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| “ | It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand.
— Traditional Apache saying
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” |
Apache warriors were trained from boyhood, with the emphasis being placed on their endurance. Boys were instructed to always bathe in the water in the morning, if even they should crack the ice to do so, and had to learn how to breathe through their nose while running by sprinting up hillside with water in their mouths. They would be further hardened through wrestling games and mock battles. During this period, Apache boys were also taken on hunts so they could learn their surroundings and how to use bows and firearms.
When the young man felt he was ready for his first raid, he was given equipment with practical and spiritual importance and put under the older warriors. If the apprentice performed satisfactorily, he would be invited by the band for the next raid. When the apprentice had completed four raids they would be recognised as a warrior.
Often facing the more advanced and numerous United States and Mexican armies, the Apache used guerrilla tactics to keep up and rarely engaged the enemy unless they knew they could win. When a band of warriors encountered a force they could not fight directly, they would scatter and rendezvous at a previously agreed-upon meeting point.
Despite having a reputation among early non-Apache scholars as a war-like people, the Apache people did not glorify warfare, and raiding was primarily done for economic reasons such as to obtain resources that could be used to trade or were needed for survival. They would also capture women and children to use in labour. If the prisoners did so as they were told, they would be granted the same privileges as members of the tribe.
Battle vs. Aztec Soldier (by KevlarNinja)[]
In a grassy field, an Aztec Jaguar is tip-toeing, looking for prey, when suddenly, an Arrow flies past his head and hits a tree. He looks up and sees an Apache, shouting a war cry. the Jaguar throws a Tlacochtli, which lands at the Apaches feet. The two warriors run towards each other. The Apache throws a Tomahawk, which hits the Aztecs helmet, knocking it off. The Aztec slings a rock at the Apache with his Tematlatl, which knocks a second Tomahawk out of his hand. The Aztec swings his Maquahuitl five times at the Apache, who tricks him into getting it stuck in a tree.
The Apache wacks the Aztec in the back with his War Club, whitch slows him down, but not enough to keep him from knocking the club out of the Apache's hand. Each warrior pulls out there knifes. They scrape back and forth with the Aztec cutting the Apache on the forehead, but the Apache lands the killing blow by slashing the Aztecs throut. He stabs a few more times, then stands up, licks the blood of the knife, makes the famous Apache war cry, and runs out.
Expert's Opinion[]
The Apache managed to beat the Aztec Jaguar because of his more precise long-range weapons, and because the majority of his weapons could be used at a moderate distance as projectiles.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Note[]
Aztec vs. Apache has been rematched as Native American Battle Royale and the outcome is no longer posted on warriors' respective battles statuses.
Native American Battle Royale (by El Alamein)[]
The fog swirled across the Scottish plains, and the air was cold. Barely audible footsteps padded across the grassy ground, as two Apache warriors, bows drawn with an arrow ready, peered through the swirling mist and down a hill at the encamped Inca army. Bronze armor gleamed through the morning fog and the soldiers below readied weapons and armor, prepared for the battle about to take place - although they knew not all of the combatants who were to fight in it.
The Inca chief, Ahuitzotl, talked among his leading officers - they had bola-bolas slung over their shoulders and leaned on their lances slightly. They had been complaining of a lack of food, but their was not much Ahuitzotl could do until they had gotten rid of the Aztecs and Mayans. These new territories of the Scottish highlands would prove to be a good new home for them, after the Spanish swept across South and Central America, but they weren't the only ones who had a claim to the land.
Across a small creek the Aztecs were waiting. A small forest dotted the areas of their encampment, which provided excellent cover for the Apache and Sioux who were waiting there, as the two North American tribes had formed a hasty alliance. The Jaguars and Eagles roamed about the camp, weapons ready, along with the common soliders. The Aztec chief, Montezuma IV, readied his men and had them march on the Inca camp, leaving a few officers behind to guard the camp. No sooner than the main body of the army was out of sight and out of earshot, the Apache and Sioux raised blood-curdling war cries and surged out of the trees. Arrows rained down upon the unsuspecting Aztecs. They charged forth, recovered, with casualties from the long-range attack. Atl-atls and Tlahuitoll arrows returned the fire from a distance but were ineffective for the most part. The head of the Apache/Sioux force were crumpled over like paper in water - the Maquahutils hacked through their unarmored bodies with ease. The Aztecs didn't even bother to kill the injured and left dying men to clutch at their intestines spilled out on the grass. The Sioux slink back into the forest, leaving the Apache to try to fight an increasingly angry enemy, with armor and weapons that outclass their own. The Apache have men elsewhere, but the Aztec elimination plot has failed and their allies have fled.
