User blog:Kazanshin/Deadliest Warrior Finale: R.E.O Speedwagon vs Shaggy Rogers

I definitely did not expect this to be my season premiere, but why not, eh? It's 1rst of April (2nd but fuck you space-time, Kazanshin is superior to you), which means Jokes time! (Quick, in character!)

'''Death. Destruction. War.''' These are the words that come to one's mind when one thinks of power. Those who have mastered these have always dominated all those around them, be it the Roman Empire, the Han Dynasty or the almighty Kingdom of Maoriland. Today, however, we're summoning the two most powerful beings to have ever existed (yes they existed, they're real) and pitting them against each other in a clash that just might shatter all of reality. Are we ready to answer this question? Maybe not. Do we want to answer it? Not a question, this is why this wiki was made in the first place. To find out who is, truly, above all else, the Deadliest Warrior. This is where we finally answer the question which we have been asking ourselves for eternity.

' Robert E. O. Speedwagon! The best Jobro to have ever existed who discovered Araki Hirohiko's secret of immortality! '

' Shaggy Rogers! The god of memetopia who took over the internet with the power of Ultra Instinct! '

' WHO. IS. DEADLIEST!? '

Robert E.O. Speedwagon=Robert E.O. "Speedweed" Speedwagon is the main protagonist of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and its spin-off series, Touhou project. He is known by all as one of the most powerful gods of the Jojoverse alongside his friends Rudol Von Stroheim, Pocoloco and Barry the Slinger. In the series, Speedwagon travels through multiple universes in search of the secret of Araki Hirohiko's immortality, a quest during which he saves the multiverse several times from different villains such as Novel Kars, Heaven Ascension DIO, and Donald Trump. He does so by elucidating his enemies, defeating them with Super Spin then withdrawing coolly. At the end of the series, Speedwagon finds out that Araki is actually him from the future, in which he becomes too powerful for the realm of manga to handle and breaks in reality before writing a series about his adventures. He accepts this truth and his fate as the ultimate god of Jojo and withdraws coolly until his ascension to reality.
 * -|Equipment= SledgehammerSledgehammer_2.jpgwagon's weapon of choice for close-quarters combat is his sledgehammer. this sledgehammer is imbued with Hamon (not Ripple), allowing it to kill vampires and zombies, and was further upgraded in "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Part 9: Still looking for that main antagonist" by Stroheim using top-tier Sekai Ichi German Engineering, making it superior to any other weapon in the Jojoverse. The hammer comes equipped with all types of Hamon Overdrives, rocket launchers, machine guns, ultraviolet laser-beams and the power of King Crimson's "IT JUST WORKS".

Hat Speedweed's hat is the main weapon used by Robert-senpai. While it is marginally inferior to the sledgehammer as a simple weapon, it more than makes up thanks to its ability to use the Super Spin. Being the inventor of Spin, Speedwagon is capable of using it without even having a horse and has a 146372849132469827% accuracy and infinite range beyond universes and dimensions even when blinfolded, braindead and paralyzed. If a victim is hit by the Spin Hat, every single one of their atoms will start rotating into nothingness and be completely annihilated. Speedwagon is a master of time manipulation. In fact, he invented it. Not time manipulation, he invented time itself. By doing so, he also invented speed, and used this new concept in his name. Simply by looking at his clock, Speedwagon can rewind, speed up, erase, skip, stop, destroy, eat, oppress, throw, write, enlarge and even sit on or dispense time. Don't ask me how this works, it just does.
 * -|Powers and abilities=Time manipulationSpeedwagon's_World.jpg

Stands Speedwagon has stands. Which stands? All of them. He just has every single stand in the entire Jojo series. His favorite, however, is Speedwagon. Speedwagon (stand) has the combined abilities of every Requiem and Heaven Ascension stand in the series including that of the non-existent part 8 antagonist. Using it, Speedweed is capable of trapping his enemies in an endless death loop, make his stand the same kind of stand as the enemy, blast them into space, make an ambulance run over them or turn into a kid wearing a baseball hat and kill them with atmosphere or whatever.

