Deadliest Fiction Wiki

I wonder why the hairs on my back stand up when I think of Avdol and Iggy? It's probably because they were my first friends, and we share a common goal. To defeat Dio together!
— Noriaki Kakyoin

The Joestar Party is the name given to the group of main characters of Stardust Crusaders, the thrid part of the manga JoJo's Bizare Adventure and its various adaptations. The party's main goal was to kill DIO to prevent him from conquering the world and save Holly Kujo from a fatal illness that threatened to kill her.

Getting word from Holly that his grandson Jotaro Kujo has gotten himself in prison and refuses to leave because of what he refers as "an evil spirit" that's attacking everyone that means to harm him, Joseph Joestar travels from the Japan alongside Muhammad Avdol. Once the two convinced Jotaro to get out of his cell, Joseph explained to Jotaro that the apparition following him isn't an evil spirit, but a Stand. Afte revealing his own Stand, Joseph explained that they both recieved their abilities because of the blood ties to DIO, who now possed the boy of their ancestor, Jonathan Joestar.

Soon after Jotaro was attacked by one of DIO's followers called Noriaki Kakyoin. After defeating him Jotaro brought him to the others in the hopes to interrogate him only to discover that Kakyoin has been brainwashed by DIO with the help of a "flesh bud". After the removal of this flesh bud, Kakyoin revealed DIO was hiding out in Egypt. The group agreed that DIO was too dangerous to left unchecked and planned to defeat him before he could do any more damage. Before they could leave, however, Holly grew ill, unable to handle her own Stand due to her gentle nature.

Now even more determined to defeat DIO, the Joestar Party left for Egypt, battling many of DIO's agents along the way. During their travels they were joined by Jean Pierre Polnareff, a French Stand user who was like Kakyoin was brainwashed by DIO and freed by the pary, and Iggy, a stubborn dog who was also a Stand user.

During the final battle Avdol and Iggy died by the hands of Vanilla Ice, while Kakyoin died during the final battle against DIO, but not before giving Joseph a vital clue to DIO's Stand ability. After DIO's defeat, the surviving members parted paths, with Polnareff returning to his native France while Jotaro and Joseph returned to Japan where the now healthy Holly was waiting for them.

Battle vs. Dead Men (by Wassboss and Appelmonkey)[]


3 weeks earlier


Edmond Vagabond can hardly believe his eyes as he gazes across the vast expanses of Cairo’s streets. The people and hustle and bustle around him, many of them glaring at the man gawking at the surroundings. Edmond is unaware of this however as his mind races in excitement at what he has found. Shunting is mostly frustrating magic skill and it’s nearly impossible to find a dimension with a liveable environment let alone an alternate dimension such as this and the ramifications of this discovery enthral him. He looks on in awe as mechanical vehicles race past him on the road and strange glowing lights sit perched upon metal poles.

“This place is so much more advanced than the world I know” he mumbles to himself. His mind is so caught up in his discovery that he doesn’t even notice as he wanders down a side street and away from the crowds. Despite the sweltering heat he feels a shiver down his spine but this is not a shiver of cold, but of fear. He snaps out of his trance and looks around nervously and spots a man strolling towards him from the shadows. Edmond slows to a stop as his legs seize up in fear and no matter how hard he tries he cannot do anything but watch as the man walks up to him.

“You’re not from around here are you” the man says, his voice soothing and menacing at the same time. “I can tell that by the awe in your face at even the smallest of things”. He places his hand tentatively on his cheek and strokes it with his forefinger.

“Y-yo-you’re a vampire” Edmond stammers and the man moves his forefinger over his mouth and shushes him.

“Not just a vampire my dear boy. I am DIO.”

“Please don’t hurt me” Edmond whispers and tears trickle down his face as Dio observes him further.

“There’s no need to worry. I know that you’re scared but I can make that all go away. All I need is information.” Dio smiles and his hair stands up on end with a purple glow and Edmond can only look on in horror as one stabs into his forehead and releases a spore which burrows its way into the shunter’s brain. Dio releases him and he drops to his knees, his head bowed in respect.

“How may I serve you Lord DIO?”

Joestar Group Intro[]

“You’re getting repetitive Polnareff.” said Avdol in an annoyed tone. Polnareff had bin questioning their informants ability to locate DIO’s mansion for a while, slightly annoying the fortune teller. “Honestly. Can’t you just calm down for just a bit?”

“I know it’s hard not to feel anxious,” said Joseph to the Frenchman. “but all we can do now is rely on the knowledge of the people that live here." Polnareff sighed in response and stared at the ground. "Jeez. I haven’t seen Iggy for a while either. Where the hell that stupid mutt run off?” Before any of the others could give a response, a hooded man approached them. The mysterious man came to a stop just a meter from the Stand users. “Um, can we help you?” Asked Joseph. The man stayed silent and slowly raised his arm. “For DIO." He whispered as a white glow appeared around the group. “Star Platinum!" yelled Jotaro, bringing out his Stand. With a loud “ORA!” Star Platinum punched at the hooded man, but it was too late, with a bright white flash, the crusaders disappeared from their world.

The man pulled off his hood, revealing the face of Edmond Vagabond who smiled in satisfaction. “Lord DIO will be pleased.” He said to himself and walked away from the scene.

Meanwhile, the Stand Users suddenly found themselves in a busy market place. There were market stands with merchants selling various goods, and people making their way through the market, some of them glancing at the weirdly dressed foreigners. Jotaro sighed and made his Stand disappear. “Yare yare." The teenager complained in his native language as he stuffed his hands in his pocket. “What the hell!?" yelled Polnareff in confusion “Where are we?"

“We’re still in Cairo by the looks of it.” answered Joseph, “Yet something is off…” he paused for a moment and looked around. There were no lampposts, or cars, the people around them didn’t seem to have any modern technology on them either. “It seems like we have gone back in time.” "Gone back in time?" asked Polnareff with doubt in his voice. “Sounds a little crazy don’t you think?”

“Yes, but look." Joseph pointed at a spot where a group of people were talking to each other in Arabic. "We were just sitting there moments ago,” his finger shifted to the side of the road. “And cars used to be parked over there.”

“Back in time or not." Avdol interrupted. "I think it’s best if we search for a way out, perhaps we will find the one who brought us here.” The others nodded in agreement and began to make their way, through the busy city of Cairo.

Dead Men Intro []

“Are we there yet?”

“Yes” growls Skulduggery in annoyance.

“Whoa, whoa tiger calm down. What was all that about.” Saracen replies.

“You’ve been asking that same damn question since we got here.” Dexter interjects.

“You guys know I hate walking. Why couldn’t we have just ridden horses?”

“Horses don’t do well in the deser.t”

“A camel then.”

“Have you ever tried to ride a camel? They’re horrible creatures. The spit and bite and don’t listen to you.” Saracan shrugs his shoulders but doesn’t contribute anymore to the conversation. After being dropped off by boat in the north they have been travelling through desert, with the occasional tribal village scattered around to rest or trade for supplies, for the past week or so and have now finally arrived on the outskirts of Cairo. They walk in silence for a few minutes before...

“Why are we even here anyway?”

Shudder frowns. “Did you not listen to the briefing?”

“Nah, never do, it’s usually the same thing; Go in, kill some guys, get out.” Saracen replies.

“We’re here to find some of Mevolent’s top lieutenants.” Ghastly says from under his disguise. He and Skulduggery had fixed their scarves to cover their faces to not cause alarm to any mortals.

“Couldn’t they send someone else to do it,” Saracan grumbles “Send Quintin Strom’s lot, they were nearer.”

“Strom and his men are being pinned down by the Diablerie,” Ravel responds “and besides this is one of those unsavoury missions that command just loves to give us.” Saracen groans at this.

“Urgh. Does this mean we’re going to be risking our lives against impossible odds?” he asks “Do we at least know what we’re looking for?”

“Skull has a picture of the men that we’re looking for,” Ghastly says jabbing his thumb in the skeleton’s direction. Skulduggery reaches into his inside coat pocket and takes out a folded over picture.  The rest of the Dead Men gather around as he unfolds a black and white picture of a group of men stood in a desert, seemingly posing for the camera.

“I’ve never seen these guys before,” Ravel says inspecting the picture “Mevolent has kept them well hidden away. Do we know any of their names?”

“The old man’s name is Joseph Joestar,” Skulduggery says jabbing his finger at the man in the front with a dog cradled in his arm “the tall boy in the hat is his grandson Jotaro. As for the rest I don’t know their names.”

“Never heard of them,” Ravel says and the rest of the Dead Men mumble in agreement. Saracan pushes Ravel aside to get a better look and points at the man called Joseph.

“I’ll take the old guy,” he says and the others look at him. “What!”

“We’re not shopping here, this is war, and we’re not picking opponents,” Shudder says. “And why do you want to fight him.”

“Are you kidding? He’s old. He’s got to be at least 600 years old. He’ll be an easy take down.”

“Age doesn’t make you weak only wiser”

“I disagree. I wisdom has a cut off date of about 120 years once you get to that you’re about as wise as you’re going to get.”

Shudder sighs. “Where did we get this information from anyway?” Dexter asks.

“A sorcerer named Edmond Vagabond gave word to one of our spies here that these men are important to Mevolent’s plans.”

“Vagabond. I’ve heard of him, he’s a dimensional shunter.” Skulduggery folds the picture back up and the others slowly disperse from around him.

“It’s getting late now, we should probably find somewhere to sleep and start the search tomorrow” he announces.

“I could do with a good night’s sleep,” Saracen says stretching “Preferably somewhere I won’t get sand in my pants or be attacked by some crazy tribesmen.”

“It’s your own fault, if you hadn’t have hit on his daughter then you wouldn’t have ended up upside down on a spit roast” Dexter says and the other Dead Men laugh.

“Hey, she was really pretty,” he protests but the others just continue to laugh as the head further into the city, with Saracen cursing under his breath.

“I hate you guys.” 


As the sun begins to go down and the people begin to filter off the streets, the Joestar Group finds themselves walking almost alone. “Where the hell are we going?” Polnareff asks impatiently.

“I don’t know ask Avdol” Joseph replies.

“What do you mean ask me? I was following your lead.” Joseph looks at him blankly.

“You were the one who suggested we search for a way out. I thought you knew where we were going.”

Avdol’s face is a mixture of confusion, annoyance and surprise as he looks back at him. “You mean for the last two hours we’ve just been walking around aimlessly.” Joseph shrugs sheepishly and Avdol’s face tenses so much that a vein is almost bursting out of his forehead. “Yare Yare Daze” Jotaro says dipping his cap over his face.

“Calm down Avdol,” Polnareff says to try and diffuse the situation “We’ll just ask some around here if they know the way to decent hotel and sleep on it.” He looks around and spots a group of men wandering through the street. Polnareff walks up to them, hands in his pocket and heads for a man walking a little bit behind the rest of the group. “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know a nice place to stay. Preferably one without a shitty toilet.” The man shrugs him off but Polnareff doesn’t take the hint and grabs his arm. The man shoots a glare at him but as soon as he sees his face he stiffens noticeably and steps away, pulling his arm loose. He barks something to the other men and throws a punch which hits Polnareff right in the jaw. He staggers back with his hand to his jaw. “What the hell are you doing” he shouts and just as the words exit his mouth he is knocked back by something.

He twists in the air and lands gracefully in splits pose. He looks up at the group of men who have rushed to the side of the lone man, two of them holding their arms up. Polnareff tries to take a step forward but finds a something solid blocking his way. “What the hell” he thinks to himself as Joseph, Jotaro and Avdol rush to his side.

