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They were Elves once. Taken by the Dark Powers... tortured and mutilated... a ruined and terrible form of life.
— Saruman

Orcs, also called Goblins, were created in the deep past, in an age when the Elves were a brand new race, the eyes of Morgoth, the evil and most powerful Valar spirit, set his eyes on the races of the Creator Illuvatar. Taking several individuals from the races of the earth, he twisted, mutated each one to sire countless races of monsters. For those Elves he captured, he tortured and mutilated into horrid forms; the first Orcs. From these were bred a race of countless number that made war on the free peoples of Middle Earth.

A first there was only one race of Orcs: the small types, called Snagas, but eventually Sauron, the successor to Melkor, decided to breed a giant race of Orcs: the Uruk-hai. The larger Orcs sacked Osgiliath and were found in and out of Mordor, the land of Sauron. Near the end of the third age Saruman the White, the rogue wizard who betrayed the free peoples of Middle Earth, cross Orcs with a hybrid race called Goblin-men to create the ultimate evolution of the Orcs: the Fighting Uruk-Hai. These Orcs were less evil yet more powerful and formidable than the Uruks, and nearly conquered all of the human Kingdom of Rohan.

Orcs are dark and hideous, possessing long, very powerful limbs like those of the Great Apes. Yet despite their great strength and ferocity they are often bested by human warriors, which are no were near as strong. Indeed, Elves, Dwarves, and Ents likewise outclass them on average in combat, but the Orcs make up for this in both far superior numbers and alliances with more powerful races and monsters, such as Trolls, Nazguls, Balrogs, and giant wolves/wargs.

Battle vs. Army of Darkness (by Undead RVD)[]

Inside the city of Telsmore

There is a group of creatures camped on top of 3 ruined buildings, connected with boards. They are short creatures, thin in build but have the eyes of a savage creatures. There is 21 of them all together. They are Orcs. While the Orcs are minding their business, their leader, some orc archers and some spearmen are standing watch. Their leader is a massive creature, pale in skin and deformed in shape. His left are is curled up, useless. His left eye is covered by a tumor growing on his head. He is Gothmog.

"Sir," One of the archers ask, "When do you think they will get here?"

"Soon enough." Gothmog answers.

"What are they like?" one of the spearmen asks, "the men we are looking out for, that is. What are they like?"

"All I know... is they are dead men. Dead men that walk. They are men none the less. They will fall."

Outside the city

A large group of 20 soldiers march to Telsmore. Their bodies are rotten and many have nothing but bones. They are undead soldiers. More importantly, they are the Beginning of the Army of Darkness. In the middle is a rotting undead horse. Riding it is a man-shaped monster, clad in gruesome armor. His jaw is mutilated and his helmet has the shape of the skull of some fierce monster. He is Evil Ash.

"Sire, the City of Telsmore is ever close," one of the undead warriors tell Evil Ash.

"That's nice but how many men are buried down in it?"

"Many bodies, perhaps in the thousands."

"Good! They will make for a great army! Now, into that city!"

The undead soldiers continue to the city at a faster pace.

Back in the City

The Orcs continue to wait. Many are sharpening their crude weapons. Others are eating meat of an unknown origin. Suddenly, one of the archers finds something. He races to Gothmog.

"Sir! I see large group of men coming this way!" The orc tells the Lieutenant, "They are heavily armed are picking up pace! Worse, yet, they don't appear normal!"

"How do they appear?" Gothmog says with interest.

"They appear to be... Undead! They have little life in them! Some don't even have flesh!"

"These are our men. Take positions."

The Orcs start taking arms and head for their areas. The Archers wait on the buildings, their bows pulled. Orcs armed with spears, scimitars and axes both along side and below.


