Deadliest Fiction Wiki
Advertisement

Unquestionably, it was going to be highly dangerous. Yet I felt it was quite natural to jump at the task. After all, if you don't like action and excitement, you don't go into police work. And, what the hell, I figured, nobody lives forever!
— Eliot Ness

In 1926, Ness' brother-in-law, Alexander Jamie, an agent of the Bureau of Investigation (which later became the Federal Bureau of Investigation in 1935), influenced Ness to enter law enforcement. He joined the U.S. Treasury Department in 1927, working with the 300-strong Bureau of Prohibition, in Chicago.

Following the election of President Herbert Hoover, U.S. Treasury Secretary Andrew Mellon was specifically charged with bringing down gangster Al Capone. The federal government approached the problem from two directions: income tax evasion and the Volstead Act. Ness was chosen to head the operations under the Volstead Act, targeting the illegal breweries and supply routes of Capone.

With Chicago's corrupted law-enforcement agents endemic, Ness went through the records of all Prohibition agents to create a reliable team, initially of 50, later reduced to 15 and finally to just eleven men called, "The Untouchables”. Raids against illegal stills and breweries began immediately; within six months Ness claimed to have seized breweries worth over one million dollars. The main source of information for the raids was an extensive wire-tapping operation. An attempt by Capone to bribe Ness' agents was seized on by Ness for publicity, leading to the media nickname, "The Untouchables." There were a number of assassination attempts on Ness, and one close friend of his was killed.

The efforts of Ness and his team had a serious impact on Capone's operations. However, Ness had very little to do with the IRS convicting Capone with income tax evasion, which led to Capone's downfall. In a number of federal grand jury cases in 1931, Capone was charged with 22 counts of tax evasion and also 5,000 violations of the Volstead Act. On October 17, 1931, Capone was sentenced to 11 years in prison, and following a failed appeal, he began his sentence in 1932.

Battle vs. Bass Reeves (by Affectos)[]

Bass Reeves tightened the rope around the three Brunther Brothers, “I hope this’ll finally teach you boys.” Looking around, he was quite amazed at what he was seeing. Coming in, he had expected to be arresting the Brothers for their illegal stillery, but what he had found instead was a large warehouse of giant stills, a much larger operation than what he had expected.

Reeves notioned to one of his four fellow U.S. Marshals to take them out back to the horses, mumbling to himself as the were lead out, “Why would you need so much moonshine....?”BrownBrownBrownBrownBrown

Parked outside the warehouse, a heavy-duty flatbed truck waited with four Untouchables anxiously awaiting to make their move. One in the passenger’s seat looked at his boss, Eliot Ness, as he checked his gun, “Boss, when are going to bust them?”Ness smiled as he lazily spun close his Colt Official Police, “Surprise is a key factor. It was already hard enough tracking those rednecks Brunther Brothers down to here, so there’s a good chance that they’re waiting for us.” An Untouchable from the back sighed, “Ness...we’ve been here for over an hour. I think that they don’t know we’re here.”

Ness sighed and thought for a moment, “I guess you have a point King. Where do we strike Leeson?

Ness’s trusted driver gazed at the side of the wooden shack for a bit until he said, “Right there, just to the right of the double doors.”BlueBlueBlueBlueBlue

“Alright men I want this place closed by sunset.” Bass firmly said as he watched his men begin to dismantle the stills. Bass still couldn’t figure out why the Brunthers needed so much alcohol. It was almost as if they were supplying someone...

Deep thought didn’t last long though as a roaring blared outside the warehouse, catch bass and his men off-guard. Turning, he just barely able to duck as a truck came hurtling in through the wooden wall, sending wood flying everywhere. Looking up, Bass found one of his men who had been standing by the wall now skewered on the spikes of the cowcatcher riding in front of it (-1 ReevesBrown)

‘Damnit,’ Bass thought as he withdrew his Colt Peacemaker, ‘Douglass was one of my best men.’

This sudden commotion had all of the remaining Marshals inside the building drawing their guns as the doors of the truck opened and instantly one of his men with a Coach Gun downed the first man to step out of the passenger's seat (-1 NesBlue). Almost in response, the rest of The Untouchables piled out into the warehouse firing off their Thompsons, but Reeves and his men quickly took cover from the hail of bullets behind the various crates and barrels.

Seeing this from the driver’s seat, Ness pulled a pineapple grenade from his coat pocket, pulled the pin and leapt out of the truck and tossed it, landing it right behind a row of crates where another marshal crouched for cover...until the grenade went off, sending shards of metal ripping through his flesh (-1 ReevesBrown).

Able to see that this wasn’t going to end well, Reeves called for his other remaining marshal in the room to make a hasty retreat. Understanding, the two of them fled through the giant stills, firing off their Peacemaker and Winchester, luckily hitting one of the Untouchables that followed behind them (-1 NessBlue).

Quickly taking refuge behind one of the stills, the marshal pulled out a bundle of dynamite and showed it to Reeves, who nodded in response, and lit the fuse as he set it down. He then made a break for the nearby exit, but in doing so, revealed himself to the remaining Untouchables and was mowed down by a report from the Tommy gun (-1 ReevesBrown).

