User blog comment:WanderingSkull/Hell School: The Joke Tourney/@comment-27358240-20181025011905

Name: Arctotherium "Short Face" Angustidens

Age: Uknown

Sex: Female

Bio: Short Face hails from the universe of Kemono  Friends (besto kawaii aniime evah desu) in which she was originlly progrmmed to be a biological weapon to be used by the Japanese government until the technology of infusing girls with animal DNA was used for entertainment purposes. As such, Short Face never saw action until she was born in a lab in the deepest undergroud of Japari Park. Ever since then, Short Face has been the best cerullean hunter in the world and has killed even the extradimensional demon god overlords of the Kemono Friends universe. After eradcating all and every bad guy from the universe, she married Kaban and lived happily ever after, because why the fuck would a Short Face Bear waifu not marry a  GENDER AMBIGUOUS  underaged human girl.

Description: Arctotherium is the best waifu. Her power is only rivalled by her beauty, which made every neko waifus int he series want to fuck her. Her hair is grizzly brown and is adorned with bear ears, a must have to be the best waifu. Her bust is the biggest in fiction and her mere sight is enough to make anybody collapse. She wears a bear fur coat because she's a bear friend.

Short: Claws and fangs. Being a bear friend, her claws and jaws are strong enough to kill gods and shatter diamonds. Because a short faced bear is much stronger than a grizzly bear, one claw swipe is enough to decapitate anyybody in the omniverse.

Mid: Bear paw mace. The same wielded by vitually all bears in the series. Strong enough to shatter obsidian and murder nigh-omnipotent (I learned this word from Catoon Fight Club) gods like the Great Cerullean.

Long: Kamehameha. Arctotherium has defeated Goku, raped him and ate his flesh, which gave her the power to use all of his ki and god ki attacks.

Special: Za Warudo Over Heaven. Arctotherium killed Dio because someone said Jojo is best anime, and that's not true. Kemono is bestterest than any anime in the entirre hole world. Now, she has Za Warudo Over Heaven.

Iconic: Roar. Being a bear friend, Arctotherium can roar loud and majesticalillyfully enough to make anybody fear, respect and venerate her. Anybody who hears it will se her as their god and mistress and follow her all and every order.

Armor: Bear fur. Arctotherium, being a bear, has fur that deflects all and every form of attack. Real life bears have survived being hit by trucks thanks to their fur. Short Face, being a friend, has even tougher fur, even in places where he doesn't have fur. She was capale of deflecting attacks from Goku, the Great Cerulelan, who can eat entire multiverses, Over Heaven Dio, who can overwrite reality. She therefore can aso resist reality warping.

Ability 1: Reality Warping. I don't really know what tat means but she can do it better than anybody ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever.

Ability 2: Unpralleled beauty and cuteness. Short Face made all Friends in Japari Park fall in love with her. Beings of all genders and species, including nekos and furries, are unable to resist her charm. Being the best waifu, she is also impossible to charm because she is already madly in love with Kaban-chan.

Abiity 3: Soulrape. Arctotherium can rape her enemies' souls into nothingness, gaining their powers and abilities in the process. However, this is never rape, because it's not rape if their pupils turn into hearts.

Ability 4:  Best anime. Kemono Friends is best anime. Nothing beats it.  Deal with it. 

Ability 5: Domination. Being a bear, Short Face is dominant over all of her enemies and sex partners.

Ability 6: Fuck Kemono Friends. Havin' a hot day guys? Kazanshin arrives in an explosion. Here I am, hijacking into this pityful OC's abilities, just to tell you that if you plan on watching Kemono Friends, don't. Seriously, don't. The thing has ruined my life. Kancolle was already bad enough, this bullshit must not be taken seriously. Fuck, they even managed to collab with the zoo I part time worked at. All I wanted was to have a tate of spicy memes in Niconico but no, the place is infested with Kemono. Please, help me fight this threat once and for all. Join the Thot Slayer Brigade now and join us in the battle. I can't keep this hijack much longer, so I'll be leavin 'ya all now. I'll see you on the slaying field, eh? Until then, stay fired up, this is Kazanshin out.

Ability 7: Vore. While she ussually prefers to rip people'S flesh apart when eating them, as mentionned in ability 6, her most powerfu ability by far, she can swallow people whole for some vore fetish. Eating her enemies grant her their powers, just like soulrape.

Ability 8: Wild release. Her super form which gives her a 985231750987509814895187548989518409758419875481927357290187513075209570958735982750985370935790537530537893575984674638705386738107548179231580273985126890% power increase. There is no time limit.