“What have I told you about harassing the locals” Avdol says and Polnareff straightens up and jabs a finger accusingly at the group.

“He just hit me for no reason. All I asked was if he knew a good hotel.” The two groups look at each other for what seems like an age.

“I’m sure there must be some kind of mistake,” Avdol says and goes to walk over to the men but just like Polnareff he finds himself blocked by an unknown force. “This is strange” he mummers.

“Let me see” Joseph says and tries the same thing but he too is blocked off. As the three older men investigate the strange occurrence Jotaro stands with his hands in his pockets, looking at the group of men. Four of them look like normal men but the other two are wearing scarves which cover every inch of their faces, so that not even a tiny bit of skin shows. As he looks closer he realises that both of the clothed men are holding their hands out in front on them, palms facing in their direction.

“Something isn’t right about those men” he says. The other three look back at him. “What do you mean Jotaro?”

“Look at those two men with the scarves coving their faces. They are holding their palms out in front of themselves and none of us can move past this spot.”

“Do you think they’re Stand users?” Joseph whispers. “There’s only one way to find out,” Jotaro replies and steps forward to join the others his hands still in his pocket. “Star Platinum!” he yells and his Stand leaps out and swings his fist at the wall of air, feeling it dissipate under the pressure. The group of men looks visibly shocked as they gaze upon Star Platinum before it disappears.


“Did you see that?!” Dexter says and the other Dead Men nod in agreement.

“I’ve never seen anything like it”, Ravel replies astonished. “Is it a Gist?”

“I don’t think so,” Anton says “A gist takes on the form of the user and that thing looked nothing like the boy.”

“Hey,” shouts Joseph and they all look at him as he walks towards them with the other men following closely behind.

“Don’t take another step” Skulduggery snaps sharply and his gun flies into his hand, levelled right at Joseph’s head. He freezes and the rest of the Joestar group follow suit.

“Have you been sent to stop us?” Joseph asks.

“That depends really,” Skulduggery retorts “We’ve come here to stop some very dangerous individuals. You wouldn’t happen to know of these individuals would you?”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about”

“Oh really, well let me introduce my merry band of dashing rouges. We are the Dead Men.” Skulduggery expects the men to show some reaction to the name that strikes fear into the hearts of Mevolent’s supporters. Fear, Surprise, Anger. What he is not expecting is a blank looks all around.

“Dead Men?” Joseph asks puzzled “Never heard of you. Have you Avdol?”

“No Mr. Joestar” the Egyptian replies.

“Hey, what’s up with you two?” Polnareff interjects, pointing at Skulduggery and Ghastly. “Why are you wearing scarves in this heat? Do you have something wrong with your face or something?” making Ghastly tenses at the insult.

“Good point Polnareff,” Joseph continues “and what about you? You seem awfully skinny. What’s the matter not got any meat on your bones.” Polnareff and Joseph giggle at the remark.

“Well now that you mention it...” Skulduggery begins and, with his free hand reaches to the scarf around his face and tosses it aside to reveal his gleaming skull beneath.

“OH MY GOD.” yells Joseph in surprise and Avdol’s and Polnareff’s jaws drop. Even Jotaro’s eyes widen before his face returns to his normal stoic gaze.

“He’s a Skeleton,” Avdol gasps “He must be a follower of DIO; only he could be responsible for such undead monstrosity.”

“I’m not going to let some shitty skeleton sent by that bastard DIO stop us!” Polnareff shouts. “Silver Chariot.” Silver Chariot jumps out with his rapier drawn and Skulduggery fires off his gun but Star Platinum is out just as fast to stop the bullets from hitting Joseph. The old man lunges for Skulduggery with a cry of “Hermit Purple.” Ghastly and Ravel are just as quick off the blocks and push at the air which shimmers before catapulting Joseph off his feet and away. However one of Hermit Purple’s vines has latched onto Skulduggery’s arm and he is carried through the air with him and they both crash down together in a heap.

“Saracen go and help Skulduggery with the old man,” Anton says taking charge, “Ghastly, you take the man with all the jewellery. Erskine, you take the swordsman. Me and Dexter will take care of the boy.” The Dead Men nod in agreement and as Saracen hurries over to help Skulduggery the others prepare for battle.

A Tailor Made Fortune[]

Removing the scarf from around his head to clear up his vision, Ghastly settles into a fighter’s stance and waits for his opponent to make the first move. Avdol stands with his left arm held out in front of him, almost beckoning Ghastly to come at his with his fingers. “I must warn you that I am a fortune teller” he says “and I have seen that this battle will not end well for you”. Magician’s Red appears next to him in a blaze of fire with a screeching roar.

“That’s an interesting Gist you’ve got there Mr?” Ghastly asks.

“Avdol. Mohamed Avdol. And this is my Stand, Magician’s Red.” Magician’s Red let’s forth a burst on fire into the air, creating firework like explosions in the sky to show off its power. Ghastly is impressed by the fighting spirit but let’s none of it show in his face as he maintains his stance. Finished with his posturing, Avdol turns his attention back to the scarred man and points his finger to him. Magician’s Red immediately shoots a stream of flames at Ghastly but he swerves out of the way, using the air to create a skin tight barrier around his person which deflects the flames as they lap at him. With a twist of the wrist the flames are swept away and extinguished. “Impressive,” Avdol says “I’ve never seen anybody able to withstand the flames of Magician’s Red before.”

“Nothing a bit of Elemental Magic can’t handle,” Ghastly retorts.

“Well, let’s see how you’re fare against the mighty power of-“Avdol readies his ultimate attacks “CROSSFIRE, HURRICANE.” Magician’s Red fires off the powerful attack and it forms an Ankh of flames. Ghastly puts his hands together and blasts forth a column of wind which collides with the Ankh and splits it off into several smaller flames which sink into the Egyptian Sand harmlessly. Ghastly then manipulates the air particles above Magician’s Red to create a raincloud which douses the flames surrounding the Stand in an attempt to prevent anymore attacks. Avdol chuckles at the attempt and Magician’s Red easily evaporates the liquefied air particles with a burst of flames. “Did you really think that some measly specks of water would be able to contain the power of Magician’s Red?” he asks rhetorically. “CROSSFIRE, HURRICANE,” he shouts again and Magician’s Red sends forth another flaming Ankh. Once more Ghastly sends forth a column of air but that’s exactly what Avdol was expecting and he waits for the air to hit the Ankh before splitting it into several smaller Ankh’s which disperse around the column and burst forth towards Ghastly from several different directions.

The flames are just about to hit him when Ghastly holds his hands out and somehow manages to control the Ankh’s, merging them together into one large fireball which he throws back at Avdol. He tries to leap out of the way but he is too slow and some of the fire latches onto him and set his baggy robes on fire. Yelping as the fire scorches his skin he throws himself onto the ground and rolls around in the sand to beat out the flames. As he does so Ghastly moves towards him, sinking into a Boxer’s stance and shuffling towards his flailing opponent. He reaches him just as Avdol manages to extinguish the flames and gets to his feet, back turned to Ghastly as he checks his wounds. He turns around just in time for Ghastly to slug him across the jaw with a vicious right hook which makes him stumble back. Dazed he doesn’t react fast enough to stop a left handed jab to the nose which causes pain to shoot up his face and make his eyes water. Sensing the opportunity, Ghastly uses the creates a barrier of air which covers his right hand and he lowers himself to deliver an uppercut to the fortune teller’s chin, the extra power added by the air knocking him several feet backwards into a heap, unconscious.

Ghastly relaxes slightly and looks around to see how his comrades are doing. He catches Anton’s Gist out of the corner of his eye, the spirit clawing viciously at Star Platinum. “I guess he won’t need any help then,” he murmurs to himself. Dexter isn’t with him and as he looks for him he spots him circling a kid with long red hair, a strange green spirit floating next to him. “He looks like he’s struggling a bit” he thinks and almost as if his mind is being the spirit shoots an energy blast at Dexter, hitting him full on and causing several deep wounds. He groans and drops to his knees and the spirit to grab onto him with its tendrils. Having seen enough, Ghastly hurries over to his friend to lend his assistance.

Joseph Outwits the Skeleton and the Whiner []

The two men untangle themselves and get to their feet. Joseph makes the first move and sends out Hermit Purple to smack Skulduggery across the face and send him reeling. He follows this up with an attempted kick to the ribs but Skulduggery is able to block it with his palms and uses a gust of wind to knock Joseph off balance. “OH NO!” he yells dramatically as he topples backwards and lands right on his behind. Scrambling backwards as Skulduggery advances on him, he uses the opportunity to grab a flat slab of rock from the ground and grip it tightly in his hand. “Please, you wouldn’t hurt and old man would you?” he asks feinting fear.

“Don’t worry,” Skulduggery says “I won’t hurt you at all. I’m just going to punch you so hard you won’t have time to register the pain.” He suddenly jabs forward with his hand but Joseph is expecting the attack and raises the rock, channelling Ripple through it as he does. “When you touch this rock your undead bony body is going to disintegrate” he thinks to himself...

“Don’t touch that rock,” a voice cries from behind Skulduggery and quick as a flash he turns his body and angles the fist away. Joseph grunts annoyed but gets to his feet as Saracen runs over. “He’s done something to that rock, if you’d touched it you’d have been a gonner,” he says breathily.

“How did you know that” Joseph asks intrigued.   

“I know things” Saracen replies. Now faced with two opponents, Joseph’s mind races as he tries to think up a way out of this situation. He doesn’t get much time though as Saracen rushes him and he brings his arms up to block a punch before ducking low to avoid a jumping kick from Skulduggery. He desperately tries to hold off the two Dead Men as he backs up and is doing so admirably but he realises this can’t go on for much longer. He surprises the two men by throwing himself forward and grappling Saracen round the shoulders. He controls his breathing and is about to let forth a Ripple charge when he feels a sickly pain move up from his groin. Releasing his grip, his hands go to his crotch as the pain seeps through him and he drops to the ground. He feels the cold hard press of a boot on his back as he lies on the ground and once the pain has subsided he looks up at Skulduggery and Saracen who peer down at him.

“That’s not fair,” he protests “You can’t punch me in the balls that’s the sacred area. You could have ended the Joestar family line right there.”

“I didn’t punch you in the balls,” Saracen retorts shrugging “Technically I kneed you in the balls.”

“Well either way it’s not fair.”

“This is War, anything goes.”

“Well you got me there. Now would you mind letting me get up and we can shake hands and go our separate ways.”

Saracen barks a laugh. “What makes you think we’re going to do that? You’re lying on the ground old man. You’re beaten.” To his surprise Joseph shakes his head and chuckles.

“Either you’re going to let me up or I’m going to have to teach you how to respect your elders.” Saracan raises his boot and slams it down on his back and he jolts suddenly.

“And how exactly are you going to do that?”

“I’ll use this sword you kindly let me borrow.”

“What swo-“Saracen starts but as he reaches to his scabbard he finds his sword is missing. “Hamon Overdrive” Joseph yells and swings the sword at Saracens leg, sending a burst of Ripple up it as he does. The blade alone fails to penetrate Saracen’s armour but the Ripple causes a small explosion of Ripple which bursts a tear in the material just above the ankle. He jerks his leg away suddenly before his foot gets sliced off and this gives Joseph the space to wriggle his way free from the other boot and throw the weapon right at Skulduggery, who uses the air to slow it to a halt just before it slices into his skull.

