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I do have a job! I protect humanity from magic and monsters and stuff!
— Steven Universe

Steven Quartz Universe is the main protagonist of the cartoon series Steven Universe. He is the youngest member of the Crystal Gems, and being the son of former rockstar Greg Universe and Gem rebel leader Rose Quartz, the only half-gem half-human hybrid to have ever existed. With a 'magical destiny' to take the place of Rose Quartz and fight off threats to the earth from the various Corrupt Gems and from the Gems of homeworld, Steven has an enormous undertaking ahead of him as the show follows his journey to grow into or away from the role the Gems have made for him.

Steven is best described by Pearl, "sweet and considerate and only occasionally obnoxious", his mainly defensive powers complimenting his pacifistic nature. While he has no trouble defending himself against large Gem monsters, he has enormous trouble attacking other gems and entirely avoids fighting other humans, always looking for a way to end a fight without anyone getting hurt. While Steven has helped and even saved the Gem from great troubles at times, he is still a kid at heart.

Battle vs. Maxwell Puckett and Isaac O'Connor alongside Connie Maheswaran (by Dargoo Faust)[]

Chapter 1: Feild Trip to Beach City[]

Club


"Since when did the school even have the budget for a feild trip?"

The Activity Club was having a slow day. Max didn't really know if spirits took vacations, but it seemed like every violent one in a city where you could look out the window and spot a flying slug-thing decided to off it for a week and throw a birthday party. All he'd been hearing about from Mr. Spender, however, was a bunch of paranormal activity happening in some shanty-town across the country.

Mr. Spender looked like he was running his train of thought with a little too much steam for a second, before going on another hour-long explanation. "It's coming out of my own wallet, Max. It turns out Mayview isn't the only town where spirits seem to be running rampant, and trust me, we don't want another Mayview. I've arranged for Dr. Zarei's spirit train to take us outside of the barrier after seeing some suspicious activity on a local blog".

Isaac chimed in. "You're telling me you stumbled on some kid's conspiracy journal and suddenly, BOOM, we have an infestation of spirits?"

Spender arched an eyebrow. "I'm telling you this after seeing real news comment on the place as well. Granted, the blog wasn't that reliable."

While Max couldn't really make it out, he noticed Spender slightly turn towards a stuffed mail package in the corner of the room, messily labeled with "TO MY FIRST FOLLOWER" and "WITH LOVE, RONALDO FRYMAN (keep beach city weird)". He didn't think twice about it.


Spender continued on his lecture. "Our job is to fight off the spirits that threaten us and the city, and we aren't exactly the "ghost police" in spite of Edward's ghostbuster cosplay plans". Ed dropped a pack of uniforms he was working on with a wide grin before going back to pretending to listen. "But we need all hands on deck with this case. Giant hands falling out of the sky, monster sightings undoubtedly from other spectrals, and reports on a group of spectrals called the 'Crystal Gems'.

Isabel seemed to be the only one taking this seriously or knowing what was going on. "So we drop in this town, look around for spectrals, pull them out before they off themselves, and punch some nasties?" She grinned. "And here was I thinking I had to check back in the dojo for training."

While Isabel was excited for more action, Spender noticed that Max wasn't looking too excited to get into more life-threatening situations. "Well, it might not all be club business. Did I mention that the town is called 'Beach City'?"

Ed seemed to actually register that comment, before pulling out of swimshorts from... somewhere... and yelling "SWIMSUIT SPECIAL TIME!"

Everyone kind of stared ad Ed for a second, before Isaac face palmed. "Dude, most of us don't have swimsuits. We haven't even swam since that spirit decided it wanted to pretend to be the Loch-Ness Monster". Somewhere outside of the window, the club noticed a rather menacing spirit in the shape of a piece of wood glaring at them from the lake.

"Does that mean we get to go skinny-dipping?"

Chapter 2: The Ghost Gem[]

"Whaaaaaat? A mission?!"

Steven was beaming at Garnet, who maintained a stoic impression in spite of the living mass of cuteness in front of her.

"Ah-hem. What the Steven means to say is that finishing my-" Pearl shot a glare. "-our drill is much more important." Peridot kept a confident stance despite being only slightly taller than the smallest gem there. "Surely the emergence of the Cluster is more important than a town full of humans."

"An unknown gem has been terrorizing Beach City in our absense. The Drill will wait."

"Yeah, all of this barn junk is making me homesick."

Pearl looked annoyed. "Amethyst, you live in junk."

Garent stepped in before Amethyst began to explain the value of junk. "Greg called saying a ghost was haunting the city, and that people were missing. We'll head back immediatly. Peridot, you handle the drill while we investigate".

Peridot groaned. "Sure, leave all the heavy work to the superior gem. Not like it will make a difference".

Steven went wide-eyed. "A ghost? Maybe it's like that gem me and Sadie poofed on the island!"

"What?"

"Oh-oh! I'll call Connie! She always wanted to go ghost hunting after seeing the Dog Copter Halloween Special!".

Pearl smiled before proceeding to begin a lecture. "Steven, please. Ghosts are a fabrication of human superstition based on a fear of the unknown. It's far more simple than that. This 'paranormal activity' is probably the projection of some shattered gem's form too weak to see, looking for its other peices".

"What she said," droned Peridot, back facing a drill part she was working on.

"Yeah, Steven, like a Gem ghost! OoOoOooo!" Amethyst blurted out, shapeshifting into a sheet ghost right next to Steven.

"AHHH! I ain't afraid of no ghosts!" Steven said, jumping back while scared out of his mind.

Amethyst rolled onto the grass laughing, while a van rolled into the dirt road of the barn. Greg jumped out the door, with a vacuum cleaner in his hand and a huge goofy smile on his face.

"Hey, Shtoo-Ball! You ready to bust some ghosts?"

Chapter 3: Swimsuit Special without the Swimsuits[]

"I'm never getting on another plane in my life."

Isabel and Ed were too busy jumping from shop to shop to really care that Max was about to puke into the nearest passerby's purse. Isaac reeled in plastic bag from the street by calling a short gust of air, and passed it over to him.

"What happens in Empire City never sleeps, huh?" Spender was busy browsing through a road map, and failing to call over every cab on the streets. "I swear, the drivers here have to be unconcious."

After around three violent sessions of vomiting, Max came around. "I'm going to pass out myself if my butt doesn't find the nearest hotel bed."

TBC

WINNER: STEVEN AND CONNIE

Expert's Opinion[]

While Steven's pacifistic nature would hinder him from entering pure combat, experts agreed that Isaac and Max had no real method to break through Steven's impenetrable defenses, and lacked the coordination and teamwork that Connie provided for him.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

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