| “ | One of these days you're going to die laughing!
— Smarty
|
” |
The Toon Patrol are a gang of five toon anthropomorphic weasels, who serve as henchmen to Judge Doom and the secondary antagonists in the 1988 live-action/animated film, Who Framed Roger Rabbit. In the film, the Toon Patrol are the law enforcers of Toontown, although they behave more like vigilantes and mercenaries. Judge Doom has hired them to arrest Roger Rabbit for the murder of Marvin Acme. Their vehicle is a 'real' black 1937 Dodge Humpback panel truck which serves as a paddy wagon. The vehicle is fitted with official City of Los Angeles "Toon Patrol" decals on the front doors.
Like all the other Toons in the movie, the Toon Patrol are invincible to physical body harm except from the chemical blend called "The Dip". In the case of the weasels, it is shown that prolonged laughter is also lethal to them; while Eddie Valiant jokes around in front of them during the climax of the film, all except their leader Smarty the Weasel die from laughing at him; Smarty meets his demise after Valiant kicks him into a vat of The Dip.Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.
Battle vs. O.W.C.A. (by Oshbosh)[]
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
The Toon Patrol was in their black 1937 Dodge Humpback panel truck after Eddie Valiant and Roger Rabbit. Then a laser shot came and hit a wheel, causing it to crash. Smarty, Greasy, Psycho and Wheezy jump out of the car before it crashes. However, Stupid isn't so lucky, as he goes up with the explosion.
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
The O.W.C.A agents jump out including Perry the Platypus, Terry the Turtle, Agent E, Agent R and Agent F.
"Let's get them boys!" Smarty yelled out.
The Toon Patrol takes out their weapons. The agents take theirs out. The two armies charge. Greasy targets Agent R. Greasy slashes at him. Agent R attacks him with his claws. Greasy right hooks Agent R and plunges the switchblade into his neck.
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
Agent E swoops down at Psycho and slashes at him with his talons. Psycho stabs his leg with the straight razor. Agent E then claws out his eyes. However, before he can fly back up, he is gunned down by Wheezy's Tommy Gun.
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
Greasy was shooting at Terry with his Semi Automatic Pistol. Terry the shot Greasy in the arm with his crossbow, causing him to drop the gun. Terry the equips his Ninja Glove and launches a puddle of acid. Greasy stumbles on it and loses his feet. Terry finishes him off with a crossbow to the brain.
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
Agent F tries to strangle Wheezy with his tongue, but has no avail. Wheezy just shoots Agent F in the mouth with his Tommy Gun.
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
Terry then uses his Carbonator and sprays Wheezy's eyes. Wheezy eyes start getting irritated and lowers his eye sight. He doesn't see when Perry on a jetpack shoots him with a ray gun.
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
Smarty then shoots Terry in the back of his head.
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
Smarty discards his Revolver and takes out a switchblade. Perry readies his fists.
"You bring fists to a knife fight? I expected more." Smarty taunts
Perry goes at Smarty and uppercuts the toon weasel. Smarty then slashes Perrys face and punches him aside.Before Smarty can finish him off, Perry elbows him and kicks him away. Smarty then kicks Perry in the chest and dazzles him. Smarty then punched the switchblade into Perry as he falls down dead.
Toon Patrol:
O.W.C.A.:
Smarty laughs and then remembers how upset Judge Doom will be. He walked back to find him.
Winner: The Toon Patrol
Experts Opinion[]
While the O.W.C.A. had better training that equals many special forces around the world and battle efficient weapons, the Toon Patrol was believed to have won due to the devastation of their Tommy Gun, their brutal killer instinct, and the simplicity and effectiveness of their weapons.
To see the original battle, weaponry, and votes, click here.