Deadliest Fiction Wiki

If we get jammed up, we're holding court on the street.
— Doug Macray

The Fake Old Nuns, more commonly known as the MacRay gang, were a group of bank robbers well known for their methodical and brutal style of pulling off heists. Often analyzing the full area well in advance, the group would then disable the security of the bank before charging in and catching the people inside by surprise before they can trip the silent alarm. The group consisted of four notable members, Doug MacRay, the leader of the group, James "Jem" Coughlin, John's best friend and the groups most ruthless member, Albert Magloan, the group getaway driver, and Desmond Elden, who often provided back-up for Doug and Jem. During one bank heist, a woman named Clair Keesey sees Jem's distinctive neck tattoo, and becomes a major witness to Agent Frawley, the FBI agent in charge of the case. Striking up a relationship with Clair to see what she knows, Doug falls in love with her, much to Jem's chagrin.

Battle vs. Joker's Thugs (by Thundertri)[]

Joker Gang: Teal Teal Teal Teal Teal Teal

MacRay Gang: White White White White White White


Vanderbilt Avenue, New York City

8:37 PM

The Joker Gang A large yellow school bus rounds the bend onto Vanderbilt Avenue in New York and proceeds to a sidestreet beside Grand Central Station, swarming with people. Cars honk their horns as they maneuver around the big bus and towards their destinations. Looming skyscrapers and highrises shade the bus as it enters an alley behind a cheap Italian restraunt. The bus slows to a hault as wheels grind and squeal in a rusty chorus.

A fat man dressed in a greasy apron, cheap khakis and a chef's hat walks out the backdoor and holds his fist up in the air, "Hey, you can't park back here, private property. Employees only! Don't you read the damn signs?" he shouts in a thick Italian accent.

The bus' doors open and a man in a custom purple suit and green pinstriped shirt steps out. His face, covered in a white makeup, his hair; green like a tangle of overgrown vines. Red scars reach up towards the crown of his head from his cherry red lips. He smiles and pulls out a Smith & Wesson model 29 snub. The chef backs up as the man aims his revolver. "I must've missed them," he says, pulling the trigger on his pistol. The man falls back against the brick wall, blood staining his apron even further.

Two thugs dressed in pruple and black suits step out from the bus. Brandishing clown masks and Glocks, they walk over to the wounded chef.

"Please, don't hurt me," the chef pleads, clutching his bloody chest.

The first of the two thugs walks over and shuts the door, the second heaves the chef up by the strap on his apron and pushes him against the wall. He presses the barrel of his Glock to the back of the chef's sweaty, bald head.

"Please, no!" He gasps.

The thug tilts his head, then holsters his Glock to his hip. He pats the chef on the head and begins to walk away with the Joker and the second thug.

"Thank the lord," the chef says, gripping his chest, "Thankyou Jesus!" he continues, looking up at the night sky.

3 more thugs step out of the bus carrying assault rifles and pistols. The man with the green hair raises his hand and points at the chef who continues to face the wall on his knees, in deep prayer. One of the thugs walks over to the praying chef and shoots him with his suppressed Beretta.

The battle[]

Grand Central Station, New York City

8:45 PM

The Joker Gang VS The MacRay Gang The Joker motions to the bus driver to move the bus away from the alley and towards the side of the station. The bus rumbles to a start and begins to back out of the alley. It slides neatly into a large, empty parking spot beside the station. The Joker and his gang walk across the street surprisingly undetected by the civilians driving by them, and walks next to the bus, "Stay here, we'll radio if we need you," he says to the driver. The driver nods and pulls out a Gotham city newspaper to hide his mask. The front article on the paper "Joker Strikes Again".

The Joker returns his attention to his gang, "Get in, get what we need and get out."

The gang members nod and cock their weapons.


A Chrysler minivan pulls around the bend to Vanderbilt Avenue, tires squealing as it makes it way through the thick traffic. Within the van, the sounds of clicks and taps ring in the cabin as the MacRay Gang load and cock their weapons. Doug looks at the driver, Albert, "You know where we're going, right?" he asks.