Spin Speedwagon can use Spin, which he invented with his hat. Using it, he can do all kinds of stuff that are really, totally and scientifically possible with spinning balls of iron, such as atomizing the enemy, teleporting, gathering the corpse of Jesus Christ (alternate universe Speedwagon), breaking through dimensional walls and causing Mexican wind. In the last battle of "Speedwagon's Bizarre adventure Part ⑨: Speedwagon's Perfect Math Class", Speedwagon used Spin to annihilate all concepts of cold and ice and to blow away the freezing wave of air caused by some meteorological shit I don't understand to defeat Ultimate Saikyo Tensai Cirno in her adult form and establish JjBA's superiority over the shameless ripoff that is Touhou project.

Clones By summoning alternate-universe versions of himself, Speedweed can create an infinite army of Speedwagons. While none of them are as powerful as the real deal, they are all capable of using the Super Spin Hat, the Sledgehammer and are powerful enough to overwrite the power of Gold Experience Requiem. In part 410, the Clonewagon army waged war against Nazi Germany led by Rudol Von Stroheim in the brief but brutal German-Weed war caused by a Reddit argument over who was the best Jobro. The Clonewagons decisively defeated the Nazis at the battle of Thatvocanothatkilledkarsgrad, during which they employed quick envelopment tactics backed by artillery strikes and shock troop charges led by General Pocoloco to break the Nazi lines and utterly defeat them.

Withdraw Coolly If Speedwagon sees that he isn't needed or that his opponent is too unworthy of battling him, he's capable of withdrawing coolly. This usually leads to the enemy exploding out of Speedwagon's coolness and devoting the rest of their life as a firm believer of Wagonism.In combat, Speedwagon is theoretically capable of using this ability to retreat from battle to replenish his forces, but he has never had to use it in such a way as he was never pushed to his absolute limits by anybody. By discovering the truth about Araki Hirohiko's immortality, Speedwagon was capable of Ascending to Heaven and unlocking his full potential. In this form, all forms of power restraints which he had until then are ignored and Speedweed becomes fully unstoppable. His power was so great it took Donald Trump Requiem and Novel Mark (that Nazi soldier killed by Wamuu in the unfaithful manga) to be able to even be recognized by him, and even then he initially mistook them for Sun Tzu. All of his abilities are boosted by ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞% in this form and he is capable of using every single one of his stands at the same time. Furthermore, he gains the ability to ignore Speed Equalized and omniscience, allowing him to commentate everything in the omniverse at the same time.
 * -|Super form=Heaven Ascension Speedwagon
 * -|Feats=-Defeated ⑨ Cirno-chan at her full power when she was fused with Flan-chan during a full moon

-Curbstomped Heaven Ascension DIO merely by posing, overpowering his reality warping

-Matched and surpassed Stroheim in combat when he was using the full extent of German Engineering

'-Overpowered the reality-warping ability of Hey Ya! and beat Pocoloco in a race'

-Assassinated Donald Trump, putting an end forever to the search for Jesus' corpse: only Speedwagon is allowed to keep his own corpse

-Annihilated the Skulduggery Pleasant series, ending the Jojo-Skul war once and for all

-Is the best Jobro ever

-Eventually discovered Araki's secret of immortality

-Will make you regret coming to the wrong neighborhood, mother-trucker!

Weakness: EVEN SPEEDWAGON CAN BE AFRAID (even though that usually just boosts his power) Shaggy Rogers=Shaggy Rogers is one of the Head Gods of Destruction of the Dragon Ball X Series, currently he is dead as of Episode 3 and then resurrected after the episode. Shaggy Rogers is also one of Gohan Blanco's best friend and partner in justice as Gohan Blanco trusts Shaggy Rogers the most in most of the things because Shaggy Rogers helped Gohan Blanco win the Multiversal Tournament during Dragon Ball Super. He is best known for his rivalries against foes such as Big Chungus and Shrek. He is so obscenely powerful that in some circles, it is speculated that the form we see is only an avatar of the true Shaggster, and he is currently residing in a plane of existence outside of our Universe. After defeating Big Chungus, Shaggy stole the infinity gauntlet and imbued it with the power of a decillion dying universes. This made it infinitely more powerful than when it was wielded by Thanos and roughly equal in power to when it was used by Big Chungus. The Infinity Gauntlet, when used by Shaggy, can Thanos snap people, make them feel not so good, and all of that classic Infinity shit. However, the snap is made unimaginably more powerful than when used by Thanos as shown when Shaggy snaps the EXTRATHICC Big Chungus out of reality.
 * -|Equipment=Infinity gauntlet

