Deadliest Fiction Wiki

Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.

Battle vs. Davy Crockett (by The Deadliest Warrior)[]

Blackbeard: Red Red Red Red Red

Davy Crockett: Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue

Blackbeard and four of his pirate henchmen have docked their ship, Queen Anne's Revenge, and head ashore to a building that has been horribly pounded by cannon shells - The Alamo. The pirates step inside, unaware that Davy Crockett and four Texian defenders are watching them. One of the Texians steps out with a revolver and fires at the pirates, killing one. Red Blackbeard's men fire back with their muskets, but only one of the three guns that fired actually shoots because the other two jammed. The one musket that did fire still kills the Texian, however. Blue Blackbeard's men see Crockett and his men split up and run and the pirates give chase.

One of Crockett's men ducks in a side room and two of Blackbeard's pirates rush by. The Texian steps out and throws his only weapon, a Bowie Knife, and it hits one of the pirates square in the back, killing him. Red The other pirate spins round and advances mercilessly on the defenseless Texian, and stabs him clean through with his cutlass. Blue

Meanwhile, Crockett and one Texian are fleeing from Blackbeard's two remaining thugs. Crockett's man spins around and tries to pistol whip the pirates, but they sidestep it and crack the man's skull open with a hatchet. Blue They look up to see Davy aiming at them with his rifle, Ol' Betsy, and they dive aside as he fires and wounds one in the stomach before running again.

Blackbeard is following the last Texian soldier, and laughs to himself as the man ducks in a small room. He lights a match and sets his hair and the fuse of a grenade on fire, and throws the grenade in the room. He lets out a blood-curdling war cry, and grins with satisfaction as he hears the Texian scream in terror right before the grenade explodes. Blue

Crockett has made it outside and quickly sets a TNT bomb in a room inside the building thorugh the window. He yells oudly to attract attention, and Blackbeard's two pirate thugs run in, and fire their blunderbusses at Davy. One hits his arm and he falls, but before the pirates can do anything else the TNT explodes, killing one pirate and sending the other crashing to the floor. Red Crockett gets up and fires at the barely-conscious pirate with his shotgun, ending the pirate's life. Red

Crockett ducks back under the windowsill, Ol' Betsy in hand and shotgun nearby on the ground. He can hear Blackbeard angrily clomping outside as he continues searching for Davy. Crockett grins and steadies his grip on Ol' Betsy, and fires just as Blackbeard turns the corner. The pirate falls, wounded, and curses, but Davy get on top of his body and fires again in the pirate captain's face. Red Davy Crockett gets up, and whispers, "Remember the Alamo, always..." before he staggers away quietly, clutching his wounded arm and mourning for the loss of his comrades.

Expert's Opinion[]

The experts said that the reason why Crockett prevailed over Blackbeard is that he was better trained, had more reliable weapons, and was more battle-ready than the vicious pirate. To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


The battle was declared unfair for Blackbeard due to Davy Crockett's more advanced firearms and invalid for giving Crockett a shotgun despite the fact that the US Army only started using shotguns 20 years after his death.

Battle vs. Ivan the Terrible (by Urbancommando77)[]

Off the coast of Russia, Blackbeard and four pirates walk across a sandy beach away from their wrecked ship. Blackbeard and the pirates were the only ones who survived the ship's crash. Meanwhile, Ivan the terrible watches from a small cliff. He commands a russian soldier to investagate the wreck. The soldier walks down to see the pirates. He aims his pishchal and fires right into one's neck.

Blackbeard: 4

Blackbeard aims his musket and another soldier does the same. The soldier fires but he missed. Blackbeard's musket jammed. Blackbeard and the pirate reload their muskets and fire. one hits the soldier in the chest but one jams. The pirate tries to fix the jam but it won't work. The soldier, however, falls and bleeds out.

Ivan: 4

Ivan and his men move down towards the pirates. One pulls out a blunderbuss and shoots the horse one of the soldiers. Ivan commands the soldier to get up and use his crossbow. The soldier follows the directions and limps towards his horse and pulls out his crossbow. The soldier aims at them. He fires a bolt into a pirate's eye. The pirate yells in pain and falls over. The soldier aims his crosbow again to see the soldier he shot had the blunderbuss. They both fire. The soldier gets hit in the arm and the pirate gets hit in the chest.

Blackbeard: 3

Two pirates pulls out a hatchets and charge at them. One soldier gets off his horse and smacks one the face with his warpick. The soldier yells and falls in pain. The other soldier raises his hatchet and prepairs to swing. The soldier hits the pirate in the crotch and neck.

Blackbeard: 2

The pirate get back up holding his brocken nose and throws a grenade at them.

Ivan: 2

Ivan discovers that two soldiers had died. His last soldier gets off his horse and pulls out his bardiche. He swings at the pirate but misses. He keeps swinging but all miss. He then puts the heavy weapon on the pirates head.

Blackbeard: 1

Blackbeard walks towards the soldiers and pulls out his cutlass. He charges towards Ivan and the soldier. Ivan signals the soldier away and pulls out his sablia. The two clash blades and cut up eachother. Ivan slices open Blackbeards knees. The pirate falls down in pain. Ivan raises his sablia and cuts right throught the pirates neck. The pirate gives a small whimper before falling to the ground.


Ivan looks at the fallen pirate and pulls out some mercury.

Expert's Opinion[]

Ivan's military-grade weapons and professional soldiers were more than a match for Blackbeard's crew of sailors best-suited for naval combat.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.


Battle was declared invalid on grounds of classifying hair as a weapon.

Battle vs. Charles Cornwallis (by ShodaiGoro)[]

Cornwallis: RedRedRedRedRed

Blackbeard: BlueBlueBlueBlueBlue

The battle starts on a coast where Cornwallis has already set up his camp on a hill, complete with a cannon. Suddenly, Blackbeard's ship docks at the coast and one of his crew shoots a Red Coat with a stolen musket. Red. Cornwallis retaliates by firing his cannon at Blackbeard's ship, causing it to sink. All but one crew member escapes, as the last one drowns. Blue. Cornwallis' men then start firing their Brown Besses, killing one pirate. Blue. The remaining 3 pirates take cover at the bottom of the hill, where they toss a grenade up on the top. It destroys a cannon and kills 1 Red Coat.Red. Cornwallis runs away. Blackbeard's men start making their way up the hill. When one reach the top, he is greeted by a bayonette to hit guts, killing him. Blue. A second make it up, but when the bayonette Red Coat attempts to stab him, he is taken down by a blunderbuss. Red. Black Beard climbs to the top and kills a Red Coat with his Cutlass. Red. Cornwallis then returns on horseback with his cavalry sabre, and kills the blunderbuss pirate with a decapitation. Blue. Now down to Cornwallis and Blackbeard himself, Blackbeard knocks Cornwallis off his horse with a grenade, but doesn't hurt Cornwallis. Now in a final sword fight, Blackbeard attempts to decapitate Cornwallis by slashing at the neck, but Cornwallis parrys it. Blackbeard, stumbling from the parry he just recieved, charges at Cornwallis, only to be finished off by running into Cornwallis' sabre and getting stabbed in the guts. Blackbeard, now coughing blood, falls over and never plunders or hi-jacks another ship. Blue. Cornwallis, after wiping the blood of the dreaded pirate off his sword, yells in victory "Rule Britania! Rule the waves!".

WINNER: Charles Cornwallis.

Expert's Opinion[]

Cornwallis won due to his better weapons and military experience. His cavalry sabre had a longer reach, his musket didn't misfire, and his cannon had a far better range than the grenade.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.


Battle was declared unfair due to Cornwallis' superior experience and training.