"Of course," Albert begins, "Grand central f--king station. Where else would we go?"

Doug lets out a slight chuckle as the van pulls around a side street beside the station, "Isn't it a bit late for a field trip?" Jem asks, pointing to a school bus parked next to the station.

"Seems suspicious, what kind of shcool takes a field trip to a train station?" Desmond asks, sliding a magazine into his HK416.

"I dunno, but we've got a job to do, and a weird ass school field trip isn't going to stop us," Doug says.

"Doug," Desmond begins, "If there are kids on a field trip here, then there are kids in there. We can't honestly go through with this."

Doug stares at his feet and looks back up as he parks in an empty parking space. "We've got a job to do, but no un-necessary violence," he looks at Jem, "You got that?"

Jem nods, "Masks on boys," he says, placing his nun mask over his head and grabbing his HK416.


The Joker and his gang push their way through the thick crowd outside of the station covertly. As they come to the door, a man holds the door open for the Joker, but at the sight of the clown prince of crime's face, he cringes and steps back, "Dude, what's wrong with your face?" he asks.

"What's wrong with your's," The Joker retorts.

"Nothing I-" The man begins, but is shot in the face by the Joker and his revolver.

"Now I see, you've got a bullet in it," The Joker says, holstering his revolver. People scream at the sound of the gunshot and run for the door.

Chuckles raises his Mac and fires multiple shots into the air. The bullets strike multiple glass windows, showering the crowd with shards of broken glass. More screams erupt in the massive station area. The Joker exchanges his Smith & Wesson snub for his full auto Glock on his belt and raises it. He walks down the marble staircase into the center of the massive and elegant station. His gangsters run around the sides, securing thre area and pushing any stragglers and attempted escapees back into the center of the elaborate station.

Grumpy fires two shots of his Glock into the air, "Quiet!!!" he shouts angrily.

The Joker turns to Grumpy, "Thankyou, now, find what we're after, don't stop until you've got it. Kill anyone who dares prevent you from getting it," he says to the gang. Each of the members nod abegin to walk towards the staircase on the other side of the room.

The people in the station begin to stampede away as the gang shoulder their way through them. The Joker fires another burst from his Glock into the air creating more screams and shouts. A brave teenagre charges at the joker, bearing his gloved fists and a thick shard of broken glass. The Joker turns and fires a burst into the attacker's chest, killing him instantly, "Heroics," The Joker sighs sarcastically, turning back towards the elaborate staircases. Ahead of him, a large balcony with marble staircases on either side. Grumpy fires his M16 towards the balcony, screams and shouts erupt as several civilians drop to the ground in a pool of blood.


The MacRay gang run up to the doors, "That was f--king gunfire!" Doug shouts, charging through the crowd, OSW Carbine in hand. "There's someone else after it!"

Desmond runs through the doors and fires four 4 shots of his Ruger into the air, clearing the crowd away from him. "Who the hell are they?" Desmond asks, pointing to the Joker in the distance.

Doug looks over at the Joker, "Those are the guys that are after what we're after! Get them!" He shouts, charging off towards the Joker and his men.

Albert and Desmond exchange glances before running down the small set of steps and into the main area.

The Joker turns to see the MacRay men charging, he points to Grumpy "Open fire!"

Grumpy turns and lets loose with his M16, killing one of the charging, unamed gangsters. White

Joker Gang: Teal Teal Teal Teal Teal Teal

MacRay Gang: White White White White White

Doug turns, mid sprint to see his friend fall to the ground, blood shooting out the back of his lifeless body like a hose. Turning back to the fight he continues to run, firing his OSW as he does. Gunfire erupts in large numbers as the two gangs begin their battle.

