Deadliest Fiction Wiki

Doc Holliday vs Ned Kelly

Last time on the Season of War, the criminal underworld was shaken as a battle raged between two brutal and well-equipped gangs who spread terror in the world. This time, we now pit two of the greatest legends to have existed in the period known as the Wild West where cowboys and bushrangers ran rampant.

Doc Holliday, one of the 4 sheriffs responsible for winning the famous Gunfight at the OK Corral...

vs

Ned Kelly, the Irish man in the iron mask whose legendary feats of liberty and terror have become permanently embedded in Australian culture...

WHO... IS... DEADLIEST?

Let's Meet the Warriors[]

Doc Holliday[]

80px-DocHolliday

John Henry "Doc" Holliday (1851-1887) was best known in the American Wild West as a gambler, gunfighter, dentist, and a good friend of Wyatt Earp. From the early age of 20, Holliday practiced dentistry first in Atlanta, Georgia and then in the American Southwest where he also established his reputation as a gambler and a deadly gunslinger. While in Texas, he saved Wyatt Earp's life and they became friends. In 1880, he joined the Earps in Prescott, Arizona, and then in Tombstone. On October 26, 1881, after many months of threats and attacks on his character, Holliday was deputized by Virgil Earp. Around this time, the Earps and Holliday were embroiled in the Gunfight at the OK Corral, one of the most famous Wild West shootouts in history but only one of the 8 or more that he was involved in. After the gunfight, Holliday became more brutal as a gunslinger/vigilante, hunting down and murdering the cowboys responsible for the incident landing him in hot water with the justice system. Before he could be extradited however, Holliday died of tuberculosis at the age of 36 (having been diagnosed with it since he was 20) in Colorado.

Throughout his lifetime, Doc was known by many of his peers as a tempered, calm Southern gentleman. In an 1896 article, Wyatt Earp said that "Doc was a dentist, not a lawman or an assassin, whom necessity had made a gambler; a gentleman whom disease had made a frontier vagabond; a philosopher whom life had made a caustic wit; a long lean, ash-blond fellow nearly dead with consumption, and at the same time the most skillful gambler and the nerviest, speediest, deadliest man with a six-gun that I ever knew." His tuberculosis didn't hamper his ability as a gambler and a marksman. Holliday was ambidextrous and was known to have carried two pistols into fights. Much of Holliday's violent reputation, however, was nothing more but rumors and self-promotion - it is not known how many people he has killed (although there are exceptions) but it is known that was in at least five one-on-one gunfights in his lifetime.

Melee Bowie Knife
Short Range Colt M1877, Colt Single Action Army, Smith and Wesson Model 3 Schofield
Medium Range Meteor 10 Gauge Side-by-Side Shotgun
Long Range Winchester M1873, Sharps Rifle
Special Remington Model 95 Derringer, Pistol Whip
Team-mates Wyatt Earp, Virgil Earp, Morgan Earp

Ned Kelly[]

Ned-kelly02

Edward "Ned" Kelly (1855–1880) was an Irish Australian bushranger with a legendary reputation of being both a cold-blooded cop killer and a folk hero akin to Robin Hood - as a historian has put it, Kelly was "the last expression of the lawless frontier in what was becoming a highly organised and educated society, the last protest of the mighty bush now tethered with iron rails to Melbourne and the world." Growing up in a poor selector family who saw themselves as downtrodden by colonial 'squatters' and as victims of police persecution, Ned Kelly undertook the life of crime from about age 12 when he first associated himself with bushranger Harry Power. After several run-ins with Victorian police, Ned was declared an outlaw alongside his brother (Dan Kelly) and two associates (Joe Byrne and Steve Hart) in 1878 by the Government. Between 1878 and 1880, Kelly and his posse committed numerous armed robberies and killed a number of people in the process - a police sergeant, 2 constables and an informant. Kelly, during this time, was also made famous through a manifesto letter in which Kelly — denouncing the police, the Victorian Government and the British Empire in general — set down his own account of the events leading up to his outlawry, threatening dire consequences against those who defied him. Kelly's downfall came about in 1880 when his attempt to derail and ambush a police train failed and then engaged in a final violent confrontation with the Victoria Police at Glenrowan which saw Joe, Dan and Steve get killed but Ned only wounded but alive to stand trial and be hung.

Ned Kelly has been described by historians as Ned Kelly as 'one of the most cold-blooded, egotistical, and utterly self-centred criminals who ever decorated the end of a rope in an Australian jail'; that 'Popular instinct has found in Kelly a type of manliness much to be esteemed—to reiterate: courage, resolution, independence, sympathy with the under-dog'. The popular estimate of Kelly's killings of the police at Stringybark Creek accords with his statement, 'I could not help shooting them, or else let them shoot me, which they would have done if their bullets had been directed as they intended'.

