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Mr. Bliss is, physically, the most powerful individual being on the face of the planet. His strength is beyond legendary.

Mr. Bliss was the physically strongest man in the Skulduggery Pleasant universe. Mr. Bliss grew up in a family that worshipped the faceless ones but broke away from their teachings at a young age and would fight against Mevolent and his disciples during the War. Continuing to work for the Irish Sanctuary he would apparently betray them to side with Nefarian Serpine but this was merely a ruse in order to better predict Serpine's actions and defeat him.

After the deaths of the elders he himself was elected elder and served alongside Thurid Guild, helping Skulduggery Pleasant to defeat the Grotesquery and destroy it's body parts so that it could not be resurrected again. Bliss was contacted by a mysterious man with golden eyes who managed to persuade him to take over as Grand Mage once the current threat posed by the Diablerie was dealt with. However while fighting in the Battle of Aranmore Farm the Faceless Ones were successfully summoned back to our dimension and when attempting to fight one, Mr. Bliss killed and his body torn apart.

Battle vs. Tesseract (by Wassboss)[]

Tesseract parks his truck on the outskirts of a field, moving into the trailer being pulled behind it. He looks over the array of masks up on the wall. He picks out one with a blank expression on it, he's meeting a new "client" today and he doesn't want to give the wrong impression. He pulls the mask he is currently wearing off, feeling the cool Irish air on his face. He doesn't look in the mirror today, he doesn't want to see how his face will be disfigured today. He puts the new mask in place, feeling the hiss as the needles sink into his face keeping the rot at bay for another day at least. He steps out of the trailer and looks around, unsure as to where his employer wishes to meet him. All he was told was to meet them here, in this field, near a building of sorts. Shrugging to himself, tesseract decides to walk further into the field, the mud squelching under his boots. After a few seconds of walking he spots a small building in the distance and changes course to head towards it.

As he approaches he realises that it is some sort of crypt with a scorpion engraved on the outside. Once he gets to a few feet of the building he hears the creaking of a door opens and part of the crypt slides open. A woman walks out of the door and immediately tesseract is hit by a strange emotion, one he has never felt before; Love. Tesseract mind is clouded with nothing but love for this woman, an unyielding desire to be forever at her side. Then almost like a haze being lifted his mind is banished of these ridiculous thoughts and he realises exactly who he is dealing with.

"Miss Sorrows"

"Tesseract I assume" comes the reply, her voice playing with the words, a question as much as a statement. "I wasn't sure if you would be able to find me at such a remote location"

"Of course I would come, I'm an assassin after all. I'm used to people finding the most secluded spot possible to conduct business with me". The woman nods her head but does not speak and tesseract waits patiently for to continue. She turns her back to him, gazing at the building.  

"You know Tesseract, this crypt is my own family crypt, all of my family is buried here, well at least the ones ones who are dead. See that scorpion, that is out family crest and my grandmother always used to tell me that a scorpion never changes it's nature. Back in my misspent youth I believed her, believed that when the dark gods returned that when they would possess me that unlike the other heathens we would meld with them and be able to harness there powers without losing all of our individuality. I was a fool back then, arrogant, young and brainwashed and it lead me down the road of violence. But now I've grown past all this and become the woman I am today, still arrogant, still young but most certainly not brainwashed"

The woman sighs before turning back to tesseract and it is now that he notices the file she is holding in her hands. She takes a step towards him and holds it out, watching him through narrowed eyes as he takes it from her. "Inside this file you will find what you need to complete your job, names, locations and times, and most importantly a picture of the man you are to kill". Tesseract tears the top open and pulls out a picture, frowning as he looks into the calming blue eyes of the man pictured before him.

"I hate to pry into my clients personal lives Miss Sorrow but this appears to be a picture of the sorcerer by the name of Mr Bliss. I like to make a file on people I am likely to end up killing and this man is none other than your own brother"

"That is indeed correct. I've tried to kill him myself 3 times already but he just won't stay down. I've tried other assassins too but they all failed. I've been told you are the best around and quite frankly if you can't kill him then i'm not sure who can"

Tesseract nods his head and slides the picture back into the file. "I'm afraid to say Miss Sorrow but for such a high profile target I'm going to have to ask for double my usual fee, I don't like to put myself at extra risk without extra reward". It's the woman's turn to frown now but it only registers on her face for a split second.

"You consider my brother to be a high profile target" she asks inquisitively.

"Well he is, physically speaking of course, the most powerful man in the world and thus he commands a significant presence in the magical community. Killing him will not be easy and will send ripples spiralling through our society for decades to come-"

The woman holds out her hand to stop him and he obliges. "Very well then, I'll pay you extra, just make sure do kill him and once you do kill him, make sure he really is dead. I've had this problem before"

"Of course Miss Sorrows" Tesseract replies and tilting his head slightly as a show of respect he turns and walks away, leaving her standing there, China Sorrows; the most beautiful and dangerous woman in the world.


The old Waxwork Museum in Dublin doesn't see many visitors these days and the exhibits haven't been updated in years. Hardly the place you'd expect to find some of the most powerful sorcerers in the world but yet, tucked away down below sits the Irish Sanctuary, presided over by Grand Mage Eachan Meritorious. "I would normally hesitate to call you out of your retirement Mr Bliss but I have important news that concerns you," Meritorious begins from atop his throne. The man he is addressing is tall, bald, with deep blue eyes and even though he stands below the Elders the power radiating from him is immense. "We've received word from a classified source that you are the subject of another assassination attempt." This raises an rare smile from Bliss.

"That's it. That's the news you felt was so urgent to warn me about. With all due respect Eachan I've been subject to more assassination attempts than I can count and none have them have even come close to being successful." 

"But this time is different, this is no mere assassin. His name is Tesseract and he has a most unusual power. Bone Breaking. This man can shatter bones with the smallest of touches and it is rumoured he can even rupture an entire skeleton in seconds. He is quick, cunning and unbelievably secretive, the fact that we've managed to find out he's even in the country, let alone that you are is target is astounding." 

Bliss ponders the information although his demeanour doesn't change. "Why summon me here though, why not just let me know by letter or by phone call?"

Morwenna Crow takes over from Meritorious. "We have considered the implications of this knowledge and have decided it would be in your best interest if we assigned a team of cleavers to you as protection detail." 

"I don't think that's necessary. I can handle any assassin, even one as seemingly impressive as this one." 

"Whether you like it or not Mr Bliss you are an important figure in the magical community here in Ireland and the rest of the world for that matter. Every precaution must be taken to ensure your safety." 

"I didn't need protection during the War and I don't need it now. Those cleavers would be a waste of valuable resources."

"Listen here," Sagacious Tome says jumping in impatiently "This assassin is dangerous, one touch to the head or chest and you're dead. End of. No matter how strong or durable you are. You need those Cleavers to make sure that there is no chance he can even get near enough to try." Bliss turns his gaze onto the Teleporter impassive as ever. Just looking into the swirling abyss of his eyes is enough to make Sagacious uncomfortable and he looks away in embarrassment. 

"I understand your reluctance," Meritorious says "But we as elders feel it our responsibility to protect those in our community even someone as renowned as yourself. If you are adamant that you will not use the Cleavers we have set aside then we will not press the issue any further." Sagacious whips his head round angrily at having his authority undermined and Bliss starts to speak before he can say anything further. 

"I respect your decision Grand Mage but I think it would be in the best interest of the sanctuary to keep those cleavers here where they can be put to good use. If the matter has been closed then I will take my leave, as important business takes me elsewhere." Meritorious nods his head slightly and Mr Bliss leaves the chamber and the Council of Elders. 


Tesseract carefully disables the last few protective symbols around Mr Bliss's house. He is impressed by the attention to detail, several times now he gone to disable one symbol only to find another positioned to stop him from doing exactly that. "Hardly surprising considering who his sister is" he ponders to himself as he renders the last symbol inactive. It hadn't taken him long to find out where Bliss was staying, a large manor house built in the 17th century, owned for centuries by his family. Making sure all the defences were down had taken him most of the day and just as luck would have it Mr Bliss had returned earlier that afternoon, denying Tesseract a chance to set up an ambush. That's the way the assassin business goes, sometimes things fall for you, sometimes they don't, although recently Tesseract had been finding the latter more common.

Sticking to the shadows he jimmies open a window and carefully explores the house, keeping an ear out for any sound of where his target might be. Entering a large library he spots a figure sitting in a chair with his back to him, a clean shaven head poking over the top of the backrest. "Maybe my luck his changing" Tesseract thinks and silently approaches the figure. His power can only be transferred through his finger tips so he reaches out and presses his fingers into the figure's skull. Immediately he realises something isn't right as he can't feel the skull fracture and break under his touch. Getting a grip and giving a quick tug, the head comes off in his hand and as he looks into the blank expressionless eyes of a mannequin he knows he's walked right into a trap. He feels the air shifting above him and rolls to the side as Mr Bliss drops from the ceiling, shaking the floor as he lands. 

