Joker's thugs were a group of criminals, in part a combination of small-time robbers and mentally-ill escapees of Arkham Asylum, who served under the Joker as his henchmen.
Five small-time criminals served under the Joker in the robbery of Gotham National Bank, four of which were methodically or accidentally killed off in the heist. The Joker himself posed as one of his thugs, going by the call-sign Bozo. Going by one of the people involved, Grumpy's response about splitting it up into six shares instead of five, the heist wasn't the first time where Joker disguised himself as one of his own thugs when they participated in a crime of some sort.
Another group of the Joker's thugs crashed a fundraiser for new D.A., Harvey Dent. Outside one of the Joker's thugs tried to ambush Bruce Wayne, but Wayne easily defeated him. Also, the thugs, including the Joker himself, fought Batman but made a speedy escape after throwing Rachel Dawes out of a shattered window. There were seven members of the Party Thugs.
Before Commissioner Loeb's funeral, the Joker and his thugs kidnapped some Honor Guards who were to be at the funeral and took their guns and uniforms to assassinate Mayor Garcia. They tied up the real Honor Guards in Melvin White's apartment. At the funeral, the Joker shot Lieutenant Gordon, who got in front of the Mayor. The Joker and his thugs escaped, while Thomas Schiff was shot in the leg and kidnapped by Harvey Dent.
Battle vs. Highschool of the Dead Survivors (by MrPacheco101)[]
HOTD: 
Joker: 
Deep in an abandoned building the HOTD Gang (Takashi, Rei, Saeko, and Kohta) are resting for the night. Suddenly they hear a commotion in the main doorway, and they each grab their weapons and check to see what's going on. They arrive and find The Joker and his three thugs checking out the area. Kohta hides behind a table, readies his SR-25, aims it at a thug holding a sawed-off Remington 870, and pulls the trigger. The bullet hits the thug right between the eyes and he falls dead. Joker sees the clown minion die and tells the other two to seperate; Joker then snatches the Remington off the corpse and goes on his own. Takashi tells his team to go their seperate ways, but Kohta stays behind to kill any remaining enemies. Joker sneaks up behind Kohta and aims the shotgun, laughing to himself. He whistles to get Kohta's attention. Kohta turns around and sees the shotgun aimed at his face. The Joker pulls the trigger and Kohta's face is blown to smithereens. He then throws the gun away and walks off.
One of the Joker's thugs follows Rei in an abandoned hallway.He aims his M1 Garand and fires but misses Rei by an inch. Rei hides behind a wall and attaches her bayonet to her Match rifle. The thug then arrives to Rei's location, but is caught by surprise when Rei hits the Thug in the stomach with the rifle's butt, then kicks him in the face knocking him on the floor. Rei then steps on the thug's stomach and thrusts her bayonet rifle into his chest, killing him instantly. Rei pulls it out and proceeds to walk away, but is grabbed by the head by a mysterious figure, who says, "Hi." It is the Joker, whio smiles a false smile then slits her throat and lets her fall . The Joker cleans his knife with his coat and then kicks Rei's corpse saying, "Hey! You awake?" to see if she's alive. He shruggs and walks away
Saeko is hiding inside a room, waiting for someone to open the door, when the doorknob turns. Saeko readies her katana. The door opens, and Joker's last thug peeps inside. Saeko charges at her opponent and slices the clown's neck open. The thug grabs his throat, gasping for air, and dies . Saeko puts away her katana and smiles at her work, but she then she sees the Joker at the doorway. He walks in nonchalantly and Saeko readies her katana. Saeko charges at the Joker and tries to slash him, but misses. The Joker then tries to stab her with the combat knife, but Saeko dodges it and kicks the Joker in the shins, causing him to collapse to one knee. She elbows him in the face, and he begins to laugh as he falls facedown on the ground. Saeko readies herself for the final blow, when suddenly the Joker pulls out his S&W M76 from his coat and fires multiple times, killing Saeko instantly. Joker gets up and hears footsteps in the hallway. He then goes to hide.
Takashi is in the hallway, Riot Shotgun ready, when he spots an open door. Takashi goes and checks it out, and finds Saeko's corpse riddled with bullets. Shocked by the gruesome sight, he dosen't see the Joker creeping up behind him. Takashi turns to find Joker standing in front of him, a big childish smile on the clown's face. Takashi tries to aim, but is shot by the Joker in the arm and he drops his weapon. Joker then throws away the gun and grabs Takashi by the throat. "Why so serious?" the Joker asks as he puts the knife in front of Takashis face.The Joker puts the Knife inside of Takashi's mouth, and he says, "Let's put a smile on that face,"
The screen goes black, and the Joker's laughter can be heard, followed by a wretched scream.
Winner: The Joker
Expert's Opinion[]
Even though the thugs were no match for the HOTD Gang, it was the Joker's intelligence and unpredictability that proved him a worthy adversary and made him the victor.
To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Lao Che's Gang (by El Alamein)[]
Lao Che's Gang: 
The Joker Gang: 
A big yellow school bus pulls up outside of Club Obi-Wan. Dopey and Happy sneak around the side of the nightclub while Chuckles and Grumpy burst in through the front door. The club is bright and lively and most of the partygoers don't notice the intrustion of the clowns... until Chuckles raises his MAC-10 and fires off an entire clip into the air. "Everybody get DOWN!" he shouted. The club erupted into a scene of pandemonium, Grumpy firing his Glock handgun randomly into the air.
Behind the counter, several members of Lao Che's mafia duck in surprise. Their weapons are stashed in the counter, and they pop up with revolvers and a Thompson, spraying back at the Joker gang. The goons are caught by surprise but the Chinese gangsters hip-firing are doing themselves no favor in accuracy. Two more Lao Che gangsters are hiding in the crowd, and one of them picks up a flaming shish kabob and hurls it point-blank at Grumpy. The flaming stick flies through the air at the criminal but it doesn't cause him physical damage. Grumpy turns his Glock over at the mafioso and plugs several shots into his forehead. Towards the back of the bar, Happy and Dopey burst in with revolvers but, unfortunately for them, the Lao Che mafiosos turn with the Thompson and spray them down at point blank range.
Chuckles swears and sprays the MAC-10 into the crowd as he and Grumpy try to make their escape. Outside, the bus driver holds a S&W Model 15 revolver and nervously looks over his shoulder as Grumpy and Chuckles clamber in, ducking behind the seats. "Drive! Drive"! spits Grumpy.
As the bus driver starts to drive away, a 1931 Reo Flying Cloud spins around the corner and Lao Che's mafiosos lean out of the window, popping off shots from their revolvers and spraying with the Thompson. The rounds clink and clang against the side of the bus. Grumpy puts a new magazine into his Glock, whacks the side of the handgun against the back of the bus window, breaking it, and leans out, shooting back. One of the bullets hits one of the Lao Che gangsters in the neck, and he drops his revolver and grabs his throat as it bleeds out. The body is pushed out the window and sprawls out into the busy Shanghai traffic. The smaller Flying Cloud car manages to catch up to the larger bus. Grumpy grins under his mask as he points his Glock at the driver of the car, but his magazine is empty. He ducks back behind the seats as more bullets thump against the side of the bus. The bus driver spins the wheel and rams the Flying Cloud, just as one of the Chinese gangsters fires his revolver into the bus driver's head. The bus slams into the smaller car and both vehicles spin out of control, crashing on the side of the road. The Flying Cloud flips over and plows into the side of a brick building. As the dust clears, the car driver's forehead is smashed open and he's limp over the steering wheel.
Grumpy and Chuckles stagger out of the bus' emergency exit on the roof, their revolvers in hand. The two remaining Lao Che gangsters clamber out of the car wreck with their revolvers. Chuckles fires off two shots, injuring one of the gangsters, before the two Joker goons take off down the marketplace. Lao Che's men give chase, the injured one falling behind. The Joker's men run bast market stalls and through sweatshops before they come to a dead end down an alley. A fire escape sits six feet above them. "Give me a boost," says Grumpy. Chuckles pushes him up to the fire escape and reaches up for help when two shots ring out. Chuckles jerks and blood flies through the air before he crumples to the ground. Grumpy ducks into the shadows, painfully aware of how visible he is up on the fire escape. The Lao Che gangsters turn around, satisfied, and start to walk away. Grumpy looks down at Chuckles, who struggles to his feet. They nod and shoot at the Chinese gangsters, dropping both of Lao Che's men with multiple shots to the back and neck.
Grumpy hops down from the fire escape and lands a little painfully, but walks over to the injured Chuckles. "Man, some hit, huh?"
