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Monkeys vs Los Illuminados.jpg

A little early Halloween match-up for you all. In celebration of the newly released Resident Evil 8, I created this survival-horror themed group battle.

Los Illuminados: Zombie-like cultists of Resident Evil 4


The Monkeys: Psychopathic gangsters from Manhunt 1


Los Illuminados

The Los Illuminados.jpg

Los Illuminados was a cult operating in an unknown rural region in Spain. Los Illuminados was created sometime around the 18th century where they worshipped "Las Plagas" ("The Plagues"), a parasitic organism with the ability to control its hosts.

The first Castellan of the region outlawed the cult and had the Plagas sealed in a cave system beneath his castle. Eventually, under the rule of the 8th Castellan, the Los Illuminados now under the rule of Osmund Saddler, were allowed to mine the area, for that was how Salazar felt he should atone for the sins of his ancestors, who sealed Las Plagas from the Los Illuminados, effectively occupying his castle which acted as a base for the cult under Saddler.

The entire Los Illuminados were soon implanted with Plagas along with much of the local population who had joined the cult. Saddler himself was implanted with a Master Plaga and as such has direct control over the others, using lieutenants with similarly augmented Plagas to monitor and direct the Ganados on the ground.



  • An agricultural tool that has a long curved hook blade. It is usually about 1.5" (40 mm) wide with an open crescent shaped blade approx 18" (450mm) across. This tool is usually used to harvest or reap grain, but in the hands of a Los Illuminados, it can be used as a weapon.
  • Due to the strength of the Los Illuminados, the sickle can be used as a throwable projectile weapon.

Bow Gun

  • A custom-made crossbow that can fire two bolts at a time before reloading.

  • The Monkeys

    The Monkeys.PNG.png

    The Monkeys are a gang of psychos who believe themselves to be primates, dressing in monkey costumes and only mimicking monkey sounds. Their costumes are based around the Jolly Chimp toy.

    The Monkeys operate in the Carcer City Zoo and ambush anyone they see, except their own gang members. They are very territorial and loyal to the gang. Although seemingly primal, The Monkeys are intelligent enemies who use covers and ambushes to try and kill James Earl Cash.

    The Monkeys are said to lose their control when there are no bananas around to eat. When this occurs, they commonly raid other gangs or assault the nearest bystander. Due to sharing the same territory, the Monkey seem to be in conflict with the Wardogs, as seen in the intro of the mission "Monkey See, Monkey Die" where a Monkey ambushed and killed a Wardog. Missions taking place in the Carcer City Zoo often depict Wardogs whispering about their comrades who fell to the Monkeys.



    • The gang's machete is based around an enlarged Spetsnaz Machete. It has a wide end with little to no pointy edge (similar to a meat cleaver). It typically has a 10-inch long blade.

    Sawed-Off Shotgun

  • A double-barrel short length shotgun that can fire two rounds at a time. It has an ejector that automatically ejects spent shells when the breech is opened, decreasing its reload time.

  • X-Factors


    Most Los Illuminados members are "ganados", which means they are infected by the parasite Plagas, an anthropod-like creature that crawls into a human and takes control of it, giving the latter superhuman strength and durability. When threatened, these parasites would reveal and try to defend themselves. Although in this battle we will only be using the Sickle and Bow Gun variants (who have lesser health and rarely reveal a plaga), these ganados are still strong enough to lift up a full-grown adult and either choke him or slam him to the ground, breaking his neck. They are also pretty durable, being able to survive more pistol rounds than a normal human (though headshots and more powerful guns will put them down). The only advantage that the Monkeys have over Los Illuminados is speed and agility. The Monkeys are able to strife and strike quickly at their opponents, while Los Illuminados tended to shamble. But still, this is their only advantage.


    Los Illuminados members aren't known for their intellect. Aside from a few selected cultists who can use miniguns, most ganado grunts have one tactic and that is to rush B and overwhelm with superior numbers and durability. All they do is stand in the open and slowly move towards Leo. The Monkeys on the other hand, while seemingly crazy, seldom do this and are mostly smart enough to use tactics. They know how to use covers, stealth, and can ambush and surprise their enemies. They know the importance of retreating and using the high ground for their advantage.


    Both organizations have decent combat careers. Los Illuminados have fought against counter terrorists, mercenaries and government agents, though they have a habit of being beaten by one-man armies like Leon S. Kennedy, Jack Krauser, and Ada Wong. The Monkeys have been in rivalry with the Wardogs, a conservative paramilitary organization made up of gun fanatics, hired guns, and military veterans, killing many of their members. Yet, like the Los Illuminados, they also get their ass kicked by a lone wolf namely James Earl Cash.


    • Battle takes place in a neutral abandoned mall.


    A group of 5 Monkeys have decided to raid a cult who have taken refuge inside an abandoned chapel. Carrying their shotguns and machetes, they carefully sneaked into the premises. Inside were 5 Los Illuminados cultists standing in the circle making their chants and rituals, praying to the parasitic gods for divine power and wisdom. The Monkeys gave shit about religion though. They only wanted bananas.

    "Oh! AHAHAHAAAHA!" one of the Monkeys screamed like a... uhhh... monkey, as they fired their shotgun. One of the Los Illuminados was hit in the back simultaneously, killing him instantly.Darkred.png The Los Illuminados turned around, but instead of being surprised, they only had blank faces. As the Monkeys reloaded, the cultists fired their crossbows. One of the Monkeys was hit with two arrows in the head.Blue.png The cultists then shambled forward as the Monkeys retreated.

    When the cultists reached went through a corridor, one of them was ambushed by a Monkey. His head was split open by a machete.Darkred.png When he tried to pull the machete out, a cultist ganado beheaded him with a sickle.Blue.png A Monkey tried to shoot at the cultists, but one of them threw their sickle, which stuck itself on the Monkeys chest.Blue.png The cultists continued to shamble through the corridor. They ended up in a big hall, of which shotgun blasts from the Monkeys rained down on them from the balconies, killing two instantly.Darkred.pngDarkred.png The remaining cultist fired back with his crossbow, embedding itself on the head of a Monkey.Blue.png

    Now only one Monkey and one Los Illuminados cultist were left. The Monkey jumped from the balcony and charged with his machete. He easily cleaved through the neck of the cultist but to his surprise, the latter survived. The cultist retaliated by slashing his chest with his sickle, drawing blood. In pain, the Monkey tried to push through. He chopped the cultist arm off, but the latter then wrapped his remaining hand on the former's throat. He then lifted the Monkey up and tried to choke him. But the Monkey then buried his machete on the Los Illuminados's skull, killing him.Darkred.png

    The Monkey then dropped on the ground and screamed in victory.

    Expert's Opinion

    Although the Los Illuminados cultists have better physicality, the Monkeys' better weapons and ability to strategy won them the day.