User blog comment:Lasifer/The Sick-Minded Slashers vs The Classic Creepers Re-match/@comment-143604-20120414002550

Drayco90's Edgy Edges of Edginess


 * Freddy vs. Dracula- The Classic Creepers. Freddy is a shifty little shit, but he lacks real creative vision- he has no real fighting skill; the dude's just a big ol' Uncle Badtouch who spends most of his time dealing with people who can't hit him back. At the end of the day, Freddy Krueger is a coward, and while his Blade Glove is a pretty effective weapon, it's not really going to slow down or stop Dracula. The Count has a massive supply of abilities that Freddy won't see coming- from his oft forgotten shapeshifting into a wolf (and a bat), the hypnosis and flight- with the addition of his natural superhuman level of strength, speed, durability and his massive edge in intellegence, and this is an easy win for Dracs. He simply has more powers, and a higher intellegence to use them more strategically.


 * Jason vs. The Wolf-Man- The Classic Creepers. Jason is one of the most overrated and ineffective "threats" to ever "grace" the silver screen. He's slow, he's lumbering, he's DUMB and has no real higher thought process than "lets go stab some random teenagers...because SEX IS BAD, and my own mother was a thousand times more intimidating, and interesting, than I can ever hope to be!", and while I'm not exactly calling Talbot a genius, he is prone to animal urges and can really be as a raving beast, but it's still far more than Jason seems capable of, and with Jason's slow ass speed being akin to a zombie shuffle, the far more mobile Wolf-Man will be able to leap about, clawing and slashing, and whittling down Vorhees, hit-and-run style, while the hockey-masked dumbshit won't be able to swing his machete fast enough to land a decent hit. Even if he does, the Wolf-Man isn't going to go down easy unless Jason coats his machete in silver or something- his own increased durability and strength will allow him to keep fighting if Jason lands a few lucky blows in. Jason may be good at killing unarmed or unprepared, or even just plain stupid teenagers, but he's not a warrior, and he's not going to be able to hold his own against the Wolf-Man. He's also not on the same level as his mother's legacy, because she was the main villain of the only good Friday 13th movie.


 * Mike Meyers vs. Frankenstein's Monster- The Classic Creepers. Micheal Meyer's main weapon won't be able to do much damage to the monster before it either breaks or is disarmed- Mike is another person not used to fighting enemies as tough as he is, and once he's disarmed pretty quick, this will end up being a knock-out, drag-out brawl for supremecy based on two simple factors- who can do the most damage, and who can take the most punishment. I simply believe that, in a raw fist to fist throwdown, Franky's Monster is going to have the edge in both- and neither will stop hitting until the other goes down. I almost gave this one an even, it's incredibly close, but I just think the Frankenstein's Monster has demonstrated more power and more durability. Something's got to give, after all- even in a case of unmovable object hitting another unmovable object.


 * Leatherface vs. Gill-Man- This one depends entirely on where the combat will be. If it's an arid area, Leatherface will be able to overcome Gill-Man eventually, but if there's more cover or water, than Gill-Man's stealthier, stronger and faster nature will allow him to overcome Leatherface. Leatherface's big drawbacks are his herps and derps, and the fact that his primary weapon is next to useless in most cases, but unless the Gill-Man has some enviromental factors, he's not going to be enough of a benefit out of the water to take on the serial killer.


 * Chucky vs. Quasimodo- The Classic Creepers. Chucky is kind of a glass cannon, and while Quasimodo is no Micheal Meyers in terms of damage absorbing, his own intellegence and mobility will allow him to avoid a lot of Chucky's attack styles, which are usually quite easy to see coming, and while his weapons aren't quite as kill-oriented as Chucky's, his superior intellegence will allow him to use them to keep the doll back, and the rope can be used to set traps or disable Chucky for a brief period of time. At the end of the day, Chucky is probably one of the most fragile warriors in this fight, and a few solid hits can put the little doll out commision- I don't think someone of his intellegence level or size will deal enough damage to a prepared and thinking warrior to make up for his realtive fragility.


 * Ghostface vs. Phantom of the Opera- The Sick Minded Slashers. Ghostface may be the weakest member of the Sick Minded Slashers, he is also their secret weapon. What the Phantom contains in intellegence and class, Ghostface counters in pure genre savvy. He knows horror, he knows how to deal with horror, and he know horror tropes well enough to play them to his own advantages. Add in the glock and the superior stealth, and Ghostface will easily out-perform the Phantom. Even though Scream is one of the worst movies I've ever been subjugated into watching, and Ghostface is one of the dumbest horror characters ever, I still don't think in terms of warriors, that the Phantom will be able to cope.


 * Harry Warden vs. Norman Bates- The Sick-Minded Slashers. He isn't as smart or stealthy as Bates, but Bates' own insanity is pretty crippling, while a lot of Warden's own crazy only makes him more dangerous. His weapon is superior, with better reach, penetration, force and more uses, and his miner suit will provide more protection than Bates' civvies. Normie is outclassed in this category, simple as that.


 * Maniac Cop vs. Imhotep- the Classic Creepers. Imhotep gets this for two simple reasons- he is incredibly intellgent, and has telekinetic powers. Combine those traits, and it's a freaking party. Maniac Cop may be strong, durable and wielding better weapons, but that won't matter if Imhotep is just devestating him with a far superior set of mental abilities that will leave the Cop incapable of even figthing back. The fight probably won't even move into closer ranges where the Maniac Cops strength can help him, and even if it does, I think Imhotep is still smart enough and skilled enough to distance the Cop again, or simply do some significant damage on his own and take the cop down.


 * Chop Top vs. Mr. Hyde- The Sick-Minded Slashers. While Hyde can outmove and outsmart Chop Top, I think this one will barely go to the Slashers, due to Chop Top's superior durability and better weaponry. He'll be able to dwindle down Hyde's health easier than the Classic Creeper can return the favor, and it'll end up being a batlle of wills. Plus, if Chop Top IS going down, than Leatherface's blind devotion may cause a problem for Hyde, which can prove enough of a distraction to take Hyde down himself.


 * Deadliest Warriors- The Classic Creepers. You just can't win against the better movies. Classics are classics for a reason, and maybe it's time these old-time masters of fright teach these new age losers a thing or two. The Slashers are, for the most part, dumb and slow- they lumber about with only one strategy, "stabbity stabbity stabbity bulletsponge, stabbity climatic death, handwave return for declining quality sequel", while the rest of the Creepers are far more intellegent, can plan, are much more creative and simply better prepared and with a much more diverse set of powers. The Slashers just don't have what it takes to get out of the shadows of their far superior predecesors.