The Maya have begun a minor engagement with the Inca when the Aztecs appear on the other side of their positon. It becomes a vicious melee as the Aztecs, in their battle-hunger, leave the Apache for dead and the far from defeated guerrilla unit slinks away to lick its own wounds (figuratively, of course). The Maya fall quickly in confusion and are crushed by the Aztec and Inca on each of their flanks. Just as quickly the Inca and Aztecs fall upon each other, but the more organized Inca with stronger weapons begin to rout the Aztec forces.
The Apache stumble right into a Sioux ambush, and arrows rain down on the wounded guerrilla fighters. After a few volleys of the confusion the Apache draw their bows and fire off into the trees where they are being fired on from. Sioux warriors with lances and axes rush out at the Apache, who respond by charging back with tomahawks and clubs. In a close-ranged battle the frenzied Apache have an advantage, quick strikes braining the Sioux braves and leaving them clutching at their innards spilling out from horizontal knife slashes. A few Apache meet their ends on the middle of a war lance but it's not enough - the Sioux flee the battlefield, defeated.
The Inca have also broken the Aztec war machine, but they are not fleeing, instead vying for individual acts of heroism. The Maquahuitl is inflicting serious casualties on the Inca, lopping heads and limbs and disembowling with a terrifying ease. It's not enough though. Ahuitzotl raises his hand-axe high over Montezuma's head and brings it down with a sickening crunch, sending liquid and brain-matter flying through the air.
The Apache and the Inca, high off of their victory and ready to continue the bloodbath, march on each other. Arrows and stones and bolas fly across the field and more men fall like stones. The Incas lose more than they can sustain, however, and even with superior training and armor, the crazy Apache fighting style is completely alien. Ahuitzotl swings his axe at a charging Apache and cracks the skull of his attacker open, but is stabbed in the back with a stolen Sioux war lance. It comes out his stomach and he's impaled to the ground, before a war club breaks his spine. The Incas fall back in panic and are massacred by the pursuing Apaches.
The Scottish highlands are dotted with the discarded weapons of the slain. The body parts and blood and brains scatter the sick fields. Corpses lay sprawled in the sun. Among it all, the Apache raise their war cry high in the sky.
WINNER: APACHE
Expert's Opinion[]
I'm glad I didn't write the battle when I was going to, because sock puppets would have made the Inca win. Luckily I waited months to write it, and the Apache are the true winners because of their guerrilla tactics perfect for an army-on-army fight - they would wait out until the situation was in their favor. Their alien fighting styles would confuse their foes from any region, and this is what carried them to victory.
To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.
Rematch Information[]
TBW
Note[]
This battle is a belated rematch of Aztec Soldier vs. Apache Warrior.
Battle vs. Philippine Revolutionary Army (by SPARTAN 119)[]
Apache: 
Filipino Insurrectionists:
A group of Apache Warriors, one on horseback, look around a path in a jungle in the Philippines, confused as to how they got there. Little do they know, they are being watched by a group of Filipino insurrectionists.
An insurrectionist takes aim with a Mauser 1893 and fires a single shot, hitting the mounted Apache right through the head, killing him . An Apache armed with a Winchester Model 73 sees the Filipino sniper and shoots out of the tree he was hiding in .
The other Filipinos come out from the jungle, weapons in hand. A Filipino insurrectionist runs out of the jungle with a sibat in hand, and impales a surprised Apache , only to be shot by another Apache with a bow and arrow. The arrow impacts the Filipino's throat, killing him .
The Apache with the bow is shot by a Filipino with a Colt M1892, but the bow Apache is only wounded and manages to draw his Colt Single Action Army and shoot the Filipino Insurrectionist in the face, blowing his head open . Unfortunately for the Apache, he is stabbed to death by a bolo-wielding Filipino .
