Deadliest Fiction Wiki
Advertisement

Wherefore in me burns an anger, not by blood to be satiated.
— Lord Alfred Tennyson, Boadicea

Boudica or Boudicca, also known as Boadicea or Boudicea, and in Welsh as Buddug, was the Iceni queen of Celtic tribes who led a rebellion against the Roman Empire. After the death of her husband Prasutagas, the Roman Empire seized her kingdom's lands. Not much is known of her background except that she was born of royal blood.

In the year 60, Boudica staged her first revolt with the help of her dead husband's people, the Iceni, and other tribesmen. They raided colonies and settlements, wreaking havoc and inspiring fear into the hearts of Roman citizens and soldiers. Roman governor Suetonis feared the raging tribal warriors and abandoned Londinium, a major colony which is home to the future London. Boudica and her warriors slaughtered many. Her kill count rises above 70,000.

However, Suetonis helped defend the remaining Roman provinces by gathering whatever force he had and routed Boudica and her troops. The queen did not want to succumb to defeat and humiliation, so she killed herself. It is argued what was the cause of her death, many argue she took poison to escape capture, others state that she died by her own sword, while scholars believe she died of old age or disease.

Battle vs. Hannibal Barca (by Guitarcar)[]

Neon: (Mimicking a history channel guy) In 27 B.C for some reason, Hannibal tears through Romes great defense along the Iberian peninsula pushing the Legions back in Gaul. Things however, change for Hannibal.

Recon: Under the rule of Suetonis, Boudica and the Imperial 9th legion have made a truce. If Boudica defeats Hannibal's great army, she will be rewarded the title of Emperor of an independent Romano-British state. Boudica accepts and marches through Gaul ready to strike Hannibal's unsuspecting army.

Neon: Little does she know that the Ninth Legion backstabbed her army and left just as the battle commenced. Seutonic planned the betrayal, Boudica would be used as a cannon fodder to halt Hannibal's advance long enough for the 21'st, 14'th and 9'th Legions to unite and sorround Hannibal.

Recon: Here at an open meadow near modern day Paris, France lay the great battle between 2 of Rome's enemies.


Hannibal:

x 100 infantry (50 are elite)

x20 cavalry

x40 archers/long range troop


Boudica:

x 100 infantry (50 are elite)

x20 cavalry

x40 archers/long range troops


As Hannibal is about to rest in the camp his small army setup on the meadows, A scout returns from a mission alone.

Carthaginian scout: My dear lord, my dear lord!!!!! I have spotted naked giants in the forests. They have killed my escorts and spared me to give you a message sir.

Hannibal: Hmmmm, the message is?

Carthaginia scout: A Celtic queen by the name of Boudica asked us to surrender. There is a legion and a horde of Celtic tribesmen in the forests united. Sir, the odds are high. Carthage's luck has run out now. Our 160 men cant win against thousands of them!!!

Hannibal: I know Rome very well. Its as decietful as a snake. It does not keep alliances permanently and the only goal in mind they have is to fill their bellies with scum. I doubt that legion Boudica has as allies will come to save her, she's probablly just a pawn of Rome.

Hannibal: Tell my men to advance early in the morning on front of the forests in a phalanx.


After a meetup with fellow generals, Hannibal reached the location the scout claimed was filled with Celtic tribesmen and Roman Legions. The army Hannibal prepared has set up the phalanx with the Numidian cavalry as reserves.

But out of nowhere, He heard scary yelling and the Celtic tribesmen standing right outside the forests. Hannibal inspects their formation when he is hit in the head by a rock. He quickly gets up and sees his men hiding behind their shields from a volley of rocks.

As a retaliation, Multiple men armes with soliferrums stepped away from the formations and threw their spears at the Celtic boys who were taunting them with their slings. The battle was brief and the Celtic slingers ran away back into the forest.


Hannibal:

x 100 infantry (50 are elite)

x20 cavalry

x33 archers/long range troop


Boudica:

x 100 infantry (50 are elite)

x20 cavalry

0 archers/long range troops


Out of nowhere, the Celtic tribesmen ran towards the Carthaginians in a quick flash. The poor Carthaginians who fought the slingers were overun easily.


Hannibal:

x 100 infantry (50 are elite)

x20 cavalry

0 archers/long range troop


Boudica:

x 100 infantry (50 are elite)

x20 cavalry


The Celts smashed into the Carthagnians only to have multiple of them impaled on the spears. Boudice realizes this and prepares the Chieftain chariots.


Hannibal:

x 88 infantry (50 are elite)

x20 cavalry


Boudica:

x 67 infantry (20 are elite)

x20 cavalry


Boudica then flanks the right guard of the phalanx and charges at a Carthaginian section of the battle line. Due to the length of the Sarissa, they are unable to set up a rear phalanx in time and is squashed. The survivors attempt to flee but are cut down by the angry Celts.


Hannibal:

x 65 infantry (50 are elite)

x20 cavalry


Boudica:

x 59 infantry (10 are elite)

x13 cavalry


Hannibal wanted this moment to happen and orders his Carthaginian elites who were waiting for orders to engage the chariots with a slow phalanx march. Boudica spots the elites slowly decending upon them, the Chieftains however did not worry and charged towards the phalanx with mix success.


Hannibal:

x 57 infantry (39 are elite)

x20 cavalry


Boudica:

x 38 infantry (0 are elite)

x8 cavalry


Boudica is frustated at the audacious fight the Carthage elites put and orders the chieftains to retreat when she hears the sound of galloping.

-Crash-

Hannibal sorrounds Boudica and her chieftains with the numdian cavalry he set up as reserve. She calls for help but also sees the Celtic infantry retreat from the ammount of casualties they took


Hannibal:

x 49 infantry (34 are elite)

x16 cavalry


Boudica:

x 0 infantry [Retreated]

x3 cavalry


Boudica looks around the battlefield only to see no sign of the legion at all. She makes a desicion to charge towards Hannibal himself to get revenge before her inevetible demise.

Boudica orders her chariot to move towards hannibal and they suprised the Carthaginian leader. Hannibal however, dodges the chariot in time and sticks his lance up the mouth of Boudica's chariot rider causing Boudica to fall.

Boudica attempts to stand up but her faces is smashed in by the hooves of Hannibal's horse. Hannibal's horse then step on her face three times causing her skull to crack and her brain matter to seep towards the field making disgusting noises on the way.


Hannibal:

x 49 infantry (30 are elite)

x15 cavalry


Boudica:

x 0 infantry [Retreated]

x0 cavalry


Hannibal shouts in victory and impales a pike through Boudica's anus right through her smashed head like Vlad the impaler and positions the pike like a flag on front of the forest. He then shouts to the Celtic tribesmen hiding in the forest.


Hannibal: If any of you savages come towards us. Be prepared to end up like her!!!!!

Winner: Hannibal Barca

Expert's Opinion[]

Boudicca wad simply outclassed in every way. Hannibal was a far more succesful commander, tactician. and his men had better equipment, and training.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Advertisement