User blog:Appelmonkey/Monthly News March 2019



I honestly dunno what to write for an intro here. I have a fucking cold, so gimme a break will ya?

Wiki News

 * Just a heads up for those who were planning to use the Jaguar and Eagle Warrior. Both pages were merged together into the Aztec Soldier since the only thing separating them is their namesake animal and that they are ranks within the Aztec army.

Battle Adverstements
And now for something new, we are going to highlight some battles that are (at time of writing) open for votes. Another Deadliest Warrior rematch is up!


 * Dutch van der Linde vs. "Lucky" Ned. It's high noon. Two opposing gangs of cowboys meet in a town. On one side stands Dutch van der Linde and the Van der Linde Gang. On the other is Lucky Ned and his own gang of infamous bandits. In the end, only one outlaw walks away alive. Will Dutch's convoluted scheming be the death of him? Or will Ned's luck finally run out?


 * KPA Occupation Force vs. Gileadian Military. Oppressive regimes from both sides of the political spectrum clash for control of what once was the United States of America. Will it be the Korean People's Army Occupation Force who will break the Gileadian's faith? Or will the Gileadian ilitary crush the godless socialist in the name of the Lord?


 * Mewtwo vs. Cole MacGrath. When Mewtwo suddenly appears in New Marais and starts wreaking havoc on its inhabitants Cole is quick to run to their aid and soon finds that this new opponent is stranger and maybe even stronger than any Conduit he had ever faced.


 * Leon Trotsky vs. Geronimo. Governments have a tendency to be corrupt and oppress the people they are supposed to protect, whether it be the working class or the country's native people. But there are always those who fight against the man and seek to change society. Like the communist revolutionary Leon Trotsky, and the Apache guerrilla leader Geronimo. In this battle of revolutionaries, only one can be the Deadliest Warrior.


 * Sioux Warriors vs. Johnson County Homsteaders. As if fighting against the Homesteaders didn't have it hard enough defending their land against the cattle barons now they have gotten reports coming in that a group of Indians are planning to raid their land. Meanwhile the noble warriors of Sioux are planning to take back whats theirs from the white men that long have occupied the lands of their ancestors.


 * Karl Fairburne vs. Simo Häyä. Another day, another mission. Just as the famous elite sniper Karl Fairburne hunts down the men attacked US forces, he soon finds that he isn't the only sniper hunting these men down. Can Kalr beat his mysterious opponent to the punch? Or will his targets be taken by the White Death before he can get to them?

World News

 * Going to start this with good news from now on and end with good news, should be nice to hear about it amidst all the horrible stuff that happens. After decades of conservation efforts, sea turtle populations have risen immensely over time with a 980% increase since the 70s. The once critically endangered species who’s numbers only numbered in the hundreds during the 1970s have now reached 40,000+ with the species continuing to rebound as time goes on. Humpback Whales have also made their astounding return, recently reaching the number of 10,000 in 2015, up from 1979’s partly number of 800.


 * The War For Vaccines continues as efforts around the globe are being ramped up to request mandatory vaccination for all, as measles outbreaks rip across the Western world due to select fringe groups that refuse vaccinations. The WHO has recently called the anti-vaccination movement, one of the biggest concerns to global health and stability in their recent report. Along with testimonies in the United States, Australia and Canada as children of anti-vaccination advocates, wishing to not endanger their communities have gotten their shots behind their parent’s backs. More studies have popped up to quell any unwarranted autism fears for vaccines as a measure to convince those who believe this to be true and learn that their fears are not real
 * Drug Lord ‘El Chapo’ has recently been found guilty in the United States on all ten counts of drug-related crimes during his trial. Sentencing will be determined at a later date which could mean a life time of prison for the former drug lord who now finds himself lacking in proper escape route choices. Multiple former allies testified against the drug lord mentioning his various murders, bribing the former President of Mexico to end the man hunt against him, raping of girls as young as 13; whom he called ‘vitamins’ as he believed they gave him life. Jurors were escorted and were anonymous to protect themselves against any possible retribution.


 * Going to end with Good Guy Bill Gates about to bring the hammer down on some fools who wasted his money and destroyed the integrity of a wonderful project. The Gates Foundation offered a $30 million grant to the Canadian company PnuVax Inc in 2017. The Canadian company promised to create a vaccine for pneumonia, but instead used the cash to pay off its debts and back rent. The sum was aimed to reduce the disease which afflicts many under the age of five globally. After being asked for a final report, the Canadian company submitted an incomplete report and requested an additional $11 million in funding from the Foundation. Naturally, the Gates Foundation was having none of those and is now in the process of suing the company.

Popculture

 * Jump Force has been released and while many fans have praised the graphics and gameplay, it received some flak for lacking variety of characters and lackluster animation during the story mode cutscenes. Still, if you're a fan of Shonen Jump manga, its worth checking out. BioWare's latest game, Anthem, has been released and if reviews are anything to go by, it doesn't live up to the hype that EA was hoping to create. While praised for its graphics, many thought its gameplay was repetitive, shallow, and purposeless.


 * The LEGO Movie 2: The Sequel lacks the freshness of its predecessor, but still has the same heart that made the first LEGO Movie so enjoyable to watch. Alita: Battle Angel is a good movie depending what you want from it. While the story feels like a bunch of movies into one, the action is really enjoyable to watch. Main character's eyes are kinda weird to look at though. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World just watch it. It looks great, its awesome, go fucking watch it right now.


 * Kind of late to party with this. Telltale's The Walking Dead: The Final Season has been officially taking over by Skybound who is planning to finish the season, giving TWD fans at least some closure to Clementine's adventure. Next episode is going to be released on the 18th.
 * Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aimé has announced in a heartfelt Twitter video that he has officially retired from Nintendo in order to spend more time with his family. Reggie thanked the Nintendo fans for their undying support while reminiscing about the good times he had during his time has president. Then, in a moment that will live forever in memedom, Reggie announced that his position would be taking over by none other than vice-president of marketing Doug Bowser. The joke wasn't lost of Doug who posted a picture to his Twitter, thanking Nintendo fans for the warm welcome while a tied up Mario and Luigi plushies could be seen in the background.


 * Jussie Smollett, best known for the role as Jamal Lyon in the tv-series Empire, has been arrested for filing a false police report after he claimed he was attacked and beaten by two Trump supporters. While he first gained a lot of support after the alleged attack the police managed to find little evidence of it, which prompted an investigation on the validity of Smollett's claim. On February the 21st he surrendered himself to the police and soon after the police had concluded that the attack was staged. The exact reason behind the staged attack is unkown, though many speculate that Smollett tried to draw attention to himself so that his character wouldn't be written off Empire.

Birhtdays
Is it your birthday this month? Post the date and the age you will be in the comments and I add you on the list. Happy birthday!