  • Gothmog: Orange
  • Scimitar: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreen
  • Scimitar and Shield: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreen
  • Spear and Shield: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreen
  • Bow: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreen
  • Axe: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreen

Army of Darkness:

  • Evil Ash: Black2
  • Longsword: GreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGrey
  • Longsword and Shield: GreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGrey
  • Winged Spear and Shield: GreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGrey
  • Crossbow: GreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGrey
  • Battleaxe: GreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGrey

The undead warriors are entering the city, oblivious to the Orc's ambush. As they march through, Gothmog gives the order:


The Orc Archers let loose their arrows onto the undead warriors. They hit... and it does nothing. They look down at the arrows in confusion.

Evil Ash pulls out the arrow that was in his side and yells out to his men:


The Deadite crossbowman aim up and fire. They take down 4 of the Orc archers and wound the remaining 2. The four dead archers fall off the buildings they were on.

  • Bow: GreenGreen X X X X

The Orc archers fall back and the other orcs leap down. The Melee has begun. Their leaping attack is able to take out two undead swordsmen, one undead shield-swordsman, 4 crossbowmen and one axeman. However, some of the undead warriors are able to respond on time. The Spear men and swordsmen raise their Winged-Spears and Longswords just in time to catch some of the falling orce, killing two orcs with scimitars , two with scimitars and shields two with spears and one with an axe. The others raise their weapons to block the attacks.

  • Scimitar: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreenX X
  • Scimitar and Shield: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreen X X
  • Spear and Shield: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreen X X
  • Axe: GreenGreenGreenGreenGreenGreen X X
  • Longsword: GreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGrey X X
  • Longsword and Shield: GreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGrey X
  • Crossbow: GreyGrey X X X X
  • Battleaxe: GreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGreyGrey X

The Orcs, realizing they are loosing more men then they are taking down, head further int the city. Gothmog, still on top of the buldings, is angry but he follows. The Undead Warriors are confused on what is going on but Evil Ash doesn't have the patience.

"Don't just stand their! AFTER THEM!"

The Undead warriors, now laughing with glee, start charging through the city. The Orc archers catch up with the remaining Orcs but they see the Undead warriors charging. Gothmog yells down at them to take positions. The orcs create a formation and get ready. The Undead soldiers and the Orcs clash. The Orcs with the axes and scimitars swing hard while the Orcs with spears stab ferociously. The undead warriors do the same, the Swordsmen and Axemen bringing down heavy blows and the Spearmen thrust with power. 4 orc swordsmen, 3 orc shielded swordsmen, 4 orc spearmen, 5 orc axmen, 4 undead swordsmen, 3 undead shielded swordsmen, 5 undead spearmen and 5 undead axemen lay dead.

  • Scimitar: GreenGreenGreenGreenX X X X X X
  • Scimitar and Shield: GreenGreenGreenGreenX X X X
  • Spear and Shield: GreenGreenGreenGreen X X X X X X
  • Axe: GreenGreen X X X X X X
  • Longsword: GreyGreyGreyGrey X X X X X X
  • Longsword and Shield: GreyGreyGreyGrey X X X X
  • Winged Spear and Shield: GreyGreyGrey X X X X X
  • Battleaxe: GreyGreyGrey X X X X X

Soon, the fighting gets slitted up and the warriors of each side start to fight one on one. Evil Ash rides in and hacks off one of the scimitar orcs, one of the shield-scimitar orcs and one of the shield orcs. Gothmog, backed with his archers, starts to insert himself in the fight, pushing over ruble, taking down an undead axemen and Axe men. The rest of the numbers start to weed out in till their is one of each type left, save for the Orc Archers and Undead Crossbowmen

  • Scimitar: Green X X X X X X X X X
  • Scimitar and Shield: Green X X X X X X X
  • Spear and Shield: Green X X X X X X X
  • Bow: GreenGreen X X X X
  • Axe: Green X X X X X X X
  • Longsword: Grey X X X X X X X X X
  • Longsword and Shield: Grey X X X X X X X
  • Winged Spear and Shield: Grey X X X X X X X
  • Crossbow: GreyGrey X X X X
  • Battleaxe: Grey X X X X X X X

Gothmog sees Evil Ash in view. He grabs one of the Archers next to him and throws him down to Ash, knocking him off his horse, which gallops off. Evil ash grabs the orc on him by the head and twists his head, breaking his neck. The other Orc Archer draws his bow to take a shot at Evil Ash The undead Crossbow men see this and fire bolts out. They land on the other orc archer and kills him.

