Deadliest Fiction Wiki

Men, what is our mission? Extermination! Not a single man spared! We have only one job to do: create a living hell!
— Tanya von Degurechaff

Tanya von Degurechaff is an Imperial Army officer known for her great magical prowess and brutal yet effective tactics despite her very young age. Originally a Japanese salaryman, the man that would become Tanya was murdered by one of the employees he fired and encountered a being claiming to God.

Unwilling to believe this claim, the salaryman labeled him 'Being X', whereupon he was reincarnated as an orphaned girl called Tanya Degurechaff in an otherworld which is similar to World War I Germany, with the major difference being the existence of magic. According to Being X, should she not die a natural death, her soul would leave the cycle of reincarnation and be sent to hell for her sins in her previous life.

It soon became apparent that Tanya had great magical potential, making her a prime target for the Empire's armed forces. Realizing that she be drafted anyway, Tanya volunteered and joined the army in the hoping to reach a high enough rank as fast as possible to remain far from the battlefield. But due to her effectiveness and high success rate, she was often kept on the front lines.

Battle vs. Iron Man (MCU) (by SPARTAN 119)[]

JSDF Fuji Training Ground

Since the various incidents involving superhumans, aliens, supervillains, and other such threats, the market for the anti-superhuman weaponry was booming. And the leading manufacturer of these weapons was Stark Industries. For this reason, Tony Stark was back in Japan again, in spite of the critical response to his last visit. At the moment, he was demonstrating a just such as weapon to prospective buyer, the Japan Self-Defense Forces, needed such weapons as that bald guy who could literally punch out Cthulhu can't be everywhere at once.

"Presenting the latest in Stark Industries weaponry, the Ex-Wife 2.0. This all-aspect missile carries a proprietary warhead effective against tanks, aircraft, bunkers, kaiju, Diclonius, Golden Douche Kings, those two Saiyans coming to Earth, and any other problem you might have to deal with.", Stark said to a General Shinya Kengun of the Japan Self-Defense Forces.

Suddenly, his explanation was interrupted by a report from an officer. There were reports of explosions on the Shibuya ward of Tokyo, along with the appearance of a group of flying humanoids.

"Dispatch any available units, including the weapons test helicopter. We'll test out this ekusu waifu thing with some live target practice!", Kengun ordered.

"Sir, are you sure that's a good idea?", the officer asked.

"Do it!", Kengun ordered.

As the JSDF general gave his orders, Tony Stark spoke into his cell phone. "JARVIS, bring me my suit, I'm not missing this action!".

Of its own accord, the Iron Man suit flew to Stark, before it split apart and formed itself around his body. Before anyone could stop him Iron man was streaking of after the JSDF helicopters.

30 minutes earlier, Shinjuku Ward, Tokyo

Tanya Degurechaff and four other Imperial Army mages flew over the skyscrapers of the Shinjuku Ward of Tokyo, confused as to how they got there. Only Tanya herself knew where they were.

"Am I back home... in Tokyo... This is Being X's doing, no doubt", Tanya thought, "Damn you Bei... Wait a minute, if I'm back home, that must mean he's here as well... Maybe this was blessing in disguise."

As she thought this, a dark look came over her face. "Serebryakova", Tanya said in her lispy voice to Viktoriya Ivanovna Serebryakova, a mage from that world's equivalent of tsarist Russia, who had fled the country when it fell to communism, and her immediate subordinate, "Hold position on top of that building and keep a low profile until I return. I have some... business... to attend to".

"Captain...", Viktoriya asked, but Tanya flew off from her squad before she could say anything.

Tanya flew away from the central skyscraper district, towards a low rise, landing on the balcony of the second floor. Tanya smashed the window with her rifle butt and burst into the apartment. Tanya's choice of apartment was not random. This was the home of the man she... well... actually he- Tanya was a man her past life- had fired on the last day of her past life, the man who pushed her past self onto the railroad tracks and killed her... err... him.

The occupant of the apartment burst out one of the side rooms to investigate the sound of the breaking window. Tanya recognized the occupant immediately. It was him, the man who killed her that day.

"What the hell...", the man asked as he stared at the home invader, who looked like a loli in a military uniform, armed with what looked like a real rifle and bayonet.

"Taro Sakamoto send his regards", Tanya said, her face forming a twisted smile.

The mans face showed a look of shock, this was impossible- the platform was so crowded that no one had seen him push that man onto the tracks, the police had ruled it an accident. And furthermore, he had never met this pint-sized cosplayer or whatever she was, and she definitely wasn't on the platform... How could she know, and furthermore, how did she know the name of the man he killed. Why would a middle manager be friends with such a strange person, was she his daughter or something? But that couldn't be... the girl wasn't Japanese. She looked foreign...

