-Face,Black Mask,etc) really makes the nasty folks of Roanapur that Balalaika had faced seem rather tame and conventional.
- Intelligence and tactical thinking:95-85.Balalaika is certainly cunning, being able to survive and thrive in a place like Roanapur and wipe out the entire Yakuza in their home turf (Yakuza in Japan put the Russian mafia their out of business so Balalaika led her troops to Japan and wiped out the entire Yakuza through using tactics and tricks that send the Yakuza factions into suspecting and battling each other, eventually weakening the Yakuza, making it easy for her troops to wipe them out one by one).However, Penguin's tactical abilities and intelligence are on a whole new level, being able to force folks like Black Mask and Great White Shark to work for him (In the New 52 Penguin manages to put the two mobs out of business and force the two leaders to work for him, forming a team called "Black and White")，constantly outsmarting Batman and other Batman villains to secure his place as the king of Gotham underground, and even came close to scamming Lex Luthor (During new 52 Catwoman series Penguin came close to getting a hold of files regarding Luthor's dark history and almost succeeded in scamming him) .
- Troops Loyalty:86-100.Most of Penguin's men are incredibly loyal to Penguin , partly out of respect, partly due to the fact that Penguin treats his men pretty well, granting them with high salary and even health insurance. However, Balalaika's men are dead loyal to her because they were troops under her command back in days in USSR. It's safe to say every member of Balalaika's troop is willing do die for her cause.
- Troops Quality:70-95.Penguin's troops are harsh criminals from Blackgate Prison, Arkham Asylum and around the world. There are deadly martial artists and ex-commandos scattered around here and there, while there are also many low-level street thugs. However, Balalaika's troops are all ex-Red Army soldiers or commandos.
- Logistics:90-80. Dubbed as the most resourceful crook in Gotham by many, there are many solid reasons supporting Penguin to triumph over Balalaika in this category. Throughout the New 52 we've seen Penguin digging out his firearms and gadgets from literally every corner of Gotham, and there's even a giant storage of firearms and weaponized umbrellas in the penguin section of Gotham Zoo. Apart from this, his connection with government (most noticeably Amanda Waller), his collaboration with other mobs (Black Mask and Two-face), as well as with other villains (Joker and Riddler, etc), grant him with exclusive access to even more firearms storages and lethal gadgets. On the other hand, Balalaika , being the head of a rather minor branch of a Russian Mafia with branches around the globe, needs to rely on Russian mafia HQ when it comes to firearms and supplies, and she and her troops only have access to the weapons and tools delivered to them from HQ.
Battle[]
Iceberg Lounge, Gotham City
Sitting on the chair, with his hands tied to its back, is Drury Walker, a small-time Gotham crook that has always been dreaming about joining the big league. To achieve such goal, he has been committing small heists and hit-and-runs under the alias of Killer Moth, hoping that one day he'll gain the attention of the big names and get a chance to work under their wings. Now, his dream has come true, but in the worst way possible.
"So what you little pathetic Lepidoptera is trying to say is, that you have sold the map of MY TURF to the Russians ?"
Drury trembles as the obese man in front of him throws out yet another question that he dares not to answer. "M, m, Mr. Cobblepot, let me explain it you, you, you see, he......he...I.,...I was a little bit drunk at that time when he, he called on me and offered me that case of money. You, you know, when, when people are drunk, they, they can't think properly, they make stupid mistakes. I thought that man works for you so I...."
"Why on earth would I order someone working for me to purchase a map of my own turf ?" Shouts the Penguin.
"I, I'm not sure Mr.Cobblepot, guess I was just too stupid...." Before Moth could finish his words, the mob boss, obviously fed up with Drury's stutters, raises his umbrella and pulls the trigger, blowing up the poor man's head for his own good.
"Now clean up this sack of shite, will you ?" Orders the Penguin, as he marches out of the torture room, with his bodyguards following him. "How did the map make it to his hands ?" Asks Lark, the bird's right-hand woman. "Not sure, note it down for me, will ya ? Now that the Russians have already got it, dealing with them is my priority. Get Sionis on the line, war is around the corner."
However. before Lark can reach the telephone, loud siren signaling an upcoming invasion starts ringing fiercely, drawing the attention of Cobblepot and every henchman in the room to the big screen on which security cameras carried by the trained penguin are sending back footages showing several groups of heavily-armed men approaching the casino from various directions.
