Ramesses II/Bio & Battles

"The strength of a chain is equal to the strength of its weakest link."

- Ramesses II

Ramesses II, referred to as Ramesses the Great, was the third Egyptian pharaoh (reigned 1279 BC – 1213 BC) of the Nineteenth dynasty. He is often regarded as the greatest, most celebrated, and most powerful pharaoh of the Egyptian Empire. His successors and later Egyptians called him the "Great Ancestor." Ramesses II led several military expeditions into the Levant, re-asserting Egyptian control over Canaan. He also led expeditions to the south, into Nubia, commemorated in inscriptions at Beit el-Wali and Gerf Hussein.

At age fourteen, Ramesses was appointed Prince Regent by his father Seti I. He is believed to have taken the throne in his late teens and is known to have ruled Egypt from 1279 BC to 1213 BC for 66 years and 2 months, according to both Manetho and Egypt's contemporary historical records. He was once said to have lived to be 99 years old, but it is more likely that he died in his 90th or 91st year. If he became Pharaoh in 1279 BC as most Egyptologists today believe, he would have assumed the throne on May 31, 1279 BC, based on his known accession date of III Shemu day 27. Ramesses II celebrated an unprecedented 14 sed festivals (the first held after thirty years of a pharaoh's reign, and then every three years) during his reign—more than any other pharaoh. On his death, he was buried in a tomb in the Valley of the Kings; his body was later moved to a royal cache where it was discovered in 1881, and is now on display in the Cairo Museum.

The early part of his reign was focused on building cities, temples and monuments. He established the city of Pi-Ramesses in the Nile Delta as his new capital and main base for his campaigns in Syria. This city was built on the remains of the city of Avaris, the capital of the Hyksos when they took over, and was the location of the main Temple of Set. He is also known as Ozymandias in the Greek sources, from a transliteration into Greek of a part of Ramesses's throne name, Usermaatre Setepenre, "Ra's mighty truth, chosen of Ra".

(from Wikipedia)

Battle vs. Darius III  (by Yetimonster)
Darius and his driver make their way across the Middle East in a chariot. As the two Persians move forward, Darius suddenly spots a second chariot approaching. The second chariot is that of Ramesses II. Ramesses raises his Khopesh, and orders his driver to charge at Darius. With this, Darius has his driver charge as well. As the two chariots head at eachother, Ramesses raises his Hyksos Bow and fires an arrow at Darius. The arrow strikes, Darius' driver instead, forcing Darius to take control of the chariot to avoid crashing. Once, Darius' chariot comes to a halt, Ramesses and his driver rush at him. Darius pulls his Bow and Arrow, and fires at Ramesse, but kills the Egyptian driver. Darius fires again, but Ramesses blocks the blow with his sheild. Darius grabs for his Spear and Sheild now, and blocks a blow from Ramesses' Flegged Mace. Darius attempts to strike, but the attack fails because of Ramesses' Sheild. Darius attacks again, but Ramesses dodges the blow. Ramesses then hits Darius' arm with the mace, bringing the king to the ground. Ramesses tries to lay in the finishing blow, but Darius rolls out of the way, and stabs Ramesses in the leg. With his opponent injured, Darius takes the oppurtunity to grab a Sagaris and flee. Once Ramesses recovers he spots Darius fleeing, and hurls a Javelin he took of his dead driver. The Javelin misses it's target, and Ramesses arms himself with a Khopesh. Darius stops at the peak of a high cliff. With no where to run, Darius raises his Sagaris and engages Ramesses in combat. Ramesses slashes Darius across the chest, but Darius shakes off the blow. Darius attempts to strike with his Sagaris, but the blow is intercepted by the Khopesh. Darius attacks again, and succesfully hits Ramesses' wrist. However, Ramesses knocks the sagaris away with his sword, and slashes Darius across the leg and arm. Now in great pain, Darius hunches over, and stumbles away from Ramesses. Ramesses prepares to give the final strike, when suddenly, Darius grabs his Akinakes, and stabs Ramesses right through the wrist. Ramesses drobs his weapon before Darius stabs him throught the chest, and hurls his body off the cliff to the chasam below. Darius then raises his Akinakes, and screams in victory "PERSIA!"