Melee Dirk
Short Range .36 Caliber Colt 1851 Navy Revolver, Webley RIC, Remington Model 1858
Medium Range Colt 1878 Coach Shotgun
Long Range "Betty" Snider-Enfield, Spencer Repeating Carbine
Special Colt Revolving Rifle, Steel-Plated Body Armour
Team-mates Dan Kelly, Joe Byrne, Steve Hart

Let's Examine the Weapons[]

Melee[]

Bowie Knife[]

Bowie

The Bowie Knife is a fighting and hunting knife first made in the 1830s. The knife was made famous for being the favored close-range weapon of frontiersman Jim Bowie. The knife ranged from eight to twelve inches in length, and had a false edge on top of the blade to increase the sharpness of the point. The weapon's basic design was the inspiration for numerous later hunting and combat knives.

Dirk[]

Dirk02

A dirk is a type of dagger used primarily as a thrusting weapon. The weapon is best known as being used by the Scottish Highlanders, being worn as part of traditional Highlander clothing, as well as naval officers. Based on what info I could find, the dirk may have had a blade with a length that ranged from 9 to 10 inches and a "spear" point at the tip. It was also (most likely) made of German/Scandinavian steel that those in the Isles highly prized.

BG1's Opinion[]

As much as I hate to do this, I think the Bowie Knife has the edge here because it is more versatile and that bit longer than the Scottish dirk.

Revolvers[]

Holliday's Revolvers[]

190px-Colt 1877 Lightning
The Colt M1877, nicknamed the "Lightning", was a double-action revolver that was chambered in .38 Long Colt. The M1877's early double-action mechanism proved to be both intricate and delicate, and thus prone to breakage. Typically, the hammer spring would fail and this would reduce the revolver to single-action fire only. Outwardly, the Model 1877 shows a striking resemblance to the Colt Single Action Army revolver, however it is scaled down slightly and much thinner in dimension.

FileColtSAA475barrel
The Colt Single Action Army revolver (also known as the Peacemaker) is a single-action revolver developed in the 1870's for U.S. military use. It saw extensive use in combat in the Plains Indians Wars (finding its way into the hands of the Native Americans themselves) and in the wars with Mexico. The weapon fired a .45 Colt round with a range of about 40 yards and a muzzle velocity of 292m/s from a six-shot cylinder.

Schofield Revolver
The Smith & Wesson Model 3 was a single-action, cartridge-firing, top-break revolver produced by Smith & Wesson and adopted by the US Army in 1870 seeing service in the Indian Wars, and there are reports of them in use as late as the Spanish–American War and Philippine–American War. As a revolver, it was chambered with .44 S&W American rounds that were fired with a muzzle velocity of 244m/s and a range of about (perhaps) 50 yeards.

Kelly's Revolvers[]

1851 navy revolver
The Colt 1851 Navy Revolver was a cap and ball revolver that was considered at the time to be a mechanically improved and simplified descendant of the 1836 Paterson revolver as well as an enlarged version of the .31 caliber Colt Pocket Percussion Revolvers. It became very popular in North America at the time of Western expansion. Colt's aggressive promotions distributed the Navy and his other revolvers across Europe, Asia, and Africa. As with many other Colt revolvers, it has a six-round cylinder. The .36 caliber round lead ball weighs 80 grains and with that, the gun has a muzzle velocity of 256 m/s. Loads consist of loose powder and ball or bullet and combustible paper cartridges, all combinations being ignited by a fulminate percussion cap applied to the nipples at the rear of the chamber. Sighting consists of a tapered brass cone front sight pressed into the muzzle end of the top barrel flat with a notch in the top of the hammer, as with most Colt percussion revolvers. In spite of the relative crudity of the sighting arrangement, these revolvers and their modern replicas generally are quite accurate.

400px-Webley 1868 RIC
The Webley RIC (Royal Irish Constabulary) model was Webley's first double-action revolver, and adopted by the RIC in 1868, hence the name. It was a solid frame, gate-loaded revolver, chambered in .442 Webley. General George Armstrong Custer was known to have owned a pair, which he is believed to have used at the Battle of the Little Bighorn in 1876. Being chambered in .442 Webley rounds, the revolver has a muzzle velocity of about 210-220m/s.

300px-New model Army IMG 3544
The Remington Model 1858 was a single-action, six-shot, percussion revolver that was also large-framed in design, chambered in .44 caliber, and had an 8 inch barrel length. As a revolver commonly used in America (but Ned was fond of ball-and-cap revolvers during his time), those who used it found the gun to be very durable - the “topstrap”, solid-frame design was stronger and less prone to frame stretching than the Colt revolvers of the same era - and its capability of easy cylinder removal, allowing a quick reload with a spare pre-loaded cylinder. It had a muzzle velocity that ranged from 167-391m/s and a range of 75 yards.

