User blog comment:WanderingSkull/Hell School: The Joke Tourney/@comment-17814994-20181111172806

Name: Putin in the House

Bio: In far away place of United Republic of Americussia, was born and lived a legend. A legend that echoes in the hearts and minds of all Americussians young and old, men and women, poor and slightly poor. His name was none other than Putin in the House, the Cорок Cедьмой-th president, former Hollywood star, KGB bear wrestler and murderous sex machine.

Putin in the House came from very humble beginnings. His father was a cowboy rancher/steppe shepherd and his mother, of unknown name, died while he was still in in her dreams. When his mother was dying, the great Putin in the House, hungry for powe... I mean helping other people... forced his way out of his mother's dreams and into the world through his sheer power and compassion. His father, a simple man, just looked at him eye widened and dumbfounded... before finally smiling and saying "BLYATIFUL!!!"

In just a span of 2 years of birthing years Putin in the House became a worlwide sensation. He was very famous in his high school and girls would go to him like hungry gulag prisoners hunting European turnips. He later graduated over 70 bachelor's degrees in Americussian colleges, joined the KGB becoming master spy, before finally becoming president all the while still banging like a boss. All the hopeful and free Amerucissians citizens look up him as he ascended the White House throne while saying to him, "BLYATIFUL!!!"

As President he went on to hunt for oil and bears for his native land. He conquered the evil fascist Antartican Empire in the South Pole, fought the LARGEST BEAR KNOWN TO MAN, became richest person in galaxy, married Amanda Seyfriend and Channing Tatum at same time, fought illegal aliens from outer space with galactic wall, promoted the liberal progressive groups like Anti-gun flower arrangement Club, and helped a certain do-not-name meme man into becoming a President of another inferior country.

And he did this as the world watched and said in admiration, "BLYATIFUL!!!"

Description: A very handsome man with Godlike macho physique that rivals even Hercules himself. His eyes have been desrcibed as a combination of the sparkle of a blood blue diamond that can heal the sick. He is perfect man in every way. (On a serious note, he's just a Russian man in the body of a young African-American boy)

Badass Level: BLYATIFUL!!!


 * Close: HANDS OF GOD