Pukwudgie/Bio & Battles

"Whatever the Pukwudgie's in the mood for that day, that's the destruction that he lets loose."

- Robin Bellamy, a so-called expert in paranormal studies

Pukwudgies, alternative spelling Puk-Wudjie, are 2-to-3-foot-tall beings from the Wampanoag folklore. Pukwudgies' features resemble those of a human, but with enlarged noses, fingers and ears. Their skin is described as being a smooth grey, and at times has been known to glow.

Legends of the Pukwudgie began in connection to 'Maushop', a creation giant believed by the Wampanoag to have created most of Cape Cod. He was beloved by the people, and the Pukwudgies were jealous of the affection the Natives had for him. They tried to help the Wampanoag, but their efforts always backfired, until they eventually decided to torment them instead. They became mischievous and aggravated the Natives until they asked 'Granny Squanit', Maushop’s wife, for help. Maushop collected as many as he could. He shook them until they were confused and tossed them around New England. Some died, but others landed, regained their minds and made their way back to Massachusetts.

Satisfied he had done his job and pleased his wife, Maushop went away for a while. In his absence, the Pukwudgies had returned. They again changed their relationship with the Wampanoags. They were no longer just a nuisance but began kidnapping children, burning villages and forcing the Wampanoag deep into the woods and killing them. Squanit again stepped in, but Maushop, being very lazy, sent his five sons to fix the problem. The Pukwudgies lured them into deep grass and shot them dead with magic arrows. Enraged, Squanit and Maushop attacked as many as they could find and crushed them, but many escaped and scattered throughout New England again. The Pukwudgies regrouped and tricked Maushop into the water and shot him with their arrows. Some legends say they killed him, while others claim he became discouraged and depressed about the death of his sons, but after these events, Maushop disappears from the Wampanoags' mythology.

Battle vs. Jacobites (by KevlarNinja)
Pukwudgie: 12345

Highlander: 12345

A group of Highlanders were going to attck a english camp, only to find it already ransacked and smoldering. There leader, in a Adams tartar, hears cakleing. Suddenly, a highlander is hit in the neck with a tiny arrow!

Highlander: 1234

They turn and see a group of Pukwudgie. One Highlander throws a Ball and Chain, which smashes a Pukwudgie.

Pukwudgie: 1234

The two groups charge at each other. A Highlander cuts off a Pukwudgie's head with his Claymore.

Pukwudgie: 123

A Pukwudgie throws a poison dart at the claymore Highlander.

Highlander: 123

The dart Pukwudgie lights another Highlander on fire.

Highlander: 12

One Highlander pulls out a War Hammer and smashes the Pukwudgie on the head.

Pukwudgie: 12

The Highlander crushes a Pukwudgie with his Targe. He brings the Targe up to see a bloodly mess on the Targe's spike.

Pukwudgie: 1

The Pukwudgie leader jumps on the Highlanders back and smashes his skull with his club.

Highlander: 1

The Pukwudgie leader tries to do the same to the Highlander leader, but the Highlander picks him up by the neck so he cna't move. The angry rebel says "No one; English or demon; crosses me and lives." and impales the Pukwudgie on his Dirk.

Pukwudgie:

The Leader pulls out his Dirk and yells in victory, holding up the bloodly dagger.

 Winner: Highlander 

Expert's Opinion
The Pukwudgie were too small and their weapons didn't have the killing potential that the weapons of the Highlanders did.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Commando Elite (by KevlarNinja)
Commando Elite: 12345

Pukwudgie: 12345

In a neighborhood at night, a convoy of Commando Elite Disk Shooter vehicles, led by Major Chip Hazard, are going through the street. Up the street, there is a house with a tribe of Pukwudgies, who chased the people who lived there away. It's like that movie Gremlins, only the Pukwudgie are chattering in Wampanoag. One is standing guard at the front door. Meanwhile, at the convoy, the Commando sniper, Butch Meathook shouts "Gorgonites! In that house!" and points at the guard. The Commandos quickly fire the guard full of disks.

Pukwudgie: 1234

The Pukwudgies﻿ hear this and come over to the window and see the dead guard. Chip Hazard shouts "There will be no mercy!" One Pukwudgie looks at Brick Bazooka's Disk Shooter, which soon lights on fire, slowly﻿ melting the vehicle and Brick.

Commando Elite: 1234

Across the street, the light from the flames wakes up a small boy. He gets up and looks out the window, then calls back into his room "Mom! Dad!" Soon his parents are watching too... Meanwhile, back across the street, the Fire-Starter Pukwudgie high-fives the Pukwudgie leader. A third Pukwudgie pulls out his bow and arrow. He fires an arrow and hits Butch Meathook in the head.

Commando Elite: 123

Nick Nitro, the Commando demolition expert, picks up a stick of Dynamite. The Pukwudgie archer falls out the window. Nick lights the stick and throws it at the archer. The other Pukwudgies run away. The stick lands in the archer's hands. He tries to blow out the fuse, but it does not work. The stick goes off, sending pukwudgie parts everywere and takeing out of chunk of the house.

Pukwudgie: 123

This wakes up everyone in the nieghborhood, who call the cops. The Commandos rush inside. One Pukwudgie throws a dart, which hits the Commando Communications expert Link Static right in the chest.

Commando Elite: 12

Chip Hazard and Kip Kiligan (the operations expert) split up. Kip finds the Fire-Starter Pukwudgie. He sneaks up behind him and throws his shuriken at the back of his head.

Pukwudgie: 12

Kip goes into the kitchen. On the countertop, the Dart Pukwudgie is looking for more commandos, but does not see Kip. Kip climbs up the side. Suddenly, Kip grabs the Pukwudgie's neck.

Pukwudgie: 1

Kip climbs up onto the top of the counter. Out of nowhere, the Pukwudgie leader charges at Kip, and bashes him do death with his club.

Commando Elite: 1

From up in the shafters, Chip Hazard drops down. The Pukwudgie tries to bash Chip, but only hits him in the arm. Chip kicks the club out of the Pukwudige's hands. The two pint-sized warriors grapple and Chip flips the Pukwudgie into the sink. Chip walks over to a light switch and says "We are The Commando Elite! Everything else is just a toy!" Chip then flips on the switch, turning on the Garbage Disposal, shredding the Pukwudgie to bits.

Pukwudgie:

Chip salutes his fallen men and walks away.

 Winner: Commando Elite 

Expert's Opinion
The Commando Elite won because they were more organised and professional than the Pukwudgie.

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.