User blog comment:Jackythejack/Kids on Melancholy Hill: Noodle vs Gluk’oza/@comment-32516697-20191202104743

'''Laq's "Best Girl? As Opposed To Who?" Edges'''

Tommy Gun vs. Skorpion-like Gun: I'm also with Tybalt on this one, but for simpler reasons. A glance at Wikipedia reveals that the rates of fire and muzzle velocities for the Thompson and the Skorpion aren't too different, and I don't want to assume that Gluk'oza's gun has significantly better statistics than its real-life counterpart just because of its blocky, retro-futuristic aesthetic. Aside from that, the Thompson is the more powerful weapon with the larger magazine. Additionally, Noodle appears to be the superior marksman. She's shooting down fighter pilots, while Gluk'oza hasn't shown anything too impressive.Edge: Noodle

Katana vs. Two Katana: I considered giving the edge to Noodle because of her strength, but I decided against it after some consideration. Noodle's strength isn't to the point where a swordfight would be impossible, and having a backup weapon is always better than not having one. Edge: Gluk'oza

Grenades vs. Superhuman Physicality: I don't really like this category because Noodle's physical abilities are something that will affect the entire fight rather than a situational weapon. Anyways, Gluk'oza's grenades are weird as fuck, since they only affect the target's eyes. Perhaps they're a sort of extremely intense flashbang that vaporizes the liquid within eyeballs? Horrible to think about, I know. Now, the one instance of her grenades having this effect was at extremely close range, so Gluk'oza will need to set one off very close to Noodle to get a chance at blinding her, but I don't think that will happen. Overall, the grenades' use is limited, while Noodle's physical abilities are much more applicable, especially her durability because it makes her a lot harder to put down. Edge: Noodle

X-Factors and Conclusion: Pretty cut and dry, no? Gluk'oza isn't a bad warrior, and she's got around the same level of combat experience that Noodle does. However, she's outclassed in terms of marksmanship, physicality, and for the most part, weaponry. Noodle can shoot straighter, hit harder, and survive more damage than her opponent, and Gluk'oza just can't compete in the long run. Winner: Noodle!