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The Killdozer was a nickname given to an improvised armoured vehicle built by Marvin Heemeyer, a Granby, Colorado mechanic who became disgruntled with the local government after a zoning dispute.

After failing to gain any ground with petitions, Heemeyer modified a bulldozer with homemade composite armour made from steel and concrete, armed with a Barret .50 rifle, a civilian version of the FN FNC, and a Ruger Mini 14. Heemeyer then proceeded to go on a rampage against the town of Granby, leveling several structures, the bulldozer surviving all attempts by police to disable it with firearms and even three explosions. The rampage finally ended when the bulldozer got stuck in the basement of a structure, and Heemeyer committed suicide with a handgun.

A year later after the rampage, the Killdozer was turned to scrap and it's pieces transported to many different scrap yards in order to prevent the pieces to be taken as souvenirs by people who would admire Heemeyer.

Battle vs. Narco Tank (by SPARTAN 119)[]

A Los Zetas "Narco Tank" rolled through the streets of a Mexican city, Spanish rap music blaring from inside the vehicle. Suddenly, a building on the side of the road collapses, revealing a heavily armored.

Marvin Heemeyer, the disgrunted mechanic who built and went on a rampage with the "Killdozer" is confused as to how he was in Granby, Colorado, about to commit suicide one moment after having the bulldozer trapped and getting surrounded by police one moment, and in the next, somewhere that looked like Mexico, but that though was removed from his mind as he heard the pinging of rounds off the armor of "The Killdozer".

The Los Zetas thugs fired their weapons at the armored bulldozer from the gun ports on the "Narco Tank", to no effect. The rounds simply bounced off the thick armor. The operator of the "Killdozer" returned fire with the mounted FN FNC, causing no damage to the Narco tank.

The "Killdozer turned towards the "Narco Tank", firing its Barret .50 as it moved towards the "Narco Tank". The Los Zetas realized they were in trouble and turned tail and retreated, hoping to call in for backup.

As the cartel turned a corner onto another side street, however, the "Killdozer" smashed through the wall of another building, cutting off the "Narco Tank's" escape.

The dozer turned toward to Los Zetas vehicle and struck it in the side with the dozer blade hard enough to turn the vehicle on its side. Heemeyer fired several rounds from the Barret .50 cal rifle into the unarmored bottom of the truck, one of the rounds hitting fuel tank and causing it to explode, reducing the "Narco Tank" to a flaming wreck.

WINNER: "THE KILLDOZER"

Expert's Opinion[]

The Killdozer won due to being an armored tank, as opposed to the Narco Tank which was little more than a homemade APC. Additionally, the Killdozer driver had a Barrett .50 rifle which easily ripped into the armor of the Narco Tank.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Mark IV Tank (by GSFB)[]

Among the ruins of a city, a Mark IV tank rolls over a gravel road. All eight Brits inside are on alert: news of a new tank has been the subject of countless rumors for weeks. just two weeks ago two Renault 17 tanks where mysteriously destroyed, and a week before that five American soldiers had been attacked and killed, rolled over at midnight by the as yet unseen tank. Unseen, because none who see it stay alive...

Nearby, a disgruntled maniac drives his Killdozer. He mows down a brick house with his dozer blade, looking around for more people to attack...

Suddenly, both tanks stop; the men in both spot each other, less than twenty feet apart. While the Killdozer pilot pulls out his Barret M82 and aims, the Mark IV opens fire with several Lewis machine guns and its left side cannon. The 6-pounder cannonball slams into the side of the Killdozer, startling its pilot with the noise and force of the impact, yet the armor withstands the hit. The machinegun bullets ricochet off the armor. The Killdozer pilot shakes off his shock and fires, piercing the Mark IV's armor. The tank crewmen are not hit, but are shocked that a bullet has managed to pass through the armor. Looking at each other, they realize that they are definitely on borrowed time. The Tank commander barks orders, and the Mark IV turns to the left as it fires its lewis machine guns again. The Killdozer turns towards the tank, gaining speed, preparing to ram her. Just the the right 6-pounder gun fires, damaging the dozer blade. The Killdozer does not stop, and in a few seconds, despite continous Lewis gunfire, the Killdozer rams the tank. All those inside fight panic, and the tank commander barks further orders. Just as the right six-pounder fires two more broadsides into the Killdozer, another gunshot is heard. The Tank Commander stands sill, eyes wide open. Suddenly he falls over, a bullethole visible in his back. The Tank crewmen continue to fire, sending countless bullets and six more six-pounder cannonballs into the Killdozer. However, the Pilot of the Killdozer is still alive, and with a movement of the controls the Mark IV is lifted, then tilted by the dozer blade. In a few seconds the tank flips, falling down a steep incline before it lands on its very top. The Tank crewmen are hopelessly trapped, giving the Killdozer pilot the opporitunity to fire his Barret M82 at the Mark IV over and over ad over and OVER again. when his rifle runs out of ammo for the fourth time, the Mar IV is silent. small red streams of blood ooze out of several bulletholes.


