User blog:Samurai Santa Claus/Postal Dude vs The Crusader

The Postal Dude; The heavily armed psychopath who just wants to live his life as violently as possible

VS

The Crusader; The genocidal maniac who only seeks to wipe humanity off the face of the Earth

WHO

IS

DEADLIEST?

Postal Dude
"You probably thought you weren't gonna die today? Surprise!"

- The Dude

Weapons
Rifle: M16
 * Weight: 7.5 lbs
 * Cartridge: 5.56x45mm NATO
 * Action: Gas-operated, rotating bolt
 * Rate of Fire: 900 rpm
 * Muzzle Velocity: 3,000 fps
 * Effective Range: 600 yards
 * Feed System: 30-round detachable box magazine
 * Sights: Iron

Handgun: Desert Eagle
 * Weight: 4.4 ibs
 * Cartridge: .50 ACP
 * Action: Gas-operated, rotating bolt
 * Muzzle Velocity: 1750 fps
 * Range: 220 yards
 * Feed system: 7-round detachable stick magazine
 * Sights: Iron

SMG: MAC-11
 * Weight: 3.5 lbs
 * Cartridge: .380 ACP
 * Muzzle Velocity: 980 fps
 * Range: 54.6 yards
 * Feed System: 32-round detachable box magazine
 * Action: Straight blowback
 * Rate of Fire: 1200 rpm
 * Sights: Iron

Shotgun: Remington 870
 * Weight: 7.5 ibs
 * Cartridge: 12 gauge
 * Action: Pump
 * Muzzle velocity: 1,550 fps
 * Range: 55 yards
 * Feed system: 7+1 internal tube magazine
 * Sights: Bead

Heavy: M249
 * Weight: 22 ibs
 * Cartridge: 5.56x45mm NATO
 * Action: Gas-operated long-stroke piston, open bolt
 * Muzzle Velocity: 3,000 fps
 * Range: 2,300 yards (effective)-11,800 yards (maximum)
 * Feed System: 100-round box magazine
 * Sights: front blade and folding rear leaf with aperture and notch

Explosive: AT-4 HS "The Rocket Launcher is another weapon that need not hit the target directly to have an effect – it imparts a considerable amount of damage when the rocket explodes. Keep in mind that this weapon requires time to fuel before firing. The longer you fuel the rocket (by holding down primary fire) the farther it will be able to travel. If a rocket runs out of fuel during flight, it will fall to the ground and detonate on impact. If you fuel a rocket completely, as indicated by the fuel meter, you will hear a confirmation that “seeking mode” is engaged. The rocket will “lock on” to whatever target the crosshairs are over when the fire key is released and will tirelessly attempt to hunt down that target. Secondary fire is similar to primary fire except it allows you to fully fuel a rocket without engaging seeking mode. Such a rocket will travel extremely far before running out of fuel." — The rocket launcher's description in the manual Melee: Boomerang Machete In Postal Dude's hands it can easily slice through bone and even be thrown like a boomerang, bouncing off of walls, slicing enemies to bits, and eventually return to the thrower's hands. Hot weapon: Napalm Launcher "The Napalm Launcher need not hit the target directly since it results in massive amounts of apocalyptic flames and all. It can fire relatively long distances, and is not recommended inside closed spaces unless you happen to be a Tibetan monk. Primary fire will cause a canister to be launched straight ahead, leaking napalm all the way. The canister will explode on first contact and ignite any napalm behind it. Secondary fire will cause a canister to be launched that will bounce around wildly, spewing out napalm after the first bounce. The canister will explode after coming to rest, igniting the trail of napalm it just laid." — The Napalm Launcher's description in the manual Armor: SiC body armor
 * Weight: 18 lbs
 * Ammunition: Fin-stabilized projectile with HEAT warhead
 * Muzzle Velocity: 950 fps
 * Range: 328-546.8 yards
 * Sights: iron
 * Blade length: 17 inches
 * Materials: High-carbon Steel
 * Weight: 2.5 lbs
 * Postal Dude made this weapon himself. It seems to have similar stats to the AT-4, except it's likely lighter.

SiC is the chemical formula for Silicon Carbide, a widely used material made of carbon and silicon. SiC is widely used in machinery applications, synthetic jewelry, and as a partial component to military grade ceramic armor. The armor itself tough enough to survive a direct hit from an explosion.

