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Horse-sized Arctodus was such a powerful opponent that it may well have delayed human colonization of the New World.
— Land of Lost Monsters, Ted Oakes

In North America during the last Ice Age, a Giant ruled the snows. Its name was Arctodus Simus, The Giant Short Faced Bear. From Texas to Alaska it strolled the frozen world, bullying American lions, Saber and Scimitar Toothed Cats, Dire wolves, and Grizzly Bears from their kills.

It was the ultimate Bully, a being unable to chase down prey without risking breaking its bones during a quick U-turn after their targets, and therefore suited to a life of conflict over food. When it walked on all fours, it reached 5-6 feet tall, and when rearing up, reached 14 feet high. The largest individuals, subspecies Arcotuds Simus Yukonesis, reached 2,205 lbs.

When the first Indians entered the new world, they could not hold their own kills against this beast, which could break into the largest animal bones with its shortened, super-strong jaws (hence the name). Its sense of smell outdid any bears of today, being capable of sensing dead animals ten miles away. It could outrun horses, walk great distances, and with its unusually long limbs had a super long reach with its paws.

This bear was so formidable that even 1200 pounders could slay 2500 Jefferson Ground Sloths in face-to-face paw fights, the only type of predation that this bear was capable of. This Giant died out at the end of the ice age, yet in the minds of many, it is always present, ready to take on more formidable predators in the struggle for life and dinner.

Battle vs. Venator (by El Alamein)[]

The sun shines brightly on the sand of the arena, blazing hot onto the shoulders of the two gladiators who step confidently out into public view. The crowd roars its approval of the champions, a defeaning boom that continues for minutes as the venators raise their weapons high in the air. The Coliseum's fighting pit is littered with the corpses of fallen fighters, and the venatio is a welcome respite from the man-on-man slugfests. Rumors have spread of a new, wild beast unheard of for centuries, captured and brought to the games to thrill and shock the Roman citizens.

A massive iron gate is slowly raised and from the shadows of the chambers within, a massive hairy form slides forth, limp, chained, and defeated. The Giant Short-Faced Bear squints and struggles to its feet as the harsh light and raucous crowd assault its senses, but it is still stunned from its "sedation" at the hands of its captors. The chains are released and the animal escorts dash back to the safety of the gate, which is quickly lowered and slams shut with a clang. The venator nods to the bestiarius and the two circle the bear, sizing up their impressively-sized foe. The bestiarius raises his whip and slaps it across the bear's face, to the approval of the crowd. Backing up, the bestiarius drops his whip and raises his spear at an angle, nodding to the venator. They've rehearsed this show tens of times - the thrill of the hunt is gone, and the fights are now boring routine. 

The venator circles the bear clockwise while the bestiarius does so in the opposite direction. The GSFB is recovering from its concussion, though, and quickly, too. It lets out a confused growl, too low to break throught the crowd. Retreating into the wall of the circular arena, it finds itself closer to the noise and even more frightened, so it stands up on its hind legs (still unable to reach the spectating area) and roars, to the thrill of the public. The bestiarius grows bold and rushes forward, plunging the spear into the exposed underbelly of the GSFB. It promptly falls forward and lands on its paws, the shaft of the spear snapping, leaving the spear-tip buried in its body. The bestiarius discards the useless broken spear and turns to run for his whip. The GSFB lunges forward, paws outstretched, and lands hard on the disarmed gladiator. His armor managed to prevent the claws from slicing through, but the weight is too much and he is crushed under the 1-ton bear. The effects are gruesome - bodily matter spurts out through cracked openings in his armor, blood pooling out from every opening in the bestiarius' broken body. The crowd thunders its approval at the first kill.

The venator dashes to the side as the GSFB charges, still disoriented and dripping blood from its stomach wound. The bear blindly careens past the gladiator and slams into the arena wall, cracking the thick stone. Shaking its head and slightly injured thanks to its now agitated head wound, the bear focuses its vision on the only conceivable source of torment it can fathom - the venator. Bloody saliva drips from its mouth as it roars and makes another charge, only to take a thrown net to the face. The net wasn't especially heavy or thick, but it came unexpected and halted the bear in its tracks as it flailed and raised its paws to its face.

Desperate to take advantage of this moment, the venator dashes forward and drives his spear home, right into the bear's chest. Pushing with all his might, he manages to twist the shaft a few inches into the bear's thick hide, but runs out of strength as the adrenaline wears off. The crowd falls hushed momentarily, leaning forward to watch the coup de grace. Exhausted, the venator can only look up and watch, eyes weary and defeated, as the furious giant short-faced bear lunges forward with an open mouth full of teeth.

