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“ | Oh, I'm not gonna kill you. I'm just gonna hurt you really...really bad.
— The Joker
|
” |
The Joker is an extreme and infamously formidable psychopathic criminal from Gotham City, being at the very top of the city's criminal underworld, greatly feared by other crime bosses. Devoid of empathy or pity for anybody taking part in his wicked schemes either by intimidation or fraud, the Joker does, however, adore his girlfriend and partner in crime Harley Quinn, doing his utmost to rescue her from the Suicide Squad and clutches of Amanda Waller, with eventual success. The Joker is perhaps most infamous for his various duals with Batman, who almost retired after Joker murdered the vigilante's ward Robin.
It is known, however, that at one point, he fell into a boiling vat of toxic waste during a botched robbery at ACE Chemicals, permanently bleaching his hair and skin chalk-white. Seeing this disfigurement, the combination of chemical exposure and brain damage via oxygen deprivation drove him completely insane, into psychopathy. He dyed his hair emerald-green and began wearing lipstick and makeup to emulate a more theatrical, garish clown-like look. Thus was born the bombastic, psychopathic, fearsome, and murderous man who would shortly thereafter be nicknamed "The Joker".
Batman would come into conflict with the Joker on numerous occasions, leading him to becoming the vigilante's archnemesis. Upon repeated interactions, the Joker developed a sick and twisted love for the Dark Knight, the Batman Family, and their games together. Eventually, Batman would defeat and apprehend him, subsequently having the Joker imprisoned in Arkham Asylum for his numerous crimes.
Battle vs. Joker (Nolanverse) (by Elgb333)[]
It was almost midnight in the docks overlooking Gotham Bay, as several mob dealers can be seen transferring their precious merchandise into a warehouse. These criminals brought their cargoes ranging from guns, drugs, to even exotic animals and young women, basically everything illegal from different parts of the world, and now converging here in Gotham City, USA. The leader of the gangsters, the infamous terrorist Joker Ledger, monitors his business behind a window in his office.
Joker Ledger has no time for sleep and vacation tonight, since business as they say, never sleeps nor rest. Watching his men as they hurriedly load up their cargo in fear that he might become impatient and goes psychotic, the agent of chaos and now unchallenged owner of Gotham City, reminisce nights like these which used to offer him a challenge. Ever since he found the results of that social experiment, drove Harvey Dent mad and defeated the Batman once and for all, he’s taken control of the city and now feels bored. The dog it seems, has finally chased down that car, and not knowing what to do, misses the days when the night offered actual knights for him to battle.
It doesn’t also help that last night, he had a dream in which a grotesque midget-like abomination with a big head appeared above his bed saying, “Now what to do… what to do… That Batman Beyond vs The GODDAMN Batman was awesomz! I need something to top it off... something more spectacular! Oh wait! Hey there Heath – I mean the Joker! I’m Batmite by the way, and man oh man have you given me one hell of an idea for my next fight. Wait there okay. You’re going to earn your next Oscar win!”
A crazy dream... even too crazy for the Joker Ledger himself. Having no appetite for sleep since last night, the Joker Ledger decided to rather stay awake and check his business tonight instead. But as he was watching his gang, one of his men knocked on his door, went inside and said, “Sorry to barge in boss, but we found this package in one of yo' trucks. We don’t know what it is but it’s light and…”
Joker Ledger suddenly turns around, looks at the man with serious eyes, and approaches him while clicking on his switchblade. The man, panicking, kept thinking as the Joker was approaching him, what the hell did he do wrong and what the Joker's going to do to him. Sweating, nervous and ready to piss himself, the gangster prayed for his life as the mad psycho comes closer towards him. As the knife was almost near his body, the Joker Ledger suddenly grabs his hand holding the package and stabs his knife on the box. The man almost screamed as he thought that his palm got kebabed by the knife, but Joker Ledger shows him that his hand was fine and that the knife didn’t went through almost. As the man breathed heavily, the Joker smiles and said, “I hired killers of men, not cowards who’re scared easy from a little knife.”
He slices open the package, and what the gangster saw inside completely creeped him out. Inside were dozens of wet, moist and stinking used condoms, mixed in with some Joker playing cards.
With his smile turning upside down, Joker slowly looks at the nervous man and asked gently, “Okay… who’s the funny guy who sent me this?”
Suddenly, a huge explosion rocks the warehouse; destroying the doors and creating a huge hole. Bullets then came flying from what used to be the entrance and the whole place was soon engulfed in fire. Joker Ledger managed to duck, narrowly avoiding the hailstorm of bullets, but the man holding the package disintegrated into a heap of red smoke and chili from the lead that were flying everywhere. The rest of Joker Ledger’s men either went down the floor or took cover behind the crates to avoid being hit.
