| “ | Jeez! Put your backbones into it!
— A skeleton to his fellow soldiers.
|
” |
Created by the undead Evil Ash, the Army of Darkness was a massive invasion force of undead warriors created to invade the castle Ash stayed in to obtain the Necronomican and create an even greater army. The army were powerful enough to successfully invade the castle get the book, only for Henry the Red and his army to come to Ash's aid and Evil Ash was sent flying.
Each undead warrior's origins and personalities vary greatly. Origin wise, the most agreeable aspect is that they all died in battle and were brought back to life, though which battles they died in differs. A good number of them are comedic and will react to events with much energy while others are quite and will merely fight. They also differ in appearance. Some of them appear to be older than others due to their armor. Some still have much meat on them and others are nothing but bones. Some still have hair and some even have humerus beards. A common trend is their hate for the living and their love for girls.
Battle vs. Orc (The Lord of the Rings) (by Undead RVD)[]
Inside the city of Telsmore
There is a group of creatures camped on top of 3 ruined buildings, connected with boards. They are short creatures, thin in build but have the eyes of a savage creatures. There is 21 of them all together. They are Orcs. While the Orcs are minding their business, their leader, some orc archers and some spearmen are standing watch. Their leader is a massive creature, pale in skin and deformed in shape. His left are is curled up, useless. His left eye is covered by a tumor growing on his head. He is Gothmog.
"Sir," One of the archers ask, "When do you think they will get here?"
"Soon enough." Gothmog answers.
"What are they like?" one of the spearmen asks, "the men we are looking out for, that is. What are they like?"
"All I know... is they are dead men. Dead men that walk. They are men none the less. They will fall."
Outside the city
A large group of 20 soldiers march to Telsmore. Their bodies are rotten and many have nothing but bones. They are undead soldiers. More importantly, they are the Beginning of the Army of Darkness. In the middle is a rotting undead horse. Riding it is a man-shaped monster, clad in gruesome armor. His jaw is mutilated and his helmet has the shape of the skull of some fierce monster. He is Evil Ash.
"Sire, the City of Telsmore is ever close," one of the undead warriors tell Evil Ash.
"That's nice but how many men are buried down in it?"
"Many bodies, perhaps in the thousands."
"Good! They will make for a great army! Now, into that city!"
The undead soldiers continue to the city at a faster pace.
Back in the City
The Orcs continue to wait. Many are sharpening their crude weapons. Others are eating meat of an unknown origin. Suddenly, one of the archers finds something. He races to Gothmog.
"Sir! I see large group of men coming this way!" The orc tells the Lieutenant, "They are heavily armed are picking up pace! Worse, yet, they don't appear normal!"
"How do they appear?" Gothmog says with interest.
"They appear to be... Undead! They have little life in them! Some don't even have flesh!"
"These are our men. Take positions."
The Orcs start taking arms and head for their areas. The Archers wait on the buildings, their bows pulled. Orcs armed with spears, scimitars and axes both along side and below.
Orcs:
- Gothmog:
- Scimitar:
- Scimitar and Shield:
- Spear and Shield:
- Bow:
- Axe:
Army of Darkness:
- Evil Ash:
- Longsword:
- Longsword and Shield:
- Winged Spear and Shield:
- Crossbow:
- Battleaxe:
The undead warriors are entering the city, oblivious to the Orc's ambush. As they march through, Gothmog gives the order:
"FIRE!"
The Orc Archers let loose their arrows onto the undead warriors. They hit... and it does nothing. They look down at the arrows in confusion.
Evil Ash pulls out the arrow that was in his side and yells out to his men:
"ARROWS! FIRE!"
The Deadite crossbowman aim up and fire. They take down 4 of the Orc archers and wound the remaining 2. The four dead archers fall off the buildings they were on.
- Bow: X X X X
The Orc archers fall back and the other orcs leap down. The Melee has begun. Their leaping attack is able to take out two undead swordsmen, one undead shield-swordsman, 4 crossbowmen and one axeman. However, some of the undead warriors are able to respond on time. The Spear men and swordsmen raise their Winged-Spears and Longswords just in time to catch some of the falling orce, killing two orcs with scimitars , two with scimitars and shields two with spears and one with an axe. The others raise their weapons to block the attacks.
- Scimitar: X X
- Scimitar and Shield: X X
- Spear and Shield: X X
- Axe: X X
- Longsword: X X
- Longsword and Shield: X
- Crossbow: X X X X
- Battleaxe: X
The Orcs, realizing they are loosing more men then they are taking down, head further int the city. Gothmog, still on top of the buldings, is angry but he follows. The Undead Warriors are confused on what is going on but Evil Ash doesn't have the patience.
