Deadliest Fiction Wiki

Any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly armed.
— "Mad" Jack Churchill
If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years.
— Churchill on the end of World War 2

A graduate of the Sandhurst Military College, John Malcolm Thorpe Fleming "Jack" Churchill, nicknamed Mad Jack and Fighting Jack Churchill, had represented Britain in the 1939 World Archery Championship, ridden a motorcycle across India, and was serving his second tour of duty in the British Army by the time World War II broke out. Assigned to the British Expeditionary Force, Jack led raids against the Wehrmacht in the Battle of France armed with a claybeg broadsword and an English longbow in addition to the standard British weapons. Winning the Military Cross for his actions, Jack was recruited into the British Commandos for operations behind German lines.

Leading the Commandos to victory against incredible odds at Måløy, Salerno, and Pigoletti, Jack was always the first into battle, frequently playing bagpipes to keep up the morale of his men. At Pigoletti, Jack single-handedly took 42 German prisoners armed only with his sword. Though captured after a mission on the island of Brac and imprisoned in Dachau, Jack managed to escape and make his way through enemy lines back to friendly territory. Surviving the war, Jack also served in Israel's wars of independence, once defending an Israeli medical convoy from an ambush while still in full military dress uniform.

Battle vs. Hiroo Onoda (by SPARTAN 119)[]

  • "Mad" Jack Churchill": Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue
  • Hiroo Onoda: Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred Darkred

1946, Alternate Universe where the invasion of Japan took place, Izu Peninsula, Japan

Jack Churchill and five British commandos ran out of a landing craft on the Japanese coast under cover of darkness, and ran forward, Jack in the lead. Jack crept up on a defensive position where Hiroo Onoda and five other Japanese soldiers lay in wait.

Jack Churchill taped a Mills Bomb to the side of an arrow and strung it in his longbow, drawing the bow back. "Williams", Churchill ordered, "Pull the pin".

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Sir?", the soldier named Williams whispered in response.

"Just pull the damn pin", Jack responded.

Williams pulled the pin of the grenade, and Jack released the arrow. The arrow hit a Japanese private in the chest, and seconds later, the grenade exploded, vaporizing the private's torso and killing another Japanese soldier next to him. Darkred Darkred

"We're under attack!", Onoda yelled in Japanese, as Churchill's men fired. One of Onoda's men fired an Arisaka rifle, killing one of Churchill's men Blue, as Onoda himself tossed a grenade, which landed next to a British soldier, killing him. Blue

Jack ran forward, sword in one hand and Sten SMG in the other, as his other men surged forward with Lee-Enfield rifles and Sten SMGs. A British soldier with a Lee-Enfield picked off a Japanese soldier. Darkred However, the British infantryman was cut down by a burst of rounds from a Japanese Type 100 SMG. Blue

A British commando to Jack's left fired his Sten at the Japanese soldier who killed his comrade, scoring multiple hits to the torso, mowing down the Japanese infantryman. Darkred. Onoda himself raised his rifle and shot one of the British commandos. Blue

Churchill steadied his Sten while still holding on his sword, firing a burst of rounds at Onoda, missing and driving him into a concrete pill box as the soldier named Williams fired his Lee-Enfield, taking out Onoda's last remaining soldier. Darkred

As Jack and Williams walked up to the bunker, Onoda ran out of the bunker, yelling "BANZAI!!!", with his sword drawn. Onoda thrust his Shin Gunto sword through William's chest, killing him in spray of blood. Blue Onoda then slashed at Churchill, knocking the Sten out of his hand.

Onoda make a second attack, but "Mad" Jack blocked with his claymore. Onoda thrust at Jack, who dodged backwards, and took a swing at Hiroo, who blocked the strike with his Shin Gunto. Onoda raised his sword for a second strike, but left himself open. In that opening, Jack thrust his sword through Onoda's stomach, causing him to fall to the floor in a pool.

Jack turned away, thinking his foe was dead. But Onoda was not. "kono yaro!", Onoda said (if 119 hasn't butchered the Japanese language), "SHINDE!". Yelling something along the lines of "Die, you bastard!!", Onoda drew his pistol with the last of his strength and fired. However, in his state, delerious from pain and light headed from blood loss, Onoda missed his first shot.

Jack turned around and drew his Webley revolver and fired three shots into Onoda, killing him outright. Darkred

WINNER: Jack Churchill

Expert's Opinion[]

Churchill prevailed in this battle because of his superior commando training. While he had spent less time in service than Onoda, Jack fought much more dangerous adversaries much more frequently. Churchill's superior weapons also contributed to his victory.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Ramon Magsaysay (by LokoDito)[]

No battle written.


Expert's Opinion[]

The outcome of this battle was highly dependent upon the terrain, and could have swung the battle either way. However, despite Jack's feats and skill as a commando, Ramon Magsaysay prevailed because of his greater combat experience as well as skill as a guerrilla fighter and battle-trained and -hardened soldier. That, along with the greater reliability of his weapons, won him the day.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.