Men wearing lavish costumes and props then came in swarming with guns blazing. Many of them were dressed in some creepy weird fetish costumes or nutty cosplays, like giant eyeballs or a goat for a head. After they entered, another clown came waltzing into the warehouse, catching the attention of Joker Ledger.
“What do we have here?” Joker Leto said as he appeared in all his bling and glory, before putting his hand with the smiling lips tattoo on his mouth and laughing “Nyeeeaaarh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heeeeeeehhhhh….”
The Joker Ledger and his men, though confused by the sudden appearance of these weirdos, nonetheless opened fire on them. The Joker with his Glock scored a direct hit on one of the men who was wearing a huge eyeball for a head, bursting that head like a smashed lightbulb.
Several of the Joker Ledger gangs, now sporting their iconic clown masks, grabbed more powerful weapons from the crates and continued firing. One of Joker Leto’s hired gun, who was stumbling around inside a frigging panda costume, offered a large target for them to shoot at with their submachine guns.
“What the hell do you people want? We don’t got no beef with you!” One of the Joker Ledger gang member said.
“You don’t want no beeeeeeef?” Joker Leto replied. “You don’t want no beef? You don’t want no beef? Oh I’m not here because of beef. Some midget came to me and told me everything. There’s only one room for a clown in this town, and you my scarred friend… is not the Joker who can clown around my Gotham.”
Joker Ledger smirks, “Oh great, I’m so thrilled.”
“Get my men some cover Mr. Frost,” Joker Leto said to his second in command. Some of the intruders started unleashing their military-grade weapons like H&Ks and AKs and started shooting back at the Joker Ledger Gang. The sheer power and range from these guns punctured through their covers and pounded some of them like game, hitting one in the chest, killing him. Joker Leto just laughs as the carnage intensifies, shooting his gun all around like a crazy maniac.
Joker Ledger kept calm and crawled on the floor to get a better position, while simultaneously firing back at his enemies. His gang is now being overwhelmed, and one of Joker Leto’s man who’s wearing a silly Batman face mask climbs on top of some crates and takes potshots at Joker Ledger’s gangsters below, hitting one in the head and spraying his gray matter on a wall. One of them, realizing that the fight ain’t that worth it, started to bail on Joker Ledger, but the men under Joker Leto didn’t cared and just shot him in the back anyways.
As his remaining men tried to hold ground, Joker Ledger positions himself behind a huge crate. He grabs an M67 frag grenade, takes out the pin and throws it at Joker Leto’s gang. The guy wearing the funny Batman mask got his legs instantly blown from under him, and the explosion distracted the rest of Joker Let’s gang long enough for Joker Ledger’s Gang to push forward.
As the Joker Ledger gets up to join his men as they counter-attacked, one of Joker Leto’s henchman wearing a goat mask appeared from the side and opened fire with his machine gun, making a creepy goat sound as he does so. But Joker Ledger luckily dodges the bullets before rushing at the man with the metal pipe. He first hits the guy in the leg, shattering his shin and putting the guy down crying in pain. Joker Ledger then continues to bash the guy in the head with the pipe, laughing “Woh- Hahaha Wohahaha HAHAHAHAHA” in glee until the guy’s skull was completely crushed.
Joker Leto himself hits a bullseye with his pistol after shooting one of Joker Ledger’s gangsters in the eye. Having had enough and now running out of henchmen, Joker Ledger takes what remained of his gang to another corner of the warehouse filled with more weapons. As they retreated, one of his men unluckily got cut in half from machine gun fire courtesy of one of Joker Leto’s men.
Afterwards, Joker Leto and his men regrouped. He ordered them to scout the rest of the place to look for the other Joker, when suddenly an RPG rocket came out of nowhere and hits one poor bastard dressed up like a Daft Punk reject, blowing him up to bits. The explosion threw Joker Leto and Mr. Frost like ragdolls to the floor. Joker Ledger was the one who fired that shot and he and his henchman quickly followed by trying to empty the magazine of their machine guns at them.
As bullets flew dangerously close, Mr. Frost grabs the moaning Joker Leto and carries him outside. “Hurry Mr. Frost,” Joker Leto murmured while still disoriented. “I can’t wait to show this hunka hunka my toys…”
As Joker Ledger and his came in pursuit, Joker yells at them, “And where do you think you’re going? You’re gonna miss more of the fireworks” as he fires another rocket at them but misses.