“How the hell did you manage that” Saracan says.

“When I lunged forward at you before I slipped my hand around the Hilt. I knew you’d try and take advantage of this to kick me in the balls and used the momentum to drag the sword out, making sure that your eyes were kept on me as I rolled on the floor. I was hoping that Boney M. over there would get close enough so I could give him a Ripple blast but I had to settle for cutting off your foot.” He looks at the shredded leg battle armour. “Although I didn’t think you clothing was that strong.” Saracen looks on in shock before turning to Skulduggery who is still holding the sword inches away from his eye socket.

“I must admit that was really, really cleaver,” Skulduggery says “You are a lot more cunning that I gave you credit for.” Joseph can’t help but smile at the compliment.

“Yeah, that was pretty damn smart” Saracen says begrudgingly. Skulduggery tosses him his sword and he puts it back in the Scabbard.

“But now we know how cunning you are we aren’t going to let you get that opportunity again.” Skulduggery draws one of his Revolvers and aims it at the Ripple user. “Now you’re going stand right there like a good senior citizen and Saracen is going to put these handcuffs on you.” He jingles the handcuffs with his spare hand and tosses them to Saracan. He walks towards him but as he gets close Joseph lets out a chuckle.

“You didn’t really think all I did was throw that sword at you was it.” Skulduggery frowns internally and for the first time he notices that Hermit Purple is dangling from Joseph’s right wrist. He eye sockets follow the direction and notices that it disappears under the ground and he immediately looks down to see a pair of vines wrapped around his foot, glowing yellow with some sort of energy. The vines contort and wrench away and he feels a pop as his leg is pulled clean out of the socket. He yells and, unbalanced, he topples to the ground as his leg is dragged away. Saracan lets out a shout of anger and goes to run after him when something latches onto his foot and he trips, falling head first into the dusty, sandy ground. “Do you need some help Mr Joestar?” Joseph looks on amazed as Noriaki Kakyoin poses in the dipping sunlight; Iggy stood growling by his side. Hierophant Green floats besides him with one of its tentacles wrapped around Saracens foot.

“KAKYOIN” he cheers happily and the teenager smiles. Skulduggery uses this opportunity to stretch his palm out and yank his leg from Joseph’s grip, pulling it back towards the socket. “Actually you can do me a favour, Kakyoin,” he asks “Take care of the whinging one while I use the Joestar Family Secret Technique.” He winks and Kakyoin nods. Turning on his heels, he darts off further into Cairo as Skulduggery reattaches his leg, testing it out gingerly before chasing off after him.

“So it looks like I’ll have to introduce you to a little friend call Hierophant Green.” Kakyoin says quietly and drags Saracen towards him and flings him into the sand.

“Not so fast kiddo” calls a voice and Kakyoin tilts his head to look at Dexter Vex who is moving towards him, battered and bruised but he’s eyes show that he’s far from beaten. “I’m the one who’s going to teach you and that little buddy of yours a lesson.” Kakyoin shrugs and call Hierophant Green to his side. “Saracen you’re taking the dog” Dexter continues, charging up an energy blast in his hand.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not fighting no stinking mutt.” Saracen protests dusting himself off.

“What. Too worried you can’t handle a little doggy woggy?” Dexter says jokingly and Iggy barks at him in anger making him laugh.

“Fine. But once this is over you and me are going to have words.” Saracen says and Iggy paws the ground and growls.

The Dog vs. the Whiner[]

Saracen walked towards Iggy with his sword drawn. “Sorry, mutt.” Saracen said as he raised his sword. “This is going to hurt me more then it's going to hurt me more then it will hurt you.” He slashed downwards, but before his balde made contact with Iggy, dirt and sand formed around it. Saracen quikly let go of the sword as it got absorbed into the now fully formed body of The Fool.

“Oh come on!” he yelled annoyed. “The dog has one to?” Saracen looked at Iggy, who was somehow smirking. Iggy charged at Saracen and leaped towards him, hitting his face and knocking him down to the ground. Iggy clawed at Saracen's face and ripped out his hair with his jaws, Saracen desperately tried to get the dog of his face, only to have Iggy fart on him.


Expert's Opinion[]


To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Team Bucciarati (by Wassboss)[]

This warrior won a Fantasy Battle of the Year Award

Old Friends, New Enemies[]

Background: Set in an alternate universe where DIO was defeated without any casualties on the Stardust Crusaders side and without Jotaro having to unlock Star Platinum’s time stopping ability. The events of Diamond is Unbreakable never happened.

Naples Airport is always busy and today is no exception as thousands of tourists flood in to see the sights and trudge wearily home their holiday come to an end. The latest plane to come in is from New York, filled with American tourists who’ve travelled halfway across the world to enjoy the Italian summer. The first to disembark are the first class passengers and first amongst them is property tycoon Joseph Joestar, six foot five inches tall, muscles rippling under his tight fitting shirt and a fedora perched on light grey hair. He takes the headphones from his Sony Walkman as he descends down the air stairs and he is approached by a man wearing a hat with a wooden spoke wheel emblem, the words “Speedwagon Foundation” written above it. “Mr Joestar, you’ve arrived at last. Please follow me.” The man leads Joseph through arrivals, flashing his Speedwagon Foundation emblem to security who let them past without any hassle.

“Have the others arrived yet?” Joseph asks.

“Yes Mr Joestar. You just missed you grandson; he only landed an hour ago from Tokyo with Mr Kakyoin.” They exit the airport and a black car pulls up which Joseph gets into. As it navigates the traffic he looks out of his window, admiring the beauty of the city. “Beautiful women as well,” he thinks to himself before quickly banishing the thought from his head remembering what happened in Morioh. Eventually the car stops outside of an hotel and Joseph steps out, nodding to another Speedwagon Foundation employee who is watching over the front entrance. He takes the elevator up to the top floor, the penthouse suite, and raps on the door. It swings open and he is greeted by a silver haired Frenchman.

“Mr Joestar!” Polnareff says excitedly. “How are you ya mad old bastard?”

“Polnareff. I see you haven’t changed at all since I last saw you.” The two men grip each other’s shoulders affectionately and Polnareff leads him into the room. He shakes hands warmly with Avdol and Kakyoin and gets a solemn nod from Jotaro whereas Iggy doesn’t even look up from the coffee flavoured chewing gum he’s eating.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together in one place.” Joseph says.

“Indeed, it has Mr Joestar, not since Egypt.” Avdol replies

“14 years. Has it really been that long?” Kakyoin asks.

“Too long.” Joseph says smiling. His smile quickly disappears. “However, we’re not here for a reunion. We’re here for something much more serious. As you’re all probably aware the current crime situation in Italy is very bad. Criminal gangs are unopposed by the police and politicians who have been paid to look the other way and the illegal drug trade is booming. The worst and most powerful of these gang’s is Passione. We don’t know much about the don of this gang nobody does, even the other members of Passione don’t seem to kn-.”

“What does that have to do with us?” Jotaro interrupts.

“Jotaro! I was getting to that if you’d just be patient.”

“You talk too much gramps just get to the point.”

Joseph sighs. “Fine. Passione has an unusual number of Stand users within its ranks, far too many to be down to pure chance. The Speedwagon Foundation have been looking into this for a few years now and they think that Passione has managed to acquire a Stand making arrow.”

“Arrow? Like the ones we found in DIO’s mansion?” Avdol asks.

“Yes. In fact, we believe that the two might be connected,” Joseph replies. “As part of their research into the arrows we found, the Speedwagon Foundation tried to trace their origin and discovered the arrows were found in Egypt during an archaeological dig. However, they were stolen and nobody knew where they were.”

“So, somebody must’ve taken them and sold them off to DIO.”

“That’s right Kakyoin. But here’s where it gets very interesting. When they looked into who was on the excavation crew, they came across the name Solido Naso. It was a name they were already familiar with. It’s one of the alias’ used by the leader of Passione! So that means…”

“The head of Passione is the one who gave DIO the arrow to awaken his Stand!” Jotaro finishes. A silence falls across the room as the implication sets in. “So, all the trouble DIO caused, all the people he murdered, was down to a greedy gangsters?” Polnareff says angrily. “Is that why we’re here, to take down this son of a bitch?”

Joseph hesitates. “Well yes, sort of. Like I was saying nobody knows anything about this man, what his real name is, where he is or if he’s even a Stand user himself? What we do know is that he is ruthless towards anyone who tries to find out his identity especially those within Passione itself.”

“Then how are we supposed to stop him Mr Joestar?” Kakyoin says.

“That’s a good question. While we know little of the Boss himself, we do know quite a lot about Passione such as it is based here in Naples. The Speedwagon Foundation has called us in because it would be too dangerous for non-stand users to try and investigate any further. We’ve got some avenues for investigation. The first is through the drug trade. We’ve been informed of a warehouse which is being used to distribute cocaine and heroin throughout the city. Jotaro, Kakyoin I want you two to investigate that.” The pair nod in agreement.

“The second thing we can look into is the racketeering. Criminal gangs make a lot of money from extorsion and Passione is no different. Polnareff I want you to-”

“If I may interrupt Mr Joestar, are you sure you want to send Polnareff off on his own?” Avdol says.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean!” Polnareff says annoyed.

“Well it’s just every time we let you wander off by yourself you end up getting attacked by a Stand user.”

“Hey! That’s not true. Name me one time where that happened?”

“There was that time you were attacked in your room by Devo the Cursed, when you went off to confront J Geil and Hol Horse, when we ran into Enya the Hag in Pakistan-”

“Cameo, Alessi, Hol Horse again-” Kakyoin continues.

“And don’t forget that time he got possessed by that evil sword.” Jotaro adds . “Hmm, maybe your right,” Joseph says as Polnareff silently fumes. “In that case Avdol you can go and check around the local businesses. Take Iggy with you in case you need back up.”

“I don’t know why you bothered bringing that smelly mutt he won’t be any help.” Polnareff grumbles still annoyed. Iggy looks up from his chewing gum just long enough to growl menacingly at the Frenchman.

“We need all the help we can get. And don’t worry you won’t have to pair up with him you’re coming with me.” “And where are you going to be old man?” Jotaro inquires.

“Gangs are all split up into various factions lead by Capos. The capo of this particular area was a man called Polpo who ran his operation from inside a prison where he was serving a 15 year sentence.”


“Yes. A few days ago, he was found dead in his cell under mysterious circumstances. Originally the plan was to try and look into his activities but now he’s dead there will be a new Capo appointed.”

“And do we know who this new Capo is?”

“No. One thing we do know about Polpo as well was that he was in charge of the Passione initiation test and given how many Stand users they have in their ranks it’s likely he was also a Stand user.”

“So, what. If he’s dead now then what good does that do us.”

“Have a little more faith in me please Jotaro. Yes, he’s dead now but when he was alive he had a protégé if you will, someone who was tipped for big things in the organisation who helped Polpo out with duties he could not carry out from within his cell. If anyone was likely to be promoted to Capo it would be him. And if we can find him then we can maybe start to figure out more information about the Boss.”

“And who is this protégé?” Jotaro asks.

“Bucciarati. His name is Bruno Bucciarati”

Lunchtime at Libeccio's[]

Small, cosy and owned by the same family for over a century Libeccio serves food prepared with only the freshest ingredients. Famously locally but largely unheard of by tourists it has a spacious open restaurant floor for people to eat in but also has a more secluded eating area for its more ‘private’ customers. And it is here where Passione’s newest Capo Bruno Bucciarati and his gang of misfits are waiting for their lunch to be prepared.