"Cacophony in Cobblepot's property." Says the Penguin, as he orders his subordinates to notify his crew stationed at various spots around his turf to ambush.
Utilizing their factor of surprise, Iceberg Lounge's staff are able to take down several of the Hotel Moscow soldiers, before they shudder to realize that this group of new assailants in front of them are far from anything they've ever experienced.Not only do they fire with higher accuracy than your typical Gotham city thugs working under the deranged minds like Dent or Joker, but also they kill with a higher efficiency than those tortuous cultists under Sionis's wing. Not to mention the rage burning in their eyes as they slowly push back the Iceberg Lounge crew's assault. The rage that were born in the barren land of Siberia, born from a fallen superpower which has also once been the cradle of several other deadly players of Gotham city.
It doesn't take long for Balalaika's men to suppress their foes.The motley crew of muggers and junkies hired to safeguard the border of Cobblepot's turf stand virtually no chance against this company of former Red Army warheads, as they scurry off their posts, leaving piles of bodies behind and literally running for their lives.
Watching all these unfold on the big screen in his office, the Penguin sighs. Never has he placed any form of high expectation on those hired guns, but he doesn't expect their failure to be so immediate and disastrous like this. For a moment the idea of contacting the Bat springs up in his brain, however, the dark secret hidden in his storage soon prevents him from putting this insane plan into action. "Lark, gather your squad and set the helicopters ready. Ogilvy, head to the lab and bring out my own version of the clown's favorite toy." After giving order to two of his most trusted goons, Penguin waddles down the stairs and goes straight to his secret lair. The feeling that this war will end up forcing himself into action is getting stronger, and what would be the point for the Penguin to engage in a direct brawl were he not to be packed with his umbrellas.
Arming himself with two extra umbrellas, the Penguin leaves the room after taking a final glance at the security case in which the damned book has been resting peacefully. "When this trouble is settled, Nygma ought to be summoned here to help me solve the mystery lurking behind its sentences. Asset worthy of exploiting lies behind them, or else that pathetic husk of a wizard wouldn't have been so obsessed with it."
"Based on our source, the room on the east side of the ground floor is the bird man's preferred hideout." The soft voice of his boss comes through the military radio, as Boris and his men march through Cobblepot's dump yard, leaving a trial of dead bodies behind.
So far they haven't encountered any notable obstacles, with every patch of their enemies being low-level thugs and junkies barely capable of aiming properly. Some of them have already grown bored, underwhelmed by the low quality troop the kingpin of Gotham City possessed.However, Boris has not yet let off his guard. In the past few years,criminals of Gotham origin that happened to pass by Roanapur has provided him a few hints on the nature of this charming but deadly city of loons, and many of those criminals have told him that nothing in Gotham is a hundred percent sane, behind every seemingly normal site, a twisted phantom might be lurking.
Several minutes later they arrive at the east wing of the Casino, in front of which a small square reserved for future parking lots lies. With no one in sight, Boris ordered his men to forward. However, as they approach the entrance, the door opens by itself. A waddling thing with the size of a child shakily walks out of the door, instantly drawing the attention of everyone. Despite the sudden nature of this incident, the Hotel Moscow crew remain cool. Their conflict with the Romanian twins has taught them two simple facts : Never underestimate your opponent because of his/her age, and if there is one child, a possibility of a second one hiding in the environment, readying to ambush you is always high.
An even more shocking scene hits the Russian gangsters, as neon light unveils the shaking figure. What has been getting onto their nerves isn't even a human ! It is a frigging penguin !
"What's the hell ? Is that old fatso into bird sex or something like that ?" Izhakoff shouts in surprise, stirring up a little bit of uneasy laughter among the nervous crew.
"What can a f**king bird do ?" Mutters Alyokhin, as he draws out his Stechkin and opens fire. Hit by the bullet, the bird squeezes out a painful "wah" before collapsing on the ground, revealing a small package attached to its back.
"What's inside this bag ?" Asks Alyokhin as he goes up to inspect the bird, followed by Izhakoff and another soldier. It is already too late when Boris realizes the danger behind it and makes a vain attempt to call them back, as the familiar beeping sound of a time bomb counting down starts up.
Instantly ducking behind whatever they are able to find,Boris and the last two of his company avoid the blast. However, the poor souls that clustered around the dead bird are all gone, leaving three torn-up carcasses scattered around the entrance.