Expert's Opinion
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Battle vs. Qin Shi Huang (by Tesla Man)
The Military expedition of Ramesses, had ended in faliure, leaving Ramesses and only 5 men, lost in lands far beyond the empires reaches, and as far as Ramesses knows, farther than any empire has gone. he lost himself in a grassy field, with dry, cracked soil, matted against the soles of the soldiers sandals. They were low on food, but they continued on the low food they had left, and they would take any chance they got to scavage food. But now, luck was on thier side, as they made it to the top of a mountain, staring into a valley. the valley was beutiful, a stream spliting the fertile soil, and a grove of trees that beared an unidentified fruit. but they knew this prize wouldnt come easy, for across the stream, on the other side of the vally, The Great Qin, sitting under a tree, featsing on the fruit, surrounded by four Qin warriors, one drinking out of the stream, the other two eating a fruit, and the last one feeding the horse and hooking a chariot to the back.

The starving Ramesses, rode his chariot into the valley, followed by the three soldiers. as they made it to the banks of the stream, Ramesses ripped a fruit off the tree and took a mighty bite out of it, never one taking his eyes off of Qin Shihuang. Qin would constantly glance at Ramesses, feeling disturbed in a way, and he continued to eat his fruit akwardly. Ramesses, dropped his fruit and unsheathed his sword, pointing it at Qin, yelling, as the chariot charged across the stream, followed by the soldiers.

The stream, being atleast 50 feet wide, was wide enough for Qins army to have time to prepare for battle, the soldier drinkig the stream water, ran to the tents, where he met the two other infantry soldiers as they grabbed thier weapons and prepared for battle. The horseman, hooked up the chariot and got in, driving it towards Qin, guesturing for him to get in, and he did so with no hesation. and they charged forward as well.

Meeting about ⅔ of the way across the stream, the two armies clased with unparralel force, on Qin's side, one soldier had stayed back to load his crossbow and aim. he fired, striking one of Ramesses soldiers in the chest, severing an artery, and he fell into the water, spilling blood downstream. Ramesses, seeing this crossbowman was a threat, ordered for the chariot driver to pull up beside him. as they did so, the crossbowman fired another arrow, sriking the driver in the mouth, throwing him into the stream, clashing his head with the rocks, killing him. Ramesses jumped out of the chariot, and splashed into the water, an unsheathed his mace, and smacked the crossbowman in the face, killing him, but also breaking his mace at the shaft.

the 2 of Ramesses soldiers continued to fight the 3 chineese, without and kills on either side. Ramesses took this time to take out his bow aand fire at Qin, he loaded his bow and fired, but Ramesses' aim was disrupted by a turn of the chariot, as the arrow went into the collar bone of the charioteer, instead of Qin. looking down at the dead body guard, Qin grabbed the corpse, and threw it into the water, as he gained cotrol of the reins, charging at the 2 egyptian soldiers. one egyptian backed up as the chariot came plowing next to the seccond soldier, ripping his legs to peices with the chariot sythe. The egyptian was still alive, but not for long as a chineese shoved the tip of his Ji into the soliers back.

the chineese soldier looked up, and swung his Ji at the last egyptian soldier, wich was blocked by the egyptians spear. The soldier then pulled it out, only to be slashed in the neck by Ramesses' Kopesh. The last Chineese soldier pointed the Ji at the two, and took one swing and Ramesses, but he moved to the side quick enough to take his khopesh and smash the wooden shaft in two, as the other soldier grabbed a javelin and threw it, slicing through the soldiers upper leg, making him bleed to death.

Worn and tired, the soldier took a deep breath, and was slashed in the back by a Dao. as the soldier collapsed, Ramesses turned, realising Qin was there, Qin took another slash, cutting Ramesses arm, but not severing it. Ramesses collapsed into the river, bleeding as the blood seeped downstream. Qin unsheathed his dagger, and thrust it towards a kneeling Ramesses, but Ramesses swung his shierd around, as the dagger went through the shield and got stuck. Ramesses grabbed his Kopesh and slashed off Qin's arm, still holding the dagger. Qin grabbed his wrist in pain as Ramesses sliced his Kopesh at Qins face, making him tumble into the water.