Expert's Opinion[]

The venator and bestiarius were no match for the bear, simply because their weapons were too primitive to do any real damage, and their armor wasn't durable enough to hold up against the bear's claws and teeth. Although arena fighting may have disoriented and frightened the bear, a cornered animal is the most dangerous, and it used that fight-or-flight mentality to tear its attackers to shreds.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs Woolly Mammoth (by Red243)[]

The Giant Short-Faced Bear has been walking into Asia territory in search of finding food. It was easier to steal food since the most predators wouldn't even dare take on this Bear. Then Giant Short-Faced Bear had been interested in the baby Woolly Mammoth that it saw as easy prey. However, there were also adult Woolly Mammoths  protecting the babies from other predators.

Short-Faced Bear was going to have to kill the baby without being caught by the adults. The bear tried to walked closer to the baby, but it noticed the Giant Short-Faced Bear, and was calling it's mother for help. The mother responded to the baby's call, and rushed to the baby's side to protect it just in time.

The Giant Short-Faced Bear doesn't want to give up easily especially since he had never eaten in three days. He would had to fight the mother first before he can kill her baby as well, but he had to be careful since the mother has tusks to defend herself. With no other choice, the Short-Faced Bear decided to fight the Woolly Mammoth if he were to get the food he needed for survival.

The Giant Short-Faced Bear stood up on it's back legs to used it's claws for battle, and the Woolly Mammoth was ready to defend itself from the attack. The Mammoth pushed the bear with her tusk, knocking it off it's feet. The bear tried to get up quickly, but the Woolly Mammoth gets up on her back legs, and crushed the bear with her weight. The pressure was too great for the bear to take, and died because of this fight.

The baby hugged its mother once it was no longer in danger from the Giant Short-Faced Bear. Once the danger was over, the two rejoined the safety of herd once more. Then the mother watched her baby play with the other baby Woolly Mammoths from the same herd

Expert's Opinion[]

While the Giant Short-Faced Bear was powerful, the Woolly Mammoth was better at defense than attacking, which allows it to won the day.

To see the original battle, votes, and weapons, click here.

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Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.

Battle vs. Zombies (Romero) (by GSFB)[]

12,000 years ago, in the land of Beringia (modern Alaska), a Giant Short Faced Bear sniffs the air, smelling flesh a few miles away. The bear is puzzled by the smell, a mixture of fresh meat and rotting flesh, with a hint of something h had never smelled before. Puzzled and hungry, the bear gallops to the source.

Upon arriving, he finds 63 zombies trying to bite into a fallen Bison, which had died of old age. The creatures were odd, greenish, resembling humans but smelled and acted far, far differently. Some wore wierd clothing. One of them had a strange cloth over his upper body that had the words "Death before Disco" on them. The beings kept trying to bite into it but the flesh was frozen stiff. The bear, however, knew he was strong enough to bite through, and he stood upright, 14 feet in the air, and roared.

The Zombies stop biting and turn, seeing the enormous animal, listening as it roared again, trying to intimidate them.The souless beings sense fresh meat, and with wide open eyes and mouths, they moan in unison. The horde approaches the bear. 

Giant Short faced Bear: Blue

Zombies: Green X 63

The Bear looks at the Zombies, confused. Usually beasts far, far larger and stronger than these ugly things flee from him , but these things didn't even smell afraid. In fact, they smelled...hungry. Hungry and dead, yet they were moving. The Bear realized that these things were what he was smelling miles away, and he was now hungrier, and more determined than ever to defend his territory and show every critter, other than the Mammoths, who ruled.

The lead Zombies closed in. The Bear backed up a little, then swatted twice.

6 Green

The Bear roared again, and now found himself almost surrounded. Not backing down, he swatted three more times.

9 Green

The Zombies en masse now closed in, biting and clawing. However, their bites and bone fingers had no effect on the bear's thick, furry hide. The bear, happy in a primitive bestial way at the sudden realization of a big, easily won meal, now began swatting in all diirections and biting a few on the chest, neck or head. The bear snarled in suprise as many of the fallen Zombies, though crippled, where still alive. Whenever he could, he swatted the down yet alive undead until they stopped moving.

12 Green

The Zombies kept coming, clawing, biting, moaning, trying to overpower the giant monster through their sheer numbers, yet the more they came, the more were severed in half, decapitated, smashed, or sent flying through the air, some of them still alive yet crippled and useless. Those that lived over the swat and subsequent flight the bear chased down and swattedon the head, having already learned that it was these beings most vulnerable spot.

