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Mother fuck! ... What does a brother have to do to pacify a bitch!? I'm telling you G, I've tried my best with her. God, be my witness! I have shown respect, charm, under-fucking-standing. But that is the last fuckin' straw!
— Isaac Washington on Varla Guns

Detective Isaac Washington is one of the main protagonists and playable characters of The House of the Dead: Overkill. Out to avenge the murder of his father at the hands of Papa Caesar.

Detective Washington also appears to be on a one-man crusade to make House of the Dead: Overkill the most violent and foul-filled game in the history of gaming.

He is extremely rude, foul-mouthed, and trigger-happy, punching a government agent within seconds of meeting him, and loves the "f-bomb" expletive, using it practically for every other word. He often threatens people with ripping their pussy/dick off, even if they have a lack of it. His pride is his (short-lived) car and in his music and hates philosophy.

Battle vs. Niko Bellic (by Wassboss)[]

Warning- This battle contains a lot of bad language as both these characters especially issac washington swear a lot with issac being unable to go 5 seconds without dropping and F-Bomb.

Niko Bellic is walking through the streets of New York looking for a car to “borrow” from its owner. He spots a small red car parked badly on the kerb. Smiling too himself he smashes the window and joy rides the car. He starts it up and cruises around the city, window down, looking for a strip club. Suddenly a man shouts from across the street “Hey Mother Fucker what the fuck are you doing with my mother fucking car”. Niko just ignores him and carries on driving. “Don’t you fucking ignore me mother fucker” shouts Isaac Washington fuming with rage and pulling out a Minigun and opening fire on the car. Niko is unable to control the car as it swerves wildly out of control, knocking over several people in the process. It dose several flips before crashing into a wall.

“Mother fucker look what you did to my mother fucking car” say issac getting more and more angry. Niko pulls himself out of the wreckage and shouts at issac “What the fuck man why did you just do that”. “You stole my mother fucking car” say issac fuming with rage. “Oh get over it” say niko pulling out his shotgun “or better yet let me do it for you”. “Fine by me mother fucker” say issac pulling out his own automatic shotgun. They walk towards each other slowly, like the cowboys of old. They stop a few meters from each other and size each other up. For several long tantalising minutes they both stand there looking at one another. The wind stops blowing, the cars stop moving and every little noise in universe is silent as the two adversaries clutch their guns.

Issac makes the first move firing several shots at niko, which niko narrowly dodges by jumping behind a parked car. “Take that mother fucker” say issac as he pumps more round into the parked car, the alarm shrieking through the streets of New York. Niko waits till he hears issac reloading then pops up and fires a single shot, obliterating the barrel rendering the gun useless. “You mother fucking piece of shit” says issac as he himself is forced to leap for cover. Niko, instead of firing his shotgun wildly into the car like issac, creeps round the side of the car. He slides over the bonnet of the car and fires at the now bare ground. “What the hell” says niko scratching his head in confusion. He hears the sound of a footstep on gravel and hits the floor as a bullet shatters the side mirror. “Fuck” says issac pistol in hand. “just ain’t your day is it” say niko firing at issac. Issac jumps to the side “Fuck you” he says and fires two shots one hitting the car behind and the other rendering the shotgun useless. “Well done” says niko sarcastically pulling out his pistol “The monkey pulled the trigger”. Issac fires wildly at niko but niko has already got behind cover. “Come out mother fucker” say issac pointing his gun at the car niko just went behind. Niko jumps up and shoots and hits issac in the shoulder before ducking back down again. “What the fuck” says issac surprised at niko accuracy. He then pulls out grenade and throws it at over the car niko is hiding behind.