"The boss isn't gonna be pleased," says Chuckles, leaning against the side of the wall.
People are still screaming and police sirens sound in the distance. "No, he won't be pleased at all." Grumpy agrees.
"It's just as well - a lot easier to divide by three, eh?" Chuckles laughs. He holds up the money bag he's been carrying this whole time. "The boss told me that."
"Chuckles - know what the boss told me?" Grumpy whacks Chuckles on the back of the head with his revolver, breaking open his skull and sending him to the floor. "He told me it's a lot easier to divide by two." Grumpy picks up the bag, takes off his mask, and leaves the three dead bodies in the alleyway, smiling to himself.
Expert's Opinion[]
While the Joker's gang were a fickle and cowardly bunch, their superior weapons and strong advantage with the school bus kept them in a solid lead that the disciplined Lao Che's gang couldn't beat with inferior technology.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. MacRay Gang (by Thundertri)[]
Joker Gang:
MacRay Gang:
Intro[]
Vanderbilt Avenue, New York City
8:37 PM
The Joker Gang A large yellow school bus rounds the bend onto Vanderbilt Avenue in New York and proceeds to a sidestreet beside Grand Central Station, swarming with people. Cars honk their horns as they maneuver around the big bus and towards their destinations. Looming skyscrapers and highrises shade the bus as it enters an alley behind a cheap Italian restraunt. The bus slows to a hault as wheels grind and squeal in a rusty chorus.
A fat man dressed in a greasy apron, cheap khakis and a chef's hat walks out the backdoor and holds his fist up in the air, "Hey, you can't park back here, private property. Employees only! Don't you read the damn signs?" he shouts in a thick Italian accent.
The bus' doors open and a man in a custom purple suit and green pinstriped shirt steps out. His face, covered in a white makeup, his hair; green like a tangle of overgrown vines. Red scars reach up towards the crown of his head from his cherry red lips. He smiles and pulls out a Smith & Wesson model 29 snub. The chef backs up as the man aims his revolver. "I must've missed them," he says, pulling the trigger on his pistol. The man falls back against the brick wall, blood staining his apron even further.
Two thugs dressed in pruple and black suits step out from the bus. Brandishing clown masks and Glocks, they walk over to the wounded chef.
"Please, don't hurt me," the chef pleads, clutching his bloody chest.
The first of the two thugs walks over and shuts the door, the second heaves the chef up by the strap on his apron and pushes him against the wall. He presses the barrel of his Glock to the back of the chef's sweaty, bald head.
"Please, no!" He gasps.
The thug tilts his head, then holsters his Glock to his hip. He pats the chef on the head and begins to walk away with the Joker and the second thug.
"Thank the lord," the chef says, gripping his chest, "Thankyou Jesus!" he continues, looking up at the night sky.
3 more thugs step out of the bus carrying assault rifles and pistols. The man with the green hair raises his hand and points at the chef who continues to face the wall on his knees, in deep prayer. One of the thugs walks over to the praying chef and shoots him with his suppressed Beretta.
The battle[]
Grand Central Station, New York City
8:45 PM
The Joker Gang VS The MacRay Gang The Joker motions to the bus driver to move the bus away from the alley and towards the side of the station. The bus rumbles to a start and begins to back out of the alley. It slides neatly into a large, empty parking spot beside the station. The Joker and his gang walk across the street surprisingly undetected by the civilians driving by them, and walks next to the bus, "Stay here, we'll radio if we need you," he says to the driver. The driver nods and pulls out a Gotham city newspaper to hide his mask. The front article on the paper "Joker Strikes Again".
The Joker returns his attention to his gang, "Get in, get what we need and get out."
The gang members nod and cock their weapons.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
A Chrysler minivan pulls around the bend to Vanderbilt Avenue, tires squealing as it makes it way through the thick traffic. Within the van, the sounds of clicks and taps ring in the cabin as the MacRay Gang load and cock their weapons. Doug looks at the driver, Albert, "You know where we're going, right?" he asks.
"Of course," Albert begins, "Grand central f--king station. Where else would we go?"
Doug lets out a slight chuckle as the van pulls around a side street beside the station, "Isn't it a bit late for a field trip?" Jem asks, pointing to a school bus parked next to the station.
"Seems suspicious, what kind of shcool takes a field trip to a train station?" Desmond asks, sliding a magazine into his HK416.
"I dunno, but we've got a job to do, and a weird ass school field trip isn't going to stop us," Doug says.
"Doug," Desmond begins, "If there are kids on a field trip here, then there are kids in there. We can't honestly go through with this."
Doug stares at his feet and looks back up as he parks in an empty parking space. "We've got a job to do, but no un-necessary violence," he looks at Jem, "You got that?"
Jem nods, "Masks on boys," he says, placing his nun mask over his head and grabbing his HK416.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
The Joker and his gang push their way through the thick crowd outside of the station covertly. As they come to the door, a man holds the door open for the Joker, but at the sight of the clown prince of crime's face, he cringes and steps back, "Dude, what's wrong with your face?" he asks.
"What's wrong with your's," The Joker retorts.
"Nothing I-" The man begins, but is shot in the face by the Joker and his revolver.
"Now I see, you've got a bullet in it," The Joker says, holstering his revolver. People scream at the sound of the gunshot and run for the door.
Chuckles raises his Mac and fires multiple shots into the air. The bullets strike multiple glass windows, showering the crowd with shards of broken glass. More screams erupt in the massive station area. The Joker exchanges his Smith & Wesson snub for his full auto Glock on his belt and raises it. He walks down the marble staircase into the center of the massive and elegant station. His gangsters run around the sides, securing thre area and pushing any stragglers and attempted escapees back into the center of the elaborate station.
Grumpy fires two shots of his Glock into the air, "Quiet!!!" he shouts angrily.
The Joker turns to Grumpy, "Thankyou, now, find what we're after, don't stop until you've got it. Kill anyone who dares prevent you from getting it," he says to the gang. Each of the members nod abegin to walk towards the staircase on the other side of the room.
The people in the station begin to stampede away as the gang shoulder their way through them. The Joker fires another burst from his Glock into the air creating more screams and shouts. A brave teenagre charges at the joker, bearing his gloved fists and a thick shard of broken glass. The Joker turns and fires a burst into the attacker's chest, killing him instantly, "Heroics," The Joker sighs sarcastically, turning back towards the elaborate staircases. Ahead of him, a large balcony with marble staircases on either side. Grumpy fires his M16 towards the balcony, screams and shouts erupt as several civilians drop to the ground in a pool of blood.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
The MacRay gang run up to the doors, "That was f--king gunfire!" Doug shouts, charging through the crowd, OSW Carbine in hand. "There's someone else after it!"
Desmond runs through the doors and fires four 4 shots of his Ruger into the air, clearing the crowd away from him. "Who the hell are they?" Desmond asks, pointing to the Joker in the distance.
Doug looks over at the Joker, "Those are the guys that are after what we're after! Get them!" He shouts, charging off towards the Joker and his men.
Albert and Desmond exchange glances before running down the small set of steps and into the main area.
The Joker turns to see the MacRay men charging, he points to Grumpy "Open fire!"
Grumpy turns and lets loose with his M16, killing one of the charging, unamed gangsters.
Joker Gang:
MacRay Gang:
Doug turns, mid sprint to see his friend fall to the ground, blood shooting out the back of his lifeless body like a hose. Turning back to the fight he continues to run, firing his OSW as he does. Gunfire erupts in large numbers as the two gangs begin their battle.
Chuckles drops a grenade down from the balcony and into the cluster of MacRay gangsters. jem picks it up and tosses it into the air. The small M67 explodes in midair, the blast knocking over Chuckles and Dopey. Happy runs over to the balcony and fires his Beretta down from it. One of the shots hits Jem in the shoulder, knocking him back onto a large, decorative trash can in the middle of the floor.
Desmond covers the fallen Jem with his HK416, spraying the Joker Gang with bullets.
Grumpy motions for Happy to move up as he stands from his fall. Happy nods and runs to the left staircase, continuing to fire his Beretta. Chuckles and Doepy give him cover, Chuckles with his Mac-10 and Dopey with his revolver. Dopey fires the sixth shot from his revolver and unloads the shells from its cylinder, then, he holsters the pistol and grabs his M16A2 and slips a fresh magazine into it. He aims the rifle down range and begins to spray bullets down range.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
The Joker runs up the staircase and to the back of the station, at the ticket booth. Several stragglers scramble away from the booths as he arrives. He presses his Glock to the glass, a frightened ticket salesman looks up from behind his hiding spot beneath his desk. "D-don't shoot," the salesman manages to sputter out.