Chuckles drops a grenade down from the balcony and into the cluster of MacRay gangsters. jem picks it up and tosses it into the air. The small M67 explodes in midair, the blast knocking over Chuckles and Dopey. Happy runs over to the balcony and fires his Beretta down from it. One of the shots hits Jem in the shoulder, knocking him back onto a large, decorative trash can in  the middle of the floor.

Desmond covers the fallen Jem with his HK416, spraying the Joker Gang with bullets.

Grumpy motions for Happy to move up as he stands from his fall. Happy nods and runs to the left staircase, continuing to fire his Beretta. Chuckles and Doepy give him cover, Chuckles with his Mac-10 and Dopey with his revolver. Dopey fires the sixth shot from his revolver and unloads the shells from its cylinder, then, he holsters the pistol and grabs his M16A2 and slips a fresh magazine into it. He aims the rifle down range and begins to spray bullets down range.


The Joker runs up the staircase and to the back of the station, at the ticket booth. Several stragglers scramble away from the booths as he arrives. He presses his Glock to the glass, a frightened ticket salesman looks up from behind his hiding spot beneath his desk. "D-don't shoot," the salesman manages to sputter out.

The Joker turns his head back, looking at the fight, "I won't, but they might," He says cruely.

The salesman's face turns white as snow as he looks past The Joker. "Unless you tell train number thirty five to come into the station. I understand your emergency protocol calls for every train to stop at the nearest station in case of an emergency. This protocol will not apply to train number thirty five, you understand me, correct?" The Joker says.

"I-I just sell the tickets," The salesman replies.

The Joker cocks the hammer on his Glock, "You don't want me to have to use this. I know damn well who you are, you don't sell the tickets. You're the one who calls this protocol, you're the emergency advisor."

"How do you know that?"

"It says it on your name tag, Jeff."


Jem ducks behind a large plant as he reloads his HK416. The constant gunfire numbing his ears, he turns and fires a burst of rounds around the corner. The wound in his shoulder pulsed as blood leaked from it. "Doug, we need some more firepower! These bastards are putting up quite a fight despite their looks!"

Doug nods and runs to the bottom of the balcony, Albert, Desmond and an unamed gangster providing cover with their weapons. He places a small stick of C4 beneath the marble balcony and wires it. Suddenly, the sound of sirens echoes in the distance.

"Doug, we gotta hurry this up!" Albert shouts, firing his Mini Uzi.

Doug nods and runs away from the balcony, suddenly, Chuckles lands a shot to the back of Doug's calf with his Mac. Doug drops to the ground, bullets plink around him on the decorative, tiled floor around him. His rifle skids away from him. Turing to his back, he draws his HK USP Compact and fires mulitple shots in the direction of the Joker Gang. In his other hand, he presses the button of the detonator. The balcony blows sending chunks of marble flying. As the dust clears, Dopey is left covered in blood and dust. Teal

Joker Gang: Teal Teal Teal Teal Teal

MacRay Gang: White White White White White

Doug stands and coughs, he stares around, "They're gone, move! We've gotta get that case they're after!" he shouts, picking up his OSW and running up the stairs. Suddenly, sub machine gun fire erupts from around the hall.

Chuckles fires his Mac blindly around the corner of the hall, behind him, Grumpy, Happy, The Joker and Jeff the advisor run towards the terminal. He slides behind the wall and reloads his Mac as the MacRay gang charge up the stairs, guns blazing. Chuckles rounds the bend fires his Mac into the unamed MacRay gangster's chest. Blood spurts out from his chest as he falls. White

Joker Gang: Teal Teal Teal Teal Teal

MacRay Gang: White White White White

Jem raises his HK416 and lets loose a burst just as Chuckles ducks back behind the corner and takes off down the hall. He ducks behind a column and reaches for a fresh magazine for his Mac. Finding no such clip for his sub machine gun, he tosses it aside and grabs his Glock and combat knife. 

