Deadliest Fiction Wiki

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Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.
— Extract from The Art Of War.

Sun Tzu or Sunzi, born Sun Wu, courtesy name Changqing, was an ancient Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher who is traditionally believed to be the author of The Art Of War, an influential and ancient Chinese book on military strategy. The book has been used by military leaders throughout history such as Napoleon Bonaparte and Kublai Khan.

Sun Tzu started working for King Helu of Win in approximately 510 BC. After writing The Art Of War he was given an audience with the king who challenged him to train the court concubines, offering him the command of the army. Sun Tzu explained the command for marching but when the drums sounded the women burst out laughing. This helped Sun Tzu to explain that if orders are not clear then the general is at fault and repeated his explanation only to have similar results. This helped him explain that if the orders are given but not followed then it is the fault of the officers. So he had the women's commanders, the kings favourite concubines, beheaded. After the two were executed and replaced the women obeyed the orders precisely. The king was reportedly too sickened by the deaths to watch the demonstrations but true to his word he gave Sun Tzu command of the army.

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Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.

Battle vs. Agamemnon (by KevlarNinja)

Near his tent in Ancient China, Agamemnon is preparing for to address his troops before battle. Just as he puts on his helmet, a flameing arrow lands on the dry grass, setting his tent on fire! Agamemnon picks up his weapons and runs away from the flames. Up ahead, he sees Sun Tzu, leader of the enemy army. Sun Tzu fires a round from his crossbow, which bounces off Agamenon's Hoplon, denting it. Agamemnon holds up his bow and fires an arrow at Sun Tzu, which snaps when it hits Sun Tzu's helmet. The two leaders charge at each other. Agamemnon tries to stab with his Dory, but Sun Tzu leaps out of the way. He pulls out his Dagger axe and stabs Agamemnon in the back of the leg. Agamemnon yells out in pain and then pulls out his Xiphos. He scrapes Sun Tzu on the arm, who proceeds to pull out his Jian. Agamemnon tries to stab Sun Tzu, but he keeps dodgeing the sword. Sun Tzu slashes Agamemnon on the arm. Agamemnon knocks down Sun Tzu with his Hoplon and then stabs him in the neck. Agamemnon raises his bloodly sword in the air and roars in victory. He then limps to the battle field, sure he is going to beat the now-leaderless army.

Winner: Agamemnon

Expert's Opinion

Please consider a contribution by writing an expert's opinion as to why Agamemnon won.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. Alexander the Great (by Wassboss)

Sun tzu is standing at the top of a hill with two of his men. They look around for any danger. Meanwhile right behind them Alexander and two of his men are loading up the ballista. When it is loaded up they fire the bolt. One of Sun tzu’s men hears the projectile and looks to see it heading straight for his superior. He pushes sun tzu out of the way and is hit by the bolt.(3-2)

Sun tzu and his other man turn around to see alexander standing there. He gives the order and he and both his men charge. Sun tzu’s man pulls out a flaming arrow and fires it into the dry bushes in front of alexander's men. They are driven back by the flames and sun tzu takes the opportunity to fire a volley of bolts at one of alexander’s men killing him. (2-2)

They then run down the hill towards their opponents. Alexander’s other man loads his gastraphetes and fires but he misses his target. He discards it for a xyston and sun tzu’s man pulls out his zhua. Alexander’s man looks at the zhua and laughs. While he is laughing sun tzu’s man knocks the spear out of his hands and brings the zhua down on his unprotected head crushing his skull.(1-2)

Meanwhile alexander pulls out his kopis and sun tzu pull out his jian and they start to duel. Alexander gets the upper hand and he knocks the jian out of sun tzu’s hand and is about to finish him off when sun tzu’s remaining man hits alexander on side of his head with the zhua. Fortunately for alexander his helmet protects him from the blow and he turns round and slashes the man’s throat and he falls in a crumpled heap on the floor. (1-1)

Sun tzu seeing his chance picks up his sword and plunges it into alexander’s back. Again alexander’s armour saves him from serious injury and he resumes the sword duel. This time however sun tzu manages to shatter alexander’s kopis with his jian. Now weapon less alexander runs away from sun tzu. Smiling sun tzu gives chase. Alexander suddenly falls over the xyston his man dropped earlier on in the battle. Sun tzu catches up with alexander and raises his sword above his head ready to finish him once and for all. Alexander turns around xyston in hand and plunges his spear all the way though sun tzu’s poorly protected chest impaling him.