The Joker turns his head back, looking at the fight, "I won't, but they might," He says cruely.
The salesman's face turns white as snow as he looks past The Joker. "Unless you tell train number thirty five to come into the station. I understand your emergency protocol calls for every train to stop at the nearest station in case of an emergency. This protocol will not apply to train number thirty five, you understand me, correct?" The Joker says.
"I-I just sell the tickets," The salesman replies.
The Joker cocks the hammer on his Glock, "You don't want me to have to use this. I know damn well who you are, you don't sell the tickets. You're the one who calls this protocol, you're the emergency advisor."
"How do you know that?"
"It says it on your name tag, Jeff."
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Jem ducks behind a large plant as he reloads his HK416. The constant gunfire numbing his ears, he turns and fires a burst of rounds around the corner. The wound in his shoulder pulsed as blood leaked from it. "Doug, we need some more firepower! These bastards are putting up quite a fight despite their looks!"
Doug nods and runs to the bottom of the balcony, Albert, Desmond and an unamed gangster providing cover with their weapons. He places a small stick of C4 beneath the marble balcony and wires it. Suddenly, the sound of sirens echoes in the distance.
"Doug, we gotta hurry this up!" Albert shouts, firing his Mini Uzi.
Doug nods and runs away from the balcony, suddenly, Chuckles lands a shot to the back of Doug's calf with his Mac. Doug drops to the ground, bullets plink around him on the decorative, tiled floor around him. His rifle skids away from him. Turing to his back, he draws his HK USP Compact and fires mulitple shots in the direction of the Joker Gang. In his other hand, he presses the button of the detonator. The balcony blows sending chunks of marble flying. As the dust clears, Dopey is left covered in blood and dust.
Joker Gang:
MacRay Gang:
Doug stands and coughs, he stares around, "They're gone, move! We've gotta get that case they're after!" he shouts, picking up his OSW and running up the stairs. Suddenly, sub machine gun fire erupts from around the hall.
Chuckles fires his Mac blindly around the corner of the hall, behind him, Grumpy, Happy, The Joker and Jeff the advisor run towards the terminal. He slides behind the wall and reloads his Mac as the MacRay gang charge up the stairs, guns blazing. Chuckles rounds the bend fires his Mac into the unamed MacRay gangster's chest. Blood spurts out from his chest as he falls.
Joker Gang:
MacRay Gang:
Jem raises his HK416 and lets loose a burst just as Chuckles ducks back behind the corner and takes off down the hall. He ducks behind a column and reaches for a fresh magazine for his Mac. Finding no such clip for his sub machine gun, he tosses it aside and grabs his Glock and combat knife.
Desmond inches near the pillar and slings his HK416 by the strap over his shoulder. He grabs his hunting knife and rolls around the column. Chuckles shoots his Glock into Desmond's bicep, the shot just grazes creating no significant wound. Desmond thrusts with his knife, Chuckles blocks and slashes Desmond's mask. Desmond takes a second thrust into Chuckles' chest. Chuckles falls back against the pillar leaving a streak of blood on it. He reaches for his Glock, but Desmond shoots him twice in the head with his Ruger.
Joker Gang:
MacRay Gang:
Desmond sheathes his knife and holsters his pistol at his waist and turns to Doug, Albert and Jem.
"Well done," Jem says, patting Desmond on the back as he runs off towards the terminal. Albert and Doug follow him, running with their weapons.
Desmond shakes his head and takes off after them.
Happy and Grumpy run slide behind a row of plastic chairs in the terminal. Grumpy reloads his M16 and checks the ammo in his Glock. "You ready, Happy?" he asks, aiming his assault rifle down range.
"Ready as I'll ever be," Happy replies, unholstering his Beretta.
The MacRay men burst through the doors and open fire immediately. Grumpy shoots back with his M16, he lands a grazing shot on Albert who retaliates by spraying his mini Uzi across the area. One of the shots hits Grumpy in the shoulder, knocking him down. Grumpy rolls over to his chest and crawls over to a long counter. He sits behind it and reloads his M16.
Happy drops his empty Beretta and throws a frag grenade into the cluster of MacRay men. The nun masked gangsters disperse and scramble for cover. Happy picks up his Beretta and runs behind the counter with Grumpy. He slips another mag into his Beretta and peers over the coutner at the MacRay gang who begin to come out from cover. "These bastards don't give up," he says, firing several shots at them with his pistol.
Grumpy nods and sprays his M16 over the counter blindly.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
The Joker sits down on a bench next to the train tracks with Jeff beside him. He pulls a newspaper over his face and pretends to read while he waits for the train. Jeff looks over to him, "Why train number thirty five?" he asks nervously.
"That's for me to know and you to never find out," The Joker replies, continuing to "read" his paper.
Jeff coughs and looks back into the terminal behind them. Suddenly, train number 35 begins to thunder into the station, wheels squealing and horn blaring. The train slows to a hault and the door opens, people begin to pour out, carrying bags and suitcases.
"Where are the other trains?" A woman asks, confused.
"Where is everyone? This place is a ghost town," A man says.
"Excuse me, sir?" another woman begins to ask the Joker, "Where is everyone?"
The Joker doesn't respond.
"Sir? Hey was that gunfire?" She continues, nervously.
Sweat begins to bead heavily on Jeff's forehead, he mouths the words, "help me".
The Joker, continuing to read his paper, raises his revolver and fires a shot through Jeff's skull, blood sprays everwhere as the advisor drops to the ground.
Screams erupt as the Joker drops his paper and stands. He fires three more shots into the air, "Quiet!" he shouts angrily.
Grumpy and Happy burst through the doors, MacRay gangsters firing their guns after them. "Boss, we gotta get him! Now!" Happy shouts.
The Joker shoves his way through the crowd and onto the train, followed by Grumpy and Happy. Grumpy leans into his shoulder where his radio is, "We're ready, come to the back," he says into it.
The MacRay gang begin to run into the loading zone and Happy slams the door shut and locks it. "I'll take the South end of the train, you have the North," The Joker says, holstering his revolver in exhcange for his full auto Glock.
Grumpy and Happy nod. Happy slides his Beretta away and pulls out his Mac from the back of his belt. The two gangsters begin to walk towards the front of the train while the Joker takes the back.
Doug runs up to the train and pulls on the door handle, "Locked. Albert, Desmond. Get the other door towards the front, Jem and I will take the other door at the back," he says.
The gang members nod and begin to run towards their respective zones of the train. Albert runs up to the front door and pulls the handle.
Within the train car, Grumpy and Happy hear the door click through the screams of civilians escaping. As they clear out, Grumpy hides behind a seat and Happy ducks into the lavatory. The door slides open and Albert slips in, Mini Uzi pointed in front of him. Desmond comes in behind him with his HK416. "I'll go forward to the car in front of us, you go to the back of the next car. We'll meet back here," Desmond says, moving up past the lavatory and into the car in front of them. Albert nods and begins to walk to the car behind them. Grumpy stands and fires his Glock into Albert's back. The fat MacRay gangster drops to his knees, dropping his Uzi under a seat as well. He stands and grabs a concaled kitchen knife from within his belt. He slashes upward and knocks the Glock from Grumpy's hands.
On the next car over, Desmond hears the gunshot and runs to the door. On the other side, he sees Happy standing, Beretta pressed against the glass. He pulls on the handle only to find that it was locked from the outside.
"Shit," Desmond says, dropping his HK416 into a nearby seat and raising his hands into the air.
Grumpy stumbles backwards and draws his Bowie knife. Albert steps back and slashes once again, the cut barely missing Grumpy's neck. Grumpy lunges at the wounded Albert and knees him in the gut. Albert falls into a nearby seat and drops his knife.
Happy opens the second door on the car, revealing to Desmond the horrific scene: Grumpy standing over the fallen Albert, Bowie knife raised into the air. "NO!" Desmond shouts, banging on the glass.
Happy knocks the Beretta against the glass and Desmond steps back in anger.
Grumpy thrusts the Bowie knife into Albert's chest, blood spurts up and spatters over Grumpy's clown mask. Grumpy laughs as Albert screams in pain. He drags the Bowie knife slowly down into Albert's gut, the fat gangster screaming and yelling in horror as blood sprays and spurts over the seats. Albert coughs and blood begins to gush from his mouth. Grumpy lifts the Bowie out of Albert's chest and the bloody body slumps over.
