User blog:El Alamein/Lao Che's Gang vs. the Joker Gang



It's a battle of the inner-city's filthiest scum who will let lead fly over a simple insult! Lao Che's Chinese mafia, the vile mobsters who control Shanghai's underground with an iron fist and run nearly all of its illegal rackets, and the Joker Gang, well-armed, expendable but ruthless minions of the Joker who would kill one another at the drop of a dime! Neither group is very competent at achieving victory without leadership, and when both the Joker and Lao Che are taken out of the picture, how will these groups of men who live for money fare against each other? Handguns and submachine guns will determine the outcome of this battle to see who is the deadliest warrior!

Lao Che's Gang
The Lao Che gang is a Chinese mafia run by Lao Che. Operating in Shanghai, they own several nightclubs (like the Club Obi-Wan) and more likely than not run other illegal rackets through the city. In 1935, Indiana Jones comes to exchange a rare diamond for the stolen ashes of an ancient Chinese Emperor. The gangster poison Jones, though, and demand the diamond in exchange for his antidote, hoping to make away with both treasures. Indiana Jones grabs a flaming shish-kebab and throws it into the chest of one of Lao Che's sons, killing him, and a gunfight erupts. Indiana Jones secures the antidote and rushes to the streets of the city where his driver, Short Round (who is no more than a boy), awaits, and they speed off, with the Lao Che gang hot in pursuit. Although Jones escapes their clutches, the plane he boards to escape is piloted by Lao Che's men and they bail out over the mountains, leaving Jones and his friends in a falling plane to a certain death - but Jones being Jones, he takes an inflatable raft and escapes safely.

The Joker Gang
The Joker Gang are the gang led by the Joker in The Dark Knight. They are the standard type of Joker gangs, similar to those featured in other Batman media, most notably due to the fact that the Joker treats them like expendable buffoons. They follow Joker's commands blindly, going to the point of killing each other just because the Joker told them to. As a team, however, their handiwork at all aspects is unrivaled, and with Joker's leadership they successfully broke into the bank.
 * Dopey is the alarm disabler, who allowed the rest of the buglars to break into the bank. He is the first one to be killed, shot in the back by Happy. His mask features a drooping nose with blue paint on the tip, and red paint around the eyes and mouth. A tuft of brown hair sprouts at the top of the mask.
 * Happy is the vault opener, who killed Dopey and went inside to rendezvous with Grumpy. After revealing that he was ordered by the Joker to shoot Dopey, Grumpy remarks "Funny... I was told something similar." before killing Happy with several gunshots. His mask features a puckering face with blue paint around the mouth and eyes, and red paint on the nose and eyebrows, with a decent head of red hair sitting on the top of the mask.
 * Grumpy is one of the three bank robbers who broke into the bank. He met up with Happy, the the vault opener, and killed him per Joker's orders. After a brief standoff with the Joker in disguise, a bus plowed through the side of the bank and killed Grumpy. His mask features a grotesquely smiling face with a tuft of multicolored hair on the top and blue makeup around the eyes.
 * Chuckles the second of the bank robbers (the third being the Joker in disguise) and was the only clown who didn't kill a fellow bank robber and wasn't killed by one in return. After breaking into the bank and ordering people to get down, he was shot and killed by the bank manager. His mask features a face with bared teeth, blue paint around the eyes in a plus or cross pattern, and small blue eyebrows.
 * Joker's Bus Driver is the only gang member who has no known callsign. When Grumpy pointed his gun at the Joker, the bus drove through the side of the bank and killed him. The Bus Driver helped Joker to load the money into the bus, but when he asked the Joker where the other gang members are, was shot dead. His mask features tufts of blue hair on the side of a bald head with red paint over the eyes and over the wicked-looking smile on the face.

Battle:
To be written

Expert's Opinion
To be determined