Expert's Opinion

Alexander was victorious because he was more battle ready than sun tzu was and his armour protected him from sun tzu’s weapons long enough for him to finish him off.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. William Wallace (by Sport Shouting)

Wallace or Tzu? Lets rock and roll. As 4 Chinese soldiers train, Sun Tzu meditates. He sees a flurry of birds fly away and signals his troops to prepare. Wallace then leads 4 rebels and splits them up. One Scottish rebel fires an arrow at the meditating Tzu. Another soldier is hit accidentally and dies. Sun Tzu- 4. The men charge after the archer. Meanwhile behind them another rebel throws a ball and chain at one of Tzu's men and kills him. Sun Tzu- 3. Sun Tzu's men split up. 2 of his men charge after the killer. He draws his claymore and mid range weapons clash. The rebel fights well but his butchered by Sun Tzu's axe. Wallace- 4. The archer is being chased by Sun Tzu. He fires flaming arrows to trap him then draws his dagger to cut his head off. Wallace- 3. The rebels run in fear. Sun Tzu chases them with his men. They fire repeating crossbows at Wallace himself. But his men surround the crossbowman and beat him with war hammers. Sun Tzu- 2. The 2 remaining Chinese men split up. Tzu's last soldier draws his Jian. A rebel then jumps out with a targe and dirk. They fight but the Chinese man wins and kills the rebel. Wallace- 2. But Wallace comes from behind and fires an arrow into the soldier's neck. Sun Tzu- 1. Wallace's last soldier finds Sun Tzu. Tzu throws his dagger at the rebel and hits his leg to disable him. Tzu then fires an arrow into his leg to increase the pain. The Wallace bites Tzu and Tzu bleeds. They draw swords. Wallace loses his left pinky in the clash and Sun Tzu pins Wallace down. "You ready to die?" asks Tzu"Are you?" replies Wallace Then, Wallace's wounded soldier pulls out the arrow and throws it at Tzu and then stabs him with the now removed dagger. Sun Tzu-0 "Thanks" Wallace says assisting his paralyzed man to safety"Any time boss" replies the wounded man.


Expert's Opinion

Please consider a contribution by writing an expert's opinion as to why William Wallace won.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. Crazy Horse (by Wassboss)

Sun Tzu and his men have landed in America and have set up camp. Sun tzu himself has taken 3 of his men out on a scouting party to look around the surroundings so they have a rough idea for a battle plan, should a battle happen. He knows that there are native’s here, a tribe called the Sioux. Sun Tzu has heard of the leader and knows he will not stand for an invasion but he knows that he must not give up.

Sun Tzu and his men have found themselves on a wide open plain which could stretch for miles on end. Sun Tzu knows if a full on battle is to be held this is where he wants it to be. Suddenly sun tzu hears a whooping sound in the distance. He peers into the distance, the sun obscuring his vision. He can just about make out 4 figures, on horseback, heading right for him and his men. Sun tzu tells his men to split into two groups, him and one man on the left and the other two on the right.

Chief crazy horse charges across the battleground, his men closely behind him. He orders his men to take out there bows and they obey, notching an arrow ready to fire. Sun tzu has also formulated a plan. He tells his men too pull out there repeating crossbow’s and be ready to fire on his mark. He is hoping that when Crazy horse and his men ride past he and his men will be able to riddle them with arrows.