BG1's Edge[]

Looking at the guns themselves, it appears that Holliday's guns are relatively more advanced than Kelly's since they use metal than percussion rounds - however, Kelly's guns have features on it that make them slightly better in use (the double-action of the RIC, the durability and accuracy of the Remington and Colt Navy). For now, I will call this Even

Shotguns[]

Meteor 10 Gauge[]

Double Barrel shotgun

The Meteor 10 Gauge shotgun was in fact a double-barreled shotgun produced by Belgian gunmaker Meteor. Like most other common double-barreled shotguns, the Meteor 10 Gauge had a side-by-side configuration. As mentioned in the name, this shotgun chambers with 10 Gauge rounds.

Colt 1878 Coach Shotgun[]

400px-Colt1878

The Colt 1878 was also, like the Meteor, a double-barreled shotgun configured with the side-by-side arrangement. As a coach gun, however, it possesses barrels approximately 18" in length and often came in 10 or (in this case) 12 Gauge rounds.

BG1's Edge[]

In possessing a bigger round, the Colt 1878 Coach Shotgun gets the edge here.

Rifles[]

Holliday's Rifles[]

Winchester Model 1873 Short Rifle 1495
The Model 1873 was one of the most successful Winchester rifles of its day, gaining the reputation as "The Gun that Won the West". It was lever-action, had a 20" barrel consistent with a carbine design and could hold 15 rounds of .32-20 caliber bullets that could travel down a range of 250 yards.

Sharps1874
The Sharps Rifle was a large bore single shot rifle renowned for their long-range accuracy. Along with being able to use a standard percussion cap, the Sharps had a fairly unusual pellet primer feed. This was a device which held a stack of pelleted primers and flipped one over the nipple each time the trigger was pulled and the hammer fell - making it much easier to fire a Sharps from horseback than a gun employing individually loaded percussion caps. Because of its breech-loading mechanism, it was able to be fired at a faster rate than other rifles of its kind at the time (a rate of 8-10 shots per minute) and because of its open ladder type sights, it was very accurate at the long range it can cover (500-1000 yards).

Kelly's Rifles[]

Nepalese Snider
The British .577 Snider–Enfield was a breech-loading rifle that was introduced in 1866 as a conversion for Pattern 1853 Rifle Muskets to breech loading. Though only used by the British regular army from 1866 to 1873, it was used by Volunteers and colonial units until the turn of the century. The new design, in comparison to the earlier 1853 Enfields, proved to be more accurate than its predecessors as well as possessing a fire rate of about 10 rounds per minute and a range of about 600-2000 yards. "Betty" was the nickname of such a rifle that Ned Kelly coveted after robbing it from a bank in Euroa.

Spencer Rifle
The Spencer carbine was a shorter and lighter version of the Spencer repeating rifle that was a manually operated lever-action, seven shot repeating rifle produced in the United States for use in the American Civil War. As such, it most likely shares the same design and functionality aspects of the rifle. During its use, the rifle/carbine has been shown to be very reliable under combat conditions, with a sustainable rate-of-fire in excess of 20 rounds per minute, a muzzle velocity of 284-315m/s and a range of 500 yards. Another advantage of the Spencer was that its ammunition was waterproof and hardy, and could stand the constant jostling of long storage on the march.

BG1's Edges[]

Between the Sharps and Snider-Enfield rifles, I will definitely give it to the Snider-Enfield for its arguably greater rate of fire, larger calibre and range over the Sharps despite the reputation of the latter rifle as being good as a sniper owing to its sights.

Between the Winchester and Spencer rifles, however, it will have to call it Even, the Spencer may be practically superior to the Winchester since it has a superior muzzle velocity, durability, rate of fire and range but you simply cannot go toe-to-toe with "The Gun that Won the West" - that also has the advantage over the Spencer in terms of magazine capability and the fact that it uses the same rounds as the pistols being carried (hence the reason for the name).

Special #1[]

Remington Model 95 Derringer[]

Derringer and jj

The Remington Model 95 is a double-barrel pocket pistol commonly recognized as a derringer. The design was little changed during a production run of nearly 70 years through several financial reorganizations of the manufacturer causing repeating serial number sequences. As a derringer, it was single-action and carried a caliber of .41 short rimfire. It is 4 inches in length and weighs about 0.3kg, making it very compact to use.

Colt Model 1855 Revolving Rifle[]

300px-Colt carbine

The Colt revolving rifle was one of Colt's earliest attempts at creating a repeating rifle that combined the six-shooter revolving mechanism normally found in revolvers of the time with the practicality of a rifle. The revolving rifle used percussion caps, like revolving pistols of the time. A cartridge consisting of powder and a lead ball were loaded into the front of the chamber, and were then compressed with a plunger that was located beneath the barrel. Once the cylinder's chambers were loaded, percussion caps were placed over the vent nipples at the rear of the cylinder. This system however led to the problem of "chain fire" occurring where the whole 6 rounds would blow up in the cylinder as one was just fired and injure someone's hand. Ned Kelly was known to have used this weapon late in his criminal career and there has been no mention of him having suffered "chain fire" during his use of the gun.

