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Dear Father. Forgive me. It was never my intention to offend you. I would like to firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. But I can't.
— Priest

Priest is the protagonist of the film of the same name. He is a former member of an elite order of vampire hunters called the Priests, who were formed by the theocratic order known as The Church to fight vampires in the centuries-long war between humans and vampires. After the war, Priest uncovered a plot created by the Queen, leader of the vampires, to turn humans into vampires and set out to stop it.

At some point, Priest was in a relationship with a woman named Shannon and had a daughter they named Lucy. When Priest was drafted into the Priest to fight in the war against the vampires, his brother, Owen, adopted Lucy and married Shannon so he could take care of them. After the war was over and the vampires defeated, Priest was one of the few surviving members of his order and was forced to reintegrate back into society when the Priests were disbanded.

One day, Priest was approached by Hicks, sheirff of the free town of Augustine, who informed him that Owen and Shannon were killed in a vampire attack and that Lucy was kidnapped. Wishing to rescue his daughter, Priest requested the Clergy to reinstate his authority, but leader Monsignor Orelas disbelieved the vampire story and refused. Regardless, Priest set out with Hicks to find Lucy. They are later joined by Priestess, who was originally sent by The Church to capture and punish Priest but refused the order, having fought alongside him during the war and being more loyal to him than the clergy.

With the aid of his allies, Priest succesfully rescued Lucy and foil a vampire plot to destroy the city that acts as the Church's headquarters. After learning that the the Queen is still alive, Priest confronted Orelas, who still refused to believe the vampires had regained their strength. Despite this, the surviving Priests were informed of this and decided to aid Priest and Priestess in their mission to truly defeat the vampires.

Battle vs. Abraham Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter) (by Wassboss)[]

When he’d first arrived in DFederal, Priest had found things not to be much different from his home world. A grey drab city ruled over by a powerful and oppressive organisation was nothing he wasn’t already used to. For years he had lived in a small trailer in the blue-collar district and while it had not been a happy existence it was at least a comfortable one.

But that all changed when the VC Nation attacked.

One night he was awoken by the sounds of his door being kicked in and a group of men dragged him from his home. A man in a mask waited for him outside, one of the overlords of the city. “Your battle against Jake Lonergan has been declared invalid on fairness grounds,” the man said and with a snap of his fingers, his trailer was erased from existence. He had tried to protest, begging for a chance to regain his home but the masked man said nothing else, disappearing back to where he came from as the men who dragged him from his bed went back to their own homes.

It was from then on Priest began to realise just how bad this city truly was. With no house he was forced to live on the streets and with no shower to bathe himself he was fired from his job; nobody wants a smelly starving homeless man working for them. During the day he scavenged for any food or money and by night he grasped fleeting moments of sleep he could. After months of living like this he knew what he had to do to escape this living hell; he needed to find a battle.

Finding an opponent was not easy, however. Many of the other homeless were either too weak or too strong to make a fair fight which left only the residents already with homes as options. As luck would have it some of the residents had taken it upon themselves to try and help the homeless with money, food, or medical supplies. Despite his desperation Priest found himself unable to challenge those who lived in blue-collar or white-collar housing, knowing they could ill afford losing housing space. But now after many months of searching he had finally found the perfect opponent.

His target was a giant of a man, standing at well over six feet tall and despite his lean figure was muscular and virile. Having tailed him one night, Priest knows he lives in the wealthy district. He follows him as he walks confidently through one of the many homeless hotspots. The man stops to speak to a woman sitting in the gutter, reaching into his pocket, and handing her a few dollars which she takes gratefully. Taking out one of his crosses Priest throws it at the man, aiming it so it takes the hat from his head and pins it to the wall. The woman scurries away as the man straightens up and turns to face him.

“There is no need for violence friend. If it’s money you need, I’m happy to help you out.”

“I’m not after your money, what I need is a home,” Priest replies. The man sighs.

“I’m asking you not to do this, the people who run this city might not even count this as a proper battle.”

“That’s a risk I’m going to have to take.” Priest takes out more of his crosses and throws them this time aiming to kill. Lincoln draws his crossbow from his trenchcoated, ducking down onto one knee to avoid the crosses and firing off a bolt. Priest flips over the bolt and throws a couple more crosses while in mid-air, one of which mangles the crossbow and the other cuts deeply into Lincoln’s arm. Attracted by the commotion a crowd of fellow hobos emerges from the shadows to see what all the fuss is about forming a circle around the pair as they continue their fight.