The attack is then halted when an Orc axeman leaps at them and crashed his axe on one of them, shattering the undead crossbowman into pieces. He knocks the other down and is about to bring down his axe on the remaining crossbowman when the remaining Undead Axeman swings his axe into the Orcs axe and breaks it in half. The orc is dumbfounded but the Undead Axeman strikes down on the orc's head.

  • Bow: X X X X X X
  • Axe: X X X X X X X X
  • Crossbow: Grey X X X X X

Gothmog pulls out his scimitar and leaps down. Evil Ash gets back up and look at each other.

"You are a threat to EVERYTHING Sauron wants!" Gothmog yells at Evil Ash, "Why don't you Join Him!"

"I'm not that good about sharing," Evil Ash responds, "The Necronomican will be mine and I will rule this world."

"You seek the death of Men, Elves and Dwarves. We seek the same!"

"I want ALL things that breath to be dead and be serving me. 'Cept for the girls. They look better alive. That's how I like it."

Gothmog swings overhead at Evil Ash but Ash parries and follows with a kick. Gothmog stumbles back gut goes back striking at Ash who parries. The two continue to exchange blows.

Meanwhile, The Undead swordsman and shield-swordsmen are fighting the Orcs with the scimitar and the scimitar-shield combo. The swordsman strikes down the unshielded orc and the two undead warriors work together to kill the other orc, slicing off one of his arms and then decapitating him.

The spearmen are fighting, too. The orc is able to get his spear into the undead spearman's gut but finds it isn't doing much and is stuck do to the barbed tip. The Undead spearman thrusts his Winged spear into the orc's gut. The wings on the spear push the orc back into the wall. The undead spearman then shield-bashes the orc in the face, crushing his face. He then pulls out the large spear head and blood gushes out. The orc falls down, dead from expedient blood lose.

  • Scimitar: X X X X X X X X X X
  • Scimitar and Shield: X X X X X X X X
  • Spear and Shield: X X X X X X X X

Evil Ash and Gothmog continue to fight. Ash is able to hit Gothmog in the left arm but with no real effect. Gothmog is enraged and headbutts Evil Ash and strikes down with his scimitar even harder. The two start to even out. However, Gothmog gets an arrow to the side. The Undead warriors start backing their lord. It is followed by an axe to the back, a spear to the side, a sword swipe to his leg and a sword swipe to his arm. Evil Ash then thrusts his sword into the orcs chest. Gothmog falls to his knees.

"Why do you not take Saurmon's offer? Why fight us?"

"You idiot!" Evil Ash yells out, "I don't need you fools! All I need is the Necronomican. And once I get it, their will be no-one to stop me."

Then then swings his sword and decapitates the deformed Orc Lieutenant.

  • Gothmog: X

"Now then, Let's get to work."


Evil Ash is standing on top of a ridge, watching over the City. He sees his undead warriors digging. Their are more of them. Many more.

"My lord." His general, one of his remaining swordsmen from the fight moments ago, walks up to him.

"What is it?"

"We have gotten many of the men out. Do you want to see them?"

Evil ash walks down the stairs with his General and views his new army. Over three thousand of them. They raise their weapons and hale their new lord. They are a terrifying sight. They were an Angry Dead. An Evil Dead. And their was an army of them. An Army of Darkness

"Ha ha ha ha." Evil Ash laughs, "WHO RULES?!"

They yell out "You, my lord!", "You Rule All!", "Hale to Our Leader!" and "Long Live the Dead King!"

The General walks to his lord, followed by the other remaining warriors form the fight with the orcs, now his Lieutenants. "There are even more to come. We think in the tens of thousands."

"Perfect! We will get that book!" Evil Ash responds. He then walks up another set of stairs and looks out at the distance.