Almost instantly, more penguins come darting out of the door. This time, Boris and his men spare no hesitation pummeling them down with their AK-47s. With all the birds taken down and explosion over, the three men continue their expedition. Little do they know that the explosive penguins are only a small fraction of the horror this city has to offer.
As they travel through the dark hallway, making their way to the targeted room, they are met with no oppositions. "This doesn't feel right,"Says Putin, the youngest of the trio,"It is too quiet, almost eerie."
"Keep your nerves on, enemies might come at us from any directions." Responds Boris, as he points his rifle to the right side, while the other Russian soldier makes sure no one can flank them from the left.Almost a minute has passed when they reach a small intersection. It is at this moment that the other Russian soldier suddenly begins to chuckle wildly.
"What's so funny ?" Asks Putin, as he pats his partner on the shoulder. The man turns to Putin, revealing a pair of bleary eyes and a wide grin. "What's so funny ?Heh, heh, heh,EEE HEE HEE HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA,HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA ? Funny ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA ? How to you say it ? Say that again ? Everything is funny, a big, big joke ! What is a tybalt ? What is a joke ? Dancing penguins and flying question marks...GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !" Putin backs off, as he watches the man tumbles backwards, losing his grip of sanity. Before Putin can figure out, Boris violently pulls him back, placing a gas mask in his arms.
As Putin swiftly puts on his mask, he catches notice of the gas can that has been sneakily emitting Cobblepot's downgraded version of the boldest creation of Gotham's best criminal mastermind hanging on the wall on the left. Their partner, who hasn't been sharp enough to notice the can, now succumbs to the dastard effect of the infamous laughing gas and slams dead on the floor.
Meanwhile, at various spots across the Lounge, most of the Hotel Moscow crew that have made their way into the casino are submerged in the dark seas insanity. Having inhaled the gas that either comes from the hanging cans or pops out of the ventilation system, they laugh and prance in the surreal joy of psychopathy. shooting each other with their assault rifles as their psyches deform and break down. Soon the laughter dies down, leaving piles of Glasgow smile-engraved dead bodies around the building.
However, as one might expect, some of the smarter ones, like Boris, are able to put on gas masks in time and continue their blind crusade.
Word by word hearing her soldiers' descend into madness, the term "painful and pissed" is concise to describe Balalaika's mood.
The rumors surrounding this village of mad is true, she supposes, as she watches the Iceberg Lounge through her telescope. It's high time she went into action.
Oswald Cobblepot is on his way to the helipad when he bumps into the duo of Boris and Putin.
"Surprise, isn't it ?" Utters Penguin, as he flexibly dodges back and opens his umbrella just in time to block several incoming bullets from the duo's AK-47s. Out of instinct the birdman retaliates by pulling the trigger on the umbrella's handle.
Barely avoiding the dum-dum launched from the umbrella's head, hardly has Boris regains his posture when a second one is fired, turning Putin into a human do-nut.
Aiming for Boris, Penguin once again readies his favorite toy to fire, only to find that it has already run out of ammo. "Shouldn't have wasted a round on that costume freak." Sighs the Penguin, as Boris takes the chance charging forward, delivering a kick to the fat man's jaws.
"Waaaaaaaah !" Groaning in pain, the mobster staggers back, instinctively covering his unusual nose with his hands as he tosses the umbrella aside and pulls out another one from his tuxedo. With no time to check the umbrella's function or to take a proper aim, he hastily pulls the trigger.
Flames on.
Excruciating pain soon overwhelms Boris, as he watches the flame tearing through his supposedly fire-proof and bullet-proof vest in sheer terror. It doesn't take long for the flames to engulf the Russian man completely, literally roasting him alive. "Let lecture you a little bit more about the essence of my weapon. It is a beautiful artifact designed to burn through the Bat's suit. A masterpiece resulted from the combined efforts of my top scientists and old friend Garfield Lynns."
"You'll never triumph. Us, the Hotel Moscow, has exterminated countless self-acclaimed criminal genius like you. Wait and see, you and your casino shall burn in hell."