The grenade lands next to niko and he jumps out of the way narrowly avoiding the blast. He fires again at issac before running into a nearby building and taking cover behind the front desk. Suddenly his phone rings. Keeping his gun pointed at the door he presses the button. “Hello”. “Niko” say an all too familiar voice “It’s me roman wanna go bowling”. “Not now roman I’m busy” says niko keeping his eyes on the door. “Yes he is” says a voice behind him. Niko turns round and find his self staring down the barrel of a pistol. “Drop the mother fucking gun and the mother fucking phone” says issac smiling. Niko does what he says. “Cousin what’s happening” say roman his voice high pitched and scared. “He’s occupied at the moment mother fucker” says issac laughing before stepping on the phone crushing it. Niko sees his chance and punches issac in the stomach making him drop the gun. He then punches him in the face followed by a vicious uppercut which sends issac stumbling back. “Your gonna die mother fucker” say issac clutching his jaw. “No” says niko picking up a baseball bat “you are”. Niko swings at issac but he dodges it with ease. He then punches niko in the face and pulls the bat out of his hands. He then smashes niko round the face with it sending him to the floor. Issac raises the bat up high ready to bring it down on niko but is kicked in the leg and drops the bat. “I’m gonna rip your mother fucking balls off” says issac glaring at him. “Yeah whatever” say niko picking up the bat “shut the fuck up and die” he insultingly.

“As mother fucking if” says issac pulling out another pistol “I always keep a spare one”. Niko stands gobsmacked as issac points the gun at his head. “I’m gonna mother fucking enjoy this” he says smiling. He fires but niko puts the bat up in front of his face, somehow managing to deflect the bullet. “What the mother fucking hell” says issac his turn to be gobsmacked. Niko takes this opportunity to run out the building and back to the place where he crashed the car. He opens the undamaged boot revealing an RPG-7. He pulls it out and aims it at the building just as issac steps out of the door. “A mother fucking RPG that’s not mother fucking fair” says issac as niko pulls the trigger sending the grenade flying at issac blowing him to pieces.

Niko puts down the RPG just as Roman turns the corner. “Roman what are you doing here” says niko surprised. “When i heard you were in trouble i went to find you” says roman out of breath “ I saw the car” he says pointing to the wreckage “and thought you must be nearby”. “Well I’m fine now” says niko “some punk thought he could take me on”. “What happened to him” says roman. Niko points to the massive hole in the wall of the building. “Oh” says roman smiling “Introduced too little miss RPG”. “Yeah” say niko putting his hand on roman’s shoulder “How about that bowling game”. They then turn and walk toward the bowling alley”.


Expert's Opinion[]

Niko won because of his better training and because Isaac’s fighting skills were very ammo wasting.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Black Dynamite (by Wassboss)[]

Black Dynamite: Black2Black2Black2Black2Black2

Isaac Washington: BrownBrownBrownBrownBrown

It’s a quiet day in the hood; the coolest cats are chillin’ in their pads with their hottest baby mamas and the kids are playing in the street, enjoying the hot summer days. This serenity is quickly broken as a pair of cars drifts into the neighbourhood and the children watch with interest as a small group of people exit from the cars. However they soon scatter as they spot the cop badges worn around necks or attached to clothing and the men start taking weapons out of the boot of one of the cars. Supervising this mission is Detective Isaac Washington and his usual potty mouth is silent as he watches with scrutiny as weapons are loaded and handed out. He is already armed with his pistols holstered under his armpits and a shotgun slung over his shoulder but he waits patiently until every police officer is armed. “Is everybody fucking ready?” he asks and gets curt nods all-round. “Okay then. Today gentlemen we’re here to take down some motherfucker who calls himself Black Dynamite. Now I don’t need to tell you that this is some serious shit and you can see by the firepower that we’re rocking. I also don’t need to tell you that this ain’t no fucking tickle party and we have the authority to use lethal force to take down this son of a bitch and anyone who stands with him. This is some fucking CIA authorised shit we’re getting ourselves into and we ain’t playing by no motherfucking rules. Does everybody understand?” Once again he gets agreements all-round. He pumps his shotgun and strides over to Black Dynamite’s house, the other officers in tow.

“This is some tight malt liquor you’ve got here Bullhorn” Black Dynamite says taking a sip. He is relaxing in his pad with Bullhorn, Cream Corn and a couple of black militants on the roasting Sunday afternoon.