"I hope you didn't think it would be that easy Assassin?" Bliss says straightening up. "This is the house I grew up in, my family made sure it was well protected. Every symbol you deactivated set of an alarm, undetectable to all but those who reside within. I've known you were coming for hours." Tesseract keeps his distance cursing his foolishness. He has fought and killed men as experienced and skilled as Mr Bliss before but rarely in a fair fight and never against someone as physically powerful. He knew bullets and blades would do nothing to harm him, that he'd need something more potent. Luckily he'd found the perfect thing. As Bliss advances he reaches into the pocket of his trench-coat and pulls out a small but deadly explosive device, enough to blow this entire room to smithereens. Activating the timer he drops it to the floor and turns fleeing from the room, knowing he only has a few seconds before he's caught in the blast. Bliss notices it almost immediately and also goes to escape but not before the timer ticks down to zero. 

The resulting explosion rocks the house, breaking all the windows in and around the library and leaving the walls shaking. Tesseract stumbles back through the hallway, his ears ringing. "I didn't think it was that damn powerful" he mummers. Taking a brief moment to regain his composure he retraces his steps and goes to slip out of the window he snuck through before. Suddenly he feels a strong grip on his shoulder and finds himself hurtling through the air, back down the corridor and slamming into the wall. Getting painfully to his feet a fist slams into his mask and another punch throws him further down another corridor. Barely able to react to the attack, he tries to grab the arm of his aggressor but is body-checked through a nearby window, flopping onto the wet grass outside. 

He gets groggily to his feet as Mr Bliss steps through the shattered window frame. He has large black scorch marks on his clothes and a few cuts and bruises to his face and hands but other than that he seems unaffected. "That's not the first explosion I've walked away from and I doubt it will be the last. I'm curious though, who sent you? Was it my sister again? One of Mevolent's old supporters? Another sanctuary?" 

"Can't tell you I'm afraid?" Tesseract says. Bliss throws another punch and he ducks out of the way of it, feeling the force of the blow as it sails over his head. More punches follow but they are not very fast and Tesseract is nimble enough to avoid them all. He does manage to grab his hand but as he closes his hand around to break it, he brushes Tesseract's fingertips. Feeling the sharp blinding pain of every bone in his hand being broken he jerks his hand away, looking down at his broken limb. If he is angry about the injury he doesn't show it, his expression remains as impassive as ever as his next punch connects, slamming Tesseract into the wall of the house, leaving a large crack. Bliss hurries over to a nearby oak tree and wraps his uninjured arm around the trunk. Heaving with all his might he uproots it, straining against the pressure to position it as a makeshift club. Tesseract extracts himself from the wall and looks up just in time to see the tree as it barrels towards him.

"You have got to be kidding me" is all he has time to do or say before half a ton of wood smashes into him, sending him sailing through the air into the distance. Sweating profusely from the effort, Mr Bliss drops the tree and, clutching his broken hand, heads back into his house to find some medical supplies.


Tesseract gazes up at the stars in the night sky, completely dumbfounded by his luck. After being launched through the air he'd been stopped, ironically, by another tree and somehow managed to tumble down to the ground without breaking a bone or getting any serious injuries. His ribs however are badly broken from the initial impact, not to mention the nasty bruises from the punches Bliss did manage to land. Propping himself up he fights back waves of pain from his injuries and focuses on getting back to his truck. Getting painfully to his feet he shuffles back in the direction he thinks he came from. "There is no way I'm going up against him again. I'll have to let Miss Sorrows know to cancel my fee. First time ever I've not completed a job."  Tesseract feels a strange sense of disappointment as his first ever failure as an assassin but it is fleeting, the fact he's still alive after trying to kill Mr. Bliss is an achievement all of it's own. "Might even get me more work" he ponders and allows himself a little chuckle, although the sharp pain from his ribs soon put a stop to that.  Winner: Mr. Bliss

Expert's Opinion[]

Bliss won because of his legendary strength and high durability which allowed him to shrug off most of what Tesseract could do to him. Tesseract may have been the superior fighter but when your opponent is just that strong then all the fighting skill in the world can't win you the fight.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

TF2 Royale (by Wassboss)[]

This warrior won a Battle of the Season Award









Chapter 1: Unions, Holy or Otherwise[]

Scout emblem REDSoldier emblem REDPyro emblem REDDemoman emblemHeavy emblem REDEngineer emblem Medic emblem REDSniper emblem REDSpy emblem RED

Standing atop the tallest building, Peter Parker can see all across the dry dusty town. The buildings are old and have seemingly been abandoned for some time and even from this high up he can see the rot set into many of the wooden parts of the structures. The quiet is something especially foreign to him and a far cry from the constant noise and bustle of New York. From his vantage point in the dead centre of the town he can see all of the control points, including his own which is located right on the outskirts. “Would it be better to capture the points nearest to mine and move out or get the ones furthest away and work back towards it” he ponders. As he thinks he notices something zipping through the air in the distance before diving down towards his control point. “Just my luck” he grumbles, leaping from his watchtower and swinging across the town.

Touching down on the ground near to his control point he hears a voice in his head telling him someone is capturing it. Crawling up the side of one of the nearby buildings, Peter edges forward until he can see onto the point itself to get a view of the person. The man on the point is dressed in a black and white costume, with vibrant orange hair standing straight up on his head and his back to him. Peter prepares to fire off a web to trap him but just as he is about to the man turns suddenly, firing off a beam of energy with envelops him in a blue glow. Peter tries to move but finds he is completely immobilized and the man lifts into the air, floating slowly towards him.

“You utter fool! Did you really think you could sneak up on me that easily!” the man says. “I’ve had my drone patrolling the area to look out of anyone coming but I bet you didn’t notice that did you! Oh I was so hoping there would be another Super in this little contest,” the man continues. “And that’s what you are right? I can tell by your costume. Very nice design I must say although it could do with a cape.”

“A cape? That’s a bit old fashioned, isn’t it?” Peter says.

“Not old fashioned no. It’s retro. Anyway what is your name?”

“I’m Spider-Man”

“Spider-Man?!” the man says chuckling. “That’s a stupid name. I’d have gone with the Human Spider personally that sounds way better. Well Spider-Man it looks like I, Syndrome, have caught you in my web.” Syndrome laughs at his own joke while Peter rolls his eyes under his mask. “The question now is what do I do with you?"

"Let me go?"

"Ha, I don't think so. You’re nice and secured inside my Zero Point Energy so you’re basically no threat but I don't really want to be lugging you about this dingy little town. I think it might be better to just kill you.”

A chamber on Syndromes right gauntlet opens out and he takes out a small I shaped device from out of it. With a wave of his wrist Peter is flung backwards, slamming into the ground, and skidding across it before smacking into a nearby wall. Syndrome presses down on a button on the device which starts beeping, revealing it as a bomb and tosses it at his downed opponent. Still recovering from the effects of the energy beam, Peter can only watch helplessly as it detonates. However out of nowhere some jumps in front him and the ground between the pair and the explosion seems to rise up, leaving them safe from the blast. Peter gets unsteadily to his feet and looks upon his saviour, a teenage boy in a school uniform with a pompadour.

“Looks like you could use some help” the kid says. “I say we deal with this guy first and then see where we stand,”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Peter says.

Syndrome meanwhile clenches his fist in anger. “You stupid brat. I’ll make you pay for that.” He fires off a beam of energy and the teenager dodges out of the way. Peter fires off a web, aiming for the gauntlet but Syndrome zips away, rising high into the sky as he continues to fire off beams of energy. Peter uses his webs to swing up into the air to meet him, sending wave after wave of webs to try and intercept him. Eventually one of them hits it’s mark, hitting Syndrome right in the face. He claws at the webbing around his eyes, touching down on the ground briefly as he tears it away to regain his vision. He doesn’t notice the kid with the pompadour running up to him and Peter watches as Syndrome is thrown back suddenly, smashing through a nearby wooden shack which collapses on top of him.

Extracting himself from the rubble Syndrome fires off another blast of energy and this time is quick enough to catch the teenager in its beam. Syndrome them takes out another bomb from his gauntlet and throws it at the helpless teenager. However the bomb stops suddenly in mid-air before suddenly shooting up into the sky where it explodes harmlessly overhead. While he is distracted Peter latches onto the gauntlet with his web, tearing it away from Syndrome’s hand and throwing it into the distance, releasing the teenager. Sensing the fight is slipping away from him the supervillain tries to flee, lifting off into the air with his aero boots. Before he can however Peter snatches one of the boots away and he careens down into the ground.