Desmond inches near the pillar and slings his HK416 by the strap over his shoulder. He grabs his hunting knife and rolls around the column. Chuckles shoots his Glock into Desmond's bicep, the shot just grazes creating no significant wound. Desmond thrusts with his knife, Chuckles blocks and slashes Desmond's mask. Desmond takes a second thrust into Chuckles' chest. Chuckles falls back against the pillar leaving a streak of blood on it. He reaches for his Glock, but Desmond shoots him twice in the head with his Ruger. Teal

Joker Gang: Teal Teal Teal Teal

MacRay Gang: White White White White

Desmond sheathes his knife and holsters his pistol at his waist and turns to Doug, Albert and Jem.

"Well done," Jem says, patting Desmond on the back as he runs off towards the terminal. Albert and Doug follow him, running with their weapons.

Desmond shakes his head and takes off after them.

Happy and Grumpy run slide behind a row of plastic chairs in the terminal. Grumpy reloads his M16 and checks the ammo in his Glock. "You ready, Happy?" he asks, aiming his assault rifle down range.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Happy replies, unholstering his Beretta.

The MacRay men burst through the doors and open fire immediately. Grumpy shoots back with his M16, he lands a grazing shot on Albert who retaliates by spraying his mini Uzi across the area. One of the shots hits Grumpy in the shoulder, knocking him down. Grumpy rolls over to his chest and crawls over to a long counter. He sits behind it and reloads his M16.

Happy drops his empty Beretta and throws a frag grenade into the cluster of MacRay men. The nun masked gangsters disperse and scramble for cover. Happy picks up his Beretta and runs behind the counter with Grumpy. He slips another mag into his Beretta and peers over the coutner at the MacRay gang who begin to come out from cover. "These bastards don't give up," he says, firing several shots at them with his pistol.

Grumpy nods and sprays his M16 over the counter blindly.


The Joker sits down on a bench next to the train tracks with Jeff beside him. He pulls a newspaper over his face and pretends to read while he waits for the train. Jeff looks over to him, "Why train number thirty five?" he asks nervously.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out," The Joker replies, continuing to "read" his paper.

Jeff coughs and looks back into the terminal behind them. Suddenly, train number 35 begins to thunder into the station, wheels squealing and horn blaring. The train slows to a hault and the door opens, people begin to pour out, carrying bags and suitcases.

"Where are the other trains?" A woman asks, confused.

"Where is everyone? This place is a ghost town," A man says.

"Excuse me, sir?" another woman begins to ask the Joker, "Where is everyone?"

The Joker doesn't respond.

"Sir? Hey was that gunfire?" She continues, nervously.

Sweat begins to bead heavily on Jeff's forehead, he mouths the words, "help me".

The Joker, continuing to read his paper, raises his revolver and fires a shot through Jeff's skull, blood sprays everwhere as the advisor drops to the ground.

Screams erupt as the Joker drops his paper and stands. He fires three more shots into the air, "Quiet!" he shouts angrily.

Grumpy and Happy burst through the doors, MacRay gangsters firing their guns after them. "Boss, we gotta get him! Now!" Happy shouts.

The Joker shoves his way through the crowd and onto the train, followed by Grumpy and Happy. Grumpy leans into his shoulder where his radio is, "We're ready, come to the back," he says into it.

The MacRay gang begin to run into the loading zone and Happy slams the door shut and locks it. "I'll take the South end of the train, you have the North," The Joker says, holstering his revolver in exhcange for his full auto Glock.

Grumpy and Happy nod. Happy slides his Beretta away and pulls out his Mac from the back of his belt. The two gangsters begin to walk towards the front of the train while the Joker takes the back.

Doug runs up to the train and pulls on the door handle, "Locked. Albert, Desmond. Get the other door towards the front, Jem and I will take the other door at the back," he says.

The gang members nod and begin to run towards their respective zones of the train. Albert runs up to the front door and pulls the handle.