"However, I say we have some fun with some good old sacking," looking out into Minas Tirith....


Expert Opinion[]

In probably the biggest landslide victory I have gotten (Nine to zip), the Army of Darkness had an overwhelming victory. The Orcs won in speed and they tied in metallurgy, brutality and courage but the Army of Darkness were tougher, better trained, had the stronger and longer lasting weapons and had the superior leader. The Orcs rely on their speed and numbers to win but they were even numbered and their speed did not save them. At the end, the Army of Darkness are truly the DEADLIEST WARRIORS!

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Bandit (Skyrim) (by Rare Female Online)[]

Orcs- 5

Bandits- 5

A tall, muscular orc sat on a piece of rubble. He wore iron armor and an iron-horned helmet with an iron battleaxe leaning against a damaged wall next to him. He had long black hair and a messy beard. His name was Mazosh, and he led a small bandit gang consisting of only five members. Despite their small size, they managed to do decently well. Though there were a couple of close calls with the guards in Whiterun, they were planning to leave and were currently camped in the destroyed town of Helgen. Apparently, a dragon had destroyed it, but as long as it didn't bother him, he couldn't care if it was Malacath himself who had caused the destruction. This was going to be his and his gang's new base.

He looked at his crew, who were all Nords. Hofdic and Siborn were sparring with their training swords and shields. Hofdic had short blonde hair, while Siborn had long red hair with a scar running across his eye. They wore fur armor and usually carried two basic iron swords and hide shields they stole from the blacksmith in Whiterun. He then turned his gaze towards a shorter and slimmer Nord who was practicing his Longbow skills by hitting some targets. He had short hair and had a young-looking face. After he was satisfied with his progress, he sat down and brushed off some dust from his Fur Armor. His name was Asbner. He turned his gaze towards the last member of his gang, Bronelf. Bronelf was the tallest among the Nords and stood almost as tall as Mazosh. He was a massive man with long black hair and a bushy beard that had a few gray hairs mixed in. His muscular physique was barely contained by his Fur Armor, and he was currently training with his Iron Warhammer. Mazosh rose from his seat, grabbed his axe, and addressed the Nords. "Hey, guys! Let's pack up and move to the other part of town. I want to make sure that people know that we own this town and that we're not afraid to kill anyone who comes in. Do you understand?" The Nords responded with a resounding "Aye!"

An ugly creature with greasy patches of hair on his head, and sharp teeth sat down on the ground tearing into a piece of meat, next to him were 4 other orcs, out of them he was easily the tallest and most muscular, even then he would still be shorter than most humans. This was an orc named Krozi, he was currently busy devouring some meat from a wolf he and his gang had killed earlier. They were part of a larger force planning to invade a new land for their lord. However, they had made a couple of wrong turns in a forest and ended up in a destroyed city. He hungrily picked up a piece of meat from his plate armor and devoured it, for some of it fell on his armor. He looked over at the other orcs who he led. Ulgur and Oggog had finished eating and were busy applying poisons to their scimitars. Ulgur couldn't help but eye Krozi's meat a little too intensely. Meanwhile, Locdot, an archer with long, greasy black hair, was eating his meal messily. Merba, the last orc in their small group, was adjusting his chainmail armor and scratching his leg while his spear lay beside him. Krozi finished his meal and spoke in a gravelly voice, "Come on, everyone! We don't have time to waste. Keep an eye out for any Man-Filth. If you don't, I'll chop your head off." Though arrogant, Krozi knew he had to be tough to keep his men in line. The other orcs got up and grabbed their weapons, ready to move on to the other side of the destroyed town.