Arriving outside the docks, Joker Ledger and his men stop and continue their chase in the streets. They slowed down and looked around, but kept themselves ready just in case that psycho shows himself. As they kept searching, Joker Ledger’s last henchman knows that if this guy has the balls to call himself a Joker as well, he’s got to be as psychotic and unpredictable as his boss.
And what he thought of was right. While they were prepared for whatever that psycho might throw at them, Joker Ledger and his henchman couldn't have been prepared for a large helicopter which suddenly appeared in the sky and started hovering towards them. The back door of the chopper opened and there they saw Mr. Frost driving the crate, and Joker Leto laughing and shooting at them with his golden-plated assault rifle.
Joker Ledger and the goon quickly bolted to the opposite direction as Joker Leto continued laughing and firing wildly at them. As they were running, Joker Ledger took a burst of rifle fire in his leg, badly mauling it and putting him down helpless on the floor. His henchman tried to help him up as the chopper was gaining on them, but Joker Ledger pushed him away and said, “Don’t mind me. Take out this sucker!” before handing the man a cable launcher. The gangster silently nods and runs towards the nearest building he can find.
As Joker Leto’s chopper approaches him, Joker Ledger uses his submachine gun to stand up while accidentally firing off some bullets, before aiming at the helicopter. His bullets proved useless as the chopper still kept on coming and Joker Leto still keeping it weird with his assault rifle. Joker Ledger then throws his submachine gun away, stood his ground, and focuses his eye on the chopper, while saying, “Come on, come on. Hit me. HIT ME!”
“Hah-hah-hah-heeeeeee…” Joker Leto said as he laughs loudly while stretching his face and spinning his head. He continues firing his assault rifle at Joker Ledger, who didn’t mind the bullets whizzing around him. The chopper kept going towards him, even though the street was too narrow and the chopper was getting sandwiched in between two huge apartment buildings.
"Sir we're awfully getting close to the street. Its getting too dangerous we have to fall back!" Mr. Frost warned Joker Leto.
But Joker Leto just kept on firing his assault rifle like a loon and yelled at Mr. Frost, "Don't you dare stop FROST! Keep on em! Keep on em! Like a mad bull in Chinatown just KEEP ON EM!"
“RACK HIM UP! Rack him up, rack him up, rack him up,” Joker suddenly yelled. In one the buildings, his remaining goon fires a grappling cable that attaches to the wall of the opposite building next to it. The attack helicopter hits the cable and slightly loses its balance. Its blades however, shredded the concrete buildings, before the rotor finally blew up and sent the chopper plummeting to the street. The falling chopper almost hits Joker Ledger as it plummeted, abut he just stood there unflinching and watched as it crashed behind him.
The once intimidating attack helicopter was now just a pile of burning metal and smoke as Joker and his henchman approached it. Mr, Frost, the driver of the damn thing, was badly ripped apart and what remained of his corpse was now burning. Joker Ledger signaled his henchman to go in and recon the area.
While they were looking inside the crash site, they saw a badly wounded Joker Leto crawling and trying desperately to get back on his feet, coughing up blood but still giggling in a low voice. “Well well well,” Joker Ledger gloated as they slowly approach the wounded man.
“Oh you’re not gonna kill me,” Joker Leto said as he finally gets up. "But after this, I am gonna hurt ya'... really, really, bad." And before they can pull the trigger of their guns, Joker Leto drops a smoking flashbang grenade that rolls towards their feet, before exploding and blinding them. Joker Ledger fell on his feet scratching his eyes and cursing in pain, while his henchman cried as hot tears flowed from his eyes. A shot rang out and hits the henchman right between the eyes; the shot coming from Joker Leto’s pistol.
Hearing the loud bang, Joker Ledger quickly moves into cover and readies himself. Both men were severely injured: Joker Ledger has a badly wounded leg and painfully sore eyes, and Joker Leto has a few bones broken, torn flesh and burned skin from the crash he just survived. Even so, these men were still determined to keep on going, to keep on killing, and prove who deserves to be the real Joker. Only pride and a ton of insanity were keeping these men alive and ready to battle, while also keeping big smiles on their faces.
Joker Ledger attacks first, firing his machine pistol at Joker Leto but the latter manage to duck behind the burning framework of the chopper. Joker Leto fires off a few rounds of his own, but the Glock kept him pin down and outgunned.
“So what makes you think you can be me? Hmmm?” Joker Ledger said as he loads a new clip.
“For a lot of reasons,” Joker Leto said. “I’m a crazy clown but I also have a crazy-ass girlfriend. Do you have a girlfriend, freak?”