Crazy horse waits till he is 30 feet away from his enemy before telling his men too fire. They all fire almost perfectly insigne. However sun tzu and his men move out of the trajectory of the arrows. Now that Crazy horse is in range he orders his men to fire and they do so managing to kill one of the Sioux and leaving another without a horse. (3-4)

Crazy horse and the other man on horseback circle round and try another charge. This time they are more successful and manage to hit one of Sun tzu’s men in the jugular with an arrow. (3-3)

Meanwhile the Sioux on foot takes out a spear and thrusts it forward, narrowly missing sun tzu’s chest. He draws his sword but another of his men has already engaged the American in a duel. Sun Tzu notices crazy horse and the other horseman are circling round, ready for another charge. He gets an idea and turns to tell one of his men. The both pull out a bow and set the arrow heads on fire. They then fire at the bare ground in front of the two men’s horses. There horse rear up and sun tzu loads up a regular arrow and fires hitting the horseman in the chest, killing him. (2-3)

Seeing that another charge will be futile, crazy horse dismounts his horse and runs to help his man in battle. The man in question has just killed the man he was duelling with, with a quick stab to the chest. (2-2)

Sun tzu sees this and draws his sword. He swings it and slices the spear in two, leaving the Sioux warrior weapon less. He then swings the sword in an overhead swing, decapitating the unfortunate American. (2-1)

Meanwhile Crazy horse takes out his war axe and heads for sun tzu but Sun tzu’s last man steps in the way, Zhua in hand. He swings it at the Sioux chief who ducks under it and hack’s at his legs. The zhua wielder falls to the ground, bleeding profoundly from his legs. Crazy horse brings the axe down on his head and ends his suffering. (1-1)

Crazy horse and Sun Tzu face each other, passion in both their eyes, one fighting for conquest the other to protect his people. They stand for almost an eternity, waiting for the other to attack. Crazy horse makes the first move and swings his axe but sun tzu parries with his sword. Sun tzu slashes Crazy horse’s arm, leaving a shallow cut.

The Sioux Chief is not deterred and tries to strike sun tzu with the axe but sun tzu uses his sword to separate the axe head from the handle. Crazy horse discards the now useless axe and takes out a couple of knives and throws them, hitting the Chinese strategist in both shoulders. Sun tzu drops his sword and falls to his knees, his eyes shut, gritting his teeth.

The Sioux Chief takes this opportunity and pulls out another knife. With a quick thrust the Chinese strategist falls, never to stand again. Chief crazy horse yells in victory and gose to tell his people of his victory.

Winner Chief Crazy Horse

Expert's Opinion

Chief Crazy horse won because he was on horseback making him harder to hit and because his archery took out Sun tzu before he could get anywhere near him.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. Miyamoto Musashi (by Lt.Chard)

Sun-Tzu arrives on a small wooded island in a boat, picking up his crossbow and dagger-axe he heads out.

Walking down a path he see's Musashi sitting down with his back to him. Making sure to be quite he takes out his fire arrow and fires it at the unsuspecting warrior, or so he thinks.

Musashi rolls out of the way, matchlock in hand and fires it at the general. It misses him, but takes the top of his helmet off. Starteld he pakes out his repating crossbow, firing bolt after bolt, but are easily knocked away with the rifle.

While Sun-Tzu reloads Musahsi takes his own bow and fires an arrow, hitting the crossbow, splitting the cartrige.

Musashi then takes up his Yari and charges. Sun-Tzu rakes off into the woods, fleeing from the Samurai. Mushashi isn't far behind and chases him into the woods. As he enters he can't find the general. Looking around he can't find him. Then looking forward and up he see's the General has worked his way into the tree's infront of him with another flaming arrow. He fires it Musashi dodges again but it sets the forest a blaze, it wasn't ment to hit him. Seeing fire spread he runs for it in the only direction not covered in fire, towards Sun-Tzu.

Now with the Samurai running towards him, Sun-Tzu loads another arrow and takes aim. Musashi seeing this picks up a rock and thorws it at the General. It misses but it's enough to knock him off balance an out of the tree. Musashi just keeps running towards the water, there's not enough time to deal with Sun-Tzu now in the fire.

Slightly dazed Sun-Tzu get's up, the fire is now spearding faster than expected, picking up his Dagger-axe he runs down the same path as Musashi, but the Samurai has a head start and the fire is now on his sides and starting to spread in front of him. With one last sprint he he jumps threw a wall of fire abd hits the ground.

