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Assyria was originally a Middle Eastern city-state based around the city of Assur. The history of Assyria is typically sectioned into four distinct periods: Old Assyria, Middle Assyria, Neo-Assyria, and Post-Imperial. This wiki has utilized the Neo-Assyrian army, from when the empire was at the height of its power. By this time, the Assyrian Army had become a standing army, instead of being raised by levy as needed, and had the distinction of being one of the first armies to implement large-scale manufacturing of weapons and armor with iron.

The Neo-Assyrian army began a series of conquests to reclaim and expand the power the empire had enjoyed during the Middle Assyrian period. Due to a combination of training, tactics, and technological advancements, they were ultimately successful. Their empire spanned most of Mesopotamia, and lasted about three hundred years.

Battle vs. Spartan Army (by Killermoves)[]

In a small flat grassy field in the Peloponnese, two colossal armies came to face each other. One was the might Assyrian army, a highly versatile war machine comprised of the best infantry, archery and chariotry in all the Fertile Crescent. On one the side were the brutal Spartans of Greece, who marched along in tight formation with their well-trained heavy infantry, archer auxiliaries and small cavalry. The two sides met face to face, none of whom dared to attack first without the orders of their general. These men were no barbarians; they were two of the most highly-disciplined and powerful soldiers the ancient world has ever seen.

As customary to battles at that time, the generals and negotiators came to meet each other first, to discuss any alternatives to spare their men from certain death. The Assyrian commander came in a golden lavish chariot pulled by 4-horses and flanked by spear men and archers. The Spartan general came to the meeting being more simplistic, riding out to meet his foes on a horse together with a few bodyguards. The Assyrian was the first to open a parley:

"It's a good morning, isn't it?" The Assyrian commander said.

"Indeed," The Spartan general replied. "Vultures are already circling us. I bet they can't wait to finally feast on something."

"I can see that my dear fellow. Do you not wish to save your men from being eaten by those scavengers?"

"We trekked quite a lot of miles to get here just to hand over our asses that easily."

"General, I think you should see the better option. You cannot possibly win this. Our empire has stretched from almost all the known world, your little city state only being saved by a sea. We promised you complete protection for your people, the retainment of your lands and politics, and even the chance to fight alongside us as allies, if you choose wisdom over stubborness and surrender to us."

"You offering us to become your vassals? Bah! We Spartans love a lot of things. But we cherish our independence the most."

"Don't be a hypocrite dear fellow. You grovel about freedom while you keep and abuse your helot slaves on your hellish farms."

"You are mistaken friend. There are a lot of lies thrown against us, but yes, we do cherish freedom and independence. But we also believe that it is something that only the worthy and the strong can rightfully earn."

"For a supposed Spartan, you talk a lot from your average hoplite."

"Dire times need dire words. Now Assyrian, are we going to conclude this morning with further talk, or are we going to fight like warriors now?"

"So be it then. May your gods have mercy on your souls."

The two leaders then went back to their respective armies. The Assyrian general opened up by telling all his chariots to charge straight into the Spartan infantry and scatter them. As the battle horns blasted, and the screams of the horses, the chariots charged in formation towards the poor infantrymen. He then ordered his Assyrian heavy foot soldiers to follow the chariots and mop everything up the moment the chariots do their work. But the Spartan general was not going to be intimidated by such beasts. He ordered his men to stand their ground and await for his signal.

As the chariots got closer, he still kept his hoplite in their tight phalanx formation. The Spartans remained calm and reserved even as the jaws of death approaches.

When the two sides finally clashed, the Spartan general's gamble paid off as their spears forced the horses to stop in fear. Many of the chariots even topple themselves from the sudden halting. With his signal, the hoplite then temporarily break way from formation and stabbed the fallen charioteers with their spears. Some of the chariot who were still intact and was trying to get away, was promptly chased down and struck by spears and javelins by the Spartans. One chariot did manage to break through before crashing unto the Spartans. The heavy vehicle tumbling down on those infantry, creating great damage and almost eradicating one platoon, but the Spartans held on. So far, the Greek army held triumphant in the opening battle but now they were up against the Assyrian infantry.

Enraged by the defeat of their chariot brothers, the Assyrian foot soldiers slammed themselves shield first unto the thick phalanx of the Spartans. They tried to push their way through but the Spartans held them in place. Soon, the Spartans started to counter them with well placed spear thrusts to their unarmored body parts like the face and the groin. As they were getting beaten up again, the Assyrians grabbed their longswords and started chopping the Spartans spears before charging yet again into the shield formation. But the Spartans manage to get their xiphos, and due to its low profile, worked wonders stabbing and cutting the Assyrians in that tight and crowded battle.

Fearing that it won't be long before his infantryman finally rout, the Assyrian general made his archers move forward in a desperate attempt to give support. But as the archers slowly march forward with their shield bearers, they were suddenly ambushed by the elite skiritai archers in the employ of the Spartans. The skirmishers unleashed a volley of arrows which surprised and decimated the unsuspecting Assyrian archers. The Assyrians manage to regroup though and used their pavise shields to protect from further arrow barrage. They then tried to fire back but the skiritai fell back, before appearing again this time at the Assyrians other side, surprising them again and slowly chopping away at their numbers.

It was now the Assyrian archer's time to fall back, and as the skiritai continued to fire, they were slowly massacred as they proved to be too slow to escape. The Assyrian infantrymen also started to fall back as the defenses of the Spartans proved to be too much. And as they did so, they were promptly chased and cut down by the Spartans mercilessly. Seeing that his army was defeated the Assyrian commander told his driver to turn his chariot away from the battle. But as they were leaving, a detachment of Spartan cavalry came out of nowhere and chased them. The slow moving chariot could not escape the cavalry as the Spartans were getting closer, and while the Assyrian general and his archers manage to take some of the cavalrymen out with their powerful composite bows, one of the horseman manage to get close and stab the fat Assyrian in his belly. The body of the Assyrian general then fell on one of the chariot's wheel, making the large and grandiose chariot flip and turn over, killing everyone inside.

The remaining Assyrians were massacred on the spot, being too slow to run away nor too soft to take on the Spartans head on in a last stand. Only an eighth of their number managed to flee, with almost zero chariots left. They would soon die on their way back to Assyria, being harassed by other Greek city states before finally being killed by the desert in the North. Nonetheless, in that small open plain, the Spartans emerged victorious and together with their general, they cheered loudly and sang to their gods.

Expert's Opinion[]

The experts believed that the Spartans won because they had the better units overall. For example, while both of their infantrymen were armored, the Spartans proved to be the one who still remained mobile. Their archers too proved to be more balanced in speed and in defenses compared to the slower moving heavy archers of the Assyrians. When it came to their mounts, cavalry prove to be more maneuverable than the heavy chariots. Even in their tactics, the Spartans proved to be more intelligence overall.

While they also believed that the Assyrians were more versatile than the rigid Spartan army, and while they do have the numbers advantage, they were still not enough to turn the tide in their favor. The Spartans were deemed to be the deadliest ancient warrior yet again.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

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