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Fiercely and Faithfully
— Pontifical Swiss Guard motto

The Pontifical Swiss Guard, also Papal Swiss Guard or simply Swiss Guard, is a group of Swiss military volunteers who provide their services in protecting nobles and high-ranking officials at ceremonies and European courts. Founded in 1506, the Papal Swiss Guard is the only Swiss Guard division still in existence. Many of the Swiss Guard was used in France during the 15th Century as mercenaries who were given orders to protect the king, like Louis XI.

Francis I used the Swiss soldiers regularly in his campaigns in the 16th Century. The Pontifical Swiss Guard was founded by Pope Sixtus IV to defend the Pope. They have engaged in countless conflicts and have been able to save the Popes of the past including Pope Clement VII during the Sacking of Rome. This event is formally known as the Stand of the Swiss Guard where a majority of the 189 Guards were slain.

Today, the Swiss Guard still where their colorful uniforms and carry ceremonial weapons like the partisan, halberd, and rapier. However, the main, non-ceremonial armory includes SIG Sauer pistols and rifles. To be a Swiss Guard one must be a Roman Catholic, single, and a male with Swiss citizenship and has received basic training by the Swiss military. The Swiss Guard engage in marksmanship competitions year-round.

Battle vs. Amazonian Guard (by Goddess of Despair)[]

Amazon Guard Red  Red  Red  Red  Red Swiss Guard Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue

The Swiss creep up to a tiny structure. Sitting behind a desk is an Amazonian Guard doing her nails, Makarov in arm’s reach. The Swiss kick down the door, assault rifles aimed. The Amazon rises and opens fire with her Makarov, killing the first Swiss with a headshot. Blue

The second Swiss fired a burst of rounds into her head, killing her. Red

Hearing the gunshots, three Amazons take up defensive positions behind two chairs. The Swiss enter the second room, and immediately come under fire again. They quickly burst into the room and get in cover, but one is not fast enough and gets mowed down. Blue

One Amazon attempts to flank, but a Swiss turns in time to stop her with a few shots from his MP5. Red

The other Amazon headshots the now exposed Swiss Guard. Blue

“On my lead” says the Swiss leader “3…2…1…” suddenly they both break from cover, spraying their entire magazines at the surprised Amazons. Both fall in seconds, riddled with bullets. Red Red

“Get out of here, Gaddafi!” says the final Amazon guard as Gaddafi rushes for a vehicle. The two Swiss rush to stop him, but one gets his legs shot, making him fall. The Swiss leader ducks behind cover as the Amazon approaches. Suddenly he leaps up and grabs her AK47.

The two struggle to control the weapon until the Swiss leader headbutts her, making her lose her grip. Before he could take aim, she grabbed the rifle again and stomped his foot. She then followed it up with a kick to the groin.

Finally, she shoved the Swiss leader back and aimed her AK, only to be interrupted with a shot to the head. Red

Watching Gadhafi get away, the Swiss leader cursed and radioed for an evac.

Expert's Opinion[]

The Amazons were good fighters, but they were armed with weapons that were not able to compete with that of the Swiss. That alongside the Swiss Guard's superior experience, physicality, and discipline lead them to victory.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.