Coughing he looks up to see Musashi standing infront of him, spear at the ready. Looking around for his Dagger-axe he see's it's landed at Musashi's feet. Musashi picks up the weapon. Sun-Tzu places his hand on his sword ready to attack.

Musashi then throws it to Sun-Tzu, who catches it with a confused look at first then nods. They noe point there weapons at each other, Sun-Tzu making quick false jabs trying to make Musashi flinch, but he is unmoving. Musashi then makes as fast overhand thrust at Sun-Tzu who deflects it but is quickly kicked in the chest.

Stumbeling back, he chops at the shaft of the Yari, spliting it. Now he trying a stab, but Musashi qucikly draws his Katana and in two quick movments deflects it and severs the head.

Sun-Tzu draws his Jian and charges but Musashi is a far superior sword man and manages to knock the Gernal into the mud near the water. Getting up he turns to see a charging Musashi. Grabbing a handful of mud he throws it into his face, temperaily blinding the Samurai. Rsuhing forward he tries to stab Musashi, but Musashi drops his sword and grabs the general and throws his to the ground but he quckily gets back up.

Musashi has just gotten the mud out of his eyes and see's the general coming towards him. Not panicing he draws his Wakizashi and throws it into the general. Stopping dead from the shock from the unexpected attack he drops to his knees hands on the short sword.

Musashi walks over to Sun-Tzu's boat and takes and oar from it and advances towards the fallen genral. Stumbeling to his feet Sun-Tzu trys to run but is struck on the back. Shouting in pain Sun-Tzu rolls onto his side, and is quickly silenced by another trick from the oar. Taking his Wakizashi out of his dead oppoenet and picking up his Katana he get's into the boat and pushes off. Looking back he takes one last look at burining island and the dead general.

Winner: Miyamoto Musashi

Expert's Opinion

Please consider a contribution by writing an expert's opinion as to why Miyamoto Musashi won.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. Suleiman the Magnificent (by Goddess of Despair)

Suleiman the Magnificent Red.png Red.png Red.png Red.png Sun Tzu Blue.png Blue.png Blue.png Blue.png

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”

Suleiman reads out loud to himself as he surveys a map of the area. He knew his opponent: the philosopher, Sun Tzu. He continued to look through his opponent’s book-The Art of War-till he reaches the chapter “Attack by fire.” An idea forms inside Suleiman’s head, and a smile across his face.

“The proper season is when the weather is very dry.”

Suleiman looks back at his map, noticing the enemy camp’s position being near a wheat field. Slowly, he rises from his seat and leaves his tent to ready his troops. He hands a halberd to one soldier, whilst his two archers readied arrows. They slowly march towards Sun Tzu’s camp. Oddly, only one Chinese soldier was outside of his tent, dousing his crossbow bolts in poison.

Sensing something wrong, Suleiman turned to stop his men’s advance, just as a crossbowman and spearman emerged from the nearby bushes. The crossbowman opened fire, delivering three bolts to an Ottoman bowman. Red.png

Suleiman’s second archer fired an arrow at the crossbowman, bringing him down. The Chinese spearman rushed forward, but an Ottoman wielding a halberd was faster and thrusted it into the man’s stomach. Blue.png Blue.png

The final Chinese crossbowman attempted to fire his weapon; however none of the bolts were able to penetrate the Ottoman’s chainmail. Suleiman looks to his archer, who fires two arrows into the crossbowman. Blue.png

All that was left was to confront Sun Tzu himself, which Suleiman was most eager for. As he approached the camp, he sent ahead his two soldiers to capture the now alone general. Sun Tzu didn’t put up a fight, and was dragged out to meet Suleiman face-to-face. Suleiman brought his yatagan to Sun Tzu’s throat, and started to think back to what he read.

“I see you enjoy literature.” Sun Tzu said raising his head slightly, his face focused on the book at his captor’s side with a smile creeping across his face. “My knowledge of war has reached foreign lands and ears. Do as you want with me for you may end my life, but you won’t destroy my ideals.”

Lowering his yatagan, Suleiman said “I do not intend to. Perhaps you could put your ideals to use for another warrior."