“Bucciarati. Now we’re back in Naples I’ve been meaning to ask you. How did the drop off with Trish go?” Fugo asks. Bruno’s eyes flicker across to Giorno, who is watching intently.

“It was unusual. I took the elevator as per the Boss’ instructions but when I got to the top, I noticed Trish had disappeared. I was worried she’d been snatched by an enemy but when I came out of the elevator, I saw a note from the Boss. It thanked me for delivering his daughter to him and explained that he’d taken Trish from the elevator himself as a precaution.”

“He took her from the elevator? That’s an odd way to do it,” Mista says.

“I’m guessing he wanted to make extra sure she was safe. She is his only child so he’s probably very protective of her.”

“So, you didn’t actually meet the Boss?” Giorno asks.

“No. You know how the Boss likes his privacy.”

“Why though? What does he have to hide?”

“I wouldn’t ask questions like that.” Abbacchio says bluntly. “Remember what happened to those two from the Assassination Squad? They started getting curious and look where they ended up.”

“He’s right Giorno. It’s best if you keep those sort of questions to yourself.” Giorno opens his mouth as if to continue and Bruno looks at him, silently willing him to drop the topic. Before he can speak Bruno’s laptop beeps indicating that he’s received a new message.

“Who’s it from Bucciarati?” Mista asks as he checks the email.

“The Boss.” The mood around the table shifts instantly and they all crowd round the screen to get a glimpse of the message which reads;


After your great success in delivering my daughter to me I have another very important mission for you. I have learnt of a threat to Passione from the Speedwagon Foundation. I do not know many details at this time but I do know they have dispatched a group of Stand users to investigate our activities here in Naples. I have enclosed a picture of them.

Your mission is to eliminate them at any cost.

Succeed and you will be rewarded greatly.

The Boss.

Bruno clicks the attachment and picture opens in a new window, depicting five men posing for a camera in what appears to be a desert. One of them is holding a Boston terrier in his arms. He sits back in his chair and the rest of the gang watch him intently, waiting to hear what he has to say. After what seems like an age he speaks. “Right then here’s the plan. Since we don’t know if these Stands users have even arrived in Naples yet the first thing, we need to do is check the airport and the docks to see if there have been any unusual arrivals. Giorno, you know the airport pretty well so I want you to check there, ask the taxi drivers if they’ve had any unusual passengers. Fugo I want you and Narancia to go and check out the docks see if anybody came in that way.”

“Do I have to take Narancia? I always get stuck with him.” Fugo complains.

“Yeah well maybe I don’t want to always get stuck with you either,” Narancia retorts. “You’re always treating me like I’m some sort of idiot.”

“That’s because you are an idiot, idiot.”

“Shut the hell up the pair of you,” Abbacchio snaps suddenly, quietening the pair down.

“Thank you Abbacchio,” Bruno says before continuing. “Of course, chances are if they have already arrived then they’ll be looking into our activities in the area. What’ll grab their attention first is the drug trade.” His lips curl in distaste at the thought of drug distribution is happening in his city. “I know of an industrial unit that Passione uses for smuggling. Mista, can you check around that area to see if anyone has seen anything suspicious.”

“Of course, Bucciarati, no problem.”

“The other thing they’ll be trying to find out is who the Capo of Naples is. That was Polpo but obviously with him dead they’ll almost certainly come looking for any associates and that will lead them here looking for me. Abbacchio, we’re going to check with the locals to see if there has been anybody asking about me. Any questions?”

“What if we do encounter one of the men?” Giorno asks.

“Take them out if you can but remember these are unknown Stand users and we don’t know what their Stands can do. Be cautious and don’t be afraid to call for back-up if you can’t handle it. Any other questions?” Everybody shakes their head apart from Mista who raises his hand sheepishly.

“What about our lunch though? I know this mission is very important but if I don’t feed these guys soon, they’re going to start complaining.” He opens up the chamber of his revolvers and twelve pairs of eyes look up hungrily at him. Bruno sighs.

“They’ll just have to suck it up and deal with it. This takes priority over everything else.” The pistols grumble at the answer which Bruno ignores. “If there aren’t any more serious questions then we’d better get moving, we can’t afford to waste anymore time if we want to stop these guys.” The gang leaves the restaurant and split off to attend to their tasks, leaving the delicious aromas of Libeccio’s behind them.

A Fiery Haze Descends[]

“And there has been no peculiar arrivals today?” Fugo asks the harbormaster. The man shakes his head. “Just the usual tourists and traders. It’s been quiet today. Were you expecting somebody in particular?”

“No, no. Thank you for your time sir.” Fugo turns to leave.

“Hold on. You work for Bucciarati right?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Could you put in a word to him for me about my debts to Passione. I’ve always paid on time but it’s been getting harder and harder with less people using naval shipping. I was hoping for a reduction maybe, since I have helped you with your enquires.”

“I’ll make sure to mention it to him.” Fugo walks over to Narancia who is sat looking down at the sea, legs dangling above the water. “Narancia. Didn’t I tell you to keep watch while I talked to the harbormaster?”

“I was Fugo, I swear. But I haven’t eaten yet today and the fishes look so delicious I got distracted.”

“How can you think of your stomach at a time like this when we’re supp-”

“Maybe we could grab something to eat. It doesn’t look like anybody has come through the docks.”.

Fugo feels the anger rising up inside of him. “Are you even listening to me you stup-”

“There’s a nice little pizzeria around here. What I wouldn’t give for a nice mushroom pizza right now,” Narancia says absentmindedly. He is suddenly yanked upwards as Fugo grabs him around the collar.

“LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT! WE’RE ON A MISSION FROM THE BOSS AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS PIZZA!” Fugo draws his arm back to punch Narancia but freezes suddenly. He instead drags Narancia behind one of the docked yachts.

“Hey, hey, hey what are you doing,” Narancia says confused.

“Look! Over there by the boat hire place.” Narancia looks over and sees a man in a red robe with a blue scarf, bangles and medallions hanging off him walking through the door.

“What. All I see is someone going to rent a boat.”

“Were you not paying attention earlier? That’s one of the men from the picture. He’s one of the Stand users we’re supposed to be eliminating.” Narancia looks puzzled as if in deep thought before something clicks in his brain and he perks up.

“Oh yeah. You’re right I remember now. Let’s go take care of him then.” Narancia steps out from behind the yacht only to be dragged back behind it by Fugo.

“We can’t just waltz over there and attack him you idiot. We don’t know what his Stand is.”

“Well how the hell are we going to do that?”

“Don’t worry Narancia I have a plan.”

Avdol exits the boat hire shop frustrated once again. This is the twelfth business he’s checked today and it’s the same story every time. The owners are all friendly and helpful to start with but as soon as the topic of the Mafia comes up, they all clam up. He can’t tell if they’re involved in the gang’s activities or are just scared of retribution if they speak out but whatever their reasons, he’s no closer to finding out any concrete information about Passione. He looks around for Iggy but unsurprisingly it looks as if he’s wandered off somewhere. “That dog always has to be awkward” he mummers.

He hears a whirring sound and looks up into the sky to see a small toy airplane flying above. It suddenly darts down, heading right for him and he has to throw himself to the ground to avoid being struck by it. He looks around angrily for whoever is controlling the plane but he can’t see anyone with a controller in sight. A couple of passers-by look at him strangely and he gets to his feet embarrassed. The plane swoops down low again and Avdol ducks out of the way as it flies over him and flies right past the head of the person walking behind him. However, they don’t react to the plane at all, almost as if they can’t even see it.

Avdol gets a bad feeling in his gut and he looks around at the other people around the dock. None of them seem to acknowledge the plane’s existence, despite the noise it is making. “Could this toy plane be an enemy Stand” he thinks to himself. Deciding to test his theory he fires a small ball of fire at the plane. As soon as the flame gets within a few metres of the plane it abruptly swerves out of the way. His suspicions confirmed Avdol watches the plane as it circles above for several more seconds, before abruptly diving down at Avdol’s position. Now prepared he summons Magician’s Red but is caught off guard as the plane suddenly starts firing bullets at him. A couple of them strike Magician’s Red in the arm, causing the same wounds to appear on Avdol’s arms. He is quick to recover though and melts through the remaining bullets with a burst of flames.

“Crossfire Hurricane!” he cries out and fires a flaming ankh from his Stand’s mouth but the plane is too nimble and swerves away from it. It fires another barrage at Avdol but this is again easily dealt with by the flames of Magician’s Red. He uses Crossfire Hurricane once more which the plane barrel rolls away from but this time, he splits the attack in two and the second ankh catches the planes wing, setting it alight. Suddenly Narancia hops out from behind one of the yachts, screaming in with one of his arm on fire and jumps into the sea in an attempt to douse the flames. Fugo rushes out from the same spot to help his friend but stops dead in his tracks as he sees Avdol approach. “Don’t come any closer to me or you’ll regret it,” Fugo says coldly.

“Why did your friend attack me?” Avdol asks.

“You’ve been snooping around, sticking your nose in places you shouldn’t. The Boss doesn’t like that.”

“You’re part of Passione?!” Avdol says surprised. “Does that mean that you’re a Stand user as well?”

“Yes I am.”

“In which case I’m going to have to defeat you as well.” Magician’s Red appears beside him and Fugo calls upon his own Stand. Purple Haze appears snarling in front of Fugo and lunges for the fortune teller only for his stand to intercept the attack. A series of wild punches follow all of which Magician’s Red easily dodges, until one of the punches grazes a nearby pole and shatters one of the bulbs on it’s knuckles. The virus seeps out and Avdol, sensing the danger in the purple mist that is starting to surround Purple Haze, backs away as the virus swirls around. A bird which just so happened to by flying past at the time is not so lucky and the virus devours it, leaving behind a rotting corpse as Avdol looks on in shock. “What on happened to that bird?”

“My Stand, Purple Haze, creates a virus which devours all within it’s vicinity within thirty seconds,” Fugo explains. “I warned you not to get close to me.”

“That is a despicable power,” Avdol says, his voice dripping with disgust. “Only someone truly evil would develop a Stand like that. I was just going to leave you unconscious but I cannot allow such evil to exist in the world.” Using Magician’s Red, he conjures up a swirling mass of flames and nudges it gently towards the infected area. As the flames connect with the virus the sheer heat destroys it, slowly disinfecting the area until the virus is eliminated completely. Satisfied the danger from the virus has gone he throws the flaming mass at Fugo, who just about manages to throw himself to the ground to avoid it. Avdol catches the sounds of whirring behind him once more and turns to face Aerosmith which has re-joined the battle. Narancia stands a few metres away, his right arm badly burnt but no doused of the flames.

The plane opens fire and a wall of flames melts them down harmlessly. Fugo takes advantage of the distraction to attack with Purple Haze again but this time Avdol is prepared and as the punch comes in Magician’s Red grabs the arm by the wrist, holding it in place so that the blubs cannot break. It then delivers two powerful kicks to the Stand’s side and Fugo feels his ribs shatter, followed by the searing pain of his wrist being broken. He cries out in agony but Avdol isn’t finished with him yet and follows up with a Crossfire Hurricane which smashes into Fugo directly, setting his jacket on fire. He desperately slips the jacket off and rolls away but the flames have already burnt him badly and he slumps over.