Winner: The KILLDOZER!

Expert's Opinion[]

Although the Mark IV was designed for combat, its armor inadequacies compared to that of the Killdozer, combined with the latter's armor piercing rifle, led to the obvious conclusion that the Killdozer was going to conquer the day.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Peacemaker (Mad Max) (by Snigel)[]

The Peacemaker's treads made tracks on the dark, thick mud of the swamp as it moved towards its target. The night was silent for now, no guns were fired and no explosives were detonated. But the Peacemaker's commander had a feeling that it would change soon. After driving for a minute or so, the target appeared clearly to the crew of the vehicle.

"Fukushima, would'ya look at that brick". The aforementioned "brick" was a large industrial vehicle of some sort, a bulldozer it seemed, but it had a cocoon of what appeared to be concrete surrounding its form. It had slowly approached them while the Peacemaker had done the same. The "bricks" reason for travelling towards the Immortan's convoy was unknown to the Bullet Farmer. But it did not matter why it was here, its appearance here was the more important issue.

Well, removing it was even more important.

The machine had stopped. Like a kitten seeing its reflection in the mirror for the first time, the Killdozer stared down the Peacemaker. The driver had noticed a vehicle break off from the convoy and it had made its way towards the Killdozer. Now that the lone vehicle was only between fifty to one hundred feet infront of the dozer, the driver could more clearly see his adversary. The body of an old muscle car (american, the driver noted) hoisted a upon a set treads. A curious looking mode of transportation, no doubt. The frankensteinian car was driven by a group of five or so men, wielding firearms. The ensuing confrontation would be a violent one.

Not five seconds later, the driver heard two muffled "bangs" followed by two "pings". The Bullet Farmer lowered his 45. Colts after "probing" the armor of the brick. As expected, he mused. "Allright men, let's crack the brick! Hut!". Hearing the commander's orders, the Peacemaker's driver put the pedal to the metal and the treaded car started up, moving forward with a lurch and then turned right, circling the Killdozer. A textbook tactic against slow enemy vehicles. As the Killdozer's driver started up the so-called brick, the Peacemaker was encircling its opponent while its occupants geared up for a fight. Crimpnose, Kalashnikov's right-hand man, loaded up his personal weapon, A Type 56 Rifle with a fresh 30 round box magazine. Krinkov, the replacement driver, armed himself with a PPSh-41 that he had thoroughly cleaned and oiled the night before the chase of the War Rig started. Gauge, the gunner and veritable everyman who had served under the Bullet Farmer since the Fall, HK Slapped a spare MP5K-PDW, kicking himself mentally for not bringing his priced M14 with him. The Bullet Farmer decided to watch the show for now, choosing to partake in the action a bit later. He holstered one of his Colt's while handing the other one to Hesh, the driver, for self-defense. The Major doubted it would do much against the concrete-clad behemoth that they were up against.

Almost simultaneously, the occupants opened fire on the Killdozer, peppering the mechanical beast's back. With adrenaline in his system and dread clouding his mind, the Killdozer's driver started driving forward to escape. The Killdozer was a strong vehicle, its armor granting it great protection against hostiles and calamities. However, the armor was a double-edged sword. While the armor was indeed formidable, its weight made an already slow vehicle even more slower, not to mention the Killdozer was a huge target. The Peacemaker had already made two laps around its adversary, shooting at it all the while. Krinkov fetched another magazine from the wooden crate housing the ammo, while Gauge and Crimpnose were shooting at the brick. Hesh took a couple of potshots at the armored adversary, laughing as he did so.

"I'm going bloody deaf over here!", Krinkov shouted at nobody in particular.

"Think of it as a mark of battle!", The former Major shouted a response. Krinkov chuckled at the response.

Realizing that he was not going to escape the battle, the driver stopped his vehicle and hurried to the right side of the dozer's interior. Sweaty hands grasped the Ruger rifle, waiting for the Peacemaker to appear. As the Peacemaker was in his sights, the man opened fire. 5.56 caliber bullets flew at high speeds towards the Peacemaker. The occupants hit the ground to protect themselves, with the exception of the Bullet Farmer.

"Ah, so it can fight! Good, good! I was fearing that this would be boring!".

While the others returned fire at the Killdozer, the Bullet Farmer inspected two bullets holes that had managed to pierce the side of the Peacemaker. Hmmm, looks like they got 'emselves a semi-auto rifle. Maybe an AR or somesuch, The Major thought.