N-Word Pass

The N-Word Pass is an artifact of unquantifiable power, made and bestowed upon by only the oldest, wisest and most powerful- Oh no, I was about to say the forbidden word without the pass! If not for my status as a Jap, I would be eradicated by the mere thought of the word. The N-Word pass gives Shaggy the ability to say the N-Word, a spell that trumps any other spell in Harry Potter in terms of sheer power. If a mortal was to say the N-Word without the pass, they would surely be annihilated without a trace by the High Mages of the N. Shaggy, being a Dragon Ball character, is capable of manipulating Ki to his will. Using Ki, Shaggy can use attacks such as his trademark Kamehameha. Shaggy's kamehamehas are powerful enough to harm and damage Shrek and, when Shaggy powers up to 85% of his power, can eradicate Shrek's whole Swamp in a single shot. Shaggy can also concentrate a kamehameha's power into his hand to use the Rasengan for close combat.
 * -|Powers and abilities=Kamehameha

Hakai

Being a god of destruction, Shaggy is capable of utilizing Hakai, a technique in which he erases his opponent from existence, wiping them out entirely from all universes. This ability, however, has a few weaknesses. First, it can only be used if the opponent is significantly weaker than Shaggy. Secondly, it requires physical contact with the opponent. Shaggy rarely uses this ability as the Thanos snap is much more convenient, but if he loses the gauntlet he can always resort to directly erasing his opponent.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Through intense training, discipline and efforts, Shaggy actually mastered the Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick. This kick has been known to one-shot Thanos and causes the Big Bang. Only after mastering the Roundhouse Kick did Shaggy gain the power needed to defeat Adolph Hitler/ After even more training, Shaggy has developed his own version of the Roundhouse kick which utilizes the power of meemz to bring devastation upon all that stands in its way. The first Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick is theorized to have been the cause of anime, effects which were much later resonated and recreated when Hiroshima and Nagasaki were nuked. 概要 『Ultra Instinct』とは「ドラゴンボール超」に登場する「身勝手の極意」の英訳. 「超越した本能」を意味する言葉で、もはや意訳を通り越した超訳である. 「身勝手の極意”兆”」は兆候や前兆を意味する「Sign」または「Omen」が付けられる. 「身勝手の極意」という言葉をそのまま翻訳すると「Key of Egoism（エゴイズムの鍵）」となるため、略称として「K.O.E」を用いる人もいるが、ダブルミーニングを踏まえているとはいえ作中で「自分勝手」という意味合いでは使われていないため、こちらの翻訳は避けられる傾向にある. また海外では別のアニメのキャラクターが身勝手の極意と似たような動きをするシーンのバックに身勝手の極意のテーマソングである「究極の聖戦」を流す動画を作成し「Ultra Instinct 〇〇(キャラ名)」というタイトルで投稿するインターネット・ミームが流行った. これを海外の人気作品「スクービー・ドゥー」で作成した「Ultra Instinct Shaggy」は180万再生以上、日本でも人気な「トムとジェリー」で作成した「Ultra Instinct Jerry」は100万再生以上という恐るべき数字を記録した. ベジータの「Its Over 9000!!!」同様その国特有のインターネット・ミームとも言えよう.
 * -|Super form=Ultra Instinct

Use Google Translate noobs
 * -|Feats=-Thanos snapped Bug Chungus

-Choked Sasuke

-Matched Super Saiyan Blue Waluigi

-Defeated Shrek and destroyed his swamp

-Using his full power, defeated the Number One Villain: Robbie Rotten, albeit to the expense of his own life and that of his meme

-Is friends with John Cena

-Befriended Chuck Norris

Weakness: Does not no de wey

Voting
Votes of less than Over 9000 lines do not count. I, Kazanshin the Magnificent, am fully capable of choosing whether you are worthy or not of casting a vote. Once you have voted you must convert to either Shaggyism or Wagonism. Voting ends when Kazanshin the Magnificent says so. I'm awake at midnight and I'm going on a school trip tomorrow so I'm cutting this short. I'm counting on you bozos to make this happen.