| “ | I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubble gum.
— John Nada.
|
” |
John Nada is a lone wanderer in the 1988 cult classic They Live; who gets a pair of glasses in which he finds out about a ruling class of aliens in disquise and manipulating people to spend money, breed, and accept the status quo with subliminal messages in the media. He finds these glasses behind a church that was destroyed in a box full of sunglasses like this which, also allow him to see the world in black and white which, gives him the ability stated above.
He then goes on a shooting spree in a nearby bank where he spews the famous line above above before he kills all of the skull-looking aliens in the bank. He then, goes back to the box where it seems like they were going to get destroyed by a garbage truck where he saves them, then he goes to his friend, Frank Armitage (played by Keith David), and talks to him about the glasses what is happening but, Frank refuses to believe him. John then, tries to force the glasses on him and a long fistfight ensues. The fight ends with John putting the glasses on Frank.
Battle vs. Ash Williams (by Weew1213))
John Nada is slumped down, asleep, on the edge of the elevator and it stops…
He wakes up from the stopping of the elevator and slowly and tiredly gets up. He then, grabs all of his guns and pack and heads out the two doors and covers his eyes from the bright light emerging from the two doors and walks out. Once the light wears off, it reveals that he’s in New York. He looks around and smiles; he then, looks behind him not to see elevator doors but, an empty stree- oh, a car just whizzed by. He turns back around and notices a bar.
“I guess, I’ll need a drink.”
As he enters the bar, another man, looks like he went through a hallway full of blades and walked through it and then, ran through it. He watches as he sits down. John Nada orders a drink and so does the other man.
“I’ll take a beer.” the man says, who calls himself Ash Williams.
“I’ll take a whiskey.” Nada collaborates.
They get their drinks and Nada taps Ash on the shoulder which, he gestures at the TV.
“Hey, he looks like me and, he fights like me. What’s his name?” He asks the bartender.
“He calls himself ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper.” the Bartender replies as he’s cleaning some mugs.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it, pal.”
“Well, to us then.” Ash says as raises his beer and Nada does the same.
They take a drink and notice that both that the Aliens and some Deadites enter through each door on both ends of the bar.
“Hey pal, the medieval convention that way.” The alien cop says pointing behind him.
One Deadite sniffs him; “You’re not human… you’re something else. You’re not from here.” He pulls out his sword.
“Sir, put the weapon down or we'll shoot you.”
Meanwhile…
“Don’t look at the bonies, they’re looking for me.” Ash whispers.
“The cops are looking for me, they’re not really cops, they’re aliens.”
“Like from Outer Space?”
“Yeah, we’ll take ‘em out on three.”
“I.”
“2.”
“3!” they both say as they jump up out of their seats.
Ash grabs his axe and smashes it into one of the Deadites skulls.
Nada takes out his S&W Model 28 and unloads on the officers. One of the officers that were still alive, calls for backup with his last dying breath.
Ash pulls out the axe and launches it another Deadite sticking it against the wall. Ash barely dodges the sword slash by one of the Deadites and counters with punch to face with the mechanical hand. He hit ‘im so hard that he was knocked off his feet, he then smashes the Deadites head in, parts of the brain and skull fly everywhere, leaving his gauntlet covered in blood.
“There’s going to be more coming, grab everything you have and I’m going to do the same.” Nada commands.
“Groovy.” Ash quips.
They both and get their weapons and bring them back to where they were talking to one another, which was behind a table. Ash then, picks up his broadsword and gets ready for the next wave of whoever opposes them. The new wave of Deadites enter the same way they came, from the back door.
Ash looks at them and charges them with his sword, he clashes swords with one of the Deadites. Another Deadite tries to slash at him with his sword but it’s countered with Ash’s chainsaw holding back the blade, which he then turns on his chainsaw and throws it out of the way and starts to cut up the Deadite. There is blood spraying all over him and everywhere around him. He just tries to hold his own as best he can. He then, cuts off the head of a Deadite with his sword. Two Deadites attack at the same time and he tries to block both blades from the two Deadites. With one hard sword strike from a Deadite and Ash’s sword was knocked out of his hand. He then tries to block it again with his chainsaw but again, with another hard sword strike, the chainsaw is knocked out of blocking position and while trying to dodge it, he falls down. A Deadite walks up to and raise his sword but, before he can strike, he is shot by Nada. Ash looks over to see him wielding an M16. He then, sprays his weapon, killing multiple Deadites, Ash then, picks up his spear and drives it into multiple Deadites.
