User blog:Appelmonkey/Monthly News April 2019



Boy oh boy I really gotta start making these blogs earlier than I am currently doing. But then I am so busy will all that bunch of nothing.

Wiki News

 * I am sad to inform those that are unaware that El Alamein has deactivated his account and is thus unlikely to return to DF. He didn't leave a statement as to why so all we can do is speculate. EA, if you're reading this I think that I speak for the whole wiki when I say that we will miss your battle and more importantly miss you. Good luck with your academic pursuits, hopefully, I will read a thesis about WW2 battle tactics written by you. So long Grand Alameinian Inquisitor, may you slay the heretics that stand in your way.


 * We're motherf*cking billionaires! Our page for Hanna Heller has become the second Google search result for the character. We did it, folks! We can retire the wiki now.

Battle Advertisements

 * Hell School: A Cringe Tourney. Katana-wielding demons clad in black, cute nekos that adorable and perfect in every way, abominations that should have never seen the light of day. These kinds of creatures fight in Skully's Hell School cringe tourney! Which cringy OC (do not steal) will end up being the deadliest? Why don't you decide and vote you baka!


 * Nobody Survives Forever. SPARTAN 119 has decided to hop onto the battle royal bandwagon with his very own survival themed battle royal! 13 unique warriors are thrown on a deserted island with only one way of escaping: kill the other contestants. Which warrior will prove themselves to be the deadliest survivor?


 * Angron vs. Korg. Two futuristic gladiators clash in the arena both fight with savage blood lust and high tech weaponry. Both are famed for their strength and cunning in battle. But when two men enter the arena, only one man leaves.


 * Alain Lausard vs. Haytham Kenway. Tragedy can shape a person, for the better or worse. Thes two warriors, however, did not let their personal tragedy break them and instead, like the Phoenix, they rise from the ashes stronger than ever. Like Alain Lausard the noble turned thief who enlisted under Napoleon Bonepart and Haytham Kenway the Assassin turned Templar determined to bring order to the colonies.


 * Edward Hogger vs. Nabeshima Mochizuru. What's so civil about civil war? Brother against brother. Father against son. Families are torn apart. But during these savages wars, great men rise up to fight for the faith of their nation. Like Edward Hogger, the Confederate turned Unionist scout that went on several top secret missions for both sides. And Nabeshima Mochizuru, the daimyo who earned his stripes in the Boshin War.


 * Chester Nimitz vs. Karl Döntz. In terms of war the navy often gets overlooked by history fans, don't they? Which is a shame considering the Earth is covered in it. But in this battle, two WW2 admirals get their turn in spotlight. Chester Nimitz, the Chief of Navy who faced superior forces in the Pacific and still came out on top. And Karl Dönitz, Supreme Commander of the Kreigsmarine, who utilize wolf pack tactics with U-boats to strike fear into any ships entering his domain.


 * Professor Pyg vs. Herbert West. Humans are flawed, humans are weak, humans are mortal. And yet don't those qualities make us human in the first place? But not all view it that way and some insane scientifical minds try to perfect what cannot be and should not be perfect. Like Professor Pyg, Gotham's insane butcher seeking to make everything perfect. And Herbert West, the Reanimator who wants nothing more but to cure death at all costs.

World News

 * Throughout the United States, many arrests have been made following the investigation and discovery of a national cheating system to many universities and colleges. Many of these arrests are due to bribery in the form of donations to the selected school of choice to allow their children to enter the institution despite lacking or less than stellar scores. High profile CEOs and actresses find themselves in the crossfire as they are being brought up on charges and mocked for the scheme that has made national headlines. Among these bribes/donations to the universities, others have used examiners to personally take the test in the place of their children in order to guarantee their entry.
 * Tragedy has struck in New Zealand as the quiet nation was rocked by mosque shootings by an alt-right wing member killing dozens in his murder spree. The killings were committed during morning prayers as the defenseless members of the Muslim community were torn apart. The gun man has been arrested and denied access forms of media to see the results of his killings, as he wished to draw attention and profit from his crimes, but he will remain nameless here. Citizens of New Zealand joined in mourning and helped rebuild the mosques and repair any damages and have prepared funerals for the fallen.
 * Brexit is a thing, maybe. It might happen, but it got delayed. They recently decided to delay it again. So that’s nice, I think. Going to have issues trying to figure out this entire mess, but good luck, Wass
 * Italy has recently passed legislation that has banned school children from attending the system amid recent surges in measles outbreaks that have propped up throughout the country and the western world in general. Parents who attempt to turn their children into the school will be fined hundreds of Euros and their children turned away till the proper paperwork is filled and the vaccinations are given.
 * Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli has been placed in solairty confinement following reports that the criminal had been using a cell phone during his stint in prison to run his company. He’s known for defrauding investors and manipulating the stock of his company before his jail time and this will only add to his sentence or pain of being locked away in a cell. Martin Shkreli wishes to further his wealth while being in prison, as of now he is expected to be released by 2023, but with this evidence propping up, he may be in the SHU for a while longer.

