Deadliest Fiction Wiki
This may not be the page you're looking for. Please see Pirates (disambiguation) for other pages about a character or group known as Pirates.

For the masses of unemployed and resentful local youth, piracy was a quick way to achieve the respect and standard of living that the circumstances of their birth had denied them.
— Jay Bahadur, The Pirates of Somalia: Inside Their Hidden World

Somalia is famous for being one of the poorest nations on Earth, a desert nation with constant famines and poverty. The Gulf of Aden is an important location for trading vessels as it allows trade between the Indian Ocean and Mediterranean Sea. The ships created overfishing, which made the fishermen of Somalia starve and attack these ships in revenge.

From 1986 to today, Somalia has been under a constant civil war, starting with the Somali Revolution. The nation divided by rebel armies, these terrorists began committing piracy in the Gulf of Aden to fund their war. The pirates still exist today and are growing in power, spreading their piracy as far as India.

Because there is no single terrorist group in Somalia, the term 'Somali Pirate' can refer to any of the terrorist and rebel armies, although the most powerful is believed to be Al-Shabaab with an army size of about 15,000 men and have taken over the southern half of Somalia in 2011.

Because piracy is such a luxurious criminal enterprise and the pirates organizations have survived international crackdowns, there is little chance that Somali Pirates will die out anytime soon.

Although the Somali Civil War is ongoing, piracy decreased significantly as foreign navies better protecting their ships in the region and large ships are hiring heavily armed bodyguards or mercenaries for self defense.

Battle vs. JS Mirai Crew (by BattleGames1)[]

JS Mirai Crew: Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue

Somali Pirates: Brown Brown Brown Brown Brown Brown

JS Mirai, Pacific Ocean, 1943

The JS Mirai encounters another of the mysterious storms like the one that sent it back to 1942. However, the storm is more turbulent and violent and it manages to throw everyone but Kadomatsu and 5 other crew members (Kikuchi, Oguri, Umezu, Satake and Mori) off the ship. Fortunately they all land back in front of the Academy safe and sound.

National Defense Academy of Japan, Yokosuka, 2011

"Wow, that was one hell of a ride" an officer exclaims as he picks himself up.

"Tell me about it!" another officer groaned as he walked towards the door to the Academy.

After looking around, everyone notices that Kadomatsu and the top members of the Mirai are missing.

"Anyone know where Kadomatsu is?" the officer at the door asks.

Everyone mumbles exclaiming they don't know as they piled their way into the building. "Wherever they are, I hope they make it back" a petty officer said to himself before walking inside and shutting the door behind him.

Off the coast of Somalia, Indian Ocean, 2011

"Does anyone know where the hell we are!" Kadomatsu exclaimed at the top of his lungs as he slammed his fist onto a blank GPS in the control room.

"Now calm down, Kadomatsu, we are looking into the matter..." Kikuchi calmly stated to Kadomatsu as he patted him down onto the captain. Just then, Navigation Officer Oguri appeared at the front door, with a grave look on his face.

"Ah, Oguri! Any news from below the deck?" Kikuchi asked.

"Unfortunately its not good, all the sonar equipment's shot and the engines are dead. Trying to repair it could a couple of hours..." Oguri started speaking before being cut off by Umezu.

"Commander! You need to see this!" Umezu handed his binoculars over to Kikuchi as they look outside the quarterdeck window. Out in the distance, brown land with one or two rusty tin huts can be seen but that is all.

"Kikuchi, get Satake and Mori. I might need them with me on the Umidori. Maybe when we fly out to the area, we might get a better idea"

"Satake's already out there sir inspecting the damage done to the Umidori following the storm" Umezu pointed out.

"Well that's good. It's a miracle our little bird survived," Kadomatsu chuckled briefly "And Mori?"

"He should be back from the radio room finishing repairs there..." Kikuchi further explained.

"Good." Kadomatsu affirmed as he rose from his chair and put on his cap, "Tell him to meet me at the hangar in several minutes," he paused at the door to the deck "We need to get to the bottom of this mess."