The Crusader
"My name is not important. What is important is what I'm going to do. I just fucking hate this world and the human worms feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred and I always wanted to die violently. This is the time of vengeance and no life is worth saving. And I will put in the grave as many as I can. It's time for me to kill and it's time for me to die. My genocide crusade begins here."

- Very edgey boi

Weapons
Rifle: AK-47 Handgun: Glock 17 SMG: MP5A5 Shotgun: Mossberg 500 Heavy: M79 Grenade Launcher Explosive: Mk 153 SMAW Melee: M9 Bayonet Hot weapon: M9-7 Flamethrower
 * Weight: 6.8 lb
 * Cartridge: 7.62x39mm
 * Action: Gas-operated, rotating bolt
 * Rate of Fire: 600 rpm
 * Muzzle Velocity: 2,350 fps
 * Effective Range: 380 yards
 * Feed System: 30-round detachable box magazine
 * Sights: 100-800mm adjustible iron sights
 * Weight: 1.88 lbs
 * Cartridge: 10mm Auto
 * Action: Semi-auto, recoil operated
 * Muzzle Velocity: 1,230 fps
 * Effective Range: 55 yards
 * Feed System: 15-round box magazine
 * Sights: Iron
 * Weight: 6 lbs
 * Cartridge: 9x19mm Parabellum
 * Muzzle Velocity: 1,033 fps
 * Range: 109 yards
 * Feed System: 40-round detachable box magazine
 * Action: Roller-delayed blowback, closed bolt
 * Rate of Fire: 800 rpm
 * Sights: Iron. Rear: rotary drum; front: hooded post
 * Weight: 7.26 lbs
 * Cartridge: 12-gauge
 * Action: Pump
 * Muzzle velocity: 1,325 fps
 * range: 55 yards
 * Feed system: 8-round internal tube magazine
 * Sights: Bead
 * Weight: 6.45 lbs
 * Cartridge: 40x46mm grenade
 * Action: Break
 * Rate of fire: 6 rpm
 * Muzzle Velocity: 247 fps
 * Range: 383 yards
 * Sights: Leaf
 * Weight: 30 lbs
 * Ammunition: 83mm rocket
 * Muzzle Velocity: 720 fps
 * Range: 273-533 yards
 * Sights: iron
 * Blade length: 7 inches
 * Materials: 420 Stainless Steel
 * Weight: 11 ounces
 * Weight: 50 lbs
 * Range: 82 feet
 * Capacity: 4 gallons
 * Firing Time: 9 second bursts

Armor: Bullet proof vest

A kevlar vest used by police officers that can stop bullet penetration, stabs, and spike attacks. However, explosives and edged weapons are it's achilles heel.

X-Factors
Physicality: Postal Dude is strong enough to punch open closed doors, fire his Desert Eagle(s) without loosing accuracy from recoil, completely obliderate a human skull with one swing of a baseball bat, fast enough to redirect a rocket from an AT-4 with a kick, tough enough to get tazed and not even be effected by it, and even survived a bullet to the brain (although he needed medical attention imediatley after); The Crusader is strong enough to ram his knife through someone's skull, kick doors of their hinges, and tough enough walk through gun fire, but he can still be killed with enough fire power.

Expirience/Skill: Postal Dude's life can be best described as absolute chaos. He's fought hippies, video game protestors, SWAT, ATF, Rednecks, cannibalistic butchers, bank robbers, terrorists, vegans, zombies, living skeletons, robots, crazy hockey moms, murderous nerds, the Venezuelan army, the National Guard, and Gary Coleman. He has been shown to use cover and can effectivly weild any weapon he gets his hands on; The Crusader easily deals with random civilians that sometimes have guns, police officers, SWAT, soldiers, junkies, and politicians. He seems to rely soely on brute force and overwhelming fire power

Brutality: Postal Dude is probably the only person i can think off who'll blow your legs off with a shotgun, just to set you on fire with a spray can and lighter, chop your arms off with an axe, piss on you to put it out, and then proceed to smash your head in with a sledge hammer all while saying an epic one-liner; The Crusader, just watch this

Abilities: Postal Dude posses telekenetic abilities, being able to lift and toss people around like ragdolls, pull weapons towards him, tear doors off of their hinges, lift and throw cars, and even control the tregectory of thrown objects. He also can also piss hard enough to put out acual, literal FIRE; When The Crusader kills someone, he absorbs the anguish and hatred from their veary soul, which heals a portion of his health

Theme song:  Postal's theme ; Hatred's theme