Mazosh and his group were walking through the destroyed town. As they walked, Siborn got distracted and started poking at burnt bones on the ground. However, they didn't encounter any other bandits. Suddenly, Mazosh spotted a group of three creatures in the distance. He couldn't identify them, but he could see they were standing upright on two legs. He pulled out his battle axe and addressed his men. "Looks like some trouble, or as I like to call it, fun up ahead! Asbner! Climb up on that rubble and get a better look!" Asbner climbed up on a pile of rubble to get a better look and reported back, "Looks like...orcs if I had to guess, but they look way too small. Even I'm taller than most of em!" Asbner readied his bow and arrow. Mazosh then smiled, "Well men! Let's kill these pathetic excuses for Orcs and teach them a lesson!" Krozi was scolding Locdot. Locdot had dared to bump into him while they were marching, Krozi was itching to pull out his axe and teach him a lesson when he saw it. A group of 5 warriors, all of them Man-Filth! Wait no…among them was a monster of muscle, he looked like an orc. Krozi thought he was tall but this orc put a whole new meaning to the word. But that wasn't what was bothering him. That orc, if you could even call him that after what he dared to do, was fighting with the Man-Filth! Krozi completely forgot about Locdot and pulled out his axe, overcome with anger. “We got a group of men coming at us fast! Looks like they have a traitor among them! Let's have some fun shall we!” The orcs laughed and cheered and pulled out their weapons ready to slaughter, as they charged as well.

Mazosh could now see the orcs as they began to get closer to each other. He knew Asbner said they were short, but man, were they short! But he had no time to think about that as Asbner pulled back an arrow and let it fly, hitting one of the orc’s shields, causing one of the orcs to return fire, hitting Hofdic in the knee as he screamed out in pain and started hopping while holding onto his knee. “Fuck! Fuck! I took an arrow to the knee! I took an arr- The sentence never finished as another arrow flew in his neck, killing him as he dropped to the ground dead (5-4). Asbner quickly returned fire, hitting one of the Orc Swordsman in the stomach as it roared in pain and weakly continued charging. They were getting closer and closer as any second now, the true fight would begin as the two force’s front lines were about to meet. Krozi's face lit up with joy as he watched Locdot take down one of the enemy soldiers. However, his happiness was short-lived as another arrow flew through the air, hitting Ulgur in the stomach. Although he screamed in pain, he continued fighting. Krozi's grin grew even wider as he thought about how his men were stronger than the traitor's army. He was confident that they could defeat their enemies and even kill them all before the leftover meat got cold. But soon, the front lines of the two armies clashed. Thanks to Locdot, only one swordsman managed to get to his two soldiers. However, before Krozi's grin could widen any further, the enemy quickly cut open Ulgur's stomach, finishing the job the archer started, and killing him (4-4). Then he blocked an attack from Oggog with a shield and stabbed him in the leg as he screamed out in pain, then Merba came up from behind the Man-Filth and stabbed his spear through his chest, easily piercing his armor and killing him (4-3). However, the victory was short-lived when an arrow flew and hit Oggog in the neck and he fell to the ground dead (3-3).

Mazosh's army had reached the orcs. During the fight, Siborn managed to kill a wounded orc and injure another before an orc attacked him from behind and stabbed him in the chest with a spear. Asber then finished off the wounded orc. Meanwhile, Bronelf faced off against an orc spearman while an arrow hit him in the arm. Despite the injury, Bronelf swung his Warhammer at the spearman, who narrowly dodged the attack. After that, an Orc Bowman fired an arrow at Asber, who was running towards a wall, hitting him in the neck and killing him instantly (3-2). The bowman cheered in triumph, and Mazosh realized that he had to deal with the archer quickly, otherwise this battle would end up being over way too soon. While Bronelf continued fighting with the orc, he finally managed to hit the orc just barely in the shoulder, crushing it. Mazosh then charged at the orc spearman and split his head in half with his battleaxe (2-2).