Peter lands next to the teenager, checking he is okay before turning his attention back to Syndrome. “Look let’s not do anything too hasty here,” Syndrome says worriedly. Peter extends out his wrists and a stream of webbing hits Syndrome dead on, pinning him to the wall. “Please don’t kill me,” Syndrome says in a panic.

“I’m not going to kill you,” Peter says. “But we are going to leave you stuck to that wall there for the remainder of this.” He then turns to the teenager. “Thanks for the help kid.”

“Ah it was nothing. No way was I going to let a crazy bastard like that go around killing people. I’m Josuke by the way.”

“I’m Spider-Man. Or well my real name is Peter but I guess I’m more used to being called Spider-Man.”

“Oh yeah, I thought I recognized you. My dad is into comics and stuff, pretty sure he has ones about you in his collection. But what are we going to do now? We are supposed to be competing against each other after all.”

Peter thinks for a second. “Well since we worked together so well before how about we team up. Once we’ve got everyone all trussed up like old jet boots over there, we can have a friendly duel to see who gets to capture all the control points.”

“I like that idea Mr Spider-Man.” Josuke extends his hand and the two shake. “So why don’t you go capture that point back from that idiot and then we’ll move on to the next point.”


Bliss eyes up the nearby point with caution. Located close to the middle of the town, it's bound to be a magnet for the other participants and sure enough it’s not long until he sees a man approaching from a nearby street. He is wearing a long coat and sunglasses and strolls unhurriedly towards the point, idly picking his nose. Bliss steps out from the doorway of the building he was standing in, revealing himself to the man who slows to a stop. He pulls a blob of snot out of his nose and inspects it.

“Hey Mister, you’re in the way. Get out of here and I won’t even kill you. I’m only interested in the point.” Bliss doesn’t answer instead rushing at the man. “Fine have it your way,” Mr 5 says and flicks the glob of goo at him. It hits Bliss on the chest sends him stumbling with a powerful blast but it doesn’t do any real damage and he continues on with his charge after recovering. He swings a punch at Mr Five which connects solidly and both are sent flying, Bliss from the explosion and Mr Five from the sheer force of the blow.

Bliss extracts himself from the wall he has been flung into, effectively unharmed from the blast. Mr Five isn’t as lucky and when he gets to his feet he is moving gingerly. “You hit pretty hard. It’s like taking a punch from that idiot Luffy. But I've got more tricks up my sleeve.” He pulls out an old timey revolver from his jacket pocket as Bliss runs at him again, flicking open the cylinder. Instead of loading any bullets however he instead blows into the chambers before snapping it back into place. He points it at Bliss and fires but nothing appears to come out of the chamber and the mage is confused until he is sent recoiling from an explosion.

Another blast hits him and another and another and while they don’t do any real damage to him the force of the explosions are enough to knock him about. Mr Five begins to move towards the point as he fires, occasionally taking the time to breath into each of the chambers again. Bliss tries to use these lulls in the explosions to try and get closer but each time he does another six shots are there to keep driving him back. Mr Five steps onto the point as Bliss gives up on trying to get to him directly and instead begins using the nearby buildings to cover his approach.

“Scurrying around like a cockroach, are we?” Mr Five says mockingly. “Once I’ve captured this point I’ll come and crush you like the bug you ar-”. The deafening sound of a gunshot rings out and Mr Five is flung forward, a massive gaping hole in his head and his brain matter oozing out onto the ground. Bliss looks around the source of the gunshot but he cannot see anyone anywhere. He carefully approaches the body of Mr Five and inspects the bullet wound. The size and shape reveal it to have been caused a high calibre round, probably from some sort of rifle. Knowing trying to capture the point would be suicide unless he can find and dispatch the gunman, Bliss decides to try and find the mysterious shooter, slipping into one of the nearby houses.

Demoman emblem grey scale

Jun begins to pack up his gear, knowing to stay in the same spot after a successful kill increases the chances of being found especially as the man he just killed was clearly in a fight with someone. Having already picked out a second sniping point he moves quickly and quietly. Smashing the cracked glass in an upstairs window he sets up the tripod for his sniper on the frame. Making the necessary adjustments he looks through the sights. Seeing nobody around he settles in for the wait.


Kimiko jumps across the rooftops towards the nearest control point which has the symbol of a knife floating above it. Jumping down to the ground, she steps onto the point and it begins to flash red. She looks around to see if anyone is nearby but there is nobody about. She begins to count down in her head the time left before the capture. Just as she counts fifteen, she feels a small shockwave nearby and turns to see a tall bald man in a long black trench coat that covers his entire body walk onto the point, pausing the capture for the moment.

“Damn it. I ain’t seen nobody in this godforsaken place for ages and when I finally do it’s just some little girl,” Sundowner says angrily.

“Who are you calling just some little girl?” Kimiko says, feeling her anger flare up inside.

“Run along now girlie,” Sundowner continues. “War is no place for you.”

“I’ll show you whose just a little girl,” Kimiko snaps. “JUDOLETTE FLIP FIRE,” she shouts, jumping high into the air and gathering fire around her. She lands next to sundowner the flames lashing out at him and making him jump back off the point to avoid them.

“Now that’s more like it,” he says grinning. “Maybe I underestimated you girl,” he continues, taking out Bloodlust. He dashes at Kimiko, swinging the blades as she dodges around. She ducks under a swipe and drives a kick into his stomach but is left hopping on her other foot in pain as she strikes something hard and cold. Sundowner presses on this momentary distraction and if not for an acrobatic flip away from Kimiko he would have taken her head. As she backs away, she reaches into the satchel and takes out several eagle shaped emblems. With a cry of, “Arrow Sparrow” she throws the emblems which suddenly burst into flames and head towards Sundowner. He tries to dodge out of the way but they home in on him and as he disappears around the corner, Kimiko sees a giant fiery explosion rattle the nearby houses.

“That should put that pig down for a while,” Kimiko says, going back to the point where the counter has reset back to zero. Before she can start capturing however Sundowner lands in front of her. He has discarded his black trench coat to reveal his cyborg body and four glowing red shields now protrude from his torso.

“It’ll take more than some fancy bombs to get rid of me,” he says mockingly. He lunges at her with Bloodlust and she dodges out of the way, taking out her personal Shen Gong Wu.

“Cat’s Eye Draco, Arrow Sparrow,” Kimiko says as she combines the two weapons to create a giant fiery phoenix which smashes into Sundowner. He manages to get his shields up just in time however and the flames lick around him, leaving him mostly unharmed apart from a few singed outer plates. Kimiko jumps above him and brings her leg down in an overhead kick but Sundowner is much too quick to react, raising another one of his shields. As soon as her leg comes into contact with the shield she is flung back, landing hard on the point. She cries out in pain as she looks down on her mangled and bloody leg. As Sundowner strolls over to her, she tries to get up but she can’t put any weight on her leg.

“You’ve got to help me; my leg is really badly hurt” she whimpers.

“Sorry girlie, no can do. This is War.” Kimiko tries to crawl away but Sundowner slices her clean in half with his HF blade from head to toe.

Pyro emblem greyscale

With Kimiko now dead the point should be flashing red but instead it remains in a neutral state. Sundowner looks around confused and sees a priest, leaning against one of the wooden frames that make up the cover around the point. “I was alerted to someone trying to capture my point” the Priest says, his voice deep and disinterested. “I come back to defend it and see a man butcher a child as she pleads for her life. Doesn’t that strike you as needlessly cruel?”

“You know what they say, Kids are cruel. And I LOVE TOUCHING KIDS” Sundowner says confidently. An awkward silence passes before he realizes what he just said. “I mean I’m in touch with my inner child. That’s what I meant. Anyway you’re a priest ain’t ya? You probably agreed more with what I said the first time.”

The Priest seems to ignore the jibe as he continues. “Do you believe in God? Mr...”

“Sundowner. I’m Alabama born and bred me, so of course I believe in the Almighty.”

“And do you believe your actions are just? That you will go to Heaven?”

“You know what they say Churchie; war is Hell. But it sure feels like Heaven to me. So what comes after I don’t much think about. But there’s lots of suffering and fighting in the world and He doesn’t try and stop it. And He could after all but he doesn’t. He didn’t stop me killing the girl after all. So maybe He likes the bloodshed and the suffering. But we ain’t here to have no fancy discussion about God and heaven. So you going to fight me or not?” The Priest seems to contemplate the decision for a while before speaking.

“You make some interesting points. And I think it would be a shame to have to kill someone so intriguing. May I propose an alliance?”