As soon as Kadomatsu and Kikuchi left the deck, Oguri stopped Umezu before the latter set his foot out into the open. "Pardon me for asking, but do you really know where we are?" he asked curiously

"I can't say for sure..." Umezu scratched his head in confusion "But I think we may be off the coast of Africa. Whereabouts I don't know." he then patted Oguri on the head before walking out the door. From outside, he called out "C'mon Oguri, the Kadomatsu hasn't got all day!" Oguri shrugged, put on his cap and walked out to join the rest of the crew.

10 Minutes Later...

A small tugboat with 6 Somali Pirates appears towards the stern of the ship, just almost underneath the aircraft hangar portion of the ship. With their weapons ready, the captain of the ship throws a ladder up to railing above him. With it locked perfectly into position, the pirates ascend their rope ladder as quietly as they can with their weapons at the ready (pistols in their holsters, the captain and 2 others holding AK-47s, one Pirate carrying a PKM, the boat driver with an RPG at the ready and the last pirate carrying a grappling hook). The crew up top, meanwhile, remain unaware of their presence as the 5 officers (Kadomatsu and Moru armed with Howas) make their way towards the Umidori.

"So you need me because we might run into trouble once we touch down?" Mori questions with a speck of scepticism in his voice "Are you nuts!"

"Look, Mori, we might as well inspect the place while we are still here, OK?" Kadomatsu tiringly answers him. "Satake..." Kadomatsu loudly called as Satake got off the chopper "How's our aircraft doing?"

"Well, the Umidori should be ready to go but we are low on fuel so we have to make the trip count." Satake explained as best as he could to the Commander.

"I guess we should. Now..." Kadomatsu said as he turned to face Kikuchi, Umezu and Oguri "You three need to stay here in case anything goes wrong. We don't know what danger may be out there..."

Suddenly, Satake notices the Pirates approaching from behind the three officers. "Guys, I think we know what's out there now..." he stammered and pointed at the 2 figures approaching them from out of the shade. The boat captain, with his RPG aimed at the Umidori, then launches a rocket. "DUCK!" Satake yelled before jumping as far as he could from the Umidori before the plane explodes. Luckily, Kadomatsu and the other crewmen jumped out of the way before any of them got hurt. Before anyone can react, the tugboat driver bolted back for the ship while the PKM pirate sprayed his gun at the crew. Kadomatsu and Mori unsheathed their Howas and aimed them the pirate but unfortunately for Mori, he is gunned down before he can fire Blue. Firing back at the PKM pirate, Kadomatsu yells "Everyone! Grab what weapons you can from the armoury downstairs. Move!" and immediately, the other commanders were bolting for the nearest door while Kadomatsu continued to fire his Howa, eventually taking a few steps forward and gunning down the PKM pirate Brown. Before the other pirates can come out with their AK-47s, Kadomatsu bolted in the direction of his crew mates and kept on firing his Howa to provide some covering fire. When the 4 remaining pirates arrive on deck, the head pirate has 2 of his men head down the stairs to possibly intercept the crew on their way to the armoury, while the captain and one of his men (the one with the grappling hook) head towards the other side of the ship.

Underneath, running but almost out of breath, Oguri, Umezu and Satake were almost there at the small armoury where there was a stash of weapons including more Howas, a Panzerfaust 3 and an M249 SAW.

"What the hell were those people!" Oguri exclaimed through the engine deck. "Somali pirates. The JMSDF have been fighting them for quite a while now" came the reply from Umezu. "Then how are we supposed to fight back?" Umezu and Satake retorted simultaneously. "We just have to do what we can. We're not in the past anymore." Hearing footsteps in front of him, Oguri unsheathes his pistol but the AK-47 pirate is quicker on the trigger Blue. Satake, enraged by his colleague's death, charges at the pirate and tackles him to the ground before the pirate can have a chance to fire. In all this, Umezu rushes as fast as he can towards the armory and grab the M249 SAW. Satake continues to punch at and engage the pirate at a fist fight but ultimately, the Pirate overpowers him and as Umezu clambers out with the SAW and the other AK-47 wielding pirate comes into view, the Pirate battle Umezu whips out his Tokarev and empties a few rounds into Satake Blue. Before the pirate can aim his pistol at Umezu, the Captain begins firing his machine gun and mows down the pirate in front of him Brown.

