User blog:Appelmonkey/Monthly News July 2018



Summer is here boys. Time to get in the sun, go to the beach, get a tan and a annoying sun burn.

Wiki News

 * Yeah not a whole lot happened this month, but is the lack of news not somehow newsworthy?

World News

 * Been about a month, but the absolute madman Kim Jung Un is back at again making headlines in the DF News section. North Korea’s most recent actions have both been unexpected and completely in line with their history as to how they conduct their usual business. In less than a month of meeting American and South Korean leadership, absolute unit Kim has gone back on his word continued the development of nuclear facilities across North Korea. Many had hoped the recent meetings would restore good will between the three nations and progressed on a path of peace and reunification, but current events seem to be contrary to these hopes. For what its worth, North Korea has cancelled its yearly anti-US parade.


 * I did not see this in Appel’s section, so I’m putting it in my own, nobody can stop me here and the hit to children everywhere. Toys R’ Us has finally shut down the last of its locations across the United States and will be officially declared a defunct business after generations of serving its customers. This is a more personal section mainly because I had a lot of love for the toy store as a child, its where I got my first Gameboy, I’ll never forget that dark blue beauty entering my hands for the first time along with the first game I got for it: Yu-Gi-Oh! Worldwide Edition: Stairway to the Destined Duel. I remember wanting Pokemon Ruby, but never finding it when we were about to buy it, lo and behold I found it the moment we were going to leave the store. It was too late then, but I’ll never forget that little moment in my life, I did get Pokemon Sapphire later and had a blast playing it. Appel's edit: Meh, Bart Smith was better.
 * The final months of the Toys R’ Us history have been filled with scandal as the company was effectively used as a scapegoat for numerous debts, so its new major shareholders and leadership could receive a larger check at the end of its life. With many of the employees who had served the company loyally for decades being screwed out. Said employees are attempting to band together for one last shot at being compensated for what was effectively a scheme. I just wanted to say thank you to that store which made a little boy in Jersey have some great memories. If any of you have memories of the store, I’d like for you to share it in the comments, it may not be much considering the store is now gone, but I figure it would be nice to reflect on the nice times the store has given us.
 * Bill Gates, the man who has infinite pockets has recently donated $4 million into a project designed to create mosquitos that kill other mosquitos with the power of sex. This is an attempt to curb issues with malaria that still plague developing parts of the world. Now I know what you’re wondering, no, these mosquitos will not attack you as the ones being created are male which do not bite humans, only the females do that. The company behind the project has been noted for their previous genetic modification of mosquitos that have killed carriers of the Zika virus, noted for having reduced their population to as high as 90% in some areas.


 * Longtime member of the Supreme Court, Anthony Kennedy has announced his retirement from the position after years of distinguished service. The 81-year old Kennedy has noted that he is retiring from his position to spend as much time as possible with his family for the remainder of his life and is proud to have served his country for long as he has through numerous decisions that the court has ruled upon. President Trump thanked Kennedy for his service after accepting his resignation from the position, saying Kennedy was a “"great justice" who has displayed "tremendous vision and heart. A list of candidates to take up the vacant seat on the Supreme Court has been narrowed down to five candidates as of recent developments in this story.

Popcultre

 * Starting off the popculter section with some news of last month that happened after I posted the last news blog. Gorilaz has returned with a new album called The Now Now and as usual it's fucking great, but that's not all. Because bass player Murdoc is jail they have gotten none-other than b-list Powerpuff Girls villain Ace from to replace him.


 * We got two big movies this month, both sequels because Hollywood has no new ideas. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, this time Chris Pratt has to save the dinos from the island instead of the people from the dinos. To be honest, this movie was actually kind of shit, just go watch the original on Netflix or something. Second is the long-awaited obvious cash grab The Incredibles 2 which just ends up being sort off alright if you ask me, nothing special but enjoyable.
 * Koko the gorilla famous for being able to talk through sign language has died of old age. Other than being a really clever girl, she has been known for owning numerous kittens which she tenderly cared for and being a personal friend of Robbin Williams. May she along with Harambe smile down on us from the heavens. Pussies out for Koko y'all. Second celeb death, Joe Jackson, father of Micheal Jackson has died at the age of 89 due to terminal pancreatic cancer. The patriach of the Jackson family remains a highly controversial figure for having abused his sons when they were young.


 * E3 has rolled around this year and we got a good look at some future video games and boy where to begin? Microsoft gave us a shit ton of games including a Battletoads remastering, Halo Infinite, Kingdom Hearts III, Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice aka the other Dark Souls in Japan, Devil May Cry 5, and a Cuphead sequel called The Delicious Last Course. Bethesda gave us more looks at Doom Eternal, Fallout 76 which will be a multiplayer game, and fucking The Elder Scrolls VI. Ubisoft gave us Assassin's Creed: Odyssey which as the name suggest plays out in ancient Greece. Sony who had a delightful music show along with showing off The Las of Us 2. And lastly Nintendo with Smash Bros Ultimate which has every character that ever appeared in the series including some newcomers.
 * JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: Vento Aururo anime has been confirmed! During the JoJo Exhibition: Ripples of Adventure art exhibition the creator himself came down from the heavens riding two golden horses and brought his creations to life which revealed the anime adaptation through an elaborate musical number followed by DIO screaming out the month when the first season will air. JoJo Fridays are fucking coming back! Araki bless us!


 * Rapper, singer, and songwriter Jahseh Dwayne Ricardo Onfroy, known under the stage name XXXTentacion, has been murdered at a motorcycle dealership in what investigators think to be a robbery. Multiple fans and fellow rappers have expressed their sadness over XXXTentacion's death. As a side note, this also caused his track Sad! to beat Taylor Swift's Look What You Made Me Do record for most single-day streamings on Spotify.


 * Disney has officially bought Fox thus having another skull to drink liquid money out off. This also means that Fantastic Four, X-Men, and Deadpool will now be added in the MCU. Let's hope that Marvel did the same for these properties as they did with Spider-Man: Homecoming, don't wanna see another Fan4stic.


 * In case you all forgot Solo: A Star Wars Story was a Star Wars spin-off movie focusing on Han Solo's early life. I am telling you guys this cause it was so forgettable and shit that it turned the once golden goose that was the Star Wars series into a lead ugly duck and forced Disney to reassess any potential spin-off films in the future.

Birthdays
Is it your birthday this month? Say the date and your age in the comments and I will add you on the list!

Battle of the Season
It's that time again, Battle of the Season. Post your favourite battles of the last three months in the comments and a poll will be up later when where you can vote for the best battle.