As these thoughts spiraled through his head, the man saw the strange girl charge forward with far greater speed than should be possible. Furthermore, she seemed to hover about 10 centimeters off the ground. The man's face changed from a look of shock to one of pure terror. Before he could say anything, he felt the girls rifle butt strike him and send him flying across the room.

With a scream of pain, the Tanya's victim slammed into wall. Tanya kept charging as her bayonet glowed blue. With a look of psychotic euphoria, Tanya repeatedly stabbed and slashed at her victim, hacking him to pieces. By the time she was finished, the man was reduced to a bloody mess.

"You see that!", Tanya yelled triumphantly, "You're next, Being X!"

As Tanya exited the destroyed apartment, a police car pulled up to the apartment complex, no doubt investigating the mysterious flying object that landed there. They would not be problem- she could fly away and escape, and if they fired, her shield would stop the bullets.

Upon seeing the blood-stained figure with the bayonet, one of the officers who had just exited the car drew his service revolver and yelled, "Police, drop the weapon!"

Before Tanya could to anything, the police car exploded in a flash of fire, killing both officers. Looking for the source of the explosion, and saw the rest of her squad hovering above, Wiess, one of the men in her squad holding his rifle as though he had just fired it.

"Damn it Weiss", Tanya yelled, "I told you to hold position and keep a low profile".

15 minutes later, somewhere in the greater Tokyo area

The JSDF had found Tanya and the squad faster than they had expected. A flight of three Cobra attack helicopters flew over the city, approaching the mages.

The pilot of one of the gunships heard the lock tone in his ear and reported into the radio, and reported. "I have a lock, request permission to engage".

"Roger, Hunter lead, you are cleared to engage target".

Hunter lead, the pilot of the helicopter that had previously been a test bed for the "Ex Wife 2.0." pulled the trigger yelling "Fox two". The pods, which resembled 70mm rocket pods, released the micro missiles, firing of three missiles. Each missile independently targetted one of the three flying humanoids and exploded in a flash of fire.

The missile slammed into the shields of three of Tanya's squadmates. All three of their magic shields were overwhelmed and the mages vaporized instantly. Stark's ekusu waifu had done it's job.

Tanya turned her Mondragon rifle on the source of the missiles, and yelled "Is that any way to welcome me back home!".

Tanya and Viktoriya both opened fire on the helicopters, blowing all three of them out of the sky before they could return fire, metal fragments rained from the sky, to join the remains of Weiss, Muller, and Klein, the three mages that were killed by the missiles.

"On Me!", Tanya ordered to Viktoriya, "Move!"

Tanya and Viktoriya flew out away at top speed, hoping to escape and hide out in the mountains. Thus far, this day had been a complete disaster. "That bastard 'Being X' is going to pay for this!", Tanya said to herself.

Tanya's thoughts were interupted when Viktoriya was struck by several missiles and killed instantly. Tanya turned around and saw not more helicopters, or any vehicle of the JSDF but... a character from an American comic!?

Regardless, he was going to pay. The psychopathic Tanya cared not for the lives of her comrades, but he would pay for this insult, first him and then Being X. Tanya lowered her Mondragon rifle and furiously charged at her target, a look of rage on her face.

Iron Man hovered in the air, standing firm against the flying loli. Tanya's bayonet glowed blue as she neared her target. She swung the blade in a wide swath, this would be enough to decapitate a man. When the stroke fell, however, it only left a scratch on the paint of the armor.

"You know", Iron Man replied, "I don't like hitting little girls, but you, I'll make an exception!". Iron Man placed the palm of his hand out towards Tanya and activating his repulsor beam.

Tanya's shield survived the impact, but was sent flying through the air. Tanya was launched a few hundred meters before she crashed into a billboard for the anime Re:Creators, unaware of the irony of being slammed into an ad for an anime about fictional characters coming to life while fighting what, as far as she was concerned, a character from an American comic.

Tanya's shield survived the impact, allowing her to get up and try to take aim at Iron Man. The armored military-industrial complex CEO evaded all of the shots, he was far faster than Tanya. As much as she hated it, she had to pray to "Being X" again.

"Oh Lord, grant me the strength to strike down my foe in thy name.", Tanya muttered in a bored voice. Amazingly, in spite of the insincerity of her prayer, it worked, she felt magic power course through her body. She was not flying faster than ever before, faster even than when she rode on those sound barrier-breaking "super V-1s".

As she flew far faster than she had ever flown before, Tanya unslung her MKMS submachine gun and took aim. In front of her, a magic sigil appeared, similar to the one when she shot down those bombers with guided bullets. Tanya fired off an entire magazine of magic bullets, enhanced with mix of explosive and armor-penetrating spells. A swarm of homing bullets blazed towards Iron Man, impacting in a flash of flame.