Now on land, Ramesses grabbed a fruit from the tree, and took a bite out of it, then spit the bite out, and threw the fruit into the river in discust, and turned around, walking into the neverending field of trees.

Expert's Opinion
TBW

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Battle vs. Marcus Aurelius (by Elgb333)
Ramses II:

Marcus Aurelius:

It was early morning in a small oasis in Southern Anatolia. Relatively quiet and half-asleep, the tiny spring then sprang to life as the sun rises and brightens up the place. The whole oasis now became colorful and breathing with life, with birds singing their morning songs in the trees and the little critters below dancing with glee. It was a refuge untouched by the destruction and chaos of men; where animals can live a healthy and peaceful life.

However, the tranquility suddenly disappeared as man once again invaded paradise. Two horses, one lead by another, dashed in uninvited with four hunting dogs. Their noisy incursion scared away the little critters and birds and they fled away in terror from these outside intruders. One horse, the lead horse, carried a man while the other horse behind it carried hunting supplies and gears. The rider was the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who was there on a solo hunting trip with his dogs. With the Empire of Rome finally at peace, Marcus Aurelius found the time at long last, to do other activities besides bloodshed and war. Finally, he thought as he passed by the trees and the bushes, now he can focus on himself for once in his reign. Running an empire can take a lot out of someone, and defending it and its people can crush one’s soul. But Marcus was blessed today for it was time for him to finally enjoy; a time where he can breathe fresh air, let loose his stress and find peace away from conflict.

“Come on you mangy beasts!” Marcus Aurelius yelled at his war dogs behind him, who were equally as thrilled as their master. “Today we’ll have fresh meat courtesy of the Goddess Diana for breakfast!”

He then scours the whole oasis hungrily in search of prey, and luckily for him, they were all kinds of animals from deer and goats, fleeing as he moved through the oasis. So, the excited Emperor readies his pilum with the hopes of a bountiful hunt and gorgeous beasts worthy of display.

But little did he know that hidden in the foliage, one was watching him carefully like a hawk. As Marcus Aurelius penetrated deeper and deeper into the oasis, he was caught off guard as a two-horse chariot appeared behind him and gave chase. Shocked, the Emperor tried to shake it off as the two dashed through the oasis at top speed.

The rider of the chariot, was none other than the famous Egyptian pharaoh, Ramses II himself. Like Marcus, Ramses was also in the oasis to hunt game. However, he wasn’t keen to share it with the Roman. For Ramses, he believed that he owned the place, as well as the rest of the known world as his birthright as a god. The intrusion of Marcus Aurelius in his favorite hunting place made him furious. That bastard actually had the nerve to trespass on his own property, on his own territory. Like an apex predator who’d already marked his turf, Ramses prepares to show this intruder his godly wrath. And so, as he got closer to Marcus with his faster chariot, he ties the reins around his waist and readies his bow; determined to kill this interloper and hang his carcass in the entrance as warning.

As the two chased each other, Ramses steadily aimed his bow and yelled, “Whoever you are! And whatever your purpose maybe, know this! This place belongs to me, and you’re not welcome here!” Ramses then fires his arrow and hits Marcus’ horse in the liver, mortally wounding it, and throwing Marcus on the ground while his dogs yelped at him with worry.

Though down, Marcus quickly raised his scutum shield and blocked further arrows from the pharaoh. As the Egyptian war chariot charged closer towards him, Marcus whistles for his wardogs for protection. The loyal wardogs then quickly made a barrier around their master and barked furiously at the oncoming chariot. The sudden ferocity of their barks scared away the chariot’s horses, and to the surprise of Ramses, they turned their backs and retreat from Marcus and his dogs. This gave the Roman Emperor enough time to quickly run to his other horse, mount it and grab all of his weapons.

Enraged, Ramses cursed and whipped at his disobedient horses for turning away. He forcefully pulled their reigns and violently spin the animals around. Unfortunately for Ramses, Marcus was again back on his horse armed, and he charges at Ramses head on with his dogs.