"Oh really ? So, let me impart a simple truth for you to digest the rather imposing nature of Iceberg Lounge. No matter how many killers and tough guys you've brought with you. me, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot, has lived through worse.I have survived the conflicts between the clown and the Riddler, I have torn the Roman's organization to pieces and feed Falcone to Pygs, I have put Dent, Sionis and that piscatorial banker out of business, I have ruled this town of madness as their mayor, I have thrived when there's nothing to thrive, and thus I see impossibility for you and the people behind you to overthrow my regime." Shouts Cobblepot,as he watches the man on the floor painfully deforms into ashes.
"Enough is enough." Not even taking a single glance back, he heads straight to the helicopter.
"Boss, are you coming ? Lark has already taken off." Asks Ogilvy. Just as the bird man is about to board the assault helicopter, he pauses.
"No, not this one. I'd like something different."
Seeing his boss off, Ignatius Ogilvy paces back inside. A random glimpse at Boris roasted corpse, the man turns right. "The Penguin has always been hiding something inside that secret chamber. Something he never allows others to see. Something mysterious and something he implied to be a book of some sort........With him in the sky, wouldn't it be a perfect chance for me to page it ?"
However, his secret agenda is quickly ruined, as Balalaika's RPG rounds burst into the right wing of the corridor, blowing up the section where he is standing, sending the body parts of Cobblepot's right-hand man flying around.
"Damn, it missed the targeted room by almost an inch." The RPG soldier complains, as Balalaika calms him down.
"I , the Sultan of Mayonnaise, the God of Hollandaise, and the Emperor of Mustard, the Condiment King ! Will be the star of tonight's grand heist of Iceberg Lounge !"
"Keep quiet or you'll attract the guys on the jeep over there. Wait for my SIGNALS, then we shall make our move. And don't forget, our buddy Moth is being kept in the east wing."
"Philip wait, I'm clueless right now, I don't really think those men are from Penguin's gang...."
"OI ! You insolent mortals, I am the unbeatable Zeus, your guns don't intimidate me at all !"
"SHUT THE F**K UP MAXIE YOU F**KING MORON YOU'RE !"
The four idiotic villains should feel honorable about their demise, considering the fact that they have managed to finally become a part of the big league, through dying in the same way as many of the bird's remaining ground troops that are perishing under the machine gun fires coming from the jeeps.
Lark is not in the best of her moods.
For months, she has been fascinated by the idea of taking a ride on her boss's beloved helicopters, firing at enemies trying to take her boss's throne.
Now that her dream has come true, but she isn't grasping the correct sense. She has managed to blown up a jeep, however, the drivers managed to jump off before the explosion and escape into the cargo section. The scattered running targets are incredibly hard for her to hit, and in the process of finally taking down the running gangster, two of her own allies were accidentally shot dead.
"Damn this is such a waste of time and resources, when this is over I'm going to report this to boss and maybe then we can change these clumsy flying castles into practical jeeps like them." Lark almost starts daydreaming about her boss praising her intelligence and rewarding her with fat slacks when a bullet tears through the front class and pierces her chest.
"What's the flying....? " She mumbles, before biting her dust.The last thing she saw was Balalaika holding her Dragunov on her jeep far away below.
"Damn captain you would've been an Olympic champion if it hadn't been Afgh..." The RPG soldier's praise is interrupted by his boss's fierce stare, and he pauses smartly, knowing that one word further he will be pressing on Balalaika's scar.
In the distance, Lark's helicopter crashes onto the body of a cargo ship, creating a temporary firework show, spicing up the already-heated atmosphere of Gotham harbor.
"Time to retreat." Balalaika orders as the surviving members of the casino exploration rush out of the building, reporting no signs of the Penguin.
"We found Boris's burned body near the targeted room, which was empty and look more like a storage than an office. None of his squad members were nearby."
"We'll retrieve their bodies later," Commands Balalaika, as she takes notice of the helicopter with Gotham TV painted on its door looming towards their spot."The reporters have already arrived, and soon will the police."
"Wait captain what is that helicopter trying to ---- ?"
Hardly has the soldier finished his sentence when one Gatling gun pokes out of the door, reeling off an incessant series of bullets, tearing through the crowds of dumbfounded Hotel Moscow militants.
The RPG soldier, who isn't fast enough to duck, gets riddled with holes in sheer seconds. The rains of bullets hurl him over Balalaika, creating a temporary human shield.