Joker Gang:
MacRay Gang:
"Albert!" Desmond shouts in horror as Grumpy raises the bloody knife in victory. Happy claughs cruely and fires two shots with his pistol through the glass. Desmond falls over as the two bullets enter his body. Happy unlocks the door and slides it open.
Grumpy nods and wipes the blood off his knife on a nearby seat and sheathes it. He runs over and picks up his Glock and M16, then proceeds to follow Happy into the next car. They step over Desmond's body and walk through to the head car. The driver stands and holds up his hands as the Gangsters enter, Happy holds up his Mac, Grumpy his M16. "D-don't shoot!" the driver shouts.
Grumpy and Happy eaxchange glances and open fire, bullets spray the area. Sparks fly as bullets hit the controls of the train and blood shoots out as the driver falls over. The Joker Gang members turn and run back through the train. When they arrive at where they shot Desmond, they find no body.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Desmond scrambles through the train, shoving his way through civilians as he desperately searches for Jem and Doug. Suddenly, he runs into one of the MacRay gangsters, "Doug?" Desmond asks.
"No, it's Jem," Jem says, pulling looking around.
"They got Albert, I'm wounded, shot me twice at point blank range. Where's Doug?"
"We split up and-" Suddenly, gunfire erupts in the next car. "Go!" Jem shouts.
Jem and Desmond run to the car behind them and run in to find Doug crouching behind a seat while the Joker dual wields his Mac and Glock. Bullets plink against the door as Desmond and Jem enter. Doug pulls them down to the ground just in time before the Joker tears them to shreds.
Desmond fires his HK416 around the corner of the seat into the cabin. The Joker ducks down and dodges the burst, reloading his Glock. He stands once more and opens fire as he backs up and opens the door. "Bye bye!" he says, slipping through the door.
Doug stands and fires his OSW through the glass, but barely misses the Joker as he enters the last car and locks the doors.
"Doug, we're screwed! The other guys are coming from the front, and he's back there. We've got to go!" Desmond shouts to Doug as he runs to the door, attempting to unlock it with his switchblade.
"Desmond's right, we've got to move!" Jem says, opening the emergency exit door on the side of the car.
"NO!" Doug shouts, "We can't let him have it!"
"What are we even after?" Desmond asks.
"The key," Doug says.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
The Joker runs into the final car and fires two shots of his revolver into a man in a suit, aiming a Sig Sauer pistol. The man drops over and his pistol skidders away from him. He reaches for it, but the Joker steps on it and shoots him in the face.
The Joker holsters his revolver and kneels over the bloody body, he reaches over and picks up the briefcase that sat in the man's left hand. On the case, was the presidential seal, "Undercover agent my ass," the Joker says, standing and walking over to the emergency exit. Pulling the handle downward, he shoulders his way through the door and onto the loading platform.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Inside the train, Grumpy and Happy run into the second to last car and encounter the MacRay gangsters.
Jem turns and fires two shots with his Beretta at the gangsters. Happy ducks back behind the door and the shots plink off it. Grumpy fires his Glock into Jem's chest, knocking him over. He then turns and aims his pistol at Desmond and Doug. Doug dodges the first shot just barely and runs to the door. Desmond picks up his HK416 and sprays the rifle from his hip, one of the shots grazes Grumpy's thigh. Grumpy cringes beneath his mask and shoots back. Desmond runs up and grabs Jem by the wrist and drags him behind a seat. Doug stands and shoots Grumpy in the leg, knocking him against the back wall of the car.
Happy stands and sprays his Mac at the escaping Doug. Desmond gets up and punches Happy in the face. Happy falls down to the floor and drops his Mac. "Move! Get Jem!" Doug yells, opening the door and stepping out. Desmond nods and helps Jem up and the two walk out the door.
Jem stumbles onto the platform and into Doug. "We need to get him to a hospital," Doug says, covering Jem's wound.
"No! We've all been shot up, they'll suspect something there. Ask questions and call the cops. We can't let that guy go!" Dsmond replies, grabbing Doug's arm.
"We can't just let him die!" Doug says, helping Jem across the platform.
"He won't, the bastard's one tough son of a b--tch. He'll make it," Desmond replies.
Jem grips his bloody chest and atempts to stand on his own, "I'll make it. C'mon Doug, we really can't let him get away! Do this for Albert," Jem says.
Doug stares at his feet, "I didn't even ask about Albert. You're right, get to the van!"
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Grumpy and Happy limp their way out of the train and up to the Joker. The three make their way out of the platform and to a small closet. The Joker turns on a light in the closet, revealing a ladder. Happy climbs up first followed by The Joker and then Grumpy.
They arrive at a door and walk out. into a small alleyway where their bus lies in wait. The bus' doors open and The Joker steps on and take the first seat in the aisle. Grumpy and Happy take two random seats and drop their weapons beside them. Grumpy rolls up sleeve and wraps a layer of gauze on hi bloody shoulder.
"Move," the Joker says to the driver.
The driver nods and presses his foot to the gas pedal and the bus drives off.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Desmond and Doug help a wounded Jem into the van as they sneak by the police. An officer walks up to the van just as Doug is starting it up. "Hide the weapons," Doug whispers before he rolls down the window. Desmond nods, pulling off his mask and sliding his HK416 beneath the seat and his Ruger inbetween the cushions.
"Hello gentlemen, this area is under investigation, we're going to have to ask you to leave," the officer says.
"We have to get to the hospital, my wife she just texted me her water broke 20 minutes ago. I've really got to go," Doug lies.
"I'm sorry sir, it's state policy, we can't let you go," the officer replies.
"Officer, do you have any kids?" Doug asks.
"Yes, two of em, why?" The officer replies dumbly.
"My wife and I have had two miscarriages already. This baby is our last chance, you gotta let me go see him," Doug lies once again.
"Sir I really can't let you-" the Policeman begins when suddenly he ears something over the radio.
"Officer Dalton, we've spotted a bus moving away from the area. We have reason to believe it's the shooters," the voice through the radio crackles.
"Alright I'm on it," the officer says into the radio, returning his attention to Doug he continues, "You stay here, okay?"
"Yes officer," Doug says. The policeman nods and runs towards his car. Doug starts up the engine as soon as he's out of sight and he begins to drive away.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
The Joker's bus driver maneuvers in and out of traffic on the freeway. "Boss, we got a major jam up here," he says, swerving in front of a tow truck.
"Just plow through it," The Joker replies, opening the briefcase. He undoes the metal clasps and lifts up the hardened leather top. Peering in, he sees a manilla folder. He picks it up and tosses the case aside. Laying the folder on his lap, he skims through it. Maps, papers and charts all lye within the folder. The Joker picks up a color coded map with a grid on it. Looking at it, he memorizes it and crumples it up. At the bottom of the folder he finds what he was really after: A key card with the presidential logo on it.
He pockets the card and tosses the other papers aside. Suddenly, the bus jolts forward as it slams its way through traffic. Cars honk their horns angrily as the bus drives on into the night.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Mister Romney, we've just been alerted of a shooting in grand central station," a Secret Service member whispers into Mitt Romney's ear as he delivers his speech in New York City. Romney falters and looks into the crowd.
"I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, something has occured and I must be leaving now," he says, stepping away from the poidum. "Grand Central Station? Why there?" Romney asks quietly.
"We believe whoever was there, was after Agent Maloney. The undercover agent coming in from Washington on the train," the Secret Service man replies.
"Oh no," Romney says, hurrying his pace.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Doug drives along the highway as fast as possible, his foot pressed firmly against the gas pedal. In the back, Desmond adresses Jem's wound, "It's okay buddy, you'll be alright," he says, covering the gunshot in a bandage.
Jem coughs and sits up, "Damn, bastards really did a number on us," he says.
Doug looks around, "S--t, they've already been through here," he says, staring at the wrecked cars.
"Go faster Doug, we've gotta get them," Desmond says.
"Here they are," Doug begins, "Masks on boys, lock and load," he continues placing his mask over his face and grabbing his HK USP.
Jem pulls his robes on over him and puts on his mask, he grabs his HK416 and cocks it. Desmond grabs his mask and rifle and readies himself for combat.
On the bus, The Joker looks in the rearview mirror, "We've got company boys," he says, grabbing his AKMSU that he stores on a rack behind the seat.
>Grumpy looks at Happy and readies his M16. Happy slides over to the other side of the bus and readies his Mac.
"Here they come!" Grumpy shouts as the MacRay van pulls up.
Happy opens up the window and aims his Mac. Pulling the trigger, he sprays bullets down onto the van's roof. The bullets plink off and shower the area with sparks. Grumpy smashes he window and fires two shots with his M16 at the engine.