Krozi was growing angrier by the second. Merba had fallen dead, his head split in two. Krozi knew he couldn't take on the two towering men. He realized he had to retreat, so he ran into one of the nearby buildings. His small size compared to the traitor and the Man-Filth allowed him to move faster and more nimbly. As he was sprinting past Locdot, he witnessed him shooting an arrow that struck the Man-Filth right in the heart, causing him to collapse dead (2-1). However, before he could even celebrate, an axe fell on Locdot's head, drenching Krozi in blood (1-1). He used the blood to his advantage and hid from the traitor while he formulated a plan. Mazosh was extremely angry. His entire gang had been killed by these pathetic orcs. He only took his eyes off their leader for a second, and he had already disappeared. Mazosh couldn't believe it. What sort of coward was he? He didn't even manage to kill one of Mazosh's gang. Instead, he just stood there giving orders. Mazosh was enraged and screamed out, “I'll show you what a real Orc can do!” Suddenly, angry growls were heard from one of the buildings. A gravelly voice said, “You dare call yourself an Orc, traitor?!” A blur came out from behind Mazosh and slammed an axe into his iron armor, leaving only a dent and a small chip as the rusty axe broke. Mazosh turned from behind him and tried to cut him in half but the orc dodged and the battleaxe slammed into the ground getting stuck as the Orc Leader went to laugh before Mazosh ran at him and just punched him. Sending him flying back into a pool of blood next to the dead carcass of the Orc Spearman as he started walking towards him without a weapon. He was going to kill this pathetic short orc a lesson. He was going to kill him slowly with his own two hands.

Krozi flew back as he felt his jaw break and he spit out more than a couple of teeth, with more than a little bit of blood. He could barely think straight as the huge orc traitor came up to him and stomped hard on his leg, crushing it. He screamed out in pain as he looked wildly for a weapon. He wasn't going to die to this orc traitor! That's when he saw it. The broken half of the spear Merba had. He then thought of a plan as he smiled and chuckled to himself. The orc traitor looked down at him, his eyes full of pure unfiltered rage. “...What are you laughing at?!” Krozi then spat blood and a tooth into his face as the huge Orc covered his eyes with his hands trying to wipe it off Krozi quickly grabbed the half of the spear. He then quickly got up as fast as he could with a crushed leg, ignoring the pain, and kicked the huge orc in the crotch. Making him lean forward, revealing the exposed bottom half of his face, Krozi then shoved the half part of the spear up. He went through the bottom of his face, stabbing through the brain, killing the huge orc instantly as he fell dead. Krozi laughed and got up, wobbling over to the battleaxe stuck in the ground, and used the rest of his might to pull it out. It was massive in his hands as he grinned. He'd have to get used to the weight but other than that, it would make a fine replacement as he roared in victory (1-0).

Expert's Opinion[]

Although the orcs and bandits were around equal in weaponry and armor, the experts believed that the Orc's actual training would give them the edge over the Bandits who spent most of their lives robbing helpless people and have no actual training.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

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Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.

Battle vs. Zombie (Romero) (by GSFB)[]

On the Pelennor fields of Gondor, during a gold colored, murky dawn, the Rock band Disturbed begins to play their song, "Down with the Sickness". As the lead singer begins sinning and the lead guitarist begins to pick up tempo, an army of 300 orcs, mostly Snagas with a few big Black Uruks of Mordor commanding, march out to face a horde of the undead, which outnumber them 10 to 1.

"Drown deep in my sea of loathing,

Broken your servant I kneel

(Will you give it to me?)

It seems what's left of my human side

Is slowly changing in me

(will you give it to me?)"

The Uruk high commander sneers, seeing the undead shamble towards them under the rising sun. They come in all ages, some ancient, some children, most of them adults or subadults. He growls at all the smaller Snagas, getting them to remain calm and disciplined. The Zombies moan.

"Looking at my own reflection

When suddenly it changes

Violently is changes (oh no)

There is no turning back now

You've woken up the demon in me..."

The Uruk commanders order the Snagas to fire arrow volleys. The Snagas comply. Though they are poor shots, there is so many Zombies about that their arrows eventually find targets. However, all but a few Zombies go down. One of the Snagas notices that only head shots bring them down. He tells this to the High Uruk, who relays it to his orcs and orders a charge. The Orcs pull out their swords, clubs, daggers, or ready their spears. The Orcs howl and roar. They charge, and the Zombies go out to meet their meal.