Turning quickly to see the other pirate ready his AK-47, Umezu quickly mows him down too Brown. Inspecting the area around him to make sure no enemies were present, Umezu grabs the Panzerfaust (as well as some pistol ammunition in case Kadomatsu needed it) and slings it over his shoulder before making his way to the quarterdeck.

In another area of the ship, Kikuchi and Kadomatsu hide out in the galley hoping to make a break in the fighting. Hearing footsteps coming, Kadomatsu hands Kikuchi his Howa as well as M9 Bayonet. Instinctively, Kikuchi grabs the rifle and attaches the knife to the end of it. The head pirate then storms into the room aiming his AK-47 behind the pots and pans before firing at where he thinks the officers are hiding. After emptying the magazine, the captain slowly walks over to the pantry thinking he caught them. However, Kikuchi then appears from their real hiding spot and fires his Howa at the pirate's back, killing him instantly Brown.

The pirate with the grappling hook then furiously charges into the room, holding and swinging the weapon around like a madman. Just when he is about to strike Kikuchi from behind, Kikuchi turns around and intercepts the blow with the bayonet at the end of his Howa.

The two then exchange in a very heated melee between knife and hook, with one almost blocking blows from the other - in other words, the bayonet intercepts the hook but gets caught between the prongs. Kadomatsu, in viewing all this, tries to fire his SIG Sauer at the enemy but misses all 10 rounds before emptying his magazine. Just then, Kikuchi then gets knocked in the stomach with one swing of the hook, sending him to the floor and knocking the rifle and bayonet out of his hands. Kadomatsu couldn't help but not look at what may be about to happen. Suddenly, Umezu arrives from the other side of the galley and throws a SIG magazine at Kadomatsu. He catches it, loads it into the pistol and before the pirate with the hook can strike, he is gunned down by a hail of bullets - primarily from Kadomatsu and his SIG Sauer but also from Umezu and his M249 SAW Brown.

Handing Kadomatsu the Panzerfaust, Umezu barks at the commanders "C'mon, there's one more guy left!" before rushing out of the door. Kadomatsu, before following the instruction given, rushes to Kikuchi and helps him onto his feet. "God that sure was one heck of a fight. Thanks for saving me..." Kikuchi grunts as he clutches his stomach in pain. "It's OK, Kikuchi. We'll get you medical attention as soon as we can. Right now, let's go" and the two stumbled out onto the open deck catching up to Umezu.

"This way" Umezu points northward towards the hangar deck "I just saw a boat and it looks like its ready to leave". The trio rush towards the deck hoping to catch a glimpse of it but the first thing they see once they look towards the ocean was the boat captain aiming his RPG at them. Kadomatsu jumps out of the way when the rocket fires but Umezu is too slow and is consumed in the ensuing blast, that also knocks Kikuchi onto the floor and giving him a concussion Blue. Getting back on his feet, Kadomatsu aims his Panzerfaust at the boat while the pirate on board tries to get the vehicle started. As soon as it does however, Kadomatsu fires the Panzerfaust and the little tugboat is no more Brown.

With all the pirates dead, Kadomatsu silently looks at the damage done to the boat and his crew before resolving to go to the radio room and contact the Academy for pick-up.

Expert's Opinion[]

In a landslide vote to the Crew, the experts agreed that although the Pirates were very ruthless and determined to get the job done, the crew - taking into account they have faced enemies even tougher than pirates although never confronting pirates themselves - had access to more reliable and harder hitting weaponry. If you think this battle is unfair in any way, shape or form, you can go ahead and do a rematch.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Brazilian Militia (Call of Duty) (by El Alamein)[]

Brazilian Militia: BlueBlueBlueBlueBlue

Somali Pirates: RedRedRedRedRed

The choppy coastal waters off Rio de Janeiro splash aimlessly against the side of the pier. A small motor propels a simple rowboat closer to land, five heavily-armed Somali Pirates tense and alert inside. A PK Machine gun sits mounted on the front of the boat, with two pirates operating the heavy weapon. As the droning roar of the motor grows closer and louder, several members of the Brazilian militia are drawn to the area. Spotting the hostiles and their weapons, the militiamen open fire with FALs and RPDs. As the bullets slap into the water around the pirates, they return fire with random AK shots and unwieldy bursts of fire from the PK. In an instant, the seaside shantytown is torn apart by gunfire.