"Don't just stand their! AFTER THEM!"
The Undead warriors, now laughing with glee, start charging through the city. The Orc archers catch up with the remaining Orcs but they see the Undead warriors charging. Gothmog yells down at them to take positions. The orcs create a formation and get ready. The Undead soldiers and the Orcs clash. The Orcs with the axes and scimitars swing hard while the Orcs with spears stab ferociously. The undead warriors do the same, the Swordsmen and Axemen bringing down heavy blows and the Spearmen thrust with power. 4 orc swordsmen, 3 orc shielded swordsmen, 4 orc spearmen, 5 orc axmen, 4 undead swordsmen, 3 undead shielded swordsmen, 5 undead spearmen and 5 undead axemen lay dead.
- Scimitar: X X X X X X
- Scimitar and Shield: X X X X
- Spear and Shield: X X X X X X
- Axe: X X X X X X
- Longsword: X X X X X X
- Longsword and Shield: X X X X
- Winged Spear and Shield: X X X X X
- Battleaxe: X X X X X
Soon, the fighting gets slitted up and the warriors of each side start to fight one on one. Evil Ash rides in and hacks off one of the scimitar orcs, one of the shield-scimitar orcs and one of the shield orcs. Gothmog, backed with his archers, starts to insert himself in the fight, pushing over ruble, taking down an undead axemen and Axe men. The rest of the numbers start to weed out in till their is one of each type left, save for the Orc Archers and Undead Crossbowmen
- Scimitar: X X X X X X X X X
- Scimitar and Shield: X X X X X X X
- Spear and Shield: X X X X X X X
- Bow: X X X X
- Axe: X X X X X X X
- Longsword: X X X X X X X X X
- Longsword and Shield: X X X X X X X
- Winged Spear and Shield: X X X X X X X
- Crossbow: X X X X
- Battleaxe: X X X X X X X
Gothmog sees Evil Ash in view. He grabs one of the Archers next to him and throws him down to Ash, knocking him off his horse, which gallops off. Evil ash grabs the orc on him by the head and twists his head, breaking his neck. The other Orc Archer draws his bow to take a shot at Evil Ash The undead Crossbow men see this and fire bolts out. They land on the other orc archer and kills him.
The attack is then halted when an Orc axeman leaps at them and crashed his axe on one of them, shattering the undead crossbowman into pieces. He knocks the other down and is about to bring down his axe on the remaining crossbowman when the remaining Undead Axeman swings his axe into the Orcs axe and breaks it in half. The orc is dumbfounded but the Undead Axeman strikes down on the orc's head.
- Bow: X X X X X X
- Axe: X X X X X X X X
- Crossbow: X X X X X
Gothmog pulls out his scimitar and leaps down. Evil Ash gets back up and look at each other.
"You are a threat to EVERYTHING Sauron wants!" Gothmog yells at Evil Ash, "Why don't you Join Him!"
"I'm not that good about sharing," Evil Ash responds, "The Necronomican will be mine and I will rule this world."
"You seek the death of Men, Elves and Dwarves. We seek the same!"
"I want ALL things that breath to be dead and be serving me. 'Cept for the girls. They look better alive. That's how I like it."
Gothmog swings overhead at Evil Ash but Ash parries and follows with a kick. Gothmog stumbles back gut goes back striking at Ash who parries. The two continue to exchange blows.
Meanwhile, The Undead swordsman and shield-swordsmen are fighting the Orcs with the scimitar and the scimitar-shield combo. The swordsman strikes down the unshielded orc and the two undead warriors work together to kill the other orc, slicing off one of his arms and then decapitating him.
The spearmen are fighting, too. The orc is able to get his spear into the undead spearman's gut but finds it isn't doing much and is stuck do to the barbed tip. The Undead spearman thrusts his Winged spear into the orc's gut. The wings on the spear push the orc back into the wall. The undead spearman then shield-bashes the orc in the face, crushing his face. He then pulls out the large spear head and blood gushes out. The orc falls down, dead from expedient blood lose.
- Scimitar: X X X X X X X X X X
- Scimitar and Shield: X X X X X X X X
- Spear and Shield: X X X X X X X X
Evil Ash and Gothmog continue to fight. Ash is able to hit Gothmog in the left arm but with no real effect. Gothmog is enraged and headbutts Evil Ash and strikes down with his scimitar even harder. The two start to even out. However, Gothmog gets an arrow to the side. The Undead warriors start backing their lord. It is followed by an axe to the back, a spear to the side, a sword swipe to his leg and a sword swipe to his arm. Evil Ash then thrusts his sword into the orcs chest. Gothmog falls to his knees.
"Why do you not take Saurmon's offer? Why fight us?"