A bullet whizzes by Nada's ear and turns around to fire back at the people who were firing at him.
"Looks like the cops are back!" Nada yells to Ash.
Ash picks up his Winchester.
"Why don't they come get some, then?" Ash grins.
They both unload on the officers taking as many shots as they can at them, Ash with his winchester and Nada with his M16. Nada uses his last few bullets before running out of ammo for the M16. He hides behind cover again.
"You didn't bring more ammo for it?!" Ash cries out amist all of the gun fire.
"Oh, and you brought an extra sword? No, didn't think so. But, I also brought this!" He takes out his HK94 Conversion and opens fire on them. He just sprays and prays, dropping multiple officers. Ash aiming with his winchester, hit any officer that he can see on his side, in the head. They both keep firing until all of the officers are down.
“How many more do you think are coming?” Ash asks.
“A whole sh*tload.” Nada chuckles.
“More for me. How much do you got left?”
“Half of the mag is gone. I have a crapload of pistols.” Nada shows his pistols in his pack.
“Groovy.”
More Deadites enter from the back and try to charge them but, fail to do so due to Nada using his HK94 until it runs out of ammo and Ash aiming his Winchester accurately and runs out of ammo as well. When Nada did run out of ammo for his HK, he threw his gun at one of the Deadites, then, he quickly and I mean, quickly, changed his gun to a Desert Eagle and besets a bullet barrage, killing as many he can before again running out of ammo, which, was just enough to get kill the wave of Deadites.
Again, two cops barge in through the front doors and Nada kills one and purposely, shoots the pistol out of his hand, causing him to fall to ground, holding his hand. Ash runs over to him and raises his chainsaw but, for some reason he doesn’t cut him up, he just holds back. He keeps trying to strike but, something was holding him back. Just as he tries to strike him, the cop is shot in the head by Nada with his Colt Python.
Right after that, two Deadites barge in and Nada immediately blasts one and fails to kill the other by knocking him off his feet, just before he finishes him off, he hears the medieval warrior chanting something. He also noticed little hand motions and he just pulled the trigger and fired at his head. He then, tries to pull the trigger again it makes a clicking sound. It’s empty, he drops the gun and turns around.
“Stop those things from coming!”
“How?”
“You got any dynamite?”
“Yeah.”
“They must be coming from somewhere; he pauses “check the back door.”
They both go and check the back door and in the middle of the street, they see a portal. Ash goes back inside and grabs the dynamite. He lights it and tosses it in there. They wait until the portal closes. They then, go back inside.
“Why didn’t you kill that cop?!” Nada demands.
“Why didn’t you kill Mr. Medieval over ther… oh, I know, they possessed you, they want you to kill me!”
“No, that’s wrong, why didn’t you kill the cop?”
“Something held me back.”
“ ‘Something held me back.’ No, nothing held you back, you’re working with the aliens aren’t you?” Nada holds up his Ithaca 37.
Ash holds up his “Boomstick” “This is my boomstick!”
“That’s what you’re here to do, huh? Show me your ‘Boomstick’? I came here to kick a*s and chew bubblegum and I’m all out of bubblegum.” Nada replies.
They both run to the side and fire their guns at each other missing and while they’re running, Nada shoots in front of Ash and it lands a hit. He falls down to the ground, holding his wound. Nada then, walks up to him and holds the gun barrel up to his head. He pumps the shotgun and pulls the trigger. He then, grabs his pack and walks out of the bar with the shotgun in his hand. He calls for a taxi and once, the taxi comes, he gets in and it drives away.
Expert's Opinion
Ash was an excellent fighter but, wasn't fast enough to think things through which, cost him this fight.
"Bubblegum_and_Boomsticks" To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.