User blog comment:LB&SCR/April Fool's Presidential Duels: Beatdown/@comment-35680048-20190401144006

Tybaltcapulet's " I do solemnly swear that I will support an asskicking of all y'all" Placements:

1st Out: I'm so sorry, but BATHTUB BOI is done first. This comes down to how disgustingly fat Taft is, and being unable to keep up with his smaller, and lighter adversaries. The strain on his heart will be something that Taft isn't generally equipped to handle. His boxing experience sounds great, but against other athletes and literall soldiers, Taft isn't gonna last too long.

2nd Out: Unconditional Surrender is the next to fall, due to his complete lack of regular fighting experience. Grant is much much better suited to a commander role, as shown in his Civil War experience. His health isn't that bad, only really having that annoying migrane issue, but lacks relevant fighting experience to get any higher than 2nd to last place.