BG1's Edge[]

I reckon that despite the range and rate of fire advantages the Colt Revolving Rifle has over the derringer, the latter gun is more reliable to use. Edge then goes to the Remington Model 95 Derringer.

Special #2[]

Pistol Whip[]

Pistol-whipping or buffaloing is the act of using a handgun as a blunt weapon, wielding it as if it were a club or baton. Pistol-whipping is done with the gun held in an ordinary manner, hitting the target with an overhand strike from either the long, heavy barrel of the gun or the side of the gun in the area of the cylinder. This may leave unusual lacerations or even fractures on the body of the injured due to various protruding details of the pistol.

Steel-Plated Body Armour[]

220px-Nedkellysarmour1882

The armour worn by the Kelly Gang was made of iron a quarter of an inch thick, and consisted of a long breast-plate, shoulder-plates, back-guard, and helmet. The helmet resembled a nail can without a crown, and included a long slit for the eyes. The suits' separate parts were strapped together on the body while the helmet was separate and sat on the shoulders, allowing it to be removed easily. Ned Kelly's armour weighed 44 kilograms (97 lb). His suit was the only one to have an apron at the back, but all four had front aprons. Padding is only known from Ned's armour and it is not clear if the other suits were similarly padded. Ned wore a padded skull cap and his helmet also had internal strapping so that his head could take some of the weight. Furthermore, all four members wore dustcoats over their armour. The armour generated some controversy and awe in its use - initial descriptions of the armour by police informants were rejected as silly, later police descriptions described Ned as not even human judging by his appearance in it, and it even captured the imagination of British author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle who commented on the gang's imagination and recommended similar armour for use by British infantry.

BG1's Edge[]

I must say that I have to give the edge here to the Armour here out of these because simply put, the pistol-whip might cause Kelly pain but not harm given that his helmet is made of steel and Ned himself has padding underneath it so the whip may hurt but otherwise it won't have the devastating laceration/fracture effect as it otherwise might have on a normal person. Also worth mentioning is the psychological aspect it brings to the table as mentioned above with the police.

Let's Meet the Team-Mates[]

The Earp Brothers[]

Wyatt Earp Profile
Wyatt Earp (1848-1929) was an American gambler, Pima County, Arizona Deputy Sheriff, and Deputy Town Marshal in Tombstone, Arizona. Even before the defining event that is the Gunfight at the OK Corral, he lived a restless life. He was at different times in his life a constable, city policeman, county sheriff, Deputy U.S. Sheriff, teamster, buffalo hunter, bouncer, saloon-keeper, gambler, brothel owner, pimp, miner, and boxing referee. Within 2 years, he was arrested, sued twice, escaped from jail, then was arrested three more times for "keeping and being found in a house of ill-fame". He landed in the cattle boomtown of Wichita, Kansas, where he became a deputy city marshal for one year and developed a solid reputation as a lawman. In 1876, he went to Dodge City, Kansas, where he became an assistant city marshal. In winter 1878, he went to Texas to gamble, where he met John Henry "Doc" Holliday. He left Dodge City in 1879 and moved to Tombstone, Arizona in order to take advantage of the silver boom occurring there - eventually becoming a law enforcement officer there. After the famous gunfight and his brother's assassination, Wyatt and friends formed a federal posse that killed three of the Cowboys whom they thought responsible. Wyatt was never wounded in any of the gunfights, unlike his brothers Virgil and James or Doc Holliday, which only added to his mystique after his death. After this, he spent most of his elderly life being both a gambler and a lawman until his death in 1929. Like his brothers, Wyatt Earp was a physically imposing figure for his day: 6 feet (1.8 m) tall, when most men were about 5 feet 6 inches (1.68 m).He was described in 1887 by the Los Angeles Herald as "quiet, unassuming, broad-shouldered, with a large blonde mustache. He is dignified, self-contained, game and fearless, and no man commands greater respect ..." He weighed about 165 to 170 pounds (75 to 77 kg), was long-armed, and muscular, and was very capable of using his fists instead of his weapon to control those resisting his authority.

VirgilEarp
Virgil Earp (1843–1905) was the Deputy U.S. Marshal for Cochise County and Tombstone City Marshal. Before the famous Gunfight, Virgil served in the Union Army during the American Civil War (where he was court martialed for a minor offense and docked two weeks pay as punishment) and held a variety of other jobs throughout his life, though he primarily worked in law enforcement. Unlike his brother Wyatt, Virgil was not much of a gambler. After taking part in the famous Gunfight, Virgil (along with his brothers and Holliday) were threatened by members of the criminals he has slain to the point that 2 months after the shootout, he was ambushed. The ambushers hit him in the back with three shotgun rounds, shattering his left arm and leaving him permanently maimed. Despite this, he was still able to work as a law enforcement officer and detective in the 1890s until his death in 1905. His appearance has been described as "close to six feet in height, of medium build, chestnut hair, sandy mustache, light eyebrows, quiet, blue eyes and frank expression" while "His face, voice and manner were prepossessing".