Within the train car, Grumpy and Happy hear the door click through the screams of civilians escaping. As they clear out, Grumpy hides behind a seat and Happy ducks into the lavatory. The door slides open and Albert slips in, Mini Uzi pointed in front of him. Desmond comes in behind him with his HK416. "I'll go forward to the car in front of us, you go to the back of the next car. We'll meet back here," Desmond says, moving up past the lavatory and into the car in front of them. Albert nods and begins to walk to the car behind them. Grumpy stands and fires his Glock into Albert's back. The fat MacRay gangster drops to his knees, dropping his Uzi under a seat as well. He stands and grabs a concaled kitchen knife from within his belt. He slashes upward and knocks the Glock from Grumpy's hands.

On the next car over, Desmond hears the gunshot and runs to the door. On the other side, he sees Happy standing, Beretta pressed against the glass. He pulls on the handle only to find that it was locked from the outside.

"Shit," Desmond says, dropping his HK416 into a nearby seat and raising his hands into the air.

Grumpy stumbles backwards and draws his Bowie knife. Albert steps back and slashes once again, the cut barely missing Grumpy's neck. Grumpy lunges at the wounded Albert and knees him in the gut. Albert falls into a nearby seat and drops his knife.

Happy opens the second door on the car, revealing to Desmond the horrific scene: Grumpy standing over the fallen Albert, Bowie knife raised into the air. "NO!" Desmond shouts, banging on the glass.

Happy knocks the Beretta against the glass and Desmond steps back in anger.

Grumpy thrusts the Bowie knife into Albert's chest, blood spurts up and spatters over Grumpy's clown mask. Grumpy laughs as Albert screams in pain. He drags the Bowie knife slowly down into Albert's gut, the fat gangster screaming and yelling in horror as blood sprays and spurts over the seats. Albert coughs and blood begins to gush from his mouth. Grumpy lifts the Bowie out of Albert's chest and the bloody body slumps over. White

Joker Gang: Teal Teal Teal Teal

MacRay Gang: White White White

"Albert!" Desmond shouts in horror as Grumpy raises the bloody knife in victory. Happy claughs cruely and fires two shots with his pistol through the glass. Desmond falls over as the two bullets enter his body. Happy unlocks the door and slides it open.

Grumpy nods and wipes the blood off his knife on a nearby seat and sheathes it. He runs over and picks up his Glock and M16, then proceeds to follow Happy into the next car. They step over Desmond's body and walk through to the head car. The driver stands and holds up his hands as the Gangsters enter, Happy holds up his Mac, Grumpy his M16. "D-don't shoot!" the driver shouts.

Grumpy and Happy eaxchange glances and open fire, bullets spray the area. Sparks fly as bullets hit the controls of the train and blood shoots out as the driver falls over. The Joker Gang members turn and run back through the train. When they arrive at where they shot Desmond, they find no body.


Desmond scrambles through the train, shoving his way through civilians as he desperately searches for Jem and Doug. Suddenly, he runs into one of the MacRay gangsters, "Doug?" Desmond asks.

"No, it's Jem," Jem says, pulling looking around.

"They got Albert, I'm wounded, shot me twice at point blank range. Where's Doug?"

"We split up and-" Suddenly, gunfire erupts in the next car. "Go!" Jem shouts.

Jem and Desmond run to the car behind them and run in to find Doug crouching behind a seat while the Joker dual wields his Mac and Glock. Bullets plink against the door as Desmond and Jem enter. Doug pulls them down to the ground just in time before the Joker tears them to shreds.

Desmond fires his HK416 around the corner of the seat into the cabin. The Joker ducks down and dodges the burst, reloading his Glock. He stands once more and opens fire as he backs up and opens the door. "Bye bye!" he says, slipping through the door.

Doug stands and fires his OSW through the glass, but barely misses the Joker as he enters the last car and locks the doors.

"Doug, we're screwed! The other guys are coming from the front, and he's back there. We've got to go!" Desmond shouts to Doug as he runs to the door, attempting to unlock it with his switchblade.

