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I am the king! Everyone is mine to torment!
— Joffrey Baratheon

Joffrey Baratheon is king of the Seven Kingdoms, and the bastard son of Cerci and Jaime Lannister. After the death of his apparent father, King Robert, Joffrey was crowned King of the Seven Kingdoms.

He quickly proved himself to be a violent and tyrannical ruler. Joffrey was known to revel in both committing and watching violence, both ordering numerous people executed or tortured, most notably Eddard Stark, who he had killed after he discovered that Joffrey was born of incest between Jaime and Cersei Lannister, and was not a true heir to the throne. This ignites a civil war in Westeros which becomes known as the War of the Five Kings, with three separate claimants to the Iron Throne, plus two kings who claimed independence, Robb Stark of the North and Balon Greyjoy of the Iron Islands.

Since that point, Joffrey's reign was marked by a series of atrocities, including his repeated abuse of both Sansa Stark, who was betrothed to him, and later his second choice of wife, Margaery Tyrell, frequently beating both women. Joffrey's bloodthirsty nature is further cemented when he orders the tongue of a minstrel who insulted him cut out in front of him. Joffery cared little for the hardships of his people, allowing the peasantry of his kingdom to starve.

Joffrey finally meets his downfall on the day of his marriage to Margaery Tyrell, when he drinks poisoned wine and died. Though Tyrion was originally accused of poisoning the wine, a dying Olenna Tyrell revealed that she was responsible to Jaime, hoping to protect Margaery from Joffrey sadistic nature.

Battle vs. Zorzal El Caesar (by SPARTAN 119)[]

Joffrey Baratheon: Yellow Yellow Yellow Yellow Yellow Yellow Yellow Yellow

Zorzal Caesar: Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred

NOTE: This battle takes place in an alternate universe, given Jaime Lannister still having his right hand, but Joffrey having Widow's Wail at the same time.

A mysterious portal appeared within the walls of the Red Keep in Kings Landing, Westeros. From the portal, a large Imperial Army had appeared, led by Zorzal Caesar, prince of the Empire, and seven of his Imperial Guards appeared. The gates to the Red Keep were quickly breached, and the walls and defense stormed in a surprise attack.

Zorzal led his Imperial Guard into Great Hall of the Red Keep. At the other end of the room, a blonde-haired boy sat on a throne that looked to be made of countless words forged together, surrounded by seven armored men.

"Listen, you barbarians!", Zorzal yelled, "I, Zorzal El Caesar, son of Emperor Molt Sol Augustus, claim this land for the Empire! We have an army of thousands surrounding this castle. Surrender your crown and kneel before the Empire... or die!"

"What is this outrage!", Joffrey Baratheon yelled from his seat on the Iron Throne, "I AM THE KING!" Joffrey got up from the throne and raised a crossbow. His aim was slightly off, missing it intended target- Zorzal, and instead killed one of the Imperial Guards to his right.


The Imperial crossbowmen retaliated, one firing a bolt that stuck Ser Preston Greenfield of the Kingsguard through the gap in his helmet, killing him instantly. Yellow The second crossbowman sent an arbalest bolt that narrowly missed Joffrey, who ran behind the Iron Throne and took cover.

"KILL THEM!", Joffrey yelled from behind the Iron Throne to the surviving Kingsguard, "KILL THEM ALL!!"

The six remaining Kingsguard raised their weapons and charged at the surviving Imperial Guards, who prepared to attack in response. Ser Boros Blount of the Kingsguard raised his longsword, only to be blocked by Zorzal's own blade. The Imperial prince then brought the pommel of his sword forward, striking Ser Boros through the eye hole of his helmet, before Zorzal drew his pugio with his off hand and slit Ser Boros' throat. Yellow

Meanwhile, another Kingsguard attacked one of the Imperial Guards with a spear, thrusting it into the gap in man's armor over his neck. The spearhead pierced right the way through, severing the spinal column and killing the Imperial Guard. Darkred

The spear-wielding Kingsguard then made a thrust an Imperial armed with scutum and gladius. The Imperial guard simply swatted away the spearhead with his shield and charged forward, getting within the length the Kingsguard's spear, knocking him backwards with the shield. The the spear fell from the Kingsguard's hand as he was pinned against a pillar, knocking off the his helmet. The Imperial siezed his advantage and thrust his sword through the Kingsguard's skull. Yellow

At the same time, an Imperial guard armed with a spear thrust his weapon forward, punching the long blade through the weaker scale armor covering a Kingsguard's groin. The man screamed in pain and fell to his knees, and was dispatched by a thrust to the neck. Yellow

A second later, the Imperial Guard saw Zorzal use the grip of his longsword to force Ser Balon Swann of the Kingsguard to the floor. The Imperial with the spear thrust it downward, punching through Ser Swann's rear armor, an impaling the downed Kingsguard Yellow.