220px-MorganEarp
Morgan Seth Earp (1851 –1882) was the younger brother of Deputy U.S. Marshals Virgil and Wyatt Earp and like them, he worked as a Deputy U.S. Marshal under his brothers. When elder brothers Newton, James, and Virgil went off to the American Civil War, they left their young teenage brothers Wyatt and Morgan to tend the family farm. Before adulthood, teen-aged Morgan followed James Earp up to Montana for a couple of years. Later he was with Wyatt on the Western frontier in places such as Kansas and Montana. By 1881 and the Gunfight, Morgan worked under Virgil as Deputy Marshal while he was Chief of Police and joined him, Wyatt and Doc for the ensuing gun battle which left him wounded. In 1882, Morgan was ambushed after returning from a musical at Schieffelin Hall where he was fatally shot in the spine. It was through his death that the Earps and Holliday swore vengeance against The Cowboys by forming a posse. Not much is known about Morgan's appearance through his life - the only two brothers that newspapers reported on were Virgil and Wyatt. From what is known, Morgan normally showed the same even temper and cool reactions to danger as did his brothers.

The Kelly Gang[]

DanKellyOutlaw
The son of an Irish convict, Dan Kelly (1861-1880) was the younger brother of the bushranger Ned Kelly. Like Ned, Dan became involved in criminal activities at a young age, ranging from assaults to robberies. After an incident in 1878 where he and the Kelly family allegedly attacked Constable Fitzpatrick, he and Ned went into hiding in the bush for a while. During the months they were hiding at Bullock Creek, they were often visited by their friends including Steve Hart, Joe Byrne, Aaron Sherritt and the Lloyds. They were also rendered outlaws and fugitives by the police - a reward of £100 being offered for their capture which increased to £500-£2,000 and then £2,000-£8,000. As experts living in the bush and with aid by sympathetic locals, the Kellys and their gang affiliates hid for much longer than the police could find them. From 1879-1880, Dan partook in the various robberies that the Gang instigated across Victoria, including the murder of police informant and former friend Aaron Sherritt. Dan Kelly supposedly died when the police sieged Glenrowan Inn where the Kelly Gang were holed up in 1880 although there was very little supporting evidence - even to the point where stories were supposedly made up of Dan's survival.

Joe Byrne the 19th-century outlaw
Joe Byrne (1856–1880) was an Australian bushranger born in Victoria to an Irish immigrant just like his friends Ned and Dan, as well as being the man responsible for creating the legendary status of Ned through the Kelly Gang letters, ballads and armour. Unlike the Kellys, Byrne grew up in a modest environment, attending Catholic school regularly and earning a desirable reputation as a "flash writer". It was in 1869 that he was introduced to the world of crime through his friend Aaron Sherritt, and in 1871 through one of the Kelly brothers imprisoned in the same jail as him that Joe met with Ned and Dan. He was supposedly present during the Fitzpatrick incident and was one of the few friends to have visited the Kellys in their hideout in the bush. Joe Byrne was present at Stringybark Creek with the Kelly brothers and Steve Hart on 26 October 1878 when they surprised a patrol of four police officers on their trail, with three of them shot dead. Between 1879 and 1880, Byrne was present at every bank raid the Kelly Gang committed until Glenrowan were he was shot dead. His body was the only one to be recovered from inside the Glenrowan Inn when police besieged the place.

250px-SteveHart
Steve Hart (1859–1880) was an Australian bushranger and a close friend of Ned Kelly alongside Joe Byrne. Like the other Kelly Gang members, Hart was born to an Irish immigrant family and like Joe, he lived a moderate environment, becoming a jockey early on in his life. In 1877, Hart was sentenced to prison time for stealing a horse and it was through this imprisonment that he met with the other Kelly Gang members. Out of the four members, Hart can be said to be the closest thing to an Australian Robin Hood as he was a good person to the poor of Victoria. Hart partook in the gangs various robberies around the northern Victoria area - some of his actions through those times were significant: through a friend at Euroa, the police were able to fully determine who was in the Kelly Gang; at the same place, he left for the police a calling card in the form of a bullet with an 'H' inscribed into it; and at Jerilderie, he was forced to give back a watch he stole from a Protestant parson "looking daggers". During the Glenrowan siege by police in 1880, Steve died and his body, like Dan's, was never recovered fully from the incident.

Sorry, I can't do X-Factors for this (I'm not letting my Aussie bias get in the way of things here!) so moving onto the battle...[]

Battle[]

Kelly Gang: Black Red Red Red OK Corral Sheriffs: Orange Blue Blue Blue

AN EXTRACT FROM:

Parcel 14

His Life at 28 Years of Age

Faded old newspaper pages cut into 10 pages (12" x 14" approximately). Few tears but mostly wrinkles indicating hasty writing on a rough surface. Text written mostly in lead pencil and legible but some of the writing is faint in a few areas.

An account from Ned Kelly of the shootout at (insert Victorian placename) between the gang and OK Corral Sheriffs Holliday and Wyatt.