The driver was now on the left side, shooting at the assailants with the FNC. The driver was fearing for his life: the armor would most likely hold, but he had only so much ammo, while it seemed like his opponents had more than enough. When the Peacemaker was almost out of his sights, a lucky bullet hit its mark.

"Gauge, pass me another drum!", Krinkov shouted at the older fighter. Looking at the target and holding his hand out towards Gauge's location, Krinkov wondered what was taking so long. Turning his head, he saw the reason: a bullet lodged in where Gauge's left eyeball used to be, his body slumped in the back of the Peacemaker.

"Man down, man down, the cackcracking fucker got Gauge!", Krinkov shouted at the others. Crimpnose stopped to reload and turned to look at his fallen comrade. There would be time to mourn later. Hesh quickly peered to the back to confirm Gauge's fate. He smiled; "Hey, I get his gun now!". 

"Think I'll join in the fun", the Major said to himself while picking up both of the MP5K-PDW's, dual-wielding them. Aiming at the Killdozer which remained immobile, the former major shouted a command:

"Open fire!", and the hail of gunfire recommenced upon the giant enemy brick.

The driver noted that the cacophony of "pings" emitting from the bullets hitting the dozer's armor was increasing in volume, but steeled himself and continued firing. As he stopped to reload his Ruger with the last remaining 20 round magazine, he noted that the enemy vehicle was hard to hit because of its superior speed. The driver thought up an idea to even the odds in the speed department. Leaving the Ruger, the man went to front of the vehicle where his most powerful rifle was located. Shouldering the Barret while laying prone (in a slightly uncomfortable manner, due to the interior's small space), he aimed.

As the Peacemaker finished another lap around the Killdozer, the Bullet Farmer heard a familiar sound from way before. BLAM!

"The future? HAH! None of us have a future", the man in the hardhat, presumably the leader, responded to the attempted trade negotiations. It was clear that they were not interested. "But you want water...?".

"Drink up! Ha hah!", the man laughed as he pissed down from the gargantuan rock. The Colonel never had a sense of humour. "Listed to me, brother", Joe started, "We can do this the easy way... or the hard way".

"Plenty have tried, mate. All have failed", The man boasted as he turned and walked towards an opening in the rock.

"The hard way then", Colonel Joe responded. Joe did not see that the men in the big rock were going to give him a little send-off gift. Luckily, one of his men had a sharp eye.

"Snipers!", He yelled.

BLAM BLAM BLAM. Three shots were fired down at them, taking the lives of two of the women and the sharp-eyed man, pushing Joe out of the way before an oversized bullet penetrated his skull.

And so the siege of the Citadel began.

"Damn, they got a fifty cal!", The Bullet Farmer yelled to his men as anti-material bullets whizzed past them with lighting speed. A few shots managed to hit the Peacemaker: two pierced the side, one dangerously close to Crimpnose's being, and one hit the a very important part. The Peacemaker stopped abruptly. Hesh's forehead hit the wheel pretty hard, Krinkov and Crimpnose fell to the floor and the former Major allmost fell off the vehicle.

"Hesh, report!", The Bullet Farmer commanded. The driver tried to start up the old warhorse, but nothing worked. "They got the engine pretty badly, its not going to move for a while!", Hesh yelled over the gunfire from Krinkov's and Crimpnose's guns. "Can you get it to work!?", The commander shouted the question. "Give me five minutes, and yeah, I can get it to work again!". Hesh was not only the driver of the famed Peacemaker, but he was also one of the best mechanics in the Bullet Farm. He had repaired more engines than he could count, even made a couple, too. Nothing was impossible for him.

Ever since the Peacemaker had stopped moving, the driver of the Killdozer had also stopped firing. In his adrenaline fueled state, he had not noticed that the Barret had ran dry. Cursing loudly for missing such a great opportunity to engage an easy target, he then realized that he had yet another weapon to attack with.

Restarting the engine, the man grinned a twisted smile as the Killdozer started to slowly but surely accelerate. All of the Peacemaker's occupants looked at the slowly approaching dozer. Crimpnose was the first of them to realize what the driver was planning to do.

"He's gonna tip us over!", He yelled, the dozer's blade approaching ever so closer. If the giant machine would tip the Peacemaker over, they were done for.

The Bullet Farmer walked to an unopened crate, its form worn over years of use. Opening the latch, he pulled out their final weapon. He could hear the dozer's engine coming dangerously close to the Peacemaker.

Crimpnose was firing his AK at the Killdozer since his life depended on it. Krinkov was also shooting his submachine-gun at the brick approaching towards them. Hesh was on the hood of the vehicle, frantically repairing the damaged engine. He knew he would not repair it in time.