They Clash!

"Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

Open your hate, and let it flow into me!

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

You Mother get up come on get down with the sickness!

You --- Get up come on get down with the Sickness!

Madness is the gift, that has been given to me!"

The Orcs slash with their scimitars, strike with their clubs, or even punch the skulls of the enemy, each blow a fatal wound to the Zombies. Some however are overcome and devoured, many dying from the diseases of the Zombie teeth before they can be fully eaten. The Uruks doo better, shrugging many zombies off with ease. The Snagas bite back at the undead, but immediatelyspit out the awful decay in their mouths, opening themselves up for a counterbite. One big Snaga grabs two of the undead and ramms their heads into each other, killing both by hi awesome power. One of the Uruks bodyslams a big zombie, lifts a boudler, and smashes the fallen Zombie's head by hurling it onto him. Roars from both sides fill the fields, the battle shaking the soils. The Uruk Commanders continue to press on with orders and scimitar sweeps.

"I can see inside you, the sickness is rising

Don't try to deny what you feel

(Wil you give it to me?)

It seems that all that was good has died

And is decaying in me

(Will you give it to me?)

By now half the undead are slain. However, 200 orcs have been overpowered and butchered. The Uruks slash with their whips to keep the Snagas in line, but it is almost impossible to keep them from retreating. Yet the Zombies solve this for them, surrounding the Orcs with their numbers and driving into the remaining monsters of Mordor. The Uruks order the Snagas into better formation to deal with the instinctual pincer movement, and the Snagas themselves undergo berserker fury as they fight for their very lives, if not their very souls.

"It seems your having some trouble

in dealing with these changes

Living with the changes (oh no)

The world is a scary place

Now that you've woken up the demon in me!"

The Snagas fight well, but grow undisciplined. The Uruks try to make up for this by howling them on, but the Zombies continually chew their way towards the center orcs. The Snagas adrenaline is fever pitch, however, and the Zombies numbers are less than 800, and falling fast! Meanwhile, the Zombies have had trouble trying to get past the armor of the orcs, but eventually ther numbers give them the strength to tear it off and continue to eat. Many however have stopped fighting the orcs and devote themselves to eating the Orcish dead.

"Get Up! Come on get down with the sickness!

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

Get up come on get down with the sickess!

Open your hate and let it flow into me!

Get up and come on get down with the sickness!

You mother get up come on get down with the sickness!

You --- get up come on get down with the sickness!

Madness is the gift, that has been given to me!"

The last of the Orcs are finally seeing victory at hand. The last few zombies attacking them number but 19, while four Uruk and one Snaga remain of the orcs: enough to ensure victory. None of the Uruks have fallen, and though the remaining Snaga has his throat ripped out by a Zombie's bite, they slay the 19 and target the remaining zombies who feast on the dead Orcs. The last Zombie to die is a little girl, who snarls at the Uruks with amber/green eyes and a fury worthy of the Orc kind. The Chie Uruk smiles at the child, then slays her with a blow of his scimitar, chopping the head sideways in two.

Seeing no more Zombies, the Uruks gather in a circle and raise their swords into the air.

"For the glory of the Uruk-Hai, for the glory or Mordor, for the glory of Sauron!" the Uruks chant, though you cannot hear them due to the band Disturbed, which starts with the more chaotic, less desirable part of their song, a part that gets the Uruks attention.

The band continues the maddenign conclusion to their song, until the lead singer and head guitarist gawk and grow quiet. The other band members are about to ask them what was wrong when they notice it two. The band runs away, leaving their equipment, while the Uruks charge after them, their scimitars raised in the air, their voices like the bellows of demons of the ancient world...


Expert's Opinion[]

After considerable debate, it was determined by a majority that the 10 to 1 odds were not enough for the dumb undead to defeat well armed, armored, and super strong orc troops of Mordor especially since they had some Big Uruks alongside them.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


Battle was disregarded as unfair for the Orcs due to numbers.