Iron Man was momentarily stunned by the impact, but soon recovered and flew out of the cloud of smoke. "JARVIS, damage report".

"Minor damage to the left repulsor unit", The AI replied.

"Nothing I can't handle", Stark replied.

As Tanya saw her target emerge from the explosion undamaged, she reloaded and focused as much magical energy into her next bullet as possible, before taking aim at Iron Man.

The magic round streaked towards Iron Man, before exploding in a massive fireball comparable that of a large fuel-air bomb. The blast wave demolished any buildings in the immediate vicinity, devastating at least a city block. Tanya laughed maniacally as she looked at the devastation below her- surely her foe was vaporized.

As she hovered over the devastation, blue-white beam of energy struck her in the shield. In the split second before the shield broke, she caught a glimpse of Iron Man, his suit battered but still functional, firing a massive particle beam from his chest. The attack shattered Tanya's magic shield. The beam's impact set off her orb in a massive explosion, which reduced the Devil of the Rhine to charred fragments.

"You still haven't won yet, Being X. When I see you next, I'll kill you!", were Tanya's last thoughts before everything went black.

WINNER: Iron Man

Expert's Opinion[]

Iron Man was able to answer Tanya's considerable firepower with his own arsenal of weapons, and his suit was durable to handle anything she threw at him. This, along with Stark's superior speed gave Iron Man the win.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here

Battle vs. Izetta and Rusalka Schwägelin (by SPARTAN 119)[]

Suwahara, Japan, 1994

Rusalka Schwagelin ducked and dodged, desperately attempting to dodge the hail of gunfire flying at her from the support towers of the Suwahara suspension bridge, thanks to a ritual conducted by those Doppeladler assassins, bullets no longer gave her "special treatment"- with armor of Die Ewigkeit gone, single well-placed round would be enough to put an end to the red witch's murder spree of over 300 years. Both Rusalka and her comrade, Wilhelm Ehrenberg were having to place all their concentration into dodging the bullets, while their third comrade, a man known as Rot Spinne- "The Red Spider", had much less difficulty in dodging the attacks. Spinne managed to evade the gunfire easily, looking as though he were in the middle of an elaborate dance routine, before at the same time unleashing the razor-sharp wire that was his "Ahnenerbe", sending it whipping through the air, slicing several of the assassins to pieces. The three soldiers of the Longinus Dreizen Orden were at least out of immediate danger...

Or so they though. For none of them realized that Rusalka was not the only witch in Suwahara tonight. Izetta, the White Witch of Eylstadt did not know where she was. She had been fighting the Germanians, only to have her power drained by that Germanian Witch, and soon after she thought she had been hit by a stray round... but instead of dying, she was transported to her present location. She was flying over the land on her rifle, flanked by her explosive lances, metal shields, and glide bombs floating at her side. Looking around at her surroundings, she realized day had turned into night, and she was flying over a city that looked nothing like anywhere in Eylstadt.

"Where... am I?", Izetta asked her self.

Her question as cut off by the familiar sound of gunfire. Diving down below the clouds, she muzzle flashes coming from a large suspension bridge over a river leading out to sea. The bridge was covered in corpse and burning car, and at he center of it were three people. Moving in closer, she saw one of them, a red-haired girl, summon chain and spikes from thin air, and use them to impale her enemies. One of the two men of the group threw invisible projectiles that seemed to impale his foes, while the third, a pale-looking man whipped across the bridge with what looked like a wire of red light, which slashed through multiple people at once.

Izetta did not know who these people were or what strange weapons they wielded, but she saw that they were all wearing Germanian uniforms, and that they seemed to wield some sort of magic like she did. They were the enemy, and she had to destroy them.

"Go Forth!", Izetta yelled. At once, the two glide bombs flying at her flanks dove towards the bridge. Rusalka saw the bomb fly in and jumped dozens of meters with her superhuman strength, getting out of the blast radius. Wilhelm and Spinne however, did not get away in time, and were engulfed in a flash of fire which vaporized their bodies, now unprotected by Die Ewigkeit.

Rusalka got up from the pavement on the other side of the bridge, realizing that she was largely unhurt, but covered in numerous scratches and scrapes from jumping on to the pavement. For the first time in 50 years, the red witch felt pain. Fighting through the now unfamiliar sensation of pain, the red witch got up. Flying towards her, she spotted a girl clad all in white, with red hair, though much shorter than her own, riding on what looked like a flying anti-tank rifle.

Rusalka evaded several shots from Izetta's rifle, the 20mm rounds blowing large holes into the pavement on the other, before getting up and turning to face the rival witch.

