Deadliest Fiction Wiki

Today, being Tlingit has been narrowed down to our clans and our families. But the most important thing our children need to learn is that we are human beings.
— David Katzeek

The Tlingit were a seafaring people, skilled fishers, traders and hunters-gatherers, who were located southern Alaska in the United States and British Columbia and the Yukon in Canada.

The Tlingit were believed to have settled in the region for thousands of years. The first recorded contact by Europeans with the Tlingit people started in 1745 when Russian traders started to explore Alaska. The Russians initiated trade with the Tlingit for sea-otter pelts and other items.

By 1772 the Russians had established permanent settlements and trading posts in the area. Although initial contact with the Russians was peaceful the culture clash soon led to conflicts and wars. In 1794 the first Russian Orthodox missionaries arrived from Russia to convert Alaskan Native Indians and in 1799 Russian claimed the whole of Alaska for themselves. In 1804 the Battle of Sitka, was fought between European and Alaska Natives and in 1805 the Tlingit attacked and destroyed the Russian post at New Russia.

Battle vs. Kiribati Warrior (by Kaiser of Metcalfer99)[]


The rain (thankfully) was finally easing, the winds were dying down and the swell was calming but most importantly they could see land. A long colourful boat bobbed in through the waves, in it were a group of armoured men with ghoulish visages, they were Tlingit and they where here to raid, although the only sight of civilisation was a lone dilapidated hut, it will do well enough.


Along the pathway winding through the Palm trees walked a man armoured in a suit of coconut, and stingray skin armour topped off with a dried out Porcupine Fish helmet, and the man was ecstatic. Tomorrow would be the day his boy would become a man, since his son turned twelve he has been living in a small hut with his grandfather, training to become a great warrior just like his father and his fathers before him, and now he has decided to surprise him and do some sparring with him, but his happiness abruptly disappeared when a scream cut through the palm trees, his fathers scream. He ran, faster than he has ever run before, until going through the clearing he sees a young man running to his direction “Iwalani!” The young man looked up, his look of panic turning to relief, he began running faster until his legs were swept from out underneath him with shin splitting pain blooming and his body going face first into the sand, he didn’t have nearly enough time to register this before everything went black. “IWALANI!”.


He lifted his club up from what was left of the boys head and then brought it down with another swing, the old man was cut down easily enough but the boy was a fast little shit but him slowing down allowed him to catch up. “IWALANI!” The armoured warrior looked up to see another armoured warrior screaming in anguish reaching for his sling, the Tlingit held his shield and began moving towards the other man, and was then surprised as a pineapple sized stone sent his shield back into his helmeted face. Shaking it off he gazed at his shield to see a 3 inch tear in his Copper shield but was snapped back to reality with another (THRIP) followed by his entire world spinning to the ground after another stone clipped his helmet.

The Kiribati put down his Sling and picked up his Teunun, broiling with rage he charged Spear first at the downed man that was currently picking himself up. Upon reaching the now standing yet dazed man he thrusted the spear towards him, but the Tlingit still in his stupor brought his shield to bear breaking off a piece of the spear head. The Tlingit swung his shield to knock back the other man but the strike was dodged and was followed up with a swing of the Teunun to the helmet, sending him sprawling, besides having some of the weapons teeth still embedded in his helmet and having his shield removed from him the hardy man was relatively fine, standing up the Kiribati man lunged again with his spear only to have the Tlingit hastily step to the side and bring his Two Handed Club down on the spear in a overhead swing, shattering it beyond repair.

The Kiribati man leapt backwards avoiding another swing by a hairs width in front of his face, dodging a couple more swings before tiring of this back and forth, the Kiribati grabbed his Teronikiri and swung it at the club entangling it before ripping it and its user to ground. Scrabbling to his feet the Tlingit threw a punch at the other man only to have his arm grabbed and flung onto his back, after hitting the ground the Alaskan kicked back knocking the Polynesian back before making a run for the palm trees. Not wanting his sons death to go unavenged the Kiribati man picked himself back up while pulling out his Tembo and Tetoanea then gave chase.

After a minute of running through the palm trees the Kiribati stopped to gain a grip on things, turning around he looked in all directions to see his sons killer, he proceeded to search for another five minutes before he was knocked forward, regaining his balance he turned his head to see the point of an arrow head sticking out of his back board, then followed by another thunk and a shooting pain his back. Turning his body all the way around, he saw the Tlingit aiming a bow at him with another arrow drawn. Roaring in rage he charged at the armoured man, ether dodging the arrows or taking them while ignoring the pain as they embedded themselves into his armour and flesh. The Tlingit dropped his bow and proceed to draw his Sword and his Fighting Pick, reading himself for the fight.

The Kiribati struck first with a strike to the helmet with his Tembo and a strike to the chest with his Tetoanea, the Tlingit responded with a slash to the other mans chest and strike with the flat of the pick to the formerly fish helmet. Both swung and dodged, parried and struck, all while trying to gain an edge on the other, one fighting for vengeance and heart loss while the other fighting for the right to steal cool shit and slaves. The striking and dodging continued until the Kiribati man feigned a strike and proceeded to knock the Tlingit flat onto his as. The Kiribati then placed his foot onto the downed mans chest and held his Tetoanea directly over the visor of the mans helmet, readying himself to avenge his son, but that vengeance never found its way. The Kiribati man so caught up in his anger did not notice the Tlingit reach for his sword and jam the pommel blade into the mans unarmored foot.