“No offence but I don’t need no help. Certainly not from no man of the cloth.”

“Okay then a truce. I’ll stay out of your way and you stay out of mine? Until there’s nobody else left of course but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“Okay sure. You can keep your point by the way. I ain’t interested in this silly little game I’m just here for the fight.” Sundowner says.

“And admirable mindset I’m sure,” the Priest says as he starts to leave.

“Hold on a second. I gave you my name but you never told me yours?”

“Kirei Kotomine,” comes the reply as the Priest disappears into the town.

Chapter 2: Matthew 7:15[]

Scout emblem REDSoldier emblem REDPyro emblem greyscaleDemoman emblem grey scaleHeavy emblem REDEngineer emblem Medic emblem REDSniper emblem REDSpy emblem RED

Syndrome squirms about in the webbing but no matter how hard he tries he cannot break loose. He gets a signal from his drone, informing him that a heat signature has been detected nearby. “Hey! Over here,” Syndrome shouts. He gets no reply so he tries again. “I know someone’s there; can you come and help me.” Again he is met with silence and he begins to wonder if the drone has just made a mistake when he catches movement in the corner of his eye. A man in priest robes walks into his field of vision and Syndrome breathes a sigh of relief, surely a priest would help him out of this predicament. “Am I glad to see you. Hurry, come and help me free.”

“And why should I do that?” Kirei replies.

“Because we can help each other out. Work together or something.”

“You’re already immobilized. Freeing you would just add another person I’d have to defeat in order to be victorious.”

“But I can be useful to you. I got in a fight with these two other people so I know what they can do. Surely that information would be helpful right?”

“That is true. If you tell me about the two people who defeated you then I’ll let you free.”

“Sure, sure. That sounds like a fair trade to me,” Syndrome says. He begins to describe his encounter earlier while Kirei listens. He talks about how one of them could shoot webs from his hands and move around with great agility and how the other appeared to have some sort of telekinesis. As he finishes describing his experience, Kirei nods.

“And these two, where did they go into after you’d been tied up?”

“Well first the one called Spider-Man went and recaptured his point and then they went that way,” Syndrome says flicking his head in the direction. “So now I’ve told you everything I know can you please get me down from here.”

“Why would I do that when you’ve given me all the information I need?” Kirei says.

“What! No way. We had a deal!” Syndrome says angrily.

“You are in no situation to demand anything.”

Syndrome starts to open his mouth to protest more when Kirei suddenly reaches into his robes and takes out a singular Black Key. With one sweeping wave of his hand the sword buries itself into Syndrome’s skull.

Engineer emblem greyscale

Kirei retrieves his blade from Syndromes head before assessing the situation. Syndrome had indicated the pair had headed off in the direction of his control point, although there appears to be a second one in between the two. Kirei notes that control point is currently owned by the same person who owns the control point nearby so he heads off in that direction.


“So you’re telling me you can’t see my Crazy Diamond?” Josuke says.

“Nah all I saw was that guy go flying without you even touching him. I didn’t see anything else.”

“Huh. That’s interesting. Guess I’ll keep note of that for our fight later on,” Josuke says jokingly. The pair approach the next nearest control point. “So which one of us is capturing that one? Rock, paper scissors to decide again?”

“Since I capped the last one, I think it’s only fair you cap this one,” Peter says.

“Sure thing, just wait here and I’ll be back in a second.” Josuke strolls over to the point while Peter rests against a nearby wall. He watches as the teenager takes a step on the point and freezes, his expression changing from a laidback smile to a look of worry. “Uh, Mr Spider-Man. I think you need to take a look at this". Peter shoots forth a web and swings over to stand by Josuke who points into the corner. His mood drops as he looks upon the mutilated body of a young girl.

“Who would do such a thing,” he says horrified.

“A sick bastard that’s who” Josuke says, disgust dripping from his voice. He walks over to the body and stands over it. “She’s even younger than me.”

“We’ll find the sicko who did this,” Peter says walking over to Josuke and putting his hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

“Tragic isn’t it” comes a voice from behind and the pair turn sharply. A priest stands just outside the point and immediately upon setting eyes on him Peter feels his spidey sense tingle slightly.

“You know about this,” Peter says.

“Sadly yes. This is my point. I heard someone capturing it and I returned just in time to see this poor girl have her life cruelly taken from her,” the priest says shaking his head.

“And what about the person who did this? Why didn’t you stop them?” Josuke asks.

“He was too strong, too monstrous. I knew I could not hope to defeat him. I had to flee or else I would join the girl in the afterlife.”

“But hang on a minute,” Peter jumps in. “If someone killed this girl, on your point, then why did they not capture it?”

“That I truly do not know. Maybe he does not have an interest in this contest. Perhaps he is only interested in murder and mayhem. I cannot hope to understand the mind of one who does such horrible things.”

“And this man where did he go afterwards?”

“He headed off in that direction,” the Priest says, pointing towards the centre of town. “I must warn you though he is a dangerous man. His body is not flesh and bone like you and I but is made of metal.”

“Woah. Like a terminator? Or Robocop?” Josuke says. “Well whatever he is we’re going to go and stop this guy. We can’t let him do to anyone else what he did to this girl. Right Spider-Man?”

“That’s right. The contest can wait for now, the important thing is that this maniac is stopped.”

“I am not strong enough to fight this man. I hope you will not think poorly of for not joining your crusade. I am a man of God; I am not capable of the violence needed to defeat such a monster.”

“It’s okay, don’t sweat it,” Josuke says.

““I wish you two brave young men luck," the Priest says before walking away into the town. Peter waits till he is no longer in sight before beckoning Josuke in close.

“I’ve not got a good feeling about that guy,” he says quietly.

“Why? He’s a priest, aren’t they supposed to be trustworthy?”

“Trust me Josuke when you’ve been fighting bad guys as long as I have you get a sort of sixth sense for this thing.”

“So what are you saying that he’s lying? Do you think he killed the girl?”

“I don’t think so,” Peter admits. “But I don’t trust everything he said to us. I think we should keep our wits about us when dealing with him from now on.”


Bliss finishes his sweep on the houses in the area the gunshot came from, finding little evidence of anyone about. A room on the upper floor of one of the houses had clearly been disturbed recently but there was no clues as to where the shooter had gone to. As Bliss thinks about his next move a brief glimmer of light catches his attention, coming from a set of houses a few hundred yards away. Curious, Bliss walks quietly over to the area, scanning the upper windows. At first, he sees nothing and begins to wonder if it is simply his mind playing tricks on him. However as he gets towards the farthest house in the cluster, he sees the very tip of a barrel poking slightly out of the window. Edging around the side of the building, he moves towards the door giving access to the house and takes a step in. As his foot touches the floor, he feels how loose the floorboards are and a slight creak emanates from it as he puts his weight down. He lifts his foot up and places it back outside again. “They’ve picked this place carefully,” Bliss muses, the creaking floorboards preventing him from getting into the room without alerting whoever is upstairs. He bends his knees slightly and jumps into the air, landing as softly as he can on the roof.

Bliss positions himself over where he believes the gunman to be before he jumps, slamming his feet down into the roof as he lands and smashing through it. He lands in the room below and Jun whips around in surprise. He swings his rifle around to hit the intruder but Bliss bats it aside and slams into him, sending them both crashing through the window. Jun lands on his back, scrambling to his feet as Bliss straightens up and realizes that he is facing that rare opponent who is taller than him. Jun reaches for his pistol and Bliss rushes at him, driving a punch into his chest which drives him back. He feels a stinging in his knuckle and notices the armour Jun is wearing flash with blue electricity before subsiding.

He comes at the SPARTAN again, grabbing him by the waist and slamming him into a nearby wall, hitting him with a dozen more punches as he does. He then suplexes him over his shoulder, the energy shield crackling again and again before giving out. Jun wriggles free from the sorcerers grasp and draws his knife, lunging forward and stabbing him right in the gut. The knife shudders as it connects but Bliss is unaffected and he punches him hard in the jaw. The force of the blow knocks his helmet off and it clatters to the ground as Bliss punches him twice more with even greater force. Jun is send crashing to the floor from the blow and Bliss shakes his fist, which is still sore from the effects of punching the energy shield.

Looking down at the unconscious form of his opponent, Bliss considers snapping his neck, ending his participation in the contest immediately. He opts against it but his eyes fall on the rifle which is lying in the dust nearby. He picks it up and examines it briefly before crushing it in his hands, dropping the broken weapon on the floor. Satisfied the man is no longer a real threat to him, he moves on, leaving Jun behind.


“Where the fuck is everybody,” Sundowner shouts angrily. He kicks a nearby lamppost and it crashes to the ground. “Is everyone here a yellow-bellied chicken shit?”