Doug slides down the window and fires off a whole magazine from his USP into the bus' windows. Glass showers Grumpy, Happy and the Joker. "Doug, open the door!" Jem shouts.
Doug nods and unlocks the back door with a click of the button. The electric door slides open and Desmond leans out and fires his HK416. The rounds tear into the seats and shatter the windows.
"Boss, we're almost there, ETA, 5 minutes!" the bus driver shouts.
The Joker nods and tosses a grenade out the window and onto the hood of the van. The grenade lands in the crack between the windshield and the hood and stays there. "Step on it!" The Joker shouts to the driver. The driver nods and kicks his foot into the gas. The bus begins to roar away down the freeway.
"S--t, grenade!" Jem yells.
Doug looks down on the hood and slams the brakes. The car stops and the grenade rolls off onto the highway and under an 18 wheeler truck. The grenade explodes, releasing a high amount of fire beneath the truck's trailer. The trailer splits in two as shrapnel and fire come up through it.
Doug swerves around it and hits his foot against the accelerator. The van speeds up behind the bus as it turns onto the off ramp and back into the streets of New York City.
The bus turns arpund a corner and smashes a sedan. "Stay on those f--kers!" Jem shouts to Doug.
"Come one!" Doug yells as he stamps on the gas. The van begins to slowly crawl up next to the bus and Jem fires another burst with his HK416 into the back door of the bus.
Grumpy looks over at the van and runs to the back seat. He sets his M16 down on the seat and grabs his Glock. He fires multiple shots into the windshield, missing Doug each time. "These bastards don't know when to quit," he says, locking the sights on Doug, he pulls the trigger. The gun releases the bullet, but the van swerves out of the way just in time.
Happy clambers to the back as well and fires off a whole magazine into the hood of the car. Flames erupt from the van's hood and it begins to swerve uncontollably. "There ya go suckers!" Happy shouts. He begins to walk back to the front of the bus, when he is struck in the shoulder by a shot from Jem. Happy falls to the floor of the aisle and scrambles up and into a seat. Grumpy ducks down as Jem fires another burst of rounds off.
"We're here!" the driver shouts, pulling up to a parking spot. He stands and grabs his revolver and M1 Garand from the dashboard. "Let's move."
The Joker stands with his AKMSU and runs out the open doors of the bus.
Doug desperately tries to control the burning van as he drives down the road. "Those flames are going to hit the fuel tank soon, we gotta get the hell out of here!" he shouts. Jem looks at Desmond, "We've gotta jump, the brakes are dead, there's no other way," Doug continues.
"Great," Desmond says sarcastically. They open the door to the van and Doug readies himself, he eases off the gas and looks back and Jem and Desmond. Jem leaps out onto the pavement and somersaults to the curb. Desmond takes off immediately after, landing safely as well. Doug swerves the car towards the curb and opens the door, he quickly jumps out just as the van drives straight into the front of a jewelery store and explodes in a ball of smoky fire. Doug stands and runs over to Desmond and Jem.
"Let's go!" he shouts, running after the Joker and his thugs.
The Joker runs into a large parking garage and sprays his AKMSU into the air. Civilians scream and abandon their cars. The gang moves up to the elevator just as the MacRay gang barge in. The driver fires his Garand at themas the elevator doors close and the Joker hits the button with a 15 on it. "Here we go," The Joker says as the elevator begins to go up.
Doug fires his OSW on full auto at the doors just as they close. Bullets plink off them as they do.
"Damn, what floor are they going to?" he asks angrily.
Jem points to the building next to the garage, "That's where they're going, that's where Romney's giving his speech, that's where we're going."
Doug nods, "The meeting's on the auditorium on floor twenty. This garage only goes up fifteen flights, that's where they're going."
"That's where we're going," Desmond says, running up to the elevator and pressing the button.
The Joker gang steps off the elevator and onto floor 15 of the garage. Grumpy runs to the side of the building that faces the next skyscraper over. He drops a duffel bag down and unzips it. Pulling out a harpoon gun of sorts, he aims it. "Get ready boys," he says, firing his Glock up towards a window. The glass shatters and he switches to the harppon gun and fires it. A spear fires out of the gun with a long cord on the end. The spear embeds itself into a wall within the building.
"Strap up," The Joker says, pulling out carabiner and a loop of para-cord. Grumpy flips out a large hook from the end of the gun and attaches it to a post. He gives the Joker a thumbs up and the Joker attaches the carabiner to the cord from the gun. He puts the para-cord loop underneath his arm and clips it to the carabiner. The other Joker Gang members do the same and begin to climb up the cord.
Winner: The Joker Gang
Expert's Opinion[]
TBW
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Woodbury Army (by El Alamein and Lasifer)[]
The makeshift walls of Woodbury stand imposing in the dark of the night, masking the flickering orange glow of the bonfire that crackles within. The lone guards quietly keeping watch are the only residents of the fortified town not present in front of the fire, cheering as two men in the sand pit before them scuffle. Decomposed corpses strain at their chains, groaning feebly and waving their rotting arms sluggishly. These walkers are restrained and have their lower jaws and fingernails removed - they pose no threat. But the spectacle is magnificent. Merle Dixon shuffles back, a bared, savage snarl twisted across his lips, as he locks eyes with Cesar Martinez. Merle rushes forward and slams his fist into Martinez's stomach, who stumbles back and falls to the approval of the crowd. Merle plants a boot victoriously on Martinez's chest and holds his handless arm over his throat, the bayonet attachment hovering delicately. Martinez looks up and flinches as Merle drives the bayonet into the sand next to his neck.
"Merle wins!"
Merle helps his friend to his feet and they run back and forth through the arena, waving their arms and striking poses to the adoration of the spectators. It is a crisp and clear night, and in the midst of the happy Woodbury citizens sits an even happier Philip Blake - the leader of the town. Woodbury is his creation, lovingly crafted and even more lovingly maintained through deception and brutality. But Blake feels no shame or sorrow - it is a necessary evil, the men he has killed and the walkers he has captured, necessary to maintain the peaceful facade that his town represents. It is order from chaos. It is peace from violence. It is a paradise in hell.
And that is why Philip Blake is the Governor.
***
The pale, thin man hunched over the table and looked up with his eyes, rather than his head, staring into the empty-eyed clown masks planted on each of his henchmen's faces. His face was smeared with messy white makeup, his mouth outlined with a streak of bloody red facepaint. He licked his lips with a slight twitch of his eye and placed his hands on the table, on the crudely-outlined map that detailed the surrounding area. "This is the east wall," he said. "Only a few lightly-armed guards patrol this wall, at least as far as our observations have uncovered. It would be easy to infiltrate through there." The clown-masked thugs nodded in agreement, and turned to load up their weapons and equipment. "But - " the man said. "This is the north wall. And it is strongly fortified," he said matter-of-factly. "They won't expect an attack from armed men to come from there." He pointed down at the map once more, before snatching it up in his gloved fist and tearing it in half. "And a surprise attack comes best in plain sight."
"Hey boss," one of the clowns asked, casually slinging his rifle across his shoulder. "Why don't we just sneak in and take out the big bad of the town that way?"
The man snapped his head over to the clown and stared through violently angry eyes. Just as suddenly, he burst out with maniacal, uncontrolled laughter - and as he laughed, he approached his henchman. The laughing stopped as he reached the man, and with one hand cupped his head and in the other brought up a switchblade to the man's neck. "Why don't we just sneak in?" the man said in a dangerously low voice. "Why don't we just sneak in? Why don't we just do everything the easy way, why don't we?" He threw the thug to the ground and slipped his knife back into his vest. "Are there any more questions?" the man asked.
Silence.
"Good. Let me make one thing explicitly clear here, boys. Just because it's my name doesn't mean I'm always a joker."
***
"What is it now, Milton?" The Governor sighed and slowed his powerful stride to an impatient shuffle as his friend jogged to catch up to him.
Milton's eyes shone with excitement, and he trembled giddily as he spoke. "Sir - I've made that breakthrough we've been waiting for. You - you've gotta see it to believe it!" He gestured rapidly with his hands. "C'mon, it's back at the lab!"
The experiment room was a messily-cluttered warehouse, lined with rows of tables covered in papers and several complicated operating devices. At the center of the room lay a frail old man, restrained by straps to a bed. He looked dead.
"Mr. Coleman had just passed away a few minutes ago," Milton spoke rapidly in his excitement. "I have the experiment all set up. I played the music I always played when I asked him the questions, and I had the lights to the same low intensity, and th - "
"Get on with it Milton," the Governor rumbled. "We don't have all day."