“Only the best for my comrades in arms, don’t be afraid to drink up it won’t do you no harm,” Bullhorn responds and the other men take a long sip in agreement.

“It’s nice to take a little time away from all the crazy shenanigans in the hood and just get together with some of my closest homies and drink some of this fine ass malt liquor,” Black Dynamite continues. As he’s about to take another sip he spots movement outside his window and shouts a warning just as the door is kicked in a men with guns come bursting in and open fire on the small group. Black Dynamite, Bullhorn and Cream Corn dive behind cover while the two militants draw their revolvers and begin to fire back as the intruders take cover themselves. Black Dynamite catches a glimmer of police badges before checking around and sees the door to the kitchen is just a few feet away. He taps Bullhorn on the shoulder and points and the two dash over as the bullets fly over their heads. There’s a short lull as they reload and this gives Cream Corn the chance to follow them, leaving the two Militants to face the police officers by themselves and it’s not long before they are gunned down in a hail of bullets. Black2Black2

“Who the hell are those cats Black Dynamite” Cream Corn asks as the trio head towards Black Dynamite’s armoury in the garden.

“I don’t know Cream Corn, but they were all wearing police badges,”

“Police Badges? What sort of pigs carry automatic weaponry,”

“I don’t know brother but something tells me they ain’t here with an arrest warrant.” They reach a shed in at the far end of the garden and Black Dynamite busts down the door with a kick. Bullhorn and Cream Corn grab the first weapons they can find; Bullhorn grabbing AR-15 and Cream Corn selecting a sub machine gun. Black Dynamite scours further into the armour to find his trusty Smith and Wesson and grabs a Colt of his own. Slinging the gun strap over his shoulder he picks up the Grenade Launcher off of the wall and attaches it to his AR-15. The three men step out of the armoury just as Washington as his men finish searching the house. Black Dynamite looks down the sights and fires off a grenade. The policemen dive out of the way but one is caught in the blast and torn apart by the shrapnel Brown.

“Motherfucker” Washington shouts and the intensity of the fire increases. Black Dynamite and his crew are pinned down, with little cover on their end they are forced to hide behind trees and the bullets whistle dangerously close to their position and the cops are safely hidden inside of Black Dynamite’s house, with Washington outside and crouched behind a fence. Black Dynamite peeks out from behind his cover and spots one of the policemen reloading, his head just peeking out from underneath the windowsill. He waits for the man to finish and rise before leaping out and firing off several rounds from his AR-15 which drops the man neatly with several shots to the torso Brown. Black Dynamite drops and rolls behind the same tree that Cream Corn is behind and the two men exchange worried glances.

“We’re not going to last much longer if we stay here,” Cream Corn says spraying his gun blindly.

“Damn straight. We need to get somewhere with a bit more cover or else we’re going to end up like some of that fancy ass Swiss cheese,” Black Dynamite says. “Where the hell is Bullhorn?”

“I’m hidden behind this flowery bush,” a voice from behind says “I’ve got barely any cover so we’d better rush.”

Black Dynamite turns his head and sees Bullhorn peering through the bush. “Alright. We’re going to wait until those pigs have finished shooting and then we’re going to make a dash for that fence over there.” Black Dynamite points to a fence a couple of metres away. “We gonna jump over that fence and head over to the alleyway right around the back. That should give us the chance to set up an ambush or at the least get to a place where we have some decent cover.” Cream Corn and Bullhorn nod in agreement and the trio wait patiently until Washington and the other cops guns go silent. “Now you crazy cats” he shouts and the three of them burst out from their respective covers. Bullhorn is the closest and vaults over the fence first, followed quickly by Black Dynamite. Cream Corn puts his hands on the fence and pulls himself up but before he can slip over to the other side he is struck by a shotgun pellet. He drops over the other side of the fence and Washington lowers his Shotgun, cursing. Black Dynamite and Bullhorn rush to Cream Corn’s side as he clutches his chest in agony.