Discarding his ruined crossbow, Lincoln draws his axe, smacking away another cross as Priest throws it. Having now run out of the projectiles, Priest takes out his own blade just in time to block a swing from the axe. The force of the swing is enough to send the knife clattering away across the ground, leaving him temporarily disarmed. The axe whistles past his throat as he backs up with Lincoln pressing forward relentlessly. “Maybe we should go and get the police to stop this?” says a nervous mustachioed man dressed in green amongst the crowd.

“Nein,” says another man  with a moustache, albeit it a much smaller and lamer one. “Finally, we have some decent entertainment around here.” He laughs loudly as Priest almost slips on a pile of rubbish, narrowly avoiding having his head being split open with the axe. One of his crosses is imbedded in the wall behind him and he yanks it out, flinging it at Lincoln who has to lean backwards to avoid it taking his head off. The distraction allows Priest to grab his knife from where it has come to rest. He throws himself at the former president, knife aiming for his throat but Lincoln grabs his wrist with an iron strong grip, turning the blade away. With his free hand he slams punch after punch into his side, finishing off the flurry with a headbutt right on his nose.

Priest stumbles away dazed and Lincoln moves in for the kill. Raising the axe high above his head he prepares to take his opponents head when Priest lunges forwards suddenly, his seemingly dazed state actually being a ruse. He thrusts his knife into Lincoln’s abdomen with such force it almost pokes out of the other side of his torso. The axe clatters to the ground and Lincoln lurches forward, wrapping his massive arms around Priest to hold himself up. “I’m sorry,” Priest says quietly into his ear and yanks the blade out, stepping back and letting Lincoln collapse to the ground.

Some of the crowd cheer, happy to see one of their own defeat one of the wealthy citizens in a battle. Others move greedily towards the body of the fallen president to scavenge what they can from his corpse. Before they can however a gunshot rings out and they all go scrambling back. A man saunters into the area, dressed in a sharp suit and a fedora, his face waxy. “I’m Detective Inspector Me with the DFPD Magic Division. There have been reports of fighting in the area.”

“We don’t like cops round here,” says one of the hobos, spitting on the floor in contempt. Mumblings of agreement from the rest of the crowd follows. The detective ignores them instead his attention is drawn to Lincoln’s body and Priest holding a bloody knife stood above him.

“I don’t think I have to tell you that you’re under arrest, do I?”

“Of course, officer, I only did what I had to do to get a home.” He makes no effort to resist as the detective handcuffs him.

“I wish they were all this co-operative,” the detective says. Once Priest is safely secured, he takes out his phone and calls in to DFederal General Hospital to request an ambulance to pick up Lincoln’s body for revival. With that arranged he leads Priest away and the crowd of homeless slowly disperse back into the darkness, ready for another hard night on the streets.

Priest looks out over the city from his apartment in the white-collar district. His battle has been approved by the council and it was nice to have a warm comfy bed to sleep in after nine months sleeping in the gutter. He hears the clanging of his letter box and walks over to his front door to find an envelope lying on the floor. He picks it up and looks puzzled at an emblem of a wolf printed on the front of it before opening it and reading the note inside.

I heard through the grapevine about your situation about how you have been mistreated and cast aside by the rulers of this place. What is happening in this city is unfair, unjust, and unacceptable and it’s time someone did something about it. But I need people who share my views, people who are willing to make a stand and overthrow our oppressors. If you are interested meet me where your old trailer used to be at midnight tonight. Don’t disappoint me.


Priest looks up at the clock on the wall. 9PM. His old home was a two hour walk from his apartment so if he sets off now, he can make it in time. Grabbing his coat from the coat rack he heads out, slamming the door behind him.

Winner: Priest

Expert's Opinion[]

This battle came down to a simple case of professionalism. Priest was part of a specialised unit trained and supplied by the church in order to hunt vampires whereas Lincoln was a part time vampire hunter at best with a mostly self-taught skill set. Priest was the more skilled warrior as a result and that is why he was victorious here.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Edit Section

Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.

Battle vs. Jake Lonergan (by Danites)[]


Winner: Jake Longergan

Expert's Opinion[]


To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle was declared unfair because of Jake Lonergan's more advanced long-range weapons.