30 Green

The Giant Short Faced Bear was more savage than ever, foaming at the mouth with rage and hunger. It charged the last six Zombies, crushing them underpaw. Most survived and squirmed on the ground, until the bear turned and, one by one, smashed them with his paws till dead.

6 Green

The Bear, not sensing further Zombies, stood and roared. In the distance, Stephen Colbert, armed with a pink lightsaber, yelled "You'll pay for this bears!" and puffed away in his secret time machine, not getting the bear's notice. Almost smiling, the bear lowered his short maw, beginning to nibble on his prize...

Expert's Opinion[]

The GSFB's larger size, greater strength and endurance, and more powerful attacks gave it an easy win over the zombies.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


Battle was disregarded as unfair for the Giant Short-Faced Bear due to numbers given in the match.

Battle vs. Man-Bat (by GSFB)[]

It had been months since Gorilla Grodd sent all superheroes and almost all supervillians (save for himself) back in time, in different epochs. Months it had been since he became the sole superpowered being of the modern era, and tried to conquer the Earth. Among those he sent back in time was Man-Bat, who now found himself flying above the great Plains at night, hunting for a meal.

He was given enough vials of his bat Serum to last him several months, but he took a large dosage and inevitably remained in bat form permanently. He had managed to survive when others who had been sent back to the ice age, like the Joker, Lex Luthor, and Parasite had met their doom. Man-Bat did not know how many others from his time where there: all he or it knew was that survivial was key, and soon it would grow too cold to hunt: he needed sustenance fast.

As he glided, his echolocation detected a Giant Short Faced bear, chewing on the mutilated remains on an unidentified animal. Man-Bat, desperate for food, decided to fight the bear away from its kill and take its prize, just as it had seen the Bear do on numerous occasions to other predators, such as Saber tooth cats and giant American Lions. Screeching, Man-Bat dived towards the Bear.

The Bear, smelling Man-Bat, reared up and looked to its right, seeing the monster approach. It roared, then swatted with its paw to warn off the flyer, but Man-Bat kept coming, and in one fell swoop slashed the bear in the face. It flew off again, before the Bear could retaliate.

While the Bear rubbed its bloodied face into the permafrost, Man-Bat dived again. As the Bear looked upwards Man-Bat clawed again, this time taking an eye.

The Bear roared in fury as Man-Bat took to the higher air again, and then flew back down. This time however, before Man-Bat could land a blow, the bear roared at him, the noise nearly deafening to Man-Bat's ultra sensitive ears. Rolling over grass and several stones, Man-Bat stopped and shook his head, trying to recover from the roar. He opened his eyes, and caught sight of the bear approaching. It moved before the Bear could hit it with its paw, but the bear charged and tried to land more paw swipes. Man-Bat clawed and snarled, slashing at the bear's limbs and face until the bear was caked in blood. Yet the Bear roared and struck the wings of Man-Bat, smashing the thin bones within. Man-Bat screeched, hurting the Bear's ears. If leaped twice before collapsing, reeling from the pain in its now useless wings. He frantically tried to crawlm away, only to meet a cliff and jagged rocks below. Man-Bat turned, and saw that the Bear was charging, frothing at the mouth. Man-Bat stood up, screeching mightly, but the bear roared back, both combatants hurting in their ears. The Giant short Faced Bear was rearing to leap onto Man-Bat when the latter charged lighting quick to the monster bear and tried to body slam it. Both tumbled over the cliff and fell, the Bear hitting the ground and several rocks during the fall. Man-Bat held on and struck at the gut of the bear, spilling intestines. The two fell over and over again, until they finally struck the bottom of a small ravine.

Man-Bat was knocked out and had a leg broke, but regained consciousness. SHaking its head, Man-Bat turned to the Bear, which smelled of death. The giant did not breathe, didn't move, and Man-Bat heard no heart beat. The Fall had killed it: if it hadn't been for the cliff, the bear would have killed him. Nursing its wounds, Man-Bat screeched loudly, its call echoing across Ice Age Oklahoma.

As Man-Bat turned to the bear, beginning to feed, more of the bear's guts spilled out, including its somach, bloated with whatever the bear had brought down earlier. It two was cut in two, and slowly, out slid the devoured corpse, which was intermingled with a black cape and cowl, the latter sporting a pair of tall, thin, pointed ear-like projections...

Expert's Opinion[]

None written

To see the original battle, votes, and weapons, click here.


Battle was disregarded as unfair for the Giant Short-Faced Bear.