I tell you solemnly my dear child I have no idea how Dan and me and Steve and Joe escaped out of that gunfight back at Glenrowan be it divine intervention from above or something. I am just glad me and my mates made it out of that mess in one piece we werent ready to go down without a fight. The next few months we spent hiding out back in the bushes while the police were continuing to catch us unawares. No doubt the parliament folks in the inner city were chewing them up for it were their fault for letting us slip through their fingers. Living out here on the bush with nothing but ourselves and bush tucker for as far as I wd. see was not easy. Me and Dan would argue a lot about who gets to cook berry supper while Joe rolls his eyes at me and Steve just sit there by the fire. Whenever we came up to a suburb on our trek however we were very careful not to let anyone point their finger at us and say O looky here thems that wanted Kelly man. Evry time we came up to a little town there were always one or two policemen walking about so uppity and on their toes eyes like a dingo. It ridiculous how at the sound of something they freeze and turn their head quickly like a wallaby. It were one of them days where the police were doing their rounds walking up and down the dirt road as me and Joe crawled about looking for scraps of food to bring back when we heard the two burly men talk about some new lawmen from this place called America came here under orders from the government to look for us. I tell you now through this note what me and Joe heard and then told back to Dan and Steven. These men from America were sheriffs who have caught a lot of badmen from their place and sent them to jail by themselves - the names I could pick out were names I am having a hard time to pronounce myself right now but all i know is that one is called hollyday and the other three are erps. At first we laughed off the whole thing like it was some bloody joke meant to scare us into the open arms of the police. One day though I looked at the paper being passed around town and right there on the front page were the faces of the men sent from America to come get me and it is these papers i used to write these notes in. If you look closely at some of them you will see photos of those men and I bet you that as you look at them you will feel a sense of dread and horror for they look stronger than me. Thats the way I felt when i were looking at it and the way Dan Joe and Steve felt too.

...

Before you think that upon getting to this line that i met my maker at the hands of these men, i tell you solemnly this was not the case for it was me Joe Dan and Steven that drove them foreigners out of this forsaken bushland.

It all happened a week after that rumour spread like a fire around the state that the gunmen from America actually started working with them police pigs. Dan and I were busy washing our clothes down by Ovens river in the broad light of the sun while Joe and Steve scavenged for our grub to eat down by the wattles and eucalypts. The air were tranquil and the water were nicely cool and once again did I get the feeling that something were not right with the day as the sense of foreboding danger once again creeped on me. I looked around with great hesitation while Dan continued to rinse the dirt off his old dungarees and shirt.

Why the long face he asked me you look like you've seen a ghost.

It was then when Steve and Joe come rushing down onto the riverside with their tucker hastily tucked away at the bottom of their shirts and told us the bad news.

The police with their American friends are coming this way and it looks like them guns they carry are fully loaded.

How far out?

Hard to tell but they seem to be coming down this way I hope they didn't spot us.

Dan silenced us as we heard faint footsteps and horse clops getting nearer and nearer. Like flashes of lightning the four of us ran back to our own guns hoping to scare off the police pigs and their American friends. Every gun we had had not been touched since we left it and the beeswax on the cylinder of my revolving rifle has just done its work so i wiped it off got my revolving pistols holstered them then picked up my rifle. Dan Joe and Steve did the same with the other weapons before we all donned the armour. It still had some bruises and dents from our last shootouts but firm and in one piece they still stood.

By the time i donned my helmet the sounds of the policemen and the americans drew closer and closer. I swear I heard the americans say strange things like varmint and sheriff and corral and all some other crazy stuff. I knew they were foreign but never knew that they spoke an entirely different language overseas where they come from.

How long before we spring the trap on them steve said to Dan.

Lets sneak up behind them and catch by surprise my brother replied sounding so reassured the plan might work.

We slowly moved our way through the bushes and grass keeping our eyes peeled on the train of men looking carefully for us their eyes darting through the trees hoping to see something unusually kelly-shaped like our helmets. It were like a good stroke of luck was given to us by the Lord above for we snuck right behind the police without them taking any notice them dumbos. As the four of us crouched and ran to the other side of the trail I swear I saw something that made my blood boil for one of the fancy dressed americans turned around and almost saw us slip away. It were good thing he shrugged it off or everything would have gone wrong. With our rifles we started training our sights on which of the police officers to shoot at so as to scare everyone away. I had mine set on the poor fella standing next to the giant man with his chestnut brown hair and almost medium build from what I could tell while Dan had his on the unlucky officer treading slowly behind the biggest and burliest man of the bunch. I dare not kill anyone unless they in their right mind decide to shoot back at me but the inner demon in me that hated those pigs who think they can stop me almost pushed me to pull the trigger when that young man walked right in line with my barrel. It was lucky I fired my gun only mere moments after that tempting scene and I ended up blowing a huge hole in that young man's hand. Could have been worse. Dan fired off his gun and his bullets hit smack bang into the shoulder bone sending his officer down to the ground writhing in pain. After that all hell broke loose with the convoy the americans firing their revolvers in our direction. Again we werent sure but it seemed like the grace of God almighty saved us once again as almost all their shots missed completely. Sure the police fired too but I wont bother detailing about them since it was the americans that fascinated me more.