“Not everyone,” comes a familiar voice as Kirei walks out into the street.

“Oh great it’s church boy again. Look mister I’m going to have renegade on our deal from earlier cause there is no other fucker here and I’m itching for a fight.”

“Don’t be so hasty,” Kirei says calmly. “Not when there are far more worthy opponents than I about.”

“Oh yeah. And where the hell are they?”

“Looking for you actually. Two of them came across my point earlier, saw what you did to the girl. Didn’t seem too happy about seeing your handiwork”

“No shit. Then where are they?”

“They’re heading towards that control point in the centre of town. The one with the crosshair symbol over it.”

“Oh shit I just came past there. I would’ve missed them. Good thing you warned me.” Sundowner rushes off back towards the centre of town. Kirei watches him go, outwardly unbothered but inwardly smiling at the thought of the chaos to come.

Chapter 3: Red Sun Over Paradise[]

Scout emblem REDSoldier emblem REDPyro emblem greyscaleDemoman emblem grey scaleHeavy emblem REDEngineer emblem greyscaleMedic emblem REDSniper emblem REDSpy emblem RED

Josuke crouches over the body lying sprawled out on the ground, a single bullet wound through his head. “I don’t think this guy was killed by the same person,” he says. “This is much cleaner, looks like it was a professional marksman who did this.”

“So where do we go from here then? The priest said he was heading towards the centre of town but we don’t know where he went after that. We don’t even know what his emblem is so we can’t tell which of the control points are his,” Peter replies.

“There are two neutral points to the east,” Josuke says gesturing. “Nobody besides us has more than two points so they must have belonged to this man and the girl. Maybe he went that way. I’ll try and figure out where this shooter went. He isn’t the man we’re looking for but it could help to know where he is.”

“I’ll climb to the top of the point, see if I can spot anybody,” Peter says and he leaps away. Josuke summons Crazy Diamond and taps the mans head, the bullet slowly floating out and away. He follows after it, hoping it will lead to whoever the shooter was. The bullet travels in a straight line for a bit before zipping down a side street and Josuke quickens his pace so as not to lose track of it. He turns the corner and sees a heavily armoured man lying face down on the floor. Hurrying over to him he is relieved to see he is still breathing although by the look of his face he has taken quite a beating.

“Hey, are you okay Mister?” Josuke says, gently shaking him. The man slowly starts to come round, rising onto his knees with a groan.

“I think so,” Jun says as he rubs his aching head. Josuke notices the man’s demeanour suddenly become a lot colder and he gets to his feet. He reaches for a gun and Josuke sends forth Crazy Diamond, who snatches it away.

“Woah calm down there. I’m only here to help.”

“How do I know you won’t kill me?” Jun replies.

“If I wanted to kill you, I’d have already done it when you were unconscious.”

“That is true.”

“See, we might be competing against each other but nobody needs to die. I’m Josuke.”

“Jun.”

“Well Jun I’m wondering if you could help me out. You wouldn’t have happened to see anybody with a cyborg body coming past, have you?”

“Are ya’ll talking about me?” Sundowner says, walking out from off the main street.

“Are you the one who killed the girl?” Josuke says.

“Yeah, that was me. Put up a good fight she did.”

“You didn’t need to kill her though. Especially not like that,” Josuke says, disgust dripping from his voice.

“She knew what she was getting into. War ain’t pretty kid.”

“Well your face won’t be pretty once I’m finished with it,” Josuke shouts. He tosses the gun back to Jun and runs at Sundowner. The cyborg’s shields begin to move around his body but Crazy Diamond is much quicker to react and a double handed punch sends Sundowner reeling. He draws Bloodlust as Josuke follows in with his attack, Crazy Diamond throwing punch after punch after punch. It is quickly apparent that Sundowner is not able to see the Stand as nearly all of them land and his own strikes are aimed at Josuke, each of which are easily batted away by Crazy Diamond. After taking one too many punches to the face he leaps backwards to give himself some breathing space.

“Damn kid. How are you doing that?” he says. Josuke doesn’t answer instead coming at him again with Crazy Diamond. “Whatever it is, I like it. You’re putting up a better fight than the girl that’s for sure,” Sundowner says grinning. This time when Josuke gets in close enough to throw a punch he jumps over it, clearly having figured out a way to tell when an attack is coming without seeing it. Now behind Josuke he is about to swing his blade when he hears gunshots ring out behind him. His shields rise up almost instantly to block them and leaves Josuke for the time being, rushing over to Jun who is trying to reload his magazine. Smashing into him with his shields up, the explosion sends Jun flying and he lands on a nearby roof, his energy shields flashing furiously.

Satisfied he is dealt with for now, Sundowner turns his attention back to Josuke just in time to feel the air shift as another attack from Crazy Diamond comes at him. Sundowner charges forward, shields up in front to protect him and they flash as they detonate. A rhythmic beat of explosions and flashes commence as the Stand pummels the shields. Sundowner slowly begins to creep forward, forcing Josuke back until he is backed up against a wall. Mustering up all his strength the cyborg darts forward and Josuke is forced to jump away as he slams hard into the wall, smashing through it and leaving debris everywhere. Josuke lands awkwardly and feels a sharp pain as his ankle twists. Sundowner, meanwhile, clambers through the hole he just made.

He runs at Josuke again who once more sends Crazy Diamond to intercept. However this time Sundowner is expecting it and swerves around where he predicts it will be. His prediction is correct as he feels no resistance as he barrels on towards Josuke, now defenceless. He raises Bloodlust, ready to cut Josuke into pieces when he feels something latch onto his legs. He flips forward onto his stomach and growls in frustration as Josuke hobbles away to a safe distance. “What the fuck,” he rages, looking behind him to a person in a red costume. “Is that motherfucking Spider-Man?” he says in disbelief.

“You’ve heard of me then,” Peter says. Sundowner slashes at the webbing around his legs to free himself.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of ya. Thought you were some comic book character not a real person.”

“Unfortunately for you I am real. And I’m not letting you hurt my friend.” Peter says.

“You’ve got guts kid; I’ll give you that. However I’m going to have to rip those guts outta you for the buzzards to feed on,” Sundowner retorts, settling into a fighting stance ready to face this new foe.

-----  

Kirei sees the emblem above one of the nearby points begin to flash red, indicating someone is capturing it. He decides to investigate, walking towards it unhurriedly. As he rounds the side of the surrounding walls, he comes face to face with the person capturing the point, a tall bald man with pale blue eyes. “Excuse me sir. I believe you are involved in this contest as well, correct?” The man doesn’t answer instead darting forward suddenly and throwing a punch which Kirei sidesteps, feeling the sheer power of the blow as it skims past him. “There is no need for us to fight. We could work together. There are others here who pose a much greater threat,” Kirei says calmly, hoping to turn the situation back around.

The man pauses in the middle of another punch, as if he is contemplating the suggestion. Kirei relaxes slightly but he soon rues this action as the man throws a punch with his other hand, catching him off guard and almost connecting if not for the most agile of flips. “Clearly this man is not interested in alliances,” Kirei thinks. When the man comes to attack him again, Kirei steps forward within the arc of his punch and slams his fist into his ribcage right above the heart. Bliss drops to his knees and Kirei looks down on him disinterestedly, waiting for him to die. He is surprised however when the man rises suddenly, grabbing him by his frock and planting a headbutt right into his face. Kirei is sent flying, flipping in a summersault, and landing on his feet a fair distance away.

A trickle of blood drips down from his nose and he wipes it away wondering how his opponent managed to survive such a strike. He doesn’t dwell on this however drawing several of his Black Keys, throwing them at Bliss as he strides towards him. He doesn’t even attempt to avoid them instead flicking his arms at them as if to knock them away. However they imbed themselves into him, throwing off his momentum and staggering him. Kirei uses this opening to close the distance, swinging a kick at Bliss’ head. He blocks it with his shoulder and Kirei follows up with another kick in the jaw which sends him reeling.

Kirei clasps his hands behind his back as his opponent spits blood onto the ground and he sees a flicker of emotion cross the man’s face; anger or wariness he is unable to tell. Bliss rolls his shoulders before resuming the fight and sends several jabs his way but each one is simply dodged. Kirei quickly catches onto the rhythm of the punches and goes on the counter, striking with a lightning fast jab of his own which crunches into Bliss’ already injured jaw. He grimaces but does not flinch, reaching out and grabbing Kirei by the shoulders. He tries to shake loose but the grip is strong and Bliss swings around, lifting the priest off his feet. He releases to send Kirei hurtling through the air in the direction of the point. He tries to correct in the air but the speed he is going at makes it hard. Just before he hits the point, he manages to right himself, kicking off the side of the point to land safely on the ground.