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"I'd be careful if I were you", Rusalka said to the rival witch, "Keep coming at me like that, and I might just... eat you alive..."

As Izetta dove at Rusalka as second time, an open iron maiden appeared floating in midair, just in front of her path. Izetta swerved to the right just in time, and the torture device instead snapped shut over one of Izetta's four metal shields, devouring along with one of her explosive lances.

As Izetta turned to make a second attack run on Rusalka, the red witch had disappeared...

As Izetta looked around, attempting to located her foe, she heard the sound of clanking chains. Dozens of chains tipped in spikes flew in from all directions and entangled the White Witch, pulling her down from her rifle and slamming her against the asphalt several meters below her. Miraculously, Izetta has not been seriously injured by the impact, but she was now bound against the side of a car.

Rusalka appeared out of a void of shadow right in front of her bound prey, and advanced forward licking her lips. As she did, Rusalka summoned tendrils of shadow from beneath her. The Voracious Shades of her Castle of Torture advanced out towards their prey, ready to claim add one more soul the bloody witch's nightmarish pocket dimension...

But they never got the chance. Rusalka never realized that, while Izetta was immobilized, her rifle was still very much under her control. The weapon flew in from the side and fired into Rusalka's torso from point blank range. Under most circumstances, Rusalka wouldn't have felt so much as a bee sting from this, however, with her mortality briefly restored, the 20mm round tore through her flesh, blasting her nearly in half in a red mist. As the dead husk of Rusalka Schwagelin hit the pavement, her chains binding her evaporated into nothingness. Rusalka's body too disintegrated, the fate of a fallen user of Die Ewigkeit.

But the White Witch's battle was not over tonight. From behind her, she heard the voice of another stranger in a strange world give a shout of "Damn you Being X!". Looking up, she saw a small blonde girl armed with a rifle flying through the air. She had to be another witch like her. While her uniform was different from the one she killed, she too wore the Iron Cross.

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Tanya Degurechaff did not know what was going on- it looked like she was back in her old world- the one from back when she was a Japanese businessman, and yet, there was an enemy mage coming flying right at her, riding on an anti-tank rifle like a witch rode a broomstick.

"More insects for me to stomp out, Being X?!", Tanya asked, "Bring it!"

As Izetta flew towards Tanya, she fired her anti-tank rifle. Tanya raised her shield just in time to block the 20mm rounds, which exploded against the field of magical energy. Tanya raised her Mondragon rifle and fired several magically enhanced bullets at Izetta. Fortunately for the White Witch, she managed managed to raise one of the large metal shields that flew alongside her, blocking all of the rounds.

After her initial burst of fire, Tanya flew in, sweeping left and right trying to get a shot past the shield, but Izetta was too quick for her. Failing that, Tanya flew forward, her bayonet glowing with magical energy. Tanya thrust past the massive steel shield, only for Izetta to suddenly sweep it to the right, the force knocking the Mondragon out of her hands, sending the rifle falling into depths of the river below. Izetta then struck Tanya with the telekinetically-controlled metal shield, the plate of steel as thick as tank armor sending the Imperial mage flying into one of the support towers of the bridge.

The White Witch of Eylstadt then launched five of her remaining explosive lances at the point where Tanya hit the bridge. The armor-piercing tips embedded themselves into the structure before detonating and collapsing the support tower. Izetta had vanquished the Devil of the Rhine...

Or so she thought. Suddenly, Izetta saw a great glow, like a new star in the sky. It was Tanya, having escaped to the explosion and flown upwards. A large magic circle appeared around her new gun, a SIG MKMS. Izetta flew upwards, preparing to attack, but it was too late. Tanya fired the weapon, sending a single bullet, which glowed with magic power towards her foe.

As the bullet neared Izetta, the round detonated in a massive ball of fire the annihilated what remained of the bridge after the battle, as well as everything else within a city block. The explosion instantly reduced Izetta to a blackened husk that collapsed into dust and fell to the ground.

As the fireball from her diffusive magic "fuel air bomb" dissipated below her, Tanya smiled darkly towards the heavens and said, "You're next, Being X! Come on down her and fight me, you coward!"

First Place: Tanya von Degurechaff

Second Place: Izetta

Third Place: Rusalka Schwagelin

Expert's Opinion[]

The experts noted that, without her superhuman durability, Rusalka struggled to evade gunfire even from a squad of normal infantry. Against the heavy explosives of Izetta and Tanya, this weakened form of her was left with weapons ill-suited to combat ranged and flying attackers, scoring her third place. Izetta, meanwhile, won against Rusalka, but could not stand up to the more versatile firepower of Tanya's magic bullets and the defense of her shield.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.