“You think your filthy creatures scare a god like me?! I’ll show you how to control nature!” Ramses shouted while pointing his khopesh sword at Marcus. “Antam~nekt! I choose you!”

Then suddenly, as Marcus was charging at Ramses, a large male lion leaped from the bushes towards him. Marcus can only turn his head and yell in surprise, as the lion came rushing in with its claws and mouth wide open. One of his dogs managed to block the lion with its body before it reaches Marcus, but the unfortunate animal got stuffed straight to the lion’s mouth in the process. The large beast then easily ripped the poor dog in two with its powerful jaws, but in turn, Marcus managed to dash away and continue his assault.

The other three wardogs then attacked the lion in revenge. One of the wardogs bit the lion on the leg, one bit it in the back of the neck, while another bit it in the tail. Pissed, the lion roared so loud that it scared and paralyzed the dogs, and they all let go and back away in fear. The lion then quickly counters by swiping one of them in the lower jaw; ripping it away and killing it. Only two wardogs remained, and the death of another compatriot restored the dogs’ fury and they retaliate. The dogs then took turns biting the lion from every position. The lion tried its best to keep them at bay with its claws, but the two dogs ran circles around it and slowly took away strips of its flesh. Badly hurt, the enraged lion managed to pounce one of the dogs and pinned it under its paws. As the dog cried in terror as it tried to get out of the lion’s grasp, the other wardog quickly came to its rescue and bit the lion in the throat. And the three animals ended up wrestling and biting each other, with both beastkinds switching from top to bottom during the fight.

As the beasts fought each other, the men themselves had their own separate fight to finish. Ramses roared his chariot towards Marcus, yelling on top of his lungs as he fired his bow. Marcus blocked the arrow with his shield and, as he got closer, returned fire with his javelins. Each warrior then passed each other unharmed and without a scratch. The pilums Marcus threw missed Ramses, but it got embedded on his expensive chariot in return. Pissed, Ramses then turned his chariot around, raised his khopesh and charged once again at full gallop. Marcus however, stood his ground as Ramses came charging towards him. He then took aim with another pilum, and with a deep breath and focus, threw it with all his might. It missed Ramses again, but it violently struck one of the chariot’s horses in the throat, and the beast neighed in anguish as its blood painfully spurted and sprayed Ramses. Then the chariot crashed and threw Ramses on the ground violently.

The heavily bruised and injured poppy Egyptian prince cried in pain, as Marcus takes out his gladius and charges to finish him once and for all. But the screaming Ramses managed to crawl away and shout desperately to his lion for help. Seeing his master in danger, the lion quickly swiped one of the wardogs and knocked it towards the other, before running towards Ramses’ aide. The unsuspecting Marcus didn’t see the lion tackle him off his horse and pin him on the ground, before roaring mightily at his face and finally biting him on the shoulder. Screaming in pain as the lion mangled both muscle and bone, Marcus Aurelius tried desperately to punch the lion with his fists but to no avail, as the lion’s strength clamped on him like a vice with teeth.

As Marcus was being torn by the lion, Ramses laughs maniacally as he stands back up. He continues his laugh as he approaches the downed Marcus. “You see?...” he said as he delightfully watches the lion bite him. “This is what happen to everyone foolish enough to fight me. I am a god you peasant fool! And you stand no chance against me!”

Although with a lion powerfully crunching on him, Marcus still had the strength to jest at Ramses. “Really? You? A god? Ha!... To be honest this is the first time… I saw a god… cry… like a little girl,” Marcus bantered. “It’s not yet over… you inbred freak!”

And then suddenly without warning, Marcus’ wardogs attacked and seized Ramses to the ground. One wardog bit Ramses in the face while another started ripping away at his groin. The pharaoh screamed in pain as the dogs dismember him, and he tried to get out of their grip but to no avail.

Marcus on the other hand, finally grabs his gladius and stabs the lion in the heart multiple times in fury, and the lion roared in pain for the last time before it died. Tired and covered with both his and the lion’s blood, Marcus took a minute to rest before finally wrenching the lion’s jaws off of him. He then stood up and covered his wounds with his cloak. Panting but relieved, Marcus then approached the still living Ramses, who was busy getting maimed painfully by the dogs in his head and crotch.