Thats done it Ned you made them angry Steve said as he tapped me on the shoulderplate

If angry be the way they play then angry we play back Joe came to my defence

Dan said nothing as he continued to unload his revolver rounds on the fleeing policemen and laughed as the americans tried to flank around us.

We heard them mutter some rather interesting sentences in their interesting language like what in tarnation are these fools playing at? and go back and get the winchester well cover you. I dont know about you but whatever these foreigners had in store they werent welcome on my home turf. After a while I abandoned using the revolving rifle for i werent hitting anything special and anyway i felt like the gun would blow up at any given time. Taking out my own revolvers I started firing off into the air in the general direction of the americans especially in the face of the leader who after each shot started to cough like the smoke coming out of his revolver was slowly killing him. Although I turned around and bolted back to home base I heard Joe scream in pain as his old revolver was shot out of his hand by the coughing american now aiming down the sights of his revolver.

Bastard got me he yelled out as Steve and Dan rushed to his aid their armour continuing to deflect the hail of bullets raining down on them.

It were a bit of a walk to get back to our campsite where the fire embers were starting to die thank goodness and the clothes have begun to dry out. Joe were laid down on the ground and Steve got to work doing the best he could to stitch up the painful wound. The sounds of the americans came closer as time went on and steve and dan worked their magic. To think them foreigners can come in and harm my friends just made my blood boil and my head were hot and damp already enough as it were under the helmet. I spied a police officer making his way past the trees his eyes darting around the site thinking he hit the jackpot. Of course he werent so lucky as I took up Betty and mowed him down before he could turn about face. After Joes hand were bandaged up with leather he picked up our shotgun with his good hand I heard a voice cry out theres the kelly gang lets round them up in that rough american accent I have heard so often from them which makes me wonder if all americans talked like that. Then one of them showed up from among the trees but he were so sluggish in his movements it made me wonder if he was worth fighting off for since i could see the whites of his hair and the wrinkles on his face before he misfired one of his own guns and tore a hole in our tent.

Dammit to hell he grunted before he could try to fire off one more shot which whizzed right past my shoulder and into the kettle. Youd be pleased to know he managed to flee before he could suffer the same fate as that preceding officer... for the time being.

Holstering our pistols back into our pockets the four of us decided it would be best to scram before them americans could run all the way back and take us unawares. It felt like this whole battle was going to drag out until nightfall and we werent too ok in our armour as well. Still we had to keep pushing on and making our escape until the searchers have given up. By the time we got to the creek however it wasnt the case and yet another american showed up hoping to take us down conveniently telling us ignorantly that guns were invented to get past armour but his shots to our chestplates proved otherwise. This young fella was about a decade younger than that old fella i mentioned before and his shooting was good but he certainly appeared to be the more daring of the four. The moment he took a couple of shots from Dans shotgun Blue he just stared at us point blank with no complete expression of surprise. Didnt stop others from reacting however and we ran as fast as we could again. This time the pigs bothered to show up and start taking shots at us again and I remembered one thing that almost caused me to have a change of heart for it were the big burly fellow who cried with remorse and fury at the sight of the corpse as it tumbled near the river. He were so angry that he made me feel the same way too when he took out his own rifle and fired it straight at Steves legs causing Steven to fall on his back hard. I tried to help him back on his feet and was blindly firing Betty until a shot landed between me and Steve like a warning as if the american tried to say stay away from him or youre gonna get it. Even though I could not see his face behind the helmet i saw in his eyes that it was better for the three of us to continue without him. As much as it pained me Dan and Joe we had to continue on our trail stepping backwards very quickly so as to sneak away into the bush like snakes. I dont know what happened back there when we lost sight of the fallen steve but my guess is with all the fury of a raging bull that big burly american got his revenge Red. So now itd be my turn to start calling the shots. Dan began reloading the Spencer and I reloaded Betty as quickly as I could before the patrol started to follow my scent.

