User blog:Jackythejack/My Texan Valentine Massacre: Leatherface vs. Harry Warden



Following the theme of Halloween for one more battle (even though it's not October now), today we're going to be met with two insane individuals who, as they always do, take their anger and pain out on others. Two different cases, one from a messed up family and one born from a murder. Today we're going to pit two men with admittedly impractical, but effective, weapons.

Bubba: More commonly known a Leatherface, he's the Sawyer family's heavy hitter. A mentally slow cannibal with a chainsaw.

vs.

Harry Warden: A valentine killer taking the appearance of a miner from the town Valentine Bluffs. An insane man weilding a pickaxe.

Leatherface
Bubba was always bullied when he was younger, and when you take a look at all of the physical and mental problems he has, it's no wonder he fell victim to countless amounts of bullying. Not only did he suffer from mental retardation, but he was also unable to speak in general. He was also victim to a skin disease, which would cause tumors to grow along his face and other severe deformities which would make him grow insecure in his own face. Being bullied for most of his life, he grew to be a recluse and stayed with his family, who...weren't exactly the best people on earth.

Growing up, Bubba would serve as a butcher for the Sawyer family. It only made sense. After all, Bubba was incredibly strong, and he was incredibly big. If that doesn't describe a classic butcher than I don't know what does. Now, with that being said, there were...a few issues. You see, the Sawyer family weren't really butchers. They'd just slaughter the cow for the butchers instead. The problem was...new inventions lead to job cuts, and people going out of business. The Sawyer family was unfortunately one of these people. They were out of a job and any way to make money. Because of this, of course, they turned to cannibalism!

They'd lead unsuspecting groups into their house before murdering them and cutting them up into pieces, using their bones to make furniture or macabre decorations, while Leatherface would get a new hobby. Due to the insecurities in his face, and the fact that he was normally the one to cut up the bodies anyways, Bubba here would cut the face off of the corpses he was given, making them into disgusting masks so that he could hide his true face, hence where he got his name...Leatherface.

Though, being a butcher and a killer, Bubba has to have some good weapons for him. Let's discuss.

Chainsaw: The bread and butter of any good, iconic slasher. Bubba does most of his dirty work via this chainsaw, with a pull of a cord and a very loud noise, Bubba can tear into his opponents with this lovely weapon, which he wields with only one hand. It weighs about ten pounds and is a whopping 36 inches. A weapon of pure slaughter.

Cleaver: Of course, this is the staple item for any butcher worth his salt, and it works as a deadly weapon in the hands of this killer cannibal. A twelve inch blade which can lop off a limb with a strong, well placed slash.

Sledgehammer: Or, I suppose a mallet would be a better name for this. Either way, a hammer wielded by this big cannibal is going to kill with one quick blow to the head. The hammer, in this case, is going to be sixteen inches long.

Harry Warden
Harry Warden isn't exactly a real person. Well, not in this context, at least. You see, Harry Warden used to be a simple miner, but one day, due to the neglect of two supervisors that went to the Valentine's Day Dance, him and four other miners were trapped down in the mine. While truly a terrible situation, Harry Warden did what he had to do to survive, and that was to kill the other miners and eat their flesh. I mean...gotta do what you have to to survive, I suppose. Later on, after he had escaped, Harry Warden murdered the two supervisors that put him in that situation in the first place. Later, he would vow that he was going to kill again if the Dance was held once more.

Twenty years after the incident, there was a man by the name of Axel Palmer. He was the son of one of the supervisors that Henry Warden killed, and even saw the man murder his father. The loss of his father also caused him to hate the Valentine's Day Dance, and so he donned the gas mask that Warden used, and went under the alias of Harry Warden to commit several murders in his hometown. Later, he is trapped under some rubble, and is about to be arrested. Before he could pay for his crimes, however, he cut off his arm and ran off, still being alive and out there to this day.

With such a brutal killer, they have to have some brutal weapons. Let's take a look, shall we?

Pickaxe: The standard tool of any miner, which can easily turn into something deadly if put in the wrong hands. With a firm handle made out of wood and a metal point to plunge into his victims, this pickax ecome in at three feet in length and weighs a good five pounds. A deadly thing to be swinging around.

Knife: By no means a weapon used for actual combat, but Harry was able to use this to cut his arm off, so it must be for something, right? It's a 14 inch blade that is generally used as a last resort, as Harry seems to just...not want to use it. Well, we can't really blame him, can we? A pickaxe is already a pretty cool weapon.

Nail Gun: Now, I know that some people would think that anything that could be used as a gun against a murderous cannibal with only melee weapons would be pretty bad, but we have been informed by a hippo we found in the wild that this gun actually works like it's supposed to, where you can only use it if it's pressed up against a surface, and the nails don't really fly out like you'd expect them to. And even if they could do that, Harry doesn't use it like that.

X-Factors
Physicality

Leatherface is clearly a very strong opponent in this fight. He can effortlessly drag corpses and bodies with them resisting his grasp, and he's even tough enough to use that bulk of his and run through a wall. Pretty intense. He's also capable of chasing victims for a considerably long time. And he's durable as well, being able to take a chainsaw to the gut, or to the leg, and treating it with very little severity. Though this can probably be a factor of his retardation not exactly knowing of a way to process pain.

Harry Warden, meanwhile, while not terribly strong, is able to do things that no man should really be able to do, such as shove a shower head through someones skull, which is...fucking disgusting, to be honest. He also has no problem chasing his future victims, or surviving certain painful situations like getting his arm cut off after it had been trapped under rubble.

Intelligence

This is the part where Bubba doesn't really do well. You see, Bubba is mentally retarded. No matter how nice you want to be about it, he doesn't really do anything that requires more than a basic mental capacity, and he can't even really form sentences, mostly just screaming at people and murdering them. Not exactly the nicest thing.

Harry, meanwhile, is actually somewhat intelligent. He knows to employ stealth tactics on his victims to get the element of surprise, and he can use parts of his environment to help him out in killing or frightening someone. He was even able to fake his own death, or disable an escape route that one of his victims was going to take, however that doesn't mean that he can't make mistakes, like getting his pickaxe stuck...

Experience

Leatherface doesn't really have a lot of experience, as you could probably guess given the situation he is in. He has been killing for a while now, but most of his victims don't really have any means to defend themselves, and because of this you cant really call it relevant experience, but he does know how to kill either way.

Harry, meanwhile, has had a very similar experience, where he...doesn't have much of it. Most of his victims didn't have a way to defend themselves and he hasn't been in many fights at all. He has been in a fist fight once or twice, and he actually won those scenarios, but that is with fists, and Leatherface probably isn't going to be one to deck Harry in the face.

Voting Rules
Voting ends either on the 21st or whenever I feel like it so there's that. Uh...dunno what else to say, really. Hope Pygmy enjoys this-