Seeing his friend and tutor so badly injured spurs Narancia on and he yells in anger as Aerosmith goes all out, ducking and weaving about while firing it’s bullets. Focusing his attention on the plane Stand, Magician’s Red is easily able to melt down the bullets and even Aerosmith’s bomb is harmlessly burned to a cinder. A snaking trails of flames burst forward and wraps around Narancia’s arms, legs and neck, pinning him to a nearby wall. “I’m going to give you a chance here,” Avdol says. “Tell me what you know about the Don of Passione and I’ll leave you relatively unharmed.”

“I’ll never tell you anything you bastard!” Narancia shouts as he struggles against the fiery binds. “Not after what you’ve done to my friend!”

“Your friend is a threat to everyone with a Stand ability that dangerous. I did what I had to.” He feels a faint tugging on his robe and looks down to see Fugo grasping at him. This is followed by a strong punch to the side of his face. Knocked to the ground, Avdol rubs his cheek and looks up to see Purple Haze stood above him. He notices that two more bulbs have been broken and he realises in horror what this means. “Magician’s Red!” he shouts and he tries to create flames to destroy the virus but it is too late and he screams as it consumes him. With the flaming binds now dissipating Narancia takes a moment to catch him breath before going to help Fugo.

“NARANCIA, STOP” Fugo cries out and Narancia stops in his tracks. “You need to go and find the others.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“You have to.”

“But…” The realisation suddenly dawns on Narancia. “Wait Fugo, you’re, you’re…”

“Yes, I know. Even I’m not immune to Purple Haze,” Fugo says and holds his arm up, the flesh falling off in chunks. “If you come any closer it’ll devour you too.”

“Why, why did you do this?”.

“He was too strong. This is the only way to stop him.”

“But. But.?” Narancia splutters, tears in his eyes.

Fugo can feel the virus slowly moving up the rest of his body but keeps his voice calm when he speaks. “Listen to me Narancia. If the rest of these Stand users are as powerful as this the others are going to need your help. I need you to be strong.”

“But what if I’m not strong?”

Fugo smiles despite his pain. “You are strong enough Narancia. You underestimate yourself. I believe in you.” With those final words the virus fully consumes him. Narancia collapses to his knees wailing, with tears streaming down his face. After a few seconds of mourning, he wipes the tears from his eyes, the sadness replaced with a furious determination.

“I’ll make you proud Fugo,” he whispers and, clutching his injured arm, goes off to find his friends, leaving the bodies of Avdol and Fugo rotting in sun.

Anarchy in the Repubblica Italia[]

“Hey Mista! When are we going to get some food!?” Mista looks down.

“This has already been explained to you Number One, we’ll eat after we finish this mission.”

“But I’m hungry now,” Number One protests.

“Yeah me too,” Number Two whines.

“I’m so hungry I could punch something,” says Number Three. Right after he says this, he smacks Number Five in the face, who starts crying.

“Hey Number Three! What have I told you about bullying Number Five?” Two of the pistols darts in from behind him, carrying a bag of crisps in their hand.”

“Hey look what we found,” they say excitedly, getting a cheer from the other pistols, except for Number Five who is still crying.

“Number Six, Number Seven. Where did you get that from?” Mista asks.

“They were in the display for that corner shop we passed about a minute ago,” Number Six replies.

“You can’t just steal from people like that,” Mista says sternly but the Pistols ignore him, having already opened the bag and started stuffing their faces. He sighs and looks around for the warehouse, which should be somewhere nearby. He spots it, sitting discreetly on the corner, looking just like all the dozens of other warehouses on this street. As he approaches however, he can hear the sound of banging and crashing come from within. He cautiously enters through the front gate into the courtyard which is unusually empty. Creeping up to the large open shutter door, he presses himself up against the wall and draws his revolver. He peers around the corner into the warehouse where the source of all the noise is coming from. There are crates all over the place, some opened some not and there is a lot of packing machinery, exactly what you’d expect from a warehouse. What you wouldn’t expect however is to find is the workers lying prone all over the floor.

Mista barely gives any notice to any of that however, his attention is fixed on the two men making all the commotion. One of them, who is tall, heavily muscled and dressed all in black is making most of the noise as he threatens the workers, barking questions at them and throwing them about if they do not answer to his liking. The other, much shorter and slimmer and dressed in green, is considerably calmer and merely watches as his associate does his business. Mista feels no sympathy for the workers, they help to enable the plague of drugs to infect the city. And besides they’ll act as a good distraction. He waits till neither are looking his way before sneaking into the warehouse, using the crates as cover to keep himself hidden.

As he gets closer, he can start to make out some of the words being spoken. “I’m not going to keep asking you,” the tall man says. “Tell me who’s in charge of this warehouse.”

“I don’t know, we’re just paid to package up the drugs for supply,” one of the workers replies terrified. As Mista creeps forward some more he feels his foot brush against something and looks down to see a small green rope. The man in green’s head snaps around suddenly.

“Jotaro. Something just tripped Hierophant’s perimeter.” Mista freezes and when he looks down at the rope again, he can see that it is moving. He looks back at the two men.

“Where Kakyoin?” Jotaro asks.

“Over by those crates,” Kakyoin replies, pointing right at the area Mista is hidden behind. “Is there somebody over there?” Jotaro asks. Mista stays silent.

“I’ll investigate.” Kakyoin starts to walk over to Mista’s position. Knowing his cover is about to be blown he realises he has no choice but to engage.

He stands up from behind the crate, firing his revolver as he does. He fires three rounds at Kakyoin. Hierophant Green appears next to him and with a cry of “ERMALDO SPLASHU” does its signature attack. This manages to destroy two of the bullets outright but Number One manages to deflect it’s bullet away, over to Number Two who kicks it right back at Kakyoin’s exposed head. However, this one is also blocked, this time by Star Platinum who snatches the bullet out of mid-air and drops it harmlessly to the floor. Backing away, Mista fires off the remaining three bullets he has loaded. This time the crusaders are more prepared and Star Platinum rushes forward, throwing a barrage of punches. However, the Pistols have also learnt from their previous failure and before the punches can connect, they kick the bullets away.

Number One, Two and Three, who had stayed out from the previous attack are ready in position and kick them back on course at the now vulnerable Jotaro. Hierophant Green fires off another Emerald Splash but once again the Pistols are there to deflect the bullets away from being destroyed and back on course. All three slam into Jotaro but he has managed to call back Star Platinum just in time and catches them before they can connect with his body. Mista opens up his revolver and flicks his head down, dropping out the bullets he keeps in his hat. Two of them drop onto the floor but the rest slot into the chamber and Mista looks down in horror.

“Damnit why four” he says. Deciding that fate clearly isn’t on his side for this battle he turns and flees but as he reaches the exit Hierophant Green rises before him to block it.

“EMERALDO SPLASHU.” He throws himself to the side as the emeralds explode out at him. A couple graze him but none connect solidly. He looks around for an exit and sees an office up a flight of metal stairs. Hoping there is another exit from within the office he dashes up he steps and bursts through the door but his hopes are quickly dashed. Realising he’s just trapped himself Mista curses under his breath and closes the door behind him. He drags a heavy filing cabinet across the room to barricade the door. Loading another two bullets into the chamber he calls back Sex Pistols.

“Sex Pistols. I need you to distract those Stand users for me while I make a call.” He fires all his shots through the window with the Pistols riding on a bullet. Picking up the office phone on the desk he punches in the number for Giorno’s mobile.


“Hey Giorno. It’s me Mista.”

“Ah. I’ve not had much luck at the airport, none of the taxi drivers have seen any of the Stand users we’re looking for.”

“Forget about that. I’ve found two of them. Bruno was right they were investigating the drug warehouse. I’m currently trapped in the office and I need some back up. Do you know where the warehouse is?”

“Yes. I remember Bruno giving you the location. Just hang in there Mista I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

“Please hurry.” As he hangs up the phone, Number Five flies through the window carrying Number Three.

“Mista! We’ve got a problem. Number Three was hit by that emerald attack thingy. He’s in a bad way.” Mista takes the injured Number Three gently in his hands. “Is he going to die?” Number Five says tears appearing in its eyes.

“Don’t worry Number Five, he’ll be alright. How are the others doing?”

“Not so good either Mista. The tall guy’s Stand is too fast and keeps intercepting the bullets and the little guy keeps spamming his emerald attack so we can’t get close.”

“It’s okay Number Five. Giorno is on his way so we just need to hold on until he gets here.” Just as he says this the door to the office ruptures off the hinges, the filing cabinet smashing into the far wall. Jotaro steps through the doorway, Star Platinum beside him. “Shit!” Mista exclaims and looks around for a way out. See the only exit is the window he jumps through, landing hard on the factory floor. Groaning he gets gingerly to his feet and limps off to find a hiding place until Giorno arrives.

I’m just a Gangster (In a Rock and Roll Gang)[]

Bruno waves down an old lady as she walks out the bakery. “Mrs Menini. Could I spare a moment of your time please?”

“Of course, Bucciarati.”

“Have you seen any of the men in this picture?” Bruno asks, showing her the picture the boss sent them in his email. “Ah yes. The old man in the centre. He came over and asked me about you. He spoke very good Italian for a tourist. I told him you eat at Libeccio’s often so to try looking for you there.” Bruno looks over at Abbacchio.

“When was this?”

“About five minutes ago.”


“Over there,” Mrs Menini points to the street corner.

“Thank you very much for your help.”

“Your welcome Bucciarati.” Bruno and Abbacchio walk over to the spot she indicated.

“Can you use Moody Blues to rewind to five minutes ago.” Bruno commands.

“No problem Bucciarati.” Abbacchio summons his Stand and sets the timer for five minutes. Moody Blues transforms into the man from the picture and the timer on it’s head starts to count down.

“I see. Thank you for answering my questions,” the man says. A few seconds of silence follow.

“Did the old lady know anything?” A voice asks.

“Apparently this Bruno Bucciarati eats at a place called Libeccio’s. So that sounds like as good a place as any to look.” Moody Blues starts walking off so Bruno and Abbacchio follow it.

“So, he obviously isn’t alone,” Bruno says.

“No. Unfortunately Moody Blues can only replay one person at a time. So, we don’t know which of the other men from the picture he is with.” They follow Moody Blues for a couple of minutes.

“Look! That’s them over there,” Bruno says pointing. The old man from the picture, in the distance, is walking alongside another man from the picture, man with the silver hair. “I want you to stay back Abbaccio as your Stand is not suited for combat. Keep following them though, in case I need your help.” He opens a zip in the ground and steps into the void, leaving Abbacchio to follow the two men alone.

“Every time I close my eyes, I wake up feeling so horny.”

Joseph looks over distastefully at the two teenagers blaring their stereo as they walk down the street. “Kids these days,” he grumbles. “Why don’t they listen to proper music like the Beatles?

“It’s just because you’re old Mr Joestar. I bet you liked some crap when you were younger,” Polnareff says.

“Maybe but at least I didn’t play it loudly so that everybody else had to hear it as well.” Polnareff goes to retort but as he looks over at Joseph, he sees a man appearing out of the wall.

“Look out Mr Joestar!” Joseph turns just as Bruno lashes a kick into his chest, making him stumble back. “SILVER CHARIOT!” His Stands leaps forth ready to fight and Bruno summons Sticky Fingers. Silver Chariot stabs rapidly at the Stand which ducks and weaves out of the way and Bruno drops into a roll and drives his foot into Polnareff’s face. The impact of the blow sends him flying into a nearby dumpster and when he emerges, he finds his assailant had disappeared. Looking around cautiously, he rushes over to Joseph who is hunched over in a darkened alleyway. “Are you okay Mr Joestar,” he asks. He feels somebody grab him around the throat and drag him backwards. He calls on Silver Chariot to protect him but Joseph leaps up and grabs it’s arms, twisting them behind it’s back.