Pop Culture

 * Starting with the movies. Captain Marvel a movie I actually have seen this month. While its enjoyable to watch (and kinda necessary to see if you want context for Avengers: End Game which will come out this month) it isn't any better than basically alright. Us is the second horror movie made by Jordan Peele and hot damn did it well with critics. If you were a big fan of Get Out than you will certainly enjoy this movie too. And lastly: Dumbo the latest movie in Disney's ongoing quest to remake all of their classic animated movies into live action. Just like the movies that came before it, it isn't able to escape mediocrity and just be an inferior version of its source, but at least it doesn't have any of the crows.


 * Lots to look forward to for the Spring Anime Season. One Punch Man Season 2 is coming up giving us more of the daily adventures of Saitama as he continues to one-shot every kaiju in his way. Isekai Quartet brings us a light-hearted crossover between KonoSuba, Overlord, Re:Zero, and Tanya the Evil. Gunjou no Magmel has an interesting premise where a new continent appears in the Pacific, starting the second age of exploration. And the last one that caught my eye was Kono Yo no Hate de Koi wo Utau Shoujo YU-NO where a young man receives a package from his missing father containing a strange device and a letter. This prompts him to go on a quest to parrel worlds in order to find his missing father. There are more anime coming up though so go exploring for some hidden gems.
 * The digital video game storefront the Epic Games Store has earned itself a few exclusive pc exclusive games in order to compete with Valve's Steam. These games include the upcoming Borderlands 3, Tom Clancy’s The Division 2, The Outer Worlds and Super Meat Boy Forever, though some of these games will also come out on other platforms a year later after their initial release. This has, of course, invoked the wrath of many pc gamers who are more used to Steam's familiar set up. If this will really give the Epic Games Store the boost it needs remains to be seen, but if it does it can only mean positive things for the consumer.


 * The documentary about Micheal Jackson's alleged child abuse called Leaving Neverland seemed to have divided audiences. It mainly focuses on Wade Robson and James Safechuck and their respective families as they tell their experiences with the King of Pop. Though some fans still staunchly deny that Jackson did anything, many others (including my mom) seemed to have come around to the idea that he really molested children when he was still alive.
 * All charges against Jussie Smollett have been dropped, despite most evidence pointing towards Smollet's police report about him being assaulted by two Trump supporters being false. Instead, Smollet has to pay a $10,000 bail and perform 16 hours of community service. The public court file also has been sealed, leading many to believe there were shading dealings going on behind closed doors. Smollett stands by his story and praised the decision, the mayor of Chicago, Rahm Emanuel, strongly criticized it saying it was a "whitewash of justice".


 * Rapper Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, better known as Cardi B, has come under fire after she bragged about drugging and robbing men during her time as a stripper. While she casually dismissed the criticism on her Twitter at first she later released an official statement saying that it was not "something [she] is proud of". Ironically there are two hypocrisies that surround this story. The first one being that it was not big and she mostly gets away with it because she is a woman. The second one is that she gets backlash in the first place considering many rappers have openly bragged about gangbanging, drug dealing and even murder.

Birthdays
Is it your birthday this month? Post the date and the age you will be in the comments and I add you on the list. Happy birthday!
 * Kriller99's birthday is ont he 2nd of April.

Battle of the Season
It is that time again, Battle of the Season! Users get one week to nominate their favorite battles that were written between January and March 2019. After the time is up I will post a poll where users can vote for their pick of Battle of the Season.