"You idiot!" Evil Ash yells out, "I don't need you fools! All I need is the Necronomican. And once I get it, their will be no-one to stop me."
Then then swings his sword and decapitates the deformed Orc Lieutenant.
- Gothmog: X
"Now then, Let's get to work."
................
Evil Ash is standing on top of a ridge, watching over the City. He sees his undead warriors digging. Their are more of them. Many more.
"My lord." His general, one of his remaining swordsmen from the fight moments ago, walks up to him.
"What is it?"
"We have gotten many of the men out. Do you want to see them?"
Evil ash walks down the stairs with his General and views his new army. Over three thousand of them. They raise their weapons and hale their new lord. They are a terrifying sight. They were an Angry Dead. An Evil Dead. And their was an army of them. An Army of Darkness
"Ha ha ha ha." Evil Ash laughs, "WHO RULES?!"
They yell out "You, my lord!", "You Rule All!", "Hale to Our Leader!" and "Long Live the Dead King!"
The General walks to his lord, followed by the other remaining warriors form the fight with the orcs, now his Lieutenants. "There are even more to come. We think in the tens of thousands."
"Perfect! We will get that book!" Evil Ash responds. He then walks up another set of stairs and looks out at the distance.
"However, I say we have some fun with some good old sacking," looking out into Minas Tirith....
WINNER: THE ARMY OF DARKNESS
Expert Opinion[]
In probably the biggest landslide victory I have gotten (Nine to zip), the Army of Darkness had an overwhelming victory. The Orcs won in speed and they tied in metallurgy, brutality and courage but the Army of Darkness were tougher, better trained, had the stronger and longer lasting weapons and had the superior leader. The Orcs rely on their speed and numbers to win but they were even numbered and their speed did not save them. At the end, the Army of Darkness are truly the DEADLIEST WARRIORS!
To see the original bettle, weapons and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Army of Anubis (by Deadliest Issue)[]
Battle
10.000 Darkness Vs 10.000 Anubis The Battle starts with the Army Of Darkness walking in the desert of Ahm Shere.One of the skeletons hear a voice,"Who are you?"The skeleton sarcastically replies "Evil Ash's army."And then a rock from a sling fell into it's helmet.Then,10.000 Anubis-like creature surrounds the army.And then the commander says in Egyptian "Fire!" then 500 giant stones were fired to the Army Of Darkness
9500 Darkness 10.000 Anubis
The field leader then says in a hard language,"Back them with ours!'Then the fire catapult was fired.And 500 Anubis' army were killed with their heads burned.But the fire spread and get burned
9500 Darkness 8000 Anubis
Then the commander says again in Egyptian "Let's strike that fake Anubis spawn!"Then the soldiers charged at each other.One uses the Sickle and one uses a long sword.Both clashed but one skeleton managed to decapitate a warrior of Anubis.The Darkness army destroys an Anubis Warrior's leg and counters with the Battle Spade.Both also fired the Catapult once more.But the Darkness army made more deaths
8000 Darkness 7500 Anubis
The army of Darkness charged once more.Now with the Pole axes and Winged Spear.They impale much of the Anubites but it does nothing.The Anubites countered by swinging their battle spades downward to the skeletons.One says,"Fake Anubis Spawn!" And the spade comes down...
7500 Darkness 7500 Anubis
The Darkness field leader commands another firing in a range.Now with crossbows."Hit their heads hard!" Then 5000 arrows are fired to the poor heads of Anubites.But protected by the headresses and reduced the casualty
7500 Darkness 4900 Anubis
Now,the commander screams at Egyptian,"Finish them off!"Then other Anubites responded by doing a howl and says in Egypt,"For Mathayus,for Anubis!"Then the remaining Anubites charged through their enemies,striking with a savage precision while the Darkness army also strikes wildly
And after one hour :
1 Darkness 1 Anubis
The commander and field leader comes to face each other.The anubis tries to bite for the neck of the skeleton but the field leader impales him with the Longsword and slows him down.But doesn't inflict pain to the commander.Then the commander picks up a sickle and bashes it to the skeleton's helmet,breaking the grip.The skeleton was rendered unsconcious,but then when the commander charges the Skeleton picks up a pole axe and decapitates the Anubite commander and it's life is gone.And finally Ahm Shere is under the command of Evil Ash!
1 Darkness 0 Anubis
Winner: The Army of Darkness
Expert's Opinion[]
The Army Of Darkness wins because their weapons are tougher and rougher than those of the Army Of Anubis have although the Anubis Army has more powerful physical feature,One main thing is that to kill the Anubis army is very easy,just decapitate it and the Army Of Darkness has the weapon to do that.