"Desmond's right, we've got to move!" Jem says, opening the emergency exit door on the side of the car.

"NO!" Doug shouts, "We can't let him have it!"

"What are we even after?" Desmond asks.

"The key," Doug says.


The Joker runs into the final car and fires two shots of his revolver into a man in a suit, aiming a Sig Sauer pistol. The man drops over and his pistol skidders away from him. He reaches for it, but the Joker steps on it and shoots him in the face.

The Joker holsters his revolver and kneels over the bloody body, he reaches over and picks up the briefcase that sat in the man's left hand. On the case, was the presidential seal, "Undercover agent my ass," the Joker says, standing and walking over to the emergency exit. Pulling the handle downward, he shoulders his way through the door and onto the loading platform.


Inside the train, Grumpy and Happy run into the second to last car and encounter the MacRay gangsters.

Jem turns and fires two shots with his Beretta at the gangsters. Happy ducks back behind the door and the shots plink off it. Grumpy fires his Glock into Jem's chest, knocking him over. He then turns and aims his pistol at Desmond and Doug. Doug dodges the first shot just barely and runs to the door. Desmond picks up his HK416 and sprays the rifle from his hip, one of the shots grazes Grumpy's thigh. Grumpy cringes beneath his mask and shoots back. Desmond runs up and grabs Jem by the wrist and drags him behind a seat. Doug stands and shoots Grumpy in the leg, knocking him against the back wall of the car.

Happy stands and sprays his Mac at the escaping Doug. Desmond gets up and punches Happy in the face. Happy falls down to the floor and drops his Mac. "Move! Get Jem!" Doug yells, opening the door and stepping out. Desmond nods and helps Jem up and the two walk out the door.

Jem stumbles onto the platform and into Doug. "We need to get him to a hospital," Doug says, covering Jem's wound.

"No! We've all been shot up, they'll suspect something there. Ask questions and call the cops. We can't let that guy go!" Dsmond replies, grabbing Doug's arm.

"We can't just let him die!" Doug says, helping Jem across the platform.

"He won't, the bastard's one tough son of a b--tch. He'll make it," Desmond replies.

Jem grips his bloody chest and atempts to stand on his own, "I'll make it. C'mon Doug, we really can't let him get away! Do this for Albert," Jem says.

Doug stares at his feet, "I didn't even ask about Albert. You're right, get to the van!"


Grumpy and Happy limp their way out of the train and up to the Joker. The three make their way out of the platform and to a small closet. The Joker turns on a light in the closet, revealing a ladder. Happy climbs up first followed by The Joker and then Grumpy.

They arrive at a door and walk out.  into a small alleyway where their bus lies in wait. The bus' doors open and The Joker steps on and take the first seat in the aisle. Grumpy and Happy take two random seats and drop their weapons beside them. Grumpy rolls up sleeve and wraps a layer of gauze on hi bloody shoulder.

"Move," the Joker says to the driver.

The driver nods and presses his foot to the gas pedal and the bus drives off.


Desmond and Doug help a wounded Jem into the van as they sneak by the police. An officer walks up to the van just as Doug is starting it up. "Hide the weapons," Doug whispers before he rolls down the window. Desmond nods, pulling off his mask and sliding his HK416 beneath the seat and his Ruger inbetween the cushions.

"Hello gentlemen, this area is under investigation, we're going to have to ask you to leave," the officer says.

"We have to get to the hospital, my wife she just texted me her water broke 20 minutes ago. I've really got to go," Doug lies.

"I'm sorry sir, it's state policy, we can't let you go," the officer replies.

"Officer, do you have any kids?" Doug asks.

"Yes, two of em, why?" The officer replies dumbly.

"My wife and I have had two miscarriages already. This baby is our last chance, you gotta let me go see him," Doug lies once again.

"Sir I really can't let you-" the Policeman begins when suddenly he ears something over the radio.