"Er - yes, sir. Well, he reanimated but responded to my questions!"
The Governor looked Milton directly in the eye and gripped him fimly on the shoulder. "Tell me now, man, what did you ask him? What did he say?"
"It's not what he said, sir, it's what he did. Come." Milton squirmed out of the Governor's grasp and bounced over to the bedside. He took a deep breath to calm himself and bent over the dead body. "Mr. Coleman?" Milton asked. The body groaned and turned its head to look at Milton.
"Raise your right hand if you recognize any of these statements. Your name is Michael Coleman."
The man gave a raspy breath and his index finger twitched on his right hand. Milton held up a picture of a woman. "This is your wife of forty-three years, Betty Coleman." The man trembled as his entire palm lifted off of the bedspread for the tiniest fraction of a second. "Now please, cough, if you understand the words I am saying to you." Coleman gave a short, hacking spray that sounded more like a wheeze than a true cough. Milton paused to look at the Governor. "This is only the beginning," he said. "I mean, this is the breakthrough I've been waiting for! What I need now is further time to establish - "
The Governor held up his hand and silenced Milton. His tone of voice was quietly restrained but urgent. "Get Penny."
***
Halfway there, the Governor thought. I can't run fast enough... halfway there. My Penny, my Penny, my Penny. Dusk had started to descend upon Woodbury once more, aggravating the walkers roaming outside the walls. The guards stood silent, well aware that the gunshot taken to kill one walker would attract many, many more.
The Governor was at the door to his apartment building when a massive explosion tore through the quiet night sky and shook the very ground. The road itself cracked from the force of the blast, and the Governor was thrown to the ground, Milton falling a few yards behind him. They were both showered in broken glass from the windows going out across the street. Screams pierced the air at the same time as automatic gunfire. "Oh damn, not now! Not now!" The Governor sat straight up to avoid further glass and unholstered his Beretta handgun. "Milton, get inside! Get inside now!"
Joker Gang:
Woodbury Army:
"Martinez, what the hell is going on?" the Governor shouted loudly over the din. His second-in-command was backing up from the now-destroyed north section of the wall, peering down the sights of his MP5k. Not looking away from his gun, he replied, "There are some crazy bastards tryin' to bust in through the wall, sir! They drove a school bus right up to the wall and blasted away at it with a rocket launcher!"
Behind them, a Humvee roared out with a Woodbury soldier manning a Browning mounted machine gun, who fired a heavy stream of fire into the wreckage. "Cease fire, cease fire!" shouted the Governor. "Martinez, take a man and go check it out." Martinez darted forward into the smoke.
"I want men stationed at every perimeter," the Governor ordered his men. "Make sure whoever these terrorists are, they don't get in or get out without my say. Stay strong, we'll come out on top. And if you're a civilian, stay inside!" The Governor watched as his military sprang into action, and he gave a wary glance over his shoulder before he headed back into his apartment to check on Penny.
On the other side of the smoke, the Joker lowered his empty rocket launcher and reached behind him to grab a new warhead from one of his henchmen. The school bus driver was backing the behemoth of a vehicle up, loaded with three other Joker thugs, ready to attack the now-undefended eastern wall sector. Joker's policy was chaos, and he was systematically employing it, one strike at a time.
"Y'see, it's all a matter of public view - public opinion," the Joker commented to his henchman as he reloaded the rocket launcher. "This... this... uh, Governor, he's a normal man just like you and I. Well, maybe not like myself... but he susceptible to fear and shock like the rest of you. And he has to answer to the fears of his people as well. All I have to do..." The Joker paused, aiming blindly into the smoke, and fired the rocket launcher. The explosive warhead streaked into the town and tore up the road. "All I have to do," he continued, "is make that facade of safety and order come crashing down. It worked in Gotham, y'know, and it'll work here too!" Before the thug could answer, though, he took a round to the torso and fell on his back, hard, grunting in pain.
"Let me help you out there, buddy." The Joker offered his hand, and as he pulled the injured thug up, plunged his switchblade into the man's chest. "That's better, isn't it?"
Martinez and a Woodbury soldier peered through the dissipating smoke and spotted the Joker thugs advancing, firing their submachine guns at fleeing civilians as they advanced. "Get that guy," Martinez pointed at one of the clowns, and the Woodbury soldier obediently rattled off several rounds from his MP5. This small-arms fire was quickly drowned out by the massive "thump-thud-thump-thud" of heavy machine gun rounds tearing through the air from the Browning machine gun, mounted on the back of the Humvee. One of the Joker thugs was torn to pieces, flipping sideways through the air as the heavy machine gun rounds ripped through his torso and out his back. "Rally behind the Humvee! Get these assholes outta Woodbury!" Martinez shouted. Two more Woodbury soldiers took cover behind the Humvee, firing their M14s at the faltering Joker thugs. The clown-masked mercenaries cowered in terror behind a shattered wall section, the machine gun pinging off the side of the road next to them. One of the thugs took a piece of broken road kicked up into his arm and fell back, exposed, into the road.
"There's a guy fallin' out in the open." Martinez shouted.
"Yeah, I got 'im!" the gunner replied, swinging the barrel over to dispatch of the injured clown. Suddenly, another rocket sped out from the smoke and slammed into the front of the Humvee. The vehicle went up in flames and crashed on its side, killing the gunner and two of the Woodbury soldiers taking cover next to it. Martinez ducked and flinched at the noise of steel grinding on steel and shouted in pain as the wave of heat rushed over him from the blast. The Joker rushed out, abandoning his rocket launcher and firing his M1 rifle. Seeing the Humvee destroyed, his men sprung up from cover and joined the firing. Martinez took cover behind the destroyed Humvee, switching magazines in his submachine gun, silently praying as the Joker's salvoes whizzed past the wrecked vehicle.
***
The Governor rushed down the street to his apartment, his pistol drawn and loaded. Only one guard stood at the eastern wall sector, and upon seeing the Governor, shouted out in terror. "What's going on? Are we under attack?" The Governor gave a half-glance up to the guard, luckily spotting the headlights of the bus as they came into view. The guard was not as lucky, and as the bus plowed through the barricade, the Woodbury citizen tumbled off of their perch and lay still on the hard pavement. Three men in clown masks poured out of the bus and spotted the Governor, who drew his pistol and fired smartly at one of the attackers. The round slammed into his upper chest, shattering the clavicle and sending bone fragment flying onto the men behind him. "I don't give a damn who you assholes are!" the Governor roared, spit flying from his mouth in rage. "Get the hell out of Woodbury! Get the hell out of my town!" He fired again, hitting one of the men in the leg. He slid down the steps of the bus and moaned, grabbing the wound. The last Joker thug ran back into the bus and took cover behind one of the seats, popping up near one of the windows, firing his Glock pistol randomly in fear. The Governor rushed forward, grabbed the injured Joker thug, and ripped off his mask. The man's pale face was devoid of color as he lost blood, but it was contorted with fear. "Please, man, listen, it's the boss, he's controlling and - " The Governor slammed his boot down on the man's face, smashing his nose and splattering his face red. The man shrieked in agony seconds before the Governor unsheathed his Bowie knife and mashed his midsection into a bloody pulp. Leaping into the bus, the Governor, shirt and face covered in the blood of his victims, eyed down the last Joker thug, who fled to the back of the bus and tried to kick down the emergency exit. Turning, he pointed the pistol at the Governor, but he had spent his magazine. "No, please, pl - " He was thrown to the floor of the bus and kicked violently in the ribs. Struggling to get up, he was stomped again before being hauled to his feet and having his face smashed into the bus window, cracking the glass and cutting his face. Shaking with pain and sobbing, the Joker thug received a headbutt and a knee to the groin before the Governor finally squeezed a rage-fueled fist around the man's neck, lifting him up against the roof while repeatedly stabbing him in the torso. As soon as the man's muffled chokes of pain and fear had subsided into a wretched gurgling, the Governor dropped his body and took one deep breath before he kicked out the emergency exit in one blow and leaped out. Already, walkers were starting to convene on Woodbury by the dozens, but the Governor stared through them all.
Running back into the town, he sped past shops and houses before reaching the street of his apartment.
***
The Joker and his last remaining thug had pressed forward, keeping Martinez pinned down behind the destroyed Humvee. They approached the wreck and the Joker held up a hand, bringing his henchman to a halt. "Grenade," he said, holding out a hand. Receiving the hand-held explosive, the Joker pulled the pin, licked his lips, and lobbed it on the other side of the vehicle. "Now I want you to listen to this noise, okay?" The explosion was small but precise. "That is the sound of a man as he dies..." The Joker's sadistic analysis died in his throat as he looked for Martinez's corpse in the crater. It was not to be found.