“I can’t believe you actually fell for that.” Abbacchio says from behind him. Polnareff notices for the first time that Joseph has a timer stamped across his forehead. “My Moody Blues isn’t the strongest but it looks as if your Stand isn’t all that strong either.” Polnareff claws desperately at Abbacchio’s arms but the grip is too tight and his vision starts to go black. Suddenly the grip loosens and Polnareff drops to his knee, panting heavily to regain his breath. He and shouts in shock as he sees the decapitated head of Abbacchio resting against his leg and looks around to see his headless body lying on the ground.

“What the hell just happened,” Polnareff says bewildered. His question is answered as a Boston terrier appears from behind a trash can. “Iggy! Was it you who saved my life?” Iggy looks at him blankly and picks up a piece of mouldy meat from the floor next to a trashcan Abbacchio was standing by. “Di-Did you kill that man just for some smelly out of date meat” Polnareff says. “And anyway, weren’t you supposed to be with Avdol?” Iggy merely shrugs as he tucks into his prize. Polnareff wants to be mad with the selfish little mutt but considering he did just save his life he lets it slide. He looks back at the Stand he originally thought was Joseph, watching it turn into golden dust and float up into the sky.

“If that was a Stand then where did Mr Joestar go….”

The Man with the Golden Gun[]

Mista stands wedged in behind some pipes hiding from his pursuers. So tight is the space that every movement jams another piece of pipe into him. He looks over enviously at another space, tucked away between two large shipping crates which looks a damn sight more comfortable than where he’s hiding. “It’s too risky to move now” he thinks. Number One appears beside him.

“Mista, The guy in green is using his Stand to try and find you. He’s coming this way now so be ready.”

“Thanks for the warning Number One. You’d better stay here just in case I need you.”

“Sure thing,” Number One replies and perches on Mista’s shoulder. A short while later a group of thin green tentacles slither out and start poking around. One of the tentacles slides over the pipes that Mista is hiding behind. “Look Mista” Number One whispers and points up, to where another tentacle is dropping down from the ceiling. He holds his breath as it dangles right next to his face and locks his body in place. After a few seconds the tentacle recedes. “They’re leaving” Number 1 whispers excitedly. Mista peers out from behind the pipes and watches as the tentacles slowly disappear from view. Relaxing he lets out a deep sigh of relief and Number One pumps his fist. “We did it Mista!” it exclaims happily.

“Go and check on the others. Make sure that as soon as Giorno arrives to let me know.”

“Sure, thing Mista.” Number One darts off leaving Mista alone once more. He feels something tickling his leg and reaches down to scratch it. His hand brushes against something cold and floppy and the blood drains from his face when he looks down to see a green tentacle wrapping around his leg. He tries to shake free but another one slides down from above and latches onto his arm. They yank at him suddenly, dragging him out. He tries grabbing hold of the pipes but more and more tentacles wrap around him until he can no longer match their strength and he is dragged out and into the open area. Kakyoin and Jotaro are both stood waiting for him and Hierophant Green lifts him up into the air, upside down, wrapping more and more around him until he is completely immobilised.

“Good job Kakyoin,” Jotaro says.

“I knew my Hierophant Green would be able to find him. Not exactly befitting of a gangster to be cowering away surely?” Kakyoin says. “But anyway, now we have managed to find you I we have a few questions for you. Who is the Boss?”

“No comment,” Mista says sarcastically. Hierophant Green squeezes and Mista feels his body being crushed and the breath being forced out of his body. The coils loosen slightly, enough to allow him to breath again.

“This will only get more painful for you if you don’t answer us,” Jotaro says.

“I don’t know who the Boss is.”

“Maybe your superior knows. Who is he?”

“Like hell I’m telling you.” The coils squeeze again this time for longer to the point that Mista almost passes out before they loosen again.

“I don’t like people who try to be the tough guy,” Jotaro says. “Answer the questions properly or my friend here will crush the life out of you.” It is at that moment that the sound of screeching tires pierces the air and all three of them look in the direction of the noise. A car smashes through the shutter doors and brakes sharply, causing the car to flip over through the air. Giorno flings himself out of the car door as it hurtles through the air. Kakyoin is forced to release his grip on Mista to duck out of the way and Jotaro summons Star Platinum to grab the car in mid-air, tossing it harmlessly to the side. Giorno rushes over to Mista.

“Are you injured?” he asks.

“Other than a few bruises not really,” Mista says gasping for breath. “That’s quite an entrance you made,” Kakyoin says dusting himself off as he gets to his feet.

“My friend was in danger. There was no time for caution,” Giorno responds.

“So, you must be part of Passione as well then. Perhaps you can be more helpful than your friend here.”

“We’ve been told to eliminate anybody who snoops into our activities. The only help I can give you is to suggest you leave Italy now.”

“Is that right is it?” Kakyoin says raising his eyebrow. “Well we’re not going anywhere until we find out who’s in charge of Passione and stop him.”

“Then you know what I must do. GOLDEN EXPERIENCE,” Giorno cries and his Stand springs forth, punching a small piece of metal lying on the ground nearby. It transforms into a winding jungle vine which weaves through the air and slams into Kakyoin, carrying him backwards into the wall behind. Jotaro attempts to aid him by using Star Platinum to punch the vine but as it connects, he is driven back by what feels like a punch to the gut. “Anything my Golden Experience creates reflects damage done to it back onto the person who harmed it,” Giorno explains. Jotaro shoot him a glare but he quickly recovers from the blow and sends Star Platinum to attack Giorno himself instead. Golden Experience moves to intercept and the two Stands trade blows, testing each other’s strength. Speed wise they seem to fairly close as they duck and weave around but while Golden Experience’s blows are absorbed fairly easily by Star Platinum, a punch to stomach leaves Giorno hunched over in pain.

Mista, having loaded his revolver up, fires several shots at Jotaro to cover Giorno. Star Platinum deflects them away before Sex Pistols can redirect the trajectory but this gives Giorno the opportunity he needs. With a cry of “MUDA” drives a punch into Jotaro’s stomach, imbuing him with life force and sending his consciousness berserk. Mista levels the revolver at Jotaro while his body is paralysed but before he can shoot, he is struck by a barrage of emeralds. Kakyoin, who has managed to wriggle free, has snuck Hierophant Green round behind the pair. Snatching up the gun from the floor Giorno shoots at Kakyoin, who calls back his Stand to intercept. However, as it goes to grab the bullet it transforms into a scorpion, twisting out of the way of the tentacles and landing right on Kakyoin’s face. It digs in its pinchers and stabs Kakyoin in the eye with its stinger and he yells out, brushing it off of him and covering his face with his hands.

As the scorpion falls it turns back into a bullet and Number Five, who had been waiting nearby, swoops in and kicks the bullet right into the back of Kakyoin’s head, splattering his brains over the factory floor. Jotaro, having recovered from the life shot, takes one look at the lifeless body of his friend and looks at Giorno with murder in his eyes. Star Platinum picks up a nearby forklift truck and hurls it at Giorno who rolls out of the way, the truck smashing through the far wall. The car Giorno arrived in is the next to be thrown and it too just narrowly sails past him. More and more heavy objects are thrown at the teenager who manages to avoid them narrowly each time until there is nothing heavy left in the factory to throw.

“You need to work on your aim,” Giorno says out of breath.

“Who said I was aiming for you?” Jotaro retorts. Giorno looks at him confused and then looks around at all the carnage caused by what Star Platinum had thrown at him. He realises that most of the support structures for the factory have been destroyed or bent wildly out of shape and the factory itself starts to sway and buckle under the pressure as Jotaro uses Star Platinum to launch himself through the air to safety. Giorno rushes over to where Mista is lying prone and begins furiously punching the floor with Golden Experience. As pieces of the floor break off, he transforms them into a thick branches which cover the pair, shielding them from the falling debris as the factory collapses around them. Once he is sure the danger has passed the branches start to wilt and wither away, leaving the two in a perfectly clear circle surrounded by broken building.

Giorno looks around for Jotaro but he can’t seem to find him anywhere. Turning his attention to Mista he checks his pulse and to his relief he is still alive. Picking up small pieces of debris he uses Golden Experience to mould them into the body parts he needs to heal up Mista’s wounds.

Jotaro watches Giorno healing Mista from a nearby rooftop with Star Platinum’s super eyesight. He clenches his fist in anger at seeing the pair alive and every fibre of his body is telling him to go over and finish the job. However, the rational part of him knows that doing something reckless, against Stands he doesn’t fully understand, with no back-up, is not a wise move. He knows he has to find the Old Man, Polnareff and Avdol so they can figure out a plan. His thoughts wander to Kakyoin and anger flares up in him again as he realises, he’s going to have to leave his body here buried under the rubble. “I’ll come back for you my friend,” he says quietly before heading off to find Joseph and the others.  

The Hermit’s Sticky Fingers[]

Joseph begins to realise that chasing after the fleeing enemy was probably not the best idea. Not only has he lost track of the person he was chasing but he’s also lost his bearings and has no idea where he is. Using Hermit Purple, he creates a map from the dust in the streets to give himself a picture of the general area which marks off where he and Polnareff were originally attacked. Memorising the route, he looks around for the first road he has to go down and is surprised to find the man he was pursuing leaning against a nearby wall. “I hear you’ve been asking about me,” he says.

“Ah. So, you must be the famous Bruno Bucciarati I’ve been hearing about. The people around here have nothing but good things to say about you. Not what I was expecting to hear about a mobster if I’m honest.”

“You’re here to find out about the Boss aren’t you.”

“I am.”

“Then you must be eliminated.” Bruno leans further into the wall, revealing the zipper he had already placed. Disappearing in the void he leaves Joseph standing alone. He tenses himself ready for an attack and sure enough Bruno bursts up through the ground, Sticky Fingers swinging a punch right at Joseph’s leg. The purple vines of Hermit Purple spring forth from Joseph’s right arm and intercepts the punch before it can connect and he drags the Stand out of the zip. Bruno follows through by sweeping his legs at Joseph’s legs, taking his legs out from under him and making him fall flat on his ass. Rolling across the ground as more punches are sent towards him, Joseph uses Hermit Purple to hoist himself up via a nearby drainpipe.

Swinging around it like Tarzan he builds up the momentum for a Hamon infused kick. Sticky Fingers leaps forth and intercepts the attack but this is exactly what Joseph was hoping for and a trail of vines slither around the Stand and latch onto Bruno’s neck, tightening to choke him. Thinking fast Bruno unzips his neck from his body, slipping out of the vines grasp. Grabbing his head under his arm he has Sticky Fingers grab hold of the vines and yank them down hard, slamming Joseph into the ground. Quickly reattaching his head, he throws another punch while his opponent is down which the American tries to shift away from. Sticky Fingers’ knuckle grazes his left arm just above the elbow but it is enough to create a zipper and Joseph’s arm plops onto the ground.

“HOREY SHIT” he shouts in shock at the sight of his detached arm. As Bruno advances on him he backpedals away desperately, tripping over his own feet and scrambling away on his back until he is backed up against a wall. “No please leave me alone,” he screams desperately, Hermit Purple thrashing about violently. Sticky Fingers batters away the vines easily and Bruno looms over him “I can give you anything,” Joseph pleads. “I’m rich I can give you as much money as you want, just please let me live.”