Howling in pain for his now bifurcated foot he was pushed off the man and was thrown against palm tree. The Tlingit grabbed his Fighting Pick and with all his strength swung it horizontally into the mans chest punching through his armour. The Islanders eyes widened as he looked down at the weapon that currently had 14 inches inside him and slid down the tree onto the still wet ground as his life force ebbed out, once on the ground he weakly looked up as a shadow loomed over him and the last thing he saw was the Tlingit warrior stood over him with that ghoulish helmet. The man placed his hand on the Kiribati’s forehead as he dragged his sword across his throat, the last thing he thought about was his son as every thing went black.

Standing back the Tlingit looked at the fallen warrior with respect before belting out a victorious cheer and then walking away as the pain from all the hits started to come to him. Looking through the trees he could see a village off in the distance.

The other Tlingit were still waiting and looking around the hut, with some them starting to get worried about the missing warrior when their comrade came hobbling out of the palm trees with the Tembo and Tetoanea clutched in his hands, and the directions to a nearby village ripe for plunder.

Expert's Opinion[]

The Tlingit won via combination of superiour armour and weapons that could pierce the Kiribati's armour.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Spartan Hoplite (by Pygmy Hippo 2)[]

Carrizo Plain, California

A Hupa Tribe woman was picking acorns while she waited for her husband to return with the salmon he was hunting for. Unfortunately she heard him yell and saw a man in wooden armor break his spear with a copper shield before stabbing his stomach with a long blade. She screamed in horror and ran from the Tlingit but tripped and barely avoided a copper arrow hitting her leg.

The slave hunter drew his bow back again and firedbut this time he didn't miss, instead his arrow was blocked by a bronze shield. The Hupa woman took the opportunity to run away as the Spartan pulled out his javelin. The Tlingit was furious at his foe for letting his quarry escape but the phalanx soldier didn't care about the woman he saved, all he wanted was to kill this invader on his king's newly conquered lands.

The javelin was hurled with great force but was blocked by the Tináa shield and another arrow was fired but broke on the Aspis shield. Both armored warriors realized long range combat wasn't working and so drew their primary weapons, the Tlingit's double sword/dagger and the Spartan's Dory spear. The two circled each other for a couple seconds before the Greek stabbed forwards but it was blocked by the Tináa.

The Alaskan took advantage and attempted to cut through the spear's wooden shaft but was pushed backwards by the Aspis. The phalanx soldier stabbed at the slave hunter again with his Dory and this time he hit his mark, the iron tip punched through the hide and wood but was barely stopped from hitting skin by a coin. The Tlingit wasted no time in hacking the spear in two with the sword blade before stabbing the Spartan's chest with the dagger blade, it barely made it through the bronze cuirass and only made his foe bleed.

The Greek whacked the Alaskan's head with his Aspis, cracking and denting the wooden helmet, before shoving him back again, this time knocking him over. The phalanx soldier dropped what remained of the Dory and drew his Xiphos short sword as the slave hunter left his weapon and shield on the ground, pulling out his two-handed war club instead. The Alaskan got up and swung at the Greek's Aspis, causing no damage, but left himself open to a Xiphos stab.

This blow managed to get past the coins and cut deep into the Tlingit's innards, however the short sword wasn't easy to pull out and the Spartan had to take a blow in return. The two-handed war club smashed his weapon arm, breaking it, but the phalanx soldier smashed the hard wood blade with his Aspis, breaking it in two. Despite both armored warriors being in immense pain, neither showed any signs of it and just defiantly stared each other down as they walked back their primary weapons.

The Greek swung his Aspis at the Tináa and managed to not only get the Alaskan to drop it, he broke his arm as well. The Tlingit finally grunted in pain but still tried to cut the Spartan's throat but found that his foe was quicker than he was and lost that arm as well. Now defenseless, the slave hunter could only glare at the phalanx soldier as he dropped the Aspis and picked up what was left of his Dory before plunging it into his foe's throat, the wooden collar provided no protection against the iron tip.

As his foe topppled over, the Spartan left his other weapons in the Tlingit's body and held up his Aspis as he yelled in victory. "Sparta!"


Expert's Opinion[]

While both warriors were equally well trained and experience, their armor proved to be the deciding factor. The Tlingit had the advantage at long range but his wooden armor couldn't stop most of his opponent’s weapons. The Spartan's bronze armor however proved to be very effective and more maneuverable along with his better short and mid range weapons giving him a lethal edge. The final nail in the Tlingit's coffin was the legendary Spartan Aspis not only being made of better materials than the Tináa but also being able to be used as a weapon.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Viking (by Lunathemoon123)[]

No battle written.

Winner: Viking

Expert's Opinion[]

The Vikings had better armor and their weapons were better able to inflict damage on the Tlingit than the reverse. The Vikings also had greater operational experience.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.