The Ottomans holding Sun Tzu down released him. Slowly, the philosopher rose to his feet. Sun Tzu unsheathed his Jian and offered it to Suleiman respectfully. Suleiman accepted the gift happily, and putting an arm on Sun Tzu's shoulder said "Welcome noble philosopher, to the side of the Ottoman Empire."

Expert's Opinion

Sun Tzu's losing streak was not going to end in this battle. Whilst being a great philosopher, Sun Tzu's inexperience in actual combat and inferior weapons/armor lead him to a yet another defeat.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. William the Conqueror (by BattleGames1)

No battle written unfortunately

Expert's Opinion

Sun Tzu's losing streak continues here as William's weapons and armour proved to be far superior to most of the Chinese general's arsenal such as the Composite Crossbow which offered William's men greater range than the Chu-Ko-Nu; add to that William's greater experience as a combat-oriented general and the Conqueror claims easy victory. If you think this battle is unfair in any way, shape or form, you can go ahead and do a rematch if you wish.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. Genghis Khan (by Deathblade 100)

Genghis: Red.pngRed.pngRed.pngRed.pngRed.pngRed.png

Sun Tzu: Blue.pngBlue.pngBlue.pngBlue.pngBlue.pngBlue.png

The sound of hooves filled the air as Genghis Khan and five of his Mongolian horsemen ride ahead of the horde that had already conquered large tracts of land. In a valley, Sun Tzu and five Wu Dynasty soldiers prepare for the coming Mongol invasion. As the Chinese general pours himself a cup of tea as he observed a map, a Chinese soldier yells a warning as a volley of arrows whistled out of the air and struck the soldier in the neck and chest.Blue.png

The remaining Chinese soldiers grabbed their repeating crossbows, Zhua polearms and Ge Dagger Axes. One Chinese soldier fired his repeating crossbow, hitting a Mongol's horse. The enraged Mongol nocked an arrow to his bow and shot the Chinese soldier in the chest.Blue.png Seconds after that, a volley of poisoned crossbow bolts lodged themselves in the Mongolian's neck.Red.png

Genghis gestured with his Turko-Mongolian Sabre, as a Mongol with a Jida Lance charged downhill and impaled a Chinese footsoldier.Blue.png A Chinese soldier swing his Zhua into a Mongolian, pulling him from his horse. The Chinese soldier then dispatches the horseman with a strike to the face from the Zhua.Red.png Genghis rides up to the Chinese soldier and cuts his Carotid Artery with his sabre.Blue.png

The last Chinese soldier swings his Dagger-Axe at an attacking Mongol horseman, dismounting him. Sun Tzu thrust down at the winded horseman with his Jian, hitting the heart.Red.png A strike from a Mongol's mace took out the remaining soldier.Blue.png Sun Tzu turns around only for a strike from Genghis' sabre to go through the strategist's neck.Blue.png

Genghis raised his sabre and yelled "For the Empire!" in victory as the Mongolian army poured down the hills into the valley below eager to start their conquest.

Expert's Opinion

Genghis won due to his better armour and weapons. While Sun Tzu had interesting tactics, his lack of experience led to him not being able to break his losing streak anytime soon.To see the original battle, votes and weapons, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. Hattori Hanzo (by MilenHD)

The starts in a Chinese town near night time,Sun Tzu and 4 of his Wu soldiers are returning from battle.Not far away Hattori and 4 of his ninjas are coming to assassinate Sun Tzu for the safety of Medieval Japan.It was nearly night time and Hanzo and his ninjas sneak upon the streets,but seeing that the Chinese general is not alone,1 of the ninjas threw a shuriken at him,bouncing of his helmet.The shuriken alert the Chinese general and his soldiers.Turning against the ninjas,they spammed a whole lot of poison bolts at the ninjas,one of them shot 1 ninja in the neck killing him.

Sun Tzu:12345


Than,Sun Tzu and his Wu soldiers charge at the ninjas,but in the next moment one of the of the Wu soldiers was impaled by a yari pike.

Sun Tzu:1234


In the next moment,Sun Tzu swung his zhua,smacking one of the ninjas in the head,killing him.But in the next moment a ninja swung his kusarigama ball end,tripping the Wu warrior legs and hacked his neck with the sickle.