“You have to go on without me” he gasps and passes his gun onto Bullhorn who looks solemnly as his Cream Corn breathes his last breath. Black2

“CREAM CORN” he shouts in anguish and Black Dynamite also dips his head in respect for his fallen comrade.

“This is a sad day for all the righteous brothers out there Bullhorn, but we have to respect his sacrifice and kill these jive ass turkeys.” Bullhorn nods his head in approval and the two leave Cream Corn’s body and head towards the alleyway.

A few minutes later, Isaac Washington and the two remaining cops jump over the fence, having checked vigorously to make sure nobody is waiting on the other side. One of them goes over to Cream Corn’s body and checks for a pulse, nodding to Washington as he doesn’t feel anything. They continue on and find themselves in an alleyway in between two short buildings with a dead end. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this place” Washington says and as he does he catches something out of the corner of his eye. He swivels round and empties his shotgun at the movement but sees that it is only a loose tile. “Fucking Tile” he shouts in anger and reaches for more ammo but finds his pocket empty. “Motherfuck” he shouts again and throws the shotgun on the ground in anger.

“I know you pigs killed Cream Corn” a voice calls out and the men all raise their weapons, but they can’t pinpoint the direction of it. “But now it’s time to face the wrath of Bullhorn!” Bullhorn jumps out from a doorway and sprays bullets from the M3-A1 at the cops. One of them pushes Washington out of the way and takes the full spray, his body juddering as more and more bullets are pumped into himBrown. Washington responds by drawing his Desert Eagles from their shoulder holsters and returns the favour by pumping Bullhorn full of cold hard lead. Black2

Black Dynamite watches from the roof as his closest friend is gunned down, having to physically hold himself back from letting out a cry of anger. He watches as the cop lower his pistols and gesture to the body and another cop checks the body for a pulse. “Where the fuck did that black son of a bitch go” says the shooter and the other cop walks towards him and shrugs. Sensing an opportunity, Black Dynamite sneaks to the edge of the roof and judges the distance before leaping from the roof. He waits until he is just above the two men before kicking his legs out either side of him in a splits motion with a cry of SUEY! The right leg knocks the handguns out of Washington’s hands and sends them skidding away under a nearby dumpster and the left hits the other cop square in the jaw and sends him stumbling. He lands gracefully and his eyes flicker between both opponents before deciding to go for the one who is armed. He leaves Washington to reach around under the dumpster for his guns and storms over to the cop who has recovered from the blow. “SUEY” he shouts again as he punches him across the jaw and takes out his nunchuck with the spare hand. He twirls it around threateningly and whacks the cop on the temple with it then swings it around and wraps it on his knuckles to make him drop his rifle. He then draws his Smith and Wesson and shoots the guy four times in the chest. Brown

He turns back to Washington just as several bullets fly past him and he steadies himself as the misses almost knock him off balance. Washington aiming is way off in his frustration and Black Dynamite has time to properly aim his own gun and shoots Washington’s hand. “Fuck” he shouts and drops his guns, using his spare hand to grasp onto his injured one. Black Dynamite strolls over to him and drops him with a kick to the stomach. He then stamps his foot down on his chest and points the Smith and Wesson right at his head.

“Now normally I don’t like to kill a brother, we have enough to worry about fighting against The Man without having to fight amongst each other. But I cannot forgive you for killing my main men Bullhorn and Cream Corn, no matter what. Now do you have any last words you jive motherfucker” Washington looks up at him with anger and says

“Fuck you, Motherfucker.” Black Dynamite shrugs and shoots him between the eyes with his last bullet Brown. Black Dynamite show his respect to Bullhorn before strutting out of the alleyway as “DY-NO-MITE, DY-NO-MITE!” plays behind him.

Winner: Black Dynamite 

Expert's Opinion[]

While Washington has the superior arsenal and better trained troops the voters agreed that Black Dynamite was the superior all around warrior due to his army and CIA training. While his teammates were pretty easy picking for Washington's police officers, Black Dynamite himself was a whole different picture and was a literal one man army that Isaac Washington just couldn't handle. 

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.