"DIE ! YOU PESTS ! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO WHOEVER DARES TO MESS AROUND ON THE PROPERTY OF OSWALD COBBLEPOT ! " Shouts the Penguin, as sweat runs down his hook-shaped nose and twisted face. The shaking muscle presses his monocle upward, forming a caricature of an obese man, a penguin and a gorilla. Continuing pressing the firing button on the control desk, he is too intoxicated in his victory as he watches the remaining men of Balalaika collapsing down on the ground below to notice Balalaika slowly reaching for the RPG soldier's signature weapon.
Seconds later, when Balalaika's movements are too obvious to be overlooked, she has already held the RPG in hands and taken aim. Just as she thinks this bloodbath might be over, the Penguin jumps out of the helicopter the moment she launches out the final rocket.
As the parachute opens up behind Cobblepot's back, Balalaika immediately disposes the useless rocket launcher and attempts to reach out for the rifle on the ground, only to have Penguin firing at the rifle mid-air with his reloaded umbrella gun, blowing it into pieces.
The exact second the Penguin thinks he has this victory in bags and fires the second round, Balalaika hops out of her jeep, barely dodging a direct blow to her seat. The last round soon follows through, only to narrowly miss the target due to Cobblepot's shaky aiming. Seizing Cobblepot's landing as an opportunity to covert defeat into victory, Balalaika charges forward and knees the cunning criminal in the groin before he can steady his umbrella.
Yelling in pain the Penguin struggles to regain his balance as a second punch to the face sends him falling backwards. Hurriedly pressing his umbrella open he blocks a stomp from the Russian fury and stabbed her in the thigh with the spring knife attached to its head.
Stunned by the severe pain and tipped by the umbrella Balalaika backed off a few steps to the right of the Penguinbefore balancing her self and drawing out her pistol,shooting the bird man's arm,forcing the umbrella off his hand. However on the point of making another shot she notices that the Penguin has also drawn out the rarely-used M1911 kept inside his pocket with his intact arm.
At this close of a range and in not-so-perfect physical condition, neither of the mobsters can make up his/her mind to shoot. However, the siren which signifies the arrival of James Gordon finally pushes both of them to give up and drop their guns on the ground.
Winner: Tied
2 days later
"Name ?"
"Putin House."
"Reasons for visit ?"
"The inmate is a personal friend of mine. "
...
"Damn that cop was an easy one to fool." ELGB thinks to himself as he approaches the Penguin's cell, a white envelope in hands.
"Ah finally you've come..... Wait.... You aren't my lawyer ? Do I know you ? Who the hell are you ?"
"You don't remember me ? I'm the man you blew up with your shotgun back at the lounge, right before turning the other man into a Peking duck."
"Wha.... What ? Why are you still alive ?"
"Mr. Cobblepot, after all these years in Gotham, please don't tell me you're still freaking out when seeing someone coming back from dead. The Joker did it twice, Red Hood did it once, and the Bat has done it for countless times. And I assure you that I'm not here to harm you, just to give you this."
"What's inside this....Wait, isn't it the book.....?"
"You're right Mr. Cobblepot. And I do admire the fact that, being a mortal, you have managed to smell the possible profits lying behind this seemingly innocent book. As you might have learned Doctor Dee stole the book from a realm far away, and the Justice League is now busy searching it. Originally I was the one assigned by them to destroy the book in subtle ways that wouldn't draw the attention of the Justice League, therefore I manipulated you and the woman you met into fighting each other, covering up the demolition of the book with an ordinary gang war. However, now that the war has gone out of my control, I ultimately decide to keep the book and pave way for..well, a more subtle story with it."
"And in what part of this story will I be fitting in ? What profits will I derive from it ?"
"Well, easy and simple, Mr. Cobblepot. As you might have realized, the book contains gospels, gospels of your world and many worlds beyond. And your task is to spread this gospel, spread them to Arkham Asylum and Blackgate Prison, spread them to every insane mind of Gotham city, from the beautiful insanity of Joker and Riddler to the lesser-maniacs such as Sionis and Blackfire, and to those insane jokes, Polka-Dot Man, Captain Stingaree, etc... By doing so you'll be having money, loads of money flooding into your account...."
"Then that's a deal. " Smiles the Penguin, as he opens the envelope, revealing its title:
Seven Pillars of Wisdom
Expert's opinion[]
In terms of troop quality and training, Balalaika stands out. However, Penguin's experience of fighting against Batman and outsmarting various supervillains in Gotham and DCU, as well as his more versatile arsenal, manage to make it up for him and result in a tie.