Hide behind the trees I have an idea Joe said as he undid the bandage surround his hand and discarded the armour

Are you nuts my brother asked but Joe replied that it may be crazy but it may work. I'd have to give him the benefit of the doubt for this occassion for desparation gripped us all. Laying down on the floor playing possum while me and dan hid ourselves behind some trees and it were lucky mine had a fallen log in front of it. We heard the americans continue to trudge their way through the thick grass to reach where we were and they saw joes dead body and although the victorian police were scratching their heads the coughing american knelt down and tried to make sure joe was indeed dead. Noticing the furrow of his brow i suspected something was wrong so i decided to come out of hiding with my revolver and shoot dead an unsuspecting officer while dan jumped out of his hiding place and waited for the old american to miss another one of his shots with his rifle before he fell to the earth Blue with a dazed expression on his face. Again the big burly american was so annoyed at this spectacle that he pushed his coughing pal out of the way as he fired more revolver shots at me and dan and went straight for joes throat. i knew joe to be at least a thinker on his feet with his feet for he kicked the big man in the groin and slid out from under his feet while dan retreated into the thick. I myself stayed for as long as i could behind the log downing policemen after policemen while the log and god shielded my legs from pain. As for the fight between joe and the big american the fight seemed to be at a losing side so as the coughing american chased after my brother i tried to help joe by tackling the american to the floor. didnt work but at least when the american tried to whip at me with his revolver all he got was a sore wrist and i got a sore head. this gave joe the perfect time to take out his knife or so he thought for the american decided to get his own knife out. me not being a knife fighter decided to follow dan and the american down to wherever they went and as far as i heard between the clicking of the knives and grunts echoing through the trees that joe was not going to come to us again poor bastard Red.

Come and get me you b----rs i heard dan yell from the top of his lungs to which the gruff american replied im already here you f---ing c--------r come out of there and i wont shoot

The tense shouting match droned on for a bit as i continued to walk briskly to the scene turning my head back for i thought the big burly american were sure to follow me. eventually i found dan and the american standing off outside a farmers shed where dan was located and the coughing american was alone. he were standing there with his hands in his pockets and as i circled around the place i knew he had some smug streak about him with his hands held so close to his holster. taking out betty i hoped to get a good sniping position while dan tried to settle the matter on his own end so it were by chance that he suddenly poked his head out and surprise surprise the american shot his revolver and barely missed my brother.

Last chance I heard him say proudly and for certain his booming voice meant that his burly companion aint far off. Now be it the grace of god almighty or some other higher power that my brother had the right sense to come out revolver in hand and shoot a round just missing the coughing american whose coughing left his own shot able to scrape dans shoulder deep enough for dans rifle to be dropped. It were my own raging blood to force me to shoot a round from betty into that americans lungs hoping to put everyone involved out of their misery. When he fell to the ground writhing in pain as he tried to catch his breath i went for dan as fast as i could and i hoisted him up to my shoulder and the two of us continued to walk quickly on even as the big burly american reached the shed and fired off more rounds from his shotgun each shot either missing or bouncing off our armour. God were really on our side as we disappeared into the woods while the burly american emptied his gun and started to cradle his friend in his arm watching him slowly die Orange. For once me and dan felt actual pity on the man but there was always a part of me that said he had it coming so in writing this passage i tell you solemnly that the man i killed i had admiration for since he at least in his own shots took both my brother and steve down with just one shot without killing them.

Eventually me and dan got to another clearing where i tended to dans wounds. fortunately i dressed his wound carefully and stopped the bleeding well enough for him to lie down and rest with his revolvers and rifle next to him and he gave me that look suggesting it were my turn to get the grub. naturally i smirked and complied with his wish.

...

The group of Victorian policemen out on the track were in complete and utter shock as the big burly American known as Wyatt Earp emerged from the bush with the bloodied corpse of Doc Holliday in his hands and tears of both anger and sorrow in his eyes. They asked him what happened down there in the bush and all the lone cowboy could utter from his shaking lips were "They got 'em all". All the lead constable could do was look out into the bush and shake his head in utter disbelief that their wanted man was still out there and it turned out he could best the finest sheriffs in all the wild west.

Winner: Ned Kelly

Expert's Notes[]

Although it appeared that Holliday and the Earps had superior weaponry save for melee and special, their expertise as gunslingers was not as fantastic as Hollywood would have you believed. The experts here determined that it was the determination and brutality of Kelly and his gang with their weapons - in addition to their protective iconic armour - that allowed them to triumph over the famous OK Corral sheriffs. If you find this battle to be unfair in any way, shape or form, by all means go ahead and do a rematch.

Notes[]

  • This battle will take place in the bushlands of north-eastern Victoria with the scenario being an alternate 1881 where Holliday and the Earp Brothers (fresh from the Gunfight at the OK Corral) are drafted by the Victorian government to aid the police in capturing the elusive Kelly Gang (who have survived the Siege at Glenrowan).
  • Just to make it clear, the win condition for Holliday's group is that they have to either kill or capture Ned and/or his gang. For Kelly to win, he must elude capture - whether that be by forcing Holliday's group to retreat or killing them.
  • Voting will last for quite a while; I'm still writing up LRDG vs E Company (looking up Band of Brothers for ideas) which may take some time.
  • Before anyone jumps to any ideas about me, let me make it clear that the misspellings in this sim were intentional - such typos and other grammatical errors were also deliberately used in the source material for this battle: Peter Carey's "True History of the Kelly Gang" since Carey imagined that any correspondence between Kelly and his daughter would be of dictated form and the dictatee would be just as grammatically incorrect and unknowledgeable as Kelly himself was.