The bolo-wielder is killed with a blow to the head with a tomahawk, the axe blade embedding into his skull . The last Filipino insurrectionist retreats along the jungle path. What the Apaches don't notice is that he specifically avoids a particular leaf-covered spot. One of the Apaches steps on the leaves and falls through into a punji pit. The Apache is wounded and immobilized by the stakes and finished off by three shots from a Colt M1892 Revolver .
The other Apache puts down the spear in his hands and draws his Colt Single Action Army, taking cover behind a tree. The two warriors exchange pistol shots, neither side scoring a lethal hit. Out of ammunition, the Filipino runs at the Apache with a bolo. The Apache puts down his his pistol and grabs the spear, thrusting it into the insurrection's chest from beyond the reach of the bolo, killing the last insurrectionist.
Expert's Opinion[]
While the Filipino's Mauser had better stopping power and reload speed than the Apache's Winchester, the Apaches took the other weapon categories, as well as several crucial X-factors.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Zande Warrior (by Goddess of Despair)[]
The Apache rides his horse slowly through the forest. The sun began to set behind him as he heard a rustling of some nearby bushes. Acting quickly, the Apache abandoned his horse and ran behind a tree. Ducking down, he readied an arrow and took aim.
Out from the bush emerged the Zande. The Apache examined him. Considering the size of the Zande, he must have been a warrior. The Apache fired his arrow, which met the Zande’s shield, penetrating slightly.
The Apache prepared to fire again, however he couldn’t find another arrow, having used the rest earlier against a Comanche group. The Zande hurled his Kpinga at the Apache, who quickly ducked beneath it. The Apache ran back to his horse, as the Zande armed himself with a Makrigga.
Removing a Tomahawk and club from the saddle, the Apache turned and hurled the Tomahawk at the Zande, the blade getting stuck in the shield he carried. The Zande threw the shield to the ground and charged, whilst yelling “Nyum Nyum!”
The Apache waited and at the right moment he dodged to the left, making the Zande thrust his spear into the horse. Before the African could react, the Apache slammed the pole with his Club, snapping it. Smiling, the Apache followed it up with a kick to the chest, making the Zande stumble back words.
Angered, the Zande turned and grabbed his Makraka off the ground as the Apache charged. The two weapons collided, the War club being split in two. The Apache delivered a swift kick to the Zande’s knee, and then drew his knife.
The Zande swung his Makraka but the Apache side stepped and slashed his arm. With a war cry, the Apache tackled the Zande, plunging his knife into the man’s chest. Tearing out his bloodied knife, the Apache brought the eapon to the Zande’s forehead and sliced off the flesh. Holding the scalp in the air, the Apache gave one last war cry in victory.
Expert's Opinion[]
While the Zande Warrior dominated up close, he really was hindered at long range. The Apache can fight well on all ranges, although inferior up close he can still rain death with arrows. The Zande is intimidating with his sharpened teeth, but the Apache has the better training and marksmenship. Overall the Zande just couldn't keep up at long range, which is why he lost.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Ancient Egyptian Soldier (by Pygmy Hippo 2)[]
Deir el-Medina, Egypt
All was calm in the village before a group of ten men showed up with axes, spears, and bows who were merely trying to ask where they were but due to the locals not knowing what they were saying and the weapons they were carrying, the populace started fleeing in terror. The commotion attracted a group of ten New Kingdom Soldiers who tried to end the threat before it got out of hand. "መሣሪያዎችዎን ይጥሉ!" (Put down your weapons!) "What?"
The Apache Warriors were even more confused than before at this odd language while the Soldiers were fed up with this and three in the back started firing arrows from their Hyksos Composite Bows while the others pulled out shields and melee weapons. One Warrior got a flint arrow in his left eye and a bronze arrow in his right and another got his rawhide shield punctured by a barbed iron arrow which cut open his arm before another landed in his throat. The Apache yelled out their war crys and started returning fire with their Bows, while most of the arrows hit leather-covered wooden shields and broke, an iron arrow hit an Egyptian archer in the eye and another was hit in the side.
The Warriors retreated and the New Kingdom Soldiers chased them before another of their archers fell over dead, a victim of rattlesnake poison. This distracted them long enough for another of their men to get his head bashed open from above by a War Club and another had his spine severed by a Native American Spear. The third member of the Apache ambush threw his Spear at an Egyptian's shield where it bent and didn't penetrate, leaving him shocked as his foe hurled an Egyptian Spear at him that hit his stomach.