"Get a load a'this". The Bullet Farmer squeezed the trigger and a 40 millimeter explosive round flew from the barrel of the M79. The round impacted straight on the center of the Killdozer's front armor. Nearly immediately the dozer stopped in its tracks.

"There, its fixed! Let's get outta here!", Hesh announced to the others.

"No. We're not done yet. Circle it again!", The former Major ordered. Hesh wanted nothing but to leave back to the safety of the convoy, but nevertheless he complied with the given order. The Peacemaker started circling the as of yet immobile Killdozer. Aiming at the unprotected set of treads, the Bullet Farmer aimed and fired. The round hit dead center. Opening the breech of the grenade launcher, he pulled the used casing and threw it to Crimpnose, who caught it and stored it into the ammo crate. Such rounds were rare, so they had to be reused to counter the small quantity of them. With a fresh new round inside the chamber, the Bullet Farmer waited until they were at the other side of the dozer. Once they were, he squeezed off another 40 millimeter round. This one was also a direct hit. The former Major allowed himself to smile for the accomplishment.

The first shot had caused the driver to jerk violently and his head collided with a wall. Dazed, the driver was only half-conscious, fighting back the darkness enveloping his eyesight. Another explosion shook him fully awake, and he noted that the Peacemaker was no longer in front of him. As he looked trough the firing port on the right side, the Peacemaker shoved itself to the driver, and yet another explosion rocked the Killdozer. As he decided to try to escape, he noted to his fright that the dozer did not move an inch.

Once again, the Peacemaker was stopped in front of the immobile vehicle.

"What do we do now, Sir? Should we keep attacking?", Krinkov asked their commander. "We should keep firing the Blooper at it until its in pieces!".

"We go back to the convoy", The Major decided, "We will get all of our guys, all of our tools, and bring 'em here and we'll drag that sorry sonovabitch out of that thing and I'll let you's decide what do with 'im". Hesh, Crimpnose and Krinkov were pleased with the verdict, and the Peacemaker turned towards the convoy. The man, unable to get out of the damaged vehicle, was trapped. He screamed for help inside the dozer, and he screamed for mercy while he was dragged out. He was given none.

Epilogue[]

Krinkov gulped down the contents of his mug, clean water from the Citadel. His throat had gone dry after telling his tale of how they took down the armored beast.

"Damn, I wish I woulda been there!", A War Boy exclaimed. Krinkov and the War Boy group that had escorted the water carrier were sitting in the Bullet Farm's only bar. There were six people in the group, excluding Krinkov, and they were sitting in shoddy chairs around the largest wooden table the bar had. "So, what happened then? My lancer 'ells me that he didn't see the Peacemaka' after the swamp". A couple War Boys nodded, interested in hearing more,

"Well, since the Peacemaker was too banged up to continue, the Immortan ordered the commander to return to the Bullet Farm. After we snuffed the guy, of course.". Not satisfied yet, one War Boy, the youngest one, maybe eighteen years or so, asked:

"What about you guys? What'd you do after tha'?".

"Oh, not much changed. Crimpnose got promoted, he's overseeing the bullet factory, and he get's to design some shit. Heard he's makin' a Thunderstick launcher or something like that. Hesh is still driving the Peacemaker. Me maself am also in the Peacemaker crew. And we got some new guy, and he's green as hell and dumber than desert lizard. Still, he shows promise."

"And what abou' the, uh... "brick"? Where's 'at?", The same War Boy asked. The others were all ears. "Ah, that, yeah. Hesh and the other blackfingers repaired it and-", before he could finish, the ground started to rumble. The War Boys looked confused, while Krinkov was as relaxed like there was nothing out of the ordinary. "Oh, speak of the devil". He pointed out to a hole in the bar's wall that doubled as a window. The War Boy's looked out and a heavily armored vehicle of great proportions rolled through. Clad in concrete and painted with ratty desert camouflage, the Killdozer was the newest addition to the Bullet Farm Armada.

"So yeah, we got it repaired and brought it here and its fuckin' amazing. Slow as hell, true, but almost invulnerable. A week ago some dumb Buzzard's tried to raid this place, but as soon as they saw that, they bolted away!", Krinkov laughed and slapped his knee, the War Boys joining in on the contagious laugh riot.

Far away, in the bog, the driver's cold and rotten body is being gnawed on by crow.

Expert's Opinion[]

While the Killdozer was heavily armored and was armed with good weaponry, the Peacemaker was far more mobile and was piloted by an experienced and trained crew, and coupled with the fact that all of the Killdozer's weapons were in fixed positions limited their effectiveness.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

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