User blog comment:Wassboss/Coach vs Shaun/@comment-143604-20120704220153

Drayco90's Edgy Edges of Edgy AMURICA.


 * Close Range- Shaun. The Shovel will deal a lot more damage per swing, will hit harder and will be more durable. The guitar will likely break in the first couple swings. The metal head could easily do cutting damage from a hard enough swing, and if Coach is knocked down, a downward thrust could be a killing blow. The guitar is hollow and won't hold up in a fight and once it splinters it won't be of much use.


 * Mid-Range- Coach. The baseball bat gets this because it's longer (no longer than 42 in. compared to no longer than 38 in.) and ligher (1-kg compared to 1.1 to 2.3-kg), allowing for faster blows that can hit Shaun before Shaun can strike back. The Cricket Bat seems to be the "stronger" of the two in terms of damage that would be done on impact, but the Baseball bat is a brutally deceptive weapon that can easily break a foe quickly.


 * Long Range- Coach. The Winchester is by far the better gun for this scenario, it's a longer ranged, more accurate gun. The problem? The Winchester is being held by a man who isn't exactly a crack shot. Shaun is pretty prone to panic when shooting and isn't all that accurate, he wastes ammo, he misses a lot, he acts generally like a civilian who has little to no experience shooting a gun because he IS a civillian with little to no experience shooting a gun. Coach's weapon is not only easier to use, but it does huge, brutal damage up close. Coach is more disciplined nad skilled shot, and he's a better gunman overall, allowing him to take this category. He may not have the same level of range and his gun is less accurate, but his bullets will hit their target when he wants them to, while Shaun will be lucky to score a minor wound with his Winchester.


 * Special Weapon- Shaun. This one isn't even a real contest. The crowbar can do some major damage, sure, but it doesn't have the length of the axe, meaning it's missing a vital range advantage. The Crowbar can tear flesh and do blunt trauma, but the Fire Axe can cut, slash, sever and do blunt trauma, giving it a wider range of killing options at a longer length. In short, the Fire Axe has more kill per swipe.


 * Deadliest Warrior- Coach. Shaun of the Dead may be better than Left 4 Dead 2, but Shaun himself is hardly a fighter. He's bumbling, kind of dumb and has little to no skill with weapons. His Winchester is probably the best weapon in the fight, but it's nearly worthless in his hands, and while he may dominate melee in term of weaponry, Coach is a bigger man with more power behind his strikes and more discipline behind his trigger finger. He'll come out on top of this simply because Shaun won't be prepared to do what he has to do to survive, and when he finally comes around, he won't be good enough at it to do the damage he needs.