"Officer Dalton, we've spotted a bus moving away from the area. We have reason to believe it's the shooters," the voice through the radio crackles.

"Alright I'm on it," the officer says into the radio, returning his attention to Doug he continues, "You stay here, okay?"

"Yes officer," Doug says. The policeman nods and runs towards his car. Doug starts up the engine as soon as he's out of sight and he begins to drive away.


The Joker's bus driver maneuvers in and out of traffic on the freeway. "Boss, we got a major jam up here," he says, swerving in front of a tow truck.

"Just plow through it," The Joker replies, opening the briefcase. He undoes the metal clasps and lifts up the hardened leather top. Peering in, he sees a manilla folder. He picks it up and tosses the case aside. Laying the folder on his lap, he skims through it. Maps, papers and charts all lye within the folder. The Joker picks up a color coded map with a grid on it. Looking at it, he memorizes it and crumples it up. At the bottom of the folder he finds what he was really after: A key card with the presidential logo on it.

He pockets the card and tosses the other papers aside. Suddenly, the bus jolts forward as it slams its way through traffic. Cars honk their horns angrily as the bus drives on into the night.


Mister Romney, we've just been alerted of a shooting in grand central station," a Secret Service member whispers into Mitt Romney's ear as he delivers his speech in New York City. Romney falters and looks into the crowd.

"I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, something has occured and I must be leaving now," he says, stepping away from the poidum. "Grand Central Station? Why there?" Romney asks quietly.

"We believe whoever was there, was after Agent Maloney. The undercover agent coming in from Washington on the train," the Secret Service man replies.

"Oh no," Romney says, hurrying his pace.


Doug drives along the highway as fast as possible, his foot pressed firmly against the gas pedal. In the back, Desmond adresses Jem's wound, "It's okay buddy, you'll be alright," he says, covering the gunshot in a bandage.

Jem coughs and sits up, "Damn, bastards really did a number on us," he says.

Doug looks around, "S--t, they've already been through here," he says, staring at the wrecked cars.

"Go faster Doug, we've gotta get them," Desmond says.

"Here they are," Doug begins, "Masks on boys, lock and load," he continues placing his mask over his face and grabbing his HK USP.

Jem pulls his robes on over him and puts on his mask, he grabs his HK416 and cocks it. Desmond grabs his mask and rifle and readies himself for combat.

On the bus, The Joker looks in the rearview mirror, "We've got company boys," he says, grabbing his AKMSU that he stores on a rack behind the seat.

>Grumpy looks at Happy and readies his M16. Happy slides over to the other side of the bus and readies his Mac.

"Here they come!" Grumpy shouts as the MacRay van pulls up.

Happy opens up the window and aims his Mac. Pulling the trigger, he sprays bullets down onto the van's roof. The bullets plink off and shower the area with sparks. Grumpy smashes he window and fires two shots with his M16 at the engine.

Doug slides down the window and fires off a whole magazine from his USP into the bus' windows. Glass showers Grumpy, Happy and the Joker. "Doug, open the door!" Jem shouts.

Doug nods and unlocks the back door with a click of the button. The electric door slides open and Desmond leans out and fires his HK416. The rounds tear into the seats and shatter the windows.

"Boss, we're almost there, ETA, 5 minutes!" the bus driver shouts.

The Joker nods and tosses a grenade out the window and onto the hood of the van. The grenade lands in the crack between the windshield and the hood and stays there. "Step on it!" The Joker shouts to the driver. The driver nods and kicks his foot into the gas. The bus begins to roar away down the freeway.

"S--t, grenade!" Jem yells.

Doug looks down on the hood and slams the brakes. The car stops and the grenade rolls off onto the highway and under an 18 wheeler truck. The grenade explodes, releasing a high amount of fire beneath the truck's trailer. The trailer splits in two as shrapnel and fire come up through it.

Doug swerves around it and hits his foot against the accelerator. The van speeds up behind the bus as it turns onto the off ramp and back into the streets of New York City.