One of the militiamen scores a hit with his FAL on the pirate operating the motor in the back. The fatally wounded pirate jerks forward, falling overboard right as the boat bumps against the pier, and floats facedown in the water. As the rest of the pirates frantically disembark, the unconscious pirate drifts directly into the whirring blade of the motor, headfirst, grinding him into a bloody pulp and clouding the murky water red. Red One of the pirates steadies himself with an RPG over his shoulder, and, crouching while rifle shots crack by his shoulders, he fires a warhead up at one of the militamen up on a second-story balcony. The rocket streaks up and collides with the upper wall of the building, showering the Brazilian militaman with flames and shrapnel. Blue The body is lifted in the air from the force of the blast and tossed to the ground below. The other pirates advance into the favela while the RPG-toting Somali heads back to the boat for the PK. 

Inside the narrow alleyways of the favela, two pirates creep, AK-47s at the ready, when a slight clink sounds at their feet. Looking down in horror, they spot an M67 fragmentation grenade directly below them, slowly rolling to a halt. One pirate dives into an open doorway while the other pulls the pin out of his RGD-5 and throws it into a window from which the M67 came. The first explosion comes from the M67, throwing the Somali pirate to the ground, nearly torn in half, but a second later a scream and a bang within the window shred the militaman responsible for the first grenade kill. RedBlue The other Somali pirate pulls himself to his feet in the safety of the building, raising his Kalashnikov and slowly approaching a short staircase. Checking his magazine, the pirate pops his head up to the second floor, only to find himself staring down the barrel of a Desert Eagle. The pirate's face turns to an expression of horror milliseconds before the trigger is pulled and the .50 caliber bullet mashes his skull and paints the wall behind him with brain matter. Red The body spasms in death and tumbles violently back down the stairs, arms flailing and AK-47 flying. The militiaman with the Desert Eagle sets down his sidearm, and, picking up his RPD, aims out the window. He is sent for cover as wild shots slam into the wall around him, courtesy of the pirate with the PK machine gun and his last surviving ally. Standing awkwardly, the militaman sprays back at the two pirates, who scramble for cover. 

Down in the ragged streets, one of the pirates ducks around the back of an alley and creeps alongside the building in which the militiaman fires wildly. The other pirate makes a few sporadic shots to distract the Brazilian. The Somali flinches as spent cases rain down from the RPD out the window onto his head, but he ducks into the building and draws his revolver. Spotting the nearly headless body of his comrade, the pirate bounds up the stairs in a few steps and rasies his handgun right as the militiaman turns, RPD at the hip, trigger pulled. The Somali pirate is faster, though, and empties the revolver into the Brazilian militiaman, killing him with two shots to the chest and one to the stomach. Blue As the pirate stops to reload his handgun, his ally outside turns down and runs past the building, lugging the PK machine gun. He stops as he approaches an empty, open field with a ratty soccer net flapping in the wind. Cautious about exposing himself needlessly, the pirate slowly lowers himself to the prone position and sets up the bipod on his machine gun, watching patiently. A three-story apartment building sits behind the field, with many windows for vantage points. The other Somali pirate approaches right as a militaman pops up on the roof, with his FAL. Both pirates open fire wildly as the Brazilian militaman dives down out of sight. The Kalashnikov-wielding pirate exhausts his magazine and rips out the empty clip, fumbling for a new one right as the Brazilian leaps up again, aiming at the now-vulnerable pirate. The machine gunner on the ground is faster, though, and sends round after round into the militiaman, who fires one shot into the air as he jerks in pain and tumbles headfirst off of the roof. Blue No sooner has this happened, though, than does the last militiaman stand up in a window on the second story, M79 "Thumper" grenade launcher out, and fires a 40mm grenade launcher across the open field. The AK-wielding pirate makes a step to turn and run, but it's too late. The round lands directly on the PK-wielding Somali pirate, blowing him in half with the force of the blast, and throws the AK-toting pirate backwards, his midsection torn with fragmentation. RedRed

Expert's Opinion[]

The Somali pirates may have had greater combat experience in the Somali Civil Wars, but their primary aspect of combat was focused on naval combat and nonlethal hostage-taking in order to secure expensive ransoms. The Brazilian Militia were fighting on their home turf, in their environment, and their harder-hitting, longer-ranged weapons gave them the operational capability to secure a victory.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Irish Republican Army (by Yetimonster)[]

No battle was written.

