| “ | How would you feel if someone called you a lunatic?
— The Postal Dude
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” |
The Postal Dude is the main protagonist of the Postal series. Postal Dude appears as calm and easy-going, but can be sociopathic and cynical when pushed to the edge. He often states he doesn't like video games after killing people, however, he is seen supporting them, since at one point he sets up a petition to "Make Whiney Congressmen Play Violent Video Games." He wears his trademark leather trench coat and sunglasses at all times, though he has the ability to change into various outfits that will affect how the people of Paradise view him and will affect the HUD with a unique design as well.
He lives in a shabby trailer in a small neighborhood with his pet Champ the dog and his unnamed and bitchy wife, who continuously gives him orders and forces him to do various errands. When the Postal Dude goes to the RWS headquarters on Monday, he is informed by Vince Desi that he is fired. This and a video game protest mob by the Parents for Decency began his second reign of terror.
Battle vs. The Antagonist (Hatred) (by Samurai Santa Claus)[]
TBW
Winner: Postal Dude
Expert's Opinion[]
TBW
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Lo Wang (by Samurai Santa Claus)[]
TBW
Expert's Opinion[]
TBW
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.
Battle vs. Duke Nukem (by Geekboy27)[]
The Postal Dude is out in Paradie City. He is looking at the list his wife gave him for the day.
"Let's see, pick up some milk, pickup the mail..." The Postal Dude read the list with a sound of anoyance in his voice.
He gets to the area where the Lucky Ganesh is and he sees a musclear man flexing next to the club. Postal Dude walks next to him and the Duke spits at his shoe.
The Duke grins. "Oh sorry man, thought that you were one of the monkey cleaners."
The Due, clearly annoyed retorts "If I am the monkey cleaner, does that make you one of those fucking nasty gimps?"
"Oh you will regret you said that!" The Duke yells. He then pulls out to Heckler MP5s. The Dude runs and takes cover.
"Show me your face!" The Duke yells.
Postal Dude pulls out an M16 and returns fire. He manages to hit Duke a few times in his legs.
"Ah Fuck!" Duke yells in pain. Duke realises he lost all of his ammo. He then pulls out his MossBerg. Postal Dude also ditches his M16 and pulls out his Spas-12. Duke fires and blows a chunk out of the Postal Dudes cover. Postal Dude runs into the store and takes cover.
"Move!" Postal Dude says as he shoves people aside. Duke hits Postal Dude, but it was not close enough to be lethal, but still the Postal Dude howls in pain. He falls over and sees a cat walk next to him. He picks the cat yp and shoves the cat on the barrel of his shotgun.
Duke looks at the gun, obviously confused. "What the hell?"
Postal Dude fires the cat at him which hits Duke in the face. The cat begins to claw in an enraged matter. Ammo from the shotgun also hit Duke in his gut. Duke grabs the cat and tosses him away. They both drop their shotguns and pulls out their pistols. At this point, every civilan taking cover, has began to retreat. This makes shooting eachtohter harder.
Duke fires rapidly, and manages to his Postal Dude three times. Postal Dude fires back, but hits a civilian in the process.
Duke drops his pistol and uses his fists. "Time to get up and personal!"
Duke punches Postal Dude in the face multiple times. Blood flies off Postal Dudes face. But he pulls out a police Baton and whacks duke with it. Duke is thown off guard and postal dude pulls out his shovel. And whacks duke very hard which makes duke hit the floor hard.
"Way to be a dick buddy." Says Postal Dude as he limps to the milk and goes to check it out. But Duke stands up and pulls out his grenade launcher. Postal Dude retreats and tosses a molatov. It only gives Duke a slight burn. Duke fires the grenade sends the Postal Dude flying over several shelves. Duke walks over to an injured Postal Dude who was hit close by the grenade and got shrapnel lodged into him.
Duke flips The Dude onto his back, who grinds his teeth in pain. Duke crouches next to him.
"You know, for a monkey cleaner, you do fight well." Duke grins. "And just because I'm nice, I'll take you to the hospital."
Duke takes Postal Dudes arm and helps him to the hospital.
"So what made you think of using fucking molotovs?" Duke asked in confuson.
"Their effective. And can be used for a trap." The Dude responds.
"Bullshit"
"And also, Spas-12s are for pussies"
Winner: Duke Nukem
Expert's Opinion[]
Duke has faced far worse than PD, and his weapons were far more reliable and battle trustowrther.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.