Sun Tzu:123


This moment Hanzo gave an order to his ninjas to climb the roof and to jump and stab them all with their wakizashis,but when the ninjas start climbing,but the second was too late and his back got pierced by a ge halberd.

Sun Tzu:123


But then Hattori jumped and slashed with his wakizashi the neck of the ge wielder and his head rolled off,but in the same moment a Wu warrior stab with his jian the last ninja,while Sun Tzu was charging at Hanzo with his Ge halberd.

Sun Tzu:12


Seeing he is alone,Hattori rushed at Sun Tzu and cutted his Ge in half,but Sun Tzu pulled out his jian and tried to stab Hanzo,but he jumped away.In the next moment Hanzo turned and stab the Wu warrior who was charging at him and turning he threw a black egg at Sun Tzu,blinding him.And than Hattori stabbed Sun Tzu and Sun Tzu lifeless body falled.

Sun Tzu:


Seeing there is nobody left around,Hanzo cleared his wakizashi and went back for Japan.

Expert's Opinion

Sun Tzu losing streak is continiung!The reason why Hanzo won is because he had better material for weapons(Steel vs Iron) and his kusarigama,wakizashi and yari were the most effective weapons in the sim,while Sun Tzu had an advantage with armor and with his crossbow,he was simply outclassed by Hanzo's technology.

To see the original, battle, votes and weapons, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.

Battle vs. Hongi Hika (by Kazanshin)

An immense colosseum, filled with rocks and trees, has its seats filled with the anxious crowd. At the top, in the seat of the Caesar, sits Wassboss, ruler and overseer of this realm. As he lifts his arm, Kazanshin snaps his finger. The screen suddenly goes from a colosseum to an open grassy plain.

A group of maori warriors, lead by their chief, Hongi Hika, walk across the grassland. Just moments ago, they were mourning the death of one of their tribesmen who they had found dead with his face smashed in. Now, before they could realized what happened, they found themselves here. Hongi encourages his scared warriors to keep moving forward and try to find something which would give the, a clue of where they are.

Nearby, a group of equally surprised Chinese soldiers walk across the plains, led by military philosopher Sun Tzu. Just when they had thought this same Sun Tzu had been killed by a bizarre man in bronze armor, they found themselves here, with master Sun alive and well. Sun Tzu looks around and urges his men to advance and look for any signs of civilization.

One of the Chinese soldiers squints his eyes, seeing something in the horizon. He starts carefully walking towards his discovery, until he realizes what he was seeing was another group of men. Large, buff men, carrying fearsome weapons he had never seen before. He accidentally lets out a yell of surprise, which alerts both his friends and the Maoris. One of the cannibal points his musket at the stranger and fires. Because of the musket’s terrible accuracy, the shot misses, but the Chinese are all startled and start running in all direction, with only Sun Tzu himself hilariously running back and forth, yelling at his men to keep their calm. Another Maori fires, missing yet again, as the cannibals without the luxury of having a firearm charge at the scattered Chinese.

Sun Tzu recalls his men and runs away. The Chinese then group up and Sun Tzu starts explaining his plan to his men. As the Maori start closing in, one of the Chinese points at them and screams, then turns around and starts running away. The other Chinese soldiers also start running away while screaming, leaving poor Sun Tzu alone, yelling at them to come back, in front of the cannibals. The philosopher faces the oncoming squad of muscular men for a brief moment, before turning around and running away. The Maori give chase to the old man, who runs as fast as his legs can carry him. One of the polynesians points his musket at the running philosopher and fires. Sun Tzu collapses on the ground, grunting and yelling. The cannibals, led by Hongi, close in on the elder sage, who yells and screams as if his life depends on it.

Keyword “as if”.

“射击! (Fire!)”

As Sun Tzu yells this word, the four other Chinese soldiers, who had positioned themselves in a circle and on their stomachs so that the Maoris, too concentrated on Sun Tzu, wouldn’t notice them. The soldiers start firing their repeating crossbows at the Maoris, killing two of them in the volley and injuring one in the leg while master Sun escapes in the confusion.

