User blog comment:Cfp3157/Desire Makes Beasts of Men: Gaston vs. Clayton/@comment-3189283-20160415210041

Let's see shall we

Clayton loses here for several reasons. He's not as slick as Gaston, nor is he as quick as Gaston. His neck is not as incredibly thick as Gaston's. He's not a perfect and pure paragon nor is he a king pin like Gaston and he lacks a distinctive cleft in his chin, something which Gaston does indeed possess. He is not an intimidating speciman and he's really just a drip like the rest. He doesn't fight like Gaston, douse lights like Gaston and when in a wrestling match he does not bite like Gaston. He's not as burly or brawnly as Gaston, who has biceps to spare owning to the fact that not a bit of him is scraggly nor scrawny and every last inch of him is covered in hair, unlike Clayton whose lack of body hair is disturbing to say the least. He doesn't hit like Gaston, match wits like Gaston and if they were ever in a spitting contest he can't spit like Gaston (he's especially good at expactorating don't you know).

Gaston has gone through a vigorous training regime since childhood where he would eat four dozen eggs every morning. Now that he is grown he eats five dozen eggs and this has lead to him being roughly the size of a barge. Clayton cannot shoot like Gaston, he can't make those beauts like Gaston and once he's finished he doesn't go tromping around wearing boots like Gaston. The only thing that Clayton matches Gaston in is that both use antlers in all of there decorating. What a guy that Gaston is eh?

Seriously though, my real vote will be up soon.