He straightens up and looks around for his opponent but he is nowhere to be seen. He muses on the fight, once again wondering how the man survived a punch to the chest like that. It should’ve shattered the man’s ribcage into his heart and killed him instantly but yet he was not only able to survive but also continue to fight unimpeded. “Alone I can manage him but if he should meet up with the others…” Kirei says to himself. He looks at the point, briefly considering if he should capture it, especially as it is neutral and would not alert anyone. He decides against it, knowing the priority is to find this man and kill him before he has a chance to ally with anyone.

-----

Peter flips over Sundowner as he charges at him, landing in a crouch and shooting out webs in an attempt to tangle him up. His shields quickly swivel around to block them, a familiar red flash indicating they have connected. Josuke attacks from the front with Crazy Diamond, making Sundowner back away slightly as he manoeuvres his shields back into place to block the punches. Peter uses the distraction to fire off another web to latch onto the metal rods attaching the shields to Sundowners body. Pulling with all his might, he feels the rod buckle and then break. He flings the broken shields off into the distance and Josuke takes full advantage of the cyborg’s lack of defence as Crazy Diamond driving a punch into Sundowners face.

“That was a clever move,” Sundowner says, rubbing the spot he was struck as he backs away. He clicks the separate swords of Bloodlust together in their shears form and twirls them around, slicing through another web from Peter just before it connects. He lunges for him, grunting in frustration as the superhero effortlessly dodges around the attack. He fires two webs right into Sundowners face to blind him before driving a double footed kick into his chest. He stumbles back right into Josuke and his Stand slams punch after punch into his back. Sundowner turns and swings his sword at the same time, the blade bouncing off Crazy Diamond without doing any harm.

Peter shoots out another web, this time aiming for Bloodlust. He manages to get a grip on it, yanking it away. Now weaponless, Sundowner takes several more punches from Crazy Diamond as he moves into a more defensive stance. Suddenly he drops down and slides forward, going underneath the Stand and going for Josuke. He grabs the teenager in a bear hug and slams him into the ground as hard as he can, knocking him unconscious as his head bounces hard off the ground. Peter rushes in to help but Sundowner picks up Josuke and hurls the unconscious teen at him. He jumps over him and twists in the air, turning round to create a web net which Josuke hits, coming to a stop and lying safe in the webbing.

Turning his attention back to Sundowner he sees the cyborg has retrieved his weapon and is running right at him. He shoots webs at his feet to entangle him but Sundowner is used to this trick by now, jumping up and over the web. He swings his sword as he lands, narrowly missing Peter as he just about manages to move out of the way. He throws a punch of his own which Sundowner blocks with his arm and then returns the favour with another swing of his sword. Peter tries to dodge it but Sundowner switches his attack at the last second, catching him off guard and burying the tip into his shoulder. He pushes down, pinning him to the ground with the blade and making the superhero cry out in pain. Sundowner snaps off the second blade, leaving him pinned to the ground. “You fought well,” he says as he stands above him. “I haven’t had a fight that good in years, really got the old blood pumping, not that I have much of that left with this new body of mine. Unfortunately you had no chance really.”

“Yeah, and why’s that,” Peter says through gritted teeth, fighting against the pain.

“Cause I’m FUCKING INVINCIBLE” Sundowner shouts, a shit eating grin plastered over his face. He raises his blade above him and Peter looks away, waiting for the inevitable. After a few seconds pass with nothing happening he looks back up to see Sundowner stood rigid, a hole smack bang in the middle of his forehead. The cyborg reaches up to feel it, a look of confusion on his face before the sound of two pops as two more holes appear in his head. He topples backwards, his face still confused and Peter turns his body as much as he is able, seeing Jun stood with his pistol raised.

“He doesn’t seem too invincible to me,” the Spartan says quietly.

Soldier emblem greyscale

Jun walks over to Peter, holstering his gun and gently pulling the sword out of his shoulder. He takes the superhero’s good arm and helps him to his feet. Josuke, who has regained consciousness, walks over to the pair. “That looks nasty,” he says indicating the gaping hole through Peter’s shoulder.

“I’ve had worse, at least it wasn’t my back,” Peter says grimacing.

“It’s okay, my Crazy Diamond can fix that right up for you.” Josuke steps in close and Peter feels a pressure on his shoulder as if someone is grabbing onto it. The pain starts to ebb away and looking at his shoulder he can see the skin, muscles and tendons beginning to heal. Once the Stand has finished, he can barely tell that there was even a wound there to begin with and he swings his arm in a circle testing it.

“Wow, that’s a pretty useful thing to have,” he says in awe.

“Yeah, it comes in handy. Unfortunately I can’t use it on myself otherwise I could do something about this twisted ankle of mine,” Josuke says. “What about you, are you hurt at all?” he says turning to Jun.

“My shields and armour took most of the damage so I’m fine.”

“That’s good,” Josuke says. “So what do you think about sticking with us for a while? Me and Mr Spider-Man have a little arrangement where we work on beating everyone else and then have a spar to see who gets the overall win. We can include you in that if you want?” Peter watches Jun carefully as he seems to ponder the decision but he doesn’t sense any danger from him.

“Sure,” Jun replies after a while. “I’m a Sniper you see but I ran into someone else before and he destroyed it so I’m a bit out of my element. Plus if I run into him again, I don’t think I could beat him alone.”

“Well you won’t be alone,” Josuke says smiling. “You’ve got us now.”

Chapter 4: Dropping Like Flies[]

Scout emblem REDSoldier emblem greyscalePyro emblem greyscaleDemoman emblem grey scaleHeavy emblem REDEngineer emblem greyscaleMedic emblem REDSniper emblem REDSpy emblem RED

Now sure he has lost the Priest; Bliss stops to inspect the extent of his injuries. He fingers the tears in his coat and shirt, feeling a wetness. He frowns at the smattering of red on his finger when he removes it. “This is the first time something has caused me to bleed in almost three centuries” he thinks. His ribs are also digging painfully into his flesh and he can tell at least a few of them are broken. His jaw still stings from the kick however it is not as serious as the other injuries. His thoughts go back to the man who inflicted these injuries on him and he feels a sense of trepidation at the thought of having to fight him again. “Four centuries of being the strongest man in the world and now I run into someone more powerful than me” he thinks, cursing his luck.

Banishing these thoughts from his mind for the time being, Bliss takes a look around. He can see three points which are currently neutral, one is owned by him and the rest are owned by the other remaining contestants. Annoyingly, all the neutral points are on the other side of the town. The nearest point to him has the emblem of a winged foot above it and looking around he can see there is another point with the same emblem above it, in fact it is the second closest to him. He decides to check out the nearest point, figuring that whoever the person with that emblem is heading east.

As he approaches his eyes are drawn to a collapsed wooden building, indicating there had been a confrontation here recently. His suspicions are confirmed when he spots a person, suspended up against a wall in some sort of white webbing. They are not moving and as Bliss gets closer, he can see blood pooling down from a wound directly in the man’s forehead.

“Unfortunate isn’t it.” Bliss whirls around to see the Priest. “You left a trail of blood from our fight earlier,” Kirei continues, seemingly reading Bliss’ mind.

“I take it you were responsible for this,” Bliss says indicating Syndrome.

“Yes. It was mercy more than anything. If some of the others in this contest had found him his death would have not been quick. But their needs be no more bloodshed here. We can work together.”

“I don’t trust you,” Bliss says.

“Very well,” Kirei says with a sigh. He covers the distance between them in the blink of an eye and Bliss is barely able to raise his arms in defence from the punch aimed right at his throat. Kirei then sweeps his legs, sending him tumbling to the ground before aiming a kick at his head which rocks his skull. The priest then reaches down, grabbing him by the head and attempting to snap his neck. Mustering up all the strength he can Bliss wrenches himself free, snaking out a punch to the gut which knocks him back. Bliss leaps at him from a crouch, not wanting to give him any time to recover but even this is too slow as Kirei draws and throws half a dozen Black Keys into Bliss as he barrels towards him. The force staggers him and when he brushes the blades out of his torso, he can feel the blood spurting out.

He defends himself from several more of Kirei’s attacks but the blood loss from his wounds is starting to take its toll. As a punch slaps weakly off his forearm he realizes too late this was merely a feint as a Kirei’s knee slams into his gut. If his ribs weren’t broken before they are now as a wave of pain wells up inside him. A flash of steel and a sharp searing pain in his chest is next to follow and he looks down to see a black key sticking out of his chest, piercing through his enhanced skin, and jabbing into his heart. He drops to the floor, propping himself up with what strength he has left as Kirei looms over him. “End it,” Bliss says quietly, accepting his defeat.

