Deadliest Fiction Wiki

I never expected a farewell like this.
— The Thief

The Thief (泥棒, Dorobō) is the protagonist of the song and music video Muteki no Soldier by Flaming June. She is a bandit who was taken in by a soldier who was reputed to be invincible after he wiped out her gang. She would later kill the Soldier in a duel, much to her own regret.

Presumably an orphan, the Thief was forced to join a gang in order to survive, and claimed many victims during her crime sprees. The gang leader, whom she referred to as the Boss, would often abuse her if she didn't give a large part of her loot. One day, the Soldier appeared in the gang's lair, effortlessly slaying everyone in his path save for the Thief, either taking pity on her or erroneously assuming her to be a hostage. Since then she travelled by his side as his apprentice. Originally, the Thief planned on learning everything she could from the Soldier before going off on her own, but slowly grew attached to him.

One day, the pair found themselves in a market town when the Thief spotted a merchant trying to sell a sword. When she stole it, the merchant tried to apprehend her, but was subsequently killed by the Thief within eyesight of the Soldier. She expected the Soldier to slay her the same way he did her gang, instead he challenged her to a duel so she could "open [her] own path". The Thief ultimately emerged as the victor and noticed that the Soldier hadn't used his dominant arm during their duel. Saddened, she wondered if things would have been better if they had met under different circumstances.

Battle vs. Arya Stark (TV Series) (by SPARTAN 119)[]

Along a road, somewhere in the Vale of Arryn, Westeros

Arya Stark walked along the lonely road leading the the port of Gulltown, where she would catch a ship, intending to travel to the Wall to meet her half-brother Jon Snow. At her side, Arya carried her sword, "Needle", as well as a dagger and a bag of coins taken from here now-dead captor turned traveling companion, Sandor "The Hound" Clegane.

From out of the woods, a figure appeared, a girl a little older than Arya, with strawberry blonde hair, wearing an odd outfit, a white shirt, a green cape, a pair of plate vambraces, but no other armor, and, most oddly to Arya's eyes, a pair of what a person from 21st century Earth would describe as "shorts" and stockings, but had never before seen in medieval Westeros.

"Fat sack of coin you've got there, Arya Stark", The Thief said in a foreign-sounding accent, though she had clearly been in Westeros long enough to understand the common tongue.

Arya's face displayed a look of surprise, how did this oddly-dressed smallfolk know her name? Arya said, "I don't know who you are talking about. I am not this Arya Stark person you are looking for.".

"Don't play dumb, the look of your face betrayed everything", The Thief said, "I'll be taking that sack of coin, and then I'll taking you to that knight lady, Brienne of Tarth. She seemed very interested in you, I suspect I could get a few Gold Dragons out of her in ransom."

Arya realized immediately the the thief must have been talking about that woman in armor with the Valyrian steel sword that killed the Hound. She must be working for the Lannisters.

Arya unsheathed Needle and held the rapier in front of her in an aggressive stance. She then thrust her sword at the Thief, who drew her sword and swung it downwards, parrying Arya's thrust.

Arya jumped backwards, out of the bind, only to be greeted by a wide horizontal swing from the left aimed at throat from the Thief's longsword. However, she managed to parry the the attack, swinging Needle to position. The longsword ground along the side of Needle, before being stopped by the ring-shaped sideguard. Holding her foe's sword in the bind, Arya drew the dagger she had taken from The Hound and thrust it forward.

The Thief raised her vambrace-clad wrist, parrying Arya's dagger strike, the dagger glancing off the steel armor. The thief then stepped backward and took downward swing at Arya, which she parried, along with a a second diagonal strike, rapidly moving Needle into position with a flick of her wrist.

The Thief then pulled her arm back, sword over her shoulder, as though about to thrust. Instead, however, she brought her arm around and made a powerful downward diagonal slash at Arya. Arya parried the strike, but the force of impact was such the grip was levered outwards forcing Arya's fingers open. Needle was knocked out of Arya's hand and send flying end-over end through the air, sticking point down in the ground several yards away.

Not one to give up, Arya picked up a stone from the ground and hurled it at the thief. She easily dodged and laughed. "Feel like giving up?", The Thief asked.

In the moments she took to dodge the rock, and then taunt Arya, the Thief had left herself open. Arya lunged at her with the Hound's dagger as she said "Valar morghulis"- "All men must die" in High Valyrian.

The Thief only just managed to raise her armored wrist in time to block the strike with the dagger, but Arya still hit her with the full force of the lunge, knocking the Thief on her back and causing her to drop her sword.

Arya thrust the Hound's dagger downward at Thief's heart, but the Thief raised her left wrist, and placed it in front of the blade. The point of the dagger only barely pierced the armor, little more than a pinprick. The held Arya's hand back as she drew her cinquedea with her left hand and slashed at Arya's neck.

Blood flowed out of the wound as Arya breathed her last, staining the Thief's white clothing. The thief pushed the body of her vanquished foe off of her.

"So much for the ransom", The Thief said as she stole the bag of coins Arya had. Then, the thief thought of something. She had not damaged Arya's clothes in the fight, and that Brienne had seen her only briefly, and with her cloak over her head. It wouldn't be that hard to don Arya's clothes, wear a cloak over her head to hide her appearance, and disguise herself as her victim. The she could cut that woman-knight's throat in her sleep and take that Valyrian steel blade. Then, it was only a decision, sell the sword for a king's ransom in gold, or keep the supernaturally sharp and durable sword for herself.

WINNER: The Thief

Expert's Opinion[]

I've killed off one of the most popular character in Game of Thrones, bring on the anon-rage! In any case, the Thief won this battle because of her superior weaponry, as well as her greater amount of combat experience, having spent years fighting, stealing, and killing. The Thief also had plate armor vambraces, which only covered a small amount of her body, but allowed her to use her wrist to block attacks.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.