Gritting his teeth, Reeves jumped out and fired his Peacemaker, killing one of the Untouchables (-1 NessBlue), and made a break for it while they Untouchables were still stunned. When they realized that the black man was making a break for it, they bolted after him, but as they passed the second to last set of stills, the fuse ran out of the dynamite, sending the last Untouchable sky high (-1 NessBlue).

Barely making it to the back door, he found his only remaining marshal waiting on horseback with the Brunther Brothers. Making it to his horse, he shouted to his partner, “We’ve got to get out of here, we’re at a loss for men and we’re out gunned.” Nodding, the marshal took the reins in hand...only to drop them and fall off his horse as a round from Ness’s Springfield pierced his skull (-1 ReevesBrown).

Following where the shot came from, Reeves saw the man that had gotten out of the driver’s seat of the truck. Quickly firing his Peacemaker, Ness leapt to the side, tossing aside his rifle and pulled out his own pistol and fired. The shot rang high, hitting Reeves horse instead as he ducked to avoid the bullet, only to drop his gun in the progress. Seeing this, Reeves pulled out his Bowie knife from his belt and charged the man who was now trying to getting up. Reeves collided with him falling to the ground as well, knocking the gun away and giving him a gash in his shoulder.

Grasping his wounded shoulder, attempting to stem the bleeding though his torn suit, Reeves checked to see if his brass knuckles were on right. Seeing that they were, Ness took a step in and gave the black man a hard jab to the gut, sending him back as he doubled over.

Watching the man double over, Reeves walked over and picked up his gun. But as he bent down, the man leapt on top of him, digging the blade into his shoulder again, deeper this time.

Screaming in pain, Ness, flung the black man off of him onto the ground, spun around and fired a single shot into his heart, finishing the man off (-1 ReevesBrown).

Ness turned and looked at the three men tied up who had seen this whole thing unfold before them. Ness stared at them and said, “Well that’s what happens when you bring a knife to a gunfight...”

Winner: Eliot Ness

Expert's Opinion[]

Please consider a contribution by writing an expert's opinion as to why Eliot Ness won.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Cole Phelps (by WraithOfWaffle)[]

Cole Phelps: 12345

Eliot Ness: 12345

Since the voters didn't choose a location for the battle I chose a Chicago train station as the location.

Chicago, Illinois

Cole Phelps has been sent with 4 of the LAPD's best officers to Chicago to investigate a series of crimes committed. This has brought him to a train station where Eliot Ness and 4 Untouchables are also looking for more clues that will lead them to Al Capone. Ness sees Phelps and assumes he's one of the corrupt cops sent by Al Capone so he raises his Star Model B as his men raise their M1928 Thompsons and 1903 Springfields and open fire, killing an officer.

Cole Phelps: 1234

Phelps and his men take cover. Phelps shoots his M1911A1 towards Ness and his men, managing to score a headshot.

Eliot Ness: 1234

Springfield, M1911A1, Star Model B, M1 Garand, and Thompson gunfire echo the empty train station but was interrupted by a massive explosion from a Mk 2 frag grenade. The explosion was lethal to an LAPD officer with an M1 Garand.

Cole Phelps: 123

Cole Phelps tells his men to retreat but the officer with a M2 flamethrower doesn't follow orders and rushes to Ness and his men, scorching 1 of them.

Eliot Ness: 123

An Untouchable with an M1928 Thompson riddles the LAPD officer with bullets, blowing up the tank on his back.

Cole Phelps: 12

Phelps picks up an M1A1 Thompson from a fallen ally and retreats with his remaining LAPD officer retreat as Ness and his 2 Untouchables chase after them. They go up a flight of stairs but the LAPD officer stops and manages to hit an Untouchable with an M1 Garand in the chest and head.

Eliot Ness: 12

Eliot Ness and his remaining Untouchable try to shoot the office but barely miss. Phelps and his final LAPD officer exit the train station and are trying to find where they parked the police car but can't locate it. The final Untouchable aims his 1903 Springfield and fires at the LAPD officer, turning his brain into mist.

Cole Phelps: 1

Cole Phelps retaliates and fires at the Untouchable, hitting him in the chest.

Eliot Ness: 1

Eliot Ness spots Cole Phelps and fires his Star Model B towards his direction. Cole returns fire and manages to hit Eliot in the shoulder but eventually hears a click. He drops the Thompson and takes out his M1911A1 from earlier and loads a clip into it. He fires at Ness and tries to retreat to the police car. Ness chases Phelps down the alleyway between the train station and a hotel and fires at Phelps. Phelps tries to open the door of his car but feels a cold piece of metal against his head. Ness pulls the trigger but feels the same sound Phelps heard with his Thompson.

​*Clank*

Cole takes the gun out of Eliot's hand and pushes it to the side, under the police car. Cole knees Ness in the groin and takes out his M1911A1. Phelps empties the clip into Eliot's head, turning the prohibition officer's brain into small chunks on the Chicago ground.

Winner: Cole Phelps

Expert's Opinion[]

I believe Cole Phelps succeeded due to his superior training and harder hitting arsenal compared to Eliot Ness.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Advertisement