"He's over there boss!" the thug shouted, firing his MAC-10 wildly. The shots went far and high and missed as Martinez disappeared around the corner. The Joker dropped his M1 rifle and readied his shotgun. "Let's go get 'im." The Joker thug made a quick switch of magazines, the empty one clattering on the broken street as flames and smoke curled up into the hazy night sky. Several walkers had approached the town and wandered aimlessly through the streets.
***
"Merle! Merle!"
"What the hell is goin' on Martinez?"
Merle jogged over to Martinez as he slumped down by the walker pits, hoping that the scent of the rotting corpses would keep the stream of zombies invading Woodbury away from his current location.
"Where's the Governor?"
"No time man... some sick clown bastard's runnin' this place and doin' whatever the hell he feels like. He's got his cronies dressed up like him. I wanna take out their boss and crack down on them before Woodbury falls to pieces." Martinez made an exhausted gesture with his hand in the general direction of the Joker's henchman as he casually approached. A Woodbury soldier peered cautiously around a piece of debris, aiming with his M14, but the Joker thug was faster and blasted a chunk of the concrete away with his shotgun. A second shot tore half of the Woodbury soldier's chest open.
"Shit! This guy means business." Merle raised his bayonet arm and nodded to Martinez. "Look, distract Bozo the Clown over there and I'll get the drop on 'im."
Martinez stood up and popped off a few shots from his MP5. "Come on over here, clown boy! I've got a bullet with your name on it!" The Joker thug's catcalls echoed across the empty town as he jogged over toward Martinez. Whipping out his pocket knife, the clown tackled Martinez and slashed at his cheek. The wound was superficial but painful, and Martinez yelled as he bit down on the Joker thug's arm. Merle leaped out from the shadows and plunged his bayonet into the exposed side of the Joker thug, twisting the blade in between his ribs. The clown-masked invader screamed but kept the knife in his hand and stabbed Martinez in the stomach. Merle snarled as he grabbed the Joker henchman and threw him to the sand in the walker pit, stabbing him again in the midsection. Leaving the man for dead, Merle turned and rushed to Martinez's slumped and injured body.
***
The Governor rushed into his apartment and found the door already open. Panic surged through his body in a deadly wave of adrenaline as he leaped into the room. The furniture was kicked over and shattered glass covered the floor. His boots crunched over the tiny shards as he heard a singsong voice emanate from Penny's room.
"Penny!" he roared, unsheathing his Bowie knife in one hand and pointing with his Beretta in the other.
The Joker sat in the Governor's chair, Penny's zombie sitting on the floor next to him, the bag over her head and her arms restrained in chains. "PENNY!" the Governor roared. He pointed the pistol at the Joker. "Who the hell are you?" He kicked the Joker in the ribs, hard. The clown fell to the floor and laughed as he pulled himself to his feet.
"We're going to talk a while, Governor," the Joker said. "I've got a grenade there in your lovely zombie daughter's hands - luckily for... well, luckily for all of us, I suppose, I've got her grip tied tight around the grenade with some handy wire. Otherwise... well..." the Joker broke off in a chuckle. "Well... we wouldn't be sitting here, would we?"
"You're a dead man, clown. Let my daughter go now!" The Governor yelled.
"Relax, relax. Why don't we sit down and watch some of your television, mister Governor?" The Joker said before revealing the Governor's collection of floating walker heads. The Joker let out a chuckle, "Y'know, you can say I've done some bad things," The Joker paused and chuckled some more. "But I've never done something like this."
"You shut the hell up and let Penny go!" The Governor yelled, his grip on his pistol tightening.
"Penny? Penny, is that her name? Oooh, how sweet." The Joker asked, slowly stepping back. "People say I'm crazy, but what's really crazy is keeping this thing alive, don'tcha think?" The Joker paused, examining Phillip. "You can calm down now, Governor. Nothing bad's gonna happen."
"Please, just don't hurt her."
"No promises. BWAHAHA!"
The Joker pulled out his switchblade and stabbed the undead girl in the back of her head. He yanked out his knife and kicked her down.
"NO!" The Governor fired his gun, nothing coming out but a clicking noise. Phillip readied his knife and tackled the Joker before he could make a move, attempting to slit the clown's throat. The Joker was filled with glee and laughed knowing he broke the Governor. The clown raised his right arm and slashed at his attacker and dug into his shoulder with his in an attempt to get him off. The Governor let out a scream of pain as the Joker twisted his blade in Phillip's shoulder before pulling it out, blood squirting out of the wound. Phillip grabbed his shoulder in pain, and the Joker used this moment to push his attacker off of him.
"Well, where are you manners?" The Joker said as he got back on his feet, dusting off his suit. "I don't think you should have done that." The Joker muttered before kicking his foe on the floor. "No. You. Shoudn't. Have." With his kick, Phillip was coughing up blood and moaning in pain, nearly blacking out. Phillip heard and felt nothing until the sound of a door creaking open and the feeling of warm sun following greeted him. "I feel so bad for leaving, I don't want you without some company." The Joker mocked his weary adversary. "So, have fun with these guys!" The Joker slammed down the collection of walker heads, the sound of glass breaking echoed throughout the room, shards scattered throughout the apartment, and the decaying heads rolled around on the wet floor, still craving flesh.
***
"Hang in there, we're almost to Miltie's place." Merle said as he and Martinez made there way to the other part of town. "Well what the hell you stopping for, man!?" Martinez yelled, looking at Merle, stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the armed clown down the street. "Oh shit! OH SHIT!" Merle yelled leaped for cover with Martinez as bullets began to fly at them.
"SHIT! The fucker's got us! Hand me your fuckin' gun!" Merle yelled over the gun fire, going for Martinez's MP5. "Shit, shit, shit!"
The gunfire seized, nothing out of coming out of the AKM except smoke and clicks. "Guess we'll just have to improvise..." The Joker muttered to himself, dropping the rifle down and arming his Glock once more.
Merle peered over cover and traded shots with the Joker, firing the MP5 at his oncoming opponent. The Joker also firing wildly with his Glock. Merle went back to cover and reloaded the gun, handing it back to Martinez. "Keep him occupied with you gun, when he comes close I'll let 'Lil Merle show him how it's done." Martinez nodded and peered his head out ready to fire, and the last thing he saw was a silver Glock 17 being aimed at him by a purple-coated man. Blood spattered, and a dead Martinez fell back.
"AHHH! TAKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER!" Merle roared, leaping out of cover towards the Joker, who quickly retaliated with a punch to the face.
Merle fell back and wiped the blood from his face with his only hand, and looked back up to see the clown coming at him with a switchblade. The Joker grabbed Merle by his throat and slammed him up against a nearby building, waving his switchblade in Merle's face. Merle snarled, brought his bayonet-arm back, and thrusted it downward into the Joker's leg, twisting it savagely before pulling it out. Much to his surprise, the Joker made no reaction to the pain save for a brief chortle before repeatedly stabbing him in the chest. Merle hung viciously on to the clown's chest as the blade punched through his body. He's been through hell and back, no crazed clown gunman was going to kill this vet. Merle raised his bayonet up and slashed at the Joker's check before being let go and falling hard onto the concrete.
"Ohohoh. Feisty one here." The clown joked as he rubbed the blood off his face. "You put up a fight, I like that."
"Who are you?" Merle spat at asked his attacker. "Just who the fuck exactly are you, clown boy?"
"Who am I?" The Joker paused for a movement to think. "Who am I?...I'm a man of my word." The Joker said as he pointed his Glock at the fallen Woodbury soldier.
"Fuck you, clown!"
***
The Governor stumbled out of his ransacked apartment, broken glass crunching underneath his boots with each step, as he furiously made his way to the Walker Pits. Following the sound of gunfire, he arrived just in time to see Merle's execution at the hands of the Joker. His rage erupted into savage emotion as he pulled his Bowie knife out of its sheath and dove at the sadistic clown, arms wrapping around his knees and bringing them both crashing to the ground. The Governor plunged the Bowie knife deep into the Joker's stomach and buried it down until only the hilt protruded from his purple vest. It quivered and bounced as the Joker laughed hysterically, gasping for breath.
"And so it comes down to this, Governor!" he managed, writhing under his foe's grasp. "Just one worthy foe... against... another!"
