“ | You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
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The Basterds are an American taskforce lead by Lieutenant Aldo Raine predominantly made up out of Jewish-Americans who were deployed in Nazi-occupied France to wage guerrilla warfare on the Germans. They became infamous among their Nazi enemies for their brutality, scalping the soldiers they killed and carving swastikas in the heads of those they let live as a warning to the Nazi regime and a reminder to their life as German soldiers.
At some point, the Bastards became involved with Operation Kino, a plan to assassinate the Nazi high command during the premiere of Stolz der Nation. Originally, the Basterds meant to simply provide Special Operations Executive (SEO) agent Archie Hicox and the German actress and double-agent Bridget von Hammersmark with cover while they rendezvoused inside of a local tavern. Hicox cover was blown, however, and a shootout between the agents and the Nazi ensued, leaving Von Hammersmark wounded and as the only survivor.
The Basterds filled the rolls originally ment for Hicox and the SEO agents, and while Donny Donowitz and Omar Ulmer managed to get inside of the cinema with the bombs strapped to their leg, Raine and Smithson Utivich were found out and captured by SS Standartenführer Hans Landa, who killed Von Hammersmark. Realizing that there was no way that the war would end favorably for him, Landa struck up a deal with OSS command, he would allow Operation Kino to proceed while in turn he would be granted pardons and Allied awards.
In the end, the cinema exploded, killing those inside, including Adolf Hitler. Landa was brought to the United States, but before he was delivered, Raine carved a swastika into his head, preventing him from leaving his Nazi past.
Battle vs. Project Mayhem (by AnnhilationNation)[]
Lt. Aldo Raine, along with four inductees into the Guerilla force were seen scouting a museum that Project Mayhem was about to blow up. Aldo said to his comrades, "If there's one thing I hate... it's nazi's out of uniform." He puts up his binoculars, as he signals for the group to move in, as three walk in with MP40's, while one carries Dynamite, to seal off any potential exit.
Meanwhile, various bombs are being placed in strategic places, as Tyler Durden overlooks his crew member's work, while holding a Smith and Wesson 4506. "Good job, space monkeys. Don't you love that feeling of destroying something beautiful?" One of his subordinates replies to him saying, "Yeah, I always felt like wiping my ass with the Mona Lisa"; as the bomb expert was working with the unstable nitroglycerin bombs.
Two lookouts weild H&K MP5k sub-machineguns, as the other weilds a baseball bat, as he smashes an expensive Ming vase. In the room, Tyler shouts to the guy with the bat "Hey! Angel Face! Go smash up the vending machine in the lounge. Might as well, while we're here, huh?"
Angel Face walked over to the lounge, as a loud smash was heard. However, little did they know, Aldo Raine and the Basterds were closing in. One of the Lookouts went over to grab some loot, as the bomb expert walked out with some brass knuckles in his hand, to take over lookout duties, when all of a sudden, two basterds lunged out with MP40's, easily dispatching bullets into both lookouts. (5-3)
Durden was suprised, as he grabbed the remote to one of the bombs that his deceased comrade had just finished, and fired a round into the ceiling. "Go check that out." one Basterd said to the other, as one of the MP40 weilding troops creeped into the room where Tyler was just at. Tyler was creeped against the back of a wall, as he had a glimpse of the trooper, and his weapon, and detonated the bomb, promptly ****ing him up beyond all recognizition. (4-3)
The other MP40 weilding soldier started to head to the lounge, along with Aldo Raine. Meanwhile, the dynamite weilding Basterd set a charge for the exit, and set it for a minute and a half. He and another Basterd weilding an MP40 run off, as he takes a Walther P38 for himself. They both run into the area where the blast was heard, as a member of the Project was waiting, with an MP5k. He sneaks up and shoots the MP 40 weilding basterd to death. (3-3) The Walther P38 weilding basterd fired a shot, however, it only left a wound, as the Project member dropped his gun. However, Tyler swung back around and laid two perfect shots with his Smith and Wesson. (2-3)
Tyler looked for his comrade, and saw him bleeding. He then said to him... "Go back to the house, get yourself patched up." The Project member got up and started to head for the exit, however, as he turned the corner, he seen a small clock on a bundle of three sticks of dynamite click to both hands reaching 12, as it explodes, blasting his torso from his waist in a gory fashion. (2-2)
Hearing the blast, Aldo smirked, knowing an exit was sealed. He was right behind the MP 40 weilding soldier, while little did they know, Angel Face clenched his bat, and waited for an opportunity. He sees the barrel of the MP 40 come into picture, as he swings an overhead smash, and hits the Basterd in the temple with the baseball bat, causing internal hemmoraging, and death. (1-2) Aldo jumped bacck, and tried to fire his Walther P38 twice, however he missed both shots, as the gun was knocked out of his hands. Aldo drew his bowie knife, and swiped at the enemy, however, he avoided the slash. Aldo then kicked him back into the room, and then ducked a swipe towards him. The Project member tried another shot to the head, however, Aldo ducked, and then stabbed his foe with the knife, letting him bleed to death. He removed his blade, and then quickly etched a crude swastika into his forehead before grabbing his pistol off the ground (1-1)
Aldo walked out, where Tyler heard gunshots and met him in the open lobby. Both started to unload the rest of their clips, hip firing, as neither made their mark, until Tyler manage to hit Aldo in the shoulder wtih his last bullet. Tyler walked over and punched Aldo, knocking him down to the ground, and started to reload his gun, when Aldo rolled over, and revealed a suprise within his white glove. He fired the shot, which penetrated Tyler's heart, killing him instantly. (1-0)
Aldo gets up, and pulls out his knife, and begins to scalp Tyler Durden, before raising it pup to the sky with hsi good arm and screaming in victory.
WINNER: The Basterds
Expert's Opinion[]
While the Basterds have about 50 years of a technology disadvantage, their old fashioned killing know-how won the day for them.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Roebuck's Squad (by Cfp3157)[]
No battle written.
Expert's Opinion[]
The Basterds' greater creativity and tactics, in combination with their better arsenal capable of attacking from multiple ranges, was enough to overcome the more experienced and disciplined men of Roebuck's Squad.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Wolverines (Original) (by BeastMan14)[]
No battle was written.
Winner: Wolverines
Expert's Opinion[]
TBW