“I’m not…” Joker Ledger said as he continues firing bullets at Joker Leto. Unbeknownst to him, Joker Leto had already snuck away from his cover and was already behind him. He approaches Joker Ledger from behind, but the latter managed to sense his presence and turns around to shoot him. Joker Leto however was too quick and disarms Joker Ledger, before slapping him in the face Robin-style. The force of that slap almost knocked Joker Ledger out as his body fell on the ground.
Joker Leto aims his Colt at Joker Ledger’s head, tired and panting from all the fighting. “Change of plans, I ain't gonna hurt you no more. I’ll just gonna kill you right away.”
“Now we talking,” Joker Ledger said still kneeling on the ground smiling. But as Joker Leto was already going to pull the trigger, Joker Ledger suddenly stabs him in the gut with a broken piece of glass from the chopper. Joker Leto yells in pain but Joker Ledger soon followed by stabbing him in the left lung, before pulling him down by the trousers and pushing him to the ground. As he kneels on Joker Leto below him, he puts that glass shard firmly on his mouth.
As Joker Leto struggles, Joker ledger shushes him like a child before saying in a gently voice,” You wanna know how I got these scars?”
Joker Leto continues to struggle, desperately trying to get away from Joker Ledger’s grasp. Joker Ledger looks at him for a sec, looks at the burning cinder they were at, before looking back at Joker Leto and saying “You won’t gonna believe me but it was a tiny little bat who did this. But it seems that we don’t have time for that, though I will let you know how you got these...”
And after he said those words he then slashes Joker Leto’s cheeks slowly and painfully as blood spurted on both their face. Joker Ledger then releases him from his grasp and allows him to scream in pain as his jaws started to rip away from themselves, creating a large bloody Glasgow grin.
Joker Ledger then stood up and towers on the defeated Joker Leto, laughing maniacally as he watches Joker Leto bleed and burn to death. With a smile like that, Joker Ledger thought humorously, the freak now at least looks the part.
Expert’s Opinion[]
It was very tough deciding who’s going to win since both were neck to neck in the comments. In the end, the majority of experts believed that while Joker Leto has the advantage of military graded weaponry, they were not suited for his psychotic and impulsive ways. Joker Ledger’s weapons on the other hand had more rate of fire that worked perfectly with his twisted mind.
Another reason why the experts chose Joker Ledger is because he’s smarter, more cunning and can create better plans that allows him to triumph over Joker Leto’s impulsive and reckless fighting style.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Negan (TV Series) (by HanSolo69)[]
Prologue[]
*POW*
Simon and Dwight flinched as their boss slammed his beloved barbed wire baseball bat on the desk. Negan was, evidently, not in a good mood. The two men stood uncomfortably, waiting for his next outburst. Negan regained his composure, switching from a snarl to his trademark grin.
"So..." he purred, in an uncomfortably chipper tone, "A whole outpost full of my guys, and my guns, disappears and gets replaced with a bunch of decomposing assholes circle-jerking each other, and then I ask you what the hell happened, and all I get is "I don't know""?
Simon turned and looked at Dwight, signaling to him to speak. He looked at his feet and gulped, trying to find the right words.
"We don't know what happened. But we all know who did it." Negan's shit-eating grin grew even wider as began to chuckle to himself. Of-fucking-course, he thought. That little shit named Rick.
"Welp, its 'bout time we paid good ol' Alexandria a visit. Maybe they need a reminder s to who they belong to..."
"No need." interjected Simon. He reached into his jacket packet and pulled out a map, tossing it on the table. he adjusted it, showing several red marks pointed towards a circle. "One of the patrols brought this back. They think that's where Rick is storing all his shit. he's smart enough not to hide them in the towns themselves."
Negan surveyed the map, contemplating what he had been told. His face break out into another grin.
"Well, time to stop playin' grab-ass and find our shit..."
MEANWHILE
"HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhh..."
Amongst a circle of guns, knives, and other random objects, a flamboyantly dressed man lied on the ground, laughing to himself. He had bright green hair, blood red lips, and chalk-white skin. The Joker wasn't happy. Not one bit. Thanks to the Bat, something of his was gone. Something very important. Locked up in some hellhole for him. Gotta hand it to ya, Batsy, he thought. Couldn't have thought of a better joke myself.
The door opened. Frost, his right hand man, stepped in and sat in a chair just outside the circle. He suffled somewhat awkwardly.
"Boss..." he said, "We think we found her."
This got the Joker's attention. He slowly sat up, eyes drousily focused on Frost. "Where?', he drew out quietly.
"Some old facility in Virginia. That's what the prison guard said."
Joker stared him down. He then slowly break out into his trademark sadistic grin.
"Time to get back whats mine..."
Fight[]
TBA
Expert's Opinion[]
TBW
To see the original battle, weaponry, and votes, click here.