The bus turns arpund a corner and smashes a sedan. "Stay on those f--kers!" Jem shouts to Doug.

"Come one!" Doug yells as he stamps on the gas. The van begins to slowly crawl up next to the bus and Jem fires another burst with his HK416 into the back door of the bus.

Grumpy looks over at the van and runs to the back seat. He sets his M16 down on the seat and grabs his Glock. He fires multiple shots into the windshield, missing Doug each time. "These bastards don't know when to quit," he says, locking the sights on Doug, he pulls the trigger. The gun releases the bullet, but the van swerves out of the way just in time.

Happy clambers to the back as well and fires off a whole magazine into the hood of the car. Flames erupt from the van's hood and it begins to swerve uncontollably. "There ya go suckers!" Happy shouts. He begins to walk back to the front of the bus, when he is struck in the shoulder by a shot from Jem. Happy falls to the floor of the aisle and scrambles up and into a seat. Grumpy ducks down as Jem fires another burst of rounds off.

"We're here!" the driver shouts, pulling up to a parking spot. He stands and grabs his revolver and M1 Garand from the dashboard. "Let's move."

The Joker stands with his AKMSU and runs out the open doors of the bus.

Doug desperately tries to control the burning van as he drives down the road. "Those flames are going to hit the fuel tank soon, we gotta get the hell out of here!" he shouts. Jem looks at Desmond, "We've gotta jump, the brakes are dead, there's no other way," Doug continues.

"Great," Desmond says sarcastically. They open the door to the van and Doug readies himself, he eases off the gas and looks back and Jem and Desmond. Jem leaps out onto the pavement and somersaults to the curb. Desmond takes off immediately after, landing safely as well. Doug swerves the car towards the curb and opens the door, he quickly jumps out just as the van drives straight into the front of a jewelery store and explodes in a ball of smoky fire. Doug stands and runs over to Desmond and Jem.

"Let's go!" he shouts, running after the Joker and his thugs.

The Joker runs into a large parking garage and sprays his AKMSU into the air. Civilians scream and abandon their cars. The gang moves up to the elevator just as the MacRay gang barge in. The driver fires his Garand at themas the elevator doors close and the Joker hits the button with a 15 on it. "Here we go," The Joker says as the elevator begins to go up.

Doug fires his OSW on full auto at the doors just as they close. Bullets plink off them as they do.

"Damn, what floor are they going to?" he asks angrily.

Jem points to the building next to the garage, "That's where they're going, that's where Romney's giving his speech, that's where we're going."

Doug nods, "The meeting's on the auditorium on floor twenty. This garage only goes up fifteen flights, that's where they're going."

"That's where we're going," Desmond says, running up to the elevator and pressing the button.

The Joker gang steps off the elevator and onto floor 15 of the garage. Grumpy runs to the side of the building that faces the next skyscraper over. He drops a duffel bag down and unzips it. Pulling out a harpoon gun of sorts, he aims it. "Get ready boys," he says, firing his Glock up towards a window. The glass shatters and he switches to the harppon gun and fires it. A spear fires out of the gun with a long cord on the end. The spear embeds itself into a wall within the building.

"Strap up," The Joker says, pulling out carabiner and a loop of para-cord. Grumpy flips out a large hook from the end of the gun and attaches it to a post. He gives the Joker a thumbs up and the Joker attaches the carabiner to the cord from the gun. He puts the para-cord loop underneath his arm and clips it to the carabiner. The other Joker Gang members do the same and begin to climb up the cord.

Winner: The Joker Gang

Expert's Opinion[]


To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Wild Bunch (by Deathblade 100)[]


Expert's Opinion[]


To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Los Santos Heist Crew (by Cfp3157 and WanderingSkull)[]

No battle will be written.

Expert's Opinion[]

The Los Santos Crew had such overwhelming advantages in terms of weaponry, experience, and skill that they were all but guaranteed the win.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.