Vlad the Impaler

Vlad the Impaler (1431-1476), also known as Vlad III and Vlad Dracula (literally: "Son of the dragon" or "Son of Satan") was the Prince of Wallachia (in modern day Romania) who is best known historically for his resistance against the Ottoman Empire and its expansion, and for the cruel punishments he imposed on his rivals. In the English-speaking world, he is perhaps best remembered for possibly inspiring the name of the titular vampire from Bram Stoker's 1897 novel Dracula.

The title "the Impaler" refers to his habit of having his enemies impaled upon stakes. The consensus among most historians is that anywhere from 40,000-100,000 victims were impaled during Vlad's three reigns as prince. It was also reported that in 1462, Mehmed II, the man who conquered Constantinople (modern-day Istanbul, Turkey) and was well-renowned for his own psychological tactics, was forced to retreat in disgust at the sight of 20,000 impaled corpses (many of them Turkish prisoners of war) outside of Vlad's capital.

Vlad was also a courageous man- he led from the front and never let his men do all the fighting. Although he is renowned for his cruelty throughout most of Western Europe, he is regarded as a national hero in his native Romania.

Once, Vlad had peasants and beggars, the lowest of the low, come to a big feast. When they were all drunk, Vlad asked if they wanted to never be hungry again. When they said yes, Vlad left and ordered his guards to burn the dinning hall down with all the people inside.

Vlad was known throughout his land for his fierce insistence on honesty and order. Thieves seldom dared practice their trade within his domain, for they knew that the stake awaited any who were caught. Vlad was so confident in the effectiveness of his law that he laced a golden cup on display in the central square of Tirgoviste. The cup was never stolen and remained entirely unmolested throughout Vlad’s reign. Another storys goes Vlad once had a mistress that lived in a house in the back streets of Tirgoviste. This woman apparently loved the prince to distraction and was always anxious to please him. Vlad was often moody and depressed and the woman made every effort to lighten her lover’s burdens. Once, when he was particularly depressed, the woman dared tell him the lie that she was with child. Vlad had the woman examined by the bath matrons. When informed that the woman was lying, Vlad drew his knife and cut her open from the groin to her breast, leaving her to die in agony.

Another story tells of a merchant from a foreign land visiting Tirgoviste. Aware of the reputation of Vlad’s land for honesty, he left a treasure-laden cart unguarded in the street overnight. Upon returning to his wagon in the morning, the merchant was shocked to find 160 golden ducats missing. Then the merchant complained of his loss to the prince, Vlad assured him that his money would be returned. Vlad Dracula then issued a proclamation to the city—find the thief and return the money or the city will be destroyed. During the night he ordered that 160 ducats plus one extra be taken from his own treasury and placed in the merchant’s cart. On returning to his cart the next morning and counting his money the merchant discovered the extra ducat. The merchant returned to Vlad and reported that his money had indeed been returned plus an extra ducat. Meanwhile the thief had been captured and turned over to the prince’s guards along with the stolen money. Vlad ordered the thief impaled and informed the merchant that if he had not reported the extra ducat he would have been impaled alongside the thief.

Battle vs Genghis Khan
Genghis Khan:

Vlad the Impaler:

Genghis Khan led four other Mongols, three on horseback and two on foot, along a road into a clearing in a forest. From the other side, Vlad the Impaler, two Wallachian cavalry, a halberdier, and a hand cannoneer stood charged into the forest.

The foot soldier put down the halberd and unsling an arbalest from his back, firing a shot that struck on Genghis' foot soldiers in the chest, killing him. ]

Genghis and the other Mongols loosed a swarm of arrows from their composite bows, one of them striking the crossbowman in the face, killing him instantly. .

Vlad's hand cannoneer fired off a shot, impacting a Mongol horseman in the chest, blowing him off his horse.

Vlad then drew his kilij and led the charge at the Mongols. A Mongol with a fire lance levels the weapon at a rapidly closing Wallachian cavalryman and fired, filling the Wallachian's chest with shot.

Vlad himself cut down the Mongol soldier with fire lance, slicing him open with a downward slash of his kilij. . The rest of the Mongols retreated, with Vlad giving chase, thinking he had won.

However, the Mongols turned around, firing off a hail off arrows at the oncoming Wallachians, killing both of Vlad's remaining soldiers, as well as Vlad's horse, riddling them with arrows. .

Genghis Khan charged at Vlad, slicing downward with his Turko-Mongol saber. The blade sliced across the Wallachian Prince's throat, killing him in a spray of blood.

WINNER: Genghis Khan

Battle vs. Ivan the Terrible (by Utter noob)
Ivan the Terrible     Vlad the Impaler

Vlad sits down behind a small wooden table. Glancing to the left, he looked directly to the field of impaled victims. He cracked a smile and reached for a slice of bread, dipping it into a small container of blood.

Vlad brought the wheat to his mouth but before taking a bite he noticed a small group of soldiers moving into the field. Vlad rises, setting down the bread before motioning his troops to come to his side. Ivan looks upon Vlad and orders his men to stand side-by-side in firing position.

Ivan’s troops fired a volley of rounds at Vlad’s troops, the first hitting a warrior next to him in the head. The second shot hit Vlad in the side. Vlad was thrown to the ground as one of his troops fired a crossbow at the invaders, piercing a man’s throat.

Vlad feels his stomach. Fortunately it was a graze and as he stood a loyal soldier handed him a hand cannon. Ivan’s troops began to reload as Vlad and two warriors charged. Two of Ivan’s Streltsy set down their Pischals and advanced with Bardiches.

The first Streltsy slams into one of Vlad’s soldiers with his Bardiche; however Vlad repays him by blasting him point blank with his hand canon.

The second Streltsy hits Vlad in the chest with his Bardiche knocking him onto the ground. Before being able to give a finishing blow, another of Vlad’s troops rushed forward and decapitated the Streltsy with a slice from a Kilij.

Now finished reloading, the final Streltsy fires his Pischal, killing one of Vlad’s troops.

Vlad gets to his feet again and the Streltsy unsheathes his Sablia. Vlad draws his Kilij and slashes high, but the Streltsy parried and counter slashed at Vlad, but his chainmail deflected the blow. Vlad punched the Streltsy in the jaw and, while he was stunned, slit his skull in half with a strike from his Kilij.

Vlad’s crossbowman fires another bolt downrange, but once again the wind carries it away from his target. Irritated, he reloads and moves closer to get a better shot.

Seeing his last soldier fall angered Ivan. With a roar, he charged with his Sablia. Vlad striked first, aiming for Ivan’s throat. Ivan parried and smashed Vlad’s nose with his sword’s hilt. Vlad sliced at Ivan’s chest, however he failed to cause any harm to the price of Moscow.

Ivan pushed Vlad back and slashed his hand, making him drop the Kilij. Vlad turned and ran for the hand canon as Ivan pursed. Vlad grabbed the weapon with his uninjured hand as Ivan prepared to decapate him. As Ivan raised his sword however, a bolt rammed into his shoulder. He roared in pain and fell to his knee. Vlad stood up and slammed the hand cannon upon Ivan’s head.

Minutes later Ivan joined his Streltsy in the forest of impaled warriors.

Expert's opinion
Vlad the Impaler won this battle. Although both warriors had the same armor, and Ivan had a more effective long range weapon, he couldn't keep up with the tremendous slashing power of the Kilij and the options of the halberd. Add that to his better mental health and Vlad triumphs.

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