“No. I have other plans for you yet,” Kirei says before Bliss’ vision goes black.


“Control point is being captured”

“Hey guys, I just got a warning one of my control points is being captured,” Peter says to Josuke and Jun.

“Which one?” Josuke asks.

“The one I originally started with, back where we fought Syndrome.”

“Well, we’d better get over there then, see who it is and-,” Josuke starts when suddenly he stiffens. “Uh we may have a problem. I’ve just got an alert saying my control point is being captured as well. And it’s my original one as well which means…”

“It’s on the opposite side of the town,” Peter finishes. “So, which one do we go for?”

“Honestly, I think we should split up,” Josuke says reluctantly. “You’re pretty fast with your web slinging so if you go back and see who’s at your point, me and Jun can go to mine and deal with whoever is there. And if you can’t handle whoever is at your point you can always come back to us and then we’ll all go together.”

“I think that sounds like the best course of action,” Jun chimes in.  

“Yeah, I think I agree,” Peter says. “I’ll meet you at your point. If I’m not there in five minutes then I’m in trouble so come and help me.”

“Of course, Mr Spider-Man. Good luck.” Peter latches himself onto the nearest building and begins swinging back to his point. He’s about half way there when he hears a voice in his head telling him his point has been captured. Picking up the pace he touches down next to his point about twenty seconds later. His spider senses flare up and he readies himself for an ambush but to his surprise he finds a man lying face down on his point, not moving. He hurries over to him and touches his neck, feeling a very weak pulse. Turning him gently him over onto his back he is shocked to see several large blades jabbed into the man’s body.

“Who did this to you?” he asks.

“Th-the priest,” Bliss says weakly. “He pinned me to the roof above the point. I think he was trying to set a trap.”

“I knew he couldn’t be trusted,” Peter says angrily. “It’s okay, there’s a friend of mine who can heal you up. I can get you to him.”

“No. It’s too late for me,” Bliss says. “Stop the priest, he’s too dangerous, too powerful.” With these last words Bliss slumps back, his breathing slowly to a halt.

Heavy emblem greyscale

With Bliss’ death the point returns to a neutral state and despite wanting to rush off to find Josuke and Jun, Peter waits to complete the capture for what seems like the longest twenty seconds of his life. Once the point has been captured, he swings away, hoping his allies are safe.


“Huh that’s strange,” Josuke says.

“What is?”

“The capture on my point has just stopped. Which doesn’t make sense right? Surely, you’d finish a capture you’d started right?”

“Unless you were interrupted while doing it,” Jun says. “We should be careful.” The pair approach the point, Jun drawing his pistol. It is eerily silent, no sounds of a nearby fight and when they get to the point there does not appear to have been any sort of struggle. “Something’s not right here,” Jun says. Josuke is about to respond when something blurs towards him and Crazy Diamond’s arm launches out of his chest, grabbing the projectile mere inches from burying itself into his flesh. Jun immediately points his pistol in the direction of the projectile but before he can even fire, he is thrown off his feet.

Josuke recognises the attacker as the priest he encountered earlier. Kirei ignores him for the time being, instead making a beeline right for Jun who is starting to get up. He fires his pistol which Kirei blocks with his forearms before slamming into him and grabbing him by the neck. With one swift movement he snaps his neck, dropping the Spartan’s limp body to the ground.

Sniper emblem grey

“What the hell,” Josuke shouts angrily. Crazy Diamond emerges fully and he runs at Kirei who grabs Jun’s gun from his hand and fires off the remaining of the clip. The bullets are easily batted away by the Stand and Kirei tosses away the now empty pistol and ducks under a punch from Crazy Diamond. He slams a fist into its torso but it has no effect whatsoever and a second punch does connect, sending Kirei sprawling to the ground. He scrambles away and tosses several of his Black Keys to cover his retreat. Most of these are caught by Crazy Diamond but one of them strikes it in the shoulder but much like Kirei’s punch it also has no effect on it.

“Ah, so that spirit you control is immune to conventional attack,” Kirei says. “It must function similarly to a servant.”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about but I’m about to serve you up a beating,” Josuke retorts. As Crazy Diamond throws a barrage of punches, Kirei has his work cut out trying to avoid them all. He backs up into one of the buildings and Josuke and his Stand follow him in. As the fight continues inside, Crazy Diamond slowly begins to demolish the area around, destroying the furniture and even smashing several holes in the wall. Inside the enclosed space Kirei struggles as he can’t make use of his full mobility to keep out of the way of all the punches. Several manage to sneak through his defences and stagger him and sensing weakness Josuke subconsciously starts to step in closer, eager to finish the fight as quickly as possible.

Kirei notices this and when a powerful downward swipe comes from Crazy Diamond, rather than attempt to dodge it he instead lowers himself and raises his arms above his head to block the attack. This gives him an opening to get around the Stand, lunging towards Josuke and aiming a punch for his chest. Crazy Diamond rushes back to intercept the punch but it can only divert it and it still strikes Josuke in the arm, a sickening crunch indicating a broken bone. Josuke cries out in pain and Kirei swings a kick at him, smashing him in the leg. It buckles and Josuke only just manages to stop himself from falling.

Kirei moves in for the killing blow but before he can something hard smashes into the back of his head, knocking him down. As he rises a brick smashes into him, followed by another and another. He holds him arms up to protect his face, unsure as to what is happening until he notices the bricks slotting back into one of the holes Crazy Diamond had made earlier. When the bombardment of bricks stops, he looks around for Josuke and sees him hobbling away towards the exit. As he reaches the door, Crazy Diamond tears it off of its hinges, hurling it at Kirei who ducks under it. Once Josuke is through the doorway, the door lifts off the floor where is landed, again facilitating a duck from Kirei before slotting neatly back into place.


Hurtling through the air, Peter swings with reckless abandon towards the meeting point. He is relieved to see that the point is still showing as belonging to Josuke but his relief isn’t long lasting as when he gets closer, he can feel his Spider-Senses spike suddenly. Landing right on the point he spots Jun lying on the floor and he rushes over to see his neck has been wrenched horribly out of shape, clearly indicating he is dead. He can’t see Josuke anywhere however and he shouts out to him but there is no answer. Looking around frantically he quickly spots one of the buildings has several holes smashed into it and heads over to that, running through the door to see the inside a complete mess. A door on the other side of the building is flung open onto the street and Peter goes through that emerging into a maze of alleyways.

Peter jumps up onto the roof of a nearby building. “Josuke!” he shouts.

“I’m over here” comes a feint shout from off in the distance. Peter starts running across the rooftops in the direction of the shout. He calls out to Josuke again but this time he doesn’t get a response. He does however hear the sound of crashing and banging coming from a short distance away. As he gets closer, he hears a cry of “DORA DORA DORA DORA DORA”, which he recognizes immediately as Josuke’s stand cry. Zoning in on the area the noise is coming from, the sound of fighting subsides until there is a deathly silence.

“Josuke! Are you okay!” Peter calls out, his anxiety growing as he gets no response. He jumps down into the street where he heard the sound of the fight and what he sees gives him a knot in his stomach. Josuke is sat up against a wall, his eyes wide open and glazed over, a single long blade sticking out of his throat.

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“Poor kid,” Peter says quietly, feeling a lump in his throat. He walks over to Josuke’s body, reaching down and closing his eyelids. “I should have done better,” he murmurs. “But I swear Josuke I’m going to win this. For you. For Jun. For all the others that evil bastard has killed.”

Chapter 5: The Tangled Web We Weave[]

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Once again having returned to the highest point of the town, Peter takes stock of the situation at hand. Currently he owns the two westernmost points and the Priest owns one. The other six points are all neutral so Peter realizes that everyone else in the contest has been eliminated, it is now only the two of them left. “My best bet is to start capturing the point closest to the ones I own and then continue moving east,” he decides. Dropping from his vantage point, he plummets towards the ground, waiting from the momentum to build before shooting out a web. As he swings through the air towards the point he scans the area below him, looking for Kirei but seeing nothing but empty streets. Reaching the first of the neutral points he touches down on it, beginning the capture process.

There is no sign of Kirei as the twenty seconds pass and as Peter turns his attention to the next closest point he sees why as the knife emblem hangs over it. Instead of swinging towards it Peter instead climbs over the buildings between it, running over to the point to find Kirei stood on it, hands by his side, seemingly calm. “It would seem that we are the final two,” the Priest says.

“Only because you killed all the others!” Peter shouts angrily.

“That’s not true though is it. Remember her?” Kirei says gesturing to the body of Kimiko, which still lies in the corner of the point. “Or the one who did this. His point has turned neutral which means one of you or your allies must’ve killed him.”

