Knights of the Round Table

The Knights of the Round Table (led by the famous King Arthur) are a group of medieval English knights famous for their tales of physical and mental prowess. The myth of King Arthur's Round Table first appeared about a thousand years ago in Wace's Roman de Brut, an ancient literary history of Britain. Notable members of the Knights of the Round Table include King Arthur, Sir Lancelot, Sir Galahad, Sir Gawain, and Sir Bedevere, among others. Being of nobility, they received the highest forms of training, and were excellently equipped and protected as they charged into battle. King Arthur himself wielded the legendary Excalibur sword that he pulled out of an enormous stone - a sign that he was to go on to lead England (which, he did). Sir Lancelot is particularly infamous for having an affair with Arthur's queen, Guinevere. Their most famous adventure involved searching the Holy Grail (famously parodied by the Monty Python comedy group) and their legends are still as strong today as they were a thousand years ago.

Battle vs. the Merry Men (by El Alamein)
Merry Men:

Knights of the Round Table:

King Arthur and six other Knights of the Round Table, including Sir Lancelot, Sir Galahad, and Sir Bedevere, are riding through Sherwood Forest on their way to Nottingham on a goodwill visit and to try and set up a plan to rid the town of the bandits raiding them and draining their economy. Arthur knows of a band of robbers known as the Merry Men but he and his men are armed and armored and he feels confident that they can ride through and escape.

It is midmorning by the time they ride down the trail close to the Merry Men's camp. Robin of Locksley, better known as Robin Hood, has several men waiting in the treetops for any people passing through - if they qualify as "rich", he'll order the attack. He spots the Knights riding down the trail, decides them to be fair targets, and signals one of the Merry Men to go down to try a peaceful robbery. He and the rest of the men string their bows.

"Good morning," said the robber pleasantly. He held a longsword and had a buckler strapped on the other. "If you'd pay the... toll, to pass through here, we'd appreciate it, and there won't be any trouble." He smiled cheerily.

Arthur pushed his horse forward, the animal whinnying nervously. "And who are you, so brave as to try and rob us by yourself? We are armed, we have weapons. You are a fool. Stand aside and we'll let you live."

"Right, then, Robin!" the Merry Man called up. He plunged his sword into Arthur's horse and the beast screamed before falling to the side awkwardly. Arthur fell and stumbled to get up. The Merry Man lunged at Arthur with his sword but a Knight carrying a crossbow fired it from the horse, and the wooden bolt flew straight into the robber's chest. The Merry Men let loose a volley of arrows on the confused knights and one of them, carrying a mace, took an arrow to the gut. He doubled over just in time to get another one to the back of the head. He fell forward over the mane of his horse and tumbled off, dead.

The Merry Men leaped out of the treetops and charged at the rallying knights below. Sir Lancelot leaped off of his horse and rammed a Merry Man with his round shield. The robber stumbled backward and waved his arms trying to recover but Lancelot stabbed the man clean through the midsection with his longsword. The bandit cried out in agony and slumped down on the blade before spitting blood all over the forest floor and dying. Lancelot raised his sword out of the body and turned to engage another robber.

Robin Hood charged at a knight who raised his heavy mace on top of a horse, and he slit the horse across the neck. The horse didn't die right away and instead panicked, bleeding, and threw the knight from his horse. Robin watched as Little John appeared with a quarterstaff and bludgeoned the man's head in with the heavy wooden polearm, knocking his brains out. Sir Galahad tried to backstab Little John in the middle of his gruesome work, but Robin throws his dagger through the air and hits the knight in the forehead. Sir Galahad reaches up to clutch at the handle sticking out of his forehead but staggers and drops.

Arthur runs at a Merry Man, who raises his quarterstaff and swings wildly, missing. Before he can recover, Excalibur is plunged downward into his neck. He stumbles upon Robin Hood, who draws his buckler, and the two begin a duel. Sir Lancelot approaches Little John, and the massive man swings his staff, breaking the knight's arm. However Bedevere with his pike stabs Little John in the thigh. Angrily, the bandit breaks the weapon on the handle and rips the blade out. He puts a foot on Lancelot's chest and kicks him away, but is hit again in the arm. Finally a spiked mace finds its way into the back of his neck and Little John falls facedown, bleeding into the dirt. Robin sees this and is infuriated, so he kicks Arthur away and stuns the king before he charges Bedevere, stabbing him in the stomach and pulling the knife up and out of his body. Lancelot too is slashed across the face in Robin's fury.

Robin turns to see one of his bandits get decapitated and he and his last remaining man charge Arthur and his last knight. Both of the subordinates run each other through and sink to the dirt. Arthur swings with Excalibur and Robin cuts his wrist with a downward thrust. The king stumbles back in pain and Robin throws the combat knife, injuring the king further, in the stomach. He picks up his buckler and swings it at the disoriented Arthur and, getting in close, drives his shortsword into Arthur's neck. Blood bubbles out of Arthur's nose, and he drops Excalibur, never breaking eye contact with Robin until the light fades from his eyes. Robin drops the body and looks down, shaking his head.

"You bloody bastard, you should have given us the money."

WINNER: MERRY MEN

Expert's Opinion
In the battle between the two medieval myths, Arthur's knights had an advantage with training, arms and armor but the Merry Men's greater experience with armed soldiers and his ambush scenarios meant he often ended the battle before it started. His spirited men were tricky to beat in battle and that's what carried the day for Robin of Locksley and his Merry Men.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.