Marcus looks at Ramses’ eyes which were pleading for mercy. But Marcus only smirked at him irritatingly. “You poor little sad man who calls himself a god,” Marcus smugged. “You shouldn’t have done that. A real god or even just a smart man would think twice before messing with Rome! I’m sorry it had to come to this but once you see Hades, tell him and all of the others I sent there before you, Marcus Aurelius – politely says- hi.”

With those final insults, Marcus Aurelius then turns his back, and leaves Ramses to his fate as the dogs rip him to bloody shreds. The Roman Emperor then whistles for his horse and takes all of his undertakers and other equipment, which would help him carry his quarry back to his base. While the duel was finally over, there was a sly bit of excitement in the Emperor’s face…

“I may not have bagged a simple venison or boar today…” Marcus thought with a grin. “But I did killed a lion… and a God. The consuls and the aristocrats won’t believe their eyes when they see this.”

Expert's Opinion
The voters agreed that while Ramses’ chariot and bow proved to be a great threat, Marcus’ better offensive and special weapons proved superior. While Ramses’ lion was a deadly beast, its wild nature and the dogs’ superior pack numbers can beat it. But what really gives Marcus Aurelius the victory is his tactics and experience. One pissed but very profound expert made a point that while Ramses was a famous and brutal warrior, he was a huge phony who exaggerated his victories. Ramses chariot and bow were outmatched by the technology of Marcus’ time, and in the end this proved that Marcus Aurelius is the deadliest warrior.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Ashurbanipal (by MilenHD)
Ashurbanipal:

Ramesses:

In the hot deserts of the Middle East, Ashurbanipal is riding his horse followed by four of his loyal soldiers. The Assyrians were hunting lions again. As Ashurbanipal saw lion in the distance but they had arrived late, the lion was already killed by the arrows of the Egyptians and no long after the chariot of Ramesses II was noticed.

Ashurbanipal ordered his warriors to raise their bows and fired at the Egyptians who raised their shields, but of of them was killed by arrow in the neck. Ramesses ordered his soldier start driving his chariot and holding his hyksos bow he fired few shots, all being blocked by the Assyrian's shields, Ramesses fired another arrow, this time killing an Assyrian soldier.

Ashurbanipal grabbed his spear and charged at Ramesses followed by his three remaining soldiers, Ramesses raised his bow and ordered his charioteer to go forward against the enemies, followed by his two Egyptian soldiers. Charging at the Assyrians, the charioteer threw a javelin, which missed Ashurbanipal. Ramesses was firing his bow, missing Ashurbanipal, in the end as the horse and chariot clashed, the charioteer was pierced by the spear and killed.

The chariot moved over big rocks and Ramesses fell down from it. One of the Egyptians threw a javelin killed Ashurbanipal's horse. As the Assyrian king rose up he pierced the javelin thrower with his dagger in the throat. In the mean time Ramesses had got up and wielding his khopesh he sliced the throat of a Assyrian soldier. As another Assyrian charged at Ramesses, he quickly got decapitated with his khopesh and charged at Ahurbanipal.

Meanwhile an Assyrian and Egyptian were trading blows with their swords, but the Egyptian lost his sword in the next attack and quickly pulling his mace, he crushed the Assyrian's face. As the Egyptian turned his head, Ashurbanipal swung with full force, cutting the Egyptian's head in nearly two with his sappara.

As Ramesses got near Ashurbanipal, both leaders clashed their swords and neither got an advantage, as Ashurbanipal made a powerful cleave attack with his sappara, he sliced Ramesses shield in half, only to notice Ramesses ducking and chopping off his leg, as the assyrian king felt down, the Pharaoh sliced Ashurbanipal's throat.

As the Assyrians were slain, Ramesses raised his khopesh and gave a shout of victory.

Expert's Opinion
While Ashurbanipal had more mobility with his horse, his iron weapons were softer than Ramesses bronze weapons and he was inferior in leadership and tactics, he brutality and thirst for blood were not going to help him in this match.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.