"Shut up!" The Governor shouted, pushing harder on the knife. "I don't give a damn who you are! You don't come to my town to mess with my people, my family, my -" His sentence died abruptly as his eyes darted down to the Joker's gloved hand. A small, round baseball grenade shone in the moonlight as the Joker's thumb and forefinger slipped around the pin and tugged gently. The quiet click was not the sound of the pin, though, but the switchblade, moments before it shot up into the Governor's neck. Once again, the Governor's eyes darted back to the Joker, who had forced himself into a sitting position and had pocketed the grenade, cupping his mortally injured foe's face in his free hand.
"You're a smart man, Governor, yes, I'll give you that," the Joker whispered. "But you have one thing wrong about me, and it's that tiny thing that makes all the difference." The switchblade clicked as it retracted out of the Governor's neck and back into the handle. The Governor slumped back to the ground, gurgling as he choked for breath. "I'm not a terrorist... I'm not a bringer of the apocalypse. I'm a false prophet. I'm here to show your people the lies and deception that have clouded their judgment all this time." He gestured to Merle's dead body a few yards away. "And I'm a liberator, too. And in the end, that's all that matters."
Expert's Opinion[]
The Joker Gang was Hellstorm's last victorious set of warriors, and they gave the Woodbury Gang quite a run for their money. Although the Woodbury Army was better equipped and better trained, the Joker's chaotic and destructive approach to battle was able to dismantle the Governor's delicately constructed facade of order and safety, and that was all it took to revert the once-capable Woodbury militia from a zombie-fighting army to frightened civilians with guns.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Brazilian Militia (Call of Duty) (by MovieStuff65)[]
"Upside, inside out, she's livin' la vida loca!"
On a bright spring day in Rio de Janiero, two men casually sit on a rooftop, smoking, drinking, and enjoying life to the fullest. One sits in a lounge chair as he dances, only slightly buzzed. His companion, still sober somehow, points to the small radio they share. "Pare de jogar aquele lixo americano."
"Isso é muito bom! Eu acho que sim, de qualquer maneira."
The two men continue to argue as a third joins them, smoking a cigarette and an rifle strapped on his back. Inside the building, one more dealer lazily finishes counting and cutting the money they'd made off the last deal. Separating each into seven distinct piles, he shoves his own cut into his pocket and walks outside.
He looks down at his phone, hearing the distinct sound of an engine and tires screeching on gravel.
"Já estava na hora..."
A pickup truck pulls up beside the garage, blaring hip-hop out the speakers. The passenger door opens, revealing the cartel's leader. He stretches, before taking his sunglasses off and gesturing to the bed of the truck. "Pegue os outros. A remessa chegou."
Mumbling to himself, the cartel leader walks inside and pockets his own portion of the cash. He looks over at the stove, and noticed the pot of feijoada boiling. Eagerly grabbing a bowl, he starts to prepare his lunch.
HONK! HONK!
Grumbling, the militia leader walks outside as his driver gestures to a school bus quietly pulling into view.
"Que diabos..."
Within that school bus, a stockpile of ammunition crates and weapons lay haphazardly arranged in the back row of seats. A clown picks up one of the old battle rifles, slamming the en bloc clip in place as he peered out the window. Obscuring the sun with his hand, he saw the rival gang looking them up and down.
"These Mexicans really aren't too kind to strangers, are they?"
"They're Brazilian, dumbass. Get it right."
The gangster looked back at his companion, snickering as he switched the safety off. "Didn't you vote for Trump? Why do you care?"
"Just cause I wanna make America great again don't mean that I can't tell a jumper from a swimmer."
The two thugs laugh as the bus pulls to a stop. Up front, the rest of the gang starts to fumble around in anticipation. An RPG sits loaded and ready for use, as the gang's new leader stood up. "It's time to blow the competition away."
"Emilio, time to slam on the pedal."
Picking up speed, the Joker Gang hollered and yelled as they prepared to go to war. The gang leader pulls the slide back on his Glock, grinning maniacally underneath his mask.
"School's out early, boys."
Brazilian Militia: x 7
Joker Gang: 
x 7
"Não é um pouco cedo para a escola estar fora?" The cartel leader asked with curiosity, absentmindedly unholstering his pistol as a force of habit.
"Si..." His companion starts to say, before the sound of a rocket whizzing by abruptly ends the conversation. The silence of the favela is shattered as the bus slams into the wall of the Militia's hideout. Glass and stone debris fly as it busts a hole into the building. The driver of the pickup truck immediately turns on the ignition, signaling for them to get in.
A Joker gang member pops his head out the window, firing his MAC-10 into the air intimidatingly. The cartel leader immediately fires his Desert Eagle at the exposed clown. The bullet slams into his head, showering the side of bus and the windows with bits of skull and brain.
The thug's corpse falls limp as his comrade breaks down a window. He fires a shotgun shell at the pickup truck, before pumping it back again. The blast hit the passenger door and sent it off its hinges. He aimed again, and blasted a hole into the chest of the militiaman who'd been outside. He saw the rest of the cartel storm out of the hole created in the wall. One militiaman fired his Winchester, only narrowly missing them.
The militia fired away, peppering the bus with a storm of lead. A Joker gangster returned fire with his M1. His last round emptied out with a PING as it slammed into a Brazilian's shoulder. The driver of the bus finished him off, spraying the last of his MAC-10's magazine into him. Jerking as the .45 ACP rounds slammed into him, he fell down dead as they tore across his lungs and heart.
The Joker Gang starts to exit the bus, firing their weapons at any exposed militiaman. The Brazilians hop into the bed of the truck, laying down a volley of fire with their rifles and submachine guns. The bus driver starts to back the vehicle up, only for a stray bullet to pierce his side. He gripped his chest in pain, slouching forward over the wheel. When he rose again to look around, a militiaman finishes him off with a well-placed shot to the neck.
The Joker Gang soon takes position within the building, with two grabbing as much money and drugs as they can carry. The leader holds a duffel bag full of cocaine, only for stray gunfire to hit the bag and force him to drop it. He looks over and finds the culprit- the militiaman wielding his FN FAL rifle. He fires five shots from his pistol at him. He misses the first two, but the other three hit him in the stomach and thigh.
"Blow these guys to pieces!"
A Joker gangster hefts up his RPG and aims it at the truck. The warhead slams into the ground beside the truck, peppering the nearby criminals in shrapnel and dust. He reloads, only for a militiaman with his grenade launcher to fire back. The explosive hit the wall above the rocket-wielding thug, who scurried outside to avoid the floor falling in on them. He tosses the useless rocket launcher aside, grabbing his dead teammates' shotgun and limping back into the bus. One piece of debris falls onto a slower Joker, landing on his head and fracturing his skull within. Left fazed and hurt, the gangster made an easy target as a militiaman picked him off with his Winchester.
Leaning against the side of the truck, the wounded militiaman tossed his rifle aside and grabbed his pistol. He fired twice, the recoil throwing off his shots. The Joker gangster immediately emerged from his cover in the bus and fired a blast from his shotgun. The blast hit him squarely in the neck, almost decapitating the cartel thug as it killed him Before he could return to cover, a grenade launched into the side of the bus. The explosion killed him, sending the bus' side, glass, and shrapnel into him.
The last three Joker gangsters looked uneasily at each other, the militamen converging on them. The pickup truck revved intimidatingly, and the cartel leader smugly fired his pistol in the air. "Entrega!" He yelled, his words sounding foreign to the other criminals. They sprinted down an alleyway, duffel bags in tow. THe leader turned around and hipfired his Glock, somehow managing to hit the first militiaman in the jaw. His comrades turn around as well, firing their rifles at anything that moves. One starts to reload, only for a cartel thug to finish him off with his own.
They sprinted to the other side of the alley, turning the corner to see a marketplace. Removing their heist masks and tossing aside their long guns, carefully hiding their pistols underneath their coats. Walking through the streets, the gangsters hide their faces as the truck carrying militiamen arrives, scattering the civilians.
Running away, the militiamen notice the blood-covered thugs and open fire. The leader catches a rifle round to the back, while the other is peppered with pistol rounds. Both straggle away, only to be blown up by the M79 grenade launcher.
The cartel leader yells in victory, as do his men. He sits down, lights a cigarette, and drives his remaining gang back to their ruined hideout.
Expert's Opinion[]
The militamen may not have been as brutal as the Joker Gang, but what they lacked in unpredictability they more than made up for in arsenals, discipline, and tactics. The Joker Gang was all flair and intimidation, relying of fear to win fights. However, against a foe that hit just as hard and as much callousness, they didn't stand a chance.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Royal Flush Gang (by BeastMan14)[]
No battle will be written.
Expert's Opinion[]
TBD.