Hongi Hika: 3

Hongi picks up the musket of one of his dead men and furiously fires it at a Chinese. This time, the shot reaches its target. The soldier drops dead, with a hole in his forehead.

Sun Tzu: 4

The fallen man’s allies look in awe at their dead comrade. What happened? Why did the man die? What killed him? As the Chinese are stunned, the Maori briefly dance the haka, which the Asians are equally surprised and horrified to see, and charge at the frightened men. One of the maoris quickly stabs a frozen Chinese through the chest with his taiaha, which he then swings at another soldier, who narrowly ducks and takes out his bishou dagger. He slashes at the Maori’s thigh before the cannibal can turn around. The polynesian grunts and bashes the Asian in the face with the bludgeoning end of the taiaha, then stabs the downed Chinese in the face.

Sun Tzu: 2

Hongi Hika charges at Sun Tzu himself, who draws his jian and blocks a taiaha swing of the chieftain, who then attempts to trip the philosopher with the other end of the spear. The Chinese responds by jumping over the swing and stabbing a bishou in the chief’s shoulder, making him yell in pain. The old man calls his remaining man and starts running away once again. Hongi attempts to give chase, but turns around to see his injured man on the ground, holding his chest in agony, with the crossbow bolt’s poison taking effect. Hongi and the other warrior run to his sides, and promise him to kill the man who did this to him. The fainting warrior gives one last smile, before losing consciousness and closing his eyes forever.

Hongi Hika: 2

The Polynesians start running in the direction the Chinese went, and spot the two men crouched, seemingly talking about their next plans. The two New Zealand natives charge and smash the Asians in their nape.... only to realize they were dummies. The warrior following Hongi Hika is then smashed in the head from behind with a zhua by Sun’s soldier as the philosopher laughs and fires his crossbow. However, Hongi quickly smashes his foe’s face with a mere and uses the dead body as a meat shield to deflect the volley of bolts.

Sun Tzu: 1

Hongi Hika: 1

As Sun starts reloading his weapon, the chieftain throws his club at it, breaking the wooden crossbow in half. The cannibal then closes in, Toki Kaka Poto in hand, and swings it down. Sun Tzu draws his jian and blocks the swing, then counterattacks with a thrust, which the Polynesian dodges by sidestepping. Sun swings his blade a few more times, with Hongi dodges by backstepping, until he locks the sword between the blade and the shaft of his axe and parries it. Sun Tzu is thrown off balance, but recovers fast enough to block a strike from the Toki. Sun slashes at Hongi’s leg, making him yell and kneel in pain. As the Maori half-collapses, the philosopher tries his chance by attempting to stab through his enemy’s throat, but yet again his plan is foiled by the chieftain deflecting the blow with his axe. Sun Tzu, seeing that this isn’t getting him anywhere, turns his back and starts retreating to establish a new plan. Hongi Hika gets back up and throws his axe, but with Sun Tzu already at a distance, misses.

Sun Tzu, after running out of the cannibal’s sight, catches his breath and starts thinking of a new plan. That’s when the polynesian catches up, faster than the Chinese expected. Hongi, now having retrieved a taiaha, swings the sharp end of the club at the military tactician, who backsteps just in time to avoid getting sliced. The polynesian then thrusts three times at the philosopher, who manages to avoid all attacks, until Hongi feints a thrust and bashes Sun in the jaw with the blunt end of the taiaha. Sun Tzu, knocked on his back, has no time to react as Hongi Hika moves in and gives him an “honorable death” by smashing his skull with his mere. Sun Tzu, with his head smashed into much, collapses once again, as Hongi stands up and gives out a war cry. Meanwhile, a shadow stalks the two in the darkness, with a tiny bladed projectile in his hand.

Winner: Hongi Hika

Expert's Opinion

In this very close battle between two losers of the wiki, it’s the Maori tribe and Hongi Hika who finally earn a victory, mostly thanks to the psychological factor that the musket gave them and the fact that, even with all the fancy weapons he had, Sun Tzu was not a battlefield fighter, but instead a military philosopher.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle has been disregarded because Sun Tzu has been disqualified as a warrior.