Expert's Opinion[]

The IRA won due to them having the more modern and accurate weaponry along with them being more organized.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Taliban (by Deathblade 100)[]

Somali: BlueBlueBlueBlueBlue

Taliban: RedRedRedRedRed

Middle East, 2010

A sputtering sound filled the air as a skiff containing five Somali Pirates advances towards a dockyard. As the pirates disembarked, a cell of five Taliban insurgents advance down a hill towards the shipping yard. As the Taliban advance, a burst of fire from the pirates' PKM caused the Taliban to scatter.

A Taliban soldier returned fire with his RPD and fatally wounded an AK-wielding pirate. Blue A burst of PKM fire took out the RPD-wielding Taliban. Red Two Somalis open fire with their AK-47s killing a Taliban fighter. Red The Taliban leader orders his remaining men to pull back. As the Taliban withdraw, a shot from a Somali's RPG fatally wounds an insurgent. Red

The Somalis started to pursue the Taliban however, a pirate accidentally treads on a PMN mine planted by the Taliban leader.Blue A Somali swings his grappling hook towards a Taliban insurgent, tearing open his stomach. As the Taliban started to bleed out, he drew out his bayonet and drove it into the Somali's neck.BlueRed As the remaining two pirates searched for the last Taliban, one of the two heard a gun cocking before both started to turn. As the two pirates turned around, the Taliban leader opened fire with his AKS-74U killing both of them.BlueBlue

The Taliban leader raised his AKS-74U and yelled "Allahu Akbar!" in victory, before reloading and moving out of the shipping yard.

Expert's Opinion[]

The Taliban won due to better weapons and training. While the Somali Pirates did have the experience, the fact was their weapons were pretty much out of date with the exception of the PKM and even then, they lacked the training the Taliban had.

To see the original battle, votes and weapons, click here

Battle vs. Khmer Rouge (by MilenHD)[]

Khmer Rouge: Red Red Red Red Red

Somali Pirates: Lightblue Lightblue Lightblue Lightblue Lightblue

In the docks with jungle behind them five Khmer Rouges were scouting the area and not far away a boat with five Somali pirates has landed and they have went to search for ammo, weapons or other things for future use. As they were approaching, the Khmers noticed them and opened fire, and one of the Khmers killed a Somali with his M16.Lightblue

The pirates retaliated with with their AK-47 rifles and the Khmers started to run away and fire their M16 at the mean time, only one of M16's to jam and this resulted a death by AK-47.Red The Khmers and the Somalis continued their assault at each other, and neither side took an advantage and in the next moment one of the pirates threw a grenade and as the grenade exploded it killed one of the Khmers Red, and the explosion send two of the Khmers in the water. One of the Somali's pulled his Colt Python revolver and shot one of the Khmers, who felt down in waters, killing him with head shot. Red

As the pirate turned his head was blown by a TT-33 Lightblue, while the other Khmer threw a RGD-33 grenade and killed one of the pirates Lightblue and seriously injuring the other, while the third holding his grappling hook, felt from the big explosion in the water near the Khmer, as the Khmer was holding his pistol, the pirate appeared behind him and stabbed his hook in the Khmer's throat, making fountain of blood Red, only for him to get shoot in the back of his head with a TT-33.Lightblue

As the Khmer turned at the charging Somali with his Tokarev, the pistol jammed and he pulled his cane knife, swinging it furiously at the Somali and after time, the pirate stabbed the shoulder of the Khmer, inflicting deep wound. The Khmer managed to cut a deep wound into the pirate's leg and as the Pirate step backwards from the pain, he found his dead mate Colt Python and as he raised it up, he fired it at the Khmer, killing him.Red

The Somali Pirate raised his revolver and shouted in victory.

Expert's Opinion[]

The Khmer Rouge didn't have the training or experience of the Somali Pirates, yet their long range rifle was their biggest weakness. Also they were mostly  young students. In the end the X-factors were in favour of the Somali Pirates.

To see the original votes, battle and weapons, click here