Suddenly, the Imperial guard with the spear was killed by a sword thrust underneath his rear armor. Ser Meryn Trant pulled his bloody sword out of the dead guard. Darkred

Ser Meryn then ran at Zorzal, sword raised. The Imperial prince easily parried Ser Meryn's attack. The two of them traded strikes for only a few seconds before Zorzal got the upper hand, getting in a strike to Ser Meryn's unarmored leg. The prince then followed up with a slash to Ser Meryn's throat. Yellow

Ser Jaime Lannister, the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, stood his ground against the four surviving Imperial Guards. Two of the Imperials charged him at the same time, only for Jaime to lunge out of the way of one his attackers and swung his Valyrian blade, Oathkeeper, severing the head of one the Imperials. Darkred Jaime then thrust his dagger into the eyehole of the second Imperial's helmet, killing him instantly. Darkred

"Come on then", Jaime said to Zorzal, "Allow me to add "Prince-slayer" to my accolades!"

Instead, one of the Imperials, armed with a sword and shield, charged forward. Jaime swung Oathkeeper, cutting half way though the shield with the supernaturally sharp and durable Valyrian steel sword. The blade did not, however, cut the wielders hand.

As Jaime struck, he felt a sharp pain just below his arm, and turned to see the face of Zorzal, who had just thrust his sword through a gap in his armor at his side. Jaime Lannister fell to the ground as Zorzal pulled his sword out of his body. Yellow

Zorzal then walked up the steps to the Iron Throne, ordering his guards to stay back, "I'll deal with this coward of a king personally!"

Joffrey Baratheon stood behind the Iron Throne, having finally draw his sword, Widow's Wail.

"You cannot do this.... get back or die", Joffrey said, though his there was a distinct note of panic in his voice as he threatened Zorzal.

As Zorzal advanced on him, Joffrey thrust his sword forward. It was pathetically easy to dodge- Joffrey placed all his mind on attacking, making another easily evaded slash- he paid no attention to defense.

Zorzal, however, did not strike with his sword, but rather thrust the palm of his off hand forward, into Joffrey's face. The tyrant of Westeros was knock off balance and fell backwards, into the Iron Throne. Before he realized what hit him, one of the many swords that made up the Iron Throne had pierced the back of Joffrey's head, killing him instantly.

Zorzal picked up Widow's Wail, recognizing it as the high-quality blade that it was and held it with one hand, claiming it for himself. He then noticed a figure cowering behind a column near the back of the room.

Any hope that the man who slew her tormentor might be a liberator was quickly expelled from the mind of Sansa Stark, as the blonde-haired man walked up to her and said, "Pretty little thing, aren't you", Zorzal said with a sadistic grin, "I am going to be having a lot of fun with you..."

When Sansa simply stood there, trembing in fear, Zorzal held his sword to her back and commanded, "Move!"

As Zorzal dragged Sansa past the bodies of Joffrey and the Kingsguard, a large group of Imperial troops entered the Great Hall of the Red Keep.

"Marcianus", Zorzal addressed to the Imperial commander, "I'm leaving you in command. I must take my share of the 'spoils of war'", motioning to Sansa as he mentioned the spoils.

Marcianus saluted as Zorzal dragged the sobbing girl out of the castle, towards the portal that would lead him back to the Empire.

Expert's Opinion[]

Joffrey was a brutal killer who relished in causing others suffering, but was a poor fighter, and proved to be a coward when faced with violence. While Zorzal seemed outwardly similar in the face of the Third Recon Team, one must remember that he a medieval-level despot facing modern assault rifles. Joffrey, on the other hand, was disarmed by a 12-year old girl (admittedly a very badass 12-year old with a pet direwolf, but still). In context, Zorzal was actually a competent commander and swordsman. Even out of context, Joffrey was a poor fighter, only proving in any way competent with a crossbow.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.