The other Warriors were quickly dispatched with a stab to the neck from another Soldier's Spear and an Epsilon Axe splitting another's skull as the leader yanked his weapon and some innards out of his dying foe. He turned to see one of his men get a thrown Bowie Knife right between the eyes and another barely blocked a thrown Tomahawk with his shield before he was hit in the side of the head. The Apache and Egyptians went into an outright brawl as a pair slashed the New Kingdom Axe wielder's arm and leg with their Knives before slitting his throat and stabbing his spine while another pulled out a Mace and broke his foreign foe's ribs before crushing his skull with another swing.
The Soldier was fatigued however and in no position to prevent a Tomahawk to his forehead but that Warrior was quickly stabbed through the side by an Egyptian Spear in return. The leader left his Spear in the body and pulled out a Khopesh as their foe's own leader approached him with a rawhide shield and Tomahawk and the two took mock swings at each other as their men finished their bloody brawl. The Apache pair approached the final Egyptian who threw his Spear which they dodged but weren't prepared for him yanking away one of their Knives with a Khopesh and cutting that man's throat open.
The other Warrior gutted the Soldier in return but stumbled away after being hit with the blunt side of the Khopesh and looked up to see the blade coming down on his head, both collapsed a second later. The leaders grew tired of the duel and slammed their weapons into their shields, both got stuck but the Khopesh brought back the rawhide shield with it while the leather-covered wooden shield proudly displayed the Tomahawk. The Egyptian pushed his foe with his shield to the dirt and drew his Epsilon Axe just in time to slam it on the Apache's shoulder before he could reach him with the Bowie Knife.
The Apache Warrior staggered back in pain as he dropped his weapon and was left defenseless as the New Kingdom Egyptian Soldier calmly freed his Khopesh before letting a mighty swing loose that decapitated his foe. He kicked the head away before getting to the rooftop of a nearby building to inform the town of their Dynasty's triumph. "አዲሱ መንግሥት ወራሪዎችን አይወድቅም!" (The New Kingdom shall not fall to invaders!)
Winner:New Kingdom Egyptian Soldiers
Expert's Opinion[]
The Apache Warriors had an arguably equal blunt object weapon and their guerrilla tactics were something their opponents had never seen and would still be effective in their foe's own territory but the New Kingdom Egyptian Soldiers had almost every other edge from Short, Mid, and Long Range combat to a superior shield and some body armor. While the Apache faced more advanced foes, the Egyptians weren't far behind in experience and the benefits of being part of an Empire meant they were actually at least as, if not more, physically capable than their tribal foes.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. Sagittarius (by Appelmonkey)[]
TBW
Expert's Opinion[]
TBW
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.
Battle vs. Imperial Japanese Army (by MilitaryBrat)[]
Imperial Japanese: 
Apache: 
January 1940
5 Japanese soldiers have infiltrated the USA and have reached an Apache Indian reservation. They kill every one on the Reservation. 5 other Apache get back from a hunting trip and see the destruction. They spot the Japanese and the leader pulls out his Henry Rifle and shoots one of them.
The Japanese see this and one of them readies his Arisaka and kills an Apache. As they close the distance, the Apaches pull out there pistols. They kill one while a tomahawk is thrown at a Japanese soldier. The Japanese kill 1 Apache with a Nambu pistol.
The Officer kills an Apache with a katana and another is killed by bayoneting.
Te lead Apache, seeing his brothers killed gets him angry. He throws a tomohawk at the face of the soldier with the rifle and then takes it out and slits the Officer's throat and scalps him and lets out a war cry that is heard for miles around.
Expert's Opinion[]
The Apache dominated at long range, and the tomahawk decimated the Japanese up close. Combine their mildly superior weapons with their stealth abilities and they were able to defeat their better trained foes.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Reason[]
The battle was declared unfair for the Apaches because of the more advanced weapons of the IJA.