“He was dangerous. We tried to subdue him non-lethally but we couldn’t. Jun had to kill him or he would’ve killed us.”

“Then how can you moralize with me about the act of killing? You freely admit that sometimes people have to die. Yet you scorn me when I kill but give your friends the freedom to kill as long as they can justify it? Given the situation was I not justified to end life in my pursuit of victory as you and your allies have done?”

“Josuke was just a kid. He wasn’t a bad guy. He wasn’t a killer. And you can’t justify killing him as just a by-product of you winning, you could’ve subdued him and captured the points,” Peter argues.

“Perhaps. But the methods I used are more much more effective. As you can see, it has left me with only one more obstacle to victory.”

“And that would be me, right?”

“Regrettably yes,” Kirei says.

“Well you can try to kill me. Plenty have before. But even despite what you’ve done to my friend I won’t stoop to your level,” Peter says, tired of talking. He shoots out a web but Kirei is expecting it and the web splats harmlessly against the wall of the point. He draws and throws half a dozen black keys which Peter dodges before ducking under the follow up punch from Kirei. He returns with a punch of his own which is blocked and he gets a knee to the gut for his troubles. He tries to back away and put some space between the two but Kirei doesn’t let him, following in with a flurry of punches and elbows which takes all of Peter’s agility just to avoid being hit by.

Peter changes tact, moving in close instead of trying to back up and shooting a web at point blank range which latches onto Kirei’s hand, pinning it to his body. Another web latches onto his other arm with the same effect and Kirei struggles against the bonding as Spider-Man jumps into the air. He turns his body to block the swinging kick with his shoulder, the force from the momentum driving him back. Another pair of webs latch onto his feet and Kirei falls flat on his face, grunting in annoyance.

Peter lands down next to him, coating him with more and more webs until he is immobilized on the ground. Satisfied that he has been neutralized as a threat he returns to the point, replacing the knife emblem with a winged foot emblem as the twenty seconds elapses. He looks over at Kirei, who is thrashing violently against the floor but not seeming to have much luck escaping. “Hopefully that keeps you occupied while I finish this,” Peter shouts mockingly before swinging off to get the rest of the points.

The next several points are captured without fuss and as the eighth point flashes up with his class emblem Peter knows he is only one point away from victory. As he swings towards it his trajectory takes him over the alleyway where he found Josuke’s body and he can’t help but glance down at where he left the teenager. Blinking away the tears starting to form in his eyes as he lands near to the final point, he feels another twang of guilt at seeing Jun’s body again but doesn’t let it slow him as he runs towards it. He’s only a few metres away when his spider senses begin to tingle.

He swivels around, catching a pair of black keys right before they bury themselves into his neck. Throwing them to the ground he catches a flash of movement to his left and he moves to block but he is much too slow and an elbow slams into his jaw. A punch to the temple fills his vision with stars and he flails about, swinging his fists wildly in an attempt to hit his opponent. Nothing connects however and as his vision starts to unblur and right itself he let’s out a gargled grunt as a punch to the neck drops him to his knees. “If you’d killed me back there then you would’ve won,” Kirei says. “Do you see now why your path of mercy has led to pain, suffering and failure?”

Peter swings at kick at Kirei’s shin but it is easily blocked and a kick to the head sends the superhero sprawling. Fighting off waves of darkness to keep himself conscious he tries to crawl away to give himself space as Kirei strides over to him. He throws an uppercut which Kirei dodges however this was merely a ruse as a web shoots out from Peter’s rising fist, latching onto the windowsill of the building above. Rising up he smashes a kick into Kirei’s face which knocks him off his feet. Kirei lands gracefully turning to see the building his opponent had latched onto was in fact the final control point, where Peter now stands, the neutral emblem above flashing red.

Kirei does not hesitate, rushing towards the point, counting down the seconds until capture in his head. He reaches for his black keys but Peter fires off a web which rip them from his hands, sticking them to a nearby wall. More webs come thick and fast at the priest who weaves his body around to avoid them, running in a zig-zagging and erratic movement to try and stop Spider-Man from predicting his movements. As he counts past the ten second mark, he realizes he won’t get to the point in time with this strategy. Peter fires another web which Kirei ducks under, reaching for his final black key and tossing in one quick movement. Without time to properly aim the blade isn’t particularly accurate but it is close enough that Peter has to move to avoid being hit and Kirei uses the distraction to leap forward, covering the last few metres towards the point in one bound.

Just as he is about to touch it however another web latches onto his arm, yanking him back and attaching him to the overhanging arch on the inside of the point. He dangles just over it, his feet only inches away from touching the point and halting the capture. Peter rushes forward as Kirei tries to break free, shooting more webs to reinforce the first one so that he cannot break free. He then jumps up at him, twisting his body to avoid the kick Kirei sends his way and driving a kick of his own into Kirei’s jaw, smacking his brain into the top of his skull and knocking him unconscious.

Touching back down onto the point, Peter sighs in relief as the capture finishes and the final control point switches from neutral to his winged foot emblem. Leaving Kirei hanging limply from the point he walks off the point and into the street, looking up at the sky and blazing sun above which shines like a diamond. “That was for you Josuke,” he says with a sad smile, as the simulation ends and the world around him starts to crumble into darkness.

Expert’s Opinion[]

9Th Place: Mr.5, 18 Points

Mr.5 had a decent powerset but lacked in mobility and durability meaning he couldn’t really avoid fights nor last that long once people closed the distance. His arrogant personality also meant he couldn’t really make allies with all these factors combining to leave him in last place.

8th Place: Kimiko Tohomiko, 19 Points

Kimiko finished slightly higher than Mr. 5 with her greater mobility meaning she was better poised to capture points and avoid fights. However her lack of durability, hot-headedness, and unwillingness to kill meant she was at a massive disadvantage against the rest of the roster.

7th Place: Syndrome, 27 Points

Syndrome actually had a power-set that seemed almost perfect for this scenario, with his aero-boots giving him the best mobility out of anyone and his zero point energy gauntlets are a great tool for immobilizing. However the man behind the gadgets was arrogant and a show-off and Syndrome would inevitably attract attention onto himself and set himself up as a target. He also lacked in combat experience so would be likely to panic when things stopped going his way.

6th Place: Sundowner, 50 Points

Sundowner was probably the more powerful person here in terms of pure combat ability, with his cyborg body giving him the speed, strength, and durability to take on any of the other contestants. However it’s because of this fighting ability that he ended up drawing a target on his back and incentivising other warriors to team up and take him down especially with how bloodthirsty he was.

5th Place: Mr Bliss, 52 Points

Mr Bliss had the widest range of placements out of anyone and so it’s fitting he ended up finishing dead in the middle. Bliss was very strong and very durable which allowed him to stay alive for a long time but he lacked anything special to propel him into the upper rankings.

4th Place: Jun-A266, 53 Points

Jun’s focus on stealth and his skill as a marksman meant he could avoid the early skirmishes by simply setting up a sniper nest and waiting for people to come to him. His MJOLNER Armour also gave him good protection if he was found and his patient and calm personality meant he wouldn’t panic in the heat of combat. However at this point he could no longer simply hide away from the fighting and Josuke, Kirei and Spider-Man could all beat him in a straight fight.

3rd Place: Josuke Highashiktaka, 75 Points

Josuke had a lot going for him in this royale. Crazy Diamond is an incredibly powerful stand with an incredibly versatile ability and these advantages were only heightened by the fact that most of the other warriors here couldn’t even see it. Josuke is also friendly and easy to get on with which would secure him allies early on. It’s not surprise that many people tipped him to survive and he was the only warrior other than the winner to get a first place vote. However he simply did not have the mobility of Spider-Man nor the kill Instinct of Kirei which left him stuck in third.

2nd Place: Kirei Kotomine, 80 Points

Kirei was the only warrior in this royale to not have a single deviation in his placement rankings, finishing second in every single vote. It’s not hard to see why either as Kirei had pretty much all the qualities you would need for this particular royale. He was a highly skilled combatant, intelligent, a master manipulator, highly mobile and had the killer instinct which the other two warriors in the top three lacked and what guaranteed his second place finish. He finished second not because of any flaws of his own but simply because the winner simply had a better skillset.

1st Place: Spider-Man, 88 Points

Much like Kirei, Spider-Man had all the advantages you need to succeed in a royale. He was a powerful fighter, with unrivalled mobility because of his web slinging and agility and a nice enough guy to attract allies. His only weakness was his unwillingness to kill but he could get around that with his web creation which gave him an easy way to immobile his opponents non-lethally. He was the only warrior here with the ability and the conviction to try and win via the control point objective and that is what propelled him to victory.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

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