“No amount of money could buy my loyalty.”

“I’m just an old man, what harm can I do, I swear I won’t bother you anymore.”

“I told you no. You made your decision when you decided to look into Passione. At least try dying with some dignity.”

“Can't say I didn't offer you a way out…” Bruno feels a fist smash into the side of his face, following by a sharp tingling sensation which sends him hurtling through the air. Landing hard, he looks up in shock and sees that Hermit Purple has attached itself to Joseph’s detached arm and is crackling with yellow energy. “You know when I got my mechanical hand, I made sure that it was made from material that could conduct Hamon,” Joseph explains. “You were so busy stopping Hermit Purple from hitting you that you didn’t notice it latch onto my arm. Infusing it with Hamon was fairly simple after that.” Bruno tries to move but his body is seized up from all the Hamon coursing through it. Yelling in defiance he sends forth Sticky Fingers, detaching it’s arm with a zipper and throwing it at Joseph.

“I thought you might try something sneaky like that,” Joseph says and Hermit Purple retracts back, still holding his arm. Holding it in place he blocks the punch at the zipped off joint which creates another zipper. He quickly pulls the zip cord around, reattaching his arm. Using Hermit Purple to trap Sticky Fingers’ arm he rushes forward and with a cry of “HAMON OVERDRIVE” he delivers a powerful kick to Bruno’s head, sending the Italian slumped to the ground. Satisfied that the threat is dealt with, Joseph takes a moment to regain his breath after all the exertion of the fight.He checks the dust map Hermit Purple made earlier, which had miraculously stayed in tack despite the fight, to refresh his memory of the route. Hoisting Bruno’s unconscious body over his shoulder, he heads off to find Polnareff.

A Fool’s Errand[]

Iggy roots around in the garbage looking for food anybody has thrown out. “The only thing I’ve found today is that half rotten meat,” he thinks. “And all that trouble I had to go through just to get that.” Thinking back to the incident he wonders why he even bothered to save Polnareff in the first place. He doesn’t make a habit of saving morons but that Stand user he was fighting could’ve been a problem later down the line. Polnareff had suggested they stick together in case another Stand user attacks but Iggy could see not benefit in that. “No Stand users are going to bother me if they think I’m just a normal dog. And besides that, idiot always running into trouble I’m safer on my own.” Leaving the trash cans behind he decides instead to try and steal some food from a restaurant or something. “At least that’ll be fresh,” he thinks.

Just at that moment his noses picks up the scent of scorched meat. However, something is off about it, the scent is foul and is moving. Curious, Iggy follows his nose until he finds source. The smell is coming from a short, wiry teenager with messy black hair who is walking uneasily. Iggy notices that one of his arms has been badly burnt and that is what is causing the odour. “How’d he manage to do that,” Iggy ponders but curiosity satisfied he is about to leave when the hairs stand up on the back of his neck as a thought pops into his head. “Avdol could burn things with his Stand.” He looks back at the teenager. “Could this kid be a Stand user and had a run in with Avdol? If so where is Avdol now?” Iggy remembers the last time he saw Avdol was down near the docks, before he got bored and wandered off. Leaving the kid with the burnt arm behind, he retraces his steps back through the city, eventually finding himself near the boat hire shop.

A sudden smell of rotting flesh assaults his senses and it takes all of his effort not to throw up. Looking around for the source he is horrified to see two rotting corpses just sitting in the middle of the street. The red robes and bangles identify the first body as Avdol’s but he has no idea who the other body belongs to. “What sort of Stand could do this to a person,” Iggy thinks. Now certain that the kid he saw had encountered Avdol, Iggy ponders what his next move should be. “Whatever Stand that kid has it’s too dangerous to fight on my own. But why should I be fighting anyway. This has nothing to do with me, I didn’t want to come on this stupid mission.”

“I thought there was something strange,” comes a voice from behind him. Iggy spins around to find the kid with the burnt arm stood behind him. “I wondered why some random dog was staring at my arm,” Narancia continues. “Then I remembered. In the picture, the men we’re looking for, they had a dog with them as well. So, I decided to follow you and see where you went. And where do you lead me? Back to the docks, back to where my friend died. And so, I wonder? Are you a Stand user as well little doggy?” A whirring noises catches Iggy’s attention and he looks above to see a small toy plane flying above.

“So, you are a Stand user then. And you must know the man we fought, the one who caused my friend Fugo to sacrifice himself to save me. Which means I’M GOING TO BLOW YOU TO PIECES YOU LITTLE BASTARD,” Narancia says finally revealing his anger. Aerosmith divebombs suddenly and starts shooting. Iggy forms a protective barrier with the Fool and the bullets sink harmlessly into the sand. Reforming into its standard dog form it lunges at Narancia with teeth and claws bared. He backs up as the paws swipe at him. He brings Aerosmith back around and shoots at the Fool but the bullets simply punch through without doing significant damage. Changing tactics, he instead has Aerosmith swoop down and use its propellers as a weapon. This is more successful and as it slices through the Fool’s extending paw the sand that formed it falls in clumps to the ground, harmless.

He continues using the propellers to slice through the Fool’s form until eventually it dissipates into lifeless sand. Focusing back on Iggy another barrage of bullet is sent his way but again Iggy uses the Fool to shield himself. Aerosmith arc upwards, dropping it’s bomb so that it hits the Fool’s sand shield head on, blasting a hole in it which it can then fire bullets through. Many of the bullets ping into the ground but several of them score hits on Iggy. Yelping in pain, he explodes the Fool outwards, creating a massive blast of sand right at Narancia. “I have to out of here” Iggy thinks and flees.

Narancia wipes the sand out of his eyes to find his opponent has disappeared. “You’re not getting away that easily,” he says angrily and checks Aerosmith’s radar. He can see a small red dot moving rapidly away from him and chases after it. It leads him through the winding streets and he begins to recognise the surroundings as the streets where he grew up. As the dot moves into one alleyway in particular Narancia smiles, knowing that alleyway to be a dead end. As he rounds the corner the dot on the radar has stopped and looking around, Narancia can the dot is right where a dumpster is sitting. “Nice try but you can’t hide from Aerosmith” he thinks but before he can send it to shoot under the dumpster Iggy drops from above him suddenly. He starts ripping and tearing at his hair and face while Narancia flails about. Aerosmith hovers around him but he dare not fire as the Stand’s lack of accuracy means he’s just as likely to hit himself as Iggy.

After a brief struggle he manages to throw Iggy to the ground and immediately Aerosmith starts firing, blasting the Boston Terrier full of holes. However rather than spilling blood all over the ground sand instead drops out and Narancia watches as Iggy dissipates into sand. “What the hell” Narancia says confused and at that moment he realises that the dot never moved from it’s original position, the dog that attacked him was in fact an illusion made of sand. A shadow looms over him from behind and as he turns a powerful blows smashes through his collarbone. Crying out in pain another blow gashes open his stomach, spilling his guts over the floor. Collapsing to the ground the last thing he sees is the Fool’s normal form raising his paw in the air before smashing it down on his head.

Iggy crawls out from under the dumpster. Barely giving a second glance to the body of his opponent he checks himself to see what the damage is. Fortunately, it seems as if the damage from the bullets is minimal, only a few shallow wounds. “Hey Iggy,” someone says and when he looks up, he sees Jotaro stood at the entrance to the alleyway. “Ran into a Stand user, did you?” he says, a statement more than a question. He looks at the body of Narancia and back to Iggy who just looks at him blankly. “Where is Avdol, weren’t you supposed to be staying with him?” At the mention of Avdol, Iggy looks at the ground.

“What are you asking me for, I can’t speak. And even if I could you wouldn’t like the answer,” he thinks, rubbing his paw anxiously on the floor.

Jotaro looks at him for what seems like an eternity “I see,” he says quietly, almost like he’s read Iggy’s mind. “In which case we need to find the others. Can you find Polnareff and the Old Man?” Iggy thinks about it for a moment. “It’s not my job to act as a tracker for you. I didn’t even want to be here. But then again I don’t really want to run into another Stand user alone.” Making his decision he sniffs the air and catches the scent of Polnareff, who is nearby and by the strong smell of sweat is probably in some sort of trouble. Trotting off in the direction of the smell, Jotaro follows behind.

Stardust Caught in a Golden Wind[]

“I’m starting to think the others might have a point,” Polnareff thinks as another bullet whizzes past his head. “First me and Mr Joestar get ambushed, then I get attacked in an alleyway and now I run into two Stand users by myself.” Silver Chariot slices through the bullet as it ricochets back towards him and takes a swipe at Number One as it floats away out of range. A punch from Golden Experience bounces harmlessly off it’s armour and Polnareff responds with a series of lightning fast jabs but the Stand has already moved out of range. Mista fires his last bullet, this time with all six of the pistols riding on it. Silver Chariot swings it’s sword ready to slice the bullet in half but before it can the Pistols kick the bullet, splitting it into six pieces which all slide past the blade, hitting Polnareff in the chest. While not as a damaging as a regular bullet it is enough to stagger him and he feels something whip his legs out from underneath him.

A tree root has burst forth and he notices that Golden Experience had punched a hole through the ground. It wraps itself around his body like rope and before turning back into it’s original form, a water pipe, trapping him. Mista, who has now reloaded, levels the revolver at his head. “Now before we kill you, I have one question for you. Where are the others?”

“If you’re going to kill me anyway what’s the point? Not like I’d tell you anyway,” Polnareff says angrily. “Because you can either die quickly from a bullet to the head or die slowly and painfully from snake venom,” Giorno says holding up a viper in his hand. Polnareff looks nervously at the serpent but his panic is abruptly replaced by a smile.

“Okay then fine I’ll tell you. They’re right behind you.” Mista is suddenly thrown off his feet as a wave of sand crashes into him. It forms up into the Fool and snarls, lunging at Giorno who uses Golden Experience to defend himself from the vicious attack. Suddenly a powerful punch hits him in the side, sending him flying through the air. Jotaro goes after him, leaving Polnareff and Iggy to deal with Mista who has recovered from the surprise of the Fool’s attack. Swinging his revolver around he fires off the rest of his bullets, three at Iggy and three at Polnareff. Iggy blocks them easily with the Fool but Sex Pistols all crowd around him, carrying more bullets. He realises the ruse too late and all six of them kick their bullets into him.

“IGGY!” Polnareff screams in anguish, having sliced his way out of his restraints. He throws himself at Mista with reckless abandon, Silver Chariot’s sword swinging. Mista quickly flicks his head down and spare bullets drop out, four of which he manages to get into the revolver’s chamber. He fires quickly but, in his haste, all four miss the mark. The pistols are there ready to kick them back at Polnareff but Silver Chariot’s armour explodes off suddenly. It’s sword flashes around, much too fast for the Pistols to react too and slices through numbers one, two, three and five. Wounds open up over Mista’s body and he collapses to his knees.

Number Six looks on in horror but Number Seven manages to keep his composure and kicks one of the bullets right at Polnareff’s head. However Silver Chariot is much to fast now without it’s armour and the bullet deflects off it’s sword, pinging off into the distance. Turning his attention back to Mista, he rams the blade through his head, killing him instantly. With the enemy dead he rushes over to Iggy but he has already succumbed to his bullet wounds. “You were a shitty little mutt alright. But you were our shitty little mutt,” he says quietly, wiping the tears from his eyes before emotion threatens to overcome him.