Battle vs. Zulu Warrior (by Codgod13)[]
n apache approaches a zulu in a clearing. Taking the american for a threat, the zulu yells and charges toward the apache. The native doesn't flinch, and fires an arrow at the zulu, but misses, and the zulu draws one of his two iwisa, and chucks it at the apache, the club hits the apache in the head, stunning him. This gives the zulu time to close in with his iklwa and thrust. However, the apache has recovered and draws a knife. After a few thrusts, the apache manages to cut the head off of the iklwa. The apache throws the knife into the zulu's shoulder, wounding him. The zulu yells, and the two warriors draw their axes. Having two weapons, the apache gains the advantage and disarms the zulu, only for the african to spit all over the apache, forcing him to turn away. The zulu pulls out a spare iwisa and smashes it against the apache's head, knocking him over and forcing him to drop his tomahawks. As the zulu swings again, the apache rolls away and leaps to his feet, drawing a spare knife. The zulu swings with the iwisa, but the apache dodges and gets in close with the knife, slashing the zulu multiple times across the torso. The apache flips backward, and throws the knife into the zulu's chest, who falls to his knees. The native draws his war club, and walks behind the zulu, the latter unable to turn around and see what's happening. Suddenly, with the trademark war cry, the apache smashes the club into the back of the zulu's head, killing him instantly.
Expert's Opinion[]
The Zulu was defeated because he didn't possess any truly effective long ranged weapons while the Apache's weapons were all able to be used at a distance.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Reason[]
The battle was declared invalid because the Zulu were given the spit of poison despite it not being a real weapon.
Battle vs. Ninja (by Goddess of Despair)[]
The three apaches are camping at a lake in the middle of the forest. The ninjas approach the camp as silent as possible. The ninjas step closer and closer until, snap. A ninja looks down to see he stepped on a branch. He looked up and was greeted with an arrow to the throat. He fell down grasping the arrow. Ninjas-2 Apaches-3
The two ninjas see their partner fall and look at each other. They look at the apache who killed their ally and the first ninja threw a shurikan. It stuck right in the apache’s shoulder causing him to grasp it in pain. A barrage off shurikans came flying at the other apaches who are forced to scatter. The injured one however falls back words riddled with shurikans all over his body. Ninjas-2 Apaches-2
The ninjas fall back into the woods as the apaches yell loudly and fire arrows at the ninjas. One hit a ninja in his lower back causing him to fall down in pain. The other ninja tore out the arrow and helped him up as they continued to retreat. The apaches charge after the ninjas continuing to yell as they split up to chase the ninjas in the woods. The wounded ninja hears a war cry of an approaching apache and looks for a spot to hide. He smells something odd and examines his surroundings. He sees several bodies covered in slash marks. He hears the apache closing in and lies down next to them. The apache enters the clearing the wounded ninja is at and looks around. Suddenly the ninja jumps up from the ground kama ready. The apache and the ninja lock knives and struggle to shove each other back. The apache draws his second knife and slashes at the ninja’s leg. The ninja falls down slightly then dies before the apache could strike again. The apache thinks for a second then realizes it was the poison from his arrow.
Ninjas-1 Apaches-2
The last ninja sees his comrade killed and ready’s his blow dart. As the apache looks and sees the last ninja he is hit mid chest by the dart. He gripped the dart then seconds later died from the poison.
Ninjas-1 Apaches-1
The last apache and the last ninja make eye contact. The ninja draws his ninjato and the apache draws two tomahawks. The ninja slashes horizontal and the apache parried the blade with his tomahawks and kicked the ninja back words, causing him to drop the ninjato. The ninja retreated to were the corpses of the other ninja and apache. He heard the apache approaching and readied a blowdart. He shot the dart at the apache as two tomahawks landed near his legs. The dart hit the apache in his arm but he ignored the pain and charged at the ninja.The ninja backed up slowly as the apche threw a knife at his knee. He roared in pain and tore out the bloodied blade and tossed it aside as the apache closed in. The apache swung his blade high and low yet the ninja parried it and counter striked each time with his kama. The ninja prepared to decapitate the apache with a final slash but the apache ducked and punched the knife wound. The ninja stumbled back words and then was tackled by the apache who put his knife to ninja’s throat and then gasped. He fell to the side dead from the poison. Ninjas-1 Apache-X
Expert's Opinion[]
The ninja and the apache were both great warriors. The apache was fierce but was not as stealthy as the ninja and could not compare with the martial arts the ninja mastered. The final factor that led to the ninja's victory was the fact that the apache's weapons were made of weaker matierial then the ninja's equipment.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.