Meanwhile Jotaro and Giorno face each other the next street over, taking a momentary breather from their fight. Jotaro analyses his opponent, his breathing is laboured and clutching his side, suggesting the punch he hit him with earlier has broken a rib or two. His Stand is stood in a defensive position right in front of him waiting for him to make the next move. Jotaro obliges, sending Star Platinum forth to deliver a punch which Golden Experience move’s it’s arms to block. This was merely a feint however and with a cry of “STAR FINGER” it’s middle and index finger shoot forward, catching Giorno under the jaw, the force being enough to rock his head back. As he stumbles away, he swings wildly with his Stand but his erratic blows are easily avoided.

Jotaro moves in to finish him off only for a hissing sound to catch his attention. He turns his head to see a snake which lunges for him and Star Platinum just about manages to grab it in time. He is about to crush the life out of it when he remembers how attacking the vine reflected the damage back onto him. Holding the snake at arm’s length while it thrashes about, he tries to figure out a way to kill the creature without harming himself. He doesn’t get very long however as Giorno uses the distraction to launch an attack of his own. “MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA” he cries as Golden Experience throws a barrage of punches. Thinking quickly Jotaro flings the snake at Giorno, hoping that he’ll attack it and get the damage reflected back onto him. However, before it can touch him it transforms back into it’s original form, a brick, which is broken into pieces by the barrage.

Using his Stand to defend himself Jotaro waits for Giorno to tire before springing into action. Star Platinum grabs both of Golden Experience’s hands mid punch and wrenches hard, hearing the bones snapping audibly. Giorno cries out in pain and Star Platinum follow up by slamming a punch into Golden Experience, right in the location of Giorno’s injured ribs. They splinter back into the body, causing even more damage and leaving Giorno coughing up blood. “Muda,” Jotaro says suddenly. “A long long time ago I fought a man, well if you could call him a man, who was fond of that phrase. Come to think of it, you look quite similar to him.” Despite the pain Giorno looks up at him curiously. “I never knew my father,” he says stiffly.

“Well you wouldn’t. Not if your father was that man. But for whatever reason it is that you’re fond of that phrase let me tell you something. The only thing that is truly Muda is standing against me.” With one final punch Star Platinum crushes Giorno’s skull, ending his dream of being a Gangstar once and for all. Jotaro feels a chill breeze and looks up to the sky. “That was for you my friend” he says. Polnareff rushes out from around the corner, visibly relaxing when he sees Jotaro is alright.

“The guy with the gun is dead. I came to find you to see if you needed any help.” He looks at Giorno’s body. “Looks like you didn’t.”

“Hey Jotaro! Polnareff!” They both look to see Joseph walking towards them, carrying someone over his shoulder.

“Mr Joestar!” Polnareff says. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Taking care of this Bruno Bucciarati fellow,” he replies. When he reaches them, he drops Bruno’s unconscious form on the ground. He too notices Giorno’s body. “Looks like you two have been busy.”

“You could say that.”

“Where are the others anyway?” Polnareff’s head dips to the floor and even Jotaro looks uncomfortable. “Iggy didn’t make it,” Polnareff says quietly.

“Kakyoin neither.” Jotaro adds.

“And Avdol.”

“We’ve not seen him. But when I found Iggy, he was alone. Even though he’s only a dog I could tell something was wrong,” Jotaro says.

“I see,” Joseph says his voice quivering slightly. The three men stand in silence for a moment. “However, this is not time for grieving. We have to get Bruno Bucciarati back to the Speedwagon Foundation for questioning.” He looks down to find that Bruno has disappeared. “OH MY GOD” he screams. Jotaro and Polnareff both look down as well.

“What the hell. Where did he go?”

“His Stand power is create zippers,” Joseph explains. “He can use them to move about so he must’ve created one while we were distracted. Be vigilant, he’s not to be underestimated.” The three of them ready themselves for an attack but after several tense minutes no such attack happens.

“Could he have just run off?” Polnareff asks.

“Maybe. Although he didn’t strike me as somebody who gives up easily.” Joseph glances at Polnareff and sees Bruno rise up above him. “POLNAREFF, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU,” he shouts in warning but before the Frenchman can react, Sticky Fingers punches him in the neck, unzipping his head from his body. Jotaro sends Star Platinum forth to defend his friend but Bruno pulls Polnareff’s body downwards, into another zipper which he had created on the ground which closes behind him. “OH NO,” Joseph screams. Jotaro carefully picks up Polnareff’s head from the ground, his eyes dull and glazed over. “Is he alive?” Joseph asks and Jotaro shakes his head slowly, confirming his worst fears. Something drops onto his hat, followed by something else, and something else after that. One of the objects drops onto the floor and he is shocked to see it is Polnareff’s severed hand. Looking up for the source his face curls up in disgust, horror and fear as parts of Polnareff’s body come spilling out of a zipper on the roof above them.

“This guy is one sick bastard,” Jotaro says. He glances movement out of the corner of his eye and Star Platinum rushes to intercept blocking a punch from Sticky Fingers. A zipper opens up on Star Platinum’s arm and it plops onto the floor, Jotaro’s own arm doing the same. “ARI ARI ARI ARI” Bruno shouts as his Stand punches Star Platinum multiple times, opening up zippers all over his body. Jotaro’s legs disconnect and he falls down flat on his face, a zipper splitting it open between the eyes. Bruno turns his attention to Joseph who sends forth several vines to ensnare him. They wrap around Sticky Finger’s body, squeezing tight but this is exactly what Bruno was expecting. Wrapping Sticky Fingers’ around the vines he drags Joseph towards him, driving a kick into his face when he gets within range.

As the vines loosen, he is able to move once again and he punches Joseph in the face, again and again and again, each punch stronger than the last. He picks him up and flings him through the air, sending him careening into a nearby wall. Joseph groans in pain and Bruno grabs him by the hair and lifts him up to face him. “You will not have a quick death old man. Not after what you did to my team. TO MY FRIENDS” he says his anger showing clearly.

“What about what you and your mobster friends did to my friends?”

“We were under orders; you should’ve known better than to mess with the Boss. Now you’re going to end up dead, like the rest of your sorry little group.”

“Sorry?” Joseph says. “Did you just say I’d be dead like the rest of my group. Either my hearing is getting even worse or you just made a big mistake.” He feels a sudden sharp pain running through his body as Sticky Fingers stamps on Hermit Purple’s vines.

“You’re not going to fool me again with your tricks,” Bruno says. “Although I was expecting something other than exactly what you did last time.”

“Well my mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be,” Joseph admits. “But when I said you’d made a big mistake I was talking about underestimating me.”

“Oh really. Well then what were you talking about?”

“You said the rest of my group was dead. Well I think you’ll find my grandson has something to say about that.” Bruno looks at him confused and then it dawns on him. He turns to look at Jotaro just as his arm slams into his face at high speed, shattering his jaw from the impact. Jotaro lays propped up on his elbow, having used Star Platinum to throw his detached arm. “Nice throw Jotaro!” Joseph shouts.

“Yeah, yeah. Are you going to get me fixed up now or what?”

“Oh yes sorry.” He uses Hermit Purple to ensnare Sticky Fingers’ arms, dragging it over to where Jotaro is lying. Controlling it like a marionette, he brushes it’s fists against Jotaro’s detached legs and arm, creating a zipper which Jotaro uses to reattach them back to his body. He then zips up the zippers bisecting his face and torso. Now that Jotaro is patched up again the pair turn their attention to their enemy, who is writing in agony. “I think you should deal with our friend over there,” Joseph says.

“I will old man.” Jotaro walks over to Bruno who tries to escape into another zipper. “ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA” Star Platinum shouts as it hits Bruno with a barrage of punches. With one final “ORA” it launches him in the air and his broken body falls to the ground. The zippers on his body turn to dust and Jotaro breathes a sigh of relief.

“Did you like my little distraction Jotaro?” Joseph says as he approaches.

“That was a distraction? I thought you were really just going senile?”

“Oi. That’s no way to speak to your grandfather is it Jotaro?” A silence descends on the pair.

“What are we going to do with the others?” Jotaro asks.

“We’ll give them a proper burial, don’t you worry,” Joseph says clapping his hand on his shoulder. “Once we get back to the hotel, I’ll get the Speedwagon foundation to come and collect their bodies. As well as our little friend here,” he continues pointing at Bruno.

“Was this really worth it old man? Was it worth losing all our friends just to catch a mob boss?”

“I don’t know Jotaro,” Joseph says sadly. “What I do know is that now we definitely have to stop him. Not just for Italy but to avenge Avdol, Kakyoin, Iggy and Polnareff.” Jotaro nods his head in approval. The two Joestar men walk off, united in their grief, as a golden sun beats down upon them.

The Phone Call[]

“Oh, kid sorry I didn’t see you there,” says the man as he bumps into teenager, knocking his bag over and spilling it’s contents on the floor.

“No, no, no it’s okay I wasn’t looking where I was going,” The teenager starts to pick up the objects and the man bends over to help him. “It’s okay I can do it myself,” the teenager continues.

“You sure, I don’t mi-”

“DOOOORURURURURURURURUR” The man looks at the teenager who has got a spaced out look on his face.

“Sorry did you just say some-”



“Hey mister can you hear a phone going off somewhere?” the teenager asks.

“What the hell are you talking abo-”

“DOOOORURURURURURURURUR. Where is that damn phone?” the teenager continues frantically scanning the floor. “DOOOORURURURURURURURUR. Ah there it is.” He picks up his wallet from the floor and holds it up to his ear. “Hello?” The man slowly backs away from the strange kid with the pink hair and purple sweater.

“Doppio, it’s me,” comes the voice from the other end.

“Ah Boss. What are you calling about?”

“Bruno Bucciarati has failed me Doppio.”

“What,” Doppio says shocked. “How could Bucciarati fail us, he’s one of our most reliable Capos?”

“The enemies he had to face were too strong for him. And soon they’ll come looking for me.”

“Oh no! What are we going to do Boss?” Doppio says panicking “First the assassination team betrayed us and now Bucciarati and his gang are gone. What are we to do?”

“Don’t worry Doppio. I’ll deal with these men myself.”

“You? But does that mean? Are you here now Boss”?

“Yes Doppio. I’m nearby, watching over you. Do you see those two men over there?” Doppio looks around and spots two men walking together.

“The tall guys? One dressed in black and the other in some Indiana Jones style get-up?”

“That’s them. They’re the two men who defeated Bucciarati!” The Boss says.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I need you to follow them, get as close to them as possible and when they’re alone I’ll come and deal with them. Do you understand Doppio?”

“Yes Boss.”

“Good. I know I can always count on you my sweet Doppio.” With that the boss hangs up. Doppio takes the wallet away from his ear. He hurriedly stuffs his belongings back into his bag and hurries off after the two men, the Boss’ instructions ringing through his head. Winner: Stardust Crusaders

Expert’s Opinion[]

Most voters agreed that the reason for the Stardust Crusaders victory was the more combat orientated abilities of their Stands. The Golden Gangsters’ Stands were more unorthodox in their usage and this didn’t necessarily translate well to a straight up fight like the Crusaders’ did. While they did know each other for longer and worked together more frequently this didn’t make all that much of a difference in this fight because the Crusaders got on well too. The Crusaders’ greater experience also played a part, with most of them having Stands since birth and being older to boot